A Pivotal Year
by Gracie Becker
Summary: Book 4 in a series about Owen Hunt, Amelia Shepherd and their family. Their eldest, Nolan, is off to college and the twins are beginning Kindergarten. Amelia and Owen will discover a new normal as their family matures and their careers at Grey Sloan continue to unfold.
1. Chapter 1 - I Will Wait For You

**Chapter 1 – I Will Wait for You**

 **A Pivotal Year**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **August 16**

The uneventful and long drive to San Francisco provided ample opportunity for Lissa and Nolan to eagerly envision how their long distance relationship would function over the next ten months. As if negotiating a contract both couldn't wait to sign, promises were made about the frequency of contact by text and voice. As he grasped and kissed her hand, Nolan revealed that he had already purchased a plane ticket for Lissa to come visit during her fall break in October. With only five days off for Thanksgiving, Nolan hadn't decided whether he would fly home to Seattle or not. However, they both knew that Nolan would be home for three solid weeks at Christmastime.

Never far behind or ahead, Owen drove the same trek as the young lovebirds. Alone, he was able to allow his mind to process all that had occurred the previous month and reflect upon the previous six years. Instead of sending one child off to college and welcoming a baby into the home, two goodbyes unfolded back to back. Rather than have a traditional family, he and his new wife had inherited three children shortly after marriage. Owen had learned that the only reality to anticipate was the unexpected.

Soon after he returned, the twins would begin Kindergarten. Little by little, they would grow up and grow away from perceiving their dad as their primary hero and companion. Lucas, eager to keep up with his older sisters, would begin pre-K. Lissa would enter her senior year, Ryder 8th grade, and Olivia 4th grade. In many ways, Owen longed for the days when the former Tremblay children were in grade school and the littles were babies.

Bringing his awareness back to the present moment, Owen used his Bluetooth to call Lissa. They were nearing Eugene, Oregon and lunchtime was around the corner. As plans were set, the two cars exited the freeway and parked at a restaurant.

"We're making great time," Owen observed as they each reviewed the menu. "I imagine we'll get to UCSF around 6:30 or 7:00."

"Is there a reason that's our stop for the night?" Lissa inquired curiously.

"A friend from medical school is the Head of Oncology there. He offered to put us up for the night and to show me around the hospital. You guys are welcome to come along on the tour if you're interested," Owen shared.

Catching one another's eyes and communicating silently that touring a hospital was low on their bucket list, Nolan responded, "We'll pass. Maybe we can explore the area or hang out at your friend's place."

Attempting to act nonchalant about the decision, Owen shrugged and stated, "Sure. Of course."

After they ordered, their food was served promptly. As they ate, Lissa piped up with joy, "Hey, Dads, guess what?" Owen looked at her expectantly, signaling for her response. "Nolan surprised me this morning with a plane ticket to visit him at USC during Fall Break."

Coughing, Owen sipped some water and answered, "Really? Oh."

"Won't that be great?" Lissa celebrated, not reading Owen's reaction.

"Uh, yeah," Owen hesitated. "We'll have to take a look at the calendar and see how that fits in with any other plans."

"What other plans?" Lissa, perplexed, inquired.

Owen took a bite of his meal and shrugged. He knew that Lynne was hoping to have Lissa's assistance while he and Amelia were in Hawaii with Ryder and Olivia. At the same time, Owen thought it was best to connect with Amelia before carrying on the conversation any further.

As soon as he swallowed his bite, Owen asked Nolan, "What are you most looking forward to once you arrive at USC, Nole?"

"I haven't really thought about that. Checking out the campus and settling in, I guess. I'm glad we have a week between move in and the start of classes," Nolan responded. "That'll give everyone a chance to get to know each other and be chill." Chuckling, he added, "And the weather. I'm really looking forward to better weather, too."

"Sure, while we're bundled up and carrying umbrellas, you'll be at the beach surfing," Lissa teased with a giggle.

Owen, feeling down from all he had considered during the morning drive, smirked slightly. "How about if we mix it up a little? Maybe Nolan and I could ride together after lunch?"

"Sure," Nolan responded respectfully, not actually looking forward to the switch. "Does Liss get the Porsche or the Jeep?"

"Ha!" Owen chuckled, "What do you think, Liss?"

Shaking her head, she accepted, "The Jeep is fine. Can I trust you two not to pick up girls if you're unsupervised in a fancy sports car?"

"Mmm…maybe," Nolan joked with a wink.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Meanwhile, at the Shepherd-Hunt home, Olivia had set up a St. Francis school room in the playroom. Her teacher desk, otherwise known as the sofa, sat in the front of the room. Cushions on the floor represented Ria, Luke, and Anna's desks.

"At your school, there are lots of rules. You can't dance or skip. You must walk. I'm going to teach you how to act at your school so you have a better first day than I did," Olivia explained seriously.

"I thought you went to Mantasaurus school," Ria sought to confirm using the family word for Montesorri.

"I do. But I went where you're going for a few days, so I know all about it," Olivia informed them. "Now, class," Miss Hunt, the teacher, began, "everyone must sit down at their desk."

Ria and Anna walked over to their cushions dutifully while Lucas created a circuitous route to his desk that involved jumping on the couches before landing at his cushion.

"Mr. Hunt," Olivia bellowed, "that is inappropriate. You cannot have fun at school. You must be serious and not play."

"That's stupid," Lucas offered as he stood on a chair.

"Stupid is a bad word at school, Mr. Hunt. You have to go sit outside the door in the hallway," Olivia declared as she reenacted her disastrous first day of school. She walked over to Lucas and bent down so she was face-to-face with him. "Mr. Hunt, that behavior is bad and wrong. Follow me." Leading Lucas to the playroom door, she pointed to a spot just outside the room and grumbled, "Sit. Now." Lucas sat down and looked at Olivia like she was crazy. As soon as she closed the door and returned to her better behaved students, he began rolling around, doing summersaults and attempting to stand on his head.

Amelia, hearing an occasional thud against the wall, walked over to check out the noises. "Luke, why are you sitting out here?"

"Look, Mama, I can almost stand on my head," he attempted to display.

"I thought you were playing with the girls," Amelia mentioned.

Lucas shook his head and laughed, "They are playing school and Olivia is a mean teacher. It's stupid."

"Stupid is not a nice word, Lucas," Amelia responded seriously.

"I'm sorry, Mama. Her school is icky. There are lots of rules and no fun," Lucas detailed. "She told us that's what our new school is like. I want to go to Mantasaurus school instead."

With a subtle sigh, Amelia knocked on the playroom door and proceeded inside. "Miss Hunt? I'm Principal Shepherd. Could we speak in the other room?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Olivia smiled. She turned to her students and lowered her brow with anger, "Be perfect and silent while I am gone, girls."

Skipping out through the doorway and to the dining room table, Olivia cheerfully looked at Amelia and chirped, "Yes, Mommy?"

"Livie, you can't tell the littles that their new school is mean. They won't want to go there," Amelia explained.

"But it is mean there, Mommy. There are too many rules and all the grown-ups are serious and angry all the time. I'm helping them get ready for that," Olivia explained with utter seriousness.

"How about if you find another pretend game? House or hospital? Or maybe office?" Amelia suggested.

"We'll play house, then," Olivia agreed. She walked back into the room and informed the group, "We're changing the game. Instead of school, we're playing house. I'm the baby. Who's the Mommy?"

"I'm the Mommy," Anna claimed as she assigned the other roles. "Lucas, you're Daddy. Ria, you're the teenager."

Amelia sat at the table listening, highly tempted to peek into the playroom as the new scene unfolded.

"Everybody listen to me," Lucas declared in a low voice. "I'm Owen Hunt. You do what I say." Hearing Lucas' impersonation made Amelia spit out her coffee as she laughed.

"But, husband," Anna responded with a voice far higher than Amelia's, "I have to go save the world right now. You need to stay home while I work."

"Then go," Lucas insisted. "I'll take care of the children."

Ria chimed in as the over-wrought teenaged girl, "Why doesn't anyone talk to me? You all hate me!"

"Waahhh…waaaahhh," Olivia pretended to cry as she lay on the sofa in her 'crib.'

Lucas ran to Olivia, "You're ok, little baby. Daddy loves you the bestest. You're my favorite."

"I want to be the favorite," Ria dramatically interjected.

"You're not my favorite. You're fwustwating," Lucas declared. "Go study, teenager."

"I'm home," Anna sang, "I saved every sick person in the universe. How was your day?" Still eavesdropping, Amelia wondered about Anna's portrayal of the Mommy figure.

"Let's go snuggle," Lucas suggested as he hugged his sister.

"Oh, husband!" Anna giggled. "I loooovvveeee youuuuu."

Lucas slapped Anna's rear, causing her to step out of character. "Hey! Lucas, no hitting!"

"I didn't hit. Daddy slaps Mommy's bottom and it makes her laugh," Lucas explained. "I was just being the Daddy."

"Well I don't like you touching my bottom," Anna declared.

"Then don't be the wife," Lucas shrugged.

Ryder came downstairs and looked at Amelia quizzically. He whispered, "What are you doing?"

"I'm listening to them play house," Amelia explained. "Lucas the Daddy just patted Anna the Mommy on the butt and she's upset." Ryder sat down and joined his mom in listening to the littles.

"I'm tired of playing the baby. It's boring. I'm gonna be Nolan instead," Olivia decided. "Let's play again. Lucas, don't hit Anna's bottom even if she is the Mommy."

"Ok," Lucas promised with resignation. "I'm starting this time," he announced. In his low Daddy voice, Lucas began, "People! We need to. Clean. This. House. Teenager girl, you vacuum. Nolan, you boss everyone around. Wife, do the dishes."

Ryder nearly fell off his chair as he quipped, "Sounds just like Dad." Smiling, Amelia closed her eyes and continued to listen in.

"Husband," came Anna's breathy Mommy voice, "I need your help!"

"You do, huh?" Lucas responded with a sultry flirt. The two walked to the corner of the room while 'Nolan' and 'Lissa' were left alone.

"Don't worry about vacuuming, baby, worry about me and my big muscles," Olivia told Ria.

"I love your muscles. You're so handsome. I just wanna kiss you all day," Ria responded.

"I gotta go in there," Ryder insisted to the real life Amelia as he laughed himself to tears. "Who should I be?"

"Let them play, Ry. If you go in there, it'll stop. This is the best entertainment I've had in months," Amelia giggled as her phone rang. Owen's number popped up and she quickly answered the phone, "Hi, Handsome. How's the drive?"

"It's going well, Mom," Nolan laughed. "Dad's driving. He wanted me to call and check in. What's up at home?"

"Actually, you guys are missing the most hilarious version of house I've ever heard. Olivia is you, Ria is Lissa, Lucas is Dad and Anna is me," Amelia shared.

"Oh, yeah?" Nolan questioned.

"You just told Lissa to forget about vacuuming and instead worry about you and your muscles," Amelia cackled. "And Lucas slapped Anna on the butt earlier."

Nolan howled, then shared the play by play with Owen. Amelia could hear his laugh through the phone. Amelia continued, "And when I came home from work earlier, I'd saved every sick person in the universe. Tell Dad my stats are looking pretty solid this month." After Nolan repeated Amelia's words, she heard Owen ask, "What are my stats?"

"Tell him he doesn't have any yet. He's busy slapping my rear and telling people to clean the house," Amelia explained.

"Great," Owen quipped when Nolan repeated Amelia's words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

After hanging up with Amelia, Nolan and Owen shared funny memories from years past. One story led to another as the two laughed and chortled their way to San Francisco. The up and down relationship they'd shared lately was experiencing a positive period. The time alone together in the car was proving to be fantastic.

As Lissa followed Owen to UCSF, Owen described his buddy to Nolan, "He's my age, never been married. No kids. Spends most of his time in the lab or the OR as far as I can tell. He has an amazing house in the Pacific Heights, but I'm not sure he's there much. For two guys whose lives used to be alike in med school, we've sure lived differently since then."

The trio met up with Owen's friend, who jumped in Owen's car to lead them to his house. Once the kids were settled, Owen and his friend returned to UCSF for the tour. Nolan and Lissa sat out on an upper deck and took in the view of the Golden Gate Bridge and bay. "Someday, Shorty," Nolan imagined, "We'll have a house like this."

"I'm all for that," Lissa quipped as she stretched her legs out and rested them on Nolan's lap.

"And we'll fill it with kids and laughter," he mused.

Lissa grinned mischievously, "And you'll never be home because you'll have to work so hard to pay the mortgage on a place like this."

Winking, Nolan grinned, "Nah… spending time with you is a hell of a lot more important to me than money."

Pleased and satisfied with his clarification, Lissa quipped, "I'm holding you to that, Trems."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~''

With a short six hour drive on Day Two, the trio took their time hitting the road. Owen went to breakfast with his friend and came back at 9:00am to discover that neither Nolan nor Lissa had stirred. With his best father-Army major voice, he called out, "Let's go, let's go. 9:00am. Time to move."

Both teens dragged themselves out of bed and shuffled to a shower. Within five minutes, Owen was knocking on the bathroom doors and insisting they'd been in the shower long enough. Nolan called out to his dad, "I won't miss this part."

"I'll call you on the phone and it'll be like I'm right there," Owen kidded.

Within 30 minutes, the trio was on the road once again. Coveting every minute he could get with Nolan, Owen and Nolan rode in the Boxster and Lissa drove Nolan's Jeep. A little after 4:00pm, they arrived at the USC campus and Nolan checked in to his dorm.

Nolan and Owen unloaded the Jeep as Lissa made the bed and tended to her boyfriend's new home. With Lissa unpacking his clothes and setting up his computer, Nolan found himself more and more at home each time he made a trip from the Jeep to the room. Each round included Nolan kissing his girl and praising her for her help. Once the Jeep was unloaded, Owen let the kids have some time alone as he moved the Jeep to student parking and walked back to the dorms.

The initial plan for the night had been that Lissa, Amelia, and Owen would stay with Addison and Jake before driving at least halfway home the next day. With Amelia staying in Seattle, Owen had cancelled the visit with the Riley's and was eager to begin the drive home. Lissa, of course, was reluctant to leave USC and Nolan.

When Owen appeared in Nolan's doorway, he unintentionally came upon Nolan consoling a crying Lissa as they stood in the middle of the room wrapped in each other's arms. Nolan happened to be facing toward the door and motioned to his watch, requesting 10-15 minutes. Wandering outside, Owen waited on a bench near the dorm entrance. He called Amelia and checked in, assuring her that all was well and asking for advice on how to deal with Lissa and her tears on the way home.

Upstairs, Nolan rocked Lissa as he held her. Sobbing on his shoulder, Lissa managed to catch her breath and slow her tears, "I'm sorry. What a rotten way to leave. I should be happy for you."

"Shorty, now I'm positive you're gonna miss me," Nolan consoled as he kissed her forehead. He gazed into her eyes and disclosed, "I'm going to miss you, too, babe."

His tender words caused more tears to flow as Lissa buried her face into his chest. With a muffled voice, she cried, "I hate this. I don't want to be so far away."

"Shh, shh, I know, Lissa. Shh…" Nolan soothed. "Blondie, we'll see each other soon. October 18 will be here before you know it and I'll be waiting for you at LAX with a giant smile and a bunch of flowers. I'll probably arrive hours before you even board the plane from Seattle."

"Dads is gonna be up here any minute, huh?" she asked with swollen, puffy, and red eyes.

"He already was," Nolan admitted. "I shooed him away."

"Really? I didn't notice," Lissa sniffled and grinned.

"How about if I walk you downstairs and we find him?" Nolan suggested. He held out his hand and grasped her hand in his, then he led her down the hall and out the main doors. Owen, right there, smirked with anticipation and compassion before standing up.

"I guess this is goodbye for now, huh?" Owen managed to sputter.

"I guess so," Nolan shrugged. He embraced his dad and told him, "I love you, Dad."

Owen smiled, deeply happy for and proud of Nolan. "Enjoy every minute, Nole," he offered as he patted his shoulder.

Lissa and Nolan kissed one last time as he whispered something in her ear that made her giggle. She whispered back with a smile, "Okay."

With fatherly love, Owen extended his arm and put it around Lissa's shoulders. Owen's Boxster was only steps away. He opened Lissa's door for her, then walked around to his side. Lissa and Owen waved and Lissa blew a kiss. Nolan nodded his head and waved before heading upstairs to meet his new neighbors and jump into college with both feet.


	2. Chapter 2 - What Do You Want?

**Chapter 2**

 **A Pivotal Year – What Do You Want?**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **August 16**

From the time Owen and Lissa left USC until dinner, the ride north was silent. Actually, the sounds of sobs and sniffling filled the car as Lissa emotionally fell apart. Words, however, were scarce. About fifteen minutes into the drive, Nolan sent a text telling Lissa he already missed her. A smile became a fleeting companion to her tears as she held up the phone and showed it to Owen.

Glancing quickly, Owen grinned in response and observed, "That's nice." Internally, Owen attempted to remember Amelia's advice for dealing with an upset teenaged girl, _Don't force conversation, smile softly, offer an occasional hug, and give her space._ "Are you doing ok, Liss?" he inquired.

"I guess," she whimpered. She placed the pillow she'd brought from home against the window and leaned her head on it. With mounting tears, she blubbered, "I'm going to miss him so much." As she began crying again, Owen gently patted her shoulder without saying a word. He set his hand back down by the gearshift and continued to drive. He detested not being able to fix her situation for her, and Amelia had made him promise he wouldn't try. She'd told him, _She won't want anything fixed, she'll just want space to be sad. Don't let that flip you out._

He exited the freeway to fill up the gas tank and pulled up to a pump. Owen offered her a $10 bill and asked, "Do you want a snack or something to drink, Lissa?" She reluctantly agreed and he asked if she'd grab him a water. After stopping in the rest room to splash cold water on her face, she grabbed two bottled waters and selected some peanut butter cups that wouldn't crumble and leave a mess in the Boxster. Owen just happened to be glancing toward the store entrance when Lissa came out and he smiled gently when he saw her. After completing the fill up and sitting down in the car, he thanked her for the water and they continued their silent drive.

As the sun set and the sky grew dark, Owen wondered aloud, "Would you prefer I keep driving or should we get a hotel, Lissa?" Sound asleep, and likely dehydrated from all her crying, Lissa did not respond. Owen glanced over and noticed she was resting. He chose to keep driving and decided he'd try to make it to Stockton, another two hours, before turning in for the night. When he eventually pulled in to the hotel in Stockton, he woke Lissa up and whispered that they were stopping for the night. Sleepily, she followed him from the parking garage to the room.

The room had two double beds and Lissa fell onto one after brushing her teeth and changing her clothes. Her phone vibrated on the nightstand, but went unanswered. She was already deeply asleep. Every two minutes, it buzzed again until, finally, Owen picked it up and checked the message to stop the indicator. The message was from Nolan who had taken a picture of a picture of the tropics on someone's calendar and typed, _Let's run away to this place. ;-) Sleep well Blondie._

Owen chuckled to himself at Nolan's attentive nature as he attempted to find something on TV to watch until he decompressed from driving. As a movie from the 90s played on the TV, Owen found himself fading. Thanks to the sleep timer, the TV switched off about a half hour after Owen surrendered to his tired state.

The next morning, Lissa woke early and wrapped her arms around her pillow as she stared toward the window and pondered her new reality. While Nolan would be present via text, email, and phone, his physical absence would be difficult. So used to constant pecks on the cheek, holding hands, and walking arm in arm, Lissa had yet to determine how she would make it through the day without such a high dose of physical contact.

After her thoughts wandered for 30-45 minutes, Owen stirred and whispered, "Liss… you awake?"

"Yeah," she answered with a sigh.

Owen popped out of bed and rubbed his hands over his face, explaining, "I'm going to go for a run. You want to shower and start to get ready while I'm gone?"

Turning over and facing Owen, Lissa smirked and agreed to do so. Owen finished tying his shoelaces and headed out the door, promising, "I'll be back in half an hour or so."

Lissa forced herself into the shower and let the warm water cover her body. Afterward, she dressed and braided her hair so she wouldn't have to dry it. Without Nolan there, she felt no need to put on makeup or primp. By the time Owen returned, Lissa was ready to leave. While Owen showered and loaded the car, Lissa excused herself so she could grab something from the free breakfast offerings. She anxiously checked her phone as she ate.

Nolan had sent three texts from the time she fell asleep. The first, the one Owen read in order to silence the phone, made her giggle. The text sent at 3:00am made her sad – Nolan typed, _I can't sleep knowing how long it will be until I hold you again._ At 6:30am, he had sent another message that read, _Fell asleep then woke up again. Hope you're sleeping well. Love u._

Typing out a response, Lissa shared, _Cried from the time we left USC until it was dark. Fell asleep in the car, then Dads woke me up when we arrived in Stockton. Fumbled my way to bed and slept like rock. Dreamed about you all night long._

Shortly after she sent her text, Owen appeared and sat across from Lissa. "Did you sleep well?" he inquired as he began eating some cereal.

"Yeah, pretty much," Lissa smiled gently. "You?"

"I can sleep anywhere. Last night was no exception," Owen chuckled.

Lissa inquired, "How long is our drive today?"

"About twelve hours," Owen shared as he swallowed a bite.

"Ugh," Lissa huffed as she exhaled. "A long day in the car. Can we stop somewhere and buy some magazines?"

"Yeah. No magazines and stuck with an old man like me on top of it. You poor kid," Owen winked as he stood. "Ready?"

"Sure," Lissa agreed as she followed Owen to the car and snuggled into the seat.

As they began to drive, Owen requested, "Would you mind texting Amelia for me? Let her know we're leaving Stockton and hope to see her this evening."

Lissa complied and then read Amelia's response, _Can't wait to see you. How did the goodbyes go with Nolan?_ Looking up at Owen, she asked, "How should I respond?"

"Type out 'just fine. Sad but ok,'" Owen suggested. Lissa responded with Owen's words and read Amelia's immediate response to him, _I miss him so much already._ Owen asked Lissa to respond with a smiley face and leave it at that.

As they traveled north, coming closer and closer to home, Lissa's misery lessened and they began sharing a deep conversation.

Owen inquired, "What does your future hold, Lissa? What are your dreams after high school?"

"I want to be a teacher. Since I was little, I've wanted to teach elementary school," she shared. "And I plan to be Nolan's wife and the mother of our children. We've talked about that for years, but I don't know when we'll actually get married and live all that out."

"Do you have any big dreams? Things you hope to do in life?" Owen prodded, not understanding that Lissa's dreams were simpler than his.

"Yeah, what I just said. Those are my big dreams. I don't need to travel the world or be famous or rich. If my life includes a comfortable and loving home and enough food for my family, that's enough. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to stay home when my kids are young. Ending up with a fulfilling career would be nice too, but it's not as high on my list as family," Lissa stated with a solid belief that her dreams were all she'd ever need.

Owen smiled, "I admire your clarity and perspective. And Nolan, he kind of has big dreams for both of you, I guess."

"He wants a family like I do, but he wants to have a significant impact on the world, too. He has huge career dreams. After he obtains his CPA designation, he wants to go to law school. Sometimes, when he explains his specific career hopes, I can't even follow what he's describing. He knows about all these unique jobs I've never encountered. Some days he hopes to be a CFO, other days he thinks about being a forensic accountant or working for the Secret Service – did you know they investigate counterfeiting?"

"I did," Owen confirmed. "I believe that was their initial task."

"Oh," Lissa responded without much interest. "Anyway, his dreams are complicated, but I'll support them however I can. I love him and want to see his dreams come true."

Owen wasn't sure how to respond. In one sense, he adored Lissa's devotion to Nolan and their future family. A part of him, however, couldn't help but wonder _Is she sacrificing her potential dreams? Is being a wife and mom necessarily an unworthy aspiration? I don't think it is. How would Amelia respond? Lissa seems to be from the generation before Amelia rather than the one after – at least the stereotype version of women then. Maybe that is truly all she wants, but will she wake up in her mid-40s and question her choices? Is she lacking a sense of self or so solidly self-aware that she will dare to live the life she aspires to have? What if, God forbid, she ends up widowed or divorced? Where will that leave her? I never thought of it before, but she reminds me of Beth in so many ways._

Interrupting the rambling thoughts in Owen's head and the silence in the car, Lissa wondered aloud, "Dads, when you started college, did you have your life figured out? I mean, did you know you'd end up being a surgeon or a doctor? And get married?"

Chuckling, Owen admitted, "Not really. I knew I wanted to get married and have a family someday. I thought that would happen much sooner than it did. There was no doubt in my mind that I would be a doctor, but my only other goal at that point in my life was to get away from Seattle."

"Why? You live there now. Why did you want to leave it so bad then?" Lissa inquired.

Owen gazed at the road as he pondered his response. "I suppose I wanted to be on my own, call my own shots, make my own decisions."

"Sounds like Nolan," Lissa reflected without deep thought. Her observation, though, hit a chord in Owen. Suddenly, he was able to understand the push and pull relationship they'd been experiencing. Nolan wanted his own life and was ready for it.


	3. Chapter 3 - A Series of Firsts

**Chapter 3**

 **A Pivotal Year – A Series of Firsts**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **September 7**

"Lissa!" Owen called out, "If you're dropping Olivia off, you need to get going."

"She knows, Owen. She has five minutes before she has to leave," Amelia smiled as her husband fretted.

As if he hadn't heard her, he glanced up at Amelia to confirm, "Each twin has school supplies already at school?"

"Yep," Amelia assured him. "I dropped them off yesterday."

"Lunch? What about lunch?" Owen worried.

Amelia giggled, "I already told you, they're excited to eat school lunch on the first day."

With an expression of disgust, Owen responded, "Hopefully that will end after they try the school lunch. I don't want them eating all that processed crap."

"Settle down," Amelia gently insisted as she wrapped her arms around Owen's shoulders and kissed him. "Owen… we're experts at this first day of school gig. Everything is fine. Why are you so worried?"

With a grimace, Owen looked into Amelia's eyes. His brows were gathering at the bridge of his nose, "It's our babies…our twins… our little girls, Mia. And our baby boy… going to pre-K. Pre-K's a brand new grade for St. Francis. What if they don't know what they're doing?"

"I know," Amelia smiled. "I know."

"And Ria, what if she needs her brace adjusted? What if someone isn't aware of her needs and expects her to participate in a way she shouldn't?" Owen nearly cried.

"I know, Owen," Amelia gently grinned. "We've told the school all about her needs. You called the teacher, we've spoken to the principal face-to-face, and I notified the school counselor. Ria knows all she needs to do is politely point out her brace and explain that the office staff can provide more information."

"Yeah," Owen sputtered, unconvinced all would be well.

"Besides, if anyone gives her sister a hard time, you know Anna will knock them out. The only one allowed to pummel Ria is Anna, right?" Amelia teased.

"Oh my, don't even get my imagination started," Owen huffed as he ran his hand through his hair. "Now, are you sure you want to go with us? I'd love for you to go, don't get me wrong. I just don't want to see you overdo it."

"I'm sure," Amelia nodded. Lissa came downstairs as Owen and Amelia interacted. For the first time since she'd said goodbye to Nolan at USC, her hair was coifed and her makeup was on. Amelia caught a glance and smiled widely, glad to see the old Lissa return.

Owen walked over to the girls and Lucas, who were coloring at the table. He walked them through the Hunt Out the Door routine of grabbing their backpacks and putting on a coat. Then he shuffled them to the Enclave. Amelia followed behind.

Lissa poked her head into the play room and encouraged Ryder and Livie to load up. The three jumped into Lissa's car and were off.

"How do we rate?" Ryder sarcastically observed. "The brat pack has their first day of school and we didn't get a goodbye or a picture or anything from Mom and Dad."

"Maybe they don't like us anymore now that the littles are growing up," Olivia pondered aloud.

"C'mon you two," Lissa weighed in. "Dads was so stressed out, I think he just spaced the rest of us who can handle ourselves. Ry, if it makes you feel better, we'll take a First Day of School Selfie when we get to St. Francis."

With a dry voice, Ryder groaned, "I can't wait."

When Lissa pulled up to Olivia's school, she was internally green with envy as she saw all the students in their own clothes. Knowing this was her last year wearing a school uniform made Lissa's heart sing. As Livie jumped out of the car, Lissa called to her and snapped a picture. As she waved goodbye and pulled away, she handed the phone to Ryder and requested, "Can you text that to Amma and Dads? Oh, and to Noles."

"I'll bet he's been waiting hours to see this," Ryder quipped, completely disinterested and wishing he was still sleeping.

As they drove up and parked at St. Francis, Lissa and Ryder saw Owen and Amelia visiting with other parents in the front courtyard. "Oh crap," Ryder moaned. "Can you drop me off in the back?"

"Ryder, stop it. It won't kill you to publicly acknowledge your parents," Lissa fussed as she jumped out of the car and read Nolan's text response, _Where's the one of your first day, Blondie?_ She held her phone out in front of her, offered puckered lips and a wink, and snapped a selfie. As she walked, she forwarded the picture to Nolan. Two weeks prior, when Nolan's classes began, Lissa insisted he send her a picture. He sent a series of shots, including one of his text books, one of the sidewalk and his shadow, and one of him with a goofy smile.

Approaching Owen and Amelia, Lissa offered hugs and greeted them as Ryder attempted to slip past. Owen's long arm stretched out and grabbed Ryder's blazer collar, gently pulling him backward.

"There you are," Amelia cooed. "I want a picture of you on your first day of 8th grade." She'd already snapped a few of Lissa, who was now on her way to class.

"Seriously, Mom? C'mon. This is so not kosher," Ryder commentated.

Owen, looking confused, repeated, "Kosher? Are we Jewish now?"

"Here, Ryder, we can make it fun. Put your arm around me and we'll both be in it," Amelia suggested. Reluctantly, Ryder followed Amelia's suggestion and shared an indifferent expression. "I'll just get louder and more obnoxious the longer you refuse to smile," Amelia both teased and warned. Ryder smiled, the picture was snapped, and his torture was over.

Rather than hugging his dad, he fist pumped him and offered a half nod with a quick, "See ya."

Owen shook his head and smiled. "Well, Mama Bear, are you ready to head home?"

"Can't I hide in the Kindergarten and Pre-K rooms?" Amelia joked as she and Owen walked to the Enclave so he could take her home and then head to the hospital.

Meanwhile, in the high school hallway, chatter and hugs filled the space. High pitched voices called out, "Hey! How was your summer?" The questions were followed by detailed reports about who dated who, who transferred schools, and who was the subject of the latest gossip.

John quickly made his way over to Lissa when he spotted her heading to her locker. With wide arms, he embraced Lissa and she embraced him back. "John! Hey! Haven't seen you since the party," Lissa exclaimed.

Smiling, John asked, "That was a hell of a great time. Did you guys get away with that whole deal?"

"As far as I know," Lissa shrugged. "I know Nole and Dads had some sort of argument right after his parents came home, but Nole would've told me if it was about the party. I think they were just on each other's nerves."

John bore his eyes softly into Lissa's, "It's really great to see you." With a giggle, Lissa insisted she and John take a selfie to send to Nolan. "Hey, send a copy to me too," John requested. Just after she snapped the shot, Piper and Linnea approached Lissa and appeared dead serious.

After Lissa offered her own high pitched greeting, Piper whispered in her ear as they hugged, "Gotta talk. Now. Before class. Follow me." Confused but compliant, Lissa waved goodbye to John and trailed behind Linnea who trailed behind Piper. When Piper arrived at a quiet, unoccupied corner of a back hallway, she looked at her sister and prompted, "Tell her."

"Tell me what?" Lissa summoned with confusion.

"I'm late," Linnea whispered as she placed her hands over her womb.

"Oh, shit!" Lissa exclaimed in hushed shock. "Have you taken a pregnancy test?"

"Where would I get one of those?" Linnea protested. Lissa and Piper exchanged frustrated, impatient glances.

Lissa shook her head, "You can buy them at the store, dummy, and you could throw it away as soon as the result appeared. I think they only take 5-10 minutes or something."

"Three minutes," Piper quipped factually based on her own experience.

"There you go, you could even take it here during break if it only takes three minutes," Lissa suggested. "Does Chris know?"

"No," Linnea muttered quietly.

"Are you guys still together?" Lissa investigated.

"We are," Linnea confirmed.

Piper interrupted, "They saw each other every damn day until he left for USC."

"How can I help?" Lissa asked as she put her hand on Linnea's shoulder.

"Can I take the test at your house?" Linnea begged.

"Of course," Lissa promised as the warning bell rang. "Today? After school?" she asked as she headed down the hall. Linnea nodded with a wave of fear covering her face. As Lissa proceeded to her class, she sent a quick text to Nolan that read, _We've gotta talk asap._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~''

Later that afternoon, Amelia smiled widely as she parked to load Lucas and the twins in the Enclave. She inquired, "How was your day?"

"Mama! It was so fun. We had circle time and snack and recess and I wrote my whole long name. Look!" Victoria exclaimed as she held up a paper with her name in block letters.

"I wrote my whole long name too," Annabelle interjected. "And, Ria, you forgot that we had snack and went to the library, too." Ria smiled and nodded, not worried about Anna's detailed correction.

As Ryder approached the Enclave, Lucas added, "We did circle, too. And painting and learning how to line up and playing a game merembering peoples' names."

Knocking on the window, Ryder motioned for Amelia to unlock the passenger door. Amelia did and asked as Ryder entered the car, "I thought you were riding home with Lissa."

"I thought so too, but Piper and Linnea and Lissa are all together in a huddle of drama. They were so busy whispering to each other and looking to make sure I couldn't hear them that I told them I'd catch a ride with you," Ryder shared. "Oh, and here," he added as he handed Amelia a piece of paper.

"A referral on the first day, Ry?" Amelia groaned in disappointment.

"No," Ryder insisted. "My last period teacher said something about the principal and then handed me this envelope. I don't know what the hell it is."

Simultaneously, all three littles hollered, "Bad word!"

"Whatever," Ryder grumbled with a lowered brow as he turned back toward his siblings.

"Why are you so crabby?" Amelia inquired as she opened the envelope.

Snapping, Ryder insisted, "I'm not crabby."

"You sound crabby," Lucas weighed in as the twins nodded in unison.

Ryder rested his elbow on the door and grumbled, "Can you take me to soccer, please?"

Moving her chin to the left and glancing at Ryder through the right side of her eyes, Amelia quietly answered, "Sure."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Meanwhile at the hospital, Owen was gathered with the new interns and their residents. The interns had just completed their first rotation and two months on the job. Still incompetent, but now humbled, the interns were about to experience a new attending and a new surgical department. The resident who oversaw their small group would rotate with them.

After Owen explained the process, he began to describe the different doctors and departments. "You'll be assigned to one of the following seven departments: trauma, ortho, neuro, cardio, peds, general or plastics. Now, listen up because this is where someone becomes confused every single year. Even if you are assigned to ortho, neuro, cardio, plastics, or peds, you _will_ still find yourself in various general or trauma surgeries. Take your cue from your resident or, in their absence, from your attending. There will be days that you may be in the ER all day. Other days may be spent watching nothing but lap-colis from the gallery. Just because you are assigned to a specialty does _not_ mean that will be all you will study during this rotation. We are also trying something new during this rotation. The Planned Parenthood down the street is between medical directors and our board offered to occasionally send over some of our medical staff. You won't be performing or observing surgery when you are there; you'll be seeing patients, providing basic gynecological care and learning about non-profit medicine. Is everyone clear?"

The scared interns nodded dutifully, while the residents appeared indifferent. Even as he witnessed them doing so, Owen knew at least one or two of them would end up confused about the arrangement. Internally, he sighed as he anticipated their questions.

With everyone's eyes locked on him, Owen continued, "I'll call your assignments by resident. If you were with Mills for the past two months, for example, you will be with her for the next two." Reaching in to his pocket because his phone vibrated, Owen grabbed it and glanced at a text from Amelia, _Call when you can talk. And make sure you don't give me loser interns._ Involuntarily, he smiled. When he looked up from his clipboard, the stern chief was back in character.

"Johnson - General, Mills - Plastics, Tracey - Ortho, Gallard - Cardio, Myers - Peds, rotating - Trauma, Bye this round – Neuro," Owen called out. "Is everyone clear where they are headed and who they are observing?" His phone vibrated again, he glanced and saw that Nolan had sent a text. Just as he was about to excuse himself, Tracey and Myers approached him.

Professionally but not with a warm and welcoming tone, Owen inquired, "Yes?"

"Sir," Tracey began, "My deep passion is peds and I haven't been on that service for over six months. Myers here has the same dynamic with ortho. It'll work if we swap, won't it?"

With a tired sigh, Owen bore his eyes into the residents before responding. "You're third year residents. Specialties aren't declared until your fifth year. Believe it or not, you may find yourself in a surprising department by choice as your fourth year comes to a close."

"Right," Myers nodded with a grin, "but we'd like to swap for this particular rotation. Or maybe I could move to neuro?"

"I'm sorry, neuro is not an option this round and swapping is not possible," Owen stared and shared.

"Not possible or not allowed?" Tracey pushed.

With a slight chuckle and a shake of his head, Owen commentated, "You sound like my 13 year old son trying to negotiate his way out of doing the dishes. Call it not possible, call it not allowed, or call it you're beginning to get on my nerves, Tracey. I don't care how you describe it. You are on ortho with Torres. Myers, you're in peds with Karev. Are we clear?" Owen asked as his eyes peered out from the top of his eye sockets.

"Well, Sir, with all due respect…" Tracey continued.

Interrupting, Myers pulled her friend by the arm and answered, "Absolutely, Chief. Thank you for hearing us out nonetheless."


	4. Chapter 4 - I've Got Your Back - Maybe

**Chapter 4**

 **A Pivotal Year – I've Got Your Back…maybe**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **September 7**

After school, Amelia dropped Ryder off at soccer, picked up Olivia, and treated her passengers to ice cream. Meanwhile, Lissa, Linnea and Piper gathered nervously in Lissa's bathroom waiting for the longest three minutes of their lives to pass. When Lissa's phone rang and she saw that Nolan was calling, she excused herself. With conflicting schedules, they'd been trading calls all day long.

"Hey," Nolan greeted happily, "I can finally hear your voice live, Shorty."

"I only have a second, then I'll have to call you back," Lissa explained.

"Why?" Nolan protested.

With a long sigh, Lissa whispered, "Because Linnea's here and thinks she's pregnant."

"Holy shit," Nolan gasped as he ran a hand through his hair and widened his eyes.

Piper popped her head through the door, "Lissa…"

"Nolan, I need to go," Lissa shared. "I'll call you in about an hour?"

"An hour. We'll talk then. Love you, Blondie," Nolan concluded. He snapped a picture of a nearby palm tree and sent it to Lissa with a message that said, _I'll be waiting right here for your call. Rotten weather today. Only 80 degrees._

Lissa walked into her room, "So?"

"We haven't looked yet," Piper explained. "She's out on the balcony."

"Don't leave her out there alone, Piper," Lissa warned, unable to specifically name her fear that Linnea might jump. "Bring her in here." Piper encouraged Linnea to come inside, and Linnea sat on Piper's bed breathing slowly.

"Ready?" Lissa asked with a sad expression.

Linnea nodded, walked into the bathroom, and examined the results. She peered into the bedroom, shook her head and smiled widely. Pragmatically, she questioned, "So why am I late?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Later, after Linnea and Piper had returned home and as the Shepherd-Hunt family gathered around the dinner table, Owen pinched the bridge of his nose. After a day of listening to residents begging for different assignments and answering questions about the new rotations, he had a raging headache. Usually, Owen was the one to set a happy tone at the table. On this particular night, a worn out Amelia attempted to fill in for her husband.

"Let's share highs and lows," she chirped with a smile. "I want to hear about school. Livie? Can you start?"

"My first day," Olivia sang with joy as she waved her arms, "was absolutely the best. We're starting a choir this year and I'm auditioning for a play."

"Fantastic!" Amelia exclaimed as Owen massaged his temples and as Lissa slouched in her chair.

The twins volunteered to go next, followed by Lucas. Their reports were nearly verbatim to the ones shared earlier in the Enclave. Owen took a bite of food right as Amelia called on him. Obviously in a terrible mood, he regarded his wife with a sarcastic glance and used his best fake happy voice, "Hmm… a high? I spent the day with the most promising future surgeons in the country."

Flatly, Amelia challenged, "And that was a high, was it?"

"Oh, yes," Owen stated with a grumpy grin and narrowed eyes. Amelia kicked him under the table as she turned to Ryder and Lissa, "Who's next?"

"My high is that I made it through the day without a referral," Ryder pointed out facetiously.

"What's a fur-ru-al?" Lucas asked Owen.

"Something you are not going to aspire to receive," Owen grumbled as Lucas cocked his head, still confused.

"A referral is like a time out at school for older kids," Lissa explained.

"Ohhh… so, you're happy you didn't get in trouble all day?" Lucas inquired.

"Yup," Ryder responded with a mouth full of food.

"Ryder, I opened that envelope you gave me," Amelia stated. Still disgruntled over whatever else had happened that day, Ryder looked at Amelia flatly. She continued with glee, "Miss Donnington wants to recommend you for some great opportunities at the US Naval Academy."

"Get out," Ryder sputtered as he dropped his chin toward the ground.

"Seriously. There's a science and engineering camp and also a number of sports camps next summer. Her letter stated these might help you when you apply for the Academy," Amelia smiled.

"Ryder Blake," Owen grinned with pride, "excellent job. There's my new high for the day."

"Mine too," Ryder smiled as he ran his hands over his head. "I thought Don Bomb hated me."

"Don Bomb?" Amelia inquired.

Ryder shrugged and offered a charm-filled smile, "It's our pet name for her."

"Hmm, may want to rethink that," Owen winked with a grin.

Lissa's phone, hidden in her lap, sounded. As she grimaced and reached down to grab her phone, Owen growled, "Don't you dare, Larissa Lorraine."

 _Damn,_ Amelia thought _, I was hoping his mood had shifted when he heard the news about Ryder. Owen… please… take a deep breath. Stop being a crabby ass._

With puppy dog eyes, she begged, "It's Nolan. We've been trading calls all day."

"Where does your phone belong during dinner, Larissa?" Owen stated firmly.

"Dads," Lissa protested as Owen extended his hand.

"Go upstairs, now," Owen ordered as he looked at Lissa. He stood up, walked to the kitchen and answered the phone, "Nolan, you of all people know we're eating dinner."

"Yeah, sorry, Dad," Nolan responded. "I have a study group tonight and this is the only time I can connect. Can I speak with Lissa?"

"Nope," Owen sighed. "Want me to pass along a message?"

"Tell her I'll call her tomorrow during her morning break," Nolan requested.

"That may be challenging since I'll have her phone the rest of the week," Owen shrugged.

"Holy hell, Dad. Give me a break. Something really big is happening and she and I need to talk about it _now,_ " Nolan fought.

"Good to hear your voice, son. Take care," Owen said as he hung up the phone, turned it off, and put it in his pocket. He looked at Ryder and warned, "If you loan her your phone tonight, your phone is mine."

"Dude," Ryder responded with his hands by his ears, "I'm just sitting here eating dinner, celebrating a referral-free day, and dreaming about the beginning of my Naval career."

"Owen," Amelia begged as she glanced at Owen's chair. "Come eat, O. Come join us."

He walked over, kissed Amelia on the cheek and grumbled, "I've got a raging headache. I'm going to talk to Liss and then lie down. Come get me later and I'll help with bedtime."

Ria looked at Amelia and shared, "Mama, I don't want a cell phone ever. Anyone with a cell phone just gets in trouble more." Amelia smiled warmly and stroked Ria's hair.

Knocking on Lissa's door, Owen called her name, "Larissa?"

"Come in," Lissa stated flatly. She was sitting on her bed against a pile of pillows with her knees bent. Appearing to be working on homework, she was actually using her iPod to instant message with Nolan and Linnea. Her unorthodox work style drove Owen to the brink and only caused him to come closer to boiling over.

"You know the rules about phones at the table. Besides, you're the oldest. The other kids look to you to set an example," Owen admonished.

"I apologize. I didn't think you'd mind if it was Nolan," Lissa explained, internally groaning about the setting an example language.

"Maybe… just maybe, if you'd talked to me before dinner, we could have worked something out," Owen sighed. "But it seems like you snuck it to the table, and I have no patience for that."

"Ok," Lissa responded, hoping Owen would stop talking and leave.

Surprised Lissa didn't continue to argue, Owen pulled his lips inside his mouth before pointing out, "The phone is mine until Sunday night after dinner."

"Ok," Lissa repeated, preoccupied with worry about Linnea. "Can I use the house phone?"

"Not tonight," Owen declared.

"Ok," Lissa sounded once again. She was determined to not let Owen see her become upset.

Digging his fingers into his temples, Owen fixed his best angry gaze on Lissa. "And I'm changing the wireless password in just a few minutes. Do you have a burner phone?" Owen had learned the kids' tricks over the years. Between Nolan, Lissa, and Ryder, they usually shared the cost of a backup throwaway phone in case one of them found themselves in trouble.

"Nope," Lissa lied directly to Owen's face.

"Go back downstairs and help with dishes and clean up," he ordered.

"Ok," she answered as she walked by Owen and headed to the kitchen.

When she approached the sink and began to assist Olivia, Amelia asked from the table, "Everything ok, Lissa?"

"Yep," Lissa quipped as her dam of tears began to crack.

Amelia walked over and put her arm around Lissa, "Sure?"

A couple tears fell down Lissa's cheek as she predicted, "I can't talk about it and you'll just take his side anyway." Extending her hand, Lissa grasped the pan Olivia had just rinsed.

"Come sit," Amelia strongly encouraged as she walked to the couch. Lissa followed her and sat beside her. Amelia continued, "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Lissa lied.

"I'm not buying it. Something's up," Amelia disclosed.

With a few more tears streaming down her cheeks, Lissa whispered, "One of my friends is going through something tough. Nolan knows about it but I haven't been able to share the latest news – we kept missing each other's calls all day. And I promised my friend that I'd go see her after dinner."

"And now you're out of luck," Amelia observed.

"Unless you can make an exception," Lissa suggested with hope.

"Not happening, my dear," Amelia grinned.

"See? I told you that you'd just take his side anyway," Lissa passed along.

Amelia grimaced and brushed Lissa's hair behind her ear. With honest compassion, she shared, "Lissa, it's not about sides."

"Sure. Whatever, Amma," Lissa groaned.

Moving her lips toward the side of her face, Amelia observed honestly, "Sometimes it sucks being 17, doesn't it?"

"Amma, please. Just leave me alone," Lissa eeked out.

"Will do. Keep an eye on the kids for me? I'm going to check on Owen," Amelia asked.

She quietly entered the bedroom and slid her hand under his untucked shirt. With a sultry voice, Amelia whispered, "Feel any better, Handsome?"

"Now my back does," he chuckled. "My head is still pounding unfortunately."

"Want something for it?" she inquired.

"You?" Owen teased.

"As soon as the kids are in bed, you've got it," she promised.

"You like them more than me, don't you? They're your favorites," Owen joked with a fake whine.

Laughing, Amelia coaxed Owen to turn onto his back and straddled him. Loosening his already loosened tie, she pulled it over his head and playfully put it in her mouth. She unbuttoned his shirt slowly with a grin and pulled it away from his chest. He leaned up just enough to slip his arms out of the sleeves and set the shirt beside him as Amelia flung the tie on top of it.

Owen reached his hands up toward Amelia's waist and pulled her onto his chest. She quickly raised and lowered her eyebrows before grasping each of his hands in hers. "These go up here," Amelia ordered as she moved his hands onto the bed and above his shoulders.

As she held his wrists, Owen growled with delight, "Someone's feeling frisky."

From outside the door that stood ajar, their moment of potential bliss was interrupted. "Mommmmmyyyyyy! Anna won't let Lucas play with us and I told her she should and she called me a dummy head," Ria called out. Her voice became clearer and stronger the closer she came to the Master Bedroom.

"She's lying," Anna protested from down the hall, "She's a liar, liar, pants on fire!"

"Ria's telling the truth, Mama," Lucas reported from the top stair. "Anna hates me tonight, just like always."

With a huge sigh, Amelia stood up and Owen rolled to his stomach with a grumble. After playfully patting his butt, Amelia whispered, "Later."

"Yeah… sure," Owen pouted.

The trio of littles entered the room and Amelia put her finger to her mouth before whispering, "Daddy's sleeping. Let's go to the twins' room and sort this out."

Sitting on the floor in the middle of the twins' room, Amelia shushed the kids and requested, "Lucas, tell me what happened first."

"It was after dinner and I wiped off the table like I'm 'posed to then I put the rag in the sink and dried off my hands," he began as Amelia worried the description would take all night. "I asked Ryder if he'd play a game with me and he used his crabby, angry voice to tell me to do something else. I walked to the playroom and asked Ria if I could play with them and she said yes but then Anna said no."

"Where was Lissa?" Amelia inquired.

"On the phone in the kitchen," Lucas reported.

"Hmm," Amelia noted with frustration, "Ria, what happened next?"

"I tolded Anna it wasn't nice to leave Lucas out and I said he could play with us. Then Anna told Lucas that I was her twin, not his, and that she was oldest so she got to decide," Ria embellished.

"I did not say that," Anna argued.

"What did you say, Annabelle?" Amelia asked.

"I said we were playing a girl game and Lucas wouldn't like it," Anna confessed.

Amelia glanced at Ria and Lucas and sought to confirm Anna's story, "Is that what she said?" Both kids nodded. "Did she say anything about being the oldest and getting to decide? Or did she call anyone names?"

"No," Lucas admitted as he left his ally without an alibi.

"Miss Victoria," Amelia uttered sternly, "You told me Anna said words that she didn't say."

"The fight happened fast. That's what I think happened," Ria squirmed.

"What do the three of you think we should do about all this?" Amelia inquired.

"I think it's all stupid and we should just play," Lucas offered.

"Me too," Anna softened. "We can play animal shelter instead of nail salon, Ree Ree."

"Okay," Ria grumbled with hesitation.

"You could even bring Barkley and Bogie inside and brush them," Amelia suggested, thankful the loyal dogs might get some attention. The three littles ran downstairs to fetch the dogs and Amelia followed behind them.

She heard Lissa whisper, "I gotta go, Mom's coming."

"Who was on the phone? I didn't hear it ring," Amelia asked casually as she sorted the mail.

"Nobody," Lissa stated as Ryder simultaneously responded, "Nolan."

"Oh. Did you call him, Ry?" Amelia prodded.

With her back to Amelia, Lissa widened her eyes and begged Ryder nonverbally to cover for her.

"Yeah, I couldn't find his old shin guards and mine are too small," he shrugged.

Not sure if she should believe him or not, Amelia quickly processed the situation in her head. Regardless of who called Nolan, Lissa had been talking to him and using the phone. "Liss? You talked to Nolan, too?" Amelia sought to confirm.

"Just to say 'hi' really quick, that's it," Lissa fidgeted.

"And that was just now, before you hung up?" Amelia set the trap.

"Right," Lissa smiled.

"Then why did the littles tell me you were on the phone when Lucas was wiping down the table and then when he was trying to play with the twins?" Amelia asked with curiosity.

Lissa shrugged as Ryder intervened, "Because they don't live in reality, Mom. I was on the phone then. Lissa was taking the garbage out."

As the dogs bounded into the house with joy, Anna overheard Ryder and clarified, "Nuh uh, you took the garbage out tonight, Ryder."

With a sigh, Amelia glanced at Lissa and questioned, "Do you want me to keep asking questions until someone trips up and the truth is revealed or do you want to simply admit you lied to me?" Turning to Ryder, Amelia added, "Same for you, Ry."

Lissa's eyes locked on the ceiling as she blinked repeatedly and begged, "Amma, I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you admit the truth from the beginning instead of lying?" Amelia pushed.

"I dunno. I thought you'd be angry," Lissa offered.

"Now, I'm angrier and I feel like I can't trust you, Lissa," Amelia declared. "I'm also disappointed because I asked you to watch the kids and you didn't."

The drama mounted as Lissa forced tears and declared, "You just want to see me suffer, don't you? And be your free babysitter. I'm old enough to know what to do and what decisions to make. Stop treating me like a baby."

Ryder set his head on the table, knowing the drama would only infuriate Amelia. Raising his head back up, he decided to intervene. Hoping Lissa would follow his lead, Ryder explained, "Mom, you're right. We both lied and it was out of line. I apologize for lying. I know better."

Amelia informed Ryder, "Looks like you'll miss soccer practice tomorrow."

"C'mon!" Ryder protested, falling into Lissa's earlier example and forgetting to follow his own. "If I miss practice, the Coach will cut the minutes I play on Saturday."

Amelia swerved one side of her mouth upward and nodded. Ryder stormed up the stairs as Amelia reviewed, "Now, Liss, your lies were more complex."

"Whatever, Amma. How about we make this easy and you just ground me until I'm 18? Then you won't have to deal with me for the next four months," Lissa pouted.

"I'm waiting to decide what to do, Larissa. I'll talk to Dad and we'll all sit down together tomorrow. In the meantime, no electronics, no contact with anyone outside the house, and no leaving the house without permission," Amelia declared.

"Figures," Lissa protested as she stomped up the stairs. As she ascended, she called out dramatically, "You relish in making my life hell, don't you? It's all just entertainment to you. I hate living here."

Ignoring Lissa's rant, Amelia poured herself a glass of water and leaned against the counter. As she drank it, Olivia peered down from the landing and pointed out, "Umm… Mommy? Did you know that the littles have the dogs in the bathtub?"

 _Have kids, they said. It'll be the best time of your life, they said. If I ever meet 'they,' I've got a few choice words to share,_ Amelia thought to herself as she headed to the bathroom to deal with two wet retrievers.


	5. Chapter 5 - Flowing Water

**Chapter 5**

 **A Pivotal Year – Flowing Water**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **September 7**

As she walked down the upstairs hallway toward the bathroom and heard the delightful sound of three young children giggling, Amelia's stepped slowed. Some mothers would have paused to revel in the sounds of laughter. Others might have decreased speed in an effort to discern the goings on behind the bathroom door. In Amelia's case, however, her change of pace arose as her bare feet began to sink into the wet hallway carpet outside the bathroom. Its resemblance to a shallow, sticky lake bed increased as she approached Lucas, Annabelle, Victoria, Barkley, and Bogey. Out of shock and in an effort to maintain a calm demeanor, Amelia's pace mimicked a turtle's as her mind raced like a rabbit.

The giggling had reached epic proportions by the time Amelia softly knocked on the door and opened it to discover three naked children and two golden retrievers all covered with bubble bath, soap, and shampoo. Knowing better than to take a bath unsupervised, the children all stood outside the overflowing tub while the dogs stood in the water and shook their wet coats. How nobody had slipped and fallen on the tile floor that was covered in water was a mystery.

Blinking repeatedly as she soaked in the wet reality, Amelia couldn't help but laugh at the chaos before her. She quickly noted that becoming angry would only expend the much-needed energy that cleaning up the mess would demand. Clearing her throat, Amelia raised her eyebrows and widened her eyes as she quipped, "This is the silliest dog shelter I've ever seen."

"Mommy," Lucas guffawed, barely able to speak, "Barkley sneezes every time we try to put this shampoo on her. Watch!" As the overly-scented strawberry shampoo neared the dog, she sneezed playfully and slapped her paw down into the water causing splashing and chortling.

"Look at that," Amelia mused slowly. "Maybe we should put all the shampoo and bubbles away… if there's any left, that is."

Ever the detail-oriented of the three, Annabelle turned a bottle of bubble bath upside down and shrugged with a grin, "Looks like this one is all gone. Ree Ree, what about your bottle?"

Waving her hand forward toward her twin, Victoria shook her head and explained, "It's been empty for a long time."

"Umm…guys?" Amelia interrupted gently as she gritted her teeth and widened her lips, "Now might be the time to start cleaning up."

"But, Mommy, we're having so much fun!" Victoria expressed.

"I can see that," the shocked Mommy replied. Leaning down toward her children, she whispered, "I'm not sure how funny this would be if Daddy woke up and saw it. It's kind of messy."

Ryder, coming down the hall to use the bathroom, exclaimed loudly to nobody in particular, "What the hell?! Why is the carpet so soaked?"

Still naked and dripping wet, Lucas popped out from the bathroom and grinned, "We're playing dog shelter."

"I think the next game you'll be playing is called Jail," Ryder chuckled to himself. "You guys are so busted."

"Nuh uh," Lucas declared with his hands firmly on his hips. "Mommy already knows. She's in here with us."

Not believing his little brother, Ryder proceeded into the bathroom and discovered a smiling Amelia. "You're not flipping out about this?" Ryder asked in shock. "Have you even begun to consider how close to death I would have been if I'd ever done this?"

"What're you gonna do?" Amelia shrugged as she pursed her lips and flashed her blue eyes at Ryder. "Can you help me out?"

"I didn't make the mess. The three amigos need to clean it up," Ryder protested.

"Mia?" Owen called out from the Master Bedroom. "Sounds like bath time. Need a hand?"

"No, no, not necessary, O," Amelia quickly responded. "You rest. Just lie back in bed and… stay there. I mean, and kick back."

"Now _you_ are gonna be in trouble with Dad," Ryder teased.

After throwing a dripping wet towel in his direction, Amelia smiled and ordered, "Grab a bunch of dry towels and bring them here, please."

"I'm not sure we have enough towels in all of Seattle for this," Ryder mused.

Running down the hall naked, Lucas volunteered loudly, "I'll grab the towels, Mama!"

In his bed, Owen cocked his head and looked up from the magazine he was reading. He thought, _Why in the world would Amelia need towels? Never in a million years would she have popped the kids in the bath before setting out everything she would need. That'd be like beginning a surgery without a full surgical tray and the brain surgeon in her would've never forgotten towels._ Shrugging, he returned to the article and continued to heed her urging that he relax.

Holding so many towels in his little arms that he could barely see his path, Lucas returned to the bathroom. He let the towels fall onto the wet floor as he proudly announced, "Here you go, Mama!"

With a split second to either react with exasperation or with laughter, Amelia chose the latter and burst into hysterics as she embraced Lucas and tickled him. "Lukie! I love you, you adorable monkey," she laughed. His giggles filled the house as the twins joined into the action and began tickling their mommy who involuntarily fell backward and landed in the tile-bottomed Hunt. Barkley, sensing playtime, jumped from the tub and barked as she shook and further drenched the bathroom. The kids, even teenaged Ryder, laughed uncontrollably at the chaos.

Laughing between her words, Amelia inquired, "Ry, do you think you could get the dogs downstairs?"

Nodding his head and smiling, Ryder assumed the task. Amelia added, "Are they too heavy to carry? I don't want wet paw prints marking their route."

"Maybe I could put them in Lissa's bathroom for now and then dry them off," Ryder suggested. "I can carry them that far." He leaned down and scooped 60 pound Barkley into his arms. Feebly, Amelia attempted to dry off Barkley's dripping fur before Ryder carried the dog out of the room.

Gently kicking Lissa's door with his foot, Ryder said, "Liss, I need to put Barks in your bathroom for a minute. Open the door."

With great drama, Lissa sighed and rolled her eyes. Still stewing about her interchange with Amelia, Lissa stomped to the door and opened it with a not-so-gentle, "What?!"

Without explanation, Ryder proceeded inside Lissa's bedroom and walked to the bathroom. He set Barkley down, closed the door, and informed Lissa, "I'll be right back." Returning less than a minute later with 70 pound Bogey in his arms, Ryder repeated his trek to the bathroom, shut the door, and flopped onto Lissa's bed.

"Get off!" Lissa screamed, "You're wet. What are you doing in here anyway? Who said you could put those two dripping mutts in my bathroom?"

Overhearing the screaming but unable to discern the specific words, Owen dropped his head backward onto his pillows and closed his eyes as he exhaled loudly. He'd be surprised if he survived parenting Lissa until she left for college. The constant drama and mood swings exhausted and perplexed him to the nth degree. For whatever reason, Owen determined he was not going to intervene on this occasion. He listened to Ryder and Lissa yell back and forth as he covered his face with his hands. _Really_ , he thought to himself, _what I'd like to do is lock her in her bedroom until next autumn. I finally understand all the fairy tales about princesses locked in towers. Those poor, desperate fathers._

Lost in his identification with the plight of fairy tale kings, Owen was shaken from his imagination by the ringing of the house phone. He answered, "Shepherd Hunt residence."

"Dr. Hunt, this is Dr. Gallard. I'm so sorry to call your home," a desperate resident explained.

"That's no problem. What's the matter?" Owen inquired as he shifted into doctor mode.

"We've been trying to reach Dr. Shepherd on her cell. Dr. Pierce asked me to keep an eye on Dr. Shepherd's patients, and Mr. Rollins is reacting to the antibiotic she prescribed. We've tried two alternatives, but his reaction seems to be intensifying," the young doctor described with a hint of panic in her voice.

Without knowing the history of Amelia's patient, but armed with trauma knowledge, Owen asked a basic question as he stood up to take the phone to Amelia. "How did the patient respond to the initial dose of diphenhydramine?"

Walking toward the bathroom of laughter and confused by the wet carpet, Owen paused in shock as his fully clothed wife sat in a puddle as she dried off the littles. Ria, patiently awaiting her turn, stood a few steps away from Amelia. She had a giant towel wrapped around her as she shivered. The walls dripped with soapy water and Lucas slid back and forth in the now-empty tub.

Clearing his throat and smirking with raised eyebrows, Owen sputtered, "Umm… Gallard for you. She's been trying your cell."

With a wide smile, Amelia coyly commanded, "Don't. React." Owen grimaced as he surveyed the room and the scene. He scratched his forehead and further widened his eyes as he eventually locked his gaze on his wife.

Before answering the phone call, Amelia picked Anna up and set her on the other side of the doorway. She patted her bottom and instructed softly, "Go grab fresh clothes, Mermaid." With a grin, she grasped the phone and put her hand over the mouthpiece. She emphasized with a mixture of joy and seriousness, "Do not lose your cool. Either step away or join in, but don't sour the mood, Owen."

"Uh… okay," Owen responded as he began to run his hand through his hair and stopped before reaching the back of his head. "Whaaa? What's? Umm…"

"Don't ask, Dad," Ryder suggested as he handed him a dry towel.

With utter concern, Amelia's demeanor changed abruptly as she inquired about her patient's situation and grilled the resident for details. "You haven't given _any_ diphenhydramine?! Isn't that basic first aid, Gallard? Administer an initial IV dose of 100mg. Do _not_ infuse faster than 15mg/minute. Call me in seven minutes with an update on the patient's response. And pull all antibiotics until the situation is under control… not that I should have to tell you to do that."

As Amelia barked at the resident, Ria leaned back and carefully witnessed her mommy's rant. When Owen noticed Ria's fear, he bent down and dried off his daughter as he assured her not to worry about Mommy's mood. After sending Ria to get dressed, Owen turned to Lucas and attempted to grab the slippery preschooler. Not making it easy, Lucas continued to slide back and forth in the tub in an attempt to avoid his daddy's grasp.

When Amelia hung up the phone, she rolled her eyes and snapped softly, "I thought I requested no duds on this rotation?" Without removing her eyes from Owen, she picked up Lucas seemingly without effort and wrapped him in a towel.

Responding by lowering his chin and glancing up at his wife, Owen waved his arm around the room and pointed out with a chuckle, "Are we really going to nitpick each other's decision making abilities right now?" He concluded with a sultry smile in an attempt to lighten Amelia's resident-induced frustration.

After handing Lucas to Ryder, Amelia wrapped her arms around Owen and giggled mightily as she drenched him by wringing a wet towel over his head.

"Oh… you are so adorable," Owen growled with delight as he scooped up his wife.

With a fit of giggles, Amelia kicked her legs and attempted to push herself away from Owen's chest as he carried her into their bedroom and threw her onto the bed. Before she had a chance to move, he was on top of her and ferociously tickling her. "Stop!" Amelia screamed and laughed simultaneously.

When the phone rang, Lissa threw open her door and bellowed, "Is somebody going to answer that?!"

"You are," Owen called back. "Phone is in the hall bath."

With an audible grumble, Lissa stormed down the hall and commented on the mess before answering the phone abruptly.

"Amma? It's the hospital," Lissa called out as Owen continued to tickle his wife causing her to giggle and twist.

"In here," Amelia barely uttered between giggles.

Lissa entered the Master Bedroom and exclaimed, "Oh, really?! Get off her, Dad. You two are so gross." Covering her eyes for effect, Lissa held the phone out for Amelia and hightailed it out the door.

"Now stop it, I have to eat a resident for dinner," Amelia warned her husband playfully as he stopped, resumed, stopped, and then poked her with his fingers. Like an incorrigible older brother or an overly-smitten young boyfriend, Owen couldn't keep his hands off her.

"What's the status, Gallard?" Amelia barked as she slapped Owen's hands away and looked at him with a playful grin. As Amelia listened, Owen pulled her pants down and started kissing her legs from foot to hip. With widened eyes and raised eyebrows, Amelia attempted to communicate that she'd prefer Owen halt his hijinks. When he ignored her non-verbal pleas, Amelia gently grasped his hair and pretended to pull it.

"Good. Who's on site right now?" Amelia inquired. When she found out that Karev was present, she felt comfortable providing initial instructions and entrusting Alex to deal with the situation. "Wonderful," she continued as Owen attempted to pull Amelia's shirt over her head. "Check for blurred vision every half an hour for the next three hours, watch for heart palpitations, and bring Karev in as soon as possible to oversee further treatment."

Amelia hung up the call and placed the phone on the charger. Looking at Owen, she shook her head and tapped his nose with her finger, stating, "You are rotten."

"That's why you love me," Owen winked as he rolled onto his side and smiled softly. "Now do you mind telling me what was going on in the bathroom?"

Placing her lips together and moving them to the side, Amelia gazed toward the ceiling and toyed with her husband, "Mmm… maybe."

Chuckling, Owen attempted to clarify, "Maybe you mind telling me or maybe you'll tell me?"

Standing up slowly, Amelia peered over her shoulder and removed her bra as she walked to the bathroom. "Follow me," she invited, "and we'll see." Jumping up, Owen followed her as he left a trail of clothes strewn from the bed to the shower.

As she waited for the water to warm, Amelia strutted past Owen, grasped one of his hands, and locked the door. She pulled him against her as she leaned against the wall so their two naked bodies met. Feeling the warmth of his sculpted body, Amelia ran her cheek on top of his chest and hummed with pleasure. Owen groaned with a sound that seemed to be a mixture of a chuckle and a sign of arousal. His hands slid along the sides of Amelia's torso and landed over her ass, pulling her even closer to his body.

The two kissed passionately. In between kisses, Owen wondered, "So are you going to tell me what was going on?"

Responding with a sultry voice, Amelia inquired, "You are holding my naked body against your naked body and _that's_ what you're thinking about?" She ran her finger from his lips to his genitals, grasping him firmly when she reached the lower destination.

"Not any more," Owen murmured as his eyes flitted.

"I'll bet the water's warm," Amelia whispered.

"Mmm Hmm," Owen groaned as she removed her hand and stroked his arm as she walked toward the shower.

Just as they were about to step under the flowing water, a little knock came from the bathroom door. "Daddy? Mommy?" Ria called out. "Where'd you guys go?"

"Daddy's taking a shower, honey," Owen called out.

"Where's Mama?" Lucas asked as he held Ria's hand on the other side of the door.

"Why don't you two go see what Ryder or Olivia are up to?" Owen suggested as he ignored Lucas' question. "Maybe they'll play a game with you."

"I'll play a game with you," Amelia teased as she caressed Owen's chest with soapy hands.

"Oh yeah?" Owen chuckled as he began kissing her breasts.

He worked his way downward and was soon kneeling between Amelia's legs as she nearly hyperventilated in response to his touch. She willed herself to stand as long as she was able, electrified by his searching tongue and tender lips. Finally succumbing to the weakness in her legs, she slowly slid down toward the shower floor. Owen sat down, navigating her body onto his erection as the two groaned with pleasure. Smothering her hair in his large hands, he firmly brought her face to his as they joined their lips and held one another in an extended embrace.

The large shower provided enough room for Owen to sprawl out on the floor as he remained inside Amelia. "Is that comfortable?" Amelia giggled as she realized he was lying on tile.

"You're comfortable. You're spectacular. You're… oh man, you feel so amazing. That's all that matters," Owen muttered with delight as his eyes closed and his mouth smiled.

Grimacing, Amelia admitted, "Well, I hate to tell you this, but the tile hurts my knees."

Slowly sitting up as he wrapped his hands around Amelia's waist, Owen growled, "Then we'll have to figure out another position." He gently grasped her knees and nudged them toward her chest, leaving her feet flat on the shower floor. She inhaled with delight and squeaked ever so slightly as pleasure washed over and within her body.

Breathing deeply and blinking to clear the post-orgasm fog, she giggled, "Now your ass is going to hurt from sitting on the tile."

With a playful shrug, Owen insisted, "Let me worry about that." He opened his mouth widely and filled it with her breast as they continued to make love. Moving from one breast to the other as Amelia rode him with intensity, Owen groaned as his face contorted in anticipation. Unaware of his volume, he grunted and groaned repeatedly as Amelia whispered nasty words in his ear and brought him to full climax. Collapsing onto her husband as the hot water began to run out, Amelia moaned in delight as Owen's arms wrapped tightly around her tiny body.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Ryder scooped up ice cream for the littles as he broke the rules by popping in a DVD.

"Did you hear that?" Ria asked as she heard a distant moan and cocked her head.

"Nope. Didn't hear a thing," Ryder lied, wishing he was telling the truth.


	6. Chapter 6 - Birth Control & Self-Control

**Chapter 6**

 **A Pivotal Year – Birth Control and Self-Control**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **Autumn**

 **September 20**

When he arrived at work after dropping off the kids at school, Owen blew out a huge breath of air. His turn to supervise and accompany a group of interns at Planned Parenthood had come. In a way, the change of pace would be refreshing. However, he found himself feeling sorry for any of the patients who were about to have an inexperienced student examine them.

Since the building was nearby, the group met in the main lobby of the hospital with the intention of walking over together. While Owen waited for the students, he sent a text to Amelia that read, _Lissa pleasant but still not speaking this morning. Almost makes me laugh. She's hating being dropped off at school instead of driving. Good call on taking her car away after she lied about talking to Nolan on the house phone – seems to be working._

Amelia, just about to scrub, read Owen's text and quickly typed, _More drama is coming. She'll be free tomorrow. Who knows what's next._ _Remember that I'm in surgery until at least 5. You have pick up today._

"Crap," Owen mumbled under his breath. "I'm with the interns until 7." He called Lynne and asked if she could pick the kids up from school and handle dinner. As always, she obliged and insisted it was no problem. The days of detailed childcare schedules and intentional pre-planning had been replaced by seat-of-their-pants chaos and juggling.

Once the interns had gathered, Owen reviewed the protocols for the day and reminded the young doctors that their primary assignment was to observe. Most of their tasks would be similar to what an OB/GYN office might experience on a given day. The group departed GSMH and made small talk as they walked.

When they arrived at the site, one of the medical assistants gave them a tour of the facility. Owen explained that he and a staff doctor would handle most of the intake cases. Two other doctors, both obstetricians, would each have a student with them as they provided prenatal exams. One student would sit at the desk with the receptionist and learn the nuances of how patients were triaged and how appointments were managed, and another student would shadow a medical assistant. The last station involved observing therapy sessions. By the end of the day, the students would experience four of the six rotations.

Later in the day, as the third rotation began, Owen invited his intern, Monica Taylor, to follow him. Taylor was a promising student and Owen was impressed with her. He offered, "Dr. Taylor, I know your work. If you would rather begin by taking the lead, I'm open to that. I could observe and evaluate your work." Taylor agreed to his offer, leaving Owen to usher in patients since the Medical Assistant was assisting both OBs.

Owen headed toward the exam rooms and stopped at the desk to find out which spaces were open. He proceeded to the front desk and grabbed a thin medical file. As he grasped the file, he inquired, "Is this the next patient?"

The receptionist nodded and whispered, "She seems terrified."

He opened the file and thumbed through the three papers in the file. He noted the name and asked, "Jane Doe 920-1?"

"She didn't want to provide her name. Today is 9-20 and she's our first Jane Doe of the day," the receptionist explained. "We get a lot of them – usually teenagers."

Taking in a deep breath, he grimaced and mumbled, "Poor kid. Anyone come in with her?" The receptionist shook her head.

As calmly as he could, Owen opened the door to the waiting room and called out, "Jane?" Reluctantly a young woman stood and smirked at Owen. Linnea noted that the doctor at the door looked familiar, but she couldn't place him. She was relieved that he didn't seem to recognize her. Although Amelia would have recognized her from the many times she had interacted with Linnea, Linnea and Owen had only met once or twice. He stopped at the scale and noted her weight. As he led her to a room, he mentioned, "I'm Dr. Hunt. With your permission, a medical student will be taking the lead today and I'll observe. It's completely up to you, though, and it's completely acceptable to decline."

Softly, Linnea meekly responded, "That's fine." She placed Owen as soon as he introduced himself – he was Nolan's dad.

They entered the room and Owen took her vitals. Dr. Taylor entered the room and introduced herself. After noting Linnea's BP, pulse, and temperature on a piece of scratch paper, Owen briefly listened to her heart. He instructed, "The bathroom is just around the corner. You can leave a urine sample and then come back in here."

Shifting uncomfortably, Linnea hesitated. Realizing suddenly that Linnea may have never provided a sample, Owen offered casually, "Let's have Dr. Taylor show you to the bathroom and explain the process." Taylor grinned and asked Linnea to follow her.

When Linnea returned to the room, Owen was sitting on the rolling stool and entering the vitals into her file. He stood up and instructed, "We need you to put on a gown. Clothes, bra, and panties need to come off, but you can leave your socks on if you'd like. The gown ties in the back. If you want another gown to cover the opening in back, just grab one from the bottom drawer and put it on the opposite way. We'll give you a few minutes to change and then we'll be back." Owen had provided those instructions over 1000 times during his career, so he had no qualms about giving them. Linnea, on the other hand, was horrified that Nolan's dad had not only just said bra and panties, but that he'd given her instructions about her own bra and panties.

Texting Nolan after she changed, she wrote, _Dude! I'm at a clinic and YOUR DAD is my doctor!_ Nolan had become her substitute advice-giver and supporter after Lissa's phone was taken away.

 _Does he recognize you?_ Nolan wrote back.

 _No. At least not yet,_ Linnea responded.

Nolan reassured his friend, _He's a great doctor. You're in good hands. Chill._

Owen and Dr. Taylor entered the room after a light knock. Dr. Taylor took the lead as Owen leaned against a countertop. She began, "I'd like to go over some of your history before we begin the exam. You're here today because you missed a period but a home pregnancy test came back negative?"

"Yep," Linnea mumbled as she looked at the wall.

Dr. Taylor went through all the standard questions about last periods, sexual activity, and previous surgeries. Linnea confessed that she'd only had sex with her boyfriend a handful of times and admitted she was scared about being at Planned Parenthood.

"I'll walk you through each step," Dr. Taylor reassured her. "There's a chance that the home test was inaccurate. Do you have a plan regarding the pregnancy if you are pregnant?"

"I haven't decided. I need to tell my boyfriend first," Linnea explained.

"Can we call him for you? For support? Maybe he could come here and be with you." Owen asked.

Linnea shook her head, "He's in college in Los Angeles. He goes to USC." Owen found the coincidence interesting, but kept the intrigue to himself.

Dr. Taylor continued, "While we wait for the test results, I'd like to perform a pelvic exam. How's that sound?"

"Uh…sure," Linnea sputtered. "I've never had one of those exams." Dr. Taylor kindly explained the details.

Linnea looked at Owen and requested, "Can you hold my hand while she does everything?" Linnea asked the question more to control what Nolan's dad would and would not see. Naïve, she had no idea she could request that he step out or that he not be on her case.

Owen was compassionate and reassuring as he coached her through the exam, and Taylor performed the exam like a well-practiced OB. Taylor palpated Linnea's uterus and was fairly certain that Linnea was not pregnant. After the exam was complete, Taylor excused herself to check on the test results and told Linnea she could get dressed. As they left Linnea alone, Owen quickly summarized his observations for Dr. Taylor in a side office.

When Taylor and Hunt returned, she sat down on a stool and looked Linnea in the eyes. She shared, "Your pregnancy test is negative. We'll order some blood tests and see if anything is off kilter. Have you been unusually stressed lately? Sometimes that can cause problems."

Then Owen stressed the importance of birth control and urged Linnea to consider various options if she planned to remain sexually active. Just heading Nolan's dad say phrases like 'sexually active' and 'intercourse' was enough to make Linnea want to cover her ears.

 **September 21**

On the day Lissa regained her freedom, she asked if Linnea and Piper could spend the night. Owen was scheduled to work overnight, and Amelia agreed without hesitation. Once Lissa mentioned casually that Owen would be working, Linnea eagerly accepted the invitation that her sister had already confirmed.

The girls came over just before six and joined the family for dinner. Gathered around the table full of kids, they enjoyed spending time with the Shepherd-Hunts. Their parents worked many hours and traveled often for work, leaving the twins on their own. Being at the Shepherd-Hunts was a welcome change of pace and a glimpse into another version of family life.

After dinner, everyone but Lissa and her friends gathered in the play room to watch a movie. The girls remained in the living room, each lying down on a section of the couch and staring up at the ceiling. After catching one another up on their lives, the pregnancy scare became the next topic.

"Are you going to tell your mom and dad?" Lissa asked.

"I haven't decided yet. I'm not pregnant, so I'm not sure I will," Linnea shared.

"Who would have thought _you'd_ be the one to get pregnant," Piper pointed out, knowing she was the more adventurous daughter. Just as Piper began to speak, Amelia walked toward the kitchen to pop more popcorn. Hearing the topic of conversation, she stopped in her tracks and listened.

"I'm not pregnant, Piper," Linnea groaned.

"What did Chris say when you told him you were late?" Lissa asked.

"He told me he wanted to marry me if I was pregnant," Linnea disclosed.

"And then what? Would you move to LA?" Lissa asked with fear.

"I guess so," Linnea shrugged.

Amelia took the pause in conversation as an opportunity to proceed to the kitchen. As she passed the couch and turned toward the cabinets, she offered, "Popcorn? I'm making some for the movie watchers and can throw in a bag for you ladies too."

"Amma…" Lissa muttered as she sat up in shock. "Umm… how long have you…" Piper and Linnea slowly sat up as well and turned toward Amelia.

Amelia interrupted and confessed, "Long enough to know that Linnea thought she might be pregnant and that Chris offered to get married. Linnea, if you want to talk about it, I'm around, ok, kiddo?"

"Thanks, Dr. Shepherd," Linnea smiled awkwardly.

"Hey," Owen bellowed happily as he came through the garage door unexpectedly. He proceeded to the kitchen, saw Amelia, and kissed her.

"I thought you were working all night," Amelia commented.

"Me too. Ends up Karev scheduled two of his residents out of spite before he realized he'd need to be there with them," Owen chuckled.

Not focusing in on the girls on the couch across the room, Owen waved and quipped, "Hello, ladies."

"Hi," they all responded. Linnea quickly slunk into the couch and lay down.

"Linns, what are you doing, we're having popcorn, remember?" Piper nudged.

"I'm good," Linnea smiled as she shot a look at her sister that conveyed angst. She traced her finger over her neck and then landed it on her lips. Piper respected the request even though it made no sense to her.

Linnea's attempt to make herself scarce back-fired as Owen approached the couch. He hugged Lissa and asked about her day, then he introduced himself to Piper admitting he knew he'd met her before but couldn't recall her name. Piper introduced herself and then added, "And that's my sister Linnea." Owen and Linnea's eyes met and Owen smirked and pretended not to know her as he re-introduced himself. Then he went upstairs to change clothes.

"Why are you acting so weird?" Piper questioned.

"Come here," Linnea urged her friend and her sister. She whispered, "Dr. Hunt was my doctor at Planned Parenthood. That was like the freakiest, weirdest moment of my life. Awkward!"

Lissa shook her head and reassured her friend, "He won't say anything about that. I think there are even laws about confidentiality."

"So he's seen your…" Piper began to ask.

"Piper! Disgusting. No!" Linnea interrupted as she hit her sister's arm. "He held my hand and talked to me while a student doctor did the exam. But still… it was almost as strange as what just happened. Anyway… enough about all that. I need some water." She stood up and went over to the fridge just before Owen came through the kitchen on his way to the play room.

"Hi," he smirked, trying to make the situation as comfortable as he could. He reached up and grabbed a glass as Linnea filled her water bottle from the fridge door.

"It's ok, Dr. Hunt. Those two know you saw me at the clinic," Linnea assured him.

Surprised, he responded, "I'm not going to say anything about that. Don't worry." After a short pause, he asked, "How are you doing?"

"Good," Linnea reported.

Owen nodded with a grin, suddenly connecting the fact that Lissa and Nolan were the same age as the girl standing before him. This could just as easily be them facing this situation. "Great. Your test results should be back soon," he offered as he patted her shoulder before concluding, "Excuse me, I'm going to head in the other room."

After the movie, as they lay in bed, Owen disclosed the revelation he'd had about Nolan and Lissa being the same age as Linnea. He opened up about his fears that Lissa could have just as easily been the one worried she was pregnant. He also told her about the party the kids had hosted in July and about how he'd handled it with the boys. They decided to discuss the party with Lissa using a similar approach. Little did they know that their plan would abruptly shift when they sat down with Lissa.

 **September 22**

After lunch and after Linnea and Piper returned home, Owen and Amelia asked Lissa if they could chat with her.

"Why don't we go somewhere private? How about Nolan's room?" Amelia suggested.

Lissa studied Owen and Amelia and inquired hesitantly, "Am I in trouble?"

Owen put his hand between her shoulders as they walked down the hallway and guided her toward Nolan's room. "Let's take this one step at a time."

"Linnea thought she was pregnant," Amelia began as her eyes peeked through the top of her eyelids.

"Yeah. Pretty crazy, isn't it?" Lissa responded.

Owen lowered his brows and rested his chin in his hand. "I happened to glance at a calendar and realize that if she'd conceived, it would have been around the time Mia and I were in Portland," Owen mused.

Looking confused, Lissa uttered, "Umm… ok."

"Who knows?" Owen pushed. "Maybe a baby could have been conceived right here in our house during the party you three hosted."

Lissa froze in shock, stunned at Owen's words and unsure how to respond. With a stilted laugh, she mumbled, "Hadn't thought of that…"

"Are you and Nolan…" Amelia interjected, bringing the conversation back to the topic she considered more paramount.

Lissa interrupted, "No."

"Really? Because we wouldn't be mad if you were sexually active," Amelia reassured her.

"I'm telling you the truth. We haven't taken that step," Lissa folded her arms and stated clearly as her stomach turned upon hearing Amelia say 'sexually active.'

"Even with the ring? And the car?" Owen inquired as he drew the words out slowly.

"No," Lissa repeated as she looked Owen directly in the eye with hostility. The volume to which Amelia and Owen minded their kids' business astounded Lissa. She felt like every time she turned around, they were bringing up some observation or question that she considered private.

"You're telling us the truth?" Amelia sought to re-confirm.

"What more can I say? We haven't had sex. Honest," Lissa insisted with exasperation. "Why?"

"Awhile back, Livie emptied all the garbage cans for me. This morning, she worked up the courage to bring me a box from a pregnancy test. She'd been wondering why it had been in your bathroom," Amelia shared as she pressed her lips tightly.

"Olivia needs to do two things: stay out of my space and mind her own business," Lissa defensively declared.

"Hmm," Owen stalled. "In other words, you thought you were pregnant and you just lied to us." He looked at Amelia and sighed, adding, "More lying, Mia. There's a pattern here."

"I'm am not lying. It wasn't mine," Lissa protested. "Linnea asked if she could take the test over here, and I told her that was fine."

"Mmm Hmm," Owen skeptically responded.

"Like I said, it's ok if you two have had sex, Lissa. We simply want to make sure you know you can come to us to talk about birth control when the time comes," Amelia offered. "Is the real issue here dishonesty?"

"What the hell?!" Lissa screamed as she threw her arms. "Why don't we just start a list of everything I've ever done wrong? The real issue here is that you're just looking for reasons to blame me for whatever damn problem you can."

"Language, Larissa," Owen growled as he ran his hands through his hair.

Uncharacteristically, Lissa refused to fall in line. She would often push the boundaries and was known for over-reacting, but even Lissa knew that some lines weren't worth crossing. At the end of her rope, she yelled, "Hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, Dads. And while we're at it, Oh f #*, here we f# &ing go again." To Owen and Amelia's absolute shock, Lissa stood up, grabbed her purse, and tore out of the room. As she flew down the stairs, she bellowed, "You relish in making my life hell, don't you? It's all just entertainment to you. I hate you!"

Ryder, who was finishing up the lunch dishes, stopped cleaning and turned around. With the water still running, he attempted to sort out what he was witnessing.

Losing his cool, Owen ran after Lissa. As she descended the stairs, Owen hollered from ten steps behind, "Larissa Lorraine, get your ass back upstairs, now!"

Lucas, who was at the table playing with Play Doh, looked up in shock as Lissa and Owen screamed at one another. He asked, "Ryder, what's ass?" Turning to his little brother quickly, Ryder put his finger to his mouth.

"Get your f*& -ing presence out of my life," Lissa shot back at Owen as she bumped into Olivia who happened to be walking through the entry. Looking Olivia in the eye with a death stare, Lissa mumbled, "Get out of my way, you little brat."

Olivia, stunned, looked at Lissa and caught sight of Owen's reddened face before glancing at Ryder with desperation and confusion. Ry motioned his sister over. By the time she walked the 10-15 steps, her bottom lip was quivering. In a miraculous disclosure of deeply buried love, Ryder reached his arm out and hugged his little sister.

Stepping slowly down the stairs with devastation covering her face, Amelia witnessed the frenzy of reactions taking place on the lower level. After Lissa snapped at Olivia, she stormed out the front door and jumped into her car.

As Owen searched for his keys, Amelia quietly whispered, "Owen. Stop."

"What?" Owen called out loudly because he hadn't been able to hear her.

"Stop," Amelia repeated softly and slowly. "Let her go. Let's deal with what's before us." Deflated, Owen put his keys on the entry table and turned around to discover five of his children all staring toward him. Ryder's face held shock and Olivia's was covered in tears. Lucas had his hands over his eyes as Ria peeked from around the corner and Anna stood with folded arms and a disgruntled expression.


	7. Chapter 7 - Relationship Wedges

**Chapter 7**

 **A Pivotal Year – Relationship Wedges**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **September 22**

While Owen and Amelia dealt with the other kids, Ryder stepped outside to call Nolan. "I've never seen her fuming like that Nolan. She yelled at Livs and cussed at Dad. It's like it wasn't her," Ryder shared with his brother shortly after Lissa had stormed off.

"Just a sec, Ry, I'm getting another call," Nolan calmly stated. The caller ID showed a picture of Lissa's happy and smiling face that Nolan had assigned to her contact information. Quickly, he shared, "It's Liss. Let Mom know I'm talking to her."

Switching lines, Nolan began flatly and without a greeting, "Tell me you are not driving."

Lissa, her words indecipherable, was bawling with gusto.

"Baby, I can't understand you. Hey… shh… shh...," Nolan attempted to soothe.

While sobbing, Lissa tried to sputter out an explanation of where she was and what was going on. Nolan still could not make out what she was hoping to communicate.

Clearly but without a sense of anger, Nolan insisted, "Lissa." A few seconds later, he repeated her name again in the same manner, adding, "Listen to me."

"What?" Lissa cried.

Nolan asked a question, afraid what he might learn, "Are you ok?"

"Yes," she began, then adding, "Well, no…kind of. I dunno."

"Are you hurt physically? Are you safe?" he tried to clarify, praying she had not been in an accident of some sort. Based upon what Ryder had shared, Lissa's fury was so hot when she left the house that a car accident was within the realm of possibility.

"I'm safe," she wept. Sniffling, she explained, "I'm at the dock where we went to dinner the night you gave me the ring."

"Okay," Nolan breathed a sigh of relief. "Ryder called me. He told me that you and Dad were fighting."

" _He_ was fighting with _me_ , Nolan," Lissa insisted as her tears resumed. "He hates me. That's all there is to it." She paused before ramping up with a mixture of anger and desperation, "No matter what I do, it's wrong. No matter what I say, it's wrong. No matter what, I'm just a pain to them."

"Liss…" Nolan sounded slowly. "Whatever's going on… just, whatever, okay? Whatever."

With pain, she added, "Nolan, it doesn't work without you here."

"Blondie…" Nolan whispered with tenderness. "You sound so sad, baby."

With gloom, Lissa shared, "Nole…they accused me of lying, of taking a pregnancy test and lying about it."

"What?" Nolan exclaimed with frustration and surprise.

"Olivia found the box for Linnea's pregnancy test in my bathroom and asked Mom why I would need it," Lissa sniffled.

"Oh for F*&#'s sake," Nolan groaned. "Baby, I'm so sorry. They care so damn much that they forget to think sometimes."

"They don't care about me," Lissa snapped with contempt, still far too upset to consider the situation logically.

"Dammit, Lissa, yes, they do. Knock it off," Nolan grumbled with attitude.

Lissa began crying again and spouted, "Now you're mad at me too?!"

Closing his eyes and resting his head in his hands, Nolan exhaled loudly as he calmly insisted, "Larissa… I'm not mad at you."

"Then don't tell me what to do," Lissa fought.

"Blondie, I'm not…" Nolan paused, feeling helpless from so far away. He was convinced that nothing he said was going to help Lissa in her current state. More than anything, she simply needed to be held. She was far from the point of being able to process what had occurred.

"Not what?" Lissa inquired as Nolan's voice drifted into silence.

"Nothing, Lissy. I wish I could be there and hold you," Nolan admitted with emotional exhaustion.

Without responding to his words, Lissa shared, "Your dad is trying to call me. I don't want to talk to him."

"Then don't," Nolan suggested.

Still spiraling, Lissa resumed crying and disclosed, "I don't know what to do."

"Then don't do anything," Nolan shrugged. His phone signaled another incoming call. When he checked, he saw it was Amelia. "Lissa? Hey, my mom's calling me. Can I let her know you're safe?"

"I guess," Lissa agreed reluctantly. "Call me back."

Nolan answered the other call, "Mom…hi."

"Hi, Nolan. Ryder told me you know what's going on and that you've spoken to Lissa," Amelia stated plainly.

"I just hung up with her. She's safe. She's ridiculously upset and a little irrational, but she's safe. What the hell happened to flip her out?" Nolan questioned.

"A series of poor word choices and misunderstandings, Nolan. I'm so sorry," Amelia apologized. "I'm sorry you've been dragged into this."

"Me too," Nolan quipped. "You two need to fix this, Mom."

"Where is she?" Amelia asked with authentic concern.

Nolan paused before explaining, "I'm not sure I should share that information. She needs some space."

As Nolan and Amelia spoke, Lissa decided to sit on a bench by the water. John, Nolan and Lissa's longtime friend, happened to walk by after she'd been sitting outside for five minutes. "Lissa?"

With reddened eyes, Lissa removed her gaze from the water and caught John's eye, "Hey."

"Man, Liss…what's wrong? You look upset," John wondered as he moved his brows inward and sat on the other end of the bench.

"I'm ok. Did Nolan send you here to check on me?" she grinned with loving suspicion.

Looking perplexed, John responded, "Umm…no. Nolan and I haven't talked since he left for school. I work at the dock over there and my shift ended a few minutes ago. Why would he send me to check on you? What's going on?"

A little embarrassed, Lissa smiled softly. "Nolan's parents and I just had a big blow up. I stormed out and…" Without meaning to, Lissa began crying and had to pause.

With the pure intent of a caring friend, John slid closer to her and hugged her. She sobbed on his shoulder as he held her. He swayed slightly back and forth, just like Nolan often did. Of course, he had no idea his unconscious action was exactly what she sought and needed. Without a word, John held Lissa and rubbed his hand up and down her upper back about an inch or two either way. His cheek rested on her hair as he closed his eyes and soaked in her pain.

After the two had sat together for ten minutes, Lissa's phone rang. Jumping from John's embrace with surprise when she heard Nolan's exclusive ring tone, Lissa smirked quickly as she dabbed her eyes and answered the phone. "Hi, Nolan," she eeked out.

"How are you, Shorty?" Nolan inquired with gentleness.

"A little better, I guess," Lissa responded. "I'm not sure what to do next, though."

"Can Dad come talk to you?" Nolan questioned. "Mom called me and wants to know where you are. Dad's feeling really horrible, Liss. He's really, really sorry for everything."

"I dunno…" Lissa pondered with hesitation. "I need a break from his intensity."

Chuckling, Nolan proposed, "He might be saying the same thing about you, Blondie. That's one way you two are a lot alike."

"I don't want to hear that, Nolan," Lissa sighed.

"That you guys are alike? Umm…okay," Nolan quipped as he held back a laugh.

Changing the subject, Lissa shared, "John is here. He just finished work. He walked by and saw me."

"What a coincidence, huh?" Nolan observed with a mixture of jealousy and relief. The possessiveness flowing through his veins surprised Nolan and he wasn't sure how to process the unfamiliar feelings.

John asked Lissa if he could speak to Nolan. Lissa nodded and handed him her phone. As Nolan rambled around his brain wondering what to do or say next, he heard John's voice greeting him, "Nolan, hey."

"Hi John," Nolan responded. "Thanks for sitting with Liss. Sorry you happened upon all the drama."

"Not a problem," John offered. "I… uh… just wanted to say hi so there wasn't anything weird about me being here with her, you know? I was walking to my car and saw Lissa sitting here…"

"She told me," Nolan interrupted without emotion.

"Anyway," John replied awkwardly, "I guess I should head home. Good to talk, Nolan. Take care down in LA."

"Yeah, you do the same," Nolan offered without much expression. "Can you put Liss back on?"

"Yeah, sure," John sputtered. As he handed Lissa the phone, he pointed at his watch and motioned toward his car. He whispered, "Call me if you need to talk later. I'm around." He heard the words come out of his mouth before his brain had processed them, then he wondered if he should have spoken them at all.

John walked toward his car. Glancing back once, he noticed Lissa smiling as she gazed at the water and chatted with Nolan. While Lissa and Nolan spoke, John sat in his car watching Larissa, convincing himself that he should stay nearby to ensure Lissa's safety.

"Here's what I'm thinking," Nolan shared with Lissa after John stepped away. "How about if I come home next weekend? My Friday class is cancelled, so I could catch a flight early Thursday and stay until Sunday night."

Beaming, Lissa giggled and exclaimed, "Really? Oh, Nolan, that would be so fantastic. I miss you so much. Can you really do that? Can you get a ticket this close to the flight?"

"I'll check into it," he promised. "Can you promise me something?"

"What?" Lissa questioned with wonder.

"Keep it mellow with Mom and Dad the next few days. I asked Mom to do the same. Dad and I haven't talked. But, Shorty, we're all family. We gotta sort this all out and find a way to co-exist. Even when you go to school and move away, we're all still family, right?"

With her familiar gentleness and tender demeanor, Lissa uttered, "Yeah. You're right. We are." A pause entered the conversation before Lissa added, "I love you, Nolan."

"I love you, Larissa. You'll be able to drive home? To be safe and everything?" he asked.

"Yeah," she whispered. "Thanks, Trems. I'll see you Thursday." She ended the call and grinned as she became lost in her thoughts. Becoming mesmerized by the rippling water, Lissa found herself yawning. Her blinks became more and more extended until she caught herself nearly falling asleep.

Shaking her head to wake herself up, Lissa stood up and headed back to her car. She sat in the driver's seat and locked the door, considering her next action. Without a doubt, she was certain that she did not want to return home. Picking up her phone and thumbing through her contacts, she hesitantly pressed Clarisse's name and waited to see if her mother would answer.

After four or five rings, Clarisse's familiar voice sounded as her outgoing greeting explained that she was unable to come to the phone. Lissa hung up rather than leaving a message, unsure what to say. She pondered her next step and considered calling her case worker. _She'll flip out and insist I go back home,_ Lissa thought to herself. _If she doesn't do that, she might make me go to some foster home or something. Yeah… there's no way I'm calling her._

Again, Lissa's phone lit up and indicated that Owen was attempting to reach her. She pushed a button to refuse the call and sent Owen to voicemail. Shortly thereafter, Ryder sent a text that read, _Hey, Dad's worried about you._

Lissa huffed and typed, _Then tell him to text me himself. This isn't your problem, Ry._

 _Maybe I'm worried about you too, you idiot,_ Ryder responded in true Ryder form.

 _Thanks…I guess,_ Lissa wrote back.

As if Ryder had told Owen about Lissa's response, which he hadn't, Owen sent a text to Lissa that read, _I'm sorry our words got so out of hand, Larissa. I know you're furious with me. We'd all sleep better tonight if we knew you were safe and at home._

 _I'm not coming home,_ Lissa typed. She didn't know where she was going, but she was not willing to return to the Shepherd-Hunt house.

Owen sighed as he read Lissa's words and showed the text to Amelia, asking, "Now what?"

"I think we've managed to cross the line," Amelia proposed.

"She can't sleep in her car," Owen protested and fretted.

Amelia nodded, "I agree, but I'm not sure we can do anything about it, Owen."

"We could call Nolan," Owen proposed.

"And say what?" Amelia wondered. "Owen, we can't rope him into our drama when he's so far away and can't do anything about it."

"What about calling one of her friends?" Owen suggested.

Amelia grimaced and resigned herself to reality, "She has a key. She can come home whenever she likes. She has a phone and her car. Maybe we need to let her sort this out on her own. If we run in and fix the situation for her, she won't learn anything. Larissa put herself in this situation, and she needs to figure out her next steps."


	8. Chapter 8 - Emotional Roller Coasters

**Chapter 8**

 **A Pivotal Year – Emotional Roller Coasters**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **September 22 – 23**

 **September 22**

 _Ry, bring my uniform to school with you tomorrow, k?_ Lissa texted as she began to put together a plan. She was still unsure where she would sleep, but she knew without a doubt that she wouldn't go home.

 _Why?_ Ryder responded

 _Because I'm not coming home tonight,_ Lissa explained.

 _Stop being so stupid. Just come home and deal,_ Ryder commanded.

 _Will you bring my uniform or not?_ She persisted.

 _I guess so. I'll see if I can find all the pieces now,_ Ryder relented.

He sent another text that read, _I'm not bringing your makeup and hair stuff._

 _Fine,_ Lissa responded.

Feeling more alone than she had since the days of Larry's abuse, Lissa wondered where she would go for the night. Clarisse hadn't answered her phone. Nolan, of course, was far away. What were her other options? She sent a text to Piper, but her parents had just returned from a trip and wouldn't sign off on having a friend over on a school night. As the sky grew darker and the air became colder, Lissa felt empty and lonely. She called Nolan, hoping he could share his wisdom and help her know what to do.

"Hey, Blondie," Nolan answered with a smile as he set his pencil down on his textbook.

"Do you have a minute?" Lissa asked meekly.

"Of course. What's up?" Nolan inquired with loving curiosity.

"I don't know where to go. I don't want to go home and I can't stay at Piper's," Lissa explained.

Closing his eyes and shaking his head, Nolan sighed quietly, "Why aren't you going home? You have school tomorrow, Shorty."

With a slight crack in her voice, Lissa insisted, "I can't go back. Not tonight. Not after your parents accused me of lying and everything."

"Really?" Nolan snapped a bit too forcefully, not having time for Lissa's high school dramatics. Even though he'd only been in college for a short time, Nolan's world was light years away from the drama and angst of high school. He was stunned by how trivial all the ups and downs at St. Francis now seemed.

"What do you mean 'really'?" Lissa protested. "Nolan, I thought you'd understand."

"Well, I don't, Babe," Nolan shared as he blew a breath of air toward his forehead. With tears welling in her eyes, Lissa didn't respond. The emotional distance compounded her loneliness and sense of solitude.

"Lissa, are you there?" Nolan asked curiously as the silence lingered.

"Yeah," she uttered quickly.

Hearing only a one word response, Nolan couldn't tell if her voice conveyed anger, sadness or indifference. Gently, he continued, "Are you okay?"

"I guess," she responded flatly.

"Shorty, I have a ton of homework," Nolan pointed out, wanting to find a way to kindly say that he was willing to talk but not willing to play games.

"Fine," Lissa sighed softly. "Bye." Before Nolan could respond, she ended the call.

"Dammit," Nolan huffed as he rested his head on his textbook. He reached for his phone and typed out a text, _I wasn't trying to get rid of you, Babe. Just didn't seem like the conversation was going anywhere._ He waited for a response, surprised she didn't reply immediately.

Meanwhile, in Seattle, Lissa sat in her car crying. She ignored the text she assumed was from Nolan. Feeling nearly hollow inside, her sense of solitude increased. Not even Nolan cared or understood. Truly, as far as she could figure, she was completely alone in the world. That revelation was terrifying.

Her phone buzzed again as another text arrived. This one, from Ryder, read, _I've got a white shirt, a skirt, long socks, red sweater. That's it, right?_

For whatever reason, Lissa chose to glance down at the second text. She wrote back, _and black shoes and the little tie-like thing for the shirt. Thanks._

 _Why don't you just come home? I can hear Dad talking – he's worried about you. Come home so he'll shut up,_ Ryder grumbled via text.

 _I can't_ , Lissa responded.

 _You're a drama queen, Liss,_ Ryder concluded. His words, true to Ryder's sarcastic form, sent Lissa into another fit of tears. Normally, she would have either ignored him or laughed. In her current emotional state, though, crying seemed to be her only option.

John knocked softly on the car window, causing Lissa to jump and let out a small scream. "Sorry," he shrugged. "Are you ok?"

"No," Lissa admitted.

"Can I come sit with you?" John offered. "Maybe you shouldn't be alone right now." John walked around to the passenger side of the car and opened the door. He slid onto the seat. When he saw Lissa, his expression turned to one of concern and sadness. "What's wrong?"

"Why are you here?" Lissa asked as she sniffled.

"I didn't want to go home until I was sure you were safe. This is a pretty chill area, but still…" John explained. "Anyway, I've been waiting in my car and thought I should come check on you."

"I don't know what to do," Lissa sobbed.

Wanting to help but unsure what to say, John asked, "About what?"

"Where to stay tonight. I don't want to go home. I don't have anywhere else to go," Lissa wept.

John shook his head and clarified, "That's not true."

"Huh?" Lissa inquired as she glanced up at John.

"Why don't you stay at my house? My mom would love to see you and we have a guest room," John offered.

"Are you sure?" Lissa wondered.

"Of course, I'm sure," John insisted. "How about if we drop your car off at the school and then ride over to my house together?" Lissa agreed numbly.

As he followed Lissa to the school, John called his mom and explained the situation. He had been correct, his mom was more than willing to have Lissa stay over. After parking in the driveway and as they walked to the front door, John wrapped an arm around his friend in a gesture of support. John's mom greeted them and welcomed Lissa.

She invited Lissa to join her on the couch so they could catch up, but Lissa apologized and asked if she could go directly to bed. John's mom led Lissa down the hallway and lent her a nightshirt. She encouraged Lissa to use whatever she might need to remove her makeup and handed her a spare toothbrush. With her blue eyes dimmed and puffy, Lissa hugged and thanked John's mom whom she'd known for over ten years. Lissa washed her face and changed her clothes. The moment her head hit the pillow, she was asleep.

Meanwhile, Nolan, who never received a reply to his earlier text, texted his brother.

 _Have you heard from Liss?_ Nolan asked Ryder via text around 10:00 pm.

 _Kind of. Earlier she asked me to bring her uniform to school tomorrow,_ the younger brother responded.

 _Where is she staying tonight?_ Nolan inquired.

 _No idea. Not here,_ Ryder wrote.

Changing recipients, Nolan sent a text to Amelia, _Any news about Liss?_

 _News?_ Amelia typed back.

 _Is she coming home? Staying somewhere? Do you guys know what's going on?_ Nolan asked with desperation and concern.

 _She's at John's. His mom called. Dad talked to her. Want to talk to Dad?_ Amelia shared.

 _No. Glad she's safe. Love you guys,_ Nolan signed off.

 _Love you too, Nole,_ Amelia shared.

 **September 23**

When John and Lissa showed up at school together, their joint arrival provided the day's gossip. The small student body was abuzz about why John would be giving Lissa a ride to school and about why her car was in the parking lot early that morning.

Ignoring the rumors, Lissa sought out Ryder and hoped to be able to change into her uniform before the final bell. Making it to class with less than a minute to spare, the teacher pointed out Lissa's arrival with a frosty, "Nice of you to join us, Miss Howe." Lissa was then invited to the board to write out her solution to the first two math problems that had been part of the previous night's homework. Knowing that admitting her book and homework were at home would earn her a detention, Lissa went to the board and tried her best to work her way through the first problem.

The veteran teacher told Lissa to sit down in the hallway after it became clear that she did not understand the math problem. Embarrassed, Lissa did as she was told. She hadn't been sent to sit in the hall since first or second grade. With a minute left in class, the teacher peered out and invited Lissa to come back in the classroom. She instructed her to stand at the front of the room as the other students gathered their belongings and headed out the door.

Once the teacher and Lissa were the only two remaining in the room, the teacher closed the door and folded her arms as she tsk'd Lissa. "Miss Howe, your behavior this morning is surprising. Do you care to explain yourself?"

"No, Ma'am," Lissa responded.

"You're not the type of student who forgets her work and her text book," the teacher summarized. "I'll see you in this room during lunch and after school. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Lissa answered without reaction.

"Off you go," the teacher instructed as she dismissed Lissa. The teacher walked over to her desk and typed out an email to Owen and she cc'd the school principal.

Lissa's day went from bad to worse as she admitted to each teacher that her homework was at home. In each case, she faced some sort of consequence – everything from additional homework, detention, and admonishment. Unfortunately, each teacher felt compelled to notify Owen and Miss Donington of his or her disappointment.

At the end of the school day, as Lissa forced herself to return to her first period classroom, students were once again abuzz. Somebody had spotted Nolan in the parking lot and the news spread like wildfire. Piper, passing her downtrodden friend, called out, "Lissa! Where are you going? Didn't you hear that Nolan's here?"

"I have detention. I… I… Can you let him know? I can't be late," she fretted.

When Piper stepped into the parking lot, she spotted Nolan as he leaned against Owen's Boxster. She approached him and wrapped her arms around Nolan, purring, "Hey there, Green Eyes. College looks fabulous on you."

"Thanks, Piper," Nolan slightly chuckled. "How are you?"

"Wonderful as always. I'm supposed to tell you that your sweet, innocent, virginal love is in detention," Piper shared.

"Lissa?" Nolan questioned. To his knowledge, she'd never been in detention her entire school career.

"Do you have another sweet, innocent, virginal love?" Piper quipped.

"Uh…no," Nolan muttered. Certain Piper would know the answer from personal experience, Nolan inquired, "How long does that take?"

"45 minutes," Piper informed him before excusing herself. "Good seeing you, pal. I gotta go find my sister."

Ryder walked up and hugged his brother, "Hey, it's true. Somebody told me you were out here. Good to see you."

"You're getting too tall," Nolan harassed as he pushed down on the top of Ryder's head. "So who's picking you up?"

"Lissa usually drives us home, but I can't find her and she's not answering texts," Ryder shrugged. "The littles are gonna start flipping out if somebody doesn't pick them up soon."

"Let's walk over there. Apparently, Liss is in detention," Nolan grumbled.

Ryder burst into hysterics as he joked, "No way! Lissa? Larissa Howe is in detention? She's not cut out for a life of crime. She'll get eaten alive." Nolan elbowed his brother, who pushed back. Soon, the two erased ten years by hitting, slugging, pushing, and pulling one another and laughing about it.

The littles were all surprised to see Nolan as he approached their lines and greeted their teachers. In such a small school community, the teachers all knew him and had no problem releasing the kids to him. Lucas attempted to climb his big brother as the twins both begged to be picked up.

"How come your face is scratchy?" Ria asked as Nolan kneeled down and she embraced her hero.

"Because I grew a beard," Nolan laughed.

Scrunching up her face with dismay, Anna inquired, "Why?"

"You don't like it?" Nolan attempted to clarify.

"It's okay, but you don't look like Nolan now," Anna explained.

Lucas jumped on Nolan's back and giggled up a storm. Reaching back, Nolan flipped Lucas upside down and held him by the ankles. "Hey, put me down before my feet lose all their blood," Lucas advised.

Looking at Ryder, Nolan suggested, "We could always spin him around to even out the blood, couldn't we?"

"Or hang him by his ears and swing him back and forth," Ryder offered with mock seriousness.

"You guys aren't funny," Lucas declared. "Be nice to me, Beard Guy!" Laughing, Nolan flipped his youngest sibling upright and herded everyone toward Lissa's car.

"How does this usually work? Does Liss have car seats in her car now?" Nolan asked Ryder.

"No. Mom and Dad make her drive the Enclave or the van," Ryder explained.

"We have no car seats," Nolan stated flatly. "Well, crap."

"You saided a bad word!" Lucas declared as he smacked Nolan's rear.

Nolan ignored Lucas as he grabbed his phone and texted Owen, _At the school. Lissa's car here without car seats. Now what?_

 _Damn,_ Owen typed back, _waiting on an incoming trauma that's just a minute or two out. Mom's here and has the Enclave. I've got the truck. Swap with Mom?_

Nolan sent a text to Amelia and arranged a trade. Leaving the littles with Ryder, he headed out in the Boxster, stopped to pick up Olivia, and drove to the hospital. When Nolan saw Olivia, she was sitting on the grass with a friend. Nolan thought it was so adorable how the two 10 year old girls held hands and seemed to be deep in conversation. When Olivia saw Nolan, she perked up, smiled broadly and ran to greet her big brother. Smothering him with hugs and kisses, Olivia put her hands on either side of Nolan's bearded face and declared in a matter-of-fact tone, "This… has got to go."

"Think so, huh?" Nolan laughed as he carried his sister and reveled in the fact that she let him carry her. Olivia's presence never failed to fill those around her with zest. Feeling centered simply by being in her presence, Nolan hugged his sister as they walked to the Boxster.

By the time Nolan and Olivia returned to the school, Lissa was leaning against her car as Ryder entertained the littles. Also leaning against her car, John conveyed a look of concern as he and Lissa spoke. As Nolan drove closer, his hunch was confirmed: Lissa was upset and near tears. Nolan parked the Enclave next to Lissa's car and jumped out.

Lissa's mouth fell open as she ran to Nolan and fell into his embrace. He leaned down and kissed her repeatedly, whispering how much he'd missed her and how much he loved her. His hands stroked her hair and one thumb traced her jawbone as he looked deeply into her eyes. After a quick kiss on her forehead, Nolan grasped Lissa's hand and walked over to John to shake his hand and say hello. After some idle chit chat, John excused himself and repeated how great it was to see Nolan.

Now as he leaned against the car, Nolan pulled Lissa close and hugged her. He whispered in her ear as he nibbled it and ran his hands up and down Lissa's back. Her eyes flitted as she relaxed into the safety of his arms and rested her cheek against his chest.

"Can you stop that so we can go home?" Lucas asked as he pulled on Nolan's shirt.

"What's so exciting there?" Nolan prodded.

Shrugging, Lucas responded, "I dunno. It's where we go next. And the dogs are there. They're exciting."

With a grin, Nolan asked Lissa if she was going to drive the Enclave or if he was. Although time had passed, little had changed. Lissa responded, "Whatever you want." Nolan volunteered to drive the Enclave so he could visit with his siblings. Lissa followed in her car.

When the group pulled up and stopped outside the garage, Barkley and Bogey ran to greet their kids. When they saw Nolan, the dogs barked and jumped. Their tails wagged quickly back and forth and they postured with their front legs on the ground and their butts in the air. The barking and rolling around was comical as each dog sought to receive Nolan's full attention. Lucas, Ria and Anna stood by and giggled as they watched. Lissa sat on a step nearby and forced a grin. Just being back on the property felt strange to her and she began to consider what would happen when Owen and Amelia came home.

Lost in her thoughts, Lissa was physically present but mentally absent. Nolan had tried to get her attention a couple times before finally kneeling down in front of her and kissing her hand, "You there, Shorty?"

"Huh? Yeah… yeah, I'm here," Lissa mumbled. "Sorry. I was thinking about some stuff," she added with a quick grin. She reached out and pulled Nolan toward her, kissing him and giggling as she shared, "I can't believe you're here. It is so great to see you, Trems."


	9. Chapter 9 - You're Back, Not the Same

**Chapter 9**

 **A Pivotal Year – You're Back, But It's Not the Same**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **September 23**

 _ **I know some of you are on Lissa overload. Hang with me. Even when I try to focus on other characters, I seem to find myself writing about her. I think I do that because she has such an effect on everyone else (good and bad). Her presence in their home has disrupted and changed the family dynamics, and everyone is still attempting to discover a new normal. She will soon take a back seat, but I want to wrap up some loose ends. Love the shooting prompt – I think I'll save it for later in the story. For those that requested them, a few other prompts made their way into the story below.**_

Nolan took command easily as he assumed his former role of overseeing afterschool routines. Backpacks were hung on their hooks, lunch bags and boxes were left on the counter, uniforms were replaced with play clothes, and snacks were served.

After the novelty of their brother's arrival wore off, Olivia and the littles headed to the play room. Ryder went upstairs to his room, leaving Lissa and Nolan alone in the living room. As he sprawled out on the familiar couch and looked at the lake through the windows, Nolan leaned his head on Lissa's as she snuggled under his arm and into his chest.

"I miss this," Nolan mused. "Holding you, just being quiet together."

"Mmm," Lissa purred in agreement. Nolan leaned in to kiss her and his hands were soon exploring under Lissa's shirt. Unhooking her bra, he spoke as they kissed, "Should we go upstairs?"

Lissa pulled away and widened her eyes, "And end up royally busted? I don't think so."

"They won't be home for hours," Nolan dismissed.

"But everyone else is home and there are no secrets around here," Lissa reminded her boyfriend. His hand crept over her breast as he resumed kissing her. With his free hand, he gently grasped Lissa's hand and moved it between his legs. "Nole…" Lissa complained, "Slow down. Geez. We're sitting in the middle of the living room where anyone could walk by at any minute."

"That's why we should go upstairs," Nolan pushed as he leaned more tightly against her.

"Trems… we can't," Lissa protested gently. "I think you've been gone so long that you don't remember what it's like to live here under your mom and dad's rules."

"Larissa Lorraine," Nolan hummed sternly, "They. Are. Not. Home."

"That doesn't mean I'm going to fawn all over you and get naked in the middle of the house, Nolan," Lissa huffed as she became increasingly upset. She sat up and re-hooked her bra, stating, "I have 1000 things I want to talk about with you and all you want to do is get in my pants."

Putting his hands in the surrender position and scooting away from her, Nolan growled with contempt, "Yeah, Liss, that's all I want." He stood up abruptly and walked into the kitchen where he poured himself some water. With the full cup in his hand, he opened the front door and stepped through it.

"Where are you going?" Lissa inquired desperately.

"Outside…alone," Nolan snapped.

Lissa fell onto the back of the sofa and sighed heavily. Breathing as slowly as she could manage, she attempted to keep from crying. Once she determined the tears would win, Lissa headed upstairs, wrapped herself in a blanket, and sequestered herself on her balcony. Crying into her pillow, Lissa wasn't even sure why she was sobbing. Life simply felt overwhelming.

Nolan played with the dogs and kicked around a soccer ball. Hearing the bouncing ball, Ryder peered out his window and decided to join his brother outside. Soon, Olivia and the littles swarmed the scene and all six kids headed over to the tree house.

"Where's Lissa?" Lucas questioned once he noticed her absence.

"She's up at the house, Little Man," Nolan disclosed.

"Isn't she happy that you're home? Why isn't she playing with us?" Lucas persisted.

"I don't know," Nolan fibbed. In an attempt to change the subject, he added with a scary voice, "But you're here and I'm gonna get you."

"No!" Lucas exclaimed as he ran and hid behind Anna. Why he imagined his worst enemy would protect him was a mystery.

"Don't hide behind me," Anna commanded as she pulled Lucas in front of her and pushed him toward Nolan.

Playfully, Nolan grabbed Luke and tickled him. Once Nolan let Lucas escape, he looked at Anna and wondered, "Why aren't you nice to Lucas, Annabelle?"

"Because I don't like him and he doesn't like me and we fight all the time and that's what we do," she huffed.

"But he's your brother, kiddo," Nolan commented with a touch of sadness.

"So…" Anna persisted as her hands landed on her hips.

"So? Annabelle, people in families love each other. Even if we bug each other sometimes, we still love each other," Nolan instructed.

"I don't love him. He's a pain," Anna spouted.

"I am not. You are," Lucas screamed as he stood face to face with his sister.

"Ahh… ahh… enough of that," Nolan firmly ordered as he knelt down. "You know what my mommy used to do if I was mean to Ryder or if we weren't getting along? She'd make us sit together in one chair until we worked it out."

"I'm _not_ doing that," Anna purported.

Looking up with his wide blue eyes, Lucas asked Nolan, "Why is she so mean?"

"Anna, you need to go back up to the house. If you can't play nice, you can't play with everyone else. Ry? Will you take her?" Nolan requested.

"I'll stay down here. You take her," Ryder fought.

"I'm not going with you," Anna maintained. "I don't like you anymore."

Nolan glanced at Ryder and rolled his eyes. Without another word, he picked Anna up in his broad arms and looked her directly in the face, "Here's the deal, Miss. You can walk to the house, I can carry you this way, or I can carry you sideways on my hip. What's your choice?" Reaching up to her brother's face, Anna slapped Nolan's cheek with full force.

Again, without responding, Nolan held Anna sideways on his hip facing outward. At a brisk pace, he walked toward the house. When he opened the front door and walked up the stairs, Annabelle was yelling and screaming at her brother. She insisted he wasn't her boss, attempted to kick him, and screamed at full volume. Nolan walked into the twins' room, set her on the bed and firmly stated, "When you've calmed down, we can talk. Come find me. Until then, stay in here." As he stepped through the doorway, Anna threw a stuffed animal at her oldest brother in a sign of protest.

"Holy crap," Nolan mumbled under his breath.

Lissa peeked her head out of her bedroom and inquired, "What was that all about?" The two met at the top of the stairway and sat down. Although he didn't say anything about it, he could tell Lissa had been crying.

"She was being sassy and picking on Lucas. I tried to intervene and she behaved even worse. After slapping me on the cheek, she kicked and fussed the whole walk up here from the treehouse. What the hell? Has she always been this nightmarish and I just forgot or has she reached a new level of brattitude?" Nolan wondered.

"She's become more intense," Lissa shrugged. "Usually, everyone tries to navigate around her and not set her off. When your dad's home, he deals with her. She usually shapes up for him." Lissa placed her hand on Nolan's chin and looked at his cheeks, "Was it this one?" she questioned as she softly kissed his left cheek. Her gentleness co-existed with Anna's ongoing screaming and yelling.

With a chuckle, Nolan confirmed, "Yeah… hey, I'm sorry about earlier. I'm so happy to see you… I got carried away. I apologize, Babe."

Lissa's blue eyes peered at Nolan from the top of her eyelids. With a disheartened tone, she requested, "Yeah, you did. Don't push me on that, Nolan. You know where I stand."

Closing his eyes slowly, Nolan took a few deep breaths before uttering, "Yeah."

"Is that a problem?" Lissa inquired, unsure what to make of his brief response.

"Liss…" Nolan responded with frustration in his voice and held up a hand in the stop position, before begging, "I'm only here a few days. Can we make the best of them?"

"I guess that depends what making the best of them means, Trems. If your goal is getting as close to sex as you can, then no. If it's catching up with each other, talking, and spending time together, then of course," Lissa described with intensity and insistence.

Nolan lowered his brows and took a few more deep breaths. He smirked Lissa's way and muttered, "I left Ry at the treehouse with the kids. I should get back over there."

As he began to descend the stairs, Lissa asked, "What about Anna? Shouldn't you be here when she comes out of her room?"

"Come get me," Nolan suggested without looking back. Once again, Lissa was left feeling abandoned and confused.

Feeling both sad and angry, Lissa stood up and stormed down the stairs. She ordered firmly, "Stop."

With a huff and surprised chuckle, Nolan turned around. His eyebrows were drawn toward the bridge of his nose and his chin pointed toward the floor. Unconsciously, he was stunned to hear Lissa's insistent tone. "Who are you?" he wondered aloud with confusion as he shook his head.

"I'm your girlfriend, Nolan. Please stop walking away from me when our words become tense," Lissa asserted herself as her heart beat quickly. "It's not nice."

"It's not _nice_?" Nolan scoffed in self-defense hoping to protect his ego from her apt observation. Folding his arms and peering down more than a foot at his girlfriend, Nolan continued, "I'll… uh… I'll try to be _nice_ , Larissa. Now, pardon me. I need to go help Ryder."

"No. You. Don't," Lissa insisted. "You need to stay right here and face the music, Nolan. Talk. To. Me. Ryder is fine. He deals with the kids all the time. He doesn't _need_ your help."

"Wow," Nolan derided. "First, I find out you stayed the night at John's, then you don't even want me to touch you and now you're rampaging like a bitch. You know, Lissa, if you want to break up, have the guts to put it out there."

As her mouth fell, Larissa began breathing quickly from her chest. Unable to keep her voice steady, she sputtered sadly, "I don't want that. Not at all." She sniffled and swallowed, hoping to avoid tears.

"I need to take a walk. We'll talk later," Nolan huffed as he shook his head and stepped away. After he walked the few steps to the front door and left the room, Lissa fell to the floor in tears.

Ten minutes later, the garage door opened but Lissa did not hear it over her own sobs and Anna's continued rant. Owen stepped through the door and heard the intensity. Involuntarily, he reacted with a shocked, "Oh." When Lissa looked up, he continued, "Hey… uh… hi. What's up with Anna? Are you okay?"

Wiping her eyes and further smearing her mascara, Lissa sniffled, "Nolan put her in time out. She was harassing Luke, being nasty, and slapped Nole. The regular stuff times about three."

Standing at the counter and glancing at the mail as he listened, Owen glanced at Lissa and carefully repeated, "And you?"

"Nothing," Lissa offered as she shook her head.

"At some point we need to talk about last night and about the emails I received today from your teachers," Owen offered factually.

Lissa sighed as her voice trembled, "I know. Can it please wait?"

"Yeah… sure. Umm… do what you need to do for you," Owen shrugged awkwardly. "Sure I can't help?"

Mumbling as she walked up the stairs, Lissa suggested, "Bring the old Nolan back." All Owen caught were the words 'Bring' and 'Nolan.' Befuddled, he shook his head and went back to the mail. Afterward, he walked upstairs slowly, attempting to determine if he was going to talk to Annabelle or change clothes first.

He continued down the hall and took a deep breath. "Annabelle Grace," he voiced sternly, having decided to tackle the more challenging of the two tasks before him.

"Go away," Anna pouted as she stopped screaming.

"Kids don't speak to adults that way, Annabelle," Owen stated calmly but firmly as he knelt down to Anna's level.

"I do," she fought.

"Anna…" Owen growled more firmly. "Enough." Anna responded by lowering her brow, narrowing her eyes and glaring at her father.

"Thank you for being quiet. Now, take a deep breath and get rid of that nasty expression," Owen ordered. Reaching for whatever was close by, Anna grabbed a stuffed animal and threw it at Owen's face. With a stealth reaction, he caught it before it hit him.

As her father regarded her with a serious expression, she dared to command, "You get rid of _your_ angry face, Mister."

Grabbing Anna's arm, Owen spanked her rear firmly. Although he'd come close many times, he had never spanked the twins or Lucas. As his hand made contact, he had mixed feelings about disciplining her that way. With her ongoing sass, though, he felt that he had run out of options.

Annabelle howled and cried in response. "Owie!" she screamed, "Stop it! Please, Daddy."

Turning her to face him by grasping her shoulders, Owen looked her in the eye and inquired, "Are you finished arguing and being sassy?" Whimpering, Anna nodded her head. "Good. You can stay in here awhile longer and think about what you did to Nolan and how you spoke to me. It's not going to happen again, Annabelle, is it?"

In response, Anna shook her head. Owen corrected her and ordered, "You need to use words and say 'No, Sir.'"

"No, Sir," Anna squeaked out softly as her lip trembled.

"That's better. Now, on your bed," Owen instructed as he lifted her up and set her on her sore bottom. "Stay on your bed until I come back, understood?"

"Yes, Sir," Anna blubbered.

Owen left Anna's door open and walked to his bedroom to change clothes. As he unbuttoned his dress shirt, he heard Amelia's voice from downstairs, "Hello? Anybody here? Mommy's home."

"In the bedroom, Mia," Owen called out. "Kids are at the treehouse."

She appeared in the doorway, immediately spotting her half naked husband and his muscular chest. He looked up and casually muttered, "Hey."

"There's a sight for sore eyes," she grinned playfully as she approached Owen and embraced him. He hummed with delight as they kissed. As she pulled away, Amelia suggested, "I was thinking maybe we could go to pizza to celebrate Nolan being home."

Shrugging, Owen joined his lips together and bobbed his head back and forth as he considered the option. "We could," he began slowly, "but we're in the midst of some drama."

Amelia looked around the room as if she was surveying the whole house, "We are?"

"Anna's sass has risen to paramount levels and she slapped Nolan when he tried to bring her in line, and, I'm not sure what the hell is up with Lissa, but she's weepy. I received an email from all but one teacher today expressing concern because she was unprepared for class, and then there's the whole deal with last night…" Owen thought aloud.

"You'd think Lissa would be over the moon since Nolan's home. What's that all about?" Amelia asked with concern.

"No idea," Owen commented as he stepped out of his dress slacks and threw on a pair of jeans.

"Hmm," Amelia pondered. "Maybe we can wait for Anna to calm down so she's in a better space before we leave. We can be crystal clear that the only reason she's going is because we're all celebrating Nolan."

"Yeah. Okay," Owen nodded as he looped a belt around his waist. "And Lissa?"

"We can set the whole last night thing aside until Nolan returns to USC, don't you think? She's old enough that we don't have to act immediately," Amelia ventured. "But I think I'll go talk to her."

Still in her scrubs, Amelia wandered down the hall to Lissa's room and knocked lightly on the door. After Lissa called back that Amelia could come in, Amelia stepped in and found Lissa sitting on her bed and leaning into a corner. Her legs were folded toward her chest and her arms were wrapped around her knees. "Hey," Lissa greeted softly.

"Hey back," Amelia offered with a raised eyebrow. "You look pretty upset. What's up?"

Shaking her head, Lissa responded, "I don't even know where to start. Last night and then today at school…" she trailed off in half sentences. "Then we got home and Nolan and I… I dunno, Amma."

"Why don't you start with what happened at school?" Amelia suggested as she sat on Lissa's bed.

"I got detention. I didn't have any of my homework or books. Every single teacher ragged on me," Lissa disclosed as she peeked up at the ceiling. "I was sent into the hall during Math. Probably the worst day of school I've ever had."

"Yeah," Amelia pursed her lips and nodded, "Doesn't sound so good. Then what?"

"Nole was waiting for me and that was awesome and everything was great and we came home and sat down," Lissa began rambling non-stop as her words all joined together. "Then it all got weird. Really weird. Like he even said, 'If you want to break up, just tell me' or something like that."

"Oh, sweetheart," Amelia empathized as she reached out for Lissa's hand and grasped it. "Relationships can really suck sometimes, especially after you've been apart awhile. I'm sorry it's been such a crappy day, but I'm really glad you're home."

Huffing with disbelief and a slight chuckle, Lissa protested, "Yeah, after last night, I'm sure I'm the first person you want to hang with."

Nodding with a look of concern, Amelia offered, "Yeah… last night." She winced as she continued, "Not so good."

"I suppose I'm busted," Lissa observed.

"Well…" Amelia replied as she strung out her words. "I talked with Owen. We're thinking maybe we can deal with all that when Nolan leaves. I don't want his first weekend home to be a downer for anyone." Raising her hand, she concluded, "Including moi."

"Okay," Lissa chuckled. "Thanks."

"How about some pizza?" Amelia offered as she lightly slapped Lissa's knee and smiled.

"If Nolan even wants me to go," Lissa shrugged.

"Nolan can get over himself if he doesn't want you there. _I_ want you to go," Amelia smiled as she held out her arms. She and Lissa hugged and Amelia whispered, "Hang in there, kiddo. Today's just a bad day. It'll pass."


	10. Chapter 10 - Open Wounds

**Chapter 10**

 **A Pivotal Year – Open Wounds**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **September 23**

 _ **A nearly Lissa-free chapter for all those who are sick of her. :)**_

 _ **I'm posting two chapters today since I'm travelling this coming week...not sure how many updates I'll be able to publish.**_

"I hear lots of talking but not much cleaning up or dressing," Amelia called out from her bedroom as the family prepared to go to pizza.

Ryder, already changed and lying on Amelia and Owen's bed, looked at Nolan who was draped over a chair and thumbing through a medical journal. Ry scoffed, "What's the sound of getting dressed?"

Laughing, Nolan replied, "Good question."

Amelia stepped from around the corner and groused, "Very funny. Will you go check on the littles, Ry?"

"I'll check on two of them. I'm afraid of the redhead with long hair," Ryder joked as he referred to Anna.

Without looking up from the journal, Nolan offered, "Dad spanked her. She won't be a problem for at least another hour or two." Ryder chuckled as he left the room.

"He did _what_?" Amelia huffed with widened eyes.

Nolan looked up and shrugged, "He spanked her. She deserved it. She was being a monster."

"Umm… yeah," Amelia grimaced. "Where's Dad? Have you seen him?"

"He probably already backed out the Enclave and is sitting in the driveway about to honk the horn," Nolan teased.

Ignoring the sarcasm, Amelia recommended, "You should go check on Larissa. And be kind."

"When am I not kind?" Nolan protested somewhat accurately. "Did she say I was being an ass?"

"No, not at all. She was upset. I asked her what was wrong and she mentioned you two had a little disagreement," Amelia fibbed.

Nolan glanced at his mom and said nothing as he stood up and headed to Lissa. When he reached the outside of her door, he knocked and requested, "Shorty, it's me. Can I come in?"

"Yeah. I'm in the bathroom doing my makeup," Lissa called out.

Nolan walked to her bathroom and embraced her from behind. Explaining himself anxiously, he commented, "No squeezing or groping. Just this." He gently kissed her neck once then looked at her in the mirror, "You look beautiful just the way you are, Shorty."

Rolling her eyes, Lissa regarded Nolan in the mirror. As she put on mascara, she pointed out, "One eye with mascara and one without would be a little weird, Trems."

"Maybe I like my girl a little weird," Nolan kidded. "Then I don't feel so bad for what a dick I can be." Lissa closed the mascara and looked up in the mirror. Nolan continued, "I'm really sorry I've been such a hotheaded ass, Blondie… I really don't know where all that came from."

Twisting around so they were chest to chest, Lissa agreed, "I don't know either, but I know it didn't come from the Nolan I've always known."

"I'm sorry," Nolan repeated steadily.

She bore her puddling eyes into Nolan's and sounded off, "Mentioning breaking up, Nolan… not cool. I can't believe you said what you said."

"I can't either, Babe. I truly, really apologize," Nolan implored.

Staring blankly at her boyfriend, Lissa shared, "I can put on a happy face during dinner, but I'm really upset, Nolan. I'm furious, I'm sad, I'm crushed… hell, I'm also glad to touch you and hold you. I'm so confused I barely know which was is up. I'll put on a smile, but I won't be ok until we really talk about everything."

Nolan lifted Lissa onto the counter and traced her jaw with his finger. As she sat there, she was more eye to eye with him than if she were standing. She grasped both his hands and raised her eyebrows, "Your words really stung."

"I know," he gulped. "I'm not sure what else I can say, Lissa."

"Me either," she shrugged.

"Enough said," Nolan sighed. "Now, enough tension. It's time to put a smile on your face and pretend to be happy," Nolan declared as he grabbed Lissa and threw her over his shoulder. She giggled in protest as she grabbed her purse on their way out the door.

Ria, about to descend the stairs when Nolan and Lissa appeared, put her hands up and begged, "Me too! Me too!" Stooping down with Lissa still on his right shoulder, Nolan scooped Ria up and threw her over his left shoulder.

Upside down but face to face, Lissa met eyes with Ria and stated, "Hi, Ree Ree."

With volumes of giggles, Ria kissed Lissa's cheek and said, "Hi, Sissy."

"Are we ready?" Owen huffed without commenting on Nolan's baggage. "Ryder, Olivia and Anna are in the car. Where are Mom and Lucas?" Calling out, Owen prodded, "Mia! C'mon. Let's go."

"It's not like we have reservations," Amelia scoffed as she approached the stairs and headed toward Owen.

Raising his eyebrows, Owen tilted his head toward Nolan and threatened Amelia, "I'm about to get you out there that way."

Amelia smiled and turned around, "Luke! Let's go, baby."

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Lucas responded as he ran down the hall with one shoe on and one shoe in his hand. "Can you help me, Daddy?"

Surprised Lucas ran past Amelia and selected him, Owen picked Lucas up and put on his shoe as he carried him to the car. Turning to Nolan, Owen inquired, "You and your sacks of potatoes are taking Lissa's car?"

"Sure," Nolan responded as he carried both girls outside. As he put Lissa down by the car door, he tended to her by saying, "Careful. You've been upside down and might be dizzy." Nolan continued, "You too, Ree. Here, hold onto my shoulders while you try to stand up."

Nolan placed Ria's feet on the pavement and she wobbled a little as she grasped her brother tightly. With a giggle, she commented, "My head feels funny." Nolan kissed her forehead and buckled her into a car seat.

Meanwhile, in the Enclave, Anna pouted aloud, "Why does Ria get to go with Nolan?"

"Because Ria didn't slap him earlier," Owen pointed out.

Amelia leaned toward Owen and whispered, "I heard you dealt with that situation in your own way."

Huffing, Owen keep his eyes on the road as he responded, "Yeah, I did. Can we talk about that later, Mia?"

"I guess," Amelia groused. "I thought we'd cleared up that topic about five years ago."

" _You_ thought we came to a mutual understanding, Mia. I never agreed to anything," Owen pointed out with a fake happy voice.

"Really?" Amelia asked inquisitively. "I… uh… Honestly, Owen, I really did think the issue was resolved. Yeah," she smirked, "we can sort it out later."

"Ddddooonnnn'tttttt," Lucas whined from the back.

"Annabelle!" Owen snapped.

Olivia piped up, "Anna's asleep, Daddy. Ryder is messing with Luke."

"Oh," Owen quipped, slightly embarrassed. "Ryder, knock it off," he ordered in a normal tone of voice.

"Knock what off?" Ryder asked as he held Puppy Blanky toward the window pretending like he was going to roll the window down and throw Puppy out.

"Whatever you're doing that is upsetting your brother," Owen clarified flatly.

"Ow! You little f* er," Ryder exclaimed.

"Excuse me, Ryder Blake Hunt?" Owen bellowed. He looked at Amelia and requested, "Can you deal with all that, Mia?"

After sighing, Amelia unbuckled and joined Olivia and Anna in the middle row. Ryder held out his arm and complained, "Check that out."

Amelia leaned back in surprise and exclaimed, "Holy bite marks, Batman. Lucas?! Did you do that?"

Trying valiantly to avoid discipline, Lucas looked Amelia squarely in the eye and shook his head, "No, Mama. Nuh uh."

Ryder reached out with his unbitten arm and pushed Lucas, "Yes you did, you brat."

"I'm not a brat!" Lucas yelled. "Give me my Puppy!" Ryder threw Puppy Blanky at Lucas' face. Although it truly did not hurt, Lucas erupted in tears.

Meanwhile, Amelia checked out the bite on Ryder's forearm. "Owen," she called, "I think we need to either go home or stop at the hospital. Lucas chomped down pretty hard on Ryder's arm and drew blood."

With a huge sigh, Owen pulled over and grumbled, "Are you kidding me?"

"Nope," Amelia sung.

Owen unbuckled and walked to the back of the Enclave. He lifted the tailgate and climbed in the back as he grasped Ryder's arm. "Wow…" he commented as he reached into the med back in the back of the rig. "Does it hurt?" he asked with concern.

Crabbily, Ryder growled, "What do you think?"

Glancing up at Amelia, Owen reported, "This needs stitches. It's deep and over an inch. Can you text Nolan? I can stitch up Ry at the hospital and you guys can all head to pizza without us."

"That rabid vampire gets to go to pizza after doing this to me?" Ryder protested with fury.

"No, he'll go with us," Owen responded as he focused on wrapping Ryder's wound. "Keep pressure on it."

Owen stepped out and returned to the driver's seat. He looked at Amelia with a slight smile of disbelief and she winked at him. "Aren't kids a blast?" she giggled as she whispered in his ear and kissed him.

After dropping Ryder, Owen and Lucas off at the hospital, Amelia proceeded to the pizza place with Olivia and Anna. She and the kids had a great time as they listened to Nolan's stories and shared some of their recent adventures with him. Anna's mood seemed to be more even after her catnap, something for which Amelia was deeply grateful.

Meanwhile, Ryder put pressure on his arm with his opposite hand as Owen walked in firmly holding Lucas' hand. Lucas, his bottom lip protruding, cast his eyes down to the floor.

"What have we got here?" Avery questioned as he greeted the family.

With an embarrassed grin, Owen explained, "Human bite, approximately 6-7 mm and maybe 2 plus mm deep."

"Bleeding controlled?" Jackson inquired as he raised the dressing on Ryder's arm. "Uh… never mind. It's still seeping. Let's get you over here, big guy," Jackson offered to Ryder as he guided him to one of the beds. As Ryder lay down and propped himself up with pillows, Jackson put ice on the bite and held Ryder's arm up. He wondered, "What's the story? This has gotta have a good story."

"The little ginger vampire did it," Ryder snarled.

"Ah, brother did it. That's why I never had siblings," Jackson joked. Only Owen chuckled in response.

Leaning down close to Lucas, Jackson inquired with seriousness, "Have you had your rabies shot?"

"A shot?" Lucas responded with widened eyes as he clutched onto Owen's leg and hid behind it.

"He was just teasing, Luke. When an animal bites someone, we need to know if they have rabies. Don't worry, no shots for you tonight," Owen assured him.

Clearing his throat, Ryder regained the attention. Jackson explained that they'd wait for the bleeding to slow and then he'd irrigate the wound before stitching up each spot. "You guys hungry? Because this is going to take a while," Jackson explained.

Owen nodded and commented, "Good point. Lucas, you and I are going to walk to the cafeteria. Ry, what do you want?"

"Pizza," Ryder grumbled.

"You don't want the cafeteria's pizza. It's nasty," Jackson shared. "The burgers aren't bad though."

"Ok, a cheeseburger with everything on it but pickles," Ryder ordered. "And a Coke?" he asked hoping Owen would give in on soda given the situation.

Owen raised his eyebrows slightly and grinned, "We'll be back."

As Lucas, Puppy Blanky, and Owen made their way to the cafeteria, Owen stopped at a bench in a hallway and sat down. "C'mon up here, Luke," Owen urged as he patted the spot next to him. Lucas, with shame and regret covering his face, climbed up on the bench and dropped his chin to his chest.

"Look up here, Luke," Owen evenly told his youngest son.

Lucas slowly moved his head up and caught his daddy's eyes. "I'm sorry I bited him," he apologized.

"Good. You need to tell Ryder that when we go back to sit with him," Owen instructed. "Now, Lucas, biting someone is never ok. Why did you bite your brother?"

"Because he kepp telling me he was gonna throw Puppy out the window," Lucas disclosed.

"Hmm," Owen nodded. "Could you have done something besides bite Ryder?"

"I tried to tell on him," Lucas explained with tears welling up in his eyes.

Shaking his head, Owen pursed his lips and insisted, "No, you didn't. Then you lied to Mommy and said you didn't do it. Now what could you have done instead of bite?"

"Told on him," Lucas offered.

"What else?" Owen pushed.

"Hit him," Lucas imagined.

"Let's stick to non-violent responses. What could you have done without hurting him?" Owen prodded.

"Use words and tell him nice to give Puppy back," Lucas pouted. "Or pretend like I didn't care but that would be hard because I did care because it was Puppy."

"Those are good ideas," Owen nodded. He stood up and reached his hand back, telling him, "Let's go." Before heading toward the cafeteria, Owen led Lucas to an empty room and knelt down. "You hurt Ryder, so now you're going to get spanked." Lucas took a step back. Although he'd never been spanked, he knew what it was and he was fairly sure he never wanted to be. Owen sat down on a couch and put Lucas over his knee. Soon, Lucas was wiggling and crying.

"Do you think you've learned from this?" Owen asked as he slid Lucas upright.

With tears dripping down his cheeks, Lucas reached back and rubbed his rear as he nodded.

"What do you say then?" Owen insisted.

"Yes, Sir," Lucas whimpered.

"Do you need a minute before we go to the cafeteria?" Owen offered.

"Yes, Sir," he repeated, adding, "please." Owen leaned back on the sofa and closed his eyes. Lucas lay down on another sofa on his tummy, whimpering and playing with a Hot Wheel he had in his pocket. After a few minutes, he told Owen he was ready to go. The two walked to the cafeteria, Lucas dragging his feet as his dad's hand slightly pulled him along.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

By the time Owen and Lucas returned to Ryder, Jackson had irrigated the wound, prepped Ry for sutures, and injected a numbing agent. They were waiting for med to take effect. Lucas handed Ryder a soda and mumbled, "I'm super sorry I bitted you."

"You should be," Ryder peered at Lucas with seriousness as he grasped the soda and began to gulp it down.

"I am," Lucas admitted as he looked at the floor. "It wasn't a good choice."

"Nope, it wasn't and now I'm mad at you," Ryder said flatly.

Attempting to grasp Ryder's hand, Lucas asked, "Can I hold your hand during the sutures?"

"Nope," Ryder responded between bites of cheeseburger. "You can sit there and think about how much my arm hurts." Lucas gazed down at his lap and hunched over.

"Ry…" Owen sounded slowly, "That's enough, isn't it?"

"I don't want to talk to him, Dad. I don't want to see him or deal with him. Until the meds, it hurt like a mother," Ryder shared.

"Knock, knock!" Amelia sang from behind the curtain as she and the entire crew squeezed into the small area. "Are you gonna live?" she asked Ryder.

"Not sure. Looking grim, Mom," Ryder groaned at Amelia's ridiculous question.

"Man, that did go deep, didn't it?" Amelia observed as she slipped on a pair of gloves, pulled the wound and moved it around.

"I know," Owen responded as he put a hand on Amelia's back. He whispered, "You might want to tend to the chair in the corner."

Lucas, as much for effect as anything, kept glancing up from his knees to see if Amelia had noticed him. Amelia stood up and gave Lucas her sternest 'Mommy look' as she stated, "Mr. Lucas… I wish you hadn't done this." Lucas held his arms out as his lip quivered. Amelia picked him up and whispered, "Have you said sorry?"

"Uh huh. After Daddy spanked me," Lucas recounted factually.

Internally wincing, Owen caught Amelia's shocked glance with a slightly apologetic grin. Round as saucers, Amelia's eyes were widened as she slowly shook her head before returning her attention to Lucas.

Jackson stepped in and commented, "The whole gang is here, huh? Hi guys."

Everyone greeted Jackson and Ria stepped over and offered a wide embrace.

After Jackson and Ria's hug concluded, Jackson glanced around the space and mentioned, "Mom and Dad, it would be helpful if we didn't have an audience."

"Of course," Owen acknowledged, eager to avoid Amelia's frustration with him. "Let's figure out cars… if I take the kids home in the Enclave, can Mia bring Ryder home in your car?" Owen asked Lissa, who agreed readily. Walking over to his wife and embracing her with one arm, Owen went to kiss Amelia on the lips but made contact with her cheek when she turned her head away. As he stepped out, Owen thanked Jackson and let the group toward the car.

"I'm so glad he took Dracula with him," Ryder snarled.

With a light chuckle, Jackson observed, "This event has sure earned your brother a host of nicknames." He wound the thread of the suture around and tied it off.

"He's a brat," Ryder added.

"He is not," Amelia countered. "Taking away a four year old's blankie and threatening to throw it out the window, however…" She clenched her teeth before continuing, "kind of a brat move, Ryder."

"The kid annoys the hell out of me," Ryder persisted.

"Why does everyone pick on Lucas?" Amelia questioned with exasperation.

"Because he's spoiled rotten and gets away with everything," Ryder explained. "Mom, he hardly ever gets caught but he's always up to something."

"Hmm… sounds like a little seven year old I once knew," she grinned as she messed up Ryder's hair for the first time in months.

"Stop," Ryder protested as he swerved his head away.

"Ah, you love it. You know you do," Jackson teased.

"Did you like it when your mom did that to you?" Ryder pressed.

Waving a gloved hand over his head as if he were touching it, Jackson quipped, "That's why I shaved it off."


	11. Chapter 11 - Navigating the Storm

**Chapter 11**

 **A Pivotal Year – Navigating the Storm**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **September 23**

After helping Amelia prepare the kids for bed, Nolan excused himself and explained that he and Lissa were going to head out.

With a smirk, Amelia responded, "I want to spend some time with you, too, you know. Can we make sure that happens tomorrow? I'm home all day."

"Absolutely," Nolan promised as he hugged his mom.

Amelia looked at Nolan apologetically, "I'd say 'have fun,' but…"

"Yeah, I get it," Nolan smiled back. He hopped up the stairs two at a time and knocked lightly on Lissa's bedroom door, suggesting, "Liss? Want to go somewhere to talk?"

She walked up to her door and opened it. Her face was expressionless as she balanced her phone on her shoulder. She nodded and held up one finger, "Hey, I gotta go." After a few seconds of silence, she added, "Yeah. Thanks." After pressing the button to end the call, Lissa looked up and smirked, "Yeah, that's a great idea. Where do you want to go?"

"How about the pier?" he suggested. After she agreed and they headed toward the stairs, Nolan asked curiously, "Who was on the phone?"

"Nobody," she shrugged.

"Just talking to yourself, huh?" Nolan jested as he nudged her shoulder.

Lissa laughed, "Yeah, guess so."

"Really…" Nolan asked with a smile as they headed out the front door and toward her car. "Who was it?"

"Just a friend, Nolan. No big deal,"Lissa smirked as she shook her head. Nolan opened the car door for her.

After he walked to the driver's side and sat down, he persisted, "If it's no big deal, why won't you tell me?"

"Why does it matter?" Lissa retorted with half a grin. "Why is this a thing, Trems?"

"It wasn't," he began as he backed out and turned to drive toward the gate, "at least it wasn't until you weirded out about telling me. Why is it a secret?"

"Not a secret," Lissa sighed. "It was John, okay? I didn't want to tell you because you made a big deal about me staying at his house the other night."

"What's up with you two?" Nolan asked calmly as he drove.

"We're friends, Nolan. We've been friends since we were little," Lissa chuckled with disbelief.

"I just don't recall you and John chatting a lot or spending a bunch of time together before I left," Nolan commented as he glanced back and forth from the road to Lissa.

"What are you implying?" Lissa questioned with tension and mounting anger.

" _Should_ I be implying anything?" Nolan inquired.

"Answer my question, please," Lissa insisted.

Arriving at the parking area for the dock, Nolan pulled into a spot and turned off the car. He leaned back in the seat and covered his face with his hands. "Instead of f %^ing around with words, can you spit it out?"

"What?" Lissa questioned as she nearly held her breath.

"Knock it off, Larissa. Just tell me what's going on," Nolan snapped.

"Nothing is going on, Nolan. The only thing going on is that you're being a jealous, suspicious, untrusting prick," she yelled.

"Wow…" Nolan slowly responded. He ran his hands through his hair then turned his head toward her as he continued, "I don't know you anymore, Larissa. Since I've been home, you've snapped at me, called me names, bossed me around, and cried like a breaking dam. Oh, and pushed me away when all I wanted to do was hold you."

She sputtered in disbelief, "hold me and get in my pants. Don't deny it, Nolan."

The car filled with silence as the two sat silently. Nolan folded his arms as anger brewed inside, while Lissa gazed out the window and tried to breathe slowly.

After a long five minutes, Nolan asked flatly, "What do you want from me, Larissa?"

"Love, Nolan. That's all I've ever wanted from you. I love you," she responded with a trembling voice.

"That's a nice answer, but not what I'm looking for. Be honest with me – why have we been at each other's throats since I've been here?" Nolan demanded.

"Are you saying this is all my fault?" Lissa protested.

Shaking his head, Nolan responded flatly, "No. No, I'm not. I was hoping you might have some insights because I can't make sense of it."

"I think we could sit here all night and accuse each other of starting it. We've both been jerks and I'm not sure how it started. I'm not even sure I want to know. All I know, Nolan, is that we seem to be broken," Lissa commented.

"Yeah," Nolan nodded in agreement. "Broken."

"What do you want to do about it?" she inquired.

"You seem to have discovered your assertive side. Why do I need to decide?" Nolan shrugged.

"I didn't intend to have you decide. I was wondering what you were thinking," Lissa pointed out.

"Oh," Nolan swallowed. "I misunderstood your question. I'm not sure you really want to hear what I'm thinking. I know you're willing to listen. It's not that. I'm saying I'm not so sure it would help if I verbalized my thoughts."

"That speaks for itself, doesn't it?" Lissa uttered so softly that he could barely hear her. "You want to break up."

Shaking his head and closing his eyes, Nolan clarified, "No. Not break up. Take a break. Step away from each other until you come visit in October."

Lissa's body shook lightly as her stomach turned. She wasn't sure if she was about to be sick or about to scream. She pulled out her phone and typed out a text. Nolan didn't dare ask for details. _Can I come over?_ She typed.

Almost immediately, Clarisse responded, _Are you ok, baby?_

 _Can I? Can I spend the night? The weekend? Can you take me to school in the morning?_ Lissa begged.

Clarisse wrote back, _I need Owen or Amelia's permission, honey._

 _Can you call them?_ Lissa requested. An awkward silence lingered as Lissa studied her phone and awaited a response.

Questions filled Nolan's head: _Did I cross the line? Is that really what I want? A break? Do I regret saying it? Do I still love her? Of course, I do. I love her to the ends of the earth…at least I love the Lissa I thought I knew._

Lissa's phone buzzed. _They both agreed. Amelia's bringing over your makeup, school work, and some clothes._

After licking her lips and exhaling audibly, Lissa requested, "Could you please take me to my mom's? She lives over by Chris' parents, at the brown apartments around the corner."

"Uh, yeah," Nolan agreed as he started the car. "Shouldn't we talk?"

"Every time we talk, we end up fighting. Maybe now's not the time to talk," Lissa reflected as she sat turned away from Nolan.

"Whatever you want, Shorty. No problem," Nolan gently affirmed.

"If we're not together, you can call me Larissa," she stated softly.

"Sorry," he apologized as he realized the break was a reality.

Within minutes, Nolan pulled up in front of the complex. "Can I walk you up to her door?" he offered.

"No, thank you," Larissa answered calmly.

"Your car… I'll figure something out and drop it off later tonight," he promised.

"It's your car, Nolan," Larissa insisted kindly as she slipped off her ring and handed it to him.

"That's yours. Forever. No matter what," Nolan declared as his hands remained on the steering wheel.

"You hold onto it," Larissa maintained as she deliberately set it on the seat. She closed the door carefully and turned toward Clarisse's unit. Without looking back, she walked toward the center courtyard and turned a corner. Nolan watched her until she disappeared. Then he rested his head on the steering wheel and released the tears he could no longer hold back.

Lissa walked into the apartment. Before seeing Amelia sitting around the corner, she called out, "Mommy?"

Clarisse walked rapidly to her daughter and embraced her. As Lissa burst into hyperventilating sobs, Clarisse stroked Lissa's hair and said, "Baby girl… Amelia tells me you and Nolan have hit a rough patch." Lissa's sobs only increased and Clarisse nudged her to the sofa. Once or twice a minute, Lissa mumbled a few indecipherable words.

Making eye contact with Amelia, the two moms shared their own pain and sadness. Amelia gestured to her ring finger and then pointed at Lissa. There was no ring on her finger. Clarisse closed her eyes and pursed her lips.

"Baby girl… Liss… Amelia's here. She brought over your stuff," Clarisse announced after ten to fifteen minutes.

Lissa raised her head in Amelia's direction as Amelia frowned and tilted her head, "Hi Liss… listen, I can go. You want time with your mom."

"You can stay," Larissa pointed out, "or go. Whatever you want."

"Come here, you," Amelia encouraged as she stood up and stretched out her arms.

Lissa hugged Amelia and began sobbing again. "One really crummy day, remember? One day at a time." Amelia glanced at Clarisse, "If you need anything, anything at all…"

"Thanks, Amelia. For everything," Clarisse shared as the two embraced.

With her mouth near Clarisse's ear, Amelia requested, "Keep me posted." Clarisse nodded subtly.

Meanwhile, at the Shepherd-Hunt house, Owen was reading a Sports Illustrated on the couch. Nolan walked in, did not see his dad and stepped into the kitchen. Turning around after pouring himself some water, he noticed Owen watching him with concern. Owen questioned, "Okay?"

"Not really. Heading upstairs. See you in the morning," Nolan shook his head as he ran a hand through his hair. Soon, Owen's heart sank as he heard the ball bouncing against Nolan's ceiling. Shortly thereafter, Amelia dragged herself in through the garage door. She walked directly to the couch and flopped down next to her husband. Owen wrapped his arm around her and squeezed her toward his chest.

With shock, she muttered, "They… they broke up, I think."

"You think?" Owen voiced.

"I was there when Liss arrived. She was sobbing to the point that breathing was a chore. She wasn't wearing her ring," Amelia explained.

"Damn," Owen muttered. "What do we do now?"

"We can't fix this, O. They don't need sutures or prescriptions. We just… wait. Support them. Love them. This isn't our challenge to navigate," Amelia clarified.


	12. Chapter 12 - Trying to See Clearly

**Chapter 12**

 **A Pivotal Year – Trying to See Clearly**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **September 24**

Nolan offered to take the kids to school the next day. He rushed everyone through their morning routine, ushered them through the door and gathered them into the Enclave ten minutes earlier than usual. None of the kids knew what was going on between Lissa and Nolan, but everyone could sense Nolan was in a funk. Lissa was MIA and Nolan was far more quiet than usual.

After dropping off the kids, Nolan parked and waited to spot Lissa. He felt compelled to talk to her, to say he made a mistake, to tell her he loved her. He focused so deeply on the drop off area that he became mesmerized. When Piper knocked on the Enclave window to say good morning, Nolan jumped. He rolled down the window and quickly glanced at Piper before looking back at the drop off area.

"Hey, Piper," Nolan mumbled.

Piper inquired, "Where's your beautiful lady? I've been texting her since last night."

"So you know…" Nolan responded in distraction.

"Know what? That she forgot how to text?" Piper wondered.

Nolan shook his head, "Never mind."

Piper walked about 15 steps before stopping and turning around. She headed toward Nolan and held up her phone. When she reached the Enclave, she shared, "She just sent me a text. She's staying home today."

"Oh," Nolan nodded as he started the car.

"Wait… you'd know that. She lives with you… well, with your whole family," Piper observed.

"She wasn't home last night. Stayed at her mom's," Nolan disclosed.

Piper grimaced as she turned around and walked to class. Looking down at Lissa's text again, she wondered what it meant as she read, _Home today. I'm a mess. Call when you have time – too much to text._

Nolan drove to the apartment complex and parked where he had dropped Lissa off the previous night. He sat in the Enclave, desperately trying to figure out his next move. After half an hour, he decided to send her a text. He kept it simple, _Would really like to talk. I feel horrible about last night. I love you so much._

Lissa received the text as she was sobbing on Clarisse's shoulder. Except for a few brief periods of sleep, Lissa had spent the night crying. Clarisse tried her best to stay awake, finally surrendering to sleep around 3am when she encouraged Lissa to sit on her bed snuggled next to her. As only a mother could manage, Clarisse was awake and making breakfast by 6 am. By 6:15, Lissa was sobbing uncontrollably once again. She clenched her fingers tightly onto Clarisse's robe.

Clarisse picked up Lissa's phone and announced calmly, "Honey, Nolan sent a text. Do you want me to read it to you?" Lissa nodded, her head buried in the crease below Clarisse's shoulder. Reading the words, Clarisse commentated, "Baby Girl…"

Raising her head and wiping her tears, Lissa reached for the phone. She quickly typed out a response, then deleted it. Repeating the procedure four times, she finally found the right words on the fifth try, _Same here._

 _When?_ Nolan responded.

 _Later. I'm a mess. I'll text,_ Lissa instructed.

 _I don't care if you're a mess,_ Nolan typed back.

Lissa let out a single chuckle as she read Nolan's words. "He wants to talk," she told Clarisse.

"Are you sure that's for the best?" Clarisse asked.

"What do you mean?" Lissa wondered aloud.

"A couple hours ago, he was the worst human being on the planet. Now, you can't wait to run into his arms," Clarisse stated. "Larissa, ask yourself what _you_ really want. Deep down."

"I don't know what to do without Nolan weighing in," Lissa admitted.

"That might be the core problem, Larissa. If you ask me, you need to figure out who _you_ are," Clarisse advised wisely. "To do that, you'll need some space."

"Maybe," Lissa wondered. After pausing for a minute, she declared, "I'm going to see him. When I do, I'll know what to do next." She picked up her phone and typed out, _Whenever I guess. I'm at the apartment._

 _I'm parked outside. Want to come down here or should I come up there?_ Nolan questioned.

She didn't respond. Instead, she walked down and sheepishly looked at Nolan as she leaned her head toward the window of the Enclave. Nolan hopped out and opened the door for her, whispering, "I'm glad you're here."

"Same," Lissa whispered. "Thanks for texting me."

Nolan returned to the driver's seat. "I didn't want to take a break after we left each other on such a sour note last night," he explained.

"You didn't want to take a break after everything happened or you didn't want to start a break on such a bad note?" Lissa sought to clarify.

"Yes," Nolan chuckled.

"Me too. That's where I'm at," Lissa confessed.

With his hand shaking, Nolan reached over to Lissa's face and gently rubbed his thumb under one of her eyes, "You've really been crying. I'm so sorry."

Looking down at her lap, Lissa sputtered, "Nole… I think taking a break might be a good idea. And I'm going to ask about moving back in with my mom."

"October 20th then," Nolan confirmed sadly.

"I guess so," Lissa mumbled.

"I love you, Larissa," Nolan proclaimed.

Larissa glanced up at him through her swollen eyes. She whispered, "I love you too, Nole." She reached out and put her hands on Nolan's cheeks. Pulling toward him, she kissed him with closed lips and promised, "October 20th."

"October 20th," Nolan echoed softly as he watched Larissa step out of the car and turn the corner into the courtyard.

As Nolan sat frozen in the seat, Lissa walked back to Clarisse's apartment feeling two inches taller and more self-assured than she ever had. Without a doubt, she thought to herself, she'd made the right choice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Later that night, Amelia arrived home before Owen. She went directly to the computer in her bedroom. When Owen returned after his shift, he searched around the house looking for his wife.

"What are you working on, Beautiful?" Owen asked as he bent over Amelia's shoulder and kissed her cheek. She was hyper-focused on the computer screen as the printer spit out page after page of printed data.

"You'll see soon enough," Amelia coyly sang as she leaned closer to the screen to examine a note at the bottom of a page.

Intrigued, Owen smiled and leaned against the wall watching his wife. She said nothing as she gathered and sorted papers, stapling some together and setting others aside as the rest of their document printed. Once the packets were stapled to their mates, the packets were sorted into one of five stacks.

After each stack held ample data, Amelia rolled back in her chair and smiled proudly at Owen.

"What?" Owen laughed.

"I have collected a bevy of information for you," Amelia declared as she folded her arms and leaned back in the chair.

"About?" Owen asked as he voiced the word slowly.

"This pile," she explained as she picked up the first stack, "has to do with legalities." Owen was puzzled but maintained eye contact as she grabbed the next two stacks, "This one is personal accounts and this one covers brain development studies. The stack over here includes physician analysis and journal articles."

"For…?"Owen tilted his head and leaned toward her.

"Spanking," Amelia nodded with a slight grin. "Five years ago, I shared reasons from my heart and my own brain regarding my opinion on spanking the kids. That didn't work. This time, I thought I'd try a different approach." She stood up and motioned to the desk chair, continuing, "So have a seat and pick a pile, then start reading."

Owen humored his wife and sat down as he moved his glance between the stacks and Amelia. "You want me to read all this?"

Folding her arms and grinning, Amelia offered, "It's either that or we can fight about the topic all over again. That might be fun, actually… it's been a while since we covered that territory."

Blinking slowly, Owen reluctantly grabbed a stack and began glancing through the packets.

"Oh no," Amelia instructed as she wagged her finger. "You can't just glimpse. _Read. Read it_ like you're back in residency studying for the boards."

"Don't you think we have better ways to spend our limited amount of time?" Owen pushed back.

"So you'd rather fight about it?" Amelia questioned.

Owen set all but one packet down and began reading. He opened a pencil drawer and grasped a red pen. Marking, underlining and writing notes in the margins, the scientist in him analyzed the material. After reviewing two pages of the first packet, Owen looked up and shook his head as he held the packet up. "This study is flawed on many levels. Do we have a stack for crappy, useless data?"

Rolling her eyes, Amelia fixed her gaze on her husband. "That's an exception. Set it aside and move to the next one."

Owen respected the methods used in the next article. He made notes in the margins and set the packet in a different pile than the first packet. After reading through the first stack and part of the second stack, he leaned back and sighed, "I could take an hour and find data concluding just the opposite, Mia."

"Are you sure about that?" she asked with a leading tone.

"Pretty much, yeah," Owen chuckled. "I appreciate your creativity and approach. I really do. However… sometimes parenting methods come down to personal approach and opinion."

"Would you say that to a resident who was learning how to perform a lap-coli?" she pushed.

"Actually, yes. Yes, I would," he pushed back with a laugh. "There's more than one way to effectively perform a lap-coli. Grey certainly performs them differently than I do. We're both capable surgeons."

Frowning, Amelia persisted, "What about if you were teaching a kid to ride a bike? If they don't pedal forward, they're not going anywhere. One way, pal. One way to pedal."

"Really? You're resorting to an oversimplified bike metaphor?" Owen laughed.

"Read the damn articles, Owen. Humor me," she stated firmly as she walked over to the bed and turned on the TV.

Owen looked up from a paper and cleared his throat, "Excuse me. I'm having trouble focusing on the corporal punishment laws in Alabama with the TV blaring."

Nearly pouting, Amelia turned off the TV and grabbed a book she hadn't read in months. The bookmark was halfway through the book, but she couldn't remember the story when she attempted to resume her efforts. Glancing up quickly to see if Owen was watching, she turned back a chapter hoping that re-reading a chapter would refresh her memory. Out of the corner of his eye, he noted her action and smiled.

"Daddddddyyyyy?" Olivia called out from the hallway.

"I'm in the office in my room, Red," Owen answered. She skipped in and peered around the corner with a smile. "What's up?"" Owen inquired with a smile.

"Can you help me with this reading? There's lots of big words and it's hard," Olivia requested.

Holding up his current packet, Owen smirked and explained, "Mommy wants me to read all these articles. Maybe she can help you."

Whispering, Olivia leaned in and disclosed, "Mommy gets crabby too quick. You're nicer."

"Come sit on my lap. You read and I'll read. When you get stuck, tell me," Owen gave in. He resumed his reading as Olivia read in a whisper, " _Harriett became very…"_ "Daddy, what's this word?"

"Take it apart, Liv. Are there words inside the big word that you recognize?" Owen asked without even looking at her book.

"Bus and like. _Harriett became very bus-eye-ness-like."_ She looked at her Daddy after leaning closer to the book, "What's that word mean?"

Setting his packet down, Owen pointed at the word 'business' and taught, "You nailed the ending - like is great. Cover that part of the word with your finger and see if you know what's left." Olivia remained stumped. Owen grabbed a piece of scratch paper and wrote the word 'busy' on it. "What's that say?"

"Busy," Olivia shrugged.

"See how the s sounds like a z? Try that with your word," Owen suggested. "And think about the different sounds an i can make."

"Bizz-eye… Bizz-eee… Busy-ness?" Olivia guessed.

"Close. This word's tricky. It's business – the i is silent," Owen explained.

"Argh…" Olivia grumbled as she hit her forehead with her hand, "I hate silent letters."

"Keep going, you're doing great. _Harriett became very businesslike._ What's that mean?" he challenged.

"Like serious and stuff?" Olivia hunched.

"Yeah, more formal and official," Owen added.

"That fits Harriett because she's kind of bossy," Olivia shared. She read along smoothly for a few sentences before stumbling on _intently gazing at the mossy lowlands._ With a giant sigh, Olivia leaned closer to the page and then pulled further out. Squinting and furrowing her brow, Olivia slightly whined, "I don't know the next four words. This is too hard."

Amelia, who had been observing from afar, inquired, "Livs, are the words hard or is it hard to see them?"

"Both," Olivia responded.

On a hunch, Amelia walked over and handed Olivia a pair of drugstore readers. "Try these on and see what happens."

"Wow," Olivia exclaimed with wonder. "The words aren't as fuzzy anymore." Looking at Owen, Olivia begged, "Daddy, can I get glasses?"


	13. Chapter 13 - Lost

**Chapter 13**

 **A Pivotal Year – Lost**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **Sunday, September 25**

Since Amelia didn't manage to have any time alone with Nolan on Saturday, she insisted that she be the one to take him to the airport on Sunday evening. After a delightful day as a family, complete with a picnic near the dock and games on the lawn, Nolan was tired and looking forward to catching a brief nap on the plane. Paying extra for more legroom on the plane ended up being a wise choice. He was praising himself internally for thinking of it.

"Do you mind if I ask you something that might be interpreted as intrusive?" Amelia began as they pulled through the front gate.

"Ask away," Nolan encouraged with a wink, "but I'm not promising I'll answer it."

"Fair enough," Amelia responded. After pausing about ten seconds to encourage herself, she questioned sadly, "What's going on with you and Lissa?"

"Umm…" Nolan responded. He thought deliberately, resting his elbow on the car door and his head in his hand. "It's complicated."

"Yeah," Amelia sighed before having an epiphany about what to ask next, "Complicated as in it'll take a chunk of time to tell the story or complicated as in, 'Mom, please mind your own business'?"

Nolan chuckled, "Complicated as in I'm not sure where to start."

"How about starting at the point where Lissa arranged to stay with Clarisse," Amelia prompted.

"Nah, a lot led up to that," Nolan clarified.

"Are you stalling so you end up running out of time before we arrive at the airport?" Amelia teased as she grinned. She glanced at her son out of the corner of her eyes.

"I'm not," Nolan chuckled again. "Let's see… the short version goes like this: I arrived at St. Francis to surprise her. Dad let me borrow this car and I thought that'd be fun. After waiting and waiting, Ryder came over and told me Lissa was in detention. Mom… Lissa _never_ does a damn thing to get in trouble at school. Her friends actually make fun of her for being teacher's pet."

"I know," Amelia affirmed.

"Anyway, it was a pain in the ass to wait for her, but I could've blown that off. Then I learn that she spent the night at John's. I'll be honest, I truly didn't think the two of them did anything. I didn't think she cheated on me – that didn't even enter my mind. Even so, I was really enraged. I'm not even sure why," Nolan summarized before pausing.

"Been there," Amelia quipped. "Feeling intense without being able to sort it out. Phew… glad that doesn't happen to me anymore."

"Why doesn't it happen anymore?" Nolan wondered.

"Because I quit taking oxy and drinking," Amelia shrugged.

"Ah…that's not very helpful, Mom," Nolan responded. "Anyway… when she finally finished detention, we had a nice, brief reunion. Then we arrived at home. Everything started out copacetic, but then it went south fast. She wasn't herself. She snapped at me and called me names. I was stunned." After exhaling loudly, Nolan resumed, "I snapped back and walked outside, then the kids and I headed to the treehouse. Poor Lucas was completely bummed that Lissa wasn't there. He kind of idolizes her, doesn't he?"

"Yep, he does. Sometimes I wonder if he has a little preschooler crush on her," Amelia giggled.

"Awww, Lukie. He's so damn cute," Nolan replied with a smile. "Back to the story…we were at the tree house and Annabelle was a little bitch, so I dragged her up to the house. She was screaming and ranting. When Liss heard the commotion, she popped into the hallway to find out what was up. We sat on the steps and had this really sweet interchange. Then she started bossing me around and becoming all insistent. I said 'long story short' earlier, didn't I?"

Laughing, Amelia confirmed, "You did, but we've still got some time. Keep going."

"At some point in the whole debacle, I told Liss to just spit it out if she wanted to break up. She became teary and emotional, which pissed me off. By that point, I was so frustrated. I was wondering why I'd even come home. Later, we drove to the dock and never left the car. We had another fight and were at each other's throats. Then she texted Clarisse. That's the medium version of the long story," Nolan kidded as he concluded.

"Did you guys break up? Where are you now?" Amelia pressed.

"We're taking a break until she comes down to USC on October 20th," Nolan clarified.

"Ugh. That's not going to work," Amelia grumbled.

"What do you mean?" Nolan inquired.

Amelia explained, "The night before you arrived, Lissa, Dad and I had a huge argument. Liv had found a pregnancy test in Lissa's bathroom awhile back and worked up the courage to bring it to me. We asked – actually, kind of interrogated – her, asking if the two of you were having intercourse and she insisted you hadn't. We jumped to the conclusion that she was lying and, rightfully so, she became upset. Instead of dialing it back like she normally would, she went off the deep end and dropped the f-bomb a few times right in Dad's face."

"Holy crap…" Nolan replied slowly. "I would've liked to have seen that. I mean, not really, but, you know. Seeing her like that would be like a Twilight Zone kind of thing. And I can't even begin to imagine Dad's reaction and facial expression. Did he nearly pull some GI Joe move on her?"

"No," Amelia chuckled. "No Army tricks. He did yell for her to get her ass back in the house, which I found fairly shocking. His reaction was pretty over the top. I talked him down and she drove off. Somehow, she connected with John or invited herself over or something. I really don't know what transpired."

"She called me and I was an ass. I blew her off. She was emotional. I wasn't patient with her," Nolan disclosed with regret. "I wish I could experience that phone call again and…"

"Say something different," Amelia interrupted and concluded his sentence.

"Exactly," Nolan nodded. He began breathing more rapidly, and Amelia noticed out of the corner of her eye. She provided a safe space for him to fall apart and let the silence linger as she focused on the road.

A minute or two later, Amelia heard Nolan suck in a big breath and let out a telltale inward sigh that he was crying. While her heart shattered into pieces, Amelia knew that the best way she could help him was to pretend like she heard nothing. Nolan could be so proud at times. Years had passed since Amelia had last seen Nolan shed tears. His phenomenal ability to control himself, often a true gift, could become a serious downfall at times. Nolan placed a high priority upon being fairly emotionally guarded.

Surprisingly, he eeked out as he cried from deep within, "Mom, what the hell did I do?"

She reached out and gently grasped his hand, "Oh, Nole… heartbreak sucks."

Gasping in a series of brief and shallow breaths, Nolan continued to cry as he spoke, "I love her so much. Mom, I don't want to lose her."

"I know," Amelia empathized.

"What am I going to do?" he asked desperately as his voice broke.

Amelia pursed her lips as tears welled in her eyes. "I have no magic answers, Nolan. I wish I did. I could tell you what I would do, but you need to do what comes from your heart. Lean into the emotions and the pain – don't stay in your head."

"If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black," he simultaneously laughed and wept.

"Guilty," Amelia admitted. "That's why I'm so qualified to offer the advice – I've f #$ed that part up way too many times."

Calming down but continuing to weep, Nolan repeated, "I love her… so much. I want to marry her. Have kids with her. Be with her the rest of our lives."

"I know," Amelia quipped briefly, leaving space for Nolan to process.

"Do I call her or text her to tell her when I'm back at USC? Like a 'home safely' kind of message. Or do I go mute completely until October 20th?" Nolan wondered aloud. "Oh, you said something about October 20th being a problem. What's that about?"

With a wince, Amelia shared, "Dad and I talked about Lissa's behavior and decided to set aside dealing with it until you went back to USC. Now you're going back to USC and we planned on telling her that she was not going to be allowed to go to USC in October like you two had planned."

"Mom…" Nolan slowly begged, "Please. Please don't mess up our arrangement. I really, totally understand you want to prove a huge point, but… just, please, Mom."

"Oh, Nolan," Amelia responded, "I hear you. I don't know what to say. I'll talk to Dad about it."

"Mom, please. You guys have to figure out another option. Lissa and I…" Nolan paused as he attempted to gather his thoughts. "Please. I try really hard to avoid interfering with the whole weird 'you're Lissa's parents' reality, but this… this is so important."

"I know, Nolan," Amelia reassured him as she exited the freeway. "I understand why you're asking us to reconsider. I promise that I'll talk to Dad as soon as I can. When I get home tonight, I'll pull him aside."

"Thanks, Mom," Nolan offered with sincerity. "I guess we're here," he observed with a bittersweet tone of voice.

"Yeah, I'll pull up to your airline," Amelia explained as if Nolan didn't anticipate her next action. "But I don't want to see you leave," she admitted with sadness.

"I both want to leave and want to stay," Nolan offered with a melancholy sigh.

Amelia pulled the car to the curb and moved the gear shift to 'park.' She sat back in the seat and looked at Nolan with a slightly pouty lower lip. "I love you, sweet boy," she proclaimed. "Send us some of that Southern California sunshine," she concluded with a grin.

"I'll do my best," Nolan chuckled as he stood up and locked his eyes on his mom. "I love you," he shared with deep sincerity.

After an uneventful security experience, Nolan walked toward his gate. The plane wouldn't begin boarding for another 45 minutes, so he decided to grab a soda before he sat down. When he returned to the gate, he selected a seat that faced the runway. Gazing outside and losing himself in the rhythm of take offs and landings, Nolan's mind began to rest. The frantic thoughts of 'what if' and 'will she still love me' were replaced with Amelia's reassuring quip that heartbreak sucks. Nolan began to wonder what Kayla would have said and then he imagined what Blake would have suggested.

The waiting area began to fill up as boarding time neared. A soft, feminine voice pulled Nolan out of his head as he heard, "May I sit here?"

"Absolutely. Sorry," he offered as he moved his backpack to the floor and grinned.

The young woman sat down with a small smile and noticed the t-shirt under Nolan's flannel button down, "USC fan?"

Nolan looked down, having forgotten what he was wearing. He chuckled softly and offered, "Oh, yeah. Actually, I'm in my first year there."

"Seriously?" the girl questioned as she sat a little taller and leaned toward him a touch. "I'm a sophomore."

"No way," Nolan smiled. "Small world, huh?"

"Where did you fly from?" she asked, assuming he was also transferring planes in Seattle.

"Umm… I'm flying from here to LA," Nolan responded with a hint of confusion.

"You're from Seattle?" she wondered.

"Yeah. Actually, originally from Victoria, B.C., but I've been in Seattle since I was in middle school. Long story," he clarified with eyes that hesitated to look away. "How about you?"

"I grew up in Madison, Wisconsin," she responded. "I'm Marta, by the way."

Extending his hand, Nolan smirked, "Hi Marta, I'm Nolan. Great to meet you."

The two continued conversing, sharing information about their majors, where they lived, and which classes they were taking. When Marta shared that she wasn't sure how she was going to make it through Statistics, Nolan offered to help her without giving his words a second thought. Coincidentally, the two ended up assigned to the same row, with the middle seat empty between them.

Once they landed and Marta searched the signs so she could catch a bus back to USC, Nolan offered to give her a ride. "I'm a good guy, really," he reassured her with a slight laugh. "I know we just met, but…" he paused, unsure what else to say.

Marta laughed and reassured him that she wasn't worried. Since she'd checked a bag, the two walked to baggage claim before heading to the parking lot. When she mentioned that she saw her bag coming on the conveyor, Nolan confirmed which bag was hers and grabbed it for her. All along, as he offered to tutor and to provide a ride, Nolan was simply being Nolan. He had no idea his actions were making him more and more attractive by the second.

By the time Nolan pulled up in front of Marta's sorority, Marta was sure Nolan would ask for her number. He hopped out of his Jeep and unloaded her bag, stating, "Here you go. Give me a call if you get stuck with your Statistics class."

"I'd love to," Marta slightly flirted, although Nolan was oblivious to her efforts, "but I don't have your number."

"Oh, that might help, huh?" Nolan kidded as he recited his cell number.

She punched in his number as he shared it, then sent him a text as she explained, "There, now you have my number too."

Nolan's phone sounded in his shirt pocket. He pulled it out and confirmed, "I sure do," Nolan stated as he extended his hand and concluded with, "Take care, Marta."

When Nolan returned to his room, he unpacked and fell onto the bed as he began throwing his favorite Nerf ball against the ceiling. His sullen mood in the car had transformed into contentment as he thought about how nice it was to have made a new friend at USC. Texting Lissa that he'd arrived safely was no longer on his mind.

Meanwhile, back in Seattle, Amelia drove home and attempted to brainstorm other options to address the night Lissa flipped out and ended up at John's house. The cussing, especially in front of the littles, was one concern. Larger than that, driving away in a huff hadn't helped the situation at all. The familiar routine of taking away her car, her phone, and her freedom seemed ineffective. Was there another option that would have more of an impact?

"Hi, Handsome," Amelia purred as she walked in the house and wrapped her arms around Owen.

With a bowl of popcorn in his hand, he stopped and kissed her hair, "Hey. Come join us, we're watching Nemo."

"I'll go change first and be back down in a few," Amelia decided. "Save me a spot."

"Right next to me," Owen chuckled as he proceeded to the play room. When he walked around the couch and sat down, he explained, "Mom's home. She'll be down in a minute. Does everyone have what they need before we start the movie? Anyone need the bathroom?"

"I need puppy!" Lucas exclaimed as he ran out of the room and toward the stairs. Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, he bellowed, "Mommy! Can you bring puppy blanky with you?"

"Magic word?" Amelia called back.

"Please, please, please, my beautiful mommy," Lucas charmed.

Amelia came toward the stairs, holding puppy. "That was your best 'please' ever, Mister."

Lucas giggled as he reached for puppy and then reached to be carried. Instead, Amelia grasped his hand and they proceeded to join the others. When Amelia snuggled next to Owen, all three littles and Olivia attempted to rush to the spot next to her. Olivia, being older and bigger, subtly shoved her way into the spot as Lucas settled on Owen's lap. Anna pulled Ria away from the spot next to Olivia and the two redheaded girls were beside one another.

Owen, noticing Ria was searching for just the right spot, suggested, "Victoria, Daddy has an arm over here and nobody to hug with it. Will you sit by me?" Victoria smiled and nodded her head as she shuffled over by Owen.

As the movie started, Lucas provided a running commentary of each scene and what would happen next. When the time came for Nemo's first day of school, Lucas pointed out each fish and laughed about the big stingray teacher. He shared, "I wish my teacher was a fish and that we could do that!"

Anna, having tolerated far more than usual, leaned toward Lucas and abruptly hissed, "Shhhh!"

"I'm telling the story, Anna. Leave me alone," Lucas protested.

"I can't hear the movie because you won't stop talking," she explained with mounting frustration.

Lucas pointed out, "I'm super good at telling this story, so be quiet and listen."

"Luke, the scene where Nemo loses his daddy is coming up," Amelia interjected.

Lucas immediately covered his eyes with his fingers and peeked through them. "This part is my not favoritist."

"Least favorite," Olivia sighed as she rubbed her eyes.

Burying his cheek in Owen's chest, Lucas mumbled, "I don't ever want to get lost from you, Daddy. Never ever." Owen leaned down and kissed the top of Lucas' head then glanced toward Ria and shared a wink.

After watching the movie in silence for a few minutes, Lucas piped up, "Did we lose Lissa? Cause she's not home and I miss her."

"She's coming home tonight, buddy," Owen assured his son.

Amelia shot a quick glance in Owen's direction and mouthed, _She is?_ Owen nodded and pointed his head toward his phone that lay on the coffee table.

"Where's Ryder?" Ria inquired with a hint of sadness.

"In his room," Owen stated. "I can pause the movie if you want to go get him." Ria jumped down and headed up the stairs with joy. She knocked on Ryder's door and heard him talking.

"What?" Ryder responded.

"Can I come in? It's Victoria," she asked.

"I guess," Ryder stated without emotion.

When Ria opened the door, she saw Lissa sitting on Ryder's bed and Ryder sitting in his desk chair. Lissa was wiping away tears and attempting to smile as she greeted Ria.

"Why are you crying?" Victoria asked with lowered, concerned brows. She walked toward Lissa and stroked her arm.

Lissa smirked and put her arm around the little girl. "Sweetie, I'm just a little sad about something. Don't worry about me, though, I'll be ok."

"Can I give you a big, giant hug?" Ria requested as she spread her arms wide.

"I'd love that," Lissa smiled softly as the two embraced. Ryder, ever the ultra-sensitive romantic, began humming music that sounded like something from a soap opera. Lissa grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.

"Are you guys coming?" Owen hollered from the living room.

"What's he talking about?" Ryder wondered as he looked at his little sister.

"I was pusposed to invite you to watch Nemo with us. Everyone is downstairs," Ria detailed. "Lissa, will you come too?"

"Yeah," Lissa agreed with hesitation. "Sure. C'mon Ry, if I'm going, you are too."

Within a few minutes, Ryder was stretched out along one side of the sectional with Ria snuggled beside him under a blanket. Lissa, curled into a ball with her head resting on the outer corner of the other side, was silent but present. After he tucked a blanket around her, Lucas burrowed next to her and rested his head on her arm. Sensing an opening, Anna moved over to Owen's side as his arm enveloped her in love.

Texting while watching the movie, Lissa was seeking Linnea and Piper's advice about whether or not to text Nolan.

 _Absolutely not!_ Piper insisted.

Linnea weighed in, _I think you should. Just be brief, like 'Made it back safely?'_

 _Don't want to seem desperate,_ Lissa ruminated.

 _But if you don't, you might seem like you don't care,_ Linnea considered.

"Liss… let's put phones away while we're watching the movie," Amelia gently instructed.

Lissa flopped her head onto the couch cushion and mumbled, "I was going to text Nolan."

"What was that?" Owen inquired, not sure if he'd missed something of significance or some sort of commentary.

"She said she was going to text Nolan," Ryder quipped.

"Oh," Owen blinked. "That's ok, then, I guess. But make it quick or step out, please."

 _Back in LA safely?_ Lissa typed. She stared at the text and switched her gaze between it and the movie.

Lucas, thinking he was helping, pushed the 'send' button and explained, "Don't forget, you have to push this so he can get the message."

Lissa gasped and raised her head up quickly, "Umm…"

With his round blue eyes fixated on Lissa, Lucas responded with concern, "Are you sad?"

"No, sweetie, no. I just wasn't sure I was ready to send it. It's okay," Lissa offered. "But I was ready. Thanks, Lukie." Lucas rested his head on Lissa's lap as he yawned. She twisted his curls around her fingers and returned to watching the movie.

When Nolan received Lissa's text, he was surprised. He had imagined that he would be the one to reach out first. Just the same, he was touched that she reached out. He typed out draft after draft before finally settling on, _Yep. Safe and sound. Take care._

Unsure if she should respond or not, Lissa set the phone down and cuddled with Lucas as they watched Dorrie advise, "Just keep swimming." The advice meant for Nemo seemed to fit Lissa as well.


	14. Chapter 14 - Sorry, the Answer is No

**Chapter 14**

 **A Pivotal Year – Sorry, the Answer is No**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **Monday, September 26 and Tuesday, September 27**

Amelia and Owen managed to eat lunch together at the hospital on Monday. After she shared details about her conversation with Nolan, she explained her concern about taking the October 20 USC trip away from Lissa. As she concluded, Amelia looked at Owen with pleading eyes.

"Damn," Owen grumbled. "That seemed like such a great option – one that would possibly knock some sense into her. But I know you're right. We can't take that away now."

"We could, but we'd be the worst ogres on Earth," Amelia grinned as she reached over and scooped up a spoonful of Owen's yogurt.

"We would," Owen agreed as he glanced down at his yogurt. "Any ideas about what to do instead?"

"She took off in the car, so we could take that away. The language was out of hand…" Amelia paused and tilted her head. She raised an eyebrow before adding, "maybe we could duct tape her mouth closed for a few days."

Chuckling, Owen suggested, "Sutures might hold better."

"True," Amelia nodded with a precocious grin.

"Let's definitely take away driving for a week or two. Maybe we should ask her what she thinks would be appropriate for the language," Owen hunched.

"She'll say it's not worthy of punishment," Amelia quipped.

"Maybe…maybe not," Owen shrugged. "We'll suggest taking the cell phone for three days, but give her a chance to suggest other options for consideration."

Later that evening, Owen and Amelia asked Lissa to sit down with them. Calmly, Owen explained the decisions, and mentioned what the original consequence was going to be. Lissa openly breathed an audible sigh of relief upon learning October 20th's plans were still in place.

When Owen asked Lissa if she wanted to brainstorm other ideas besides handing over her cell phone for a few days, she responded, "That seems fair. I don't have any other ideas anyway, but I do want to talk about something else." Much to Owen and Amelia's surprise, Lissa requested that she be able to move in with Clarisse. She had obviously thought through the topic a great deal and provided her reasons and insights.

Owen sighed and ran his hand through his hair, sharing, "Lissa, we aren't authorized to make that kind of decision."

"Aren't authorized or just looking for an easy way to tell me 'no'?" Lissa pushed.

Owen sighed heavily, attempting to keep his cool. "What did I say, Larissa?"

"That you aren't authorized," she parroted.

"Right," Owen responded as he bore his eyes into hers impatiently.

"Couldn't you talk to my case worker about it, though? Maybe she could approve it," Lissa suggested.

"Lissa, it's far more complicated than that," Amelia explained. "If the caseworker agreed with the request, she'd have to take the request before the judge. If the judge agreed to hear the case, we'd have to wait for a court date. By the time we had a hearing, you'd already be 18 or very close to it."

"So I'm stuck here?" Lissa questioned wistfully, not meaning to be rude or insensitive whatsoever. Any sense of enthusiasm or hope disappeared as she deflated in the face of reality.

"That's one way to view it," Amelia affirmed. With a smile, she continued, "I'd prefer to celebrate that we still have you here with us."

"When I'm 18, I can move out?" Lissa sought to clarify.

"Yes and no," Owen interjected. "You'll need to think about what's in your best interests. If you exit the foster system before you graduate, chances are high that you won't receive the same financial aid from a college that you will if you're living with your mom. Can we set that aside and revisit it later? I'd prefer we focus on one topic at a time."

"I guess," Lissa shrugged as she locked her gaze on the floor. "What's the one topic?"

"We were discussing the possibility of you moving in with your mom," Owen stated.

"I thought you already said no to that. Is there more that needs to be said?" Lissa asked in genuine confusion.

"We want to be here for you, Liss. How are you feeling about it?" Amelia attempted to express her compassion.

"I'm bummed. I want to be with my mom," Lissa responded plainly as she focused on her shoes.

"I know," Amelia affirmed with a slight nod.

"Are we done here?" Lissa, distracted, asked honestly.

"Umm… we could be. We were hoping to catch up with you. Lately, we've had a hard time finding opportunities to be together," Owen mused.

"I'm not in a great space. I'm fine agreeing to stay here, not drive, not use my phone, whatever, but I'd like some time to chill. The last few days have been kind of rough," Larissa admitted.

"Do you want to tell us about that, hon?" Amelia questioned with loving concern.

"Not really," Lissa responded with a grimace.

Owen made brief eye contact with Amelia, then suggested, "How about if we talk tomorrow after school? I'll be home around 4:00 tomorrow. Mia, what's your schedule?"

"I'm booked solid with surgeries," Amelia disclosed. "But you two can meet without me." Terror struck both Owen's and Lissa's faces at the thought of meeting without Amelia as mediator.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~```'

Later the same night, Marta spotted Nolan in the USC library. Her smitten heart sped up as she walked fast to catch up to him.

As he put his backpack around one shoulder, Marta slid near him and whispered, "Hey, Nolan."

He smiled when he saw his new friend. "Hey! Good to see you. What's up?"

"Heading home. I've been studying for an exam I have tomorrow and I'm beat," she explained.

"It's dark. Do you feel safe walking alone? I'd be happy to walk you home," Nolan offered.

Marta lowered her shoulders and softened her stance, touched by Nolan's thoughtfulness. "You have time?" she inquired.

"It's not that far out of my way," he grinned. The two walked toward Marta's sorority and chatted about their classes and workloads. Conversation came naturally between the two of them, with laughter sprinkled amidst their words.

When Nolan and Marta reached the outside of the sorority, she smiled as she expressed, "Thank you, Nolan. I appreciated the company and your service as a bodyguard."

"First time is free, Marta," he kidded. "Fees for future trips vary depending on time of day and dangers faced."

"I'll keep that in mind," Marta giggled as an awkward pause arose between them.

Nolan broke the silence, "Good luck on your test tomorrow."

"Thanks," Marta responded softly as she grasped his hand and hugged him.

Surprised, Nolan returned the hug briefly. He smiled and explained, "I'd better get back to my dorm."

Marta stood still and looked at Nolan. Working up her courage, she suggested, "Do you want to grab dinner tomorrow? Maybe we could stop running into each other in random places and actually plan to meet up?"

Nolan set his backpack on the ground. He smiled and lied, "Thanks for the offer. I… uh… well, I have plans. Maybe another time?" While a part of him would have loved making plans with Marta, another part of him continued to feel deeply connected with Lissa. He and Liss had not discussed what being on a break entailed, and they certainly had not discussed the possibility of seeing other people.

"I'll take what I can get," Marta teased. Instantly regretting the words that fell out of her mouth before her brain engaged, she continued, "Actually, never mind. I kind of thought I was sensing a connection between us. Now I'm just embarrassed."

"No need for that. I'm flattered," Nolan gently offered with care.

"Thanks again for walking me home," Marta smirked.

"No problem," Nolan called out as Marta turned to go inside.

 **Tuesday, September 27** **th**

When Owen pulled into the garage the next afternoon, he took a deep breath and attempted to center himself before connecting with Lissa. Although he'd try his best to hide it, he was anxious about spending time with her alone. He wasn't sure what they would discuss or what they'd do to pass the time. Sitting in his car, he tried to come up with some ideas.

The door to the house flew open as Victoria peeked into the garage and beamed when she saw Owen. She ran to the driver's door and jumped up and down, screaming happily, "Daddy!"

Owen stepped out of the Boxster and picked up his little girl, balancing her on his hip and offering a kiss. "How's my favorite five year old brunette?"

Leaning her head onto Owen's shoulder, Ria responded, "I'm super good. How's my favorite red headed daddy?"

Chuckling, Owen squeezed his little girl and responded, "I'm fantastic."

Ria announced, "I have a surprise for you."

"You do?" Owen replied with anticipation.

"When Miss Lynne took Ryder to soccer today, we went with her. Ryder's coach told Miss Lynne to tell you and Mama that he has a team for little kids," Ria explained.

"Great," Owen stated. "Lucas wants to join, huh?"

"Mmm Hmm, and me, too, Daddy," Ria smiled.

"Oh, sweetie, I don't know about that," Owen softly and slowly informed her. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"But the boys sometimes get hurt and you let them play," Ria pointed out.

"I do," Owen nodded. "But, Ree Ree, your leg is more fragile than their legs."

"So…" Ria shrugged as she widened her eyes. "You and Mommy always tell me that I can try almost anything."

Owen couldn't bear to say no to her. Instead, he suggested, "Let's talk to Mommy about it when she comes home." He set Ria down and she ran down the hallway.

"Dr. Hunt," Lynne greeted him as he walked toward the kitchen, "You're home early today."

"Hey, Lynne. Yeah, Lissa and I were going to spend some time together," Owen explained as he grabbed an apple out of the bowl on the counter and bit into it.

"Really?" Lynne questioned. "Dr. Hunt, she just left. Nolan's friend, John, picked her up."

"Oh…" Owen muttered, downtrodden. He smirked and added, "She must have forgotten. I'll send her a text."

"Did Victoria share her excitement with you?" Lynne asked.

"About soccer?" Owen attempted to clarify as he glanced up from his phone.

"Yes, she's quite excited about joining a team," Lynne explained.

Owen grimaced as he finished typing his text. He looked up at Lynne and whispered, "I'm not so sure about that."

"She's been doing so well, Dr. Hunt. I think she could try it out," Lynne opined.

"I don't know. I need to talk to my wife about it," Owen pondered aloud.

When Lissa received Owen's text that read, _Thought we were spending time together this aft,_ she sighed heavily.

"What's up?" John asked as he parked near the movie theater.

"Nolan's Dad… we'd kind of talked about spending time together today, but I didn't think it was for sure. Looks like he did," Lissa explained.

"Should I take you home?" John asked.

"Nah, let's go see the movie. I'll text him," Lissa responded. She typed out, _OMG, was that today?! Soooo sorry, Dads. At the movies with some friends._

Owen was disappointed when he read Lissa's text, but he didn't want to steal her away from her friends. Besides, just a few minutes earlier, he'd been wracking his brain trying to think of something they could do together. Responding to her note, he wrote, _No prob. Have fun and be safe. Home for dinner?_

 _Nope. By 8, tho. Promise,_ Lissa informed him.

By the time the texting back and forth concluded, John was leading Lissa to a seat in the theater. They sat down and he offered to step back to the concession stand and buy some popcorn and a soda. The previews had begun by the time he returned. He scooted down the row and sat next to Lissa as he handed her the soda he'd planned for them to share. Once he was settled in his seat, he balanced the popcorn between them. The movie began and both began munching on the popcorn.

At one point, they both reached for the popcorn at the same time, and John's hand ended up on top of Lissa's. He squeezed her hand briefly and she immediately pulled her empty hand away. John surmised that her reaction had been more from surprise than anything else.

Later, when a nerve wracking scene was shown, Lissa covered her eyes and leaned forward in her seat. John wrapped his arm around her and squeezed lightly as he whispered, "You ok, Liss?"

Lissa's blue eyes widened as she smiled awkwardly. She patted the hand that was resting on his shoulder, hoping to hint that he could remove his arm. Instead, John took it as a sign that she was encouraging him. He pulled her closer to him as the movie continued.

After about 20 seconds, Lissa figured out an escape plan and excused herself to the bathroom. Once she was in a stall, she leaned on the cold metal divider and sent a text to Piper that read, _Holy crap. At movies with John. He just put his arm around me._

Piper immediately responded, _The cat's away at USC… play little mouse._

 _Piper! Be serious. What should I do or say to him?_ Lissa wrote as she sought advice.

 _I thought you and N were on a break,_ Piper shared.

 _Yeah. So?_ Lissa replied.

 _So you're unattached then, right? Do you like John? If you do, then go for it,_ Piper suggested.

 _But I'm with Nolan. Always have been,_ Lissa argued.

 _Are you two on a break or not?_ Piper pushed.

Lissa wrote back, _we didn't talk about seeing others. I'm still WITH Nole…just laying low for a few weeks._

 _Then be straight with J. Not fair to let him think he's got a chance,_ Piper declared.

When Lissa returned to the theater and sat down, John smiled at her and returned his gaze to the screen. "You ok?" he whispered. Lissa nodded and smirked. She didn't reach for popcorn; instead, she leaned toward the outer armrest as the movie continued.

At 6:45, the two friends laughed and chatted on their way out of the theater. "Do you want to grab something to eat?" John asked.

After checking the time on her phone, Lissa grimaced, "I'd better get home. I have homework for English and History. Dads will want to make sure it's done, so I'm facing a deadline."

"I thought we had until about 8," John pointed out.

"I did too. I remembered the homework during the movie," Lissa shrugged. "Sorry."

"No, really. No problem," John responded as he opened the passenger door of his car for Lissa.

When he backed out of the space, John naturally put his arm out as he glanced behind him. Worried he'd been rebuffed during his earlier attempts, he attempted to bring it back to his side after shifting into drive. Instead of doing so in an uneventful move, his fingers brushed along Lissa's hair briefly as he moved his arm.

"Sorry," he offered instinctually.

"No problem," Lissa responded without thought. She grinned at John and held her eyes for a few brief seconds. When he peeked at her out of the corner of his eye, she slowly moved her head to face the passenger window. She couldn't put her finger on the feelings she was experiencing. Butterflies in the stomach was the closest metaphor that fit. Her feelings weren't like the natural, relaxed, and comfortable safety when she was with Nolan. They were more giddy and seemed involuntary.

Pulling into the driveway, John stopped the car and hopped out to open Lissa's door. By the time he reached the other side of the car, she was already in the process of standing up. Owen and Ryder happened to be in the front yard raking leaves into piles that Lucas jumped in with glee. Luke's "help" with yardwork was invaluable.

"Thanks for the movie," Lissa offered as she looked John in the eye.

His extended eye contact was compelling. He said softly with lowered brows and a shrug, "Absolutely. Anytime. Maybe we should make it a regular event."

"Then you'll have to let me pay sometimes," Lissa smiled as Owen approached.

"Hey, John, great to see you," Owen greeted with a wide grin as he placed a protective hand on Lissa's shoulder.

John exchanged handshakes with Owen and chatted with him briefly before excusing himself and saying goodbye to Lissa once again.

Once Lucas spotted Lissa, he ran up to her at full speed and announced, "You have to come with me, Lissy." He dragged her toward the leaves and instructed, "1 – 2 – 3, JUMP!" Joining in, Lissa jumped into the leaves. She grabbed Lucas and gently tickled him as they rolled around and giggled.

Ryder, appearing at the edge of the leaf pile with a rather serious and skeptical frown, folded his arms and glared down, asking, "So what's up with John?" Owen paused and leaned his ear toward the conversation when he heard the question.

"What do you mean?" Lissa asked with complete confusion.

"Did you have a nice date?" he persisted with concern.

Lissa rolled her eyes and stood up from the leaf pile. At her full 5'2", she came nowhere near Ryder's height. Even so, she hoped her point was clear, "Ryder, A. it wasn't a date, and B. mind your own business."

"Hmmph," Ryder responded as he returned to leaf raking. As he made his way toward Owen, he grumbled loud enough for his dad to hear, "If Nolan's girlfriend is cheating on him, then it _is_ my business."

Owen smirked slightly. While he was proud in one sense, he also found Ryder's statement peculiar and surprising. The boys seemed to harass and pester each other more than show genuine concern. Ryder's protective words proved that mutual care was present even if it was not always obvious.


	15. Chapter 15 - Checking In

**Chapter 15**

 **A Pivotal Year – Checking In**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **Thursday, October 7 and Friday, October 8**

On the way home from Back to School night, Owen and Amelia sat in the front of the Enclave mumbling quietly as they compared notes. They had visited with Lucas' teacher together, then Amelia proceeded to Lissa's and Ryder's teachers while Owen visited with the twins' teacher. Overall, the updates and conversations with instructors were positive and pleasing. Since Olivia's Back to School night was the following week and since she had no desire to visit St. Francis, Olivia played at a friend's house while the rest of the family headed to class.

"Victoria is managing to keep up with her peers without any problems whatsoever," Owen celebrated. "She's surpassing everyone's expectations physically. Her behavior is stellar. Her manners are impressive, her participation in class is laudable, and she's making new friends. Her teacher had only positive comments to share and no concerns."

"Gotta love the positive reports," Amelia smiled.

Owen grinned and admitted, "I'm almost embarrassed about how concerned I was a month ago when school started."

"In my gut, I knew she'd do well," Amelia shared. "She has a serene determination that will suit her well in the years to come. I've always seen that in her – never a complaint, only gentle persistence. What about Annabelle?"

"Let's come back to that one," Owen suggested in a muffled voice as he gritted his teeth, opened his lips slightly and inhaled deeply.

Amelia's brows gathered toward the bridge of her nose and lowered toward her eyes with concern. After nodding, she shared, "Ryder's report was similar to Ria's – all of his teachers are very impressed, he's receiving all A's. I was told more than once that he is an insightful student with impeccable manners. I'm not sure where the Ryder we know and love at home goes during the school day, but he's obviously swapping his body with an amazing stand in."

Taking his eyes off the road briefly, Owen smiled and glanced at Amelia. He inquired, "Any more news about the Navy opportunities?"

"Oh, yeah," Amelia recalled. "He's been accepted for four weeks during the summer, including the flight simulation week. He doesn't know it yet. The announcement will be made Monday at an assembly. Once he learns that news, the goofy, smiling, exuberant Ryder of years ago might just reappear."

"Mia… that is such great news. Oh wow," Owen responded as he hit the steering wheel in celebration. "I'm… I'm really proud of him."

"Me too," she shared. "What's your schedule like at 9:00am on Monday? It would be great to be there."

"Damn. I have a meeting with the Gen Surg docs. I'll make some calls and see if I can reschedule," he promised. "When I reviewed the tentative schedule yesterday, you were scheduled for a glioblastoma removal at 7:00 am."

"I know," Amelia sighed. "It's in the parietal lobe. Second occurrence. The surgery will take at least six hours. Any chance we could reschedule it to 11:00 am, Chief?" She winked as she asked the question.

With a chuckle, Owen assured her, "I'll check the schedule when we're back at home. I have no idea off the top of my head."

"I'd be very grateful," she purred.

"Yeah? How grateful?" he teased.

"Very, very grateful," Amelia envisioned.

"Mmm," Owen imagined. "I'll do my best to reschedule that surgery, Doctor."

The family stopped to pick up Olivia, and she immediately shared stories about her evening. Her descriptive storytelling captivated the littles the rest of the drive. While Olivia entertained her younger siblings, Owen checked on the other updates, "What's the news about Lissa? Is she doing well?"

"She is," Amelia reported with a hint of reluctance. "Her grades could be a bit higher, but she's plugging along."

"I don't like the sound of that," Owen commented.

Amelia reached over and patted his arm with her hand, "Let me worry about it for now, O. Coming down hard and strict isn't going to help right now." Hoping to take the focus off Lissa, Amelia celebrated, "I'm proud of Lucas. He seems to be jumping right in to 4K. I loved the teacher's description, 'Playful but sharp' and 'intelligent yet needs more focus.' He _is_ four after all – aren't all four year olds expected to be playful and unfocused?"

"Who knows," Owen mused as he shrugged. He didn't seem concerned at all about the report from Lucas' teacher. Recalling news he'd neglected to mention, Owen added, "The twins' teacher did ask me when they last had eye exams. I guess she's encouraging all Kindergarten families to stay up on that."

"When I made Olivia's appointment the other day, I actually went ahead and scheduled all the littles and Ryder as well. Lissa assures me her vision isn't giving her any challenges."

"Maybe she could go along to help you corral the troops. You'll have your hands full," Owen suggested.

"Who said I'm taking them?" she teased.

When Owen drove into the garage, the kids all popped out of the Enclave and headed inside. Owen put his arm around Amelia and whispered, "Looks like we're doing fairly well with this parenting gig."

"Guess so," she grinned back.

"I want to hear more about Liss, and I need to tell you about Anna," he pointed out as they walked inside. "Let's meet up after the kids are in bed. I'll take the twins if you'll take Luke."

After baths and stories, the littles settled down without challenge. All three were tired from the evening's excitement and were already up past bedtime. Lucas snuggled with Amelia and reported that he wished he could stay in 4K forever. As he described his hopes, his heavy eyelids surrendered to sleep midsentence. After holding her sleeping baby and beholding his sweet face for a few quiet moments, Amelia slipped off the bed and tucked him in.

Owen's task was a bit more work. After brushing out the girls' long hair, panic ensued when the Cinderella nightie couldn't be found. All other options were out of the question as far as Anna was concerned. She was convinced that she could only sleep in something with Cinderella on it. Ria saved the day when she lent her twin a set of Cinderella PJs. In all the years Owen had envisioned fatherhood, he'd never imagined that bedtime would be delayed by a Disney character.

Stepping into the hallway simultaneously, Owen and Amelia smiled at one another. "Fancy meeting you here, handsome. Do you come here often?" Amelia flirted.

Owen wrapped his arm around his wife and kissed the top of her head. Out of the blue, he mused sweetly, "I love you, Amelia Shepherd."

Her eyes drifted up as a coy grin covered her face. As she leaned into Owen's chest and kidded, "You're not so bad yourself, Owen Hunt."

After checking on Olivia, who was deeply engrossed by a book about ballet, the couple headed to Ryder's room where he and Lissa were chatting. "Don't lose track of time, guys," Owen advised. "You still have school tomorrow."

"No worries," Lissa assured him. "We won't." From the time Lissa was in 7th grade, Clarisse had never set a bedtime. Clarisse figured that the natural consequences of being sleepy the next day were enough to encourage a reasonable bedtime, and Lissa self-managed effectively. After months of living at the Shepherd Hunts, Lissa still grumbled internally at the many rules. A set bedtime was especially annoying to her. At 9:30, everyone who wasn't already in bed because of an earlier bedtime was expected to be in his or her room and all electronics were expected to be turned off. By 10:00, lights were out.

After making their rounds, Owen and Amelia headed downstairs to finish catching up. "Anna is having some problems with patience," Owen disclosed. "The teacher also told me Anna regularly becomes insistent and headstrong."

"She's our fighter," Amelia mused as she remembered the tiny preemie who defied the odds and fought for her life.

"What served her well in the NICU is tripping her up in Kindergarten," Owen pointed out. "The teacher mentioned that Anna's particularly bossy toward Ria, and she wants our consent to separate the girls into two different classrooms."

"Sounds reasonable. Who gets the new teacher and has to deal with the transition?" Amelia wondered.

"Good question. I didn't get that far with details. There's more…" Owen warned. Amelia looked at Owen expectantly and he continued, "They'd like to have her screened for ADD."

"Hmm," Amelia pondered. "I suppose there's no harm in that, but I'll want our own doc to weigh in as well."

"Absolutely. It's often genetic – does your family have a history of it?" Owen inquired.

Amelia shrugged, "Not that I know of. I was reading an article the other day about preemies and later behavior challenges, though. I'll see if I can find it and bring you a copy."

After a huge sigh, Owen stated, "Now tell me about Miss Larissa."

"Owen, I don't want you to take the lead on this," Amelia insisted. "She's passing all her classes and most of her grades are Bs. A few teachers mentioned concerns that she seems a little sullen this year, and the theory is that Nolan's absence is weighing on her. Mrs. Donington pulled me aside to let me know that Liss had met with the academic counselor to find out if she was eligible to graduate at the end of the term."

"What?" Owen shook his head. "What's that about?"

"I think it's about Lissa wanting to be on her own, but who knows," Amelia put forth.

"I want to talk to her about that," Owen stated.

"I'll talk to her," Amelia promised. "If you talk to her, the two of you will be at each other's throats. Lord knows we don't need that drama. Trust me, O. I'll keep you in the loop. I swear."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

 **October 8** **th**

As tiny Ria sat on a booster seat in the eye doctor's office, she leaned toward the phoropter just as she'd been shown. For whatever reason, Anna had pitched a fit and decided she was afraid of having an eye exam. Amelia suggested that Anna watch Ria's exam, hoping she'd be reassured that the exam would be painless.

"Which is clearer…one?" the doctor inquired, "or two?"

Not receiving any attention, Anna tried to answer that both were the same as far as she could tell. Amelia put Anna on her lap and explained the way the lenses worked." The picture on the wall doesn't change, honey," Amelia detailed, "the lenses inside that black thing do."

"Two," Ria answered.

The series of this one or that one continued until the doctor slid back and informed Amelia, "She's in great shape. Her vision is 20/25, which doesn't warrant glasses. Unless she starts exhibiting any problems, I wouldn't worry about it." He turned to Anna with a smile and invited her to the chair, "Would you like to go next, Annabelle?"

"No," Anna grumbled as she held on to Amelia's arm.

"It's no big deal, Anna," Victoria assured her sister.

The doctor proposed, "How about if you sit on your mommy's lap to do the test?"

"I guess," Anna responded grudgingly.

Anna underwent the exam, answering the doctor's questions but pouting as she spoke.

"Let's try this… this one?" the eye doctor asked with one lens. "Or this one?"

"Neither. They're the same," Anna responded.

"Good. How about this one? Or this one?"

"Second one," Anna offered reluctantly as if she was inconvenienced by the experience.

"Let's try this set, Anna. I think we might be on to something here," the doctor revealed. "This one? Or this one?"

"The second one, for sure," Anna said with enthusiasm. "Can you leave it there? I can see super better with that one."

The doctor grinned at Amelia as he tried a few more options. After he was satisfied with the results, the doctor slid back and moved the phoropter away from Anna's face. "It appears that Anna is farsighted. Do you know what that means, Anna?"

"Nope," Anna replied as she folded her arms with skepticism.

"It means that when you are looking at something that is close to your eyes, it's hard to see clearly. When that happens, people wear glasses to help them see." The doctor explained as he wrote a prescription, "You only need to use the glasses when you're reading or working with something close to your face. When you're playing outside, looking at the white board at school, or watching TV, you won't need your glasses."

"You and Olivia will both have glasses," Amelia announced with enthusiasm as she attempted to sell the new experience to Anna. Olivia and Ryder had been examined first. Ryder's vision was actually better than 20/20 and the hunch that Olivia would need reading glasses was confirmed.

Shrugging her shoulders, Anna responded with ambivalence, "Mmm hmm."

Amelia led the twins back to the waiting room and left them in Lissa's care. Lissa and Ryder promised to help Olivia and Anna look at frames while Lucas was with the doctor.

Holding his mama's hand, Lucas followed the assistant to the exam room. "Two of my sisters need glasses. Do you think I need them?" he asked.

The assistant kneeled down to Lucas' level and shared, "Everybody's eyes are different so there's no way to guess. Do your mommy or daddy have glasses?"

"Only when they do operations sometimes," Lucas responded accurately as he attempted to describe the glasses by putting his hands into Os and placing them over his eyes. "They kinda look like regular glasses but then there are banocolors on top of the glasses part."

"Those are called loupes. Sometimes they even have lights attached to them," the assistant explained with wonder.

"Cool," Lucas responded with intrigue. "That's what I want if I need glasses – ones with lights on them."

Amelia and the assistant exchanged smiles. After helping Lucas onto the booster seat, Amelia sat in a nearby chair.

Warning her young patient, the assistant apologized, "Lucas, we need to put some drops in your eyes so the doctor can see inside your eye. Sometimes the drops feel funny because we're not used to having watery drops in our eyes. They can also sting a little."

"That's okay," Lucas declared as he sat up proudly, "I'm brave."

"Good," the assistant smiled. "Do you want to hold Mommy's hand while I do them?"

"Mama, would it help you if we held hands?" Lucas checked.

"Help me?" Amelia chuckled. "Actually," she continued with furrowed brows and a nod, "I think so. That way I won't be worried about my baby boy."

Lucas leaned toward Amelia and insistently whispered, "Mommy… I'm not a baby."

"Sorry," Amelia apologized with a grimace as she scooted over and grasped Luke's hand.

The assistant moved the exam chair so Lucas' head was tilted back. He closed his eyes softly, just as instructed and winced when the first drops went in. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes again, and waited for the drops to enter his second eye.

"What a great patient," the assistant celebrated. "No other four year olds have ever done that well. Excellent, Lucas!"

"Well, I'm a Hunt. We're like Superheroes," Lucas explained.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Later that evening, Nolan and Lissa spoke on the phone to confirm the details for October 20th. After texting back and forth, they both decided a phone call was the best way to proceed.

"Hey, Liss," Nolan began when she answered the phone.

"It's great to hear your voice…" Lissa shared with gentleness.

"Same," Nolan managed with as much agreement as he could muster. The longer the break went on, the more confused Nolan found himself. He deeply loved Lissa, but wondered more and more if they were growing apart. Still in high school, her life seemed so foreign. College, even in a few short months, had changed him.

"My plane lands at 1:20pm. I'll only have carry ons, so I can go right to the pickup area," Lissa offered. She warmly added, "It'll be so great to see you."

"Sounds good. LAX is so huge, Liss. How about if I meet you as close to the gate as I can?" Nolan suggested. "There are waiting areas right outside the security areas. I'll find out your gate and watch for you."

"Sounds great," Lissa smiled as her voice conveyed an upbeat tone. A slight pause arose and Lissa broke the silence by inquiring, "How have you been?"

"Good. Busy. Lots of homework, but good," Nolan stated briefly. "How about you?"

"Same old life, I guess. School is ok. Piper is as Piper as ever. Linnea misses Chris and talk about him all the time," Lissa laughed. Nolan chuckled but had no words to share. Lissa continued, "All the kids had eye exams today. Olivia and Anna ended up with reading glasses."

"Like their big brother, huh?" Nolan grinned as he sat at his desk and fingered his glasses.

"Not as handsome, but yeah," Lissa quipped.

"Hey, uh… I have a weird question for you," Nolan admitted as he changed the subject.

"What's that?" Lissa wondered.

"This break we're on… what's that mean for you?" he asked.

"Umm… that we're not speaking much, kind of taking a half step back I guess," she replied. "Why?"

"We never really talked about the details. You know, like whether or not we'd date other people or what our relationship would look like when you come to visit," Nolan detailed, trying to sound casual.

"Oh…" Lissa responded flatly with shock.

"It's awkward to discuss," Nolan acknowledged.

"Yeah…" Lissa muttered numbly.

Nolan closed his eyes as he inquired, "Are you ok, Shorty?"

"Umm… yeah. Sure," Lissa managed. "Just a little surprised, I guess."

"I'm sorry," Nolan apologized. "I was just hoping to clarify details."

"Yeah," she mumbled. Silence reemerged as the two both searched for words.

"Have you? Have you been dating?" she managed to voice.

"No," Nolan shared. "I'm tutoring someone and there have been a couple times when I could have headed that way, but I didn't."

"John took me to the movies awhile back. He put his arm around me and tried to hold my hand. It was… different than it is with you," Lissa exposed.

"Different good?" Nolan sought to clarify.

"No. Kinda weird, uncomfortable," she explained. Holding back tears and working diligently to keep her voice steady, Lissa mentioned, "If you want to date that girl before I come down, I'll understand. If… If that's what you thought the break meant…"

"I don't know what I thought it meant, Babe. I… uh… it'll be great to see you," Nolan, distracted and discombobulated, said.

"I miss you, Nolan," she eeked out softly.

"Less than two weeks… I'll see you then," Nolan promised. "I need to get to a study group, Liss. I'm sorry to cut this short."

"I understand," she comforted. "Feel free to call tomorrow or whatever."

"Yeah. Take care, Lissy," Nolan concluded as he hung up and prepared to meet Marta at the library to help her with Statistics.


	16. Chapter 16 - Make My Messes Matter

**Chapter 16**

 **A Pivotal Year – Make My Messes Matter**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **Friday, October 8**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~````'

When Marta spotted Nolan heading her way, she beamed. He sat down across from her, set his backpack down, and ran his hand through his hair, "Sorry, I'm late."

"I had a hell of a time fighting off all the students who wanted the table," she joked as she waved her hand around the nearly empty room.

Chuckling, Nolan raised his eyebrows, "Everyone else on campus has a life. We… we're a bit pathetic, studying on a Friday night."

Marta stood up and put her belongings in her bag. "Screw this," she declared. "Ice cream. It's calling to us."

Laughing, Nolan shrugged, "Ice cream?"

Grasping Nolan's hand, Marta led him out of the library and assured him, "I know just the place."

Once the two were out of the library, Nolan gently took his hand back and used it to adjust his backpack. They walked to the ice cream store and bought two ice cream cones.

"Mmm," Marta sounded happily, "You've gotta try this."

After licking his own ice cream cone, Nolan asked, "What flavor?"

"Bubble gum," Marta giggled.

"Bubble gum?!" Nolan laughed. "Sounds like something my little sisters would order… they're five."

"Fine, never mind," Marta teased as she pulled the cone away. "You can't have any."

"Yeah?" Nolan chuckled as he put his arm around her and leaned toward the cone. He took a bite of the ice cream and pulled back, leaving his arm in place.

Marta giggled, "You're a mess." She reached up and wiped ice cream off the corner of his mouth. "A thief and a mess."

Nolan reached into his pocket and pulled out some napkins from the ice cream shop that he'd stowed away. He wiped his mouth and then reached over to Marta and wiped her hand. "There," he stated softly.

She grasped his hand before he moved it and stepped toward him. At 5'9," it wasn't difficult for her to reach up to his lips and trace them with her finger. Nolan, mesmerized, closed his eyes and softly kissed her finger. They pulled toward one another as they shared an extended kiss. His hands embraced her just below the shoulders, while hers grabbed his ass.

Pulling back and rubbing her cheek along his evening stubble, Marta whispered, "Should we… uh… go somewhere? Get out of the middle of campus?"

Leaning his cheek into hers, Nolan whispered, "Sure." He began to lead her toward his dorm as he grasped her hand.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, before Marta inquired, "Do you have a roommate?"

"No. A single," Nolan responded.

"That's spendy," she commented.

Nolan shrugged and grinned at her. He opened the door and led her to the elevator. When he entered the room, he motioned toward the desk chair and a foldable side chair. Nervously, he offered, "Have a seat. You want a soda or something?"

"I'm good," she responded as she sat on the bed and bore her eyes into his.

He awkwardly sat down with about a foot between them. He shook one leg nervously as he rested his forearms on his upper legs and his hands joined together. Glancing back at her, he grinned and sputtered, "So…"

"Here we are," Marta responded with a smile. "In your room… nice place."

"Thanks," Nolan responded.

"What's that?" Marta pointed to a bulletin board.

Chuckling, Nolan shared, "Artwork from my youngest sibs. Twin sisters who are 5 and a brother who's 4." He grasped the picture from Lucas' birth and shared, "It's a little old, obviously, but this is the family."

"Wow," Marta took in. "Lots of kids. And look at how adorable you are."

"Which one do you think is me?" he challenged with a grin. "And if you choose my brother, I won't be happy."

"The tiny ones are the ones you just mentioned. What are their names?" Marta inquired.

"Lucas is the newborn. Now he has curly red hair and big blue eyes that can talk anyone into anything. The redheaded baby is Annabelle or Anna. The brunette baby is my sister Ria. Well, her full name is Victoria."

"And I'm guessing you're not the adorable red headed girl who looks about 5 or 6," Marta declared.

"My sister, Olivia. She's a free spirit, full of creativity and zest. Kick in the ass," Nolan explained proudly.

"Hmm… now are you the oldest or the second child?" Marta pondered. Nolan's eyes shared a playful warning.

"You definitely act like an oldest," Marta decided. "You're this one. How old were you? About 12 or 13?"

"13," Nolan blushed slightly. "And that troublemaker is my brother, Ryder."

"Your mom and dad look like great people. I can't believe how much your red headed sister looks like your dad," Marta observed.

"Crazy thing. The man there is our adoptive father, my bio mom's cousin. Mom died in a car accident when we were little. These two adopted us when we were 4, 7, and 11," Nolan explained.

"Oh, wow. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. What about your bio dad?" Marta wondered.

"He was a fireman. He died in a building collapse when my mom was pregnant with Olivia," Nolan recounted. With a faraway look, he added, "He was a great guy, an excellent Dad." Shaking his head to clear his mind, Nolan reached for a picture that included Kayla and Blake. He pointed out, "Here they are."

"You look exactly like him," Marta noticed. "And in the picture with the baby, you and your brother almost look identical."

"Yeah," Nolan agreed.

"And those drawings? They're from the little siblings?" Marta wondered as she pointed to kindergarten level artwork.

"Exactly," Nolan smiled. "Anyway…" he began as he returned to the bed.

"And who's this?" Marta asked innocently as she picked up a picture of Lissa. "She's darling."

Nolan smirked and tilted his head to beckon Marta over. "A very close friend. We used to date. She's coming to visit in a few weeks."

"Cool. Where's she go to school?" Marta inquired.

"She's a high school senior in Seattle," Nolan shared. "Now come over here, you. Enough pictures of Nolan's boring life."

With a coy grin, Marta walked over and softened her eyes. She held out a hand and he grasped it, gently pulling her down. She sat next to him and placed her arm around him, declaring, "You… feel so safe and steady." Nolan's mind immediately thought of Lissa who often described his embrace with the same words. He closed his eyes, wondering what the hell he was doing, yet he was unable to stop.

"Hey…" Marta whispered, "I'm over here." She placed her hand on his cheek and pulled him toward her as they kissed. Her hands slipped under his shirt and then to the front of his pants.

As he moaned in pleasure, he pulled back and suggested, "Let's… uh… slow down a little."

"Seriously?" Marta challenged with curiosity.

"Sorry," he offered. "How about if I drive you home?"

"Sure," she answered with confusion. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, not at all," he shook his head. "It's just… I'm in a weird space all the sudden. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Okay," Marta agreed as she stood and grasped her bag.

The two walked down to his Jeep and he opened the door for his friend. For some reason, he had grabbed his backpack when they left. He threw it into the back seat and unknowingly dialed Lissa when his cell touched the seatbelt buckle.

"Tonight was nice, Nolan," Marta offered graciously.

He chuckled, "The ice cream was awesome. I'm not sure if I should thank you or curse you for introducing me to that place."

"It's a hazard," she giggled.

He pulled up to the sorority and asked, "Want me to walk you in?"

"Nah… just watch from here and make sure nobody abducts me or anything," she joked.

"Deal," Nolan agreed. "I'll catch you later."

Marta grasped his cheeks and softly kissed him. "Thanks for the company tonight," she stated. "Oh, hey, do you have that tip sheet you mentioned?"

"It's in my backpack," Nolan mentioned as he reached back and searched for it. Seeing his phone in the midst of a call, he turned it off wondering who he had bugged.

As Nolan began to drive toward the dorms, he felt his phone vibrate. After stopping to retrieve it, he was surprised to see that Lissa was calling. Since they'd spoken earlier, he wondered if she might be calling due to an emergency.

Nolan answered, "Hey, Shorty."

"Hey," she said sadly.

"What's up?" Nolan inquired.

"You called me. What was that all about?" Lissa wondered.

Nolan scratched his head and responded, "Liss, you just called me. I didn't call you."

"A few minutes ago, you were talking with some girl. What are you trying to prove, Nolan?" Lissa asked with a mixture of anger, fear and sadness.

"Blondie, honestly… I have no idea what you're talking about," Nolan clarified.

"Look at your recents," Lissa insisted.

When he did, Nolan commented, "I'm sorry, Liss. My phone was in my backpack – it must have bounced around and called you. Sorry about that. How are you?"

"I was fine until I heard you talking to whatever her name was," Lissa responded flatly.

"Marta," Nolan stated. "I met her on my flight, Liss."

"Sounds like you were just ending a date," Lissa reflected as her voice cracked.

Nolan slowly closed his eyes and responded, "Liss… it's not like that. I promise."

"I guess you don't owe me an explanation, Nolan. If we're taking a break and you've decided that means dating other people is part of that…" her voice trailed off.

"Larissa, I'm not seeing her. Shorty, truly. You and I…we just talked about all of this earlier."

"So nothing happened?" Lissa wondered.

"I went to the library to tutor her and she didn't feel like studying so we grabbed some ice cream and hung out. We did kiss, but I called it off right away. It just wasn't right. It wasn't… you. I'm so sorry, Babe."

"Good night, Nolan," Lissa offered softly. She hung up, leaving Nolan feeling unresolved about the situation and wanting to call her back. He resisted temptation and decided to throw the Nerf ball around when he returned to his dorm.

After doing so for twenty minutes, Nolan sent Lissa a text that read, _I'd really like to talk about tonight. Please?_

 _No,_ Lissa responded succinctly.

 _I hope we can talk later. Call or text. Love you,_ Nolan proclaimed. He did not receive a response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Here, let me," Owen offered as he stepped away from the mirror and zipped Amelia's formal. He nuzzled into her neck and whispered, "You look stunning."

Amelia stepped away and turned around so she was facing her husband. "Thank you. You're looking pretty incredible yourself, Handsome." She grimaced and grasped his bow tie, "This, however, needs some help."

"I wasn't done with it," Owen protested. "I thought helping my damsel in distress was a higher priority."

"Damsel in distress? Are you kidding me?" Amelia jested as she grasped the bow tie to improve upon it.

"Beauty with short arms?" he grinned, hoping to charm his way out of trouble.

"Not much better there, silly boy," Amelia quipped. "The beauty part can stay, but the short arms? Not a flattering commentary."

Grasping her cheeks, Owen leaned in for a kiss. "Beautiful," he whispered, followed by a kiss. "Intelligent," he added with another kiss. "Sexy…Intriguing…" he further shared with a kiss after each word.

"You're a charmer, Owen Hunt," Amelia grimaced with mock disbelief.

"It's all true. I tell no lies," he insisted as he placed his hands over his heart.

"There… the tie is tied," Amelia announced.

"Are you going to be able to stand those heals all night?" he asked with concern.

"Probably not," she shrugged, "but aren't they sexy?"

"Let me weigh in on that when they're all you have on," he advised.

Amelia chuckled, "That's so, so wrong."

"And right," Owen flirted.

"And right," she winked.

"Mommy?" Olivia beckoned as she let herself into the Master Bedroom.

"Hi, Livs," Amelia smiled as she put on an earring. "What's up?"

"Me and Lissa have been working on a dance and I want to show it to you," Olivia shared.

"Lissa and I," Owen corrected as he popped a finger on her nose and kissed the top of her head.

"Daddy, dancers and artists don't need to worry about that stuff," Olivia dismissed.

"Ah, but Hunt children do, my dear," Owen insisted clearly.

Choosing to let the matter drop without response, Olivia turned back toward Amelia and inquired, "Do you have time to watch it? Even just a little of it?"

"We have ten minutes until the limo arrives," Amelia explained. "Can I watch and finish getting ready at the same time?"

"Mmm Hmm," Olivia nodded. "Lemme go get the music." She ran out of the room and returned quickly, sharing, "Lissa dances it with me too, but she doesn't want to do it right now."

Widening her arms, Olivia continued, "Imagine her behind me. Sometimes we do the same movements and sometimes I'm dancing to one part of the music and she's dancing to another part." She pressed play and the music from Jupiter by Sleeping at Last began.

Coordinating with the varying instruments of the opening portion of the song, Livie's steps were perfectly timed with the more significant sounds. Near the beginning, as she danced, she explained, "This is a part where Lissa dances to the background music and I dance to the other part."

"I can imagine it, Olivia," Amelia celebrated. "This is beautiful music and your dance ties really well to it."

"Wait," she offered as she swung her upper body down in a fluid motion. "The singing begins in a sec."

As the artist began to sing, the music, lyrics and steps tied even more tightly. As the line, "Like a magnet, it beckoned my metals toward it" was sung, Livie quickly explained that she and Lissa interacted and pulled toward each other in that section. Then they parted and threw their arms to the sky as the next line, "Make my messes matter, Make this chaos count," was sung.

"Olivia," Owen offered with awe. "Honey, that was absolutely wonderful. I'd love to see both of you dance together sometime."

"A beautiful dance with thought provoking lyrics," Amelia observed. "Why did you decide on that song?"

"Lissa picked it. It's one of the songs she keeps listening to since Nolan left. Ryder calls the playlist her Sad Music Hour," Olivia disclosed as Owen tried not to laugh.

"Ahh…" Amelia acknowledged. "Speaking of Lissa, I need to check with her before we leave." Amelia began to walk out of the bedroom. As she passed Olivia, she hugged her and boasted, "My daughter is the best dancer in the world."

Olivia and Owen remained in the room. He was putting on his jacket and questioned, "What do you think, Red?"

"I think I want to be your date. Just imagine how cute we'd be together with our incredible red hair and great eyes," Olivia envisioned.

"And we'd win the humility award, too," Owen joked. Olivia, not understanding the comment, smiled.

"You look super handsome, Daddy," Olivia added. "If I liked boys, I'd want to marry you someday."

Owen grinned, "I'm already married, Livs."

Dancing her way out the door, she shared as she moved, "I know, silly. I'm gonna marry a girl anyway."

"Okay," Owen said to himself with half a shrug.

Meanwhile, Amelia knocked on Lissa's door multiple times before opening the door a crack. Lissa took off her headphones and smirked, "Sorry… were you knocking?"

"Yep. We're almost ready to leave," Amelia informed her. Lissa wrapped the headphones cord around her iPod as she awaited Amelia's instructions. "Please make sure Olivia showers. Ria's ankle has been hurting a little, so go ahead and give her some Tylenol at bedtime. And make sure Lissa does _all_ her homework, especially History."

"Will do," Lissa agreed with a grin.

"And Olivia showed us your dance. Absolutely marvelous, Liss," Amelia praised.

With a gently smile, Lissa thanked Amelia for the compliment. Then she looked down at the floor.

"What's up, Buttercup?" Amelia wondered.

"Nolan and I talked tonight and it was weird," Lissa sighed. "We don't know what we're doing and it's all so confusing."

Amelia frowned and walked over to stroke Lissa's long blond hair. "I'm so sorry, Lissa. It's a tough time."

"Yeah," Lissa responded softly. "Maybe I'll call him later."

" _After_ homework," Amelia prodded.

"After homework," Lissa echoed.

Anna and Ria came running into Lissa's room, "Mama! Mama! The big long car is here!"

"Owen, limo's here," Amelia announced, thinking he was still in their bedroom.

"I know, Mia," Owen called from the lower level. "Ready?"

"Can we see the inside of the big car?" Ria begged.

"Quickly," Owen prompted as he checked his watch. All the kids ran to the limo to check it out.

"No way!" Lucas exclaimed. "You have a TV in the car? And a bunch of seats? And fancy glasses and stuff to drink!"

"Bye bye, munchkin," Amelia offered as she bent down to kiss Lucas goodbye. "Be good for Lissa and Ryder."

"I will," Lucas promised. "Mama, you look super pretty."

"Thanks, Luke," Amelia smiled. He held his arms up toward Owen, hoping to be picked up.

Instead, Owen bent down and hugged him, "Have a fun night, Luke."

"I think your night is gonna be funner," Lucas weighed in.

Amelia and Owen hugged the twins and said goodbye to Ryder and Lissa. Ryder unexpectedly hugged Amelia and whispered Lucas' words, "Mama, you look super pretty," adding, "Love you."

"Love you too, Ry," Amelia offered with a wide smile.

"Let's go, Mia," Owen urged as he gently pressed his hand into the small of her back.

"Picture!" Olivia announced as she worked Ryder's phone out of his hand. The couple posed outside the limo and then again once they were seated. "I'm sending these to Nolan right away so it can be like he was here too," Olivia declared.

Down in LA, Nolan received the pictures from Ryder's phone and wrote back, _What's the occasion?_

 _Hospital fundraiser,_ Ryder replied before adding, _Gotta minute to talk?_

 _Sure. Call me. Not in the mood to talk to the whole gang, though,_ Nolan responded.

Ryder concluded the conversation, _Just us. Will call in a bit._


	17. Chapter 17 - What's Up?

**Chapter 17**

 **A Pivotal Year – What's Up?**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **Friday, October 8** **th**

 _ **Note: I know I've been hit and miss about posting lately. It's been a really busy couple weeks (with another busy week facing me in the next few days). Here's two chapters at once. I'll write and post Ch 19 asap. Thanks for reading!**_

"I kind of feel weird calling you about this," Ryder explained.

Nolan listened carefully and offered, "Whatever you need to talk about, Ry. I'm here."

"Lissa's been in a funk. I just wanted to make sure you knew. Tonight, it's like she's a numb zombie who seems calm but just might lose it at any minute," Ryder explained.

"We're having a tough time," Nolan shared as he chuckled at Ryder's metaphor.

"Are you guys breaking up?" Ryder asked boldly.

Nolan took a deep breath, "I don't think we know what we're doing, Ryder. We love each other but we're having trouble getting along."

"Don't be a dick, Nolan. Don't mess this up. She's awesome," Ryder urged.

"Thanks for the unsolicited advice," Nolan grumbled.

"I'm just saying… I think I'd keep her if the two of you broke up and one of you had to go," Ryder slammed.

Nolan smiled, realizing he actually missed his little brother, "Good to know. Thanks for the warning. Tell me about your life. What's going on? Do you have a girlfriend?"

"I have a number of ladies," Ryder boasted. "They all want to be my girlfriend."

"Nice," Nolan affirmed.

"I'm getting all A's, and I was recommended for some cool summer stuff at the Naval Academy. We all had eye exams and my vision was 20/15," Ryder shared.

"Sweet, Ry. That's great news," Nolan praised.

"Nolan?" Ryder said seriously.

"What?" Nolan inquired.

"Seriously… I really hope you and Lissa work everything out. I can't imagine you two breaking up," Ryder admitted.

"I hope we don't, too," Nolan assured him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``'

Meanwhile, Lissa went through the motions of beginning dinner in the kitchen. Usually, she enjoyed cooking and incorporating the kids into her efforts. On this day, she looked to Olivia and begged for her to entertain the littles.

Relishing in being the big kid in charge, Olivia assumed the reigns without hesitation. "Littles," she instructed, "we are going to play a game." Lissa gazed up from the cookbook with a grin, wondering if the budding leader would have any followers.

"I want to play rock climber, outdoor adventure guy with super powers," Lucas exclaimed.

"Let's play library and I'm the library lady," Ria added.

"No," Olivia insisted, "we're going to make an obstacle course."

"What's a bobstickle course?" Lucas asked as he wrinked his nose.

"Obb…stick…ul…dummy," Anna grumbled at her little brother as she pushed him.

"Annabelle, you gotta go sit on the stairs, 'cause it's not ok to call Lucas a dummy," Olivia pointed her arm directly forward toward.

After sticking out her tongue, Anna folded her arms with stubborn insistence and pointed out, "I'm not doing anything you say because you're not my boss or mommy or the person in charge of me."

"I am too!" Olivia yelled as she leaned toward her fellow red head's face. "Get over there… _now."_

Anna raised her chin upward and to the left, refusing to engage. Lissa, after witnessing the power struggle, stopped tearing lettuce and offered a firm, warning stare as she drew out, "Anna…"

"She's not my boss person!" Anna disputed to Lissa.

"Right now, _I am_ ," Lissa stated firmly. "And I'm suggesting you to do what Olivia asked you to do."

With heavy stomps, Anna headed toward the stairs angrily. Lissa added, "And why are you headed there, Annabelle?"

"Because Lucas is a dummy head," Anna pouted.

"Oh… woah there, Little Miss," Lissa admonished.

"He is!" Anna persisted.

"Stairs. Now," Lissa commanded calmly. "Sit. Down. No talking." Anna's bottom lip popped out as she sat down and offered Lissa an infuriated stare.

"Oh Lucas! No!" Olivia bellowed, "No! No! No!"

Lissa glanced over to discover Lucas climbing up the river rock fireplace with a satisfied and proud grin. When he caught Lissa's eye, he celebrated, "Look! I'm climbing higher than ever! I _am_ a superhero adventure guy."

"Lucas, do…not…jump," Lissa instructed calmly and slowly.

"I don't have a cape on, silly. If I jumped from here without a cape, I'd fall instead of fly," he explained. "Ree Ree, throw me a cape!"

"Victoria, please don't," Lissa begged just as Victoria grasped a pillow case in her little hand.

"Hey, punk, why are you sitting here? What'd you do now?" Ryder harassed his little sister as he walked down the stairs. Anna narrowed her eyes and glared without response. Pressing her, Ryder sat down next to her and asked again.

"Lissa and Olivia are mean and Lucas is dumb," Anna mumbled quietly.

"Oh," Ryder nodded. "What about Victoria?"

"She's just… just… Ria," Anna grumbled.

"Ryder, leave her alone, she's in time out," Lissa pointed out.

"And what about wild man over there, Lissa?" Ryder motioned toward Lucas who had climbed even higher.

"That's my new superhero name, Ry, 'Wild Man,'" Lucas announced with pride.

"Good one, dude," Ryder shrugged without concern about his brother's altitude.

"Will you get him down?" Lissa pled.

"Why? He's having fun," Ryder observed.

"Because I don't want to have to call Amma and Dads and tell them he broke an arm and we had to call 911," Lissa shared.

"You stress too much, girl," Ryder laughed. "Lissa… Lissa… Lissa… he's fine." Ryder turned to Olivia and asked, "Why do you look like you're watching tennis?"

"Huh?" she responded with utter confusion.

Ryder smiled and explained, "You keep moving your head from Lissa to me like you're watching us hit a tennis ball back and forth."

"Oh," Olivia flatly uttered. "I dunno why I'm doing that."

"Are you soaking in my brilliance or just staring?" Ryder bugged her.

Lissa shook her head, "Give her a break, Ryder. She's been helping with the littles."

"Not so easy, is it?" Ryder questioned dryly as he regarded his younger sister.

"Nope. Not easy at all," Olivia agreed with wide open arms and a large sigh. "I'm not ready for all this pressure."

"Anna! You can come out of time out. Go tell Lucas you're sorry, please," Lissa instructed as she popped a casserole dish in the oven.

"She's good at this kid thing, huh?" Olivia asked Ryder.

With a sincere smile, Ryder admitted quietly, "She really is, Liv. Won't it be cool when she's a Mom? She'll be a good one."

"And Nolan can be the Daddy," Livie beamed.

Hoping in his heart that Olivia spoke the truth about the future, Ryder took in a slow breath and simply whispered, "Yep. He could, Livs."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``'

The ride to the hotel where the fundraiser was being held took about half an hour. Knowing that from the beginning, Owen and Amelia took advantage of the time. Making out as if they were teenagers, Amelia reminded her husband more than once, "Watch the hair. You can do whatever you want to it on the way home, but be careful on this trip."

"I know," Owen grumbled. "Should we get a room so we can sneak off and skip out during the boring parts?"

"Sounds like a guy after my own heart," Amelia mused as she kissed him.

Before long, they arrived at the hotel. Amelia primped her hair and reached over to flatten Owen's stray curls. The chauffer came around to open the door and they stepped out looking wonderful. After making small talk with various donors and colleagues, Owen made his way to the head table.

Amelia sat with Derek, Meredith, Maggie, Callie and Callie's date. Owen, serving as a main presenter, hated being separated from Amelia during the presentations. Her commentaries were always entertaining and helped keep him from being bored. Instead, as he welcomed everyone, she licked her lips slowly, winked, and flirted with him as he spoke. Distracted and attempting to stay focused, Owen moved his gaze to other parts of the room.

Richard recognized a long term donor and welcomed her to the podium. As she approached and as everyone applauded, Owen caught Amelia's eye and subtly grinned. Pretending he had a page, he slid from the stage and stopped in an out of the way corner. He typed out, _You are the sexiest, most captivating woman here._

Amelia smiled as she read his text and responded, _You're a bad boy sneaking off the stage to send that text._

 _Ok. So?_ Owen flirted.

 _Let's get a room, Handsome,_ Amelia commanded.

 _I'll text you a room number asap,_ he promised.

Walking quickly toward the main lobby, Owen arranged a room and grabbed an elevator. _617,_ he typed. After walking into the room, he loosened his bow tie and slipped off his jacket and shoes. He flopped into a chair and put his feet up on the ottoman. Leaving the door slightly ajar, he waited for Amelia to appear.

Within minutes, she entered and offered with a husky voice, "I hear there's a sexy redhead looking for love in here. Have you seen him?"

"Last time I looked in the mirror," he grinned as he patted his lap.

She strutted over to him slowly with her chin pointing toward her chest and her eyes peeking at him. The grin on her face disclosed her intentions as he smiled and raised his eyebrows in anticipation. Sliding onto his lap, Amelia nuzzled her nose on his neck. Softly kissing his skin, she lightly licked him and then blew on the same spots.

Reaching around to her back, Owen unhooked her bra and unzipped Amelia's dress. Both slowly slid off her chest and shoulders. Running his lips along her collarbones and onto her breasts, he hummed with delight as his hands pulled her tightly toward him. Without losing the connection made by a kiss, they stood up simultaneously. Her bra and dress fell to the floor as she pulled off his bow tie and carefully unbuttoned each button of his starched, crisp, white shirt. As the opening of his shirt grew wider, Amelia buried her face in his skin. After the last shirt button was released, she opened his slacks and worked her way down below his waist. The pants slid to the ground as she took him into her mouth.

He groaned with pleasure and stroked her hair. After his release minutes later, he teased, "And you said _I_ was a bad boy… looks like I've found my match."

"You have no idea," she purred as she grasped him.

"Lucky me," he crooned with a chuckle.

Sliding up toward his face, she whispered, "Again… you have no idea."

"Ha!" he sputtered at her assertion. In one quick motion, he scooped her up into his arms and carried sher to the bed as she gasped with simultaneous surprise and joy. He gently placed her on the bed and pulled off her panties.

"Your wish has been granted," she seductively declared.

"Hmm?" he glanced upward as his hands caressed her legs and hips.

"The shoes. They're all I have on," she pointed out.

He flopped onto his side and raised his eyebrows. With a flip of his hand, he motioned for his wife to stand, "Well, let me see…"

Standing up slowly, Amelia slid off the bed and strutted a few steps away before turning her face then shoulders toward Owen.

He laughed as he widened his eyes and grinned mischievously, "Keep going… I can barely see the shoes."

"You…" Amelia retorted, "are not looking at the shoes."

He crawled along the top of the bed, leaned when he neared the edge and inquired, "What else do you have to show me?"

"Oh, honey," Amelia purred as she placed her hand under Owen's chin and leaned within a few inches of his face, "So, so much."

He grabbed her and fell backward onto the bed. Laying on top of him, Amelia began to undress him, teasing, "I've been naked alone long enough."

"Strip me," Owen challenged as he lay down flat on the bed. Button by button and piece by piece, she slowly undressed him.

As they rolled on the bed, they laughed and grabbed one another's bodies. Without delay, Owen entered her body. His thrust was firm and fast, causing her to gasp. Much to her surprise, he stopped suddenly. She inquired, "Really? Not already."

"Oh no…" he chuckled as he nudged her onto her stomach and re-entered her. Her spine arched as moans emerged from her throat. Within minutes, her body was quivering internally as she screamed into a pillow.

Whispering, Owen observed, "You like that?"

Barely able to talk, Amelia responded breathily, "Yeah…"

"I can tell," he mumbled as he leaned down and kissed her shoulders. "I like it too." He moved her hips upward and thrust quickly again.

"What's your hurry?" she asked as she panted.

"No hurry. Just my mood," he shared as he began to be out of breath. She amped up again, feeling her body fill with delight as he came. As if made one, the two synchronized their breathing and their shared experience.

Collapsing on top of her, Owen moaned, "Oh, Mia…Mia…that was…"

"Breathtaking?" Amelia suggested.

Chuckling, he shrugged, "Well… yes. I was thinking more along the lines of phenomenal, wonderful, incredible."

She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him gently on the lips, "I love you, Owen. _This_ is something we simply must do more often."

"Sex?" he asked as he cocked his head.

"Sex… in a hotel room… somewhere completely uninterruptable without a chance of visitors," she smiled.

"Agreed," he smiled as his satisfied eyes twinkled.


	18. Chapter 18 - Friends, Siblings, Couples

**Chapter 18**

 **A Pivotal Year – Friends, Siblings, and Couples**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **Thursday, October 14**

Days passed before Nolan heard from Lissa. While conversations were nonexistent between them, she had most definitely been on his mind and he on hers. John, Piper and Linnea heard Lissa's non-stop, stream-of-consciousness processing ad nauseam. As close friends do, they encouraged her, supported her, and, at times, even advised her.

Thursday morning, Lissa, Piper and John gathered by their lockers in the hallway during break. Lissa attempted to hold back tears as her voice cracked. Predictably, she spouted, "We didn't have a clear agreement…"

"Nope. You didn't," Piper quipped. John grasped Lissa's upper arm with compassion as if he'd never heard the words come out of her mouth.

"I mean… if we weren't clear, then I can't be that hurt that he kissed her, right? I mean, he stopped. He assured me that he stopped almost right away. He didn't go any further, right? Just a kiss… or two?" Lissa rambled as she attempted to dismiss her hurt.

Meanwhile, Ryder was walking down the hallway on his way to one of his high school level classes. He observed John's caring touch and overheard Lissa's searching review of her plight. He stopped within ear shot full of skepticism.

When he couldn't stand it any longer, he inserted himself into the conversation, "Right. If he told you he stopped right away and that he didn't go further, he didn't, Larissa. This is Nolan we're talking about. Nolan."

The three older students stared at Ryder with stunned expressions. Ryder raised his eyebrows and regarded Lissa with a serious scowl before stepping away and proceeding to his class.

Piper broke the silence with her trademark snark, scoffing, "Well, who thought little brother would ever defend big brother?"

John, ignoring Piper's words, looked deeply into Lissa's blank eyes and questioned, "Are you ok?"

Gazing to her left and right slowly and taking a deep breath, Lissa replied with a slight smile, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

John put his arm on Lissa's shoulder, "Need a hug?"

She reached up and placed her hand on John's extended forearm. Looking him directly in the eye, she grinned and repeated, "I'm fine. Thanks, John… I'm fine." Then she excused herself gently.

She entered the room just as the bell rang and hurried to her assigned seat that was just in front of Ryder. He, a 7th grader, was far advanced in his academic abilities. Lissa, thanks to having failed the class during the time that Larry was in her life, was stuck in a 10th grade class without any peers. As if being the only senior wasn't bad enough, being in the class with Ryder only compounded her suffering.

The teacher, who appreciated Lissa's consistent effort, lowered his reading glasses as he stood up from his desk to begin to teach. Rather than hitting her with a tardy that would only complicate her day and result in a detention, he simply stated, "Close call there, Miss Howe. How about if you come up front to present your work on questions one and two? If your answers are acceptable, I'll disregard that you were not in your seat when the bell sounded."

Lisa smirked and reached down into her bag for her folder and homework. As she pulled it out, she saw that Nolan had sent her a text. Needing to hurry to the front of the class, she had to leave the text message unread. She proceeded to the front of the class and began, "Question One from last night's assignment asked: 'In 300 words or less, describe the key points at play during the French Revolution, especially noting any rulers, declarations, and significant documents.'"

As Lissa read her paragraphs, everyone listened and checked her words against their homework. Ryder, however, sat with narrowed eyes and folded arms, staring Lissa down with simmering anger. His hostility made Lissa squirm uncomfortably and distracted her from her presentation.

When she concluded, the teacher inquired, "Thank you, Miss Howe. Anything else you would like to add?"

She disliked how he phrased the question. His words gave no indication about the quality of her work. Unable to recall anything else significant, Lissa replied, "No, Sir."

"Anybody have information to add? Miss Howe, please proceed to the white board and jot down any responses," the teacher instructed.

Ryder, thrilled to have information that Lissa neglected to share, raised his hand. When called upon, he read from his homework, "During the French Revolution, King Louis XVI, King when the monarchy was overthrown, was blamed for overspending related to the American Revolution. Even though the King inherited the debt issues from his grandfather, Louis XV, Louis XVI was blamed and eventually executed. He died in 1793."

The teacher nodded and inquired, "Any other additions?"

Ryder shared, "I would also add the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen from 1789. It was significant because it viewed liberty and equality as a natural right that came with birth."

"For all?" the teacher pressed.

"Actually not," Ryder replied. "The rights were awarded only to men."

"Inspiration for the document?" the teacher further pushed.

"The Declaration of Independence and the Enlightenment were key inspirations," Ryder added with ease.

"Excellent, Mr. Hunt. Other additions or comments?" the pleased instructor praised.

"The August Decrees, which released peasants from contracts the feudal system and which abolished the system were important as well," Ryder stated.

"Certainly an addition worth consideration, Mr. Hunt. If, of course, other more key items have already been included within the 300 word limit," he observed. Turning to Lissa, he continued, "Miss Howe, your response to Question One was superb and comprehensive. Thank you. Can you share your response to Question Two?"

Lissa did so and received the instructor's rare and highest praise. Not sure what else could have been included, he complimented her, "Excellent. Return to your seat." He further ordered, "Mr. Hunt. Question Three, please. You can remain at your desk."

Ryder read his response, tripping over a few French pronunciations. The teacher inquired, "Who can provide Mr. Hunt with proper pronunciation of the French words?"

Lissa quickly raised her hand and was called upon. Neither commented at all regarding any other students' responses. At the end of class, the teacher asked Lissa and Ryder to stay behind. Without mincing words, he challenged, "Do the two of you have a problem with one another?"

Lissa responded first as Ryder, normally calm and jovial, felt his heart beat rapidly, "Sir?"

"The back and forth corrections of one another?"

"Sir," Ryder nervously began, "I shared the information I had in my homework. That is all."

"Yet you chose not to do so with any other student," the teacher commented. "And Miss Howe, were there other opportunities to share your pronunciation abilities?"

"Yes, Sir," Lissa admitted.

"But you chose not to do so," the teacher confirmed.

"Yes, Sir," Lissa agreed.

"You chose to only correct Mr. Hunt's words," the teacher stated. Leaning closer to Lissa with a firm scowl, he added, "Why?"

"There are others in the class who speak French. I didn't see a need to be the only student offering assistance," she explained.

"I understand you live under the same roof. You are basically siblings. Could it be that there's some sort of problem between the two of you that has been brought from home and managed to find its way into my classroom? I sensed some hostility," the teacher pressed.

"No, Sir," Ryder insisted.

"Wonderful," the teacher stated, "Since there are no relationship tensions between you, I'm going to pair the two of you up on an upcoming project. Assignments will be made tomorrow. Anticipate working together on your topic," he informed them before dismissively adding, "That is all." He handed each of them an excuse slip since they would arrive late to their next class.

As Lissa grasped hers, she smiled and offered a soft, "Thank you, Sir." Ryder simply nodded his head as he reached for his paper.

When they stepped into the empty hallway, Lissa fumed, "What the hell was that all about, Ryder?" Were you determined to make me look stupid?"

"I was participating in class, Larissa," Ryder responded dryly.

"By scowling at me and staring me down as I presented?" she retorted.

"I need to get to class," Ryder claimed, dismissing her argument.

Lissa rolled her eyes and huffed before proceeding to class. When she entered her English class, the teacher cleared her throat to express disappointment.

"Sorry to interrupt, Ma'am," Lissa stated as she handed the teacher her excuse. The teacher frowned as she read the note and informed Lissa, "We're on page 198 of the grammar text book, Miss Howe."

Lissa grinned dutifully and walked to her seat. Catching John's eyes, she rolled hers in response to his non-verbal inquiry. Later, as they walked out of class together, John asked her why she'd been late. She began to recount the story and, as she told it, realized she hadn't read Nolan's text from earlier that morning. She dug through her bag and grabbed her phone. Nolan had sent two additional messages since the first one:

 _Shorty, 20_ _th_ _is around the corner. Still visiting, right?_

 _Liss…please answer me._

 _You're killing me, Babe. Can't we talk?_

With John tagging behind her, Lissa quickly stepped to the side of the hallway and typed, _Sorry! Haven't been ignoring you.. Just saw your texts. Yes, I'll be there on the 20_ _th_ _. Yes, I'd like to talk. I have lunch in an hour. Talk then?_

Immediately, as if he'd been holding the phone in his hand and staring at it, Nolan answered, _Yes. You call me. I'm open until tonight at 6. Can't wait to hear your voice._

Calling her back to reality, John asked Lissa if everything was fine. Gently, Lissa looked at him and offered," John… you really need to stop checking up on me. I'm fine." She smiled, hoping he'd catch her hint.

"I'm sorry," he grimaced. "I worry about you with Nolan so far away and with your living situation. You're going through so much."

"John," Lissa implored, "You are a dear, long-time friend. I really appreciate you, but I'm with Nolan. He's my boyfriend. You and I, we're friends. Good friends." She smiled gently at him.

Her words left enough wiggle room for John to salvage his ego. He lowered his brows with confusion and smirked then chuckled, "I know, you dork. Now, knock it off and get to class."

Fairly sure John was simply trying to save face, yet not wanting to embarrass him, Lissa softly punched him on the upper arm and laughed before stepping away.

Lissa's next class dragged on. The clock seemed to move backward rather than forward as she eagerly anticipated her upcoming call with Nolan.

Eventually, the bell rang and class was dismissed. She rapidly stepped outside to a private corner to call Nolan. "Trems!" she sang as he answered her call.

Nolan smiled as he heard her pet name for him. "Blondie… I've really missed your voice."

She leaned against the brick wall and sighed, "I've really missed you too. I can't wait to see you next week."

With hesitation, Nolan questioned, "Am I… are you… ummm…"

She interrupted, "I'm still kind of upset, Nole, but I hope we can talk about it when we see each other and work everything out. I _want_ to resolve this. I love you, Nolan, and I miss not being with you."

Immediately, Nolan made his hand into a fist and dropped it from in front of his body down to his hip. Beaming, he replied, "I love you too, Larissa. Yeah, let's resolve all this crap and move on… together."

With an overflowing sense of peace, Lissa closed her eyes and allowed a wide smile to overtake her face. She whispered loud enough for Nolan to hear, "Together. I like that idea."

"Me too, Babe," Nolan agreed. "Change of subject before I forget: do you want me to reserve a guest room for you?" Nolan wondered.

"What are my options?" Lissa inquired.

"I have a friend who's offered to host you at her sorority. You can also stay in one of the guest rooms in the dorm. Or… you can stay with me," Nolan detailed as his voice trailed off the more he spoke.

"I'd be fine crashing in your room," she admitted.

"You sure?" he responded with surprise.

"Yeah… unless you'd prefer otherwise," she offered.

"Actually, I'd prefer you stay with me, so we're on the same page, Shorty," he celebrated.

"I wish we could keep talking, Trems, but I need to grab something to eat before lunch ends. The couple ended their call warmly but without any declarations of love. Then, Lissa headed to the cafeteria. As she entered the space, she and Ryder happened to glimpse at one another.

Ryder motioned for Lissa to approach him. When she stood in front of him, she'd hoped Ryder was going to apologize. Instead, he stared and said, "I'm catching a ride to soccer with Paul after school. His brother can bring me home when practice is over."

"Ok," Lissa responded with ambivalence.

She stood, waiting for Ryder to continue the conversation. Instead, he took a bite of his sandwich, glanced up at her and asked, "What? That's it." He sounded as if he was impersonating their irritable History teacher.

"Could we speak in the hall?" she inquired.

"Sorry," Ryder shrugged as he stood. "Gotta go."

As he walked away, Lissa followed him and growled loud enough for only Ryder to hear, "Ryder Hunt. Knock it off. I don't know why you're being such an ass, but it needs to stop. I don't deserve to be treated like this." During her break from Nolan, a more assured and assertive Lissa had emerged. Without Nolan there to defer to, Lissa had come into her own. She had begun to realize that she was fully capable of asserting herself and of making her own decisions.

Ryder stopped walking and turned abruptly to face Liss. "Really?" he growled. He threw away the garbage in his hand and barked quietly, "Follow me." He stepped outside and walked to the corner of the building, the same location where Lissa had stood when she'd spoken to Nolan earlier. Little did either of them know that their History teacher was making rounds along the perimeter of campus during the lunch break.

"You don't deserve it, huh? Does my brother? Does Nolan deserve your whining about him at school? Doubting him? Telling people in the middle of the hallway that he kissed someone else?" Ryder snapped.

"Woah, Ryder. Settle down," Lissa responded, stunned by his diatribe.

"No, Larissa," he insisted as his volume increased with each word, "I'm not going to settle down. I talked to Nolan recently and I sang your praises. I told him to pull his head out of his ass. Then I saw and heard you in the hall this morning. Holy shit. How dare you betray my brother with your big, bitchy mouth."

"Excuse me?!" Lissa screamed. "I'm not the one going around kissing other people."

"No, you just let John pet your arm and hang on every word you speak," he hissed with venom, "I've thought of you as family for a long, long time, Larissa, but now I see that you're nothing like my family. My family might argue at home, but we don't take it out into hallways. My family doesn't talk smack about one another. You do. You did."

Lissa folded her arms and took a deep breath before quietly responding with a shaking and hurt voice, "Don't say words you'll regret, Ryder…" Although Lissa knew that she and Nolan were many steps closer to reconciling, Ryder hadn't been privy to their recent conversation.

He interrupted immediately, "Are you going to tell my brother what you said today or am I?"

"Listen you little punk, don't threaten me. Mind your own business, Ryder," Lissa growled. "I was talking with my friends – Nolan would understand that. Besides, this doesn't concern you. It's between Nolan and me."

"If my brother's involved, it _is_ my business," Ryder declared.

The history teacher stepped up to Lissa and Ryder offering, "It seems a feud is brewing between you two after all. Perhaps you could both stop by my classroom at the end of the day." Both kids knew that his words, while sounding like a suggestion, were a mandate. With a firm nod, the teacher stepped away and left the two students alone as the warning bell rang. Upon hearing the sound, Ryder narrowed his eyes and stormed away, leaving abruptly.

Piper, who had been hovering nearby, quipped, "Oh, little brother, you think you're so brilliant and mature, but, really, you're just a little f $*er."

Lissa turned around to face Piper, simultaneously smiling and chuckling. Tearing up, she hugged Piper and rested her head on her friend's shoulder. After pulling back, Lissa shared, "He means well, even if he doesn't understand how his words sting."

"He has no idea what he _doesn't_ know," Piper replied in defense of her friend.

Lissa smirked and observed, "He's just protecting Nolan. Actually, his parents would be really proud."

Piper scoffed, "You're way too nice, Lissa. Lemme take him out for you."

Lissa shook her head and hugged her friend again. "Oh…Piper. I love you."


	19. Chapter 19 - Aloha, Sunshine

**Chapter 19**

 **A Pivotal Year – Aloha, Sunshine**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **October 20** **th**

With their long-legged strides, Owen and Ryder had no difficulty navigating through the crowded airport entrance after the family checked their bags at the airline counter. Meanwhile, Olivia and Amelia lagged behind and attempted to keep their eyes on the guys even though it was challenging to see them through all the people.

"I think I see them over there, Mama," Olivia celebrated while pointing ahead and twirling in a circle.

Amelia squinted her eyes, "Could be, Livs. Good thing red hair is rare – it makes it easier to spot Daddy, doesn't it?" Olivia nodded her head as she held Amelia's hand with a tight grip. Losing one parent was stressful enough. The thought of losing the other one in a huge airport was even worse.

"Olivia, you're hurting my hand, sweetie," Amelia smiled as she leaned over to stay honed in on Owen.

"I just don't want to get lost, Mama, and you're walking super fast," Olivia explained.

Amelia stopped and knelt down, "You know what? We have plenty of time until our flight. There is no reason at all to hurry, and I know how to get to the gate without Daddy. What do you say we walk at a normal speed and take our time?"

"Please," Olivia responded. "I was about to worry that my dancing legs would fall off and that'd be the end of my favorite thing in the whole wide world," she kidded.

With smiles and a relaxed pace, the mother and daughter moseyed down the airport hallway where people were walking toward them and away from them without any sense of lanes or order. Flying on a Monday morning had not been one of Owen's wisest choices. The panicked businesspeople, the weary travelers returning from quick weekend adventures, and the parents with small children in tow filled nearly each spot on the carpet.

Amelia felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and grasped it so she could read the incoming text that Owen had sent. _Where the hell are you two? :-)_

 _We of short stature and slow gaits cannot keep up with you,_ Amelia responded.

 _We'll wait then. At security. We're in the priority lane,_ Owen shared.

After about seven to ten minutes, the ladies reached security and caught up with the guys. Owen attempted to appear patient, even though he felt like picking Amelia up in one arm and Olivia in the other so they could all stay together. The thought of slowing down was barely on his radar – he much preferred to get to the gate and then relax and wait rather than take his time along the way.

With a forced grin, he caught Amelia's frenzied expression that had appeared as she and Liv had hurriedly attempted to stay near Owen and Ryder. He held out his arm and placed his hand on her back as he drew her in for a quick peck on the cheek, "Hey, Beautiful," he declared.

"Hey," she responded with a bit of a sigh.

"Daddy, My legs are about to fall off. Can you carry me?" Olivia begged.

"You're 10, Olivia," Ryder scoffed.

Owen smiled and offered, "How about if you climb on my back? Ry, you can pull Livs' suitcase for her." Ryder, disgusted by Owen's indulgent behavior, silently grasped the handle of Olivia's bag and complied. He knew protesting would get him nowhere but to a lecture on being an attentive gentleman.

The family made their way through the short security line and past the TSA agent without a problem. They slipped off their shoes, pulled out laptops, and dug for baggies full of toiletries, using a number of grey bins. Since Olivia was under 12, her shoes stayed on. Ryder's laced tennis shoes took a few moments to loosen and remove. Amelia and Owen prepared ahead of time and wore shoes that were easy to slip on and off. Owen had no problem being scanned, nor did Olivia or Amelia.

Ryder, on the other hand, had been invited to walk through the metal detector. First, it alarmed because of his cell phone. He smirked and handed it to the agent who placed it in a bin and slid it through the conveyor. As Ryder walked through again, the alarm sounded once more. This time, Ryder's belt appeared to be the culprit. The family waited on the other side of the conveyor as Ryder stepped through the detector again. Sounding off a third time, Owen raised his eyebrows and gave Ryder an impatient look. The agent used a wand and discovered the change in his pockets was to blame.

Ryder removed the change, threw it into a small bin and began to walk through once again. The agent, finding Ryder more entertaining than annoying, instructed, "Actually, now my supervisor wants you to go through the scanner. Ryder shrugged and walked into the large round machine. Without delay, he was cleared. The TSA agents applauded. Rather than being embarrassed, Ryder bowed and thanked the agents.

When he saw a restroom, Ryder made his way to it. As he washed his hands, a text from Amelia came through, _Where are you? We lost you._

 _I'm in the bathroom, Mom. I know the gate number. Will catch up,_ Ryder replied.

 _We had no idea. Worried!_ Amelia retorted.

Ryder sighed heavily before writing, _Mom…I'm not a baby._

 _But we're in an airport. Good to stay together. We're waiting by the gate,_ Amelia mothered.

"Where the hell is he?" Owen impatiently inquired.

"In the bathroom," Amelia reported.

"Oh," he shrugged, "I guess that's fine. Sure would have been nice if he'd told us."

Amelia smiled at Owen and patted his shoulder, "I know, O. Deep breath." She shared a giddy grin and whispered, "We're going to Hawaii!"

"I know," he whispered back as he bent down and kissed her.

Before long, the family boarded the plane for the five and a half hour flight. Owen and Amelia sat in First Class, while the kids sat next to each other in coach. Being younger, Olivia sat at the window seat so she could watch the landscapes at takeoff and landing. Before long, the plane was in the air and on its way. With nobody else in their row, Ryder sat in the aisle seat and stretched his legs over the middle seat and onto Olivia's lap.

"Hey!" she protested as she attempted to push Ryder's feet off her legs. "I don't want your smelly feet on me."

"You're fine, Liv," Ryder mumbled as he hyper-focused on a game on his phone.

Realizing that complaining would get her nowhere, Olivia's eyes twinkled as she made another plan. At first, she acted as if she'd given in. A few minutes later, she barely tickled the bottom of one of Ryder's feet, then quickly removed her hand. His foot flinched while Ry's gaze remained on his game. A few minutes later, she full out tickled his other foot.

Laughing hysterically, and in a way seldom heard in the Shepherd Hunt home anymore, Ryder begged, "Stop it, Livs." As she persisted with determination, he moved his feet. Before bringing them down to the floor, he couldn't resist pushing her knee with his foot.

"Now you stop it," Olivia whined with gritted teeth. Ryder imitated her with an exaggerated facial expression. "Don't!" she ordered. Again, much to Olivia's dismay, big brother imitated little sister. Able to stand up without hitting her head, Olivia rose and began pushing her way into the aisle.

"Where do you think you're going?" Ryder challenged.

"To the bathroom," she lied as she planned to tattle on her brother.

"Fine," Ryder grumbled as he moved his legs. As soon as she was out of the row, Ryder moved to her seat and stretched his legs toward the aisle, taking up all three seats.

After sneaking past the curtain and into First Class, Olivia pulled on Owen's button down shirt and heavily whispered, "Daddy!" Both Owen and Amelia were dozing, and Amelia's hand was securely in Owen's as her head rested on his shoulder.

Opening one eye just enough to see Olivia, Owen mumbled, "What's up, Liv?"

"Ryder's bugging me super bad. He's putting his stinky feet on my lap and he's imitating me and he's pushing me," she tattled in one breath.

Owen slowly took in a deep breath and let it out. "Did you ask him to stop?"

"Yes!" she insisted with exasperation.

"And he didn't?" Owen questioned.

"Well, then he just did something else," Olivia whined softly.

"Here's the deal," Owen began. "I'm _not_ going back there. You two are going to be spending a great deal of time together over the next week. You'll need to work this out with each other."

"He won't listen to me," she sighed.

"Olivia…tell Ryder what I just said and that I expect him to do what I've asked," Owen offered as he wrapped his hand around the back of Olivia's head and kissed her forehead. With a kind grin, he concluded, "Go on back to your seat, Red. You can work this out."

Unsatisfied but without other options, Olivia turned around and made her way back to her seat. Ryder was listening to music on his headphones with his eyes closed. Since he didn't see her, she tapped his leg politely. He opened his eyes and sat in the window and middle seat with his knees bent.

Olivia sat in the aisle seat and put on her seatbelt before tapping her brother's arm. "Hey," she whispered, "I'm window seat, remember?"

"There's nothing to see out the window right now, Squirt. Sit where you are and be happy," Ryder suggested.

Olivia huffed and persisted, "Ryder…Daddy just said to tell you that you gotta be nice to me this whole trip because we're gonna be together a lot."

"I thought you went to the bathroom," Ryder reminded her.

"Well I didn't," Olivia snapped with growing tension.

Ryder leaned down to his backpack and pulled out a Kit Kat. "Here… you can have this if you stay put where you are," he bribed.

After rolling her eyes, Olivia grabbed the candy and ripped into the wrapper. She knew she'd been bribed but she decided she'd had enough of begging, whining, and attempting to sway others to her desires.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'l

Meanwhile, Lissa made her way through security. In order to only park one car at the airport, Owen had proposed that she ride with them even though she'd end up waiting a couple hours for her departure time.

Dragging her suitcase alongside her, Lissa finally reached the front of the line. Seventeen and alone, Amelia had made sure to give Liss a medical release and a note that provided permission for her to travel alone. Although neither document was required, Amelia figured neither would be harmful either.

The TSA agent examined Lissa's face and her license. He switched his gaze between the two multiple times before stating, "You're under 18."

"Yes, Sir," she answered dutifully.

"Running away?" he challenged gruffly. Amelia warned her something like this might happen.

"No, Sir. I'm going to visit a friend who attends USC. My foster mom provided a note if you'd like to see it," Lissa offered with the best manners she could muster as she pulled the papers out of her pocket.

He reviewed them, handed them back to her, marked her boarding pass and motioned her through without further conversation.

When Lissa came to the conveyor, she went through all the proper motions before being ushered through the x-ray scanner. When she walked over to retrieve her bag, the agent growled, "Follow me, Miss."

Lissa grabbed her shoes and followed the agent to a secondary security area. When she reached the counter, the agent instructed firmly, "Do not touch anything in your bag. You've been selected randomly for a more thorough search."

"Can I put my shoes on?" she wondered aloud.

"Yes," he grumbled. "But don't touch anything else."

After basically unpacking her carry on and leaving the contents on the table, the agent moved on to her suitcase. Lissa looked at him expectantly, assuming he would be repacking her luggage and cleaning up the mess he'd made.

Once he'd thoroughly searched her suitcases and left the contents strewn all over, he told her, "Ok, you're clear to go."

"What about my stuff? It's all over?" Lissa asked innocently.

"Repack it and then vacate the area so we can use this space for the next search," he shrugged.

Lissa sighed to herself, pulled her hair into a ponytail and began repacking. This was not an ideal trip so far – first, she'd had to wake up far earlier than necessary and now she was repacking in the middle of a crowded airport. _Stay happy, Larissa,_ she thought to herself. _Positive attitude. Be happy. You'll see Nolan soon. Focus on that._

Once Lissa reached the gate, she waited to board. She passed the time by doodling, listening to her iPod, and sketching out possible moves for a dance at the studio. When she boarded, a kind businessman offered to place her small suitcase in the overhead that she was unable to reach.

The just over two hour flight passed fairly rapidly. When she felt the plane begin its descent, Lissa pulled her lips between her teeth and nibbled on her lower lip with anxious anticipation. She flicked her thumbnail against the bottom of her forefinger and looked out the airplane window. As she leaned her forehead on the pull down shade, she felt herself increasingly fidget.

The kind elderly knitter seated next to her questioned, "Are you heading home, Sunshine?"

"No, Ma'am," Lissa smiled. "My boyfriend attends USC, and I'm visiting him."

With a wistful gaze, the knitter shared, "Oh, I remember my college days. Such wonderful times. I attended a little school close to USC called Mount Saint Mary's College."

"That's where I plan to attend," Lissa shared with joy.

"Oh my goodness, really?" the knitter chuckled. "What do you plan to study, dear?"

"I want to be a teacher," Lissa disclosed.

As if letting Lissa in on a major secret, the knitter leaned close and whispered, "That's what I studied. I taught third grade until I married my beloved Henry, God rest his soul."

Lissa's shoulders softened as her eyes locked on the face of her new friend, "I can tell you were a wonderful teacher and wife."

"Oh my," she chuckled, "You're very sweet. What grade do you want to teach?"

"The younger, the better. Kindergarten or First Grade would be perfect," Lissa stated. Changing the subject back to her new friend, Lissa softly smiled and set her hand on the knitter's forearm, "How long ago did your husband pass away?"

"Five years ago now," she shared as sadness took over her face. "We were married sixty years. One week after our big party, he woke up and told me he didn't feel well. By noon, he was gone. Just like that."

Lissa's arm was still resting on the woman's forearm. Lissa rubbed the knitter's thin skin and looked deeply into her eyes. She whispered with awe, "That's a long time."

"All wonderful years. My Henry went to USC too. Maybe someday you and your beau can celebrate 60 years of being happily married," she grinned. Lissa smiled at the thought. The knitter then added, "Is it inappropriate for me to ask for your name? My daughter teaches at Mount Saint Mary's. I want to tell her about you. She's waiting for me at the airport. I'm going to visit her."

"My name is Larissa Howe," Larissa disclosed. The knitter pulled a piece of scrap paper from her purse and tapped it as she handed Lissa a pen. "Can you write it down for me? My ninety year old memory isn't what it once was."

Lissa wrote down her name and an email address before asking, "And what's your name?"

With a twinkle in her eye, the knitter wrote her name and address on the bottom portion of the scrap paper. Her hand shook as she wrote. She carefully tore the paper, keeping the half with Lissa's information and handed Lissa the other half. "So wonderful to meet you, Larissa Howe. I'm Geneva. Geneva Martin."


	20. Chapter 20 - Reunion

**Chapter 20**

 **A Pivotal Year – Reunion**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

Nolan, who had been at the airport since noon, eagerly paced the waiting area. Occasionally, he gazed out the window wondering if the plane he saw on the runway was Lissa's. He checked his phone periodically to make sure he hadn't received any delay alerts via cell phone. When the pacing became monotonous, he'd venture into the hallway and double check the screen listing incoming flights. Each time, Lissa's flight was listed as en route and on time.

The waiting area was virtually empty. Besides Nolan, a woman in her 60s calmly sat and knitted. A boisterous family heartily laughed as they told stories in Spanish and waited for their traveler. The knitter occasionally looked up to observe Nolan and his anxiety. She smiled softly, unable to place him but sure that he looked familiar.

As the plane pulled into its gate, Lissa asked Geneva, "Can I help you off the plane?"

"Oh, Sunshine, you are a dear, dear girl. They have a wheelchair coming for me," Geneva explained. With a giggle, she added, "I'll be the last one off the plane."

"Can I wait with you?" Lissa requested.

"Now why would you do that? You need to run into the arms of your sweetheart," Geneva pointed out with grace. Lissa grinned and walked rapidly through the airport.

When Nolan spotted Lissa through the glass, he beamed and his heart began to pound. He felt seven times his size as he watching his petite Blondie draw near. Feeling like a football linebacker, Nolan was tempted to knock over and clear out anyone standing between him and Lissa. He beamed and the corners of his eyes wrinkled due to his wide smile. Lissa leaned playfully forward and to the side, catching Nolan's eye. She blinked and offered a soft smile as she tucked her long blonde hair behind an ear. Lissa looked down and took a deep breath.

Lissa began to walk faster as Nolan inched toward her. The two came closer and closer to one another. Although it did not seem possible that his smile could grow any wider, Nolan's did. He ran up to Larissa, picked her up and kissed her repeatedly. Lissa giggled as she reciprocated. Twisting around in a circle, Nolan chuckled as tears gathered in his eyes. His happiness and her joy were palpable. Although neither of them noticed, their reunion caught the attention of passersby who smiled at the sight of reunited young love.

Geneva, now with her daughter, insisted Elizabeth take a few pictures. She explained that she had Lissa's email and wanted to send her the adorable shots. Adoring her mother and appreciating Geneva's celebratory joy, Elizabeth did as her mother asked. She couldn't wait to find out more about the young couple and to share her observations of the young man as he waited for his beloved.

Without a word, Nolan placed Lissa's feet back on the floor and curled his arm around her firmly and proudly. With his free arm, he swung Lissa's carry on around his shoulder and reached around to grasp Lissa's wheeled suitcase.

"Wait," Lissa announced. "I want you to meet someone." She looked around and spotted Geneva watching the reunion with her hands over her heart. The young couple walked over to Geneva and Elizabeth. "Nolan, this is Geneva Martin."

Geneva giggled, "This handsome and tall young man in the nice green sweater and white shirt is your Henry, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Lissa responded breathily.

"Hi, I'm Elizabeth, Geneva's daughter," Elizabeth offered as she introduced herself to Nolan and Lissa. She turned toward Lissa and grinned, "This charming guy has been eager for you to arrive."

Nolan looked down at the floor and grinned, then looked at Lissa and admitted, "True."

After chatting briefly with Geneva and Elizabeth, the couple excused themselves and began to walk toward short-term parking.

"It is so great to see you, Shorty," Nolan mused. "So… so great to see you and hold you." In response, Lissa rested her head on Nolan's side. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, repeating, "so wonderful."

As they neared the doors that would lead them outside, Nolan led Lissa over to some chairs along the windows. He grinned as he picked her up, sat down, and placed her on his lap. Nuzzling his 5 o'clock shadow into her cheek, he slipped her hair behind her ear as his touch lingered on her ear lobe. He became lost in her eyes and she in his.

In Nolan's reality, only Lissa existed. In her present experience, only he existed. The airport patrons rushing to flights or to baggage claim didn't seem to exist. The overhead voice on the speaker sounded like a teacher from the Charlie Brown specials. The cars on the other side of the glass, honking at one another and jockeying for parking spots along the red painted curb, seemed silent.

Lissa smiled and whispered, "I love you."

Without pause, Nolan uncharacteristically blurted evenly and tenderly, "Marry me."

"What?!" Lissa giggled as she lowered her eyebrows and drew them toward the bridge of her nose. She stroked the side of his forehead and ran her fingers slowly through his hair.

"Not today or tomorrow… someday," Nolan chuckled as he raised his pinky. "Put this damn promise ring back on your tiny finger so I can tell the world I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I love you, Nolan," Lissa smiled widely, "and nothing would make me happier than to marry you someday."

"Yes!" he bellowed loudly with joy. Lissa giggled as Nolan leaned his pinky toward Lissa's ring finger. With his other hand, he pulled the ring off his finger and placed it on hers. After kissing her ring-adorned finger, Nolan whispered, "Let me take you home." He kissed her forehead, cheeks and then lips.

Hand in hand, the young couple walked to Nolan's Jeep. They continued to hold hands all the way to campus, even keeping their grasp as Nolan shifted gears.

Arriving back at the dorms, Nolan pulled up outside the entrance. He turned off the Jeep, hopped out and ran along the front of the car. After opening Lissa's door and helping her out, he pulled her bags out of the back, explaining, "I can run up the bags, you can wait in my room, and I can park the Jeep or I can run this up quickly and we can walk back from the parking lot together."

"I'll wait in your room," Lissa decided. Nolan ran her up the stairs and opened the door, quickly excusing himself with the explanation, "I've gotta be quick or I'll get towed." He provided a peck on the cheek and promised, "I'll be right back, Blondie."

While he parked, Lissa gazed out the window, then picked up each picture and let her mind wander as she studied each one. He slipped in quietly as she studied a picture of the two of them together. Stepping up behind her and wrapping his arms around her tiny waist as he leaned down, he stated, "I love that picture. I loved that whole day…"

Lissa laughed, "Yeah? You loved picking me up and wrapping me around your neck and shoulders?"

"That too," he chuckled. "It's almost three. You tired? Hungry? Ready to sight see?"

Lissa strutted over to him and rubbed her hands on his chest. I'm a little tired. Maybe a catnap is calling my name."

"Sounds nice," he whispered as he went along with her suggestion. He sprawled out on his bed and balanced on his side as he patted the spot next to him. As she neared, he pulled a pillow out that had been behind him.

With gleaming eyes and a playful grin, she kicked off her shoes and snuggled into him. As he, fully dressed, spooned her and wrapped his arm around her, he offered a sleepy smile. Gently kissing her neck, he murmured, "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," she sleepily responded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

While Ryder and Owen snorkeled and explored the ocean, Olivia and Amelia lay on the beach enjoying the warmth. Besides insisting that she stay under the shade of an umbrella, Amelia expected Olivia to apply copious amounts of sunscreen. With her red hair and pale skin, sunburn was far too likely. Simply enjoying the warm air, Olivia complied and encouraged Amelia to stretch out on the chair beside her.

In a half-dreamy state and with her eyes closed, Amelia mumbled, "Isn't this absolutely the best, Livs?"

"I love it," Olivia replied cheerfully. "Don't get mad at me when I say this, Mama, but it's really nice not sharing you with the littles."

Amelia chuckled, "It's tough sometimes, isn't it? We're so busy and there's so many of us. You know you can always tell Daddy or me if you want to talk. We'll make sure it happens."

"Sometimes it's just nice to talk, not about something planned… I mean, I like being here with you and talking like we are right now," Olivia explained.

"I hear you. I'm glad we're here together, Livs. I feel lucky to be hanging out with you," Amelia declared with love.

For quite a while, the two dozed and chatted intermittently. Conversations ranged from the clear blue sky to spotting Owen and Ryder in the ocean to favorite foods. The free-flowing talk was reassuring and fulfilling for Amelia. Until the two kicked back together, she hadn't realized how seldom she actually sat down with the kids and conversed one on one. She vowed to do so more often when they returned home.

"Mama," Olivia mused softly as both she and Amelia kept their eyes closed.

"Yeah, Liv?" Amelia responded casually.

"You know how most people who get married are a boy and a girl?" Olivia inquired.

"Yes," Amelia responded.

"But sometimes not, right?" Olivia sought to clarify.

"Right," Amelia confirmed. "Like Sofia's mommies, Dr. Robbins and Dr. Torres. They used to be married."

"Really?" Olivia responded with relief.

"Mmm Hmm," Amelia sounded without much engagement.

"How come some girls marry girls and some boys marry boys?" Olivia inquired.

"Because they love each other," Amelia replied.

"I know, but why do they like people like them instead of the other kind?" Olivia attempted to explain and sort out.

"Some people are born that way. Some girls realize that they like girls. Sometimes boys figure out that they like other boys. It just happens," Amelia answered.

"I think I like girls," Olivia stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "Is that okay?"

"Olivia, whoever you are is ok. Part of life is learning to be yourself," Amelia assured her. "When you say you like girls, what do you mean? It's more fun to play with girls because you like the same things or you feel love for them like you do for me or Daddy?"

"Both," Livs shrugged. "I mean, boys are ok, but I don't think they're cute or anything. I really love my brothers a whole lot, but I've never liked a boy at school like a boyfriend. Lots of times, I think some girls are really pretty or nice and my heart is happy when I look at them or talk to them. It's kind of like how I love you and Daddy, I guess."

"That's ok," Amelia stated.

"But Nolan and Lissa are super in love and Ryder has lots of girls at school that he likes and who like him. If I like girls, maybe I'm not normal," Olivia pondered aloud.

"Oh, honey," Amelia cooed as she propped herself up on her elbows. With a reassuring grin, she assured her daughter, "I don't believe normal is a real thing. Some people are funnier than others and some are crabbier. Some, like Ria, can't feel in their lower leg, and some are super smart. Nobody is normal, Livs. Even if normal was real, it would be boring. Imaging what life would be like if every single person was the same."

"So you're not mad or sad that I like girls? I'm not in trouble?" Olivia asked with a slight hint of concern.

"Absolutely not. I love Olivia Hunt because she is an amazing, talented, fun, creative you. I love you just the way you are and I'll love you always," Amelia acknowledged.

"What about Daddy? Will he still love me?" Olivia wondered with hesitation.

"Your daddy will love you and call you his girl your whole, whole life, Livie. If you like girls, he'll still love you. If you ever think you might like boys, he'll love you and support you while you figure that out. Daddy is nuts about you," Amelia insisted.

"I'm glad," Olivia sighed with peace as she lay back and placed her hands under her neck. "Because I really, really, really love you and Daddy too."

Amelia sat up and moved to the edge of her chair. She leaned toward her daughter and spread her arms wide. "Come here, you incredible, wonderful girl."

Livie popped up and joined Amelia on the lounge chair, hugging her tightly. As her mama enveloped her in love, Olivia felt lighter and more peaceful than she'd felt in a long time.


	21. Chapter 21 - Sneering and Sunny Skies

**Chapter 21**

 **A Pivotal Year – Sneering Sunny Skies**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle 5, Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **October 21** **st**

The next day, the family headed back to the same spot on the beach. After this second day of relaxation, Owen's conference would begin and the remaining three family members would focus on sightseeing.

After snorkeling in the ocean, Owen and Ryder both appeared perturbed as they approached the relaxed mother and daughter. "Uh oh," Olivia exclaimed when she spotted their expressions.

With her eyes closed, Amelia inquired sleepily, "What is it, Liv?"

"They're coming this way and they both look crabby," Olivia reported.

Amelia chuckled, "Do we have time to make a run for it?"

Olivia made her lips into a squiggle and sighed, "I don't think so."

Balancing her upper body on her lower arms, Amelia partially sat up. She grinned toward the guys, who now were within range. Instantly, she agreed with Olivia's assessment. "What's up, Buttercups?"

Ryder responded with a huff and rolled eyes before he lay down on a towel on the ground next to Olivia. Attempting to mask his frustration, Owen forced a fake smile and offered, "Lots of amazing fish out there. You gotta go there with me next time, Mia."

"Sounds great. What'd you see?" Amelia inquired.

With a slight shrug, Owen shared, "I'm not sure about names. Quite a few bright yellow ones. Bright blue one bigger than my fist. One red one with a white neck that had black stripes. Ry spotted a few sea turtles and pointed them out."

"Cool," Olivia responded with awe. "Ryder, how big were they?"

Unburying his face from his towel, Ryder looked directly at Liv. Quietly and without much emotion, he answered, "Probably at least three feet long. You need to go out there later. You'd really be amazed." Without delay, he buried his head back into his towel after coughing a few times. Owen glared at Ryder, and Amelia took note of what she observed.

After taking in a big breath, Owen questioned, "Are we about ready for an early lunch or a snack?"

"I'm ok," Olivia responded, and Amelia echoed her daughter. Ryder did not respond. Amelia added, "Are you hungry, O? I'll walk with you if you want to grab something."

Grimacing, Owen nodded once and folded his arms, "That'd be good. You two want anything?"

"Since you're going, maybe a water? And a cookie?" Olivia charmed. Ryder, without moving his head, mumbled, "Yeah, water, please."

Amelia stood up and approached Owen. He reached out his hand and grasped hers with a mild smirk.

After they were out of earshot, she asked, "What's up?"

Distracted, Owen blinked and made eye contact, "Huh? Nothing."

"Owen Hunt, I'm not naïve. What's the deal between you and Ryder?" Amelia pushed.

Furrowing his brows, Owen dropped his head toward the ground. "It's probably nothing. We exchanged some words. His attitude has been snarly."

"That's what happens when they turn 13, Handsome. Have you forgotten sweet little Nolan's overnight transformation to a hostile, unappreciative boar?" Amelia recounted.

Owen shook his head, "Yeah… this is different."

"He's a different kid. Ry's always been more overt with his emotions and moods. He'll probably be our great teacher in the next few years in terms of how to raise a teenager," Amelia chuckled.

"I'm done with school," Owen grumbled, but then grinned at his wife. The two reached the tiny hotel market. As he gathered bottled water in his arms and Amelia chose some snacks, Owen continued with ongoing pondering, "It's just… different, Mia. Not different like a different kid with another personality or style. Different like something is up."

"Hmmm. I guess I really haven't noticed much," Amelia shared.

"Keep an ear to the ground. Maybe I'm being too hard on him. Let me know your impressions," Owen suggested before remembering to pass along another observation, "Oh, have you noticed his cough?"

"I wish I could say 'yes,' but I was operating so much before we left, I'm not sure I noticed much of anything around home," Amelia admitted.

As Owen approached the cashier, he reached into his wallet for some cash. He glanced back at Amelia and mentioned, "Listen for it. Sounds like a smoker's cough."

"Owen…" Amelia grumbled as they left the store. "In order for him to have a smoker's cough, he'd have to smoke for years. It doesn't happen right away. You know that."

Instantly perturbed, Owen snapped back, "I said that's what it sounds like, Amelia. I didn't say that's what I thought it was."

"Sorry," Amelia smirked as she raised her eyebrows high and pursed her lips.

Owen shook his head, "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be an ass."

Leaning into Owen's side and resting her head on his arm, Amelia pointed out, "We're in Hawaii. You're giving a speech you've basically given before elsewhere. This is vacation. Deep breaths, O."

They walked arm in arm the rest of the way back in comfortable silence. When they reached the kids, the kids were arguing.

"I am so gonna tell on you!" Olivia burst with anger.

"You do and you'll wake up to find all your sweet little curls cut off," Ryder threatened.

"Woah, what's this about?" Amelia interjected.

Both kids began talking over the other and dramatically attempted to sway Amelia to their point of view. Owen smirked and lay down in one of the lounge chairs, deciding in that moment to heed Amelia's advice about enjoying his vacation.

"Stop," Amelia stated firmly as she held her hand up in front of her torso. "Olivia, what's your story?"

"It's not a story, Mama. It's the truth," Olivia insisted.

After smiling and holding back laughter, Amelia continued, "Then speak your truth, Olivia. Let's hear it." Owen continued to enjoy the show from afar.

"Ryder said something he wasn't pusposed to say and I told him that I'm telling you about it," Olivia fretted.

"Sup-pose-d," Ryder sounded out with a snarl. "You're 10 years old, Olivia, get it right."

"See?!" Olivia protested, "He's just mean, mean, mean to me all the time about everything."

After taking in a slow, deep breath, Amelia looked at Ryder and inquired, "So?"

"So, what?" Ryder stalled.

"What's your side of all this?" Amelia probed.

"Why don't you just let the two of us work it out, Mom. You're always telling us to work it out ourselves. Give us a chance to try that," Ryder stalled as Owen, his eyes closed, chuckled in the background.

"What's your side of all this?" Amelia repeated.

"Olivia is making a big deal out of nothing. That's my side of this," Ryder attempted to cover his tracks.

"Let me see if I'm clear. Olivia, you believe Ryder broke our rules. Ryder, you're ticked that Olivia is exaggerating. Am I on track?"

Ryder nodded but Olivia added, "And he's always mean to me."

"Mmm Hmm," Amelia nodded. "Olivia, why is it so important to you that you need to tell us?"

"Because he used really bad words about someone in our family," she protested.

Amelia sighed, "Ry, what did you say and about whom were you speaking?" She glanced at Owen with an expression that screamed how much she hated being the language police.

"I was talking about Anna. Olivia didn't have anything nice to say either," Ryder disclosed.

"But I didn't use really bad words. I just said she makes me angry sometimes," Olivia yelled.

"Yeah, right," Ryder snorted.

Amelia switched her gaze back and forth between the two and stated, "Slamming your little sister isn't kind, you two."

"She's just such a little b…" Ryder began and caught himself, "brat. Such a brat sometimes. She whines and she hits Ria and picks on Lucas. I get sick of her."

"Brat isn't the word you used," Olivia interjected. "You used the bad B word and called her a little f-er."

"Wow," Amelia responded as she pulled her head back slightly, "Really, Ry?"

"Umm, well… no. That's not how I meant to say it," Ryder explained.

"What did you mean to say?" Amelia prompted.

"This whole thing is stupid. Can we just all shut up and move on?" Ryder attempted, hoping to change the subject or at least put the current subject to bed. His face was beginning to display a patchy redness that hinted he was trying mightily to avoid crying.

Softly, Amelia responded, "If you need a minute, take it, Ryder. But we're coming back to the topic."

"Why don't you take a walk, Ry?" Owen suggested. Ryder, his face becoming more strained, stood up and walked toward the ocean with determination. He approached the calm and small waves and strolled along the water's edge, keeping his feet continually in the warm water.

"He's not allowed to be in the water without a grown up," Olivia tattled insistently.

"Olivia," Owen firmly replied, "you worry about you and we'll worry about Ryder."

"Do you want to know what he said?" Olivia offered proudly.

"I want Ryder to tell us, Olivia. Thanks anyway," Amelia declared.

"I don't think he should have said it," Olivia insisted, ready to burst out of her skin with anticipation.

"Thanks for sharing, Olivia," Owen calmly stated. "Do you want to go peek at the fish?"

"I'm scared of them touching me with their weird lips," Olivia explained as she puckered her mouth to imitate a fish.

"They won't touch you. They'll swim around you. I'll be there the whole time," Owen assured her.

"Mmm… I guess. Mama, can you put my hair in a braid so it doesn't get all tangly?" Olivia asked. After quickly putting a French braid in her long, curly hair, Amelia sent Olivia off to explore the waters with Owen. The two redheads walked toward the ocean hand-in-hand and were about as adorable as any sight Amelia had ever seen.

While Amelia watched the redheads in the distance, Ryder returned and inquired quietly, "Where's Dad?"

"He and Livs are snorkeling," Amelia shared. "Are you feeling better?"

"I was fine," he shrugged as he denied his near-tear moments.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Amelia questioned in her normal voice.

"Not really. It's… umm… well, it was really no big deal," Ryder tried to point out.

Ryder exhaled through his mouth and admitted, "I thought Livie and I were just venting. She started by saying that she missed Luke and Ria but not Anna. Then I responded that I understood because Anna can be a little b sometimes. Olivia started complaining about different times Anna was a brat and I listened. Then I agreed by saying, 'Yep, she can be a real f-er.' I know it's not kind or among your favorite words, but, Mom, we all know Anna drags us down sometimes."

"She does," Amelia grimaced. "I hate knowing you used those words around Olivia. She's only 10, Ryder."

Snorting, Ryder pointed out, "It's not like she doesn't already know them, Mom."

"That doesn't mean I'm cool with you throwing around f-bombs in front of her or in front of anyone for that matter," Amelia pointed out. "What's a fair consequence?"

"Tape Olivia's mouth closed for tattling," Ryder sneered.

"Nice try," Amelia offered as she rolled her eyes. "I meant for you."

"Prohibit me from talking to the three of you for the rest of the day," Ryder sarcastically brainstormed.

"That would be a reward, wouldn't it?" Amelia pushed. Ryder narrowed his eyes and stared at his mom. Determining the consequence herself, Amelia put her hand out and instructed, "Phone, please. 24 hours without using inappropriate language when referring to anyone in the family and the phone will be yours again." Since Ryder was in Hawaii and away from his friends, the inability to text people back home was aggravating. Grudgingly, he handed her the phone and closed his eyes as he lay flat on a beach towel.

As Owen and Olivia returned, Owen appeared disappointed and Olivia was beaming. Obviously, she'd told Owen what she'd heard. Owen caught Amelia's eyes and stared blankly, unable to convey his various thoughts and feelings.

"How were the fish?" Amelia questioned.

"Mama! They were swimming all around," Olivia began with enthusiasm and full arm motions, "and so, so, so colorful. Different fish were different sizes and we saw turtles – big ones and little ones. Then we saw all different kinds of coral and plants and stuff. Daddy says we can get an underwater camera so we can take pictures!"

Amelia caught Owen's eyes, not really minding his decision but teasing him about it anyway, "He does, does he?" Looking like a naughty school boy caught red handed, Owen smirked and raised his shoulders as he caught his wife's eye.

"Maybe after dinner we can run to a store and see what our options are," he suggested. Noticing Ryder's emotional and physical distancing, Owen tried to incorporate Ryder into the conversation by questioning, "How's that sound to you, Ryder?" Ryder held up his forearm slightly and gave a thumbs up sign briefly.

Olivia, sensing her opportunity to have some undivided attention, grasped Amelia's hand and pulled her toward the wet sand, saying, "Mama, let's go make a sand castle!" Amelia followed along and the two staked out an area for their creation. Without any tools or buckets, making a castle would be tricky. Even so, the time together opened up a chance to chit chat with one another.

Owen sprawled out on a lounge and sighed audibly before inquiring, "And how's Ryder?"

"Fine," he responded without raising his head.

"What kind of camera should we buy? Do you know anything about waterproof cameras?" Owen asked in an attempt to start a more extended conversation.

"Dunno and nope," Ryder answered.

"How about dinner tonight – what sounds good to you?" he tried again.

"Food," Ryder snapped.

Owen sat there for a few minutes, trying to decide how to proceed. Obviously, Ryder did not want to talk. Regardless of the topic or question, Ryder was going to find a way to answer as briefly as possible. Trying one last question, Owen inquired, "I was thinking about checking in with Nolan. Do you want to talk to him when I'm through?"

"Sure," Ryder quipped, again without raising his head.

Grabbing his cell phone, Owen called his eldest. Nolan answered right away sounding upbeat and cheerful, "Hey, Dad. How's Hawaii?"

"Beautiful. The weather is just right, the water is warm, everyone but Mom has snorkeled. It's great," Owen detailed. "How's your time with Lissa? I'm guessing she arrived without any problem."

"Yep, she did. We're having a great visit. Actually, we're at Disneyland for the day," Nolan shared as his arm wrapped around his girlfriend and as he glanced her way with a smile.

"Disneyland, huh?" Owen chuckled. "Why not?"

"Just don't tell Olivia. She'd be jealous. Ryder probably couldn't care less," Nolan expressed.

"You've got that right," Owen responded in code.

"He's right there, huh?" Nolan inquired.

"Yep," came the brief reply. "Want to talk to your brother?"

Ryder grabbed the phone and began walking away from Owen, hoping to get out of earshot. "Hey," Ryder grunted.

"What's up? How's Hawaii?" Nolan asked.

"Nice, I guess. Kind of boring because Olivia is the closest thing I have to a friend. And she's… well, you know… she's Olivia," Ryder complained.

"You're the only guy I know who could spend a week in Hawaii and find a reason to bitch about it, Ryder," Nolan teased.

"Easy for you to say, you're not here with the tattler and the language police," he grumbled.

"True, but how hard is it to watch your language for a week?" Nolan tried to assure him.

"That's a long time to inhibit my freedom of speech," Ryder pointed out.

Trying to shift to a more upbeat conversation, Nolan inquired, "What have you guys done so far?"

"Pretty much just hung out on the beach and snorkeled. The snorkeling was pretty cool," Ryder admitted. "Tomorrow, we're going to some volcano and hiking. I can hear Olivia whining already."

Nolan laughed and suggested, "What about a luau? Livs could strut her dance moves and you could watch the ladies."

"Yeah, maybe," Ryder shrugged with little emotion.

"Or maybe you could decide to do everything you can to make this the worst trip ever," Nolan nudged.

"Funny," came the sarcastic retort. Annoyed by his brother's efforts to widen his perspective, Ryder asked, "Wanna talk to Mom?"

"Sure," Nolan responded. He waited for Amelia to come on the line and then enthusiastically shared the big news, "Guess what?"

"Tell me," Amelia requested.

"I'm standing in a line with a beautiful, short blonde who happens to be wearing a ring on her finger again," Nolan boasted with controlled joy.

"She's wearing the promise ring?" Amelia sought to confirm, hoping they hadn't taken a bigger step.

"Yep. And it looks fantastic on her," Nolan cooed as he gently kissed Lissa's hand.

"That's great news, Nole. I'm really happy for you both," Amelia shared. After Amelia chatted with him awhile longer, Olivia had an opportunity to say hello before Owen approached. Once they were all within earshot of one another, Owen pointed out the time and suggested that they needed to get ready for dinner.


	22. Chapter 22 - Time Flies

**Chapter 22**

 **A Pivotal Year – Time Flies**

 **Nolan 17, Lissa 17, Ryder 13, Olivia 10**

 **Annabelle and Victoria 5, Lucas 4**

 **Autumn**

After the Hawaii adventure and Lissa's trip to USC, the Shepherd-Hunts rediscovered their regular autumnal routines. Everyone pulled out heavy coats, helped rake falling leaves, and found themselves inside by the fire more often than outside in the cold. The littles sought opportunities to help that would lead to the reward of hot cocoa, and everyone seemed to be constantly staving off the sniffles.

In addition to familiar routines, changes emerged. Once Olivia and Anna began wearing glasses, Owen and Amelia noticed significant improvement. Olivia's grades, which had always been decent, were now all A's. As she excelled in school, her energy level and enthusiasm increased beyond its already high level. Anna's behavior, while still a challenge, had settled down noticeably. She was nearly caught up to the school's expectations in reading and writing. Amelia and Owen had still not gotten around to the ADD screening that had been suggested by the school. Their intentions were good but their follow through was poor given their busy lives. Anna's meltdowns and attitude challenges remained a part of the Shepherd-Hunt reality even though everyone sought to avoid upsetting her.

The other kids were plugging along. Puberty controlled Ryder's snarky attitude and emotionality, yet he continued to excel in sports and at school. The personality change was especially difficult for Amelia as she watched her snuggly, sweet little boy slip away and become a gruff, indifferent, private teen. Lissa put in extra effort at school, hoping to graduate in January. Although her grades were not stellar when compared to the others in the Shepherd-Hunt household, she maintained a 3.25 average.

Now in his teens, Ryder was finally entrusted with hauling in firewood and stoking the fireplaces, a task he assumed with vigor. He spent a great deal of time gazing into the flames and rearranging the burning logs. The job seemed to lessen his snarky attitude a little, something for which the whole family was thankful. Occasionally, especially if his parents weren't looking, Ryder could even be spotted snuggling with a little and reading to them as they sat by the warmth of the crackling and popping flames.

Lucas and Victoria were in the midst of their first soccer season. With Ryder's extra coaching at home, which he pretended to endure even though he actually loved it, the kids were becoming decent players in their age group. Victoria, Owen once joked, seemed to pour her bottled up, seldom obvious frustrations onto the field. Soccer had become a vehicle for a sweet little girl to channel her stress effectively. Although all of her sisters were passionate about dancing, Ria left it behind without a second thought once she tried soccer. She and Lucas had also convinced their parents to enroll them in karate classes. As he struck a pose, Lucas explained that his growing skills would help keep Anna at bay.

Perhaps the most celebrated news of the fall and winter months focused on Olivia. Obtaining the coveted part of Clara in a large Seattle production of The Nutcracker, Olivia's schedule had become chock-full. Lissa had landed a minor supporting role, which was convenient in terms of scheduling rides to rehearsal. Often, with Ryder, Lucas and Ria at soccer, Anna would tag along with Lissa and Livie and watch the rehearsals. Most days, she cooperated and attempted some of the dance moves in the theatre's aisles as she watched the performers on stage. Other little sisters did likewise and a group of giggling dancers-in-training entertained the people waiting to rehearse their scene and those sitting in the theatre while another member of the family practiced for the actual show.

With flexible schedules, Owen and Amelia did what they could to arrange attendance at the soccer games and dance rehearsals. Often tag teaming, one would attend one event while the other found a way to be at the other. Lynne's presence was not sought by the kids because Lynne was a given in their daily lives. Having one of their parents present, however, was a delightful treat. Between the three adults and six kids at home, life was busy but wonderful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

One quiet morning before 6 am, Lucas came padding down in his footie jammies and discovered Ryder asleep on the couch. Barkley and Bogey were stretched out on either side of the sectional, snoring as they slept with their boy. Lucas approached Ryder and whispered loudly, "You aren't allowed to sleep on the couch overnight."

Ryder opened his eyes and lowered his brow dramatically, "Huh?"

"Mama tolded me that it's the rules that everyone sleeps in their bed. You better run up to yours before she knows you fell asleep down here," he suggested.

"Thanks for looking out for me, Champ," Ryder smirked. His hair went a multitude of directions and he ran his hands through it in an ineffective attempt to tame it. "What are you doing up?"

"I just woked up," Lucas shrugged. "If I went to Mama's bed, she'd tell me to climb in and sleep more, but I'm awake. I came down here instead."

"I'm pretty sure Mom worked all night, Luke," Ryder yawned. "I think I remember her leaving after you went to bed."

"So just Daddy's here with us?" Lucas tried to clarify.

"I think so, but I'm not sure. Maybe Lynne's here," Ryder raised his shoulders.

" _Miss_ Lynne, Ryder," Lucas instructed.

"You're bossy," Ryder chuckled.

"Yep, I am," Lucas grinned.

The front door opened and Owen popped inside breathing heavily. He'd just completed a morning run and puffed, "Hey, guys. Why are you up so early?" As he stretched, sweat dripped off his body and onto the tile in the entry. The boys, however, didn't notice.

"We're just awake," Lucas explained without actually explaining anything.

"Couldn't get back to sleep, huh?" Owen probed.

"Didn't try," Lucas responded.

Still in her PJs, Lissa came barreling down the stairs to check her phone. She spotted Ryder and Lucas before Owen and offered a cheery, "Good morning."

"Why are you up so early?" Ryder repeated Owen's question.

Lissa headed over to the basket that held all the cell phones at night and eagerly dug for hers. She shared with a dreamy smile, "Nolan's going to text me this morning." As she turned around to return to bed, she spotted Owen on her way to the stairs. "Hey, Dads," she offered casually.

"Liss…"Owen greeted.

After Lissa returned to her room, Victoria headed down the hallway. With a giant yawn, Victoria stretched as she descended the staircase. She perked up when she saw Owen and ran over to hug him. "Daddy!"

"Hey, sweetheart," Owen smiled as he reciprocated his daughter's hug, then picked her up in his arms.

"Umm, Daddy?" Ria stated reluctantly. "You need to take a shower. You're all wet and kinda smelly."

"I am, huh?" Owen chuckled. "What about you?" he teased as he loudly sniffed his little girl and playfully rubbed his nose in her hair. Ria giggled and delighted in her Daddy's attention.

"I took a bath last night, silly. I smell pretty," Ria offered.

"You smell like strawberries," he described.

"That's my new bubble bath," she explained. Peering out the window to make sense of motion she'd spotted peripherally, Ria announced, "Mama's home!"

Owen walked to the door and opened it for his tired wife. "Hey," she mumbled sleepily.

"Tough night?" he inquired with concern as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Bad car accident. Two brain bleeds, one neurosurgeon and one resident. I was shuffling between ORs for hours," she shared. Amelia shuffled into the house with her eyes half open. "Hey, guys," she offered to the medley of kids she spotted without taking a moment to figure out which kids were present. "I'm going to bed."

"You're on this morning, Mia," Owen grimaced. "I'm due at the hospital in an hour."

"That's not gonna work, O," she stated as they reached the bedroom. She threw her scrub top off and unhooked her bra before undoing the tie on the pants. As Amelia climbed into the bed nude, Ria pointed out, "Mama, you forgot to put on jammies. You're nakey." Amelia smiled and offered a sleepy, closed-mouth laugh as her closed eyes hit the pillow.

Owen set Ria on the foot of the bed and shared, "I'm going to hop in the shower, Ree. You want to keep my spot warm for me?"

"Uh huh," she smirked as she crawled up toward the headboard and embraced Owen's oversized pillow.

"Let Mommy sleep, ok? If you need anything, go ask Ryder, don't wake Mommy up," he instructed.

After showering, shaving and putting on a suit, Owen was nearly ready for work. As he combed his hair, Anna, who had awoken while Owen showered, sat on the counter and watched with intrigue. "I like your curls, Daddy," she shared. "They're handsome."

"Thanks, honey," Owen smirked as he kissed Anna's forehead and then the tip of her nose. He lifted her off the counter and placed her on the floor before taking a deep breath and bracing himself for his final task before leaving for the hospital.

He walked down the hall and knocked on Lissa's door. "It's Saturday. Go back to sleep," Lissa grumbled, assuming one of the littles was trying to wake her up.

"It's Dads," Owen offered.

"What?" Lissa groaned with a drawn out pace.

Owen opened the door and grimaced, "I know this isn't ideal, but Mia just came home and was up all night. I need you to step up and help me out with the kids until she wakes up."

"What are you gonna do next year when I don't live here anymore?" Lissa yawned.

"Miss you tremendously," Owen smiled.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" Lissa joked as she rose to the call, "Go to work. I've got this."

"Lucas and Ria have a game at 10. I can't remember if Ry needs a ride to practice today, but I'm pretty sure Livie has dance rehearsal in the afternoon. Check the calendar on the fridge," he advised as he hurried down the stairs.

Lissa sat on her bed and stretched, catching Anna's stare. "What's going on, Anna? Is everyone up already?" Anna reported everyone's whereabouts and begged to help make breakfast. Lissa threw on a robe and dragged herself downstairs. Another Saturday in autumn had begun to unfold.


	23. Chapter 23 - Making Deals

**Chapter 23**

 **A Pivotal Year – Making Deals**

 **Nolan almost 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Thursday, December 16** **th** **and Friday, December 17** **th**

 _ **Thursday, December 16**_ _ **th**_ _ **, past bedtime**_

"Can we talk about the kids?" Amelia inquired softly as she and Owen lay in the dark, neither yet asleep.

"Yeah… I guess," Owen, tired and hoping for a solid night's sleep, agreed reluctantly.

"Never mind," she responded without emotion as she turned toward the outside of the bed.

A few quiet moments passed before Owen rolled his eyes, mostly for his own benefit of releasing his frustration. Obviously, he had just provided the wrong answer. "Mia," he whispered, "I'm fading. I didn't mean to sound reluctant or indifferent."

She didn't respond and breathed steadily, irritated with herself that she felt a little teary.

"Hey," Owen began again as his strong hand wrapped around her shoulder. He nuzzled into her neck and whispered, "Talk to me. What's on your mind?"

She rolled on to her back rather than over to her other side so she'd be facing him. A sliver of light from the hallway slipped in under the bedroom door. Barely able to see one another, Owen leaned toward his wife. He hoped if he was closer, he'd be able to make out her expression. Unsuccessful, he slid his hand down her arm and grasped her hand. He decided two bids to encourage her to talk were plenty; if she wanted to talk, she'd do so in her own time. Resting his head on the edge of her pillow, Owen closed his eyes and lay against her.

After a few minutes, just as Owen began to fall asleep, Amelia slid out of bed and walked toward the door. Noticing the movement, Owen's hoarse voice inquired, "What's up?"

"I thought I heard one of the twins…" Amelia stated as she stood at the door.

Clearing his throat, Owen offered, "Do you want me to check on them?" He tried to sound caring and loving rather than sleepy and disinterested.

"Will you? That'd be great," Amelia responded as she returned to the bed.

"Of course," he managed without enthusiasm but also holding back a groan. He threw on a pair of gym shorts and headed into the hallway. Silence permeated the air. He noticed a light on in Ryder's room, so he walked down to the door, quietly knocked and stated quietly, "Ry, light's out."

"Yeah…ok," Ryder mumbled as he hid his cell phone, which should have been in a basket in the kitchen, under his blankets. He turned off his bedside lamp and Owen headed back to Amelia. He noticed someone had left the light on in the hall bath. Flipping the light off, Owen yawned and looked forward to falling back into bed.

Without chatting, he slid under the blankets and lay on his back. He rested his hands behind his neck and closed his eyes. Inching her way toward his body, Amelia snuggled up next to his chest and he brought his arm down and wrapped it around her body. He kissed her forehead and leaned his cheek against her head.

"O?" she whispered.

"Hmm?" he sounded.

"Can we talk about the littles?" she requested.

"Sure, Mia," he agreed, attempting to sound invested and interested.

"I want to talk about discipline when it isn't a hot topic between us," she shared with a touch of sadness.

Softly, he replied, "Is this a productive conversation to have at 11pm?" He rubbed his hand along her arm, hoping she'd see the logic of his question.

"It seems like the only time we discuss it is after one of the kids has been spanked, then we fight and argue, and there's tension until we give up and ignore that the topic came up again," she described accurately.

"True," he uttered.

"I know you believe that you've sorted out your decisions and feel confident about the occasional slap on the rear when something safety-related has occurred, but, Owen, I really have a problem with it," she explained.

"I know you do," he answered before adding, "and I think there are times – rare occasions – when reasoning with a small child or sending them to time out is ineffective and a firm smack is warranted."

"We're not going to get anywhere on this, are we?" Amelia observed.

Thinking to himself, Owen grumbled, _That's why I pointed out the time, Mia. Late at night is not a good time to sort out differences of opinion for God's sake._

Not hearing an answer, Amelia pushed, "You're not willing to budge, are you?"

With an exasperated sigh, Owen ran his free hand through his hair and huffed, "I don't know, Mia. Can we discuss this another time?"

"How about this?" she proposed as she rambled. "Next time there's some sort of safety-related problem that, in your estimation, would warrant a spanking, you let me take the lead. I'll try my way first. If it doesn't work, then fine, smack their little bums from here to China. Hell, smack my ass from here to China for all I care. But first, let me handle the initial discipline."

He smiled at her snarky remark and squeezed her body a little closer to his in response. Barely able to remain awake, he agreed. Mostly to end the conversation, he mumbled, "Deal." Then he kissed the top of her head and surrendered to sleep.

Turning to kiss his face, Amelia whispered sincerely, "Thank you." Satisfied to at least attain a temporary agreement about the littles, she decided to stop. Once again, she was puting off discussing Olivia's sexuality with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

 _ **Friday, December 17**_ _ **th**_ _ **, after school**_

Nolan arrived home for an extended Christmas break in mid-December. He had been eager to drive over the pass in Southern Oregon with the Jeep and experience driving in the snow. After the snow began to accumulate, he and Owen argued about whether he would drive or fly home. Eventually, mostly because he didn't want a disagreement haunting his time at home, Nolan submitted to Owen's preference and booked a flight.

The day Nolan flew home, Lissa had just enough time to gather the littles after school and get to the airport. Lynne covered the other necessary rides to soccer and Nutcracker practice. She was eager to see 'her boy' too and had planned to serve one of his favorite meals that night.

With only one biggie, as the littles had begun to refer to anyone ten or older, the littles were sternly warned about holding hands and staying with Lissa. Amelia had discussed it with them the previous night, Owen had mentioned it as he kissed them all goodbye that morning, and Lynne reiterated the message after school.

During the drive to the airport, Lissa tested their knowledge, "What are we going to do when we're at the airport?"

The trio would respond in unison, "Hold hands."

"And what if someone has to use the bathroom?" she inquired.

"We'll all go together," Victoria responded.

Lucas quickly added, "But we'll try to find a family bathroom so I don't have to go in the girl's bathroom, right?"

"I promise," Lissa guaranteed.

"What should you do if you and I are separated?" Lissa quizzed.

"Find someone who looks like a police officer or someone who works at the counters," Anna recalled.

"Excellent," Lissa praised. "We're going to be super safe and have fun together."

"And," Lucas giggled and clapped, barely able to contain his joy, "we get to be the first ones to see Nolan!"

When Lissa approached the airport and turned toward the parking structure, the littles were mesmerized by the airplanes and activity. Their excitement about seeing Nolan only increased as Lissa parked the Enclave and turned off the motor. Knowing Ria would likely be the most obedient, Lissa let her unbuckle and climb down first. While Ria kept her hands on the back tire as all the kids had been taught to do when they were younger, Lissa let Anna be next. Lucas, used to age order, was last.

Still in their school uniforms, the four kids looked like half of the Von Trapp Family from Sound of Music as they walked through the airport. Lissa held Lucas' hand and placed Victoria next to him. With her other hand, Lissa held Anna's hand. As they strolled, the littles pointed airplanes out to one another and determined which ones were their favorites. The honor was bestowed mostly based upon size and colors. When they spotted the purple and pink Hawaiian Airlines planes, the girls bickered about who would own those planes when they grew up.

Lucas, serving as self-appointed mediator, instructed, "One of you can have the blue airplanes with the red and orange stripes and the other one gets the purple and pink ones. I get the ones with animals on the back."

"I want the animal ones," Victoria whined slightly, tired from her school day and hungry for a snack.

"Then Anna gets the purple and pink ones, you get the animal ones, and I get all the rest," Lucas declared with pride at having successfully resolved the conflict.

"I wanna work inside the airplane," Anna announced. "I can hand out treats and Ryder can fly the plane."

"It'd be fun to get to be the suitcase thrower," Lucas imagined as he watched the baggage handlers throw bags onto a conveyor. "I want that job so I can work outside and use my big muscles."

"What airport job do you want to do, Ria?" Lissa inquired.

"Is there an airport PT or doctor?" Ria wondered.

"Hmm… I'm not sure," Lissa joined in wondering.

Ria shrugged and explained, "I want a hospital kind of job so maybe I won't work at an airport."

"Makes sense," Lissa affirmed.

Seeing a huge open space where he could run, Lucas let go of Lissa's hand and ran off at full speed. He dragged Ria alongside him as she laughed and joined in the sprint.

"That's not allowed," Anna stated plainly to Lissa.

After exhaling a huge breath, Lissa agreed but stayed calm as she locked her eyes on the escapees.

"If Daddy was here, he'd spank them," Anna declared. "Are you going to spank them?"

"No, I'm not," Lissa replied as she quickened her step. The two turned around and ran back toward Lissa and Anna, deciding to say hello before passing them in the other direction.

Since they were still within earshot, Lissa snapped her fingers and firmly began counting. The kids stopped in their tracks and clued in. She snapped again and held out her hand, commanding, "Lucas, hold hands. Now."

"I'm sorry, Lissa," Lucas offered with a pouty lower lip as he slinked to her.

Lissa bent down and looked Lucas in the eye, "We had an agreement, didn't we?" Lucas nodded reluctantly. Lissa continued, "What was it?"

"We were gonna stay together and hold hands and be good and stuff," Lucas recited.

"This isn't going to happen again, is it?" Lissa stated with a blank expression and Lucas shook his head. She shifted her gaze to Ria, who was also shaking her head. Standing up, Lissa continued to the waiting area and planted her gang by the window where they could watch airplanes land and takeoff.

A few minutes later, spotting the uniformed gang without a problem, Nolan ran over and picked Lissa up from behind. She screamed but quickly recovered from the surprise. He put her down, turned her around, and picked her up again to kiss her. The kids, who'd heard Lissa's reaction, surrounded Nolan and began pulling on his sweater and jacket. All three begged to be picked up. After pecking Lissa's forehead, Nolan sat down on the floor and let the littles attack him. They were all laughing and celebrating as they mobbed him.

"Should we go home? You can climb on me there," Nolan suggested. The littles all agreed and requested to be held. Lucas ended up on Nolan's back and each twin held one of his hands as they proceeded to baggage claim. Lissa held Ria's other hand, hoping she wouldn't run off again. Nolan stopped at a set of chairs outside the baggage claim area and instructed the littles to wait for him there. He walked over to the conveyor and waited for his two bags. The littles occasionally called out and waved at their big brother who waved back and winked.

Once he pulled his suitcase and duffle bag over, Nolan pondered, "What will work better? You could wait at the curb with my bags and I'll take the kids and drive around or we could all walk to the car and have extra full hands."

With a smile, Lissa declared, "Let's just go for it. Let's all walk." Immediately, the whining commenced. The littles shared that they didn't want to walk all the way to the car. Eventually, they determined another plan. Nolan stayed at the chairs with the littles while Lissa walked to the car in peace and drove around. About ten minutes later, she pulled up and put the Enclave in park. Nolan had given each little a bag to slow them down and he supervised their efforts. Lucas bent down like the Hunchback of Notre Dame as he balanced Nolan's backpack. Ria held one handle of Nolan's duffle and he held the other. Anna pulled the wheeled suitcase with Nolan's assistance. Before walking over to help, Lissa snapped a quick picture and giggled at the sight.

Nolan loaded his bags in the back and walked around to the driver's side while Lissa helped the littles buckle into their car seats. He started the car, changed the radio station and turned up the volume. Appreciating Nolan's taste in music, Lucas responded by head banging in his seat and attempting to sing along. Before putting the Enclave in 'drive,' Nolan leaned over to Lissa and began an extended kiss. Whispering, he proclaimed, "I'm so glad to see you, Blondie."

She whispered back, "I'm happy you're home."


	24. Chapter 24 - Questions

**Chapter 24**

 **A Pivotal Year – Questions**

 **Nolan almost 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Friday, December 17** **th** **,** _ **evening**_

When Nolan, Lissa, and the littles pulled in to the driveway, everyone burst through the front doors and ran outside despite the chilly early evening temperatures. Amelia, Owen, Livie, and Ryder approached the Enclave and surrounded Nolan in a group hug when he walked toward them. Once freed from their car seats, the littles once again mobbed their big brother. Everyone exchanged greetings and offered hugs or pats on the back.

Owen playfully grabbed Nolan's hair that had not been cut since August and joked, "Hmm…what's this about?" Nolan smirked but offered no explanation.

Not having heard the father-son interaction, Amelia reached up and messed up Nolan's full head of hair. She teased, "Are you in a contest with the girls, Shaggy?" Little did they know he'd decided to shave off a goatee before heading to LAX that morning.

While the attention was focused on Nolan, Amelia pulled Lissa aside and asked about the littles' behavior at the airport. Once she heard the report, she grimaced and thanked Lissa for dealing with the kids.

As the crowd moved inside and Nolan greeted Lynne with a warm hug, Amelia called Lucas and Ria over. Wound up by the excitement of Nolan's return, they ran over without a care in the world. Amelia knelt down and Lucas popped into Amelia's arms.

Ria hung on Amelia's shoulder, inquiring, "What's up, Buttercup Mama?"

"I understand that you two ran off from Lissa at the airport," Amelia stated as she honed in on both of the kids.

The smiles faded from their happy faces as Ria admitted the truth with hesitation. Lucas retorted, "But we listened when she told us to come back."

"I'm glad you did, Lucas, but I'm more concerned that you ran off in the first place," Amelia clarified. As Lucas' bottom lip quivered, Ria dropped her chin toward the ground and mumbled an apology.

"Well, my darlings, let's take a time out so you can think about your decisions," Amelia commanded gently.

"But, Mommy, Nolan just got home and dinner's ready," Lucas whined.

"Yep," Amelia nodded. "Head to the stairs, Mr. Man. Ria, go sit outside the playroom door."

As the kids headed where they'd been directed, Owen walked by and slipped his hand onto Amelia's lower back. He was completely unaware of the situation, and smirked at her before saying, "Let's get everyone to the table, Mia." He pecked her on the cheek before heading toward the dining room.

Owen beamed as he presided and took in the reality of his family gathered together for the first time in months. As he glanced at the two empty spots and mumbled to Amelia, "Where are Lucas and Ria?"

"In time out. I'm on it. Let's eat," Amelia stated in a matter-of-fact, casual tone as she bit into a roll.

"Why? What's up?" he questioned as he leaned toward her.

"I'm handling it, Owen," she said with a forced smile. After raising her eyebrows slightly and moving her chin to the side, he understood her firm hint to stop questioning.

"Let's check in," he smiled widely as he scanned the family and rubbed his flattened hands together.

Olivia raised her hand eagerly and bounced in her chair in an attempt not to stand up, "I know! I know! Two truths and a lie about our day!"

Thrilled someone was as eager to connect as he was, Owen wondered, "Who starts?"

"I start," Olivia announced, "Nolan can guess my answers because you guys already know."

Owen and Nolan chuckled and exchanged a glance, then Nolan put his forearms on the table and leaned toward Livs, "Go for it, Red."

Olivia began after great thought, "So, today I wore glasses during reading and I danced and practiced a solo part of The Nutcracker and I thought about when I went to Hawaii."

"Those all sound true," Nolan hunched.

Slapping her forehead with her hand, Olivia rolled her eyes and exclaimed, "Oh, man! They are. I messed up. Ok, ok, ok… I'll do it again. I wore glasses during reading, I thought about when I went to Hawaii and I played with Bogey and Barkley."

Holding back laughter about the obvious answer, Nolan pretended to think through his response, "I'm going to take a chance and guess that you didn't play with the dogs."

"You got it. Now it's your turn," Olivia announced.

"Yeah, give it a go, Master of the Obvious," Ryder grumbled sarcastically.

Meanwhile, Amelia scooted off to talk to Lucas and Ria. She walked over to Ria and led her to the stairs where Lucas was rolling around and playing with his fingers while he waited to be freed. "Now why were you both in time out?" Amelia asked calmly.

"Because we runned away from Lissa at the airport and didn't hold her hand the whole, whole time," Lucas explained as Ria nodded in agreement.

"What could you have done instead?" Amelia inquired as she looked at Ria.

"Stayed with Lissa and hold her hand the whole time," Ria offered.

"Tomorrow, we're going to have a test. Since you probably would have held Lissa's hand for about half an hour if you'd held it the whole time, you're each going to take a turn holding my hand wherever I go for half an hour," Amelia explained.

"What if you have to go potty?" Lucas questioned with curiosity.

"We'll figure something out, Luke," Amelia nodded with assurance. "Now let's go to the table. Before you sit down, you need to tell Lissa that you're sorry."

When they approached the table, they heard Nolan put forth, "Let's see… Today I drove two different cars, read a whole book, and rode on two airplanes. Who's guessing?"

"Whoever you choose, Silly. Don't you play this at school?" Olivia questioned.

"Right," Nolan recalled, "Annabelle Bananabelle." After fulfilling a request to repeat his statements, Anna guessed.

"You didn't drive two cars because nobody can drive two cars at the same time," Anna reasoned.

"I drove my Jeep before I went to the airport in Los Angeles, and I drove the Enclave from the Seattle airport to here," Nolan explained.

"Then I'm guessing you didn't read a whole book," Anna put forth.

"Sorry… I really did that," Nolan shrugged. "Now what happens, Livie?"

"You can decide to go again or to just let Anna go anyway," Olivia made up.

"Do you want to go, Anna?" Nolan inquired.

Anna agreed and declared, "Ok, Daddy, you're my guesser. I wore my glasses to recess, I fed the dogs this morning before school and I helped pick up Nolan at the airport."

Narrowing his eyes and pretending to enter into deep thought, Owen moved his joined lips from side to side, "You didn't feed the dogs. That's Ryder's job."

"I did! I did! We traded jobs today," Anna celebrated. "Guess again, guess again!"

"You didn't wear your glasses at recess?" he asked as if thoroughly confused.

"Good job, Daddy. You guessed it right," Anna smirked.

Owen glanced over to see both Lucas and Ria giving Lissa hugs. He began his truths and a lie by saying, "Today I went to a budget meeting, showed the interns some new suture techniques, and delivered a baby. Mia."

"You didn't deliver a baby," Amelia guessed as she rolled her eyes.

With a beaming smile, Owen sat up proudly and declared, "I did. Mom came in fully dilated and OB didn't get downstairs in time. It was a baby girl."

"Serious? You're messing with me," Amelia pushed.

"Nope, I'm not. I truly brought a child into the world today. Well… the mom did most of the work but I was there to catch it," Owen quickly clarified.

"I didn't hear about any budget meetings today," Amelia guessed.

"Ha! My own wife doesn't even know what I did today. I went to a budget meeting right before lunch," he admitted. "I'm going again and choosing you again, Miss Mia."

"This is going to get boring, Mr. Owen," Amelia quipped.

"This morning, I ran three miles. I had the oil changed in the Boxster after my shift, and I wore a blue tie with tiny white dots on it," Owen tested.

"This is a trick question," Amelia protested as she flirted. "You didn't wear that tie."

Owen threw his arms in the air and exclaimed, "My own wife, who works with me and sees me several times throughout the day, didn't even notice my tie."

"Oh, great," Amelia grumbled. "I can't remember the last time you took care of car issues yourself instead of staffing it out."

"You caught me," Owen smiled as he wrapped his hand around her head and kissed her.

"Ryder, listen up," Amelia warned playfully. Ryder glared over. He'd rather have his fingernails pulled out one by one than play this game with his dorky family. "I operated on a Grade 2 teratoma this morning, charted my notes immediately after the surgery, and ate an apple and a sandwich for lunch." Amelia sat back with a Cheshire cat grin and waited for Ryder's guess.

"Pick the notes…she never charts on time…never," Owen whispered loudly for all to hear.

"O, it's not your guess," Amelia giggled as she lightly pushed his arm.

"Even though Dad says to pick the notes one, I'm guessing you ate something else for lunch," Ryder ventured.

"You guessed it, stinker," Amelia admitted as she turned to Owen and lightly whined, "I do too chart my notes on time… sometimes."

"Sometimes is a relative term," Owen scoffed as he made quote marks in the air with his fingers.

"Luke, you're up," Ryder announced. "Today I pet the dogs, I went to school and I took a test in math."

"Umm… no math test," Lucas guessed.

"You're so brilliant," Ryder groaned in a monotone voice. Owen raised his eyebrows with a fatherly warning glance while Amelia pursed her lips and folded her arms. Pretending not to notice them, Ryder put his forearms on the table and rested his head on them.

"Ree. This morning I was wearing Superman PJs when I woke up. I brushed my teeth and I peed in the toilet," Lucas declared with a fit of giggles. Amelia closed her eyes and shook her head slowly while Owen lost control and broke into laughter. While everyone reacted to his preschool hilarity, Lucas sat proudly and drew his eyes toward the ceiling as he displayed a coy grin.

Eventually the laughter died down and Ria guessed, "You forgot to brush your teeth."

"Yep!" Lucas celebrated as he breathed on his sister who gently pushed him away.

"That's gross, Lucas," Ria stated. Luke shrugged and continued to revel in the laughter he'd brought about. "Lissa, I'm picking you," Ria announced.

Ryder, without moving his head, droned, "She's the only one who hasn't gone, Einstein. Of course you're picking her."

"Ryder…" Owen sounded firmly in warning.

"See if you can trick me," Lissa challenged with a smile.

"Today I ran super fast; I wrote my whole, whole name; and I unbuckled on the way to the airport," Ria proposed.

"I _know_ you ran, so that's a truth. You know you'd be in tons of trouble if you unbuckled, so I'm guessing that's your lie," Lissa reasoned.

"You're right. Now you go," Ria smiled as she clapped in celebration.

"Best for last," Nolan said quietly as he held Lissa's hand.

Fluttering her eyes, Lissa predictably chose Nolan. "I got an A on my English essay, I kissed my boyfriend, and I helped pick out tonight's menu." All three were plausible and Nolan wondered if he should question Lissa's cooking talents or her abilities to earn an A.

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, affirming, "I know you kissed your boyfriend." After a brief pause, he decided to doubt the food over the academics so he wouldn't be accused later of not believing she could earn an A. "I'm not sure you had time in your busy day to help with the menu."

"Final answer?" Lissa smirked.

Nolan chuckled and nodded firmly, "Yes."

"You're right," Lissa giggled as she rubbed Nolan's lower arm with the hand he wasn't holding. The non-stop cooing and lovebird eyes had returned to the family table, something nobody but Lissa and Nolan had missed.


	25. Chapter 25 - Oh, Daddy

**Chapter 25**

 **A Pivotal Year – Oh, Daddy**

 **Nolan almost 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Saturday, December 18**

At the breakfast table on a slow Saturday morning, cereal boxes were passed around the table and everyone picked out his or her favorite. Nolan and Lissa returned to their familiar, endearing and borderline-disturbing routine of silently tending one another. While Lissa poured milk for both her cup and Nolan's, Nolan filled both bowls with cereal. Working like a surgeon and scrub nurse in a well-rehearsed surgery, the synchronicity was evident.

Lucas, having learned over the years from watching Ryder and Nolan, joined the Shepherd-Hunt boy tradition of mixing a little bit of each cereal into one bowl.

"You do know you'll need to eat that creation you're making, right?" Owen asked with raised eyebrows and a grin.

"Mmm Hmm. This is what my brothers do. I wanna be like them," Lucas explained clearly.

Nolan glanced over at Ryder, "Such a brilliant prodigy."

"He's lucky to have us," Ryder nodded with certainty.

Other than the humble young males, yawns replaced the customary family banter at the morning table. With Nolan's return the previous day, Owen and Amelia suspended regular bedtimes so the kids could reconnect and play with their big brother. Olivia, determined to begin proving that she no longer needed a set bedtime as she neared 11 years old, tried to conceal her yawns. She pretended to cough and covered her mouth, then she dropped her fork so she'd have to bend down and retrieve it. Lastly, she stretched her neck so she was facing the windows and reported spotting a seal in the lake.

"You did not see a seal," Ryder groused as he outed his little sister. "You're just looking for a reason to yawn without being seen."

"I am not," Olivia grimaced as she shook her head.

Laughing, Ryder retorted, "Olivia, don't lie. Every time you do something unusual this morning, you yawn like a snake with an unhinged jaw."

"Daddy! Ryder just called me a snake," she whined beyond the reaction Ryder's words might warrant.

Owen peeked over his coffee mug as he swallowed a sip of coffee and chose to ignore the drama. Instead, with a perky tone, he inquired, "Who has plans today? What's up?"

Amelia shared, "Ry, Olivia and I are going shopping. We have two monkeys in the house who won't stop growing." In response, Olivia imitated a monkey as the littles roared with laughter and joined in the monkey moves and sounds.

"I wanna go to Forever 21 first," Olivia claimed.

"We can do that," Amelia agreed. "What about you, Ry? Where do you want to go?"

"Away…" he grumbled. Amelia let out a big breath and glanced at Owen. Ryder's attitude seemed to be worse each day. Sure, he was in his early teens, but his snarls and snark seemed to pervade every moment of his existence. Round one with teens, when Nolan was younger, had been more of an unpredictable up and down emotional roller coaster. So far, Ryder's same years were more like a fast-flowing water slide that headed only in one direction: down.

"Lissa and I thought we'd do a little Christmas shopping," Nolan offered in an attempt to revive the conversation.

"You want to ride with us to the mall?" Amelia perked up.

Nolan paused, wanting to be pleasant and not scoff in disgust. After smirking at Lissa, whose expression begged for him to decline, Nolan gently explained, "Well, Mom… we're buying presents for you and Dad. We don't want to take a chance that you'll see them ahead of time."

As she brought a bite to her mouth, Amelia innocently shrugged and suggested, "You could put your bags in the back and ours could go up front. We'll figure something out."

"Mia," Owen whispered. Amelia glanced up at her husband with confusion. Without another word, he placed his hand gently on her forearm and shared a silent signal that he'd explain later.

"Anyway," Lissa peeped, "what are you doing, twins?"

Looking toward her parents, who normally set the social schedule, Ria raised her shoulders and inquired, "What are we doing?"

"The little brigade will be stuck with Daddy," Owen smirked. Faking a stern and gruff voice and expression, he detailed, "We are not going to have any fun, there will be no laughing, and absolutely no snacks."

"Daddy!" Anna groaned as she slapped her hand onto her forehead, "You're being silly."

"He didn't say 'No Barbies'!" Ria pointed out with a giggle. "Lucas, you and Daddy have to play Barbies with us."

"Nuh uh," Lucas protested. "Me and Daddy are doing Legos. Right, Daddy?"

"How about if the employed Barbies build homeless Barbie a new Lego house?" Owen attempted.

With lowered brows and an expression that declared Owen was the nerdiest Dad ever, Ria grasped Anna's hand and shared, "Daddy…. Barbies don't live in Lego houses." Her tone of voice indicated that she was concerned she was disclosing surprising news.

As breakfast concluded, everyone went about their chores. The littles cleared the table, and Olivia wiped it down and put cereal boxes, milk, and other food away. Grudgingly and with great disgust, Ryder began the dishes. Nolan, no longer part of the regular routine, leaned over to Lissa. He wrapped his arm around her and whispered, "Let's give Pollyanna a break and take over the dishes."

Lissa smirked at Nolan's name commentary and agreed. She stood up and walked toward Ryder. Bumping into him on purpose, she ordered playfully, "Get outta the way, Mister. My man and I have this covered."

Looking at Lissa with a mixture of contempt and confusion, Ryder responded, "Huh?"

"We'll do the dishes," Lissa stated more clearly. "Go on. Feed your dogs and go about your day. Get out of our way."

Turning off the water, Ryder narrowed his eyes and skeptically considered Lissa's words. He slowly questioned, "What's the catch?"

Nolan interrupted with a smile, "No catch. It's called 'being nice,' Ry. We're being nice. Get the hell outta here."

"You guys are weird, but I'm not going to stop you," Ryder sighed as he shook his head and dried his hands with a dishtowel. He headed out to the garage to greet the only living beings in the house that he seemed to like.

Amelia, her hands full of unfolded blankets she'd gathered from around the house, called over to Lucas, "Mr. Man, come hold my hand. It's time for your half hour."

"My what?" Lucas questioned, honestly having forgotten about Amelia's creative consequence for the running loose at the airport.

"Remember?" Amelia asked mildly. "You and Ria ran away from Lissa yesterday…"

"Oh, yeah," Lucas responded as he stood up and walked toward Amelia. "What do I do now?"

"Since you couldn't hold Lissa's hand the whole time at the airport, you need some practice. We're going to hold hands for a whole half hour. If I do anything, you'll be right there with me," Amelia re-explained.

Without excitement, but also without an attitude, Lucas reached out his hand. He and Amelia attempted to find ways to collaboratively fold the blankets she'd collected. When those efforts became comical, Amelia had Lucas hold on to her t-shirt as she folded the blankets. Once the folding was complete, the duo returned to hand holding as Amelia straightened up sofa pillows and tidied the living room.

After fifteen minutes of the hand holding half hour, Owen came bouncing down the stairs in his ratty sweats and faded Army t-shirt. He surveyed the room and beamed, "Hey, Luke, come see Daddy. Let's play Legos."

Cherishing the rare invitation to have one-on-one time with his daddy, Lucas began to pull on Amelia's hand. She uttered, "Uh… uh…"

Taking a step back, he dropped his eyes to the ground and admitted to Owen, "I can't play right now."

Owen, not knowing about the hand holding discipline, walked over to Amelia and Lucas. Amelia had moved on to wiping the kitchen bar counter with her free hand. Kneeling down, Owen questioned, "Of course you can play Legos, Buddy. Let's make something cool… like a boat or an operating room." Nolan and Lissa, finishing the dishes at the kitchen sink, scoffed softly at the OR suggestion.

"He can't, Owen," Amelia flatly shared.

Owen stood up and looked at his wife with confusion, "Why not?"

"Why not, Lucas?" Amelia prompted the 4 year old.

"Because I runned away from Lissa at the airplanes yesterday. Now I gotta hold Mama's hand for a half hour," he admitted with a slightly pouty lip.

Mouthing his response, Owen's lips communicated, "Really?!"

"I get first round, remember," Amelia stated clearly. Owen nodded and walked off while running his hand through his hair. Amelia's creative discipline seemed ineffective to him. Besides, he'd really been in the mood for Legos. Now that he'd lost his playmate, Owen wasn't sure what he'd do. Like one of the kids, he wandered around the house aimlessly. Finally, he ascended the stairs and disappeared.

Around 10:00 am, the chores were complete. Amelia continued to drag Lucas around the house as she completed miscellaneous tasks. Lucas' boredom increased as the 30 minutes counted down. Ryder and Olivia were getting ready to head out to the mall. Owen kicked back in the comfortable chair in the Master Bedroom, and the twins played together in their bedroom. Nolan and Lissa, frustrated by the continuing rule about only hanging out together in public spaces of the house, sat on the living room sofa whispering and laughing as they held hands, softly stroked one another's cheeks, and slipped fingers into each another's hair. When the stars in their eyes began to dim, they headed to the mall where, ironically, they'd experience more privacy amidst the many shoppers. The quiet morning flowed along peacefully.

After a while, in anticipation of Lucas' freedom, Owen hopped up and retrieved some Legos from Lucas' room. He dragged the large Rubbermaid bin into the Master Bedroom and began to set up an area on the floor for some interlocking creations. The second Amelia knelt down and concluded the hand holding lesson, Lucas ran full tilt to his dad and jumped into his arms. "Let's play, Daddy, let's play!" he exclaimed.

"Buddy, don't get in trouble like that again… I had to wait sooooo long to play Legos," Owen shared.

Lucas patted Owen's shoulder and praised, "You waited nice, Daddy. Good job." While Amelia hopped in to the shower, the two buddies commenced in creating a Lego world that would eventually take over a large portion of the Master Bedroom.

A few minutes later, as Amelia hopped out of the shower, her pager sounded. She sighed deeply as she called in to answer the page. Calling out to Owen, who was on the floor creating a Lego hospital, Amelia walked toward the father and son. With disappointment, she explained, "Hey, Handsome, the hospital needs me for an AVM. Can you take Ry and Liv shopping for me? I'll owe you forever."

"What do you think, Lucas? Should I help Mommy out?" Owen questioned.

Lucas nodded, "Helping is a good idea, Daddy. Helping is nice." His parents exchanged grins.

Standing up, Owen approached Amelia and kissed her goodbye. "I'm sorry you've been called in," he sympathized. "Go save a life, Super Mia," he winked.

An hour later, after convincing Ryder and Livie that the littles had to come along, Owen reluctantly loaded everyone up for the drive to the mall. He was not thrilled about their destination or upcoming adventure, but he was happy to spend time with the kids. As they approached the mall, Olivia and Ryder both advised where Owen should park. Of course, they had different opinions. Compromising, Owen explained he'd park near the middle of the mall so no store would be too far away.

As Owen unloaded the littles, each one was assigned to someone older. Without deep consideration, Anna and Ryder were paired together. Olivia and Ria were thrilled to be buddies, and Lucas proudly grasped Owen's hand and repeatedly declared that he now was a hand holding expert.

Horrified at walking through the mall with his embarrassing family, Ryder brainstormed how to escape. Guessing Owen would have no idea about Amelia's expectations in a mall, Ryder explained, "Mom usually lets me wander around and then check with her when I've picked stuff out."

"Really?" Owen inquired, not sure if he was being snowed. "I'd feel more comfortable if we did that store by store, Ry. Let's go in here and then you can wander. You have your phone, right?"

"Yep. I'll get to be alone and without a buddy, right?" he confirmed as the word 'buddy' dripped with contempt. Owen simply nodded as he held out his hand for Anna to grasp.

Olivia smirked as she gazed up at him dreamily, "We get you all to ourselves, Daddy!"

"I get you guys all to myself," Owen smiled as he twisted the phrase around. "That means everyone really, really needs to stay together, kiddos." All four kids nodded or agreed.

Olivia, keeping hold of Ria's hand, rushed forward to the pre-teen section. She made sure Owen was nearby and in sight as she proceeded. "Is this too far, Daddy?" she wondered.

"You're good, Livs. Thanks for checking," Owen confirmed. "Let's try to stay close enough to see and hear each other."

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Olivia began when she spotted a pink faux fur vest. "Oh my favoritist daddy in the whole entire world and universe. I _need_ this."

Huffing with fatherly disbelief, "You _need_ it, hmm?" He grabbed the item and examined it and tried out the zipper.

"It's the most gorgeous thing in the whole store, Daddy," Olivia attempted to convince.

"What did Mom say you needed to buy today? Do you need a coat?" Owen shrugged.

"Daddy," Olivia responded with a hand pat on his hand, "This is a vest not a coat. You wear it all day not just outside."

"Mmm Hmm," Owen mumbled as he sent a text to Amelia that read, _What's Liv need? Everything? Just some things? How much?_

Meanwhile, in the OR, Amelia requested that one of the staff members read the text aloud. Wearing magnifying glasses, she laughed as she carefully examined the tiny blood vessels in her patient's brain. For a moment, she stood up and held her head away from the surgical field. "Could you please text back, _Needs skirts and pants more than shirts, a new winter coat and a couple cute accessories. She has great taste, follow her lead._

Receiving Amelia's response, Owen still had no idea about the faux fur vest. "Put it on, Liv, and we'll send Mommy a picture," Owen instructed. He warned the littles, "The rest of you stay _right here._ " After snapping the shot, in which Olivia offered a modeling pose, Owen sent a new text that read, _This?_ He had no solid reason why he was reluctant to decide on his own.

The nurse chuckled when the text came through. "What now?" Amelia asked without much emotion yet obviously beginning to be mildly frustrated.

"Pink faux fur vest. He's looking for your consent, I think," the nurse reported. "He sent a picture."

Without looking up or pausing, Amelia questioned the nurse, "What do you think? Would you buy it for your kid?"

"It's adorable. Definitely an extra and not a necessity," the nurse described.

Shaking her head as she tied off a tiny suture, Amelia requested, "Can you please respond something along the line of it being fine as long as she buys what she really needs and doesn't choose any additional extras?" Leaning closer to the patient to analyze her next move, Amelia added, "And in some wifely way, remind him that I'm performing brain surgery and am not available for fashion advice."

The nurse, attempting to type gentle and Amelia-sounding words, typed, _Sure but no more extras. Really needs what I typed before. I'm in surgery – difficult to provide ongoing input._

Owen rolled his eyes as he read the response, then he explained to Olivia, "Here's the deal: you can get one special thing today. If you choose this, that's fine, but then no more clothes unless they are pants, skirts or a winter coat."

Bouncing over to Owen, Olivia hugged him tightly, "Oh, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. You are the bestest. I love, love, love, love you. Thank you, Daddy."

He offered a grin and suggested, "Let's look at pants and skirts."

"I've been thinking. I'm not going to wear pants this season. Just leggings and skirts," Olivia shared in a matter-of-fact tone as she sashayed toward other racks.

"Are leggings an extra?" Owen wondered aloud.

"No, silly," Ria assisted, "Leggings go with skirts, Daddy. Especially in cold weather." Owen nodded and caught Lucas' eyes. The two shrugged as Owen winked at his son.

"This skirt," Olivia declared with certainty, "would be perrrrrrrfect with the new vest." She held up a brown corduroy skirt.

"Ok," Owen agreed, "Just grab it in your size instead of that little one and you can try it on."

"Daddy, this _is_ my size," Olivia explained.

"There's not enough skirt there for it to be your size, Olivia," Owen stated clearly.

Olivia exhaled and suggested, "How about if I try it on and then we see?"

"I guess," Owen acquiesced.

This process continued over and over as lengths of skirts received constant commentary and as Owen ensured that the few shirts they considered fell no higher than Olivia's hip bones.

"Daddy…" Olivia sighed at one point, "Look… this is how they make clothes for girls now. It's not like when you grew up in the 50s when skirts had dogs on them and almost went to girls' feet."

"You need to work with her, Daddy," Anna agreed by nodding.

"The 1950s?! I wasn't even alive in the 1950s," Owen clarified with wounded shock.

Convinced he was pretending to act stunned, all four kids laughed heartily. "You are super funny for someone so old, Daddy," Ria giggled.

"How about if we look at pants. Maybe there will be something there that we can agree upon," Owen urged.

Olivia immediately spotted a pair of faded and shredded jeans. "These are _the_ best. I could wear these."

Scoffing, Owen rolled his eyes and declared gently, "I'm not buying something that's already ruined, Olivia."

"These aren't ruined, Daddy. They're pusposed to be this way," she shared with desperation. "Please… please? Mommy would let me get them. Honest."

"I'm not buying ripped up clothes," Owen re-declared as he shook his head. "Besides," he added as he grabbed the tag and gasped, "they cost $75."

Ria, leaning over to Anna, suggested, "Let's never let Daddy take us shopping, Anna."

"I know," Anna whispered back as she folded her arms. "Poor Livie."

"Daddy…. I'm borrrrrrred," Lucas whined.

"I know, Buddy, I know," Owen comforted. "Not too much longer, I promise."

"We're not almost done," Olivia shared with shock. "I only have two skirts, three pairs of leggings, and one vest picked out."

"Olivia, this isn't fun for the littles, Honey," Owen responded. "We can't stay much longer. Maybe you can come back later with Mommy."

Olivia offered her largest puppy dog eyes and adorable tilted head. "Daddy," she pointed out softly, "By this time with Mommy, we'd already have everything picked out."

"Why is it taking us so long then? Let's get moving," Owen encouraged.

"We're not moving because you have too many opinions," Olivia sighed. "Every single thing… you think about it and grumble and groan and look angry when you see the price. Every piece. Mama looks at those and shrugs her shoulders and keeps a total in her head. And she likes every single thing in the store every time."

"Maybe I need to have a talk with Mommy," Owen considered.

"I think, Daddy, that Mommy needs to have a talk with you," Anna stated with concern and her sisters nodded in agreement.


	26. Chapter 26 - The Things We Do For Love

**Chapter 26**

 **A Pivotal Year – The Things We Do For Love**

 **Nolan almost 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Saturday, December 18**

"How about if I run these bags out to your car, Blondie?" Nolan offered as Lissa scanned the sale rack.

Lissa glanced over with a gentle smile, "You really are a sweetheart."

"I'll text you on my way back and see where you are," Nolan grinned as he wrapped an arm around Lissa and kissed her.

After stopping at the jewelry counter and pondering some options for Lissa, Nolan failed to see anything that caught his eye. Having been inside quite a while, Nolan decided to walk to the car by going out the nearest door and then along the sidewalk past Macy's. The distance might have been longer, but the route would be faster. Taking a break from the pre-Christmas crowds would be a relief. Once he was outside, he turned to his right.

About halfway to the car, Nolan spotted a group of guys from St. Frances hanging out around a cargo entrance. They were standing along his way, so he kept to his route and figured he'd stop and chat for a few minutes when he reached them. The guys weren't necessarily his close friends, but everyone knew everyone else at St. Frances. Saying hello and chatting was basically expected among the prep school crowd.

"Isn't that your brother, Ryder?" one of the guys inquired as he attempted to hold in his breath.

Sputtering, then laughing, Ryder nodded and confirmed, "Yep. Yep, it is. It's brilliant boy and he's in our midst."

"Like you're in remedial classes or something, smart ass," one of the other guys pointed out as he took a drag of the joint being passed around. "What math class are you in this year? Three or four grade levels above your age, right?"

Nolan smelled and recognized the scent of pot as he approached. He decided that his greeting would be brief; he had no interest in joining their activities. "Mason," Nolan smiled professionally as he reached out his hand formally, "good to see you."

"Hey, Nole," Mason responded as he handed the joint around the circle. As Nolan scanned the rest of the group, he attempted to not react when he saw Ryder.

Just then, Ryder's phone buzzed. He grabbed it out of his pocket, read a text and groaned, "Oh crap. Hey, Nole, can I catch a ride home with you and Liss? It's Dad," Ryder explained as he held up the phone, "he wants to head home." Chuckling, Ryder concluded, "I'm not so sure right now is the best time to hang out with Dr. Owen Hunt." The other guys joined in the laughter.

Nolan, who wanted to throttle his brother for hanging around this group, responded with a shrug, "I guess. I'm not sure it'll be anytime soon. It's up to Lissa when we leave."

"You're so whipped," Ryder uttered as he kept the smoke in his lungs as long as possible.

With a flat stare, Nolan regarded his brother and questioned, "Did you want a ride or not?"

"Yeah," Ryder laughed. "Can you let Dad know? He'll believe it coming from you."

"Uh…sure," Nolan agreed as he pulled his phone from his pocket and typed, _Just ran into Ry. Offered to take him home later. Ok w you?_

Owen responded almost immediately, _Sounds great. Can you keep Liv too? She doesn't want to leave and littles do._

 _I guess,_ Nolan responded. _Should I meet you somewhere? Or you could catch Liss at Kohls._

 _We're right by Kohls. I'll text her. See you at home later,_ Owen concluded.

"I need to throw these in Lissa's car. Want to go over there with me or find me later?" the eldest asked his brother. Ryder shared his goodbyes with the group and chose to join Nolan.

Once they were out of earshot, Nolan's true mood was unveiled, "What the f#$% are you doing, you dumbass? Those guys are not the people you should hang around, Ryder. You know that."

Higher than a kite, Ryder smirked at his brother and burst out laughing, "Dude, you sound like a cussing version of Dad. Lay off."

Quickening his pace, Nolan stared straight ahead as he replied, "Ryder… you piss me off."

"Whatever," Ryder shrugged.

Meanwhile, Owen connected with Lissa and handed off Olivia. Reaching into his wallet, he pulled out two $100 bills and explained, "Here… in case you find any pants, long skirts, or a winter coat for her."

Lissa grasped the bills and began to put them in her purse as she glanced at Olivia and attempted to clarify, " _Long_ skirts?"

Rolling her eyes, Olivia shook her head but said nothing. Owen, filling in the gaps, declared, "At least an inch _or more_ below where your uniform hits. General rule of thumb, ok?"

"Sure," Lissa smirked, attempting not to laugh in Owen's face. Owen leaned in and hugged the girls before heading out to the parking lot with the littles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

As Nolan loaded the bags into the trunk, Ryder held his hand out for the keys and flopped into the passenger seat. He leaned the seat as far back as possible, put his hands behind his neck, and closed his eyes, "How about if I just hang here 'til you're done?"

"How about not?" Nolan flatly retorted.

"F #$... ok," Ryder grumbled. "Want me to hold your hand, too, Big Brother?"

Nolan quipped, "Not yet." He reached into his pocket when his phone vibrated. Lissa had texted, _Mind if I take Livs to a store or two? Want to join us or meet us in a bit?_

 _I've got Ry here. We'll grab a soda or something,_ Nolan sent back.

After walking to the Food Court without conversation, Nolan bought sodas and the brothers sat down at a table by an indoor water feature.

"It's so cool, isn't it?" Ryder commented as he became mesmerized by the water.

Nolan raised his shoulders and eyebrows, responding, "I guess."

"Are you pissed at me or something?" Ryder asked with authentic confusion.

"Yes, Ryder, I am," Nolan grumbled.

"Why?" Ryder questioned as he leaned on his forearms.

"Because you're smoking pot. That's one of the stupidest choices you've ever made. But I'm not going to talk about it while you're high. It's not worth my breath," Nolan detailed.

"Wow… talk about someone who needs a hit," Ryder scoffed.

Nolan bore his eyes into his brother's and firmly offered, "I suggest you shut the hell up." He turned to watch the flowing water, hoping he'd be able to sort out his next steps. While he felt protective toward Ryder and Livie and responsible for them in some ways, Nolan also knew he wasn't their father. He couldn't decide if he was going to tell Owen. Even telling Lissa would make the situation more complicated.

For his part, Ryder slouched in his seat and concentrated on the water while the two sat silently.

After an hour, Lissa and Livie bounced up to the table. Seeing them approach, Nolan stood and smiled as he hugged his little sister and then pulled Lissa to his side. "You two look like you've been having fun," he observed.

"We did!" Olivia exclaimed with joy, "Daddy gave Lissa money for my clothes. We found a skirt, a pair of jeans, and a new coat." Twirling back and forth, Olivia modeled her new coat.

Looking down at Lissa, Nolan smiled and responded to Olivia, "Lissa has great taste. You were in good hands, Red."

Leaning around Nolan, Lissa greeted, "Hey, Ryder. What's up?"

"Nothing," Ryder mumbled without turning to look at Lissa.

Squeezing Lissa with his arm, Nolan suggested, "Let's head home, huh?" As the four headed to the parking lot, Nolan kept his arm around Lissa and walked with her at his side. He was quiet and obviously preoccupied. Lissa sensed that pushing wouldn't help at all.

Ryder and Olivia followed behind Nolan and Lissa. As Olivia nearly skipped along, she questioned with sweet curiosity, "Are you and Nolan made at each other?"

"No," Ryder growled, "and mind your own business."

"Why are you so mean all the time now? You didn't used to be so mean," Olivia observed.

Ryder hardened his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes. "Why are you such a busy body?"

With a giggle, Olivia admitted, "I've always been a busy body. I like knowing what's going on with everyone."

The four approached the car and loaded up. After a quiet ride home, Nolan parked in the driveway and requested, "Hey, Liss, can you give Ryder and me a minute? I'll be right in."

"Sure," she smiled. "C'mon, Olivia, let's go show off your new clothes." Olivia popped out of the car and ran toward the door with bags in her hands. Lissa strolled closely behind.

"What?" Ryder snarled from the back seat.

After letting silence linger, Nolan disclosed, "I don't know what to do, Ryder. I can't sit by and ignore what I saw, but I also want to have your back. Pretty hard to do both."

As Ryder twisted his lips toward his cheek, he mumbled, "Mmm hmm."

"Hey guys," Owen greeted happily as he let himself inside through the passenger door. "Olivia mentioned there's some tension between you two. Is everything ok?"

"Excuse me," Nolan said as he stepped out of the car and walked toward the front door.

Fairly sure he smelled pot, Owen sighed and commented, "That was weird. What's going on, Ryder?"

"He can never decide if he's supposed to me my dad or my brother. He's pissed at me," Ryder offered.

"Why?" Owen inquired with interest.

Ryder shrugged as he looked down at his hands. "I'd like to go for a walk," Ryder stated quietly.

"Are you asking permission or announcing your next action?" Owen questioned in a befuddled tone without a hint of interrogation.

"Either, I guess. I dunno," Ryder responded indecisively.

Owen studied Ryder before informing him, "I'm going inside. Do what you need to do, Ry… And if you need to talk later, I'll be here." After Owen walked into the house, Ryder stepped out of the car and headed to the treehouse. He whistled for the dogs, and they ran to him exuberantly.

Nolan, having excused himself from everyone, was on his bed with the Nerf ball, throwing it to the ceiling and catching it repeatedly.

"Can I come in?" Owen asked as he knocked softly. After Nolan agreed, Owen stepped in and closed the door behind him. He sat down at the foot of Nolan's bed and watched the Nerf ball as it was cast up and then fell down. As Nolan continued to toss it into the air, he eventually glanced at Owen with anticipation.

"What's on your mind?" Owen questioned.

"Not now, Dad. Respectfully, not now," Nolan declared.

With a sigh, Owen added, "I'm not trying to push… how can I be here for you right now, Nolan?"

"Give me some space. I promise you we'll talk. Just not now," Nolan assured him.

Nodding, Owen muttered, "That's fair." He stood up to leave the room, then turned back briefly to share with a chuckle, "Lissa saved me today. She managed to find clothes both Olivia and I could accept. I love that girl."

Smiling, Nolan quietly voiced, "Me too."


	27. Chapter 27 Where's Mama?

**Chapter 27**

 **A Pivotal Year – Where's Mama When You Need Her?**

 **Nolan almost 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Saturday, December 18**

Later, after chatting with Ryder in the car and then stepping out of Nolan's room without any answers, Owen leaned against the hallway wall and took in a deep breath. Amelia had been at the hospital far longer than he anticipated when she left. Even if she'd had to address the AVM then and there, the procedure should have been over hours ago. Everything – Mia's absence, Ryder, the day – felt off.

Olivia came bounding up the stairs and ran to Owen. "Since you're done talking to the Big Meanie Head and to Nolan, can I do a fashion show for you? You have to see my new clothes, Daddy. I want to go shopping with Lissa every single time I shop the rest of my life," Olivia declared with glee.

In the midst of the stress of the day, Olivia's radiant spirit brought Owen back to the present moment. "Absolutely," Owen smiled. "Where's the show?"

"Let's see…" Olivia pondered as she imagined the grand event. "What we could do," she suggested with excitement, "is put on a huge show with lots of models and music." Lowering her voice and sounding blasé, she concluded, "Or I could just put on a couple outfits and show them to you quick." Her preference was obvious.

Not having anything planned for the afternoon, Owen grinned and chose the first option. Olivia kicked into high gear and began organizing the littles. Requesting that Lissa coordinate the clothing changes, Olivia entrusted her to serve as the Chief Assistant.

"Now, Daddy, which stage are we using? Your bedroom or the living room?" Olivia inquired.

Chuckling, Owen chose the living room. Proceeding with a floor plan, Olivia set down a piece of paper and a pen. She drew out how the furniture needed to be arranged and asked him to be in charge of making it happen.

After receiving his instructions, Owen knocked on Nolan's door. Nolan invited him in, and Owen peeked inside. "It appears that I've agreed to re-arranging the living room for Olivia's fashion extravaganza. Care to come help me move some furniture?" Owen asked pleadingly.

Once he caught the Nerf ball, Nolan sat up and agreed with a smile, "Let's go."

Owen attempted to make sense of Olivia's map, but couldn't do so. "Can you read this?" Owen inquired as he handed the sketch to Nolan. The father and son leaned over the diagram and attempted to analyze it.

"The problem is…" Nolan pondered aloud, "if we move the main couch there, then wouldn't it be in the kitchen?"

"Yeah, I dunno," Owen shook his head as he ran his hand through his hair. "And I think this chair is… is that the hallway or the stairs?"

Lissa breezed down and giggled, "Has Miss Olivia put you two to work also?"

"We're trying to figure out her diagram. She wants the room rearranged," Nolan shared absent-mindedly without raising his focus from the paper.

Leaning in, Lissa studied the drawing as she sipped some water. "Oh!" she celebrated after a minute or so. "Here's the problem: the windows are to the right of the front door on this map instead of across the room. Good luck moving the walls."

Nolan chuckled in embarrassment, "I feel stupid."

"Me too," Owen smiled. Focused on the map, Owen pointed out casually, "Oh, hey, Lissa. You have mail from school."

"Thanks," Lissa smirked as she grabbed the envelope that would determine her plans for the upcoming year. After much discussion, Miss Tonnington had decided to allow Lissa to complete her last few credits by independent study as long as Lissa received Bs or better in all her fall classes. In order to graduate with her class, Lissa would need to complete an English class and a math class. Her other requirements had been completed over the past three terms.

"Now what?" Owen mumbled as he and Nolan continued to stare at the map.

"Oh wow! I can't believe it!" Lissa called out.

Nolan moved his hand up until it landed on Lissa's shoulder. Still mentally focused on the living room layout, he questioned, "What, Shorty?"

"Look! Look!" Lissa giggled with glee as she waved the paper in front of Nolan's face. "Dads, you too, look!"

Glancing quickly at the paper, Owen offered Lissa an unengaged, "Uh huh. Good news."

"Seriously, you two? A poorly drawn map is worth more focus than this _giant_ news?!" Lissa pressed with a mixture of shock and happiness. "Nolan…" she began, waiting for Nolan to make eye contact. "Nolan…" she emphasized more clearly.

Blinking repeatedly to re-focus his eyes, Nolan stood up straight and grinned as he responded, "Shorty, I'm sorry. I can't do two things at once here. Can we catch up on the letter a little later?"

Exhaling audibly, Lissa chose to honor Nolan's request. She knew that if she pushed, he wouldn't be upset once he saw the news. Nonetheless, their celebration could wait until after the fashion show. Without notice, Lissa returned to the second level. She set the letter on Nolan's desk and then sought out the kids.

A few minutes later, after Lissa had encouraged her to check in with Owen and Nolan, Olivia descended the stairs. She sighed dramatically, "Lissa said I need to come explain the layout."

"Honey," Owen grinned, "the windows aren't across from the front door on the map."

"Oh, Daddy. They are too! See that little line there?" Olivia pointed out. "That's the wall next to the door. Just use your imagination and stretch it out and then the whole thing makes sense."

"Do you want the couch facing the door then?" Nolan questioned while trying to translate the trapezium shaped room on the map into the square shaped room in his midst.

"No!" Olivia rolled her eyes. "See, right here," she pointed out as she tapped the picture with her finger. "The couch faces the windows, silly. Otherwise the models would squint when they're walking around."

"But then the audience will be squinting the whole time," Owen pointed out.

With a deep breath, Olivia pursed her lips before wondering aloud, "Daddy, are we done here? I have a fashion show to organize."

"Of course," Owen grinned. "We'll do our best, Olivia."

Soon, feather boas pervaded the area. Lucas announced each model and her outfit using whatever words they loudly whispered to him before appearing from around the corner. The twins twirled around, danced, and stopped to pose. Each creative, multi-colored outfit was thoroughly modeled. For the finale, Olivia displayed her new clothes while Nolan and Owen applauded. Internally, Owen could hear Amelia's voice pointing out the objectification and sexism of the activity. On the surface, however, everyone seemed to be having a wonderful time.

By the end of the fashion show, the younger models seemed tired and crabby once they'd changed into regular clothes. Assuming the bickering was a result of hunger, Owen began preparing a quick mac and cheese, kid-friendly meal. With her arms full, Lissa carried the clothes back to the bedroom closets. Olivia and Nolan cleaned up the stage and clothes while Anna argued and continually pulled Lucas' curls for no reason. In an attempt to retaliate, Lucas launched his foot forward to kick Anna. Instead, as she quickly ducked out of the way, Lucas' foot met with Ria's knee. While the kick likely hurt, Ria's reaction was over the top.

Taking in an enormous breath, Owen calmly knelt down and scooped Ria into his arms. She immediately buried her head into his chest as she cried. When Owen asked about what had led up to the injury, Lucas and Anna began describing what happened. Each one tried to be louder and more insistent than the other.

"Stop… stop… enough!" Owen declared with increasing volume and intensity. Ria pulled her head back and looked at Owen with a touch of fear. Three sets of enlarged Shepherd-Hunt eyes took in the sight of Daddy losing his temper. Then Ria re-buried her head in Owen's shoulder as a more intense sob commenced.

"Listen," Owen spoke firmly, "we are all going to sit at the table and eat an early dinner. There will be no fighting or arguing, understood?" All three nodded their heads. "Lucas, sit in Lissa's spot," Owen instructed as he separated the kids from one another. "Ria, sit in Olivia's spot. Anna, sit by me, right here."

Nolan and Olivia came over from the living room after noticing the tension. "What's up, Dad?" Nolan inquired.

"Why do I have to sit by a growned up?" Anna whined.

"Sit," Owen insisted without explanation. "As soon as we're finished eating, you're going upstairs and heading right to bed."

"We're not babies!" Anna protested. "We don't go to bed early."

"I don't want to go to sleep," Ria moaned as she melted into a pool of tears.

"Me either," Lucas complained. "I'm a big kid now."

Owen stared down his kids seriously and slowly asked, "Are you arguing with me?" He held his gaze upon each one of the littles to emphasize his authority. None of them dared be the first one to speak.

"How can we help, Dad?" Nolan interrupted.

Sitting back in his chair, Owen grimaced. Running both hands through his hair, he blew out a breath and suggested, "Grab some pears and dish them out, please." Nolan opened a can of pears and drained it, then handed the bowls to Olivia. She served them and sat at Owen's side gazing up at him with a smile.

After a pregnant pause, Owen stood and picked Ria up, saying, "Let's take one more look at that knee, Ree." He turned to Lucas and Anna and motioned his head toward the stairs, "As soon as you two are done, c'mon upstairs."

"I'll keep an eye on them," Nolan grinned as he and Owen caught eyes. Nolan walked to the table and sat down, "Wow…what did you two do?"

"Nothing," Lucas pouted. "He's just mean."

"Nuh uh, Luke. He's mad because you hurt my sister," Anna argued.

"You pulled my hair," Lucas retorted. "And my curls are sacred."

"Sacred?" Nolan sputtered.

"That's what Mama says. She says they're my sacred weapon," Luke emphasized. "Besides, Annabelle, if Mama was here, you'd be in big trouble." To himself, Nolan whispered, _Sacred? Sacred weapon? Or secret weapon?_

"That's cause Mommy likes you better than me," Anna snarled.

"Mama loves us all the same," Olivia insisted as she joined the conversation.

"Anna! Lucas! C'mon up," Owen called down. "Go potty, then go lie down," he instructed. Anna dramatically and loudly stomped up each stair, huffing and grumbling all the way to her room.

Lucas pointed out, "Daddy, she didn't go potty first like you said."

"Do what you are supposed to do, Luke. I'll handle Anna," Owen sighed. He turned to the Master Bedroom and sat Ria on the bathroom counter. She continued to snivel as her bottom lip trembled. "Does it still hurt, honey?" Owen asked gently.

"A little," she whimpered.

He leaned down to take a closer look, bent her leg without a problem, and stood back up to share, "You'll probably have a bruise. If you put some ice on it, that'll help. You want to rest in Daddy's bed while I run to the freezer?" Nodding her head, Ria held out her arms and clasped them around Owen's neck. After carrying her to the bed and snuggling her under the blankets, he kissed her forehead and whispered, "I'll be right back, Ria."

Before heading downstairs, Owen carefully peeked in on Anna. She was already fast asleep on her bed with her mouth wide open and her little hand holding tightly to her Anna Banana doll. In the next room, Lucas was curled up in the fetal position, clinging to Puppy Blanky and sucking his thumb. His round blue eyes glimpsed over and spotted Owen at the door. Slowly closing, the heavy eyelids surrendered. Owen stepped in and slipped off Luke's shoes. Then he kissed his son as he tucked him in.

Digging through the freezer, Owen found and brought out a bag of peas. With deep confusion, Olivia questioned, "What's with the peas?"

With a slight chuckle, Owen held the bag up higher and explained, "Oh… long story. Ria was kicked in some crossfire. Frozen peas are more flexible than ice."

Ria was nearly asleep when Owen arrived with the peas and a towel. He propped Ria's leg up on a pillow, placed the towel on top of her tiny knee, and set the peas down. "You get some rest now, ok? I'll come back and take the ice off in a little bit," he whispered as he brushed Ria's hair away from her face and kissed her cheek. "I love you, Ree Ree."

"I love you too, Daddy," she mumbled as she rubbed her eyes and yawned.

After tending to Ria's knee, Owen fell on to the sofa with a beer and soaked in a blissful break. Nolan and Olivia were throwing together something to eat.

"Are you eating with us, Dad?" Nolan inquired.

"I'll wait for Mia. Thanks, Nole," Owen mumbled without turning his head. "Somebody should go find Ry. He went for a walk when the four of you returned from the mall."

Shrugging, Nolan reached for his phone and sent a text that read, _Where are you?_

 _At the treehouse,_ Ryder responded promptly. _Leave me alone._

Nolan rolled his eyes before stopping to figure out Lissa's whereabouts. He called out, "Liss?"

From her room, she responded, "Yeah?"

"Dinner," Nolan informed her. Lissa came bouncing down the stairs after retrieving the letter from Nolan's desk.

While Nolan, Lissa and Olivia ate, Owen finished his beer and headed to the garage to grab another. As soon as Owen was out of range, Lissa leaned toward Nolan and requested with a flirty grin, "Can you read this now?"

"Oh," Nolan promptly recalled. "Sure." He scanned the letter quickly and hollered, "Yes!" As he gazed into Lissa's eyes, he assured her, "See? It's all coming together. It's all going to work out."

Considering the conversation that they'd have to hold with Amelia and Owen, Lissa smiled tentatively and nuanced Nolan's conclusion, "Well, we're one step closer anyway."

Nolan smiled and leaned over to kiss Lissa repeatedly. Much to Olivia's dismay, Nolan and Lissa whispered words only the other could hear. They smiled, cooed, and giggled in between their words.

Piping up, Olivia cleared her throat and asked, "What's up?"

Simultaneously, Nolan and Lissa responded, "Nothing."

Meanwhile, talking to himself and mumbling about the exhaustion of parenthood, Owen rummaged through the fridge. The garage door opened and Amelia drove inside. Walking toward the house, she headed directly to Owen.

"Hey," she uttered softly and weakly as she put her hand on his shoulder.

Owen turned around and popped his head around the freezer door, "You ok?"

About to cry, Amelia shook her head. With a newly discovered beer in hand, Owen closed the fridge and gazed at Amelia with deep compassion. He wrapped his free arm around her and inquired, "What's going on, Mia?" His scruffy cheek rubbed up against her hair as he closed his eyes in an extended blink. Slowly rocking back and forth from one foot to the other, Owen rubbed Amelia's back as he held her.

"That AVM?" Amelia began to explain. "The one the hospital called me about earlier?"

"Yeah?" Owen responded slowly, having a hunch what words were about to follow.

Blankly, Amelia relived each step of the process, "Young mom, 35, two little kids, great husband. Came to the ER complaining about a pounding, intense headache. The residents followed all the protocols, did a solid job with her. She didn't even know she had an AVM. The CT showed that it was bleeding. We prepped her for a cerebral angiogram and the catheter was proceeding up the artery without a problem…" She stopped speaking and her voice trailed off.

"That all sounds textbook," Owen reflected.

Amelia's eyes moved up to connect with Owen's and she continued, "Exactly. It was textbook. I thought I'd be in and out in no time. All I was thinking about what getting to the mall to relieve you… then she stroked out. No warning, no indicators. Even under anesthetic, I noted drooping on her left side. We tried to open her up and stop the bleeding. It just poured. There was no chance."

"Oh, Mia…" he comforted.

"All I could think about what meeting you at the mall and this patient's kids… they'd never meet their mom at the mall or after school or at the park again. All because I didn't go in aggressive enough in the beginning," Amelia shared with remorse.

"You don't know that, Mia," Owen declared. "She may have stroked out before you'd even reached the AVM. The process was followed step-by-step. You performed the procedure as you were trained to do. This isn't your fault."

"I know…" she reflected, "but her life was in my hands and now two little girls no longer have a Mommy."

No words would provide the assurance or comfort most needed in the moment. Instead, Owen wrapped both arms around Amelia and held her as she cried. In his mind, he knew an autopsy would be performed. Unseen and unknowable complications caused the death, not Amelia or any sort of incompetence. _Patients die,_ he thought to himself, knowing that saying those words aloud would not provide relief. _Sometimes we don't know why. It happens._

Sniffling, Amelia questioned, "How was your day? I'm sorry… I didn't even ask."

"Great," Owen smirked as he lied. "Smooth as silk." He pulled her tightly toward him and kissed the top of her head as he led her into the house. "We missed you, Mia. I'm glad you're home."


	28. Chapter 28 - Breakfast for Brothers

**Chapter 28**

 **A Pivotal Year – Breakfast for Brothers**

 **Nolan almost 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Sunday, December 19**

Even though it was Sunday morning, Nolan and Ryder were up at 7:30am and headed out the door. The previous night, the brothers had arranged to go out to breakfast together before heading to a nearby soccer arena. Chris' Dad, who managed the arena, had invited a bunch of kids to take to the indoor field and blow off a little energy.

Without parental oversight guiding their decisions, the brothers relished the freedom of choosing the restaurant and ordering and savoring carb-heavy French Toast, hash browns with ketchup, sausage links _and_ bacon, multiple glasses of soda, and a little side dish of fruit.

As they noshed, the brothers talked and laughed.

"What did Dad say about your hair when he saw you?" Ryder inquired.

"I was surprised," Nolan responded as he stuffed his mouth with a huge bite of food. Still chewing, he continued as he imitated his parent's voices, "he chuckled and made some Dad comment like 'looking a little long' or 'time for a hair cut.' Then Mom couldn't resist messing it all up and trying to be funny… 'competing with your sisters?'"

"Don't cut it while you're home. That'd be so awesome to watch them try not to boss you around while they're freaking out inside," Ry laughed.

Nolan chuckled, "That'd be good. I'm sure Dad will pull me aside at some point and give me the whole 'you set the example' speech, pat me on the shoulder and try to guilt me with 'I know you'll do the right thing, Nolan.'"

"You sound just like him!" Ryder cackled. Imitating Owen, Ryder joined in, "'Son…let's think about this long hair business… you're a Hunt.' Then he'd insert a warning smirk and add, 'Time to look like one.'"

Chortling, Nolan commended Ryder, "I think you have the Dad voice down more than I do. Have you mastered his signature yet?"

"F #$ no. It's impossible," Ryder lamented. "Have you?"

"Nah, but I turned in a few excuses at St. Frances with really crappy forgeries of Mom's," Nolan admitted.

"Two frickin' doctors with doctor signatures. Not fair," Ryder stated as he chewed.

Nolan shifted the topic and inquired, "Got a girlfriend?"

"Yeah, kinda," Ryder shrugged. "I'm not really into the whole one-girlfriend-at-a-time thing or the one-girlfriend-for-my-entire-flippin-life thing like you are."

"Yeah?" Nolan sought to confirm. He wondered if Ryder was feeding him nonsense or was serious.

"It's fun to watch them vie for me," Ryder snickered.

"You're an ass, dude. That's horrible," Nolan responded as he shook his head.

"You've missed out, man. By not having a girlfriend, I get to flirt freely, no girl tells me what to do or tries to boss me around, and I have my choice of dates. It pretty much rocks," Ryder declared proudly.

Nolan sat back with his familiar Nolan closed-mouth, warm smirk on his face as he looked at his little brother. "Someday, you're gonna end up with an STD," he teased.

"I use condoms," Ryder huffed. "I'm not stupid."

Catching the present tense of 'use,' Nolan leaned forward and whispered, "No f #$ing way…you've had sex?!"

"No, not full on sex, but other stuff, yeah," Ryder explained cryptically.

"I don't even want to know. Freaks me out to think you're doing anything," Nolan grimaced.

"Get over it," Ryder rolled his eyes. "When are you and Lissa finally going to do the nasty? Just boink her already. Besides, you know the lust and thrust is calling her name…she wants it. She wants your bone, man."

Gently lowering his eyebrows and slightly turning his chin, Nolan's more reserved ways caused him to ponder a response to Ryder's off-color comments. "Have you been composing that sentence for weeks? Nice euphemisms, little brother."

"Answer me, pussy," Ryder challenged.

"I so wish Mom and Dad were here listening to you," Nolan grinned as he shook his head.

"Still no true answer…" Ryder mused as he folded his arms and gazed toward the ceiling.

After letting out a large sigh, Nolan responded, "We'll go there when the time is right."

"Lame," Ryder delivered in a monotone voice.

"She's not ready. I'm not gonna push her," Nolan shrugged. "I've almost lost her more than once by pressuring her."

"Dude, it's gonna fall off if you don't use it," Ryder kidded.

Imitating Owen again, Nolan changed the topic and commanded, "Drink the rest of that Coke. I didn't buy it so it could sit on the table and go to waste."

"Hilarious," Ryder grumbled as he sipped the soda. "You are absolutely hilarious, Nolan."

Leaning toward his brother and lowering his voice, Nolan quietly inquired, "Ry… how long have you been smoking?"

"Pot?" Ryder sought to clarify.

"Do you smoke anything else?" Nolan wondered aloud.

"Sometimes a cigarette. Not very often," Ryder explained.

"How long have you been getting high?" Nolan asked.

Breathing out slowly, Ryder looked to the ceiling as if he was calculating the months, "Probably three or four months. Not long after school started."

"Why?" Nolan pushed with a concerned expression.

Ryder looked Nolan directly in the eye, "Why did I start? I was curious. Have you ever done it?"

"Once," Nolan admitted without detail.

"Once? You didn't love the release? How relaxing it is?" Ryder inquired. "We live in a freakin' three ring circus full of noise and activity and people flippin' everywhere. Getting stoned… it takes the edge off of all that."

"It's stupid," Nolan stated plainly. "In addition to killing your brain cells and making you more stupid than you already are, it's not going to help you get into flight school."

"Whatever," Ryder attempted to blow off Nolan's wisdom. "That's a long way off. It just takes the edge off, Nolan. It's really no big deal."

"Until you get busted," Nolan clarified.

"By you?" Ryder scoffed.

"By me, by Mom or Dad, by Mrs. Tonnington or someone else at the school…or, worst case, by the police," Nolan listed.

"You think too much, Nolan," Ryder insisted as he shoved a huge piece of French Toast in his mouth.

The two brothers were quiet, each thinking about their next words. Ryder hoped to change the focus of the conversation, while Nolan struggled with whether or not to keep emphasizing his concerns.

After a few minutes without conversation, Nolan gulped and reluctantly asked, "What do you know about Mom's past?"

As he chewed, Ryder lowered his brows ever so slightly and mumbled with a mouth full of food, "What do you mean?"

"When Mom was teenager, she went through some pretty nasty crap," Nolan stated, not wanting to tell Amelia's story on her behalf.

"Like what?" Ryder wondered.

"It's her story to tell, not mine," Nolan shrugged. "I'm not trying to mess with you… I wasn't sure if you knew."

"I guess I don't," Ryder responded as he put his hands palms up by his shoulders. "What about Dad… does he have any good secrets worth knowing?"

Laughing, Nolan moved his lips toward his cheek, "Probably more than I know about. He was married before – to some doctor who lives in Europe now, some friend of Auntie Mer's."

"That kinda sounds familiar. We've met her, right?" Ryder tried to recollect.

"Yeah, when Mom was in the hospital with the twins maybe? It was a long time ago. She was kind of edgy and abrupt, but also a total smart ass," Nolan shared his scant memories.

"I wonder if he has other secrets," Ryder imagined.

"I know he had a hard time when he came back from serving as an Army doctor," Nolan disclosed.

"Well, yeah, he was hurt. I remember that. What a freakin' deal… he used a walker and stuff. That sucked," Ryder recalled.

"No, there was a time before that. Before the first wife even. He had PTSD," Nolan described.

"Really? How do you know that?" Ryder inquired.

With an awkward grin, Nolan chuckled and said, "I'm not really sure. I heard about it somewhere along the way, I guess." After pausing, Nolan added, "They've been through a lot, Ry."

"Guess so," Ryder commented without catching the significance of Nolan's words.

"They don't need to deal with a kid who's all strung out. That's all I'm saying," Nolan mumbled as he reviewed the check and pulled out his wallet. He stood up and threw on his coat, adding, "This drug use, Ryder, it doesn't just affect you."

With a sigh, Ryder stood up and followed his brother out the door. Within minutes, they arrived at the stadium and each hung out with their own friends. After a few hours of sweating, swearing, and playing, everyone packed up their gear and wished each other Merry Christmas. The stadium would be open on the 26th and all the guys were looking forward to seeing each other again.

When the brothers breezed through the front door at 12:15, the littles ran to Nolan and begged to be picked up. Lissa smiled widely and longingly at him, but remained on the sofa. "I don't have three hands, littles. You're gonna have to schedule shifts or something," Nolan teased as the kids pulled on his soccer shorts and hands.

"What's a schedule shift?" Lucas questioned.

Nolan picked him up and turned him upside down, holding Lucas by the ankles, "In this case, it means taking turns."

Giggling mightily, Lucas bellowed to Amelia who had been searching the fridge, "Mama! Look. Look. Nolan's got me upside down."

Amelia peered around the refrigerator door and grinned, "He does." The twins continued to pull on Nolan and vie for his attention. "Don't do that with Ria, Nolan. Last thing we need is an ankle injury," Amelia warned as if Nolan hadn't considered his sister's safety and lifelong disability.

Putting Lucas down, Nolan grabbed Ria and threw her over his shoulder. She giggled and playfully screamed. "But you don't have hip problems, do you, Ree Ree?"

"No," she laughed. "What are you gonna do with me?!"

He walked over to the couch and flopped her onto a bunch of cushions, then grabbed Anna and held her above his head before tossing her onto another set of cushions. The kids all begged for another turn, but Amelia spoiled the game, "Nolan, don't throw them around like that in here… the rules haven't changed," Amelia sighed – she was torn between being ticked at Nolan and being thrilled he was home. She continued, "Littles, you need to set the table for lunch. Lucas Owen, as soon as you've put napkins on the table, you need to clean up those Legos."

Nolan walked over to Amelia and grabbed her waist as if he was picking her up next. "Stop! Nolan Hunt! Put me down," she ordered as she laughed. "You're all sweaty and you stink!"

"Throw her on the couch!" the littles chanted. Lucas jumped up and down with glee, Ria clapped, and Anna twirled in circles. They couldn't wait to see Nolan pick up Mama. Ryder leaned against the window next to the front door and observed everything.

Nolan set her down and hugged her, "C'mon, Mom, you weren't really worried, were you?"

Grinning and glancing at him out of the corner of her eyes, Amelia quipped, "Go greet your girlfriend, Romeo. And then, for the sake of public health, go take a shower."

"Hi, Baby," Nolan mumbled in a sultry voice as he approached Lissa from behind, kissed her cheek and then gently turned her head and kissed her on the lips. "You're cute in those, lazy girl," he pointed out as he tugged on her PJ top.

Blinking her eyes repeatedly and attempting to not breathe, Lissa echoed Amelia's suggestion, "I'd invite you to come snuggle, but a shower might be a better idea."

"Oh yeah?" Nolan warned playfully as he leaned toward her.

"Stop! Not even funny, Nolan," Lissa shouted with determination.

He stood up fully, put his hands in front of his shoulders and proclaimed, "I was just kidding."

"Shower!" Amelia and Lissa shouted simultaneously then burst into laughter at their unexpected stereo command. Amelia spotted Ryder and encouraged with a grin, "Probably a good idea for you too, my darling boy."

Ryder nodded and turned toward the stairs. As they headed upstairs, Amelia called to her eldest sons, "Have you two eaten lunch?"

"No," both responded. Ryder added, "And I'm starving."

"I'll leave some of this out for you then," Amelia hollered before walking over to a chair in the corner and curled up in it with a magazine.

The littles watched a movie in the playroom while Lissa remained on the couch reading. Amelia dozed off, the magazine spread out on her lap. When Nolan returned downstairs, dressed in jeans and a button down, he offered a flirty glance toward his girl. He made himself a sandwich and sat down at the table to eat. As he finished, he gazed over at Lissa and caught her eye.

"Come sit with me," Lissa beamed as she patted the spot next to her.

"Whatcha been up to?" he asked as he wrapped his arm around Lissa's shoulders and ran a finger up and down her thigh.

"Nothing. Watching the monkeys run wild and reading a book for Independent Study English. Some Winter Break – I'm expected to have the entire book read and a reflection paper written before school resumes," she complained lightly.

"Poor Lissa," Nolan teased as he ran his hand from her shoulder to her hip, slowing down by her breast.

"You're not funny," she offered in a deadpan response as she glanced down curiously at his roving finger.

Leaning his head on her shoulder, he reached for the book as he asked, "What book is it?"

"The Scarlet Letter," she told him. "At least it's better than The Odyssey… that was torture."

Mumbling, Nolan offered, "Maybe you can read it to me later."

"Phhfffttt," Lissa sounded.

"When my class read that book, twenty five or thirty percent of our grade was based on tying the beginning Customs-House part to the rest of the book in a huge essay question," he recounted. "It sucked."

"Aaarrrgghh," she groaned. "I'm glad I'm taking the class by independent study and don't have to take a test."

Leaning close to her ear, Nolan inquired quietly, "When should we talk to Mom and Dad?"

"I dunno," she whispered back. "Do you think they'll flip out?"

"Probably…" Nolan pondered before adding, "I… I really have no idea what they'll do."


	29. Chapter 29 - Not Yet

**Chapter 29**

 **A Pivotal Year – Not Yet**

 **Nolan almost 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Wednesday, December 29**

Christmas came and went in much the same way it did each year. Even at almost 18, the oldest kids still received a stocking full of silly goodies from Santa. Nobody ever seemed to notice that Santa prepared stockings for everyone but Amelia. She knew she could have filled one for herself, but, really, watching everyone else discover the contents in theirs was far more enjoyable. Owen, for example, received a set of surgeon tools from the Dollar Store. Lissa, Anna, and Olivia discovered cheap makeup in theirs and the boys and Ria each received a blow up soccer ball. All of the stockings were overflowing with chocolate coins and candy canes as well.

Ryder continued to spend as much time at the treehouse as he could manage. Given his age, Amelia and Owen both reasoned that he simply wanted some privacy. They wanted to give him that space even though their guts tried to whisper to them that all was not well.

Nolan had decided not to tell Lissa or his parents about Ryder's drug use just yet. Instead, he was hoping to steer Ryder in another direction and avoid the drama of upsetting their parents. Ryder seemed to be handling the drug and hadn't moved on to anything more intense; knowing that, Nolan reasoned that he had time to consider other interventions and options before running to Owen and Amelia with the news.

As they prepared dinner on the 29th, the day before his birthday, Nolan had velcroed himself to Amelia and Owen and fumbled to find the right words to explain his plans. Rather than the expected family cake and celebration after dinner, Nolan was hoping to take Lissa to dinner alone. In his head, he was clear about wanting to spend the evening with his girlfriend. However, he experienced deep angst about the possibility of disappointing his parents.

"The big 18 tomorrow, huh, Nolan?" Owen stated cheerfully. "Does it feel any different?"

"Not really, but hey, I was going to…" Nolan began before Amelia interrupted him with a smirk.

"Here, Nole, chop up these green onions and hide them in the casserole before the littles see them. Then shred the carrots and sneak those in, too."

"Sure, Mom," Nolan agreed as he began to assist. "Anyway, I was about to…"

"Lucas Owen, I wish you had three or four more middle names that I could spout out to remind you _again_ not to run in the house," Owen bellowed with frustration.

"Sorry, Daddy," Lucas apologized as he walked as fast as he possibly could.

Owen glanced over at Lucas seriously and warned, "Sorry won't cut it next time."

"Owen, settle down," Amelia mumbled. "He's playing. Kids play. What's going to happen if he runs? Really?"

"Hey, guys, I wanted to mention something," Nolan attempted yet again.

Spinning her around to face him, Owen leaned closely toward Amelia and pulled her tightly toward his body, "Forget that…the question is what's going to happen here?"

Amelia rolled her eyes and tilted her head toward Nolan before slapping Owen's ass. "You're incorrigible," she whispered.

Sputtering, Owen attempted to laugh but couldn't quite bring himself out of the shock of her words, "I am?! Really, Hurricane Amelia?"

"Don't call me that," she grinned as she stirred the contents of a pot on the stove.

"Why _do_ people call you that sometimes, Mom?" Ryder inquired as he grabbed an apple and bit into it.

"It's almost dinner time. The apple can wait," Owen stated plainly.

"And I need to tell you something before dinner," Nolan insisted, only to be ignored yet again amidst the chaos.

Ryder shrugged and bit into it again while looking at Owen directly, "What? An apple's healthy, right? What's the saying? It might even keep you and Mom away from me… win-win all around."

With a heavy sigh, Owen returned to his task. Surprisingly, Amelia volunteered an answer to Ryder's question even though ignoring it at that point may have worked well. "Hurricane Amelia…" she began as Ryder pulled out a barstool and sat down. "Let's just say I wasn't the easiest teenager to raise, Ry."

"Yeah? More. I want the dirt," Ryder begged.

Owen glanced at Amelia, wondering what she would disclose. She stopped what she was doing and leaned on the kitchen counter. "I was a hellion. Hurricane Amelia – that was Uncle Derek's name for me after he saved my life."

"Like, he grabbed the steering wheel before you hit a mailbox or something dumb like that?" Ryder pushed.

"No," Amelia breathed in deeply. "A little more serious than that. After he revived me from a drug overdose after I passed out. I also totaled his car, snuck out at night, and raised all kinds of hell."

"What the…?" Ryder began as his lower jaw dropped to the ground. "You're just messing with me."

Shaking his head, Owen inserted, "No, she's not." He put his arm around her and kissed her forehead as he pointed out, "Your mom's come a long way since then."

"Mom…" Ryder said slowly. "You were badass, huh?"

Standing up as tall as she could, Amelia mocked an offended response and suggested, "I still think I'm pretty badass. Hell, I operate on people's brains."

"Granted," Ryder nodded.

"I know this is an important discussion but I've been trying to say something," Nolan declared a little louder than normal.

Everyone stopped and stared at him, which made him uncomfortable. "I just need to talk to Mom and Dad," he explained as some siblings went back to what they'd been doing and others locked on for the next line of information.

"Sorry, Nolan," Owen apologized. "What's going on?"

"About tomorrow night…" he began haltingly.

Amelia interrupted with joy, "Oh, I invited Derek and his family over for cake and ice cream. Won't that be great?"

"Mom," Nolan stated as he grasped Amelia's forearm. "I was hoping to celebrate with Lissa tomorrow night… alone. Go out to dinner with her or something."

Deflated, Amelia looked down into the pot she'd been stirring and let out a quiet, "Oh. Of course. I should have checked with you first."

"Never mind," Lissa interjected as she sensed Amelia's disappointment. She walked toward the counter and grasped Nolan's hand. "Nolan, let's go out for my birthday. It's only a few days later. We can celebrate both our days then."

"Absolutely not," Amelia scoffed, trying to seem convincing. "No… you guys are adults now. We can't expect all the same traditions forever. Really… we'll still have Derek over and all the kids can run wild and wear each other out. No big deal." Owen could sense the pain just beneath Amelia's words.

"I hadn't even thought of Lissa's suggestion. Let's go for that," Nolan stated as he caught the nuances of Amelia's words. "We'll celebrate both our birthdays tomorrow with the family and then Liss and I will go out on her birthday."

"You sure?" Amelia hesitantly inquired.

"Yeah," Nolan nodded. "And actually, could the four of us chat alone after dinner?"

"Sure," Owen agreed with mild curiosity.

Once everyone gathered around the table, Ria suggested, "I want to play a game that I played at school before break."

"Can you explain it to us?" Owen inquired.

"I'll start and I say that I am thankful for something that starts with 'A,' then the next person picks something that starts with 'B,'" she detailed.

Ryder groaned sarcastically, "This sounds so complicated. Does the third person say something that begins with 'C'?" Nolan kicked his brother under the table and glared at him. Amelia glanced at Owen with disappointment.

Ria, missing the teenage contempt, beamed and sounded like her kindergarten teacher when she shared, "Yes! Great job, Ry!" Her adorably naïve response was better than anything Amelia or Owen could have stated. Ria continued, "I'm thankful for…applesauce!" She looked to her left and encouraged Nolan to go next.

"I'm thankful for… Lissa," he declared as he winked at his youngest sister.

"Lissa doesn't start with 'B,' Nolan!" Ria giggled.

"It doesn't?" he teased. "What is the first letter in Lissa's name?"

"Leh…ulll… Lissa…" Ria pronounced before proudly announcing, "'L'! And 'L' comes later. What about 'B'?"

Nolan praised Ria's efforts and resumed, "Let's see… I'm thankful for brothers."

"Yeah, right," Ryder snarked as he rolled his eyes.

Lucas sat up a bit straighter and celebrated, "Hey! I'm your brother! Cool."

After smiling toward his youngest brother, Nolan turned to Lissa and looked at her expectantly. Lissa stated, "I'm thankful for candy."

Mostly for his own entertainment, Lucas stated softly, "Candy…dandy…handy."

Following along without a prompt, Olivia smirked and shared, "I'm thankful for dogs like Barkley and Bogey."

Again, Lucas stated aloud, "Dog… fog, hog, log…"

Ryder gazed toward the ceiling, displaying an expression of deep boredom and disengagement. Rather than admonish him, Amelia encouraged, "You've got the first tricky one, Ry. Let's see your brilliance shine!"

"Eating," Ryder grumbled as he swallowed a large bite of food.

"You say 'I'm thankful for' first, Ryder," Anna instructed as if he'd missed the technicalities.

Lucas mumbled, "Eating, meeting, needing, zeeting."

"Zeeting isn't a word, Lucas," Ryder corrected with disgust. Lucas, disheartened by Ryder's correction, said nothing.

"Go ahead, Annabelle, pick something for 'F,'" Owen urged with cheer. He then turned and shared a reassuring grin with Lucas.

Anna sighed, frustrated that the game was not being played according to its rules. Moving on, she placed her forefinger on her cheek as she thought. "I'm thankful for family!" she announced with joy. "How about you, Mama? Use 'g,'"

"G… Hmm… I'm thankful for Grey Sloan Hospital," she grinned. "What rhymes with 'Grey,' Luke?"

Smiling, Luke shared, "Day, Hay, Say."

"H?! Easy," Owen quipped. "I'm thankful for Hunts and the Hunt family."

Lucas bit his lower lip and leaned toward his dad, whispering, "What rhymes with 'Hunt'? Bunt…"

Interrupting quickly as Ryder smirked at the next rhyme, Amelia offered, "Punt! Shunt! This is fun, Luke."

"What's my letter?" Lucas questioned, distracted by the rhyming efforts.

"I," Ria told him.

"I is hard…" Lucas declared to Owen.

Whispering back as if nobody could hear the conversation, Owen offered, "What do you put in your water if you want it to be colder?"

"Ice," Lucas answered. "I'm thankful for ice. Ice…mice, dice."

"J," Ria stated as she considered a response. "I'm thankful for jam _and_ jelly."

"Jam…ham…lamb. Jelly… belly… smelly," Lucas offered to whomever might be listening.

"Good job," Nolan praised. "I'm thankful for kicking soccer balls." Realizing the next letter, Nolan pointed out to Lissa, "Awww… you have 'L'."

"Kicking, ticking…" Lucas began before Lissa popped up quickly before Lucas tried 'D.' Ryder leaned back in his chair with a satisfied grin.

"I'm thankful for laughing," Lissa declared as she looked at Olivia for the next answer.

"Uh oh," Lucas worried as he looked to Owen for assistance, "What rhymes with laughing?"

"Hmm… just go to the next one," Owen advised with a shrug.

Olivia thought quietly before spouting, "I'm thankful for Mama!"

"Mama, llama," Lucas giggled. Amelia offered a wink.

"I'm thankful for nighttime," Ryder stated in a monotone voice. Lucas whispered to himself, attempting to find a rhyme.

Anna, thrilled with her epiphany, announced, "I'm thankful for operations that help my sister walk better… is operations an 'o' word?"

"It is!" Amelia celebrated.

The game continued around the table with Owen offering, 'Quick lab results' for 'Q' and family assistance when Anna ended up with 'X.' As Owen ended the game when 'Z' landed on his turn, he gazed at everyone and inquired, "What's everyone going to do after dinner?"

"Nap…" Ryder responded. "I'm thankful for naps."

"Silly!" Ria giggled. "People don't take naps _at night_ , Ryder."

"I do," he shrugged as he yawned. "Actually, can I be excused please? Liv already agreed to cover my chores tonight."

"It's true, I did," Olivia stated proudly.

"We were going to watch a movie together, sweetie," Amelia grieved. "Why don't you come snuggle up in a blanket on the couch and watch with us. If you fall asleep, that's fine."

"I don't think so," Ryder shook his head and offered a hint of a grin. "Good night, everyone."

After everyone else finished their dinner and went about their chores, Nolan and Lissa pulled Owen and Amelia aside to talk. The young couple sat next to each other nervously and Nolan's leg bounced up and down rapidly. After much discussion, they had decided to break their big news in stages. This would be part one.

"What's up, guys?" Owen inquired gently.

"Well… hey, this is…" Nolan paused to look at Lissa. She grinned back at him with encouragement. "We probably don't even need to ask since we'll be 18 and everything…"

"Ask what?" Amelia questioned curiously as she subtly grasped Owen's hand.

"Liss and I, we've been talking about some really fun ways to celebrate our birthdays," Nolan smiled. "Lissa's never left the US and I've really been wanting to go up to Canada before I go back to school. It's… umm… well, it's been a long time since I've been there."

"You're right," Owen nodded. "It has." With a resigned smirk, he continued, "What are you asking?"

"Maybe I'm just in the habit of asking for your consent…" Nolan stalled.

"What is it, Nolan?" Amelia urged.

Nolan leaned closer to Owen and Amelia as he softly asked, "The house in Victoria. Where we started growing up. Did you… sell it? Or is it still ours? Does it belong to me, Ryder, and Olivia?"

"It's still yours," Owen confirmed. "We've rented it out seasonally, usually in the spring and summer. Only to friends and friends of friends. The neighbor across the street – I don't know if you remember her - anyway, she helps us with it. Why?"

"I'd like to take Lissa up there – to see where I was born and everything. We were thinking we'd take the ferry up on the 31st and stay a few days," Nolan detailed.

"Just the two of you? Alone?" Amelia confirmed, more with motherly protectiveness than judgment.

"Yeah," Nolan confirmed.

"Of course you two can do that," Owen consented. "I mean, I guess you can do whatever you want as long as Lissa is back when school starts." Amelia squeezed Owen's hand, realizing she wasn't quite ready to let her eldest baby bird fully fly on his own.

Lissa piped up, "Remember? I'm doing independent study next term. I don't have to attend classes."

"Oh…right," Owen responded with a thoughtful tone. "I suppose we should sit down and figure out the details about how that will all shake out. We'll need to figure out what you'll be doing with all your free time, Lissa." He smirked with a fatherly nudge, hoping to steer her toward a part-time job or a volunteer opportunity.

With an awkward smile, Nolan jumped in, "Yeah. Right… that's an important conversation to have soon. Ok, then. Lissa and I are going to head over to Chris' and hang out with Chris and Linnea. We won't be too late." Nolan hurriedly stood up, bringing the conversation to a screeching halt. He wasn't ready to discuss part two of the plan he and Lissa had envisioned, and he wanted to save Lissa from fum

bling her way through it without being fully prepared. As the couple headed out the door, Nolan looked over his shoulder and forced a smile, "Umm… thanks, Mom and Dad. Canada… it's going to be great."

With hesitation, Amelia confessed, "I think I missed something…"

"Actually," Owen opined, "I'm pretty sure they have more to tell us. Nolan… umm… he shifted into awkward as soon as I mentioned Lissa and how she'll spend her time next term."

"Why would that freak him out?" Amelia questioned. "He'll be in LA and she'll be here." She raised her eyebrows playfully and grinned, "Weird children."

"Yeah, your influence creates all sorts of weird behaviors," Owen quipped in a deadpan tone. Amelia responded by laughing and gently pushing on his arm as Owen broke into a sneaky grin.


	30. Chapter 30 - Do Ask, Do Tell

**Chapter 30**

 **A Pivotal Year – Do Ask, Do Tell**

 **Nolan almost 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Wednesday, December 29**

That night, Ryder lay awake in his bed. At one point, he heard Owen carrying the littles to their beds and tucking them in. Later, he overheard Lissa and Nolan speaking quietly in the hallway as they said their goodnights to one another. Even without being able to see them, Ryder could imagine their puppy dog eyes and love-struck faces. Without a doubt, Nolan was caressing Lissa's cheek and dreamily beholding her beauty. She was standing as tall as she could, hoping to reach his face with her lips. He was both deeply jealous of their relationship and completely disgusted by it. Nearly as far back as he could recall, they were like Junior Parents and Little Adults. He couldn't imagine being so intimately connected to another person. In fact, he wasn't sure he ever wanted to be.

Sometimes when Ryder thought about his brother, he admired Nolan's determination and wisdom. Four years older and an old soul since birth, Nolan had been more like a Dad to Ryder than a brother in many ways. Ryder didn't remember their bio dad at all. Until Owen and Amelia adopted the trio, Nolan was essentially Ryder's primary male role model.

Once Lissa and Nolan headed to bed, Ryder slipped out of his room. He assumed nobody was downstairs. Heading to the garage fridge, Ryder hoped to find a stray soda hiding in the clutter. Discovering both a Coke and a Ginger Ale, Ryder grabbed them both and walked to the playroom.

"Oh, hey," Ryder stopped as he spotted Amelia. "I thought you went to bed."

Rolling her neck so she could see Ryder, Amelia grinned and explained, "Actually, I have to go to the hospital to cover the end of someone's shift soon. Didn't see any point in going to sleep at this point. Why are you up? It's late."

Walking to the couch in the disheveled clothes he'd napped in and plopping down next to his mom, Ryder sighed. "I dunno. Just woke up."

"You smell like pot, Ryder," Amelia commented flatly.

"What?" Ryder responded indignantly.

"All this will unfold more easily if you're honest," Amelia stated.

"You need sleep, Mama," Ryder uttered with a hint of teasing.

Amelia looked at Ryder out of the corner of her eyes. "Honey, you can't trick an addict. I've tried it all. I know the smells, I know the behavior. I've just been trying to deny what I've been seeing."

Folding his arms, Ryder scoffed subtly, "Huh?"

"The extra sleeping, isolating yourself in the tree house, the asshole behavior, showering whenever you come back from being alone," Amelia listed. "Tell-tale signs, Ryder."

"Are you pissed?" Ryder asked as his voice cracked. His gig was up, but he really didn't want to cry in front of her.

"Kind of," Amelia admitted without looking at him. "I'm more scared than anything."

"Scared? Why?" Ryder pushed.

"Because I know it doesn't stop at pot if you're an addict," Amelia defined.

"Do you think I'm an addict? Don't worry, Mom, I'm not. I could quit anytime if I wanted to," Ryder declared.

With a knowing laugh, Amelia responded, "That's what every addict thinks, Ryder."

Putting his arm around her, Ryder leaned his head on Amelia's shoulder and offered with bravado, "Mom, you don't need to worry about me."

"Really?" Amelia inquired with disbelief.

"My grades were all As this term, and that's including classes way above my grade level. I own the soccer field, and I'm not in any kind of trouble at school or with the police," Ryder reasoned.

Amelia looked directly into his eyes and commented quietly, "Yet."

With a scoff, Ryder responded, "C'mon, Mom. I'm not you… I'm not stealing prescription pads or wrecking cars or using until I pass out. I love you, Mom, but you're kinda putting your stuff on me."

Without replying to his assertion, Amelia inquired, "Are you willing to quit?"

"Uh… do I have a choice?" Ryder questioned back.

"Kind of. Your willingness to participate will make a difference in how everything goes down," she stated. "You can try to quit, undergo periodic tox screens, and re-earn my trust little by little. That's the easier path. Since you're under 18, the other option is that Dad and I can admit you to rehab against your will."

"Shit, Mom," Ryder sighed with shock. "Way to speed from 0 to 60 in the blink of an eye."

"I love you too much to screw around with this, Ryder," Amelia disclosed flatly.

After silence lingered between them for a minute or so, Ryder worked up the courage to continue the discussion. With a few tears slowly falling down his cheek, Ryder whimpered, "If I try to quit, can we keep it between us?"

"What do you mean?" Amelia wondered.

"Not tell Dad," Ryder sniffled.

"I can't keep this from him, Ry," Amelia declared.

"Mom," Ryder cried, "He'll freak. I… I can't deal with that. He's so hard on me and always in my face. Please, Mom. Give me a week. I'll prove to you I can quit without any problems."

Amelia wrapped her arm around her son and leaned her head on his shoulder. "He'll handle it."

"Yeah, after he pummels me into the ground and kills me," Ryder scoffed.

"Because he beats you so often, Ryder Blake," Amelia groaned with impatience.

Wiping under his eyes, Ryder tried to steady his voice as he said, "Work with me, Mom. Please?" He took a couple deep breaths and added, "I'm a good kid, Mom. I am."

"I am not judging you, Ryder," Amelia grimaced as she stroked his hair with a hand as her eyes pooled with tears. "You _are_ a good kid. You're a _great_ kid. This isn't about good and bad, honey."

"Then not telling Dad is no problem, right?" he attempted desperately. "Having him ride my ass will only make me want to use."

"So your drug problem is your dad's fault?" Amelia pushed flatly.

"No," Ryder grumbled. "But he stresses me out. He's always been hard on me. He doesn't get me, Mom. It's been that way since…" He paused and turned his face away from her before quietly mumbling with a shaking voice, "well, since my bio mom died. Since you guys adopted us."

Amelia leaned over to Ryder and hugged him tightly, "I'm so sorry your parents died, Ryder. It breaks my heart to know your memories of your dad are vague. Losing your mom only furthers the injustice of it all." Ryder pulled out of Amelia's grasp respectfully. Quietly, yet firmly, Amelia insisted, "It's unfair and it hurts. I still miss my dad… but let me tell you something about your dad. He loves you deeply, Ryder. He cares about you. He'd jump in front of a speeding train for you if it meant he'd save your life."

Without turning to her, Ryder wiped his eyes, sniffled, and mumbled, "I kind of need to go back to bed."

"There's a lot to consider," she acknowledged. Then Amelia reminded him, "I love you, Ry."

"Yeah," Ryder responded as he began to drag himself out of the room.

"Ryder," she announced, "I'm walking up with you. You need to give me your stash." She stood up and lightly grasped his hand. They walked upstairs silently and she followed him into his room. As he pulled the bottom drawer completely out of his desk, he reached down and grabbed a baggie. Amelia watched and a few quiet tears slipped down her face. She traced her finger along one of his long-ignored shelves that held signs of his younger years: an ignored but formerly cherished stuffed animal, a dusty old soccer trophies, a wobbly ceramic bowl made at summer camp years ago. Her funny, quirky, little dynamo… always precocious, charming, and buoyant. She missed that little boy desperately.

Reluctantly and without looking at her, Ryder handed her the baggie.

"What else? There's more," she requested. She knew he had more than one hiding spot. She had always had multiple spots. That was a common practice for users.

He sighed and lifted his mattress where another baggie was stowed. Then he opened the closet door and reached into a shoe box. He pulled out a little box filled with weed. He handed the box and the second baggie to Amelia.

Without a word, he pulled out a paper bag that held his bong and a pipe. Gazing at the floor, he mumbled, "That's everything."

Pursing her lips, Amelia nodded and attempted to hug Ryder. He pulled away and mumbled that he was tired. "We'll talk more tomorrow, Ry. You're not alone in this," she emphasized.

"Yeah, ok," Ryder groaned as he pulled off his shirt and began to kick off his shoes as if she'd already left him alone.

Amelia put everything into the paper bag and stepped out of Ryder's room. She walked over to the Master Bedroom and closed the door behind her.

"Hey," Owen mumbled sleepily. "I thought you weren't going to sleep before going in."

She stepped into the walk-in closet and hid the bag behind some clothes headed for donation. Then, sitting down on the bed, Amelia began breathing in and out audibly. She reached out and Owen grasped her hand gently. "Mia?" he asked carefully.

Whimpering, she managed to share, "Please… hold me."

Owen wrapped his arms around Amelia and stroked her hair as she sobbed. "Hey… hey… shhhh… Mia…"

After a few minutes of holding her, Owen whispered, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," she mumbled as she melted into his strong arms.

"Let it out… lean into it, Mia… the pain isn't bottomless," he encouraged and reassured her. She bawled for what seemed to her to be an eternity. As Owen held her, he wracked his brain and attempted to figure out what could have brought this flood of emotion into his otherwise resilient wife. Just the same, he wanted to respect her choice to not talk about her pain.

Sniffling and reaching for a tissue, Amelia pulled away to blow her nose. "I have to go to the hospital soon…I'll bet I'm a sight to behold, huh? I'm afraid I might scare the patients more than comfort them."

With a gentle grin, Owen responded, "I highly doubt that." He reached over and wiped her tears as he beheld her melancholy beauty. Placing both hands on her shoulders, he took in deep, audible breaths and hoped she would mimic his action. She leaned back into him and copied each inhale and exhale.

A few minutes later, after she'd fallen asleep in his arms, he tucked her under the blankets and slipped off the bed. As long as an emergency brain surgery didn't come in, he'd be able to cover her shift without a problem. Worried about her, Owen was certain he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. He wrote her a note, grabbed his cell phone and wallet, and stepped quietly down the stairs to the garage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Hey…" Callie inquired with blunt curiosity, "what are you doing here?"

Owen looked up from the chart displayed on his iPad. With a half chuckle and a clever grin, he quipped, "Checking up on my surgeons and making sure the night shift is pulling its weight."

"Yeah, right," she shook her head and sarcastically pointed out, "because that's always such a chronic problem around here. Especially on Wednesdays… those damn overnight Wednesday shifts always kick my butt."

With a slight laugh, Owen set the iPad down and turned around to lean on the counter. He looked at Callie with a thoughtful grin and considered telling her about Amelia's earlier break down. When Callie looked up at him curiously, he hurriedly came up with a lame question to which he already knew the answer, "Working New Year's Eve?"

Resting her forearm on the counter, Callie sighed, "Isn't everybody?"

"I only schedule the best surgeons for such occasions, actually," Owen disclosed.

"Hmm…" Callie sounded as she raised her eyebrows and attempted to recall who was on the schedule that night. Teasing him, she inquired, "So your brother-in-law, Dr. The President Calls Me to Chat About Brain Mapping, isn't your best neurologist?"

"Ha," he scoffed. "I'd rather spend New Year's Eve with my beautiful, wonderful wife at the hospital than hang out here with her brother. Nice guy and all, but…" Leaving the sentence hanging, he displayed a boyish twinkle in his eyes.

"Yeah, I understand," Callie agreed as she lightly pushed Owen's upper arm and winked, "I'd rather meet up with Amelia in an on call room too."


	31. Chapter 31 - Happy Birthday

**Chapter 31**

 **A Pivotal Year – Happy Birthday**

 **Nolan almost 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Thursday, December 30**

At 7:00 am, Amelia awoke slowly with a relaxed smile on her face. She had slept soundly and felt refreshed. As she stretched, her hand touched Owen's note at the same moment that she remembered the overnight shift she was scheduled to work hours earlier.

"Crap," she panicked. She jumped out of bed and ran to her closet, mumbling to herself, "Even if I am the Chief's wife, I'm busted…Hell, I'm probably really busted because I'm the Chief's wife. He seldom does me any favors. Where the hell is my red sweater? C'mon, really? Nowhere. It apparently no longer exists. Dammit. I'll wear this one, I guess."

"Mama? Who are you talking to?" Lucas wondered aloud innocently as he stood before her in his footie jammies holding puppy blanky.

Amelia half laughed as she attempted to keep her balance while putting on a pair of jeans. "Myself, honey. Mama slept when she was supposed to be at the hospital. I have to hurry."

"Are you in trouble?" the curly red-head inquired.

"Yes… lots of trouble," Amelia informed him as her right arm became stuck in the sweater she'd chosen. "It's really, really, really not ok for doctors to forget to go to work."

"Who will be mad at you?" he wondered.

"The other doctors, maybe some nurses, and Daddy. Daddy's my boss," Amelia explained as she walked to the bed and sat down to put on her socks and shoes.

"Uh oh…" Lucas despaired. "Oh, Mama… being in trouble with Daddy isn't fun."

Amelia chuckled as she bent down and kissed the top of Lucas' head, agreeing, "I know, baby." She pulled back with gritted teeth and a widened mouth. "That's why I need to hurry," she added as she glanced in the mirror and threw her hair into a messy bun. Remembering the note she'd felt minutes earlier, she requested "Luke, there's a paper on Daddy's pillow. Can you bring it to me?"

He ran and jumped onto the bed as he exclaimed, "Super Lucas to the rescue!" Grasping the paper and Army crawling back to her, he whispered, "I'm doing this to make sure the bad guys don't see me."

Amelia couldn't help but smile widely at her little cherub. She whispered back as he handed her the note, "Thank you, Super Lucas." Holding the paper with Owen's doctor-worthy scrawl, she read, _Mia, After you fell asleep in my arms, I couldn't bring myself wake you up. I'm covering your shift. When you read this, perhaps the morning light has eased your dark sadness. Rehydrate, sleep, and be gentle with yourself this morning. I'll see you around 8am. With love, O_

Collapsing onto the floor with a mixture of relief and surprise, Amelia held out her arms and announced, "Come on over here, Super Lucas. Super Daddy is working my shift."

"Does that mean you're not in trouble?" he asked.

"It does," Amelia smiled as she hugged Lucas tightly. Then she fell onto the floor as she laughed and tickled him. His giggle filled her soul with joy. After rolling around and letting Lucas tickle her, Amelia suggested, "How about if we go eat breakfast and make some cocoa?"

"Ok," Lucas lit up as his eyes widened. "Umm…Mama? Your sweater looks kinda funny."

Amelia looked down and realized her sweater was on inside out. She nodded and pursed her lips before proceeding to the bedroom door, leaving the sweater unfixed. After a few steps, she gasped gently and proclaimed, "Lucas, today is Nolan's birthday. Should we go sneak up on him and wake him up?"

"Uh huh," Lucas agreed with a twinkle in his eye. Then he whispered loudly, "But first let's wake up everyone and they can attack him with us."

"Strength in numbers," Amelia strategized as her eyes narrowed. "Great idea."

They began with the twins, who were lying in bed and chatting with one another. Eagerly, the three amigos roused Olivia. She joined the plan instantly and repeatedly threw her hands over her mouth to dampen the sound of her laughter.

During a potty break, Amelia wondered if she should tell the kids to ignore Ryder's room. She didn't want to leave him out, yet didn't want to bother him. After warning the kids that he might not want to play, Amelia requested that she be the one to awaken him. To her surprise, Ryder decided to join in the adventure. He glanced knowingly at his mom as he held a grin.

Ria wanted desperately to be the one to tell Lissa the plan. Everyone agreed that Ria could take the lead, but Olivia warned, "She hates mornings, Ria… be careful."

With the wet, breathy whisper of a 5 year old, Ria stood inches away from Lissa's ear and revealed, "Lissa, wake up. We're gonna go attack Nolan 'cause it's his birthday."

Lissa peeked out with one eye and surveyed her bedroom full of Hunts. She gazed over at Amelia and commented with a smile, "Oh, he'll love this." Then she announced to everyone, "I'm in!"

As the group stood outside Nolan's bedroom door creating their plan of attack, everyone agreed that the littles would burst in first. By the end of the raid, all of them would squish onto his bed and yell, "Happy Birthday!"

Amelia opened the door just a touch and the littles burst in with enthusiasm. They jumped onto the bed and began yelling, laughing, and bouncing. Just as Nolan ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his eyes, everyone else joined the littles and the gang of six broke into a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday."

When the song ended, Nolan grabbed Olivia and the littles and pulled them down onto the mattress. He growled playfully, threw blankets over the kids, and warned, "Oh, just wait until your birthdays, monkeys." As he teased and tickled, he winked at Lissa with an expression that overflowed with affection. He mouthed, _I love you._ She responded by mouthing, _Happy Birthday._

Ryder worked his way through the chaos and pulled at Nolan's arm, declaring, "I'm pretty sure Nolan's making everyone breakfast to celebrate his birthday."

"Ha," Nolan scoffed, "More like _all of you_ are making _me_ breakfast, right?"

"Do you really want these yahoos in charge of preparing your food," Ryder wondered as he bent his head the littles. Nolan responded with a chuckle and put his arm around his brother. He squeezed Ryder toward him briefly before releasing him.

Breakfast preparations ended up being a shared affair, with everyone pitching in to help make pancakes and eggs. Mid-meal, a bedraggled Owen lumbered through the door yawning. With as much energy as he could muster, he observed, "What a spread. Is there enough for a tired Dad?"

"Of course," Anna confirmed as she extended her arm and motioned it toward Owen's seat.

"Were you at work, Daddy?" Ria wondered.

"I was," Owen verified as he grinned softly at Amelia and reached for the plate of pancakes.

Olivia inquired, "Was it busy?"

"No," Owen shook his head as he poured the syrup, "Pretty quiet. There were lots of patients in the ER, but no surgical cases. Strep throats, ear infections, a few lacs that needed sutures – that kind of thing."

"Did you get a turn sewing?" Ria questioned.

"You mean suturing? Yes, I did," Owen nodded. "You wanna hear about it?" The littles and Ryder all leaned toward him, eager to hear the details.

The rest of the family simultaneously remarked, "No." and Amelia added, "We're eating, Handsome."

Owen stuffed a huge bite into his mouth and shrugged as he glanced at the kids and mumbled, "Sorry. Maybe later." All of the sudden, Owen's eye caught a glimpse of Amelia's sweater, "Umm, Mia?" he began as he grasped his own sweatshirt at the shoulder, "What's with your sweater?"

She smiled softly and opened her mouth to begin to respond. Before she could utter a word, Lucas reported, "Mama thought she was in big, huge trouble and she was hurrying to get dressed so she could go to the hospital to be a doctor even though she was really late."

"Big huge trouble, huh?" Owen smirked. "Her boss must be really mean."

Lucas began to nod then caught himself and cracked up. "Daddy," he howled, "you're Mama's boss."

"Only at work, son. Only at work," Owen playfully quipped as he caught Amelia's eye.

"Is she your boss at home?" Lucas wondered.

"Nobody is anybody's boss at home," Amelia interrupted, referring to her marriage.

"Uh huh," Anna corrected. "You and Daddy are the bosses of all of us."

"Noted," Owen chuckled as he cast his chin toward his chest and teased with a serious tone of voice, "Annabelle, are your chores done?"

"Huh? We just woke up, Daddy," she protested.

"He's messing with you, Einstein," Ryder groaned.

With a flat acknowledgement, Anna blurted, "Oh." Then she offered her daddy a silly smile and commentated, "Good one, Daddy. You fooled me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

That evening, the frenzy of Grey-Shepherd and Shepherd-Hunt children playing filled the lake house with noise and chaos. The little boys, Bailey and Lucas, bragged that they could be a team against the girls, even though the numbers were 2 to 5. Nobody was clear why the teams were formed, and the ultimate goal of the game was equally nebulous. Just the same, the boys proudly shared that they were the winners. Meanwhile, after consuming ample portions of cake and ice cream, Ryder retreated to his bedroom quietly.

Derek, Meredith, and Owen drank wine as they joined Amelia, Nolan, and Lissa on the couch. Derek wanted to hear all about USC and his nephew happily obliged.

"Are you still considering accounting and pre-law?" Derek inquired.

"Absolutely," Nolan nodded. "The business classes really interest me. I know that probably sounds really boring, but, oh well."

"You have to follow your passions," Derek affirmed. "You're just so brilliant and gifted with science. I hate to see you pass that by."

"No Shepherd hot boxing trying to convince the boy to be a doctor," Amelia warned her older brother.

Putting his hands in front of his shoulders, Derek defended himself, "I'm not. I'm not."

"You are too," Meredith grinned. "You weren't there yet, but you were headed that way."

As he blew a puff of air toward his hair, Derek refuted with a boyish grin, "You can read my mind, huh? You knew exactly what I was thinking and what I was going to say?"

"Pretty much," Meredith responded.

"Ah… I see," Derek nodded as he pursed his lips. Turning to Lissa, Derek changed the subject, "You want to be a teacher, right, Lissa?"

"Yeah, until we have kids of our own," she replied as she glanced at Nolan. He grasped her hand and squeezed it as she spoke.

"How many kids do you want to have?" Meredith questioned.

"Probably four," Nolan volunteered as Lissa agreed.

"Just enough hands to corral them all," Owen teased. "Wise choice."

"I'll bet that Southern California sunshine is pretty wonderful," Meredith ventured. "Do you plan to stay down there, return to Seattle, or move somewhere else after school?"

The young couple had never discussed that detail. Lissa blinked and subtly leaned her head toward Nolan, and Nolan responded, "You know, we've actually never discussed that. I guess we'll go wherever I end up working. Boston, New York, or LA are probably the most likely."

"But when you have children, you'll move close to your mama and dad, right?" Amelia pushed.

Nolan scoffed respectfully and caught Amelia's eyes. Owen saved the couple from further grilling, "If you two want to pop in a movie or do something other than hang out with us old people, it's ok by me."

"It's been great catching up," Nolan smiled toward Derek and Meredith as he quickly stood up. In the blink of an eye, the couple was making out in the playroom.

Later, after the Grey-Shepherds had packed up their offspring, Amelia ushered Lucas through his bedtime routine while Owen tended to the girls. Afterward, Amelia went to wash her face, and Owen patrolled the house to make sure doors were locked and all the lights were off.

As he checked the back door, he was slightly surprised to hear the faint sounds of the TV in another room. Forgetting that Nolan and Lissa had sequestered themselves in the playroom earlier, Owen assumed the littles had abandoned a movie in progress. He casually entered the darkened room to turn off the flickering television. Focused only on one another, Nolan and Lissa were completely unaware of Owen's presence.

Their arms were wrapped around each other and their hands were roaming beneath clothing and along skin. As Nolan's hand ended up caressing Lissa between her legs, she moaned softly with delight. Owen froze, wondering if he'd just heard a voice. Nolan worked his way downward, beginning at Lissa's lips and heading toward her hips. With observant passion, Nolan mumbled, "You like that, Shorty?" She softly purred.

Now Owen was positive he was not alone in the room. He was simultaneously embarrassed and furious. Thankful that he had not turned on the lights, Owen cleared his throat. Nolan promptly leapt off Lissa, He pulled his jeans up and fumbled with his unbuttoned shirt. Exhaling a quick sigh of relief, Nolan was deeply grateful that Owen had not turned on the lights. Wishing she could become invisible, Lissa quietly re-dressed and remained under a blanket.

"Shit, Dad," he exclaimed unintentionally. "You scared the hell out of me."

"It's late, you two," Owen stated in a neutral tone.

"Yeah… I'll lock up down here, Dad. No worries," Nolan offered with a hint of nervous energy.

"Time for bed," he voiced flatly.

"Yep. Be right up," Nolan promised.

"That'd be best," Owen concluded as he turned and left the room. As he headed to bed, he beat himself up for not knowing what to do or say when he realized the kids were fooling around. He'd basically frozen. After working Amelia's shift earlier, he did not have the energy to lose his temper. At the same time, he wondered what the house rules meant now that Nolan was 18. Had his expectations shifted at all because Nolan was officially an adult? After all, Owen admitted to himself that he wasn't surprised the kids were doing whatever it was they'd been doing. He was relieved and grateful that he hadn't seen more detail and that he wasn't exactly sure just what he'd interrupted.


	32. Chapter 32 - Unexpected

**Chapter 32**

 **A Pivotal Year – Unexpected**

 **Nolan 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Friday, December 31**

"There's a ferry calling your name, Sleeping Beauty," Nolan whispered in Lissa's ear after slipping into her bedroom to wake her up.

Groaning, Lissa responded without opening her eyes, "Isn't there a later ferry that can call my name?" She threw her pillow over her head and wished she could continue sleeping.

Just like hours earlier in the playroom, Nolan wasn't concerned about being caught in squirreled away places with Lissa. Although he knew that he was breaking all sorts of house rules, he had reasoned that being a college student meant that he was no longer subject to the same boundaries and expectations. When Owen had discovered the couple the previous night, Nolan noted that his dad did not appear to be angry. Given that, Owen's reaction only confirmed Nolan's assumption.

Emboldened by his new understandings, Nolan slid onto the bed and straddled Lissa. Although the comforter and blankets lay between them, sliding underneath them would be far from inconvenient. Nolan's hope was to wrap Lissa in his arms and start the morning with as much as adventure as she'd allow.

"Nolan!" Lissa whispered with a surprised warning.

"I love you," he grinned sheepishly before moving toward her and kissing her.

With consternation, Lissa stated almost silently, "I love you, too, but get off me. You're crushing me."

"How about if I sprawl out alongside you like this?" he described playfully as he velcroed his body alongside hers.

Lissa frowned, "Last night was embarrassing enough. Besides, there'll be plenty of time for that in a few hours."

"Really?" he flirted. "How much _that_ do you mean?" He gazed at her as his heart beat rapidly. They hadn't talked about exactly what might or might not happen in Canada, but Nolan's hopes were high.

Still waking up, Lissa furrowed her brows and questioned with a yawn, "Huh?"

Nolan ran a hand through her hair and gently kissed Lissa's cheek. As his hand worked its way under the comforter and onto her torso, he whispered in her ear, " _That…this_. You said there will plenty of time for that later."

Both stern and playful, Lissa commanded, "Get outta here and take your fantasies with you. I need to get ready."

Putting his feet on the floor, he offered a playful smile. "We have to leave in 45 minutes," Nolan informed her with hesitation. He knew she'd want more time even though she'd already packed the night before. All she needed to do was hop in the shower, primp, and hop in the car.

Still whispering, Lissa exclaimed, "45 minutes?! I need at least an hour."

"We'll eat on the ferry," Nolan assured her. "Besides, I wanted to let you sleep in as late as possible."

She rolled out of bed, placed her hands on his cheeks, and kissed him briefly. With a giggle, she grabbed his ass and attempted to clarify, "Sleep? Or something else?" Then she turned toward her bathroom and closed the door.

Tempted to sit on her bed and wait for her to come back, Nolan stood and considered his options. Except for loading the car, he was ready to leave. He seriously thought about heading to his bedroom to tend to the bulge in his pants. Given the hour, there was a significant risk that Owen, Amelia or one of his siblings would walk in at just the wrong moment. Being caught last night was tolerable; being caught alone with his pants down would be an entirely different experience.

Therefore, he reasoned, why not kick back and scan the _Seventeen_ magazine on Lissa's nightstand. She hated when he mocked her magazines. Reading it now would give him a chance to privately make fun of it without the risk of upsetting her.

Propping up the pillows, Nolan leaned against the headboard and bent his knees so his lap made a display stand for the magazine. The first few pages, all advertisements, didn't catch his attention so he flipped through them quickly. Spotting a quiz – consistently his favorite feature to deride – he grabbed a pen and began to answer the questions.

Mumbling to himself, he began, "Your friends come to you when they need…" Considering the four options, he chose, "book recommendations." The next question was, "You scored major $$$ babysitting. You:" He read the possible answers aloud for his own entertainment, "Hmm… definitely not 'go to your favorite vintage shop,'" he decided as he crossed it out. Looking at the remaining choices, he picked the one about saving for an iPad. When asked about what makeup look he'd select for a party where his crush would be present, he decided upon a natural style. Then, unable to bring himself to consider dating one of four famous hotties, he closed his eyes and blindly selected his male dream date. Mumbling aloud once again, he pondered, "Hmm…which hairstyle? Ponytail with volume? Cool, braided updo? Chignon? Loose, romantic waves? What the hell is a chignon, anyway, and how the hell do you pronounce it?"

As Nolan tallied his score, Amelia knocked softly and let herself in. "Umm… hello," she stated with surprise and curiosity.

Looking up briefly from the magazine, Nolan grinned and returned the greeting, "Hey, Mom."

"What are you doing in here?" Amelia asked seriously with her chin dropped toward her chest.

"I…" he paused as he turned to the page with the results before looking up, "am taking a quiz to find out what prom dress I should buy."

"Prom dress…" she echoed with half a laugh.

"Apparently, my style is girly and preppy. A beaded, pastel chiffon dress will give me a classic and pretty look," he smiled proudly as he held out the magazine.

Nodding and smiling, Amelia stated, "Really? Well, let me recommend you begin your adventure at Nordstrom."

"Thanks," he grinned as he sat up and asked, "What's up?"

"I was coming in to chat with Lissa before you two left," she explained. "And your reason for being in here with the door closed, sir?" she inquired as she folded her arms.

"Oh, sorry…" Nolan scrambled and stood up. "I came in here to wake her up, she went to take a shower, and I spotted an opportunity to make fun of her new issue of Seventeen." He paused, threw the magazine on the bed, and awkwardly headed toward the door. Face-to-face with Amelia, Nolan's earlier bravado about breaking the house rules was replaced with chagrin. Before leaving, he grabbed Lissa's duffel so he could take it to the car.

Amelia grabbed the magazine, rolled it up and tapped Nolan on the head, "Out, Miss Classic and Pretty."

"Hey," he whined feebly before laughing.

"Nole? Is that you?" Owen called from the kitchen as Nolan barreled down the stairs.

"What's up?" Nolan questioned as he approached his dad.

"About last night…" Owen began as he rubbed his chin with his hand and raised his eyebrows.

"Thanks for not flipping out," Nolan grinned as he grabbed an apple and bit into it.

Glancing at his son, Owen clarified, "That wasn't where I was heading."

"What do you mean?" Nolan inquired as casually as he could.

"I haven't had a chance to talk to your mom yet, but I need to let you know I was disappointed and a little frustrated," Owen shared. "Our house rules have always been clear."

With a confident smirk, Nolan placed a hand on Owen's shoulder and emphasized, "Dad… it's not like I'm 15."

Suddenly stern, Owen emulated Nolan's sentence structure and pointed out, "Nolan… it's not like this place is a brothel."

Unable to stop himself, Nolan laughed. "Right…" he sounded slowly. "If it was, what would you be saying about my girlfriend?"

Stone faced, Owen bore his eyes into Nolan's. "You crossed the line last night, Nolan James." Nolan had no problem mirroring Owen's expression back to him and challenging him by not responding. "My point is that you and Lissa are still under my roof. My home, my rules."

Nolan glanced off to his right and took a deep breath through his mouth. Lowering his brows quizzically, he turned his head to the side and pushed, "But when I'm at USC…"

"Stop," Owen insisted as he interrupted. He rubbed his face with both hands and groaned softly. "Listen. You're young. You have huge dreams, Nolan. Enormous dreams that you are gifted enough to achieve. Dealing with fatherhood while going to college… all your goals would be impaired. Is it worth the risk?"

Deciding to continue trying to find the flaws in Owen's statements rather than truly discussing the matter, Nolan retorted, "Let' see: I'm brilliant enough to achieve incredible dreams but not to use birth control? C'mon, Dad. Besides, we haven't taken that step…not that our sex life is any of your business."

Shaking his head and turning away to open a cabinet, Owen concluded, "We're done discussing this for now. We'll talk more when you two return from Canada."

Tempted to mimic Owen behind his back, but stopping himself from doing so, Nolan offered an indifferent, "Uh huh." Then he proceed to load Lissa's bag into the car and walk around outside to cool down his heated emotions. Although he couldn't name it, part of Nolan's angst was being fed by his own doubts and questions about when he and Lissa might take their relationship further. Without knowing it, he was in such an enormous hurry to grow up. Being left hard and alone on Lissa's bed earlier didn't help his disposition either.

When Nolan came back inside ten minutes later, Owen was standing at the door waiting for him. Owen and Nolan were the only ones in the area, yet Owen still scanned the room before speaking. He placed his arm around Nolan and leaned toward him, awkwardly offering, "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, Nolan. I'm still sorting all this out in my own head."

"I thought we were done discussing this. That was your mandate a few minutes ago," Nolan snapped before walking over to the couch and waiting for Lissa to come downstairs. Mostly to challenge his father, Nolan leaned back on the furniture and stretched his feet onto the coffee table.

Meanwhile, Amelia, unbeknownst to Owen and unaware of the goings on in the playroom the previous night, sat down with Lissa.

"Come sit down, lovely lady," Amelia grinned as she sat on Lissa's bed and patted the spot next to her.

With a cheerful countenance, Lissa strolled over and sat down. She put her arm around Amelia and asked, "What's up, Amma?"

Amelia smirked awkwardly and gazed out the door to the balcony before grasping Lissa's hand and looking her in the eye. She mused aloud, "You know… I seldom become antsy when I have something to say to someone."

With a chuckle, Lissa agreed, "I know that. Do you need to say something to me?"

"Yeah," Amelia responded quickly before pursing her lips.

Without much detail to go on, Lissa wondered aloud, "Am I in trouble?"

"No, not at all, Liss," Amelia assured her. "I'm just going to spit it out. I'm not sure about your plans in Canada."

Lissa sat up a bit straighter and concern was written all over her face. "Umm… like you're not sure if I can go?"

"I'm not doing very well with my words," Amelia stated flatly toward the wall. "Of course you can go. We seem to keep missing each other's point." Without catching Lissa's eye, Amelia leaned down. She grasped a small bag and handed it to her. As she hugged her future daughter-in-law, she patted Lissa on the back. Then she sat up again and displayed a reluctant grin, whispering, "Just… uh… be careful."

Furrowing her eyebrows and grinning, Lissa leaned toward Amelia in an attempt to figure out what was going on. Lissa responded, "Umm… ok. Thanks?" Amelia smirked as the two awkwardly remained at one another's side.

"Should I open it now?" Lissa asked with a bemused query.

"No… no, later's best," Amelia shook her head and smirked as she waved her hand dismissively.

Lissa sensed that the two were somehow sharing a special moment even though she had no idea what the moment was about. Reaching out, she hugged Amelia and offered, "Love you, Amma."

Patting Lissa on the back, Amelia closed her eyes and repeated the sentiment, "I love you, Larissa. Have a great trip." The two walked downstairs together as Lissa held the mystery bag in her hand.

When Nolan heard them, he confirmed with a smile, "You ready, Shorty?"

"Yep," Lissa sung. Turning to Owen, she hugged him briefly and expressed, "Love you, Dads. Happy New Year."

Nudging Nolan, Lissa mumbled and insisted that he hug Owen goodbye. "See ya, Dad," Nolan said flatly as he offered a half-hearted hug to Owen.

"Awwww…" Lissa blurted happily when she saw the hug. "You guys are the cutest."

As they pulled away from each other, Owen pursed his lips and quipped, "Thanks." Cute would not be the first word he'd prefer as a descriptor, but, considering the source, the term was quite a compliment.

With Lissa's duffel bag strap on his shoulder, Nolan reached out his free arm and guided Lissa to the car.

By this time, Amelia stood at her husband's side. Owen paused and looked directly at the young couple, responding, "Be safe and have fun."

"We will," Lissa chimed.

After Nolan opened the passenger door for her and then settled himself into the driver's seat, Lissa divulged, "Soooo… Amma. Totally weird little convo upstairs."

"Yeah?" Nolan wondered aloud as he drove out the gate.

"When I came out of the bathroom, she was sitting on my bed looking all wistful and motherly," she described.

Nolan chuckled, "That _is_ weird…for her anyway."

"Oh there's more!" Lissa warned. "She kept tripping over her words and then handed me this bag."

"What's in it?" Nolan chuckled.

Lissa smiled from ear to ear as she broke into a laugh, "I have no idea. Should I open it?"

"Meh," Nolan shrugged, "It's probably snacks for the ferry. Throw it in your purse and we can open it later."

The drive to the ferry was fairly brief, and traffic was light on the holiday morning. Still sleepy, Lissa was not as talkative as she normally would have been. With a soft sigh, Lissa rested on Nolan's upper arm and hugged it. Curiously, she wondered aloud, "Trems… what's it going to be like for you to return to Victoria?"

Without giving his response much thought, Nolan admitted, "I'm not sure. Why?" He paused and let out a soft laugh, "Are you worried about me, Blondie?"

"I care about you, silly. I've been thinking about what it would be like for me - encountering so many old memories," she explained.

"Yeah," Nolan nodded without removing his eyes from the road. "Lots of wonderful memories mostly." He kept driving as his mind wandered, then added, "I suppose seeing the firehouse will suck – remembering Dad in his gear and how much he loved his job. Hell, we'll drive on the part of the freeway where Mom died. That'll suck."

After a pregnant pause, she ruminated, "So sad… too much tragic death in this family."

"Mmm," Nolan sounded, unsure what to say. His stomach suddenly felt like it contained a large rock.

As Lissa gazed out the front windshield. Unconsciously changing the subject, she reasoned with a cheery voice, "Amma might be weird now and then, but she really is adorable. I love the way she cares about you, Ryder, and Olivia – there's no distinction at all between her adopted kids and her bio kids. Come to think of it, Dads is the same way. Gotta love 'em."

Not responding to Lissa's musings, Nolan pulled into a parking spot and turned off the engine. He smirked quickly, pecked Lissa on the cheek, and announced enthusiastically, "Here we go, Shorty."

In the blink of an eye, he hopped out of the car and walked to the trunk to grab their bags. Lissa slowly stepped out of the car after she'd opened the passenger door for herself. Her large purse dwarfed her petite frame and weighed her down as she reached out for her duffel bag.

"Oh no, Blondie, I've got this," Nolan winked as he attached the duffel to a rolling suitcase and began walking toward the ferry. His backpack hung off one shoulder and his opposite hand grasped hers with unwavering love. The moment was liminal and nearly took her breath away. Out of the blue, she knew to the depths of her soul that somehow life was never going to be the same. Although details were non-existent, the epiphany was profoundly reassuring and far from frightening. Boarding the ferry for Canada would cement a before and after moment. As her heart overflowed with peace, Lissa wished she could freeze the sacred threshold in time. She yearned to discover and experience the mysteries that lay on the other side.


	33. Chapter 33 - Homeward Bound

**Chapter 33**

 **A Pivotal Year – Homeward Bound**

 **Nolan 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Friday, December 31**

Lissa's awe-inducing experience of serenity passed swiftly. Now very much present in the moment, she noticed that Nolan was displaying a resolute sense of composure, almost as if he was posing for a picture or attempting to impress someone. His steadfast and even-tempered presence seemed firmer and more deeply rooted than usual. She melted in the face of such confidence, wishing he could pour just a touch of it into her tender, hesitant, and self-doubting psyche. Yet while she found her heart fluttering in response to his apparent strength, she couldn't help but wonder what was prompting such a shift in him.

As she attempted to sort out her observations, Nolan's last two responses in the car echoed in her head. He'd been distant and almost preoccupied, yet pleasant and respectful. Was he simply lost in his thoughts as he anticipated a return to his homeland? What else might be on his mind? She was fairly certain he was not upset with her, yet the subtle shift in his demeanor seemed significant. Her volume of inquisitive apprehension about his responses rivaled his apparently solid, but actually thin, veneer of assurance.

Within a few minutes, her overwhelming sense of serenity transformed into an icy foreboding that sent a chill up her spine. Attempting to dismiss the fear, Lissa told herself, _You're overthinking. If Nolan knew what was cycling through your brain, he'd chuckle and roll his eyes. He'd say you were being dramatic or overly anxious. 'Stop creating feelings and realities that aren't there,' he'd say._

"Shorty, did you hear what I said?" Nolan inquired with a hint of concern.

Lissa blinked and shook her head, "Sorry, Trems. I guess I was in my own little world. What'd you say?"

"The papers – to board. Do you have your license and the documents from Dad promising you're not a runaway and all that?" Nolan asked.

"Right here," Lissa smiled as she reached into her Mary Poppins purse and immediately produced an envelope. She handed it to Nolan, who studied her face and attempted to read her thoughts.

When they reached the front of the line, the customs official waved them through without checking their identification or paperwork. Within moments, they were on their way.

After boarding the ferry and stowing their bags safely, Nolan urged Lissa to walk on the deck with him despite the biting December morning air. She excused herself and headed to the bathroom, promising to meet him outside.

Leaning against his forearms that rested on a rail, a strange feeling consumed Nolan. He couldn't name it, but its heaviness rooted him to the spot where he stood and tightened his jaw. As he blinked slowly, his mind surprised him with a flood of memories from his early childhood. He smiled softly toward the water before lifting his eyes to the sky when his mother's laugh sounded in his head. A profound emptiness emerged from the depths of his being, clenching onto his consciousness as the ferry abruptly lurched away from the dock. Yet the ship's launch also freed him from the durable moorings of denial that had bound him since Kayla's death.

Nolan recalled the early days with Owen and Amelia. He had been so profoundly grateful to be openly and lovingly embraced by such caring and dedicated relatives. For so long, while his body and spirit had attempted to drag him toward the temporary hollow sadness and through his grief, his mind had insisted that he focus on tending to Ryder and Olivia as they transitioned to a new life, a new country, and a new set of parents. His own needs, his own process of adjustment, and his own sorrow over losing his parents and familiar home were never fully tended. With a stubborn habit of setting his own needs aside and without ever noticing his emotional sacrifices, Nolan stood on the ferry and realized that he had wrapped protective layers around his deeply buried pain for years.

 _You're my special boy, Nolan,_ he recounted Kayla's plea at Blake's funeral, _I'm counting on you to stand by my side._ For years, his mother had reluctantly cast him into the role of a little adult. Her confidence had plummeted when Blake died. Navigating the world alone was not an option for Kayla, she was far too broken. Nolan's gentle determination to face forward helped her survive the hardest days of widowhood and single parenthood that ebbed and flowed.

At the same time, Kayla had attempted mightily to let Nolan be a child, but he was an attentive, observant, and wise soul. After brief periods of play and without anyone's urging, he seemed to sense that he was needed in other roles. Without hesitation, the sage seven year old – and later the astute eleven year old - stepped into the scene and substituted for the missing characters. He was a godsend and a tremendous gift to everyone but himself.

Lissa purchased two hot cocoas and rounded the corner inside the ferry. She spotted Nolan on the deck. He seemed to be a million miles away. Although he had slipped on his leather gloves, thrown a scarf around his neck, and buttoned up his wool duffle coat, the brisk wind sliced into his reddened cheeks and blew his long hair in multiple directions. His outer appearance served as a metaphor for his inner reality. He stood boldly before the wind with strength, courage, and resilience, not seeming to care about the cold squall that attacked his face and penetrated his skin. At the same time, he was heavily bundled up and his body was protectively shielded his from the gusty intrusion of the weather's reality.

Rather than immediately approach him, Lissa chose to sit inside and study him through a window. The depth of her love for Nolan was endless. His current appearance simultaneously beckoned her and distanced her. A push-pull dynamic permeated the air, causing Lissa to wonder how to proceed. She wanted to both support him by standing by his side and to also respect him by granting him uninterrupted solitude. Intrigued by his level of concentration, she noticed that he did not appear to be angry or sad; however, she would definitely describe his presence as intense.

She eventually stood up and proceeded through the door, bracing herself for the biting temperatures. Wrapping her coat more tightly around her body, she proceeded toward the love of her life. When she reached him, Lissa held out one of the warm cocoas. "Hey…" she whispered with care, "You ok, Trems?"

Instantly pulling himself into the present moment, he grasped the drink and grinned. She placed her hand on Nolan's forearm with a tender touch. He wondered aloud, "Do you have my hat in your purse? I thought it was in my coat pocket, but…" He paused mid-sentence as Lissa handed him her cocoa, rummaged briefly through her bag, and pulled out the knit hat Grandma Carolyn had made for him last Christmas. With twinkling eyes, she stood on her tip toes and reached upward as he bent over slightly. She placed the hat on his head and tucked in the stray hairs that peeked out from the interconnected yarn.

"We should go inside. It's freezing out here," she smiled widely as she snuggled into his arm.

"Do you want my coat?" he asked as he began to remove it from his body.

"No," Lissa insisted as she pulled the coat's shoulder back onto Nolan. "I want to slip inside, snuggle, and sip cocoa."

Nolan softly touched the tip of her nose with his forefinger as he let out a tiny chuckle. "How about if you warm up and find a spot for us? I want to stay out here awhile." He glanced toward her purse and teased, "You can take the quiz in your new Seventeen. It'll be cool to see if you and I should buy the same style of prom dress."

She lowered her shoulders and cocked her head, guessing, "You marked on the quiz, didn't you?"

Raising his eyebrows and shoulders, Nolan smiled and kissed her forehead before returning his gaze to the water.

Once on the lower deck, Lissa spotted two seats that faced the prow. She briefly gazed out the window before thumbing through her magazine. After reading an article about how to get along with a friend's annoying boyfriend, she came upon the prom dress quiz. Lissa giggled at Nolan's responses and wondered when he would join her. Although he was on the same ferry and easily accessible, she missed him. She shook her head in disbelief as she silently wondered why the feeling had washed over her.

Nolan remained on the deck, continuing to lean on the rail and delve into an exploration of years past. When Lissa had mentioned tragedy earlier, a new awareness had awoken and emerged in Nolan. With sudden and overwhelming clarity, he saw that his own needs had simmered on back burners or rested on nearby trivets ever since Blake had died. While tending to and focusing on his family's suffering, Nolan endeavored to keep their large stew pots of grief from boiling over or catching fire. The burners holding his own heavy cast iron skillets representing the everyday challenges of growing up and the deep grief of losing both parents had become cold as they went untended and faint flame underneath faded. Over time, the skillets were forgotten and the back burners dimmed. As a result, little by little, the faint flame underneath was barely discernable. Lissa had unintentionally thrown a lit match into the gas of the furthest burners when she named the reality that played a crucial role in Nolan's life: tragedy. Her remarks re-ignited the abandoned and forgotten flames. Suddenly, the heavy cast iron skillets that had been hidden behind everyone else's needs long ago began to warm.

After 90 minutes of standing in the brisk wind, Nolan's cheeks began to ache and his nose began to run as a result of the arctic cold. Keeping the newly re-lit burners of self-care flickering, Nolan cupped his hands over his mouth and face and huffed his warm breath onto his nearly numb skin. As he stepped back from the rail and from his thoughts, he discovered the frigid sharpness of the air. The space revealed that his earlier mask of false resilience had fallen into the churning wake left behind the ferry. The façade was replaced by a wholeness and serenity unlike any he'd ever known. An all-encompassing awareness rested within him.

With buoyant steps, he hurried toward the warmth of the lower deck and walked to the seats Lissa had described in a text. She sensed his arrival and peered over her shoulder at the same moment that he approached her from behind. Undeterred, he embraced her and kissed her cheek, ear, and neck repeatedly. He whispered, "Larissa Howe, I'm so grateful for you and all the years you've been at my side."

Beaming from ear to ear, Lissa's whole face lit up as she gazed into Nolan's compelling green eyes. "Wow…" she slowly muttered as she grasped his hand and pulled him onto the seat beside her. "What did I do to deserve that?"

"You've been you," he proclaimed as he slipped some stray hair behind her ear.

She studied him silently then visually followed her finger as she ran it along the arm of his still-cold coat. After bending over and softly kissing his glove, she glanced up briefly before burrowing into his chest and arm.

"Mmmmm," he hummed peacefully.

Nolan dozed off with Lissa in his arms until she nudged him and softly announced, "Nolan, we're coming into the harbor."

He rubbed his eyes and attempted to re-orient himself. Catching sight of the memorable Victoria harbor, an overwhelming sense of wholenessrushed over him. Barely audible, he voiced, "Home."

"What Trems?" Lissa asked as she caught his eye.

He lifted their joined hands off the armrest, exhaled peacefully, and shared, "Home… I'm home."


	34. Chapter 34 - New Year's Eve in Seattle

**Chapter 34**

A Pivotal Year – New Year's Eve in Seattle

 **Nolan 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Friday, December 31**

The littles were beside themselves with anticipation, knowing they were headed to the Dream House to spend New Year's Eve with their Auntie Mer, Uncle Derek, and cousins. Somehow, Meredith had convinced Maggie to watch Zola and Olivia at Owen and Amelia's house overnight, and Ryder was signed up for an all-night soccer party. Amelia celebrated that all of the kids were farmed out successfully.

As soon as Maggie arrived, Olivia and Zola peppered her with questions. "Can we go out to dinner if we're really good? Are you going to let us stay up until midnight? What are we going to do tonight? Did you bring any games? Can we make something with glitter?"

"Slow down, slow down," Maggie smiled as she hugged both girls. "One question at a time and the first one I'll answer is about food. Yes, we can go out." The girls jumped up and down and ran around the lower floor screaming with delight.

"I can't thank you enough for watching them. I'm so grateful," Amelia spouted as she placed her hands over her heart.

Maggie grimaced and admitted, "It's not like I had any big plans. I'm happy to help."

Having heard the doorbell a few minutes earlier, Ryder trudged down the stairs to greet one of his favorite adults. Maggie seemed to speak his language and understand him in a way he was convinced his parents could not. His wrinkled t-shirt was half tucked into his jeans and the flannel shirt over it was disheveled. He managed his best, feeble 13 year old smile and greeted Maggie by extending his hand and saying, "Hi, Aunt Maggie." The handshake turned into a hug, with Ryder providing the first transitional step.

"Ryder, you dressed up for the holiday, huh?" Maggie teased. Because she was not his parent, Ryder actually chuckled lightly in response.

Amelia commented, "Before we leave, you might want to brush that hair, Ry. And your teeth, come to think of it."

Widening his eyes in embarrassment, he glared at Amelia and whispered, "Mom!"

"And shower. Go take a shower right now, then we'll go. You have time if you're quick," she whispered even though Maggie could clearly hear her. Turning back to Maggie as Ryder headed upstairs, Amelia explained, "Thirteen year old boys…they either smell horrible or spend hours in the shower."

"I don't want any more information than that," Maggie kidded.

"Me either," Amelia laughed.

Owen was just waking up when Maggie rang the doorbell, so he hadn't heard her arrive. The open hallway that stood above the living room was boundaried by horizontal bars rather than a wall. Walking along it wearing only his boxers and multi-directional bedhead, Owen called down, "Mia, where's my dry cleaning? Have you seen it?"

"Umm… hey there, Owen," Maggie quipped. Owen offered an awkward wave and embarrassed expression.

Amelia grinned and explained, "Did you check the hook behind the door, Sexy?"

Blushing and walking back to his bedroom, Owen checked and discovered the clothes. Rather than appear in the hallway for an encore, he yelled, "Found it. See you at work."

As soon as Ryder returned with his overnight bag and his gear, he and Amelia were on their way to the stadium. Amelia let Maggie know, "I'm out of here. Owen and I are driving separately tonight."

"Don't your shifts begin and end at the same time?" Maggie inquired with confusion.

"In theory, yes. But I'm dropping off Ryder. Besides, it ends up being a mess if one of us gets stuck in surgery," Amelia shrugged. She hugged Maggie and hollered, "Girls, time to go to dinner with Aunt Maggie. And be good!"

The girls ran to Maggie eagerly. With a smirk, Maggie motioned her head toward the front door, "Let's go. I'm hungry." She and the girls called out a goodbye to the half-dressed Daddy upstairs.

Owen heard the cars drive away and realized he had the house to himself – a rare event. Nolan and Lissa should have arrived in Canada around lunchtime, but he hadn't heard from them. Then again, Owen considered, he would probably be the last person Nolan would connect with given the tense words between the two just before the kids left. Even if he was frustrated or disappointed, though, that didn't preclude Owen from adoring his older son and caring about him. Taking a chance and knowing his text might be ignored, Owen typed out a message to Nolan that read, _Wondering about your trip and feeling crappy about how we said goodbye. Got through customs? Into the house ok? What's it like to be there?_

While he awaited a response, Owen strolled through the house with no particular agenda. He turned off lights and picked up stray toys, then folded a blanket left crumpled on the sofa. The day had been busy and a little tense as he and Amelia attempted to get everyone packed and out the door. Having time alone helped him center and slow down.

Owen's phone sounded and a text from Nolan arrived: _Customs was no prob. Jessica let us in the house after kissing me and hugging me nonstop. Feels like home here – peaceful. Liss loves it so far._

Smiling, Owen was relieved to receive an update. As he re-read Nolan's message, another text arrived: _Would be good to talk. Maybe you could call if you have time tonight or tomorrow?_

 _Absolutely, will try my best. Love you, N,_ Owen responded with a sigh of relief.

Relieved to hear from his eldest, Owen hopped in the shower and let the steaming water pour over his head. He stood in the wet heat with his eyes closed and tried to unwind before work. New Year's Eve at the hospital was sure to be chaotic. While the possibility was a longshot, Owen yearned to have time alone at the hospital to catch up with Amelia. Life had been so busy that he felt disconnected from her.

An hour later, when Owen arrived on the floor, the ER was slammed but not frantic. Kepner had managed the rush of incoming patients – with everything from an ear infection to severe injuries from a car crash – with great skill.

"Chief," April piped up with joy when she saw Owen. Her replacement had arrived and her shift was finally over.

"Lots going on but it looks under control, Kepner. What do you have for me?" Owen commented. April proceeded to provide a thorough overview of the patients, consults, and waiting room status. After emphasizing her concern about two particular situations, she handed Owen the iPad in her hand and said goodnight.

As he reviewed the specifics of one chart, Owen called out, "What's the story with the neuro consult in Exam 3? Why the delay?"

"Your wife hasn't arrived yet and Nelson left the second his shift ended without passing the baton," April explained from a few steps away.

Even though Amelia had been planning to drop Ryder off at the stadium, she should have arrived at least 30 minutes before Owen. Before following up on her status, Owen checked in with the most critical cases to ensure proper treatment was underway. Stepping outside an exam room, Owen faced the wall and sent a text to Amelia, _You're not here. Everything ok?_

 _Long story. On my way. I'm fine,_ came her response.

"Chief! We have an MVA, two minutes out. Driver unconscious, CPR underway. Passenger still at the scene, occupants of the other vehicle also in bound – ETA 7 and 10 minutes," a nurse called out.

As he quickened his step, Owen headed toward the shelves with yellow trauma robes, ordering, "Page cardio. Any details on ages or injuries?"

"No, sir," the nurse frowned.

"Well that makes it an adventure," Owen mumbled under his breath. "Round up at least two residents per patient and… who's here tonight? I need another doctor."

"Dr. Karev and Dr. Torres," the nurse shared.

"Call them both. We'll punt. I'm headed to the bay," Owen announced as he ran outside. He paced back and forth and rubbed his gloved hands together in an attempt to stay warm.

When the first ambulance backed in, the paramedic began with the bullets, "35 year old male driver, a doctor was at the scene and began CPR, found unconscious, airbag deployed, paddles used on board. It doesn't look good, Doc." He opened the door and spotted Amelia throwing her weight into each chest compression. A small trace of blood dotted her forehead and a two inch scratch near her jawbone appeared to be swelling.

"Mia," Owen put his hand on her back as she hopped out of the ambulance and continued compressions.

Panting and focusing on the task at hand as she ran alongside the gurney, Amelia instructed, "We need cardio, STAT."

Owen pushed the gurney toward Trauma One. "Mia, are you ok? You're banged up," he observed.

"I'm fine. This guy needs help," Amelia responded as she caught Owen's eye. When Karev entered the room, Owen the husband urged Amelia step out to be examined. She argued with him and insisted on staying until he pulled rank as Chief and ordered her out of the room. Meanwhile, he and Karev frantically worked to stabilize the patient.

In an exam room, Amelia responded to a text from Nolan then submitted to a brief exam by Edwards. A nurse led the police into the room as Stephanie palpated and studied Amelia's forehead.

Amelia explained to the police, "I was two or three cars behind him when the driver flew through a red light at the intersection, striking another car who had a green light. Everyone who stopped rushed to the ones who had been hit and ignored the driver, who was in far more serious shape."

"If you were that far back…" the officer began. Changing his wording, he continued, "Tell me about the marks on your face."

Amelia shook her head and rolled her eyes, "I keep telling everyone this is nothing. When I poked my head into his car, I bumped my forehead and then something on his visor caught my cheek. No impact, just stupidity."

As she completed the sentence, Owen burst into the room with worry. He walked past the officers as if they weren't there and ignored Edwards as he approached Amelia, quickly glanced at her forehead, and then studied her eyes. "Mia, are you ok?"

"How's the driver?" Amelia inquired as she ignored Owen's words.

"In surgery. Touch and go, but there's hope," he nodded. "But you… what happened?"

"Excuse me, Sir, we're in the process of obtaining a statement," one of the officers respectfully interrupted.

The protective husband stood directly in front of the officer and stared him down. "Then finish your work and leave my wife in peace," he growled before stepping back to the exam bed where Amelia sat. He sat next to her and conferred with Edwards, observing, "Let's have plastics check out that lac. The scratch is superficial – although antibiotics wouldn't hurt. Who knows what scratched her – could've been a stray pen or protruding wire or just about anything." Edwards nodded and stepped out to page plastics.

"What's your hunch – was the driver under the influence?" the officer pressed.

"How in the hell would I know?" Amelia retorted. "He could've been changing the radio station and glanced up just in time to notice he'd run a red light. Maybe his foot stuck on the accelerator. I'm not qualified to venture a guess based on what I saw."

"Let's worry about records and information later, Officers," Owen interjected. "You've got what you need for now." Owen stood and non-verbally ushered the duo out of the room. Turning back to Amelia, he grasped her hand and declared, "After plastics takes a look, you need to go lie down. I'll find neuro coverage for the night." He brushed her hair with his fingers, then wrapped his arm around Amelia and rested his head atop hers.

"I'm fine, Owen, really," Amelia insisted. "Don't go ruining someone else's New Year's Eve by calling them in. It's a little bump."

"I heard from Nolan and Lissa. Sounds like everything is going well," Owen offered as he held his wife.

"He and I texted back and forth too. I'm glad he's there. It was time," Amelia shared. "I need to talk to you about Ryder." With half a chuckle, she added, "And I guess about Livs… kind of old news now, but you and I haven't had much time to connect lately. Life has been so frantic."

Owen grimaced and questioned, "Want to talk now or wait? I'm here now. Who knows where I'll end up the rest of the night."

Beginning with news from the Hawaii trip, Amelia shared the conversation she and Olivia had shared. Owen accepted Olivia's self-understanding without pause. Amelia was relieved that he responded as if she had just stated, "By the way, one of the kids is left-handed," instead of, "By the way, our daughter likes girls." His only concern was how to best support Livs.

Jackson stepped in as the couple's conversation about Olivia was fading. He determined sutures weren't necessary, but offered them if Amelia felt otherwise. Both she and Owen agreed with Jackson. He irrigated the wound and applied some skin glue before leaving her with an ice bag and stepping out. "Rest awhile before heading back to the floor," he advised. "Everything is probably fine, but let's watch for double vision, concussion, that sort of thing just to be sure. I'll clear you in a couple hours if everything looks good."

Overly attentive, Owen walked Amelia over to an on-call room and lay beside her. He was thankful for the lull in the pit that gave him the chance to be with her. Caressing her arm and nuzzling her hair, he soaked in her presence silently. After snuggling quietly for a while, Owen whispered, "You wanted to tell me something about Ry?"

There was no response. Amelia had fallen asleep in Owen's arms. News about Ryder would wait for another time.


	35. Chapter 35 - Mom! I'm Home

**Chapter 35**

 **A Pivotal Year – Mom?! I'm home**

 **Nolan 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Friday, December 31**

Nolan bounced to his feet when Lissa alerted him that the ferry was about to arrive in Victoria. He gazed out the window with a satisfied smile, then turned and motioned her toward him. Placing his arm around her shoulders, he began describing the sites as the ferry neared its dock.

"Over there, that's the Empress Hotel," he pointed out. With a half laugh, he shared, "My mom used to drag me there for high tea at least once a year. She thought it was a great way for me to practice being on my best behavior."

"Did it work?" Lissa inquired with intrigue.

"She did it year after year, so I guess so," he smirked. "Right before she died, she had Ryder come along too. He was 7. It was probably best that the Empress never hosted the Tremblay's for tea again." Lissa giggled, imagining Ryder all dressed up and bursting with energy. Nolan pointed to his left and explained, "Our house is just behind there. You can't see it from here, but you can see the ferry and the water from the bedroom windows of the house. I'll show you."

"It's so beautiful here, Nole," Lissa affirmed as she observed a new spark come alive from deep within Nolan.

With increasing enthusiasm, Nolan explained, "One night, we'll go from the house to the walkway along the water – you won't believe the lights. It's gorgeous."

With surprise, Lissa piped up, "Look, a sea plane!" The couple watched as the plane glided smoothly onto the water and made its way to a dock.

"Once we dock," Nolan explained, "we'll catch a cab over to the house. It's not very far, but it's cold and windy. Hauling our stuff and walking wouldn't be fun. We'll be at the house soon." The couple retrieved their bags and stood in line at the ferry's exit waiting to disembark.

Nolan was correct, the taxi ride was brief. He became less talkative and more pensive as they came closer to the house. With love, Lissa held his hand as he gazed out the window wistfully. He recalled sites and memories he hadn't even realized he'd forgotten over the years.

Lissa's heart sank as she noticed Nolan slowly closing his eyes as the taxi neared a fire station. She asked softly, "Your dad?"

"Yeah," Nolan grinned as his glistening eyes caught hers. He squeezed her hand and returned to studying the sites out the window.

Two minutes later, the driver pulled in front of the house and announced with a friendly tone, "Here we are." The driver stopped the car and hopped out to fetch the bags. Absently, Nolan handed Lissa his wallet as he slowly approached the fence bordering the property. As if the scene were fragile, he carefully placed his hand on a fence post and stared at the house.

Moments after the taxi departed, Jessica, the neighbor who had watched Olivia the day Kayla died and the one who had helped Owen with the house over the years, came dashing over. With wide arms, she embraced him and celebrated, "Nolan Tremblay… my darling! Look at you, precious. My how you've grown." She leaned back momentarily and held Nolan's cheeks in her hands, "You… you are the spitting image of your father. My goodness."

"Jessica, I'm guessing," Nolan ventured with a sly smile. She laughed in response as Nolan swung his arm around Lissa and introduced the two.

"What a lovely, lovely girl you are, darling," Jessica exclaimed as she hugged Lissa. She spoke to Nolan over Lissa's shoulder, "Your mum would love her." Nolan grinned with joy as he heard the words.

Jessica beamed and fished around in her coat pocket. "Let's see, I put the key in here… yes, here it is." Holding it out toward Nolan, she offered, "Here's your key. I put two on there – one for each of you. How are you feeling, Nolan? You ready to go in? Need a minute? Anything I can do?"

"I'm good, Jessica. Really," he stated confidently.

"Then I'll head back home. I really want to chat while you're here. Come by or call me," she urged. Nolan nodded, then grabbed the bags. Lissa followed hesitantly behind.

"Do you want me to give you some time alone?" she wondered.

Nolan turned and held out his hand. With a hint of anxiety, he clarified, "Actually, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't leave my side." She grasped his hand and he unlocked the door. After inhaling an enormous breath, Nolan opened the door and stepped in.

He chuckled as he set the bags down and admitted, "I just stopped myself from yelling, 'Mom?! I'm home.' How weird is that?" Lissa smiled softly in response. Nolan stopped to read and respond to a text from Owen before beginning the tour.

"This is the living room, obviously," Nolan explained as he pulled Lissa to the next room. "The formal dining room is over here. We never used it. The fancy furniture sat and gathered dust while we ate our meals at the kitchen table… and here's the kitchen." He continued walking to the end of the room, where he peered out the window at the back yard and mused, "Lots of soccer games have been played back there."

They made their way up the stairs, peeking first into Ryder's room and then Olivia's. The spaces had been frozen in time, barely changed from how they appeared nearly seven years prior. "Bathroom is over there," Nolan pointed out, "and there's another in Mom and Dad's room." He stopped cold and his body froze in the hallway. Looking at Lissa, Nolan leaned against the hallway wall and disclosed, "I'm not sure which room to choose next."

"Take your time," Lissa suggested.

"Let's… uh… grab a snack downstairs," Nolan muttered as he wrung his hands.

They settled onto the worn out, over stuffed sofa and Nole immediately pulled his shoes off and threw his feet onto the coffee table. "That was probably the hardest change moving into Mom and Dad's house… it was so fancy and pristine. We weren't allowed to throw off our shoes and leave them lying around and we definitely weren't allowed to put our feet on the furniture." He paused and chuckled, "It was like we moved from a kid-house to a grown up house… I love this space. It's comfortable here." Nolan leaned over and kissed Lissa repeatedly, running his hand along the outside of her sweater and pulling her close.

He leaned back for a moment and remembered, "Oh, hey. Snacks? You have anything we can eat in that magic purse of yours?"

"Lemme see," Lissa stated as she began to rummage through her bag. She set a bag on the coffee table, followed by her wallet and a makeup bag. Victorious, she announced, "Two protein bars!" With a frown, she added, "But nothing to drink. Not even a bottle of water. Sorry."

Nolan grabbed one of the bars and unwrapped it. He took a bite, then offered the bar to Lissa. Together, they shared both bars which barely classified as a full snack.

"What's in here?" Nolan inquired as he grabbed the plain paper bag on the table.

"No idea," Lissa shrugged. "That's the bag Amma gave me when she was weirding out."

After he opened it and peeked inside, Nolan burst into hysterical laughter, "Mom gave this to you? Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Lissa answered flatly.

"No way," Nolan roared with disbelief.

Lissa leaned over and attempted to grab the bag, which Nolan held out of her reach by extending his arm, "What's in it? Lemme see?"

"You'll think I was in on it," Nolan cackled. He was laughing so hard that tears fell from his eyes.

Standing up with a playful grin, Lissa headed toward the kitchen and called back, "You're weird, Nolan James. W-E-I-R-D."

Opening the fridge, Lissa was thrilled to see a note from Jessica. Jessica had stocked the kitchen with drinks and snacks. After grabbing a couple sodas and a bag of cookies, Lissa returned to the living room. Stuffing a handful of circus animal cookies in her mouth, Lissa came upon the still-laughing Nolan who was typing out a text. She inquired, "Hey, can we eat in here?"

"Sure," Nolan replied, barely able to speak through his laughter.

Lissa handed him a soda and the cookie bag, asking, "What's in the bag from Amma?"

"Nothing," Nolan smiled as he shook his head and sent his text.

"She gave it to me, I should get to see the contents," Lissa teased as she climbed over Nolan and attempted to grab the bag.

"It's for both of us," Nolan sputtered, "and it's for later." His phone sounded and he laughed at Amelia's response, which read, _A mama has to consider the possibilities. ;-)_

"What's that mean?" Lissa wondered aloud as she read over Nolan's shoulder.

Nolan grabbed a few cookies and slid them into Lissa's mouth, "Later, Blondie. Later."

"Why?" she begged with a mouthful of cookies.

"Because you speak with your mouth full," he taunted as he began to tickle her. After she squirmed and giggled enough, Nolan kissed her forehead and informed her, "Do you mind if I go up to my old room alone for a while?"

"Not at all," Lissa responded.

When Nolan stepped away, Lissa surveyed the space. Spotting a photo album on a shelf across the room, Lissa retrieved it and began to thumb through the album. For years, she had heard that Olivia was a replica of their mother. When Lissa saw pictures of Kayla, she was stunned by the resemblance. Further back in the album, she found pictures of Blake. He was a muscular, broader version of Nolan whose eyes most certainly held Ryder's twinkle of precociousness. Lissa considered Blake's expressions and apparent demeanor, concluding that he had been a vibrant, fun-loving, and playful man. More often than not, Blake was laughing in the photos. Kayla's dreamy eyes seemed set on him in any picture that included both of them. Their love for one another exuded off the pages and into the air.

The final picture Lissa studied showed Blake, Kayla, Nolan and Ryder posing in front of the house. Ryder, all of 3, was beaming with his mouth wide open. He was attempting to climb out of his dad's strong arm as Blake laughed. Blake's other arm was around Kayla. Nolan, 7, was standing in front of both parents and holding Kayla's hand. He was grinning dutifully. Such a happy, young, little family that ended up so torn apart by the unexpected. Lissa found herself sobbing, grieving for the family as a whole even though much good had occurred since both accidental deaths.

Meanwhile, Nolan incrementally opened the door to his parents' bedroom. Feeling as if he was sneaking into a space where he wasn't allowed to be, he quietly stepped in and gazed around. First, he let himself sit on the bed. Memories of being sick and being allowed to recuperate in the "big bed" caused him to smile. He remembered Saturday morning pillow fights with his parents, and later with Kayla and Ryder. They would laugh and giggle together – a wonderful way to kick off most weekends.

Nolan wandered around the rest of the room and the attached bathroom. The dresser drawers were empty; Kayla's clothes had been donated long ago. Her makeup drawer and the tiny drawer beside it that used to hold Olivia's "make up," were empty but stained with stray powder and lipstick that had worked its way into the crevices. The walk in closet was locked. Nolan recalled that family possessions were stored there the year that Amelia took the kids to the house for Christmas. He wondered where the key might be. Overall, he loved being in the space his parents once shared. The memories were happy ones, and he sensed the love that had existed between them years ago.

With a strange sense of fear, Nolan headed toward his childhood bedroom. He had no idea why he felt so hesitant to visit the space. Nothing horrible had happened there. Yet for some reason, walking into the space stopped him in his tracks. As he checked out his surroundings, the same chill he'd felt on the ferry overtook him. A heavy, burdensome weight fell onto his shoulders as he once again realized how he had lived his life in layers from the time Blake died.

The outer layer, the one he presented to the world, put forth a well-behaved and thoughtful oldest child who spent a great deal of time discerning what was expected of him. He focused on bearing whatever burdens or pain he could, so his mother's life and sibling's lives would be easier for them.

The inner layer, hidden from everyone including Nolan himself, held pain, grief, and a lost childhood. There, his fears and doubts resided. The inner layer was uncomfortable and uncontrollable. It hurt. As much as possible, Nolan lived in the outer layer where he could manage and sculpt his reality.

Chuckling as he spotted a Nerf ball, Nolan sprawled out on his bed and began to throw the ball up to the ceiling. His habits and methods of working through challenge had begun in the space where he lay. He caught the ball as it descended after each toss. Through the repetitive routine, he leaned into his thoughts.

In the silence, Nolan made out a faint sound of someone crying. At first, he dismissed it and convinced himself that he was imagining it. As it continued, he could no longer deny it.

"Lissa?" he called out strongly.

She sniffled and cleared her throat before responding, "Yeah?"

"Can you come up here, Blondie?" he requested. As she ascended the stairs, she told him she was on her way. Nolan smiled when she appeared in his doorway. She attempted to stay focused on Nolan rather than gaze around the room. "What's up, Babe?" Nolan inquired.

"Nothing," she lied.

"Come over here," he invited. As she came closer, he could tell she'd been crying. "Are you ok?" he asked as he opened his arm and motioned for her to join him on the bed.

"It's silly," she responded as she caved in on herself.

"Not if you're crying, it's not. What's up?" Nolan pushed.

Lissa snuggled into Nolan's chest and let her eyes wander around the room as she shared, "I was looking at an old photo album that had pictures of you, Ryder and your parents. Your mom and dad seemed cheery and joyful. Your dad was laughing in almost every shot. When I started thinking about all the loss, about their young deaths, about the three of you, I fell apart."

"Aww…" Nolan responded as a tear slid from his eye and down his temple toward his ear. He leaned over and kissed Lissa's head.

After a few minutes of silence, Lissa observed, "I don't know how you're holding it all together, Nolan. Isn't this intense for you?"

He inhaled slowly and audibly, admitting, "It is. I don't know how to explain it. It's almost like I'm observing my past through someone else's eyes. So far, the experience has been like reading a book that's finally put words to some of the unexplainable feelings I've had for a long time." He paused as he heard his own words. With his voice cracking, he added, "It's been one epiphany after another all day. Mostly good, you know? But, yeah, it… it hurts too."

Gently, Lissa wrapped her arm around Nolan's torso and squeezed. "It's ok to hurt," she whispered.

"That's what I need to do," he sputtered as he began to cry. He wrapped his arms around her and poured out the sorrow and pain that had been hidden deep inside for years. Rather than recoil from the sight of Nolan's seldom-seen vulnerability, Lissa felt she'd been entrusted with a newly-unearthed treasure map that led to the depths of Nolan's soul.

The connection, the trust, and the synergy between the young couple deepened as each tear fell. Nolan finally allowed to need someone in ways he'd never permitted before. The perpetual helper had opened himself to also be the helpee.

Although neither Nolan nor Lissa knew, the dynamic at play between them mimicked one that had taken place down the hall between Blake and Kayla just days before Blake's death.


	36. Chapter 36 - Owen and the Terrible Day

**Chapter 36**

A Pivotal Year – Owen and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

 **Nolan 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Saturday, January 1**

After ending the previous year at the hospital by working the night before, having to work on the first day of the new year didn't seem just. Nonetheless, with the volume of patients expected, Owen and many of the attendings were reporting to the hospital on the Saturday night holiday. After a break from 6am – 3pm, Amelia had worked all afternoon and would return home that evening. Owen's shift would overlap hers by a few hours and he would be at the hospital overnight.

Heading to his closet, Owen pondered whether to wear a shirt and tie or stick to scrubs that night. After so much time on the floor the day before, he was backed up on paperwork. If he ended up in his office for most of the shift, a suit was a better option. Knowing the shift could head in multiple directions, he decided to wear a suit to the hospital and change into scrubs there if he ended up focusing on patient care. After grabbing a crisp white shirt he had just retrieved from the dry cleaners, he slipped it on and began to button it. The third button popped off and bounced down into the darkness of the lower closet.

"Dammit," Owen grumbled. He balanced on his knees fumbling around with his hand hoping to feel the button. Having no luck, he stepped out for a flashlight and returned to the floor of the closet. Flashing the light around the perimeter, Owen discovered that the button had made its way across the closet and had landed by Amelia's clothes.

Crawling over to the escaped button, Owen chuckled to himself. He imagined he was quite a site as he crawled around the closet floor with a dress shirt half-buttoned and a towel still around his waist. The button had landed by a paper bag that was hidden away in the corner. Wondering what it was, Owen grasped hold of the bag and dragged it out into the open. Sitting on the floor, he opened it and discovered Ryder's pot and paraphernalia. Amelia had completely forgotten to deal with the bag and had not yet had an opportunity to tell Owen about Ryder's drug use.

"What the hell?" Owen sounded slowly. "Amelia Shepherd…what the hell are you doing? So now it's pot? Oxy was too strong, alcohol was a problem, so now you're trying this? How long has this been going on?" After exhaling nearly every bit of air from his lungs, Owen set the bag aside and finished getting ready. He selected another shirt, one with all its buttons, and slipped on a pair of grey pants. After noticing a spot on the first tie he put on, he changed ties. Even getting dressed presented challenges on the first day of the New Year.

With the bag in hand, Owen made his way out the door and into the Boxster. The ER was a madhouse when he arrived. Interns were attempting unsuccessfully to properly triage the patients waiting to be seen, patients on gurneys lined the hallway, and drunks had been placed next to children in the curtain area. Owen fumed at the pandemonium and immediately assumed control.

"Hey, Handsome," Amelia quipped with a grin as she strode by her husband at the main desk. With a quick and disappointed smirk, Owen caught her eye and walked off. _What the hell?_ Amelia thought to herself before proceeding to the consult in Exam One.

The patient in Exam One was altered and Amelia was concerned. Realizing no residents or nurses were available to transport the patient, Amelia began to accompany the patient to CT herself. When she arrived at the elevator, Owen was repeatedly and impatiently pressing the button.

"You know, the elevator comes just as quickly if you only press the button once, Chief," she teased, hoping to lighten the intense expression on his face.

"I need you down here. We have multiple neuro consults waiting," he sighed.

Amelia lowered her chin and peered at her husband, stating plainly, "Then find a nurse or resident to transport my patient."

With a paternalistic tone, Owen instructed, "Dr. Shepherd, I need you to focus on _your_ job, not attempt to carry out tasks not assigned to you."

Stepping aside from her patient, Amelia walked within inches of her husband and mumbled through clenched teeth, "I'm the Head of Neuro. I'm capable of prioritizing my own workload and certainly do not need you micromanaging me. Knock it off."

The elevator door opened and Amelia wheeled her patient inside. Owen, headed up a few floors to check on the status of a surgery in progress, stepped inside as well. He stepped to the side and faced forward. Perhaps it was better to not even interact with Amelia until he had her alone and could tell her about the bag he'd found.

When the elevator stopped at Owen's floor, he stepped out and turned around. Right before the doors closed, he leaned in and advised as if he were speaking to an intern, "No surgeries – neuro or otherwise – without my consent tonight. Do not go near an OR without my knowledge."

Embarrassed to be bossed around in front of a patient, Amelia raged internally. The patient glanced up at her doctor quizzically. Amelia shook her head and shrugged, offering, "I guess it's the Chief's turn for a bad day." She wasn't about to admit that she was married to the over-protective ogre the patient had witnessed.

About 90 minutes later, the ER experienced a lull. Amelia, who had made her way through her list of consults, excused herself and headed upstairs to check on post-ops. As she rounded the corner and approached the OR board, she witnessed Owen erasing her name from every surgery she had scheduled for the following day. He replaced her initial with Derek's in each case.

"Is there a problem?" Amelia questioned with intensity as she rested her hands on her hips.

"Updating the board, Doctor. That's all," Owen stated without removing his eyes from the listing.

"Why are you erasing my name?" she inquired evenly.

"We'll talk later, Mia," Owen insisted as he gazed at his wife with disappointment.

"No," Amelia countered as she raised her voice slightly, "You will explain your ridiculous actions to me here and now, Dr. Hunt." The staff and doctors nearby gazed over.

"Don't do this, Mia," Owen warned softly with a shaking head as he gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "Not now… not here."

"Get your hand off of me," Amelia growled as she worked out from Owen's grasp. "Tell me what the hell you're doing and why."

"Let's go in here," Owen suggested as he attempted to guide his wife to a nearby on call room.

"Let's not," Amelia resisted.

"Amy…" Derek said gently as he approached.

"You and your wife are supposed to be watching half of my children. What's going on here?" Amelia questioned with folded arms as she glanced back and forth between the two men.

"Go in the on-call room," Derek urged quietly. He stared at her until she looked away, then encouraged with a hint of insistence, "Amy…go." With obvious fury, Amelia turned and did as her brother suggested.

After Owen followed Amelia into the room and closed the door, Amelia loudly unleashed her pent up rage, "Who the hell do you think you are?"

Leaning against the wall, Owen responded calmly, "I'm the Chief and I'm your concerned husband."

As she paced back and forth like a caged panther, Amelia's half opened eyes held contempt mixed with confusion. "What's that supposed to mean? What do you mean my 'concerned husband'?"

"Mia…" Owen slowly pronounced.

"Don't Mia me, Owen Hunt," Amelia seethed. "Why is my brother here?"

"He's assuming tonight's neuro cases," came the emotionless response.

"Are we going to play 20 questions or are you going to tell me what is going on?" she bellowed with folded arms and a scowl.

"Are you going to stop yelling?" he sought to confirm.

"What. Is. Going. On.?" Amelia inquired with a clenched jaw. "Tell me why my name is off the board… _Now._ "

With a sigh, Owen slouched. His saddened, glistening eyes accompanied his heartbroken tone, "I found your stash, Mia."

"What are you talking about?" Amelia wondered aloud as she tilted her head and furrowed her brows.

"The bag. In our closet. How long have you been smoking?" Owen expressed as he melted into a seated position on a single bed.

"The bag in our closet? The one with a bong, a pipe and some weed?"

Owen pursed his lips and looked up at his still-infuriated wife. "Has it been too much lately? Maybe we need more help at home."

"It's not mine," Amelia retorted with hostility.

"Mia…" Owen shook his head. "You don't need to deny it with me, ok? We'll do whatever is necessary to get you the help you need."

"You son of a bitch," Amelia screamed. "You find drugs and automatically assume they're mine? Then you involve my brother in your unfounded hunches?"

Returning to a stone calm presence, Owen pushed, "Are you trying to assert that it belongs to Lucas? Or Anna, right? It's Anna's?"

"Ryder," Amelia disclosed without emotion.

With a huff, Owen tore his surgery cap off and ran his hand through his air. "Are you really throwing one of our children under the bus to avoid being caught red-handed? Is that an addict thing because I can't believe the Mia I know would try to blame one of her own children?"

"Really? Because I can't believe my husband is so quick to doubt me," Amelia articulated as her voice cracked.

Mostly to himself, but aloud, Owen sputtered, "I'm in over my head here. Maybe I should just take you up to mental health."

"Test. My. Pee.," Amelia demanded. "Follow me into the stall and watch me to make sure I don't cheat. Right now. C'mon."

"Mia, don't do this to yourself," Owen frowned with resignation and embarrassment on her behalf.

"Get off your ass and grab a drug kit. Do a blood test, if you prefer. If I come up dirty, slam me into mental health or haul me to rehab. If I come up clean, begging and pleading for forgiveness might be your best bet."

Without a word, Owen stood and attempted to put an arm around his wife before she hissed, "Do not touch me. Watch me, fine. Test me, no problem. Touch me? Nuh uh. No way." Quickly, Owen pulled his arm back and put his hand in his pocket. The two walked with purpose to the ER. Proceeding to an area where Owen could draw her blood, Amelia slammed her arm onto the small counter and glared at him.

Owen sat on a rolling stool. Uncharacteristically, he shook from all of the emotions he held inside. "Don't try to stick me with that unsteady hand," Amelia sneered as she grabbed the needle from him and drew her own blood. With surprise, Owen rolled back and watched his determined wife fill the vial and complete the process. He was impressed with her skill, yet also heartbroken. His assumption was that she learned how to smoothly stick herself during her battle with injected oxy.

With only one hand available to wrap her bandage, Owen reached out and softly suggested, "Can I help?" Shrugging one shoulder, Amelia agreed. Owen, still shaking slightly, wrapped her arm and stroked his thumb lightly along her skin.

"So do you want pee too or will blood be enough?" Amelia snapped.

With a hoarse and unsteady voice, Owen responded, "This is fine. I'll… uh… I'll be right back." He held the vial up to explain that he was headed to the lab. Locking his gaze on Amelia, his puppy dog eyes communicated his angst.

Without any gentleness whatsoever, Amelia barked, "Then go. What are you waiting for?"

Owen hurried to the lab, relieved to discover that there was no line. "Run this immediately, please. Full tox screen. I'll wait for the results," he explained to the person at the counter.

"I don't see a patient name, Dr. Hunt," the clerk pointed out.

"Jane Doe. I'll authorize the charge to Charity Care," Owen clarified.

As he waited in a chair, Owen worked his way through his emails. Since Ryder was home alone after a day of playing soccer, Owen sent a text to check in. Ryder responded promptly, reassuring his dad that he had eaten dinner and was behaving.

"Dr. Hunt?" the clerk called out.

Owen glanced up at his phone with raised eyebrows, "It's ready?"

"Absolutely clean, Doctor," the clerk announced as he handed Owen a read out. "Do you want me to run it again to confirm?"

"No…no," Owen shook his head. As he stepped away, he mumbled, "Thank you. That won't be necessary." Each step toward the ER was full of both relief and regret. Mia's blood tested out drug-free, now he had to face the reality that he'd been quick to conclude otherwise.

As he stepped in the room, Owen began his request for forgiveness, "Mia, look, I owe you an apol…" Looking around the space, he discovered he was alone. Amelia had left a note for him that read,

 _Thank Derek for taking my surgeries – it will be lovely to have some time off. Feel free to post my tox screen results throughout the hospital, so all can rest assured that the problematic addict remains clean. I'll leave bedding on the guest bed. You can tell the kids you didn't want to risk waking me up when you returned home._


	37. Chapter 37 - Surprise!

**Chapter 37**

 **A Pivitol Year – Surprise!**

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Anna and Ria almost 6, Lucas 4 ½**

 **Sunday, January 2**

Nolan slipped out of bed on the morning of Lissa's birthday and let her sleep in. He went for a run, soaked in the crisp winter air, and stopped to chat with Jessica. When he returned to the house, he peeked in and found Lissa still sleeping. Heading to the bathroom down the hall, Nolan showered and mentally ran through his list of surprises planned for the day.

With a towel around his waist and his hair askew, Nolan tiptoed into the Master Bedroom. As he rummaged through his suitcase, Lissa stirred and softly inquired, "Looks like my birthday present is waiting for me."

Raising his eyebrows and smirking, Nolan made his way onto the bed and crawled from its foot to the pillows. Balancing his weight on his forearm, Nolan reached out and traced the edge of Lissa's chin before kissing her and whispering, "Happy Birthday."

"Come back to bed. It's too early to be awake and showered," she invited as she ran her fingers through his wet hair.

"I have a day of adventure planned for us, Blondie," he disclosed with enthusiasm.

With a feigned whiny moan of disappointment, Lissa pouted, "Can't we have an adventure here?"

Chuckling, Nolan slid his arm under Lissa's back and pulled her onto him, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," she giggled in response as they kissed. Locking her eyes on his, Lissa reached down and loosened the towel around Nolan's waist.

Nolan slid under the sheets and teased, "You have plans of your own for the day, huh?"

"I'm ready," she whispered softly as her finger traced his chest muscles.

Missing the meaning of the words he'd yearned to hear for years, Nolan lowered his brows and joked, "For what? Breakfast in bed?"

Slapping her palm on her forehead, she sighed, "Oh, Nolan!" With gentle sarcasm, she quipped, "Yes. For breakfast in bed." She giggled as she shook her head in disbelief at her brilliant boyfriend's cluelessness.

Not catching the nuances, Nolan disclosed, "Good…because I have quite the meal in mind." As he stood and threw on boxer briefs, he glanced over his shoulder as he arranged himself, claiming, "You're killing me, Blondie."

"I'm trying not to," she protested with surprise as she sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees.

Nolan scoffed and instructed, "Wait right there." Complying, Lissa fell back onto the pillows and let her mind wander until his return.

Twenty minutes later, a tray with eggs, sausage, fruit, and crumpets appeared in Nolan's hands.

"Check you out," Lissa praised with applause as she pulled herself up and leaned her back against the headboard. He sat by her side as they nibbled and chatted.

"Ok, Princess," Nolan stated as breakfast came to a close, "I'm going to run you a bath with all kinds of girly oils and bubbles." He kissed her then made good on his promise. He stepped out a few minutes later and teased, "Whenever you're ready. Is it too early to walk all the way to the bathroom? Need to be carried?"

"Get the hell outta here, Trems," Lissa laughed as she threw a pillow at him. He winked and headed downstairs as Lissa strolled to the tub. She slowly eased in to the steaming water, eventually sinking fully into the soothing liquid.

Ninety minutes later, Lissa arrived downstairs fully dressed and ready for the day. Jessica had lent Nolan her car and was eager to hear his report once the day had unfolded.

Looking up from a magazine, Nolan grinned and confirmed, "Shall we go?"

"Sure," Lissa agreed, "go where?"

"For a spa day. I'm even humiliating myself by getting a couples massage," he announced as he concluded with a groan.

"You are adorable," Lissa cried out as she bounded over to Nolan and hugged him. "What are you going to do while I'm being treated like a queen?"

He leaned over and kissed her, reassuring, "Don't worry about me, Shorty. Today's all about you." Truth be told, he would be getting a haircut and working with a photographer who would be taking pictures of the two of them together later that afternoon.

The spa was perfect – accommodating and comfortable without being snobby. The couple began with the massage, which Nolan enjoyed far more than he cared to admit. Afterward, as Lissa received a facial, Nolan headed to the salon for a new hairstyle. He'd be away for a few hours, not reconnecting with Lissa until after her head to toe pampering and primping was complete.

As a surprise, her last step at the spa was to choose a new outfit. Nolan had spoken to a personal shopper and arranged to have five choices available. With starry eyes, Lissa selected a burgundy dress with ¾ sleeves that hit just above the knee. The satin fabric was completely covered in matching burgundy lace.

With her long ash blonde hair flowing past her shoulders in soft curls and falling over the shoulders of her new gown, Lissa waiting briefly for Nolan. She hunched that he was planning to take her to dinner eventually, but it was only 4pm. Without any idea what would occur between the current time and dinner, Lissa flipped through a magazine. A few moments later, she caught sight of a young man in a suit out of the corner of her eye. He stopped right in front of her and handed her a dozen roses.

Lissa looked up with surprise, taking in the site of her cleaned up college boy, "Nolan!" After she received the flowers, Nolan kept his hand extended and helped her stand.

With deep affection, he declared, "You look amazing, Liss. Just beautiful."

"You've outdone yourself, Trems. How in the world did you afford all this?" she inquired, not knowing about his wealth. Even after all these years, Nolan saw no reason to share the details of his wealth. Their love wasn't based on money and material possessions. Besides, with Lissa's humble upbringing, the trust fund would probably not impress her.

He grinned without answering then guided her by placing his hand on the small of her back. "One more treat before dinner," he revealed as he placed his coat around her shoulders and led her outside. The photographer's studio was two doors down. They stepped inside and Lissa's list of surprises grew.

"Pictures? Aww, Nole…" she smiled sweetly.

He raised his eyebrows playfully and sounded, "I thought you'd like this part." He complied with the various poses and smiles as both Lissa and the photographer brainstormed and shared ideas. Their favorite shot of the day ended up being a picture where they were encouraged to stare plainly into the camera. Unable to do so, the two broke into laughter as they turned toward one another. The skilled photographer caught the candid expressions and captured the moment.

With joy still radiating from their faces, the couple left the studio and took a taxi to The Empress. The beauty of the ornate hotel enthralled Lissa. She held on tightly to Nolan's arm as they entered the space and walked upon its marble floor. She gazed at the stunning décor and old world charm, noticing the elaborately trimmed Christmas trees in the hallway.

Dinner at the Empress Room was an amazing experience. They were seated at a table next to a roaring fire. A dim chandelier hung above their table and complemented the traditional atmosphere. Later, as the food melted in her mouth, Lissa leaned toward Nolan and expressed concern, "Nolan, this dinner alone is more money than you should've spent today."

"Stop worrying about the money," Nolan dismissed. "Enjoy yourself. Soak in the night, Princess. You only turn 18 once."

She slid another bite into her mouth, attempting to let go of her concerns and questions. "You really amaze me, Trems. This whole day…it's been beautiful."

"I love you, Larissa," he responded as he grasped her hand.

"I feel like 'I love you' doesn't even begin to cover my feelings for you," she admitted. "but I love you, too, Nolan."

After sharing a dessert and settling the bill, Nolan led Lissa to the main entrance and hailed a cab. Within moments, the young couple dressed to the nines snuggled and made out on the faded, over-stuffed sofa from Nolan's childhood.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" Lissa asked tentatively between kisses.

"You're ready to change into comfy PJs, huh?" he chuckled.

Lissa grasped Nolan's chin in her hand and made sure his eyes met hers, "No." She stood and stretched out her hand as she led him to the stairway.

She sat on the bed and pulled at his hand so he would do likewise. Leaning in to embrace her, Nolan kissed her but refused to let himself believe what he suspected she was communicating. Finally having sex hadn't been part of his intricate plans for the day, and he'd settled long ago on the possibility that he'd continue waiting for years.

With trembling hands, Lissa loosened Nolan's tie and began to unbutton his shirt as he slid off his jacket and let it fall to the ground. After the shirt fell and the tie was pulled over his head, Lissa lifted the t-shirt he'd worn underneath. Her hands stroked his chest and worked their way down to his waist.

Nolan reciprocated by reaching around and unzipping Lissa's dress. He paused and silently sought her permission before proceeding. With a soft smile, Lissa worked the sleeves off her arms and stepped out of the dress. Wearing only a bra and panties, Lissa motioned Nolan to stand. He stripped from the waist down and wrapped his arms tightly around her tiny body. Soon, her bra hit the floor and its matching panties landed on top of it. Nolan's hands held Lissa's ass firmly as the two continued to kiss.

"I should…uh…" Nolan sputtered.

"Yeah, do you have… something? You know…" Lissa stammered.

Without disclosing the source – there would be time to laugh about Amelia's thoughtful gift later – Nolan walked over to the dresser and grabbed the bag with condoms. When he turned around, Lissa was smiling at him in a way he'd never seen. Her expression was a combination of adoration and hesitation.

"You ok, Liss?" he stopped to ask.

"I'm more than ok. And, you… your body is remarkable," she praised.

He ran the few steps to her and picked her up in his arms. After twirling her around and claiming, "You've seen all this before, Blondie. Besides, my body's nothing compared to yours," Nolan gently set her on the mattress and resumed kissing her. He set the condom on the nightstand as he explored her body with his hands. After losing themselves in kissing and caressing, Lissa grasped Nolan and guided his waist toward hers. As he began to mount her, he forced himself to pause and confirm, "You sure, Baby? It's your call."

"I'm sure," she smiled.

As he fumbled to open the condom and slip it on, he questioned, "Scared?"

"A little," she admitted.

"Me too," he shared. "I'll… I'll be slow, ok? Tell me if it hurts."

She nodded before gasping as he entered her body slowly. A soft moan escaped from her throat.

"Oh Liss…" Nolan groaned as his eyelids flickered. They lost themselves in one another's bodies, experiencing their union in an entirely new way. After a few minutes of moving slowly, Nolan questioned again, "You still ok?"

With a giggle, Lissa urged, "Nole – I won't ask about how much money you spent today if you stop asking me if I'm ok."

Chuckling, he thrust deeper and agreed, "Deal."

As he concentrated his strength into each push, Lissa patted his back and shared, "Slow down a little, Trems." He had switched from a snail's pace to a roadrunner's without any transition.

"I… can't…" he sputtered as he climaxed. She watched his face with intrigue before he pulled out and fell onto his back next to her. With satisfied heavy breaths, Nolan commentated, "That was… beyond words."

Internally, a part of Lissa wondered if those brief moments were all there was to the experience of sex. Piper had warned her that the first time was its own strange phenomena. While Lissa had enjoyed the experience of connection and though his body inside hers had been mostly pleasant, she wasn't as blown away as Nolan appeared to be. She snuggled into Nolan's now-sweaty chest as his arm wrapped around her body. He pulled his head up and kissed her.

"I can't ask…." Nolan chuckled.

After softly slapping his gut, Lissa assured him, "It was nice."

"Nice?" he asked with surprise.

"I dunno… it felt lovely," she wiggled as she searched for words. "We were so connected. I loved that."

"Lovely?" Nolan questioned. Lissa softly tickled him in his most vulnerable spot just above his hip as she kissed his chest.

"Wanna go again?" Nolan flirted with the energy of an 18 year old.

Lissa crawled on top of him and began rotating her hips on his pelvic area. She kissed him and replied enthusiastically, "Yes!"

"Be careful up there," Nolan warned as he grabbed her waist and moved her off his unprotected erection. "Let me get this on before you go to town," he urged as he reached for another condom and put it on.

The second time lasted longer and gave Lissa more satisfaction. Less apprehensive than the first time, both of them relaxed into the interaction and did not overthink it. By the time their third round was over, her vision was as fuzzy as his. Both exhausted, the young couple fell asleep with their bodies intertwined.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~``'

The next morning, Lissa actually awoke before Nolan. During the course of the night, they had drifted away from one another and ended up on opposite sides of the bed. Even so, Lissa was convinced she'd never slept so peacefully. She and Nolan had _slept_ together numerous times before. They had snuggled, kissed, and lay together naked. Oral sex had been part of their repertoire for a few years. But Lissa decided there was nothing even remotely similar to sleeping together after intercourse. She couldn't imagine sleeping alone ever again. They were a part of one another now.

She slipped out of bed quietly and made her way to the bathroom. An overwhelming urge to share the news came over her, but who in the world could she call at 7:30am? If she contacted Amelia, she'd have to tell her details she wasn't sure she wanted to share. Breathing a sigh of relief, she texted Piper. School resumed that day, so Piper would be awake.

Lissa typed out a text, _Hey._

 _How's Canada lovebird?_ Piper replied immediately.

 _Time for details later,_ Lissa wrote, _but we took the next step._

 _Did you…?!_ Piper screamed through the message.

 _Yeah,_ Lissa admitted. Nolan called out from the bed, "Shorty? Where are you, Babe?"

"I'll be right there," Lissa responded as she cleaned up and awaited Piper's text.

 _I gotta get to class. Give that manly man my congratulations,_ Piper signed off.

Wrapping herself in a towel, Lissa stepped out of the bathroom and smiled, "Morning."

"What's with the towel? Come here, Gorgeous," Nolan encouraged sleepily.

Lissa threw her head down as she forced herself forward.

"What's wrong?" Nolan inquired with concern as he sat up.

"Nothing. I'm just being weird," she grinned as she rolled her eyes.

Grasping the back of her head and drawing her to his lips, Nolan quietly assured her, "That's why I adore you, Shorty."

She sat down next to him and he pulled her onto the mattress. Before kissing her forehead then leaning his cheek alongside hers, he whispered, "Let me hold you and count my blessings."


	38. Chapter 38 - Don't Annoy Sleeping Bears

**Chapter 38**

A Pivotal Year – Don't Annoy Sleeping Bears

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Sunday, January 2**

After a hellish and frantic night in the ER, Owen dragged himself home at 6am. He parked the Boxster in the garage and yawned all the way to the door into the house. Hoping to arrive without waking anyone, he slipped his shoes off and then immediately stubbed his toe on a tiny shoe left in the entry. Rather than check all the doors, his regular routine, he headed directly to the guest room. He could barely make it up the stairs, let alone contemplate the possibility of begging his way into his own comfortable and familiar bed.

On top of the comforter of the small twin bed, Amelia had left two blankets, a set of sheets, a pair of sweats, and a t-shirt. Owen stripped down to his boxers and uncharacteristically threw his scrubs on the floor. Setting the sheets and tomorrow's clothes on a nearby chair, Owen fell on top of the comforter and threw both blankets over his body. Within minutes, he was asleep.

At 7 am, Owen dreamed that he was sleeping in a snow cave and a bear cub kept scratching against the snow in an attempt to climb in. The dream was so real that he could feel the discomfort of his uncovered feet and the hot breath of the cub on his face. The cub whispered to him, "Daddy, I wanna snuggle you." Half-awake and half-asleep, Owen rolled over and barely opened one eye. He shook himself awake at the site of Ria, holding her Torie Malori doll, leaning close to his face.

"Hey, Ree," Owen blinked before rubbing his face with his hands. "Daddy just got home from the hospital, honey. I'm really, really tired."

The little girl's bottom lip began to tremble as she shared, "I had a super scary dream and I went into your room and you weren't there and then I heard your voice and came in here and… and… I need my daddy."

"Oh, baby…" Owen responded as he attempted to soothe his little girl. Unable to move his head off the pillow, he explained, "Ria, this is just a little bed. I'm not sure there's room for both of us in here."

"Please…" Ria sniffled. "I'll be super tiny."

Unable to put up any resistance, Owen lifted the blankets and nudged his head to the side. Ria climbed in and snuggled close to her daddy's broad chest.

"Torie Malori says thank you, Daddy. She didn't know what to do when I woke up scared," Ria disclosed.

"Mmm Hmm," Owen sounded as he faded off.

Ria studied her daddy's stubbly face and auburn eyelashes. Fascinated by the color, she pet the hair of his eyebrows with her index finger.

"Ree?" Owen mumbled without moving.

"Yeah?" she responded.

"What are you doing?" Owen inquired.

"Petting you. Your eyebrows are pretty and they match your hair," she mused.

"Daddy can't sleep when you do that, sweetie. Daddy needs to sleep," he mumbled.

Ria admitted, "I wish I had hair your color and Anna had hair like Mommy."

"Shhhhhh," Owen encouraged.

Trying her best to fall back asleep, Ria attempted to be quiet. She looked around the room as the morning sun slipped in through the blinds. Noticing Owen's scrubs on the floor, she wondered why her normally tidy Daddy had thrown his clothes all over. She planned to ask him about it when he woke up.

Torie Malori was struggling to fall asleep, too. With the assistance of Ria's hands and imagination, Torie danced on Owen's belly then tiptoed to his pillow. After an impressive jump from the top of the bed to the foot, she slid off and landed on the floor. Ria hopped out from under Owen's protective arm to save her pal.

In a loud whisper, Victoria explained, "Torie, now it's sleeping time. If you can't be quiet, you'll have to go in our bed all alone."

"Ria," Owen growled.

"Daddy," she imitated his tone playfully.

"Go. To. Bed," Owen ordered. Ria walked to the side of the twin bed and began to climb in, only to be told, "In your own bed."

"But, Daddy…" Ria whined as she planted her feet on the carpet.

With far more volume than necessary, the exhausted father began, "One…"

In a tiny and sad voice, Ria protested, "I want to snuggle you. You've been working forever and I missed you for days and days."

"Two…" Owen growled.

"Daddy, please," she persisted.

"Three…"

"Nooooo. I wanna stay with you," Ria begged.

Owen reached his hand down and slapped her rear firmly, "Go."

Ria, unaccustomed to anything other than her daddy's adoration, howled beyond necessary. The shock of being punished by Owen was almost more painful than the actual spanking. As her ear-piercing wails filled the upper floor, Amelia awoke from a sound sleep while Owen threw a pillow over his head.

Running into the guest room, afraid that Ria was seriously injured, Amelia inquired with concern, "Ria, are you ok, baby?"

"Get her out of here," Owen snarled.

"What happened, Owen?" Amelia stated firmly as she held her little girl and stroked Ria's hair. The sound of Ria's sobs continued to fill the room.

"Mia… I need to sleep," Owen protested angrily. "Please."

"Baby, what happened? Did something scare you? Shh… shhh…. What's wrong, Ria?" Amelia questioned, having gotten nowhere with Owen.

"Daddy spanked me," Ria communicated between gusts of air.

"Oh, for f #%'s sake, Owen. Really?" Amelia fought.

Owen stood up with fury in his eyes, glared at Amelia, and stormed past her. As she followed him into the hallway, he realized his limited attire and turned back to the guest room. He grabbed his sweats, t-shirt, and a blanket, then proceeded back into the hallway. With varying stages of curiosity, the kids stood in their doorways watching the battle unfold.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Amelia badgered her husband as she handed Victoria to a disoriented, sleepy Ryder. Olivia immediately ran over and attempted to tend to her little sister. For his part, Ryder swayed as he hugged Ria tightly.

"Where am I going?! Where am I going?!" Owen huffed at full volume. "To find a place to sleep uninterrupted, Amelia."

Following him down the stairs, Amelia pressed, "You come home, create chaos, storm off, and leave me to clean it all up?"

Sarcastically, Owen snapped, "I have faith in you, Mia."

Grabbing his upper arm and pulling him toward her, Amelia seethed quietly, " _You_ have faith in me, huh? Isn't that a drastic change from last night?"

Exhausted, Owen did not immediately recall the previous evening. Lowering his eyebrows and drawing them toward the bridge of his nose, Owen shook his head and challenged, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Get the hell out of my house and away from my children, Owen," Amelia commanded quietly, so the kids would not hear her.

" _Your_ house? _Your_ children?" Owen exhaled as he dropped everything in his arms, placed his hands on his hips and leaned toward Amelia.

"Get. Out," Amelia repeated through clenched teeth.

He bent down and gathered his blanket, sweats, and t-shirt before collecting his wallet, phone, and keys. On his way out the garage door, Owen mumbled uncharacteristically, "You bitch."

Stunned, Amelia stood frozen in place. In all the years and through all their arguments and disagreements, Owen had never crossed the line to label her with such hostility. Her heart was beating far too fast to resign to tears, and her reddened face indicated her rising temperature as her blood boiled within.

"Mommy?" Lucas' little boy voice stated tentatively as he approached her.

Without looking over her shoulder at him, Amelia sighed heavily and attempted to breathe deeply. After a slight pause, she responded, "Yeah?"

"Why did Daddy leave? Is he coming back?" Lucas inquired innocently.

With a fake smile, Amelia turned around and picked Lucas up. "Of course he's coming back, silly. Daddy just needs to rest."

"Where'd he go?" Lucas wondered.

Realizing she had no idea where Owen was headed, Amelia's heart skipped a beat. He was beyond exhausted, driving, and fuming. "Let's get some breakfast in that tummy, Mister," Amelia suggested as she lightly tickled Luke's stomach.

Meanwhile, Owen pulled out of the garage and sharply turned the Boxster's wheels as he drove away. Within seconds, he came to the realization that he was wearing only boxers and driving without a destination. He pulled over at the treehouse, gathered his hastily collected belongings, and walked to his temporary home. He reached for the hidden key above the doorframe and opened the door, only to be overwhelmed by the smell of pot. Seething but too tired to react, he stumbled over to the worn out sofa and fell upon it. Patting the cushions, Owen settled into a bearable position and lay his head down on a musty-smelling throw pillow. Despite the less-than-ideal situation, Owen's fatigued body surrendered to fitful, restless sleep within minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~'

Back at the house, Amelia pasted on a Happy Mommy face. For a special treat, she announced, they'd go out to breakfast. As Olivia assisted Anna and Ryder helped Lucas, Amelia kept Ria close by her side. After showering and dressing, Amelia knelt down to talk with her sullen girl.

"How are you, Ria?" she inquired with concern.

"Daddy hurt my feelings… and my bottom," she pouted slightly. "He hit me hard, Mama."

Amelia grimaced. She did not want to defend Owen's actions, yet was completely unaware of what led up to his decision. Hoping commiserating would help, Amelia disclosed, "I remember one time when Gramma Carolyn spanked me with a kitchen spoon." She winced and continued, "That hurt a long time."

"Why did she do that?" Ria asked innocently.

As Amelia thought back, she recalled that it occurred shortly after her father had died. The reason had long since escaped her memory, but the sense of betrayal and the experience of her mother's anger remained. "I don't remember, Ree," Amelia shared blankly. "But I remember how much it hurt my feelings."

"Why was Daddy so mean to me? I thought he loved me," Ria honestly wondered.

"Oh, Ree Ree," Amelia reassured their daughter, "Daddy loves you very, very, very much. He loves you more than popsicles, more than his fancy car, and more than anything."

"More than chocolate?" Ria questioned.

"More than chocolate _and_ more than ice cream," Amelia promised.

"But he was mean to me," Ria contemplated.

"Why do you think he did what he did?" Amelia asked, out of reassuring responses.

"He wanted me to be quiet and to be asleep, but Torie Malori wouldn't sleep. He told me to go back to bed, and I tried to climb next to him but he told me to go to my bed."

"And…" Amelia encouraged, not sure of the point of Ria's story.

"And I asked super nice if I could stay with him instead and he said, 'One,' so I asked again and he said, 'Two.' Then I really asked super a lot and he spanked me," Ria recounted.

"Hmm… sounds like Daddy tried to let you snuggle with him at first, then became crabby. Is that right?" Amelia reflected.

"Mmm hmm," Ria confirmed.

"Then he asked you to go to your bed and you tried to talk him out of that?" Amelia surmised.

"Well… because I love him and missed him. I wasn't trying to be naughty," Ria explained sincerely.

With her lips stretched toward her cheek, Amelia concluded, "I wonder if super-sleepy, tired Daddy thought you were arguing with him."

"I don't argue. Anna does that," Ria attempted to clarify with innocence.

Amelia chuckled and smirked before pointing out, "Daddy asked you to do something and you didn't do it."

"But you wouldn't spank me for that," Ria attempted to sort out.

Wrapping her arms around her little girl, Amelia whispered in her ear, "Daddy and I sometimes make different choices."

"I don't like his choices," Ria shared sadly.

"I know, baby… I know," Amelia soothed.


	39. Chapter 39 - Now Is Not a Good Time

**Chapter 39**

A Pivotal Year – Now Is Not a Good Time

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Sunday, January 2**

Attempting to shift the mood of the morning, Amelia suggested at breakfast that she and the kids spend the day playing. "Who has ideas? What should we do today?" she asked them.

"We could go climb a mountain!" Lucas exclaimed with enthusiasm.

"Or ride in a boat on the lake," Anna suggested.

Olivia piped up, "Shopping!"

Ryder threw in, "Can't we just go home?"

"What do you think, Ria?" Amelia inquired.

Sadly and with her head hanging down, she shared, "I still just wanna snuggle with Daddy."

"Hmm…" Amelia answered, more stumped after than the suggestions than before. "I know! How about if we go to the Children's Museum?"

The littles all agreed heartily and Olivia reluctantly consented. Ryder, of course, was far from impressed with the idea.

Spotting his facial expression, Amelia pointed out, "Ryder, they go to all of your soccer games and never complain. Is one trip to the Children's Museum too much to ask?"

"Do I have a choice?" Ryder tested.

"Nope," Amelia smirked.

"Will you pay me for helping?" he urged.

"Nope," she smirked again. "It's part of being a family, Ry."

"Nolan's not going," Ryder sarcastically protested.

"That's the best you can do?" Amelia teased.

With a sigh, Ryder resigned, "Fine. Whatever."

When Owen stirred at 3pm, he reached for his phone in the hopes that he had a text from Amelia. No missed calls or incoming texts existed. Although sleeping all day had rejuvenated him physically, his spirits had fallen into an emotional pit. As he threw on his sweats and shirt, he sighed heavily as he recalled his angry words and reactions earlier that morning. Besides convincing himself that he was one of the worst fathers in the world, he guessed he was in the running for worst husband as well.

The sweat and hospital air from the previous night's shift covered his body like a film and his hours sleeping in the treehouse added a variety of other layers and scents. He stretched his back, hoping to work out the knots that the treehouse sofa had provided. Then he smothered his face with his hands and wondered to himself, _What have I done? Can't we just erase the last 24 hours?_

Hesitant to return to the house and face Amelia's wrath, he concluded that sending a text might be his best first step. He typed out, _Just woke up. Can I come clean up, change clothes, etc? Is now a good time?_

While playing dress up with the kids, Amelia heard her phone emit the distinctive tone reserved for communications from Owen. "Ry," she requested as the young teen sat against the wall playing games on his phone and guarding her purse, "can you take a look at that text for me?"

Ria jumped onto Amelia with a giggle and placed a princess tiara on her head, "Looks great, Mama."

"I thought Mommy was the sister, not the princess," Lucas protested.

"Yeah, I'm the Princess, Victoria," Anna insisted.

"You guys," Olivia sighed. "If Mama and Anna are sisters, then they're both princesses."

"Oh," Lucas accepted as he went in search of a costume.

Ryder dug into Amelia's purse and read Owen's text. Perplexed that his dad, even if his parents were fighting, would ask for permission to enter his own home, Ryder called, "Mom, you might want to come read this. I don't get it."

Amelia threw a scarf around Ria's neck and kissed Anna before crawling over to Ryder. He held up the phone and she scanned the message. "Thanks, hon," she offered as she typed out a response that read, _Good idea. Kids and I are out. We'll be home around 5. Please be gone by then._ She silenced the phone and threw it back inside her purse.

Once Amelia was re-engaged with the littles, Ryder slid the phone out and read her response. By the time he did so, Owen had responded, _Mia… you have every right to be angry with me, but can we talk? Will you hear me out?_

Ryder wondered why Amelia would tell Owen to be gone before the rest of the family returned home. He knew they had fought, but telling him to get out seemed a bit much.

"Why are you holding Mama's phone?" Olivia inquired as she came to sit against the wall with her brother. Playing with the littles had been entertaining, but now she wanted to hang with the big kid.

"I thought I heard it vibrate. Was just checking it for Mom. Why do you care?" Ryder responded.

"I dunno. Just wondering," Olivia shrugged. After a few minutes of sitting by Ryder silently, she added, "Are there games on your phone that we can play together?"

"Nope," Ryder declared.

"Do you wanna go for a walk or do something?" Olivia asked with hope.

"Nope," Ryder echoed without looking up from his phone.

"Can I play with Mama's phone?" she pestered.

"Did Mom say you could?" Ryder grumbled.

"No," Olivia admitted. "but I'm bored and you're not being very fun."

"If Mom didn't say it was ok, then you can't mess with her phone," Ryder stated flatly.

"She didn't say I _couldn't_ ," Olivia attempted.

"Fine, but I'm not part of this if you ruin it," Ryder resigned as he handed the phone over.

"Ryder?" Olivia inquired as she played. "What does it mean to hear someone out? Is it like to listen to them?"

"Yeah, why?" Ryder, focused on his phone, responded.

"Because that's what Daddy wants Mommy to do. See?" Olivia stated as she held up the phone for her brother to view.

Ryder looked at Olivia and warned, "You shouldn't read that, Liv. That's between Mom and Dad."

"What's between Mom and Dad?" Amelia asked as she stripped off the dress up accessories and sat down by her older kids for a break.

"Dad texted you back," Ryder informed her. "and Livs read it."

"Oh," Amelia uttered. "What did he say Red?"

"He wants you to listen to him and says you can be mad," Olivia poorly summarized.

"That I _can_ be mad, like he's giving me permission?" Amelia attempted to clarify. "Let me see the phone, Livs." Amelia read the text and realized Owen's words were more humble than Olivia's overview. She responded, _Now is not the time. I have the kids with me. They're happy. I can't focus on this crap between us right now and – frankly – you're the last person I want to see._

By the time Amelia responded, Owen was in the shower attempting to cleanse off the hospital air, the stench of the treehouse, and his regrets. He'd already brought a duffle bag and garment bag up and set them on the bed. As soon as he dried off and dressed, he'd pack a week's worth of clothes and hope his efforts ended up being overkill.

As he stepped out of the shower, he heard his phone sound and decided to wait to read the latest text. After dressing and packing, he read Amelia's message and leaned against the wall attempting not to break down in tears. Without a doubt, he knew he had made a tremendous mistake when he quickly assumed she had been using. His explosive temper with Ria earlier in the day had been horrendous and the words he and Amelia exchanged afterward only poured salt in the wounds.

He descended the stairs with his emotional and physical baggage, wondering where he would go. He could call up his mom and stay with her, but then he'd have to explain everything to her and she wouldn't give him the space he needed. Another option was to grab an on-call room and temporarily move in. He wouldn't be the first one to do so, but word would travel quickly around the hospital. Ultimately, Owen decided to stay at a hotel. He called over to the Four Seasons, which was only a few blocks from the hospital, and booked a room with a city view and a balcony. Providing his arrival time, he ordered dinner and requested that it be delivered to his room shortly thereafter. He loaded the Boxster and pulled out of the garage at 5:15.

As he drove toward the gate, the Enclave drove through it. Before the two cars met up, Owen stopped and rolled down his window. He whispered to himself, "Please, Mia… please stop. Just let me say goodnight to the kids."

"Poor Daddy. Looks like he's headed back to the hospital," Amelia lied with a chipper voice as she stopped and rolled down her window.

Owen could not meet her eye as he mumbled, "At least this way I can say goodnight to everyone first." He stepped out of his car and opened the door behind the driver's door. Leaning in, he hugged and kissed Lucas and Anna, declaring, "I love you and I'll miss you both tonight. Be good for Mommy, ok?"

He then proceeded around the SUV and opened Ria's door. With tears in his eyes, he softly set his hand on Ria's arm and apologized, "Victoria, I'm so sorry I lost my temper with you this morning, honey. Daddy was really, really wrong to be so crabby. I shouldn't have spanked you."

"I love you, Daddy," Ria proclaimed as she held her arms out and twisted them around his neck. "I'm sorry I was too loud and didn't let you sleep."

Owen pulled back and looked Ria in the eye, "You didn't do anything wrong, Ria. Nothing." He kissed her forehead and smiled softly at her.

"Livs," Owen reached back, attempting to hug Olivia. "I love you, Red. Help Mom tonight, ok?"

"Can you hug me from the back of the car, Daddy?" she begged.

"Owen, I have hungry kids here…" Amelia prodded.

"Yeah, ok…" Owen responded as he walked to the passenger door. Ryder rolled his window down and glanced at his dad suspiciously. "Ry, I'll see you later, huh?" Owen proposed as he patted Ry's arm.

"Yep. Take care, Dad," Ryder responded as the two fistbumped.

Owen leaned his head in just a touch and informed Amelia gently, "I'm gonna give Livs a hug from the back. Then I gotta go."

"Yep," Amelia quipped as she attempted to smile.

Crawling in through the back hatch, Owen wrapped Livie up in a bear hug and told her he loved her.

"Thanks for coming back for a real hug, Daddy," Olivia praised as she kissed his cheek.

He grinned and climbed out. Closing the hatch and patting it twice, he indicated Mia was ready to drive off.

"How come Daddy didn't give you hugs and kisses, Mama?" Lucas inquired.

Holding back tears and facing forward, Amelia explained, "He wanted to kiss and hug all of you so much that we both wanted to make sure he spent all his time doing that, sweetie."

"Bullshit," Ryder mumbled in a barely audible voice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Shortly thereafter, Owen checked in and rode the elevator to his hotel room. That morning, the idea of being undisturbed and completely alone sounded like perfection. Now, roughly twelve hours later, the actual experience was hollow, empty, and lonely.

Eating provided a brief distraction, although the silence was deafening compared to the clamor of dinnertime at home. As he swallowed a bite, Owen thought to himself, _High? Hugging the kids. Low? Everything else._ Nobody was there to read his mind or hear about his day. Usually if he and Mia didn't eat dinner together, they found another time to connect and share. On this night, Mia not only precluded his presence from the table; she also had no interest in hearing about his trials and tribulations.

After eating, Owen poured himself some scotch and paced around the room aimlessly. He threw on a heavy coat and stood on the balcony. The sounds of the traffic and the twinkling city lights surrounded him. He wondered how many other people were suffering and alone that night. When he heard a text alert, he jumped inside and rushed to his phone.

 _Lissa's bday in Victoria._ _I love this girl so much,_ Nolan's text read as it accompanied a selfie. He and Lissa were dressed up and beaming from ear to ear as the Empress Hotel shone in the background.

With glistening eyes, Owen chuckled aloud as he soaked in the kids and their joy. Unaware that he was sending his response to a group, Owen responded, _Love is a gift. Never forget how fortunate you are to have one another. Can't wait to see you both. Love, Dad._

At the Lake House, Amelia was in the process of brushing out Olivia's wet curls when the texts came through. Olivia picked up the phone and exclaimed, "Mama! Look! Nolan and Lissa. They look super happy."

Amelia leaned her head around Livie's shoulder and rested her chin, "They do, Olivia. They really do. What did Nolan write?"

Olivia read the words and giggled. "He's romantic, isn't he?"

"Yes," Amelia smiled softly. "He can be."

As Olivia began to read Owen's text silently, she stumbled on the word 'fortunate.' "Mama, what's for-ton-ate mean?"

"For-ton-ate?" Amelia repeated quizzically. "Let me see it, Red." Olivia held up the phone so Amelia could read Owen's text. "Fortunate," Amelia pronounced. "It means lucky."

"Nolan and Lissa are lucky, aren't they? They love, love, love each other so much," Olivia summarized.

"They do," Amelia agreed as she continued brushing.

"Just like you and Daddy," Olivia smiled as she turned and gazed at Amelia. Unable to speak, Amelia smiled softly and gazed at the floor.

"Mom!" Ryder hollered, "The littles are being evil."

"Evil is a very strong word, Ryder Blake," Amelia called back. "What's going on?"

"Come help me, please," Ryder begged.

Amelia walked into the master bath where the three youngest were sharing the large tub. Ria and Lucas were holding Ryder's hair and ears while Anna poured water over his head and explained, "We want Ryder to come in the bath with us, Mama."

"And I told them no," Ryder protested.

With a giggle, Amelia observed, "Looks like they may be winning this round."

"Mom!" Ryder begged.

"Let go of your brother, Victoria and Lucas. Anna, enough with the waterfall," Amelia ordered. As they complied, all three giggled. Grabbing the towel that Amelia held out for him, Ryder dried off his hair as Amelia instructed, "Why don't you go grab a shower, Ryder." He tromped down the hall and locked the door behind him.

"Nolan and Lissa sent us a picture from Canada," Olivia announced to the littles.

"From where we lived when we were little?" Lucas asked enthusiastically.

"From where _I_ lived and _Ryder_ lived and _Nolan_ lived when we were little. You never lived there," Olivia clarified.

"Why not? Where did you leave me when you lived there?" Lucas wondered aloud.

"You weren't born yet, Lucas. It was before you," Olivia shared.

"I wanna see the picture!" Anna begged.

"Let's wait until you're done in the tub. Phones and water don't mix well," Amelia shared.

Her phone sounded and Olivia volunteered to check it. A text from Owen read, _Did you see the picture of the kids in Victoria?_ Olivia recited the text aloud after announcing that it was a text from Daddy.

"You can type back for me, if you want, Olivia," Amelia instructed. She dictated, "Yes. Cute. In the middle of bath time."

"Don't you want to say 'I love you'?" Olivia suggested.

"Let's just keep it short this time," Amelia grinned. Olivia strolled into the bedroom and typed the words in anyway before sending the reply.

With three glasses of scotch downed and another in process, Owen hoped the sign off meant Amelia was softening. Ignoring the bathtime explanation, Owen called Amelia's phone and didn't recognize Olivia's voice when she answered.

"Hey…" Owen sounded, assuming Amelia was on the other line. He could hear the littles giggling in the background as they splashed in the tub. "Listen, Mia, I would do anything to erase the last two days. I know I screwed up. All I want to do is hold you and make it up to you. I've been such an ass."

"Daddy, that's a naughty word," Olivia declared.

"Livs?" Owen, shocked, attempted to clarify.

"Who's on the phone, Olivia?" Amelia inquired from the other room.

"Daddy," Olivia replied.

Ria ran out from under the towel Amelia was using on her, announcing, "I want to talk to Daddy!" Her naked little butt had no lasting evidence from earlier as she sped to the phone.

"Hi, Daddy," Ria answered as she gently took the phone from Olivia.

"Hi, Ria. Can you put Mommy on the phone, honey?" Owen requested as his voice cracked and slurred.

"What's wrong with your voice, Daddy?" Ria wondered.

Amelia grasped the phone after hearing Ria's question. She asked Olivia to help the littles find PJs before speaking to Owen. "Hi," Amelia began.

Owen slurred, "I love you too, Mia. I'm so relieved you sent those same words. I'm lying here alone and all I can…"

"Owen," Amelia interrupted, "Olivia wrote those words and I asked her not to do so."

Stunned and confused, Owen prodded, "Her stunt helped us talk to each other."

"The kids are getting PJs on, Owen. They're wound up. I have to figure out a way to settle them down and get them to bed. Listen, I need to go," Amelia detailed.

"Mia," Owen nudged. "Let me come home… Please."

"You're drunk, Owen. Stay where you are and go to sleep. No more texts or calls tonight, ok?" Amelia begged as she hung up the phone.

When the call disconnected, Owen stared at his phone. His sad eyes locked on to the screen, anticipating a call or text. After sipping down the last of his fourth glass of scotch, Owen drifted off to sleep. He was clinging the phone to his chest, hoping not to miss her call.


	40. Chapter 40 - Rainy Days and Mondays

**Chapter 40**

 **A Pivotal Year – Rainy Days and Mondays**

 **Nolan 18, Lissa almost 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Monday, January 3**

Having passed out without setting an alarm, Owen was relieved to wake up twenty minutes before his shift. An Army-issued two minute shower left him 18 minutes to dress and walk the few blocks to the hospital. His head was pounding and his heart was aching as he hurried around the hotel room searching for his clothes, toiletries, and wallet.

By not stopping in the Attendings' Lounge, he arrived in the ER one minute early. He received the report from the doctor whose shift was ending then stood behind the desk arranging paperwork and applying pressure to his temple.

One of the eager interns greeted him with an offer, "Chief, would you like me to go fetch your lab coat?"

"Thank you, that would be great," Owen responded as he handed the intern his keys without looking up. "And bring down a pair of scrubs and my stethoscope, please."

"Sure thing, sir," the intern replied as he ran to the elevator and hoped his errand would increase his chance to participate in the next surgery.

As Owen reviewed a chart, he was intrigued by the symptoms listed and the treatment plan that was underway. Spotting April walking past the desk, Owen called out, "Kepner? A moment?"

"What's up, Chief?" April questioned with a chipper tone.

"This patient…" Owen began.

Interrupting, April reported, "Already in CT. I'm waiting on lab work to confirm…"

In turn, Owen interrupted April. His resounding voice was stern and unapologetic, "Did you notice the patient's allergies?"

"Could we… uh… maybe take our conversation over there?" April requested as she pointed to an empty exam room. She was embarrassed to see that various patients and staff were staring at the two of them.

Pursing his lips, Owen steamed toward the Exam room. As April entered the room, he threw the iPad on the exam table. "The CT is completely out of order before administering an inexpensive dose of Benadryl."

"You're right, Chief…" April responded with shock. "I.. I missed it."

"Missed it? You missed it? It's a damn good thing the patient isn't in anaphylactic shock, Kepner. Is there a reason your head isn't in the game today?" Owen bellowed.

"I said I screwed up. I'm sorry," April protested.

"Is that what you'd say to the widow? _I'm sorry… I screwed up_?" he yelled.

Glancing up and to her right, Kepner inquired calmly, "How can I fix this, Chief? How would you like me to proceed?"

"Read the damn chart before ordering expensive tests. Think like a doctor, Kepner," Owen snapped as he barreled out of the room. April slid onto a chair, attempting to prevent tears and hoping to re-center herself.

"Chief, here's your coat, Sir," the intern announced as he scrambled behind Owen eagerly.

Owen turned, took off his suitcoat, put on his lab coat, and flung the stethoscope around his neck, ordering, "Put this in my office and leave the scrubs in the ER lounge with my name on them."

"Sure, Sir," the intern sputtered as Owen stormed past him.

When Owen reached the ER desk, Karev was entering a note in a file. He had heard Owen bellow at Kepner and had just witnessed his exchange with the intern. "Bad day, Chief?" Karev asked.

"What do you need, Karev?" Owen growled as he reviewed a phone message that had been left for him.

Alex leaned within inches of Owen's face and placed a hand on Owen's shoulder, "You know, I'm kind of an expert at being an ass, so I know what I'm talking about here… tone it down a notch or you're going to make a hell of a lot of enemies before your shift is through. Everyone's here to do their job. They aren't trying to piss you off… Really."

Flashing his blue eyes at Alex, Owen crumpled the phone message in his hand and walked to the elevators without saying a word.

"What's his problem?" Jo questioned as she approached Alex.

Shrugging, Alex hunched, "Maybe the guy needs to get laid."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Nolan and Lissa's final day in Victoria had arrived. The rain had been falling since early morning and didn't appear to be letting up. Noticing the ever-deepening puddles outside, Nolan and Lissa decided to spend the day inside. Ever economical, Nolan suggested they raid the fridge and nibble on random leftovers for breakfast.

As he took a bite of steak from a recent dinner, Nolan inquired, "Want some?"

Lissa stepped over with an open mouth and Nolan fed her a bite. "Mmm, that's almost better than it was the other night," she commented with a mouthful of food.

In response, Nolan grinned as he chewed. After swallowing his bite, he rubbed his index finger along the bottom of her chin and teased, "Lovely manners, Princess."

"Easy, pal," Lissa warned as she rolled her eyes and smirked. She turned and began washing dishes while Nolan finished eating. Since Lissa couldn't hear him over the running water, he stared out the window and soon began recalling the portion of his childhood spent in the house and its picketed fence back yard. Flashes of picture memories flooded his mind: soccer games when Uncle Owen visited, hide and seek with Ryder and baby Livie, and games of tickle tag with Blake. Kayla would often admonish them from running in the house, but she never actually insisted they stop. Blake would flash a smile at his young wife as he scooped up Nolan and all three would erupt into fits of laughter as the tickling raged.

When she dried her hands on a dishtowel, Lissa turned toward Nolan and noticed the melancholy smile on his face. "What's up, Trems?" she asked.

Nolan glanced at her, "Nothing, really. Just thinking."

Walking over and embracing him from behind, Lissa repeated, "Thinking, huh?"

With a gentle chuckle, Nolan shared, "Remembering my mom and dad. Thinking about the day Mom brought Olivia home. My dad would have loved her bright red curls. He was a perfect father of boys, but he would've been nuts about his little girl."

"Memories that are sad and happy at the same time…" Lissa observed.

"Bittersweet," Nolan pondered aloud. Twisting to the side, Nolan grasped Lissa's face in his hands and kissed her. "I'm happy that you're here with me."

She leaned her head against his and whispered, "Me too. Being here has been good for you."

"Good for us," Nolan suggested as he swept his hand down her back and onto her rear.

Giggling, Lissa simpered, "I think so too."

"Want to go think together… upstairs… in bed?" Nolan proposed with a twinkle in his eyes. Lissa let out a yelp as she found herself being carried up the stairs.

The playful couple landed on the bed and kissed passionately. In the blink of an eye, both were naked and hands traveled around bodies.

"Wait…" Nolan urged as he grabbed a condom.

"How many of those did you bring, Mr. Optimistic?" she wondered.

"Mom packed them for us," Nolan chuckled. "These were in the bag she gave you."

Lissa cackled and spouted, "No way!"

"Serious," Nolan swore. "Now no more talk about my mom or the mood will be killed and we won't need them," he concluded as he put on the condom.

He lay on his back and encouraged Lissa, "Climb on up."

"Huh?" she questioned with surprise.

"C'mon. Let's try it," Nolan grinned as he gently pushed her onto him. As he placed himself inside her slowly, Lissa gasped.

"Is that a good groan or an 'ouch' groan?" Nolan wondered aloud.

"Good," Lissa sputtered as his entry consumed her attention. Nolan held her petite waist as he guided her up and down. He smiled at her with wonder as her breasts mimicked her body's movements.

"You are so beautiful… amazing," Nolan murmured. She regarded him with a smile full of pleasure. To his delight, Lissa moaned in pleasure as their love making continued.

Snuggling together afterward, a comfortable silence surrounded them. After a few minutes, Nolan hummed, "Mmm…" He closed his eyes and kissed her hair. "Lissa?"

"Yeah?" she responded dreamily.

"I… well, I need to… tell you something," Nolan disclosed with hesitation.

Rolling onto her stomach and supporting her weight on her lower arm as it rested on the mattress, Lissa bore her gaze into Nolan and sputtered, "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, no worries," Nolan assured her. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you, but the timing never seems right."

With a silly grin, Lissa giggled, "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Nolan shook his head and warned, "Keep it up and I'll tickle you until you pee."

"Woah!" Lissa laughed. "Fine… go on." She attempted to regard him seriously. Managing not to laugh or giggle, a small smile appeared on her lips.

"I'm just going to say it," Nolan declared. "Umm... you kept asking how I could afford everything last night. Truth be told, I have a huge ass trust fund from my dad's wrongful death settlement and my mom's life insurance. Ryder and Olivia each have one, too."

Lissa blinked a few times and sputtered, "Oh…wow." She stroked Nolan's cheek as she studied him, "Do I need to sign something? You know, promising to never touch any of it."

"No," Nolan scoffed. "Give me a break, Liss. C'mon."

"I kind of don't like knowing," Lissa shared. "Loving you has nothing to do with money."

Nolan pulled his head up slightly and kissed her, "I know that."

"Why now? Why tell me about it now?" Lissa inquired.

"I dunno. It's not a _secret_ , but it's not something you just bring up in casual conversation either. I started to feel like I was hiding something from you and I hated that feeling," Nolan detailed.

Snuggling back onto his chest, Lissa let the news soak in. "What's it mean for us, Nole?"

"It means we're pretty wealthy 18 year olds. When we move in together in LA, I'm hoping to buy our place and not just rent," Nolan disclosed.

"Oh…" Lissa uttered. "And _you're_ a wealthy 18 year old, not me. It's your trust fund, Nole."

"Whatever," Nolan shrugged. "Now come here and make love to me." She smiled softly and kissed him. After another session of sex, the two dozed off in each other's arms.

When Nolan awoke about 45 minutes later, he quietly stepped into the bathroom and showered. He gathered the contents of his Dopp kit as he prepared for the day. While he ran gel through his hair with his fingers, Lissa's little fingers joined in the effort from behind. She could barely reach his head, even though she was standing on her tiptoes.

Nolan responded with a chuckle and bent down, encouraging, "You know how you like it. Go ahead and finish it."

She fussed with his hair until she was satisfied, concluding, "Now you're even more handsome than usual." After a quick peck on his cheek, she hopped in to the shower.

Returning the favor, Nolan joined her as she washed her hair. "Let me do that for you, Blondie," he whispered.

"You were all ready for the day, silly," Lissa giggled.

"Then I realized I was ready for you," he crooned as he reached around and worked his hand between her legs. "Wanna try it in here?"

"You're insatiable, aren't you?" she laughed.

Nuzzling his chin into her neck, he murmured, "When it comes to you, I am."

"How… uh… how do we do it in here?" Lissa wondered aloud, referring to sex in the shower.

After sliding on a condom, Nolan balanced on the shower ledge and brought her onto him as he quietly sounded, "Shhhhhh."

Without words, the young couple slowly made love and soaked in the experience. After some time, as his thrusts sped up, Nolan climaxed and then faintly blurted out, "Dammit!" He lifted her body off of his abruptly and stood up.

Lissa exclaimed, "What's wrong, Trems?"

"The condom broke," Nolan grimaced as he fiddled with it and removed it.

"No… no it didn't," Lissa gasped as if her refusal to believe the news would make a difference.

Noting the expression of terror on her face, Nolan re-focused on calming Lissa down, "Baby, don't worry about it. We've been having sex non-stop since last night. There's no way I have any swimmers left right now."

"Is that how it works?" she inquired naively.

Appearing confident, Nolan hugged her and assured her, "Everything's fine."

He was so convincing that Lissa was ready to continue, "Can we pick up where we left off then?"

"Baby, you're wearing me out," Nolan chuckled. "Let's take a break for a while." He stepped out of the shower and began to dry off.

After she conditioned her hair and finished her shower, Nolan held out a towel and wrapped Lissa in it as she emerged. "I love you," Lissa beamed. "You are way too good to me, Nolan." She stepped away and glanced over her shoulder, blowing him a kiss as she neared the bedroom.

Nolan fell against the wall and breathed deeply. Inside his head, he repeated, _F #%, f #%, f #%,. I never thought I'd look forward to her next period._

A few minutes later, Lissa called out, "Nole?"

"Babe?" Nolan swallowed slowly, trying his best to keep a steady voice.

"Come look at the rainbows," she announced.

"Be right there, Liss," Nolan assured her as he continued breathing deeply and attempted to slow his rapid heartbeat.

He forced himself to step into the bedroom and hugged her tightly from behind as he rested his chin on her head. Together, the two stared at the rare sight and admired the colorful sky.

"See how the colors are inverted?" Nolan, the left-brained intellectual, pointed out. "One of the rainbows begins with red, then orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet and the other begins with violet and works its way to red."

Not registering Nolan's analysis, Lissa recalled, "My mom used to tell me that a double rainbow was a sign of transformation. She'd also read somewhere that one of them symbolizes a human ascending to heaven and the other represents a human descending from heaven."

Nolan squeezed Lissa in response, quietly thinking to himself, _Actually, a double rainbow means_ _there is one extra reflection of light within the water drop. O_ _ptics, reflection and refraction, Shorty. But we'll go with your starry-eyed meaning and not kill the moment._


	41. Chapter 41 - Hurting People Hurt People

**Chapter 41**

A Pivotal Year – Hurting People Hurt People

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Monday, January 3**

After attacking everyone in sight in the ER, Owen stomped away and stormed onto the elevator. A few floors later, when the elevator door opened, Owen stepped off and headed directly for his office. Patricia was waiting for him and jumped up from her desk as soon as she spotted him.

"Not now," Owen barked as he walked past her.

"I wish it was that simple, Dr. Hunt, but it isn't," Patricia explained. Owen sat in his desk chair and wearily anticipated her next words. "We seem to have overbooked OR 4, Sir."

"Fix it," Owen muttered as he grabbed a stack of papers on his desk.

"Sir, I'm not qualified…" Patricia began to remind him.

"I said fix it!" Owen ordered.

Patricia calmly walked over to the office door and closed it. She turned around and sat down in one of the side chairs facing his desk without saying a word. Continuing to review the paperwork before him, Owen studied the words on the page. After two pages, he glanced up expectantly.

"You seem to be having a horrible day, Sir, but four physicians need to do their jobs and perform surgery. In order for them to do their jobs today, I need to do my job and post an OR schedule. In order for me to do my job, you need to do your job. Do not snap at me – I am not willing to receive the brunt of your misdirected anger," Patricia reached over and set the overbooked OR schedule and patient summaries before Owen.

Looking down, Owen reviewed the situation. Without making eye contact, he inquired, "What about OR 2 – can Robbins reschedule to 3pm and move in there?"

"Robbins is operating with Karev at 2 in OR 3," Patricia recited from memory.

"How about if Pierce delays her 1pm until 4pm?" Owen pondered aloud.

"At 4pm, OR 3 is scheduled for a complete sterilization process that is overdue," Patricia reminded him.

"Then put Pierce in OR 5 and tell Nelson he'll have the space tomorrow," Hunt ordered.

"That would be the third day that Dr. Nelson has been rescheduled. I wouldn't suggest it," Patricia offered.

"Well, dammit," Owen exclaimed as he ran his head through his hair before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Tell OB to delay any scheduled C-sections that can wait. Worst case scenario, we can call in the troops to help deliver babies this evening."

"Okay…" Patricia responded with a warning tone.

"What's wrong?" Owen asked.

"OB seems to be the one that takes the brunt of poor planning. I'm not sure how much longer they'll stand for it," she cautioned.

"Tough luck," Owen growled. "That's what happens when we share a hospital. If they want their own ORs, they can procure funding for them."

"Don't tempt them, Chief. They might surprise you," Patricia teased over her shoulder as she exited the room. Stopping at the doorway, she suggested, "I could arrange for some fluids to quell that nasty hangover."

Owen hated how Patricia could see below the surface and put her finger on the underlying problem. He nodded and grumbled, "That would be helpful. Thank you." Soon, the blinds to the glass office were drawn and Owen lay on his office couch reviewing paperwork and signing off on purchases while an IV rehydrated his body and pumped nutrients into his system. Patricia guarded the door like a police dog and redirected anyone attempting to access Owen.

When Amelia approached, Patricia stopped her and explained, "I'm sorry, Dr. Shepherd, the Chief cannot be disturbed right now."

"I'm his wife, Patricia," Amelia countered.

"I'm aware of that, Ma'am. Would you like me to page you when he becomes available?" she offered.

"No," Amelia stated firmly. "I'd like you to let me see him."

Patricia rose from her desk and entered Owen's office. "Sir, your wife would like to come in," she announced.

"That's fine," Owen allowed. He remained stretched out on the couch, reading a proposal for a new MRI.

"What's this?" Amelia asked flatly. She approached the IV bag and flicked it with her finger, "Hung over, huh?"

"Can I help you?" Owen questioned with a quick attempt at eye contact.

Amelia sat down at a desk chair and shared, "The kids need to be picked up after school. From there, Ry needs a ride to soccer practice at the stadium. Olivia and Anna need to be taken to dance class. Ria has a PT appointment here at 4."

Without looking up, Owen quizzed, "And who will be taking care of that?"

"You," Amelia huffed. "I'll be here. Working."

"Where's Lynne?" Owen wondered.

"She won't be back until next week. Nolan and Lissa are back tonight, but Nolan leaves tomorrow. I warned you before Christmas that this week was going to be a juggling act," Amelia reminded him in an I-told-you-so voice.

"I have a hospital to run, Mia. I'm sorry… I can't help," Owen grimaced.

"Why is this my problem?" Amelia protested.

"Anything else?" Owen glared. He removed his IV and put pressure on the site before wrapping it up.

Amelia stood up and began to walk toward the door. Before opening it, she turned around and returned to Owen. Standing in front of him, she prodded, "Did you want to come home?"

"What?" Owen huffed as he sat up and threw his papers to the ground.

"You don't act like a remorseful man who's trying to work his way back home," Amelia pointed out.

"Mia…" Owen droned as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"No. I mean it, Owen. Are we a partnership? A team? Or am I your Personal Assistant-with-benefits?" she fought.

"Benefits? Right…" Owen scoffed.

With fury, Amelia argued, "What the hell is with you? _You_ screw up and assume I'm getting high. _You_ come home and take your anger and exhaustion out on our 6 year old's back end. _You_ storm off and call me names, but somehow _I'm_ the bitch in this scenario?" She paused and looked away for a moment before continuing. "I need to know you care," she admitted with a trembling lower lip.

"Mia, I'm sorry," Owen offered without sincerity. "Now's not the time. I'm swamped up here, I'm probably needed in the ER and…"

"And the fact that your family needs you falls to the bottom of the list once again," Amelia interrupted and concluded his sentence.

"Amelia, that's not fair," Owen protested.

"What is fair, Owen? Huh? Your temper? Is that fair to everyone else? Your assumptions? Are those fair? 'Oh, I found drugs in the house. I'm sure they must belong to my addict wife.'" Amelia drilled.

Owen bore his sad, tired blue eyes into Amelia, unsure how to respond. Finally, he proposed, "I think we need a break."

"I don't need coffee, Owen. I need you to stay here and help me work this out," she clarified.

"Not a coffee break, Mia," Owen spelled out with his eyes glued to the floor. "A separation. Time away from each other. We need a break… I… I need a break." He stood up, grabbed a portfolio off his desk and began to stride toward the door.

Amelia stood firmly between her husband and the door, declaring, "You don't get to say that and then walk away."

"What more is there to say?" Owen questioned with exasperation.

"How about 'Let's work this out, Mia' or "Mia, I need some time to sort out my thoughts. Can we talk tomorrow?'… Don't do this to me, Owen," Amelia enjoined.

"I'm doing it to me, Mia. My presence is getting in the way, and I don't know what's wrong with me," Owen tried to clarify.

She shook her head in a silent reply.

After a sincere frown, he requested gently, "Let me know when the house is empty so I can pack without alarming the kids. I'll leave you a draft of initial proposals about temporarily sharing the kids and expenses." He closed his eyes slowly and inhaled deeply before stepping around Amelia and walking out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

At 1:30pm, after juggling with a scheduling nurse for 45 minutes, Amelia successfully postponed her 3pm surgery. With surgery prep no longer necessary, Amelia departed from the hospital. The 2:00pm department head meeting would have to proceed without her and various stacks of paperwork and chart notes would have to wait.

With ninety minutes to spare, Amelia drove to a nearby park. She rummaged around in the back of the Enclave and found the coat Owen often wore when he worked in the yard. With a disappointed sigh, she wrapped herself in its comfortable fabric. The chill in the air required a coat, even if the one available smelled like Owen and was incredibly large on her frame. As long as he was on her mind, she pulled out her cell phone and sent a text that read, _Why don't you pack sometime today before 5:30? Kids and I will home after that. Please don't meet up with us on the driveway this time._

Attempting to empty her mind, Amelia followed the trail that led through small portions of woods, in the middle of grassy knolls, and along the breezy lakeshore. Repeatedly, Amelia inhaled and exhaled slowly and deeply. Spotting an old fallen log, she sat down on it and wrapped her arms around her bent legs. After allowing a few tears to leak out, Amelia began to yell into the crisp air. Spewing her anger, her frustration, and her pain, she bellowed to the expansive universe. Her words were directed at Owen, and she gave herself permission to scream what she would never say to his face. Once she lost her voice, her head fell onto her knees and she sobbed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

As the Department Heads gathered in the Conference Room, Owen peeked at his phone and read Amelia's text. Pursing his lips with frustration, knowing the rest of his day was packed, he jotted himself a note to have Patricia coordinate a different time with Amelia.

"What's on our plate this afternoon, doctors?" Owen inquired.

"Should we wait for Neuro?" Arizona asked.

"No. Let's proceed," Owen glanced up from his notepad briefly.

Arizona raised her eyebrows as she glanced toward Karev and Torres.

Bailey piped up, "I'd like to discuss specialties borrowing Gen Surg nursing staff. We're willing to be team players, but not when it leads to having to arrange substitute staff because our staff are in other ORs."

"Go on," Owen urged. "Lead the discussion."

As Bailey intimidated and insisted, Owen checked out of the discussion and began drafting a list pertaining to the separation:

Lissa, Ryder, Livs every other weekend

Littles every other weekend, staggered with older kids

Scheduled 8am – 4pm and 4pm-midnight, opposite shifts. One week swing, one week days.

Whoever works days handles bedtime.

Swing handles morning drop off and pick ups. Lynne help?

Dr. Wyatt? Therapy? Now? Later?

Amelia = house; Owen = apartment (alternatives if we don't tell the kids what's going on?)

TBD: Holidays? Birthdays? Events? School conferences? Med appointments?

Finances: Owen will cover apartment, apt expenses and 1/3 of house expenses; Amelia will cover 2/3 of house expenses. Other expenses ½ each. Reassess as necessary.

O = truck, A = Boxster. Enclave follows littles. Van stays at house.

"Dr. Hunt?" Bailey beckoned as she cleared her throat. "Do you agree with the plan?"

"Uh, yeah," Owen sputtered. "Excuse me," he requested as he stood to tend to his vibrating phone.

 _Dad! Liss and I have big news to share. You'll be home for dinner tonight?_ Nolan texted. He sent the same message to Amelia. The young couple couldn't wait to share that Lissa would be moving to LA as soon as Nolan bought a house.

 _Good God, please tell me they aren't getting married,_ Owen thought to himself. He sighed, attempting to figure out what to do. Reluctantly, he called Amelia's phone. As much as they didn't want to speak to one another, talking would be the most expeditious method to address this situation. When her voicemail clicked on, Owen hung up and tried again. Reaching voicemail a second time, he typed out a text that read, _Nolan wants me home for dinner tonight. Big news to share, I guess. How do you want to proceed? I'll follow your lead._ Owen hoped for a quick response, noting that she'd be picking the kids up in 5 minutes.

Amelia responded within a minute, _N sent me same note. Tell me they aren't married or getting married._

 _I know, right?!_ Owen replied.

 _If you can be civil, I can also. For the sake of the kids?_ Amelia suggested.

Owen promised, _Yes. I'll be there around 5:30._

 _Let's not mention the separation tonight,_ Amelia advised.

 _Agreed,_ Owen concurred.


	42. Chapter 42 - The Last Supper

**Chapter 42**

A Pivotal Year – The Last Supper

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Monday, January 3**

Amelia picked up the kids, hoping the older ones wouldn't notice her puffy, red eyes under her sunglasses.

"What's up with the shades?" Ryder inquired immediately upon buckling in to the passenger seat.

"There was a break in the clouds earlier that nearly blinded me," Amelia lied as the group drove to Olivia's school.

When she saw the Enclave, Olivia danced happily to the car with a bright smile on her face. Livs reached the car and opened the side door, singing joyfully, "Hello, family."

"Why are you so happy?" Ryder grumbled.

"Nolan and Lissa will be at home when we get there, silly. They'll be back!" Olivia celebrated. The littles clapped and celebrated loudly upon hearing the news. Amelia smirked, wishing happiness was as simple for her as it was for the kids.

As the Enclave arrived minutes later, Nolan and Lissa were leaning on her car and waiting for the troops. Lissa smiled widely and began waving as soon as she spotted the car. Nolan ran up to Ryder's window and pounded on it, causing his little brother to shake his head and stare blankly. The littles all began calling Nolan's name.

Able and allowed to unbuckle herself, Olivia hugged Nolan before anyone else had an opportunity. She fell into his arms as he embraced her, twirled her around, and set her feet on the ground. "I missed you guys!" Olivia declared.

"Who'd you miss more: me or Liss?" Nolan quizzed as he turned toward the car to grab another sibling.

Olivia skipped toward Lissa and responded with a gleam in her eye, "It's a tie." Lissa hugged Livs and the two started talking over one another and sharing stories.

"Me next! Me next!" Lucas bellowed as his body hopped up and down in his car seat.

Nolan reached over the twins, giving each one of them a quick kiss, and unbuckled Lucas, "Lucas! My man! What's going on?"

"Put me on your shoulders!" Lucas begged. Nolan laughed and delayed his youngest brother as he unbuckled the twins simultaneously and held one in each arm.

"I like your haircut, Nolan," Anna observed. "It's super handsome."

Amelia, sunglasses still on, approached and hugged her son tightly, "I missed you, Nole. I'm glad you're home."

"Thanks for that bag, Mom. Helpful and useful," Nolan quipped as Lissa called out Nolan's name when she heard his words.

With a slight chuckle, Amelia cocked her head and smirked, "Good to know… I think." She called out to everyone, "Let's get dinner started everyone. Daddy should be here soon."

"This early?" Nolan sought to confirm, surprised that Owen would be home before 5 pm.

"He'll be here before we know it," Amelia stated. She headed toward Lissa and hugged her tightly, "Liss!"

"Hi, Amma," Lissa exclaimed.

Putting her arm around her future daughter-in-law, Amelia celebrated, "It's wonderful to see you, Lissa."

Walking arm in arm, Amelia and Lissa walked to the house and into the kitchen. Olivia and the littles eagerly followed, hoping to be given a task. As ingredients were retrieved and mixed, the meal began to come together. Olivia and the littles soon lost interest in cooking and headed upstairs to play. Meanwhile, Ryder asked Nolan if they could walk over to the treehouse.

Once the main course was in the oven, Amelia and Lissa sat on barstools and chatted. Lissa felt incredibly awkward knowing that Amelia knew she and Nolan were no longer virgins.

"So tell me about it," Amelia encouraged, referring to the trip in its entirety.

"Umm…" Lissa paused, wondering what Amelia meant by 'it'.

"The trip. Going to the house. Victoria," Amelia clarified.

Lissa's eyes widened and brightened as she shared details about her birthday surprises. From there, she described the comfortable energy of the house and repeated some of the stories Nolan had shared with her about his parents and life in Canada. "How about you guys? Fun New Year's Eve?" she inquired.

Amelia hesitated, then shrugged, "We worked. Kids were farmed out."

Soon, the clock read 5:20 and everyone heard the garage door open. "Daddy's home! Daddy's home!" Lucas yelled as he ran around in a frenzy as Bogey and Barkley trailed behind him.

"And if he sees you running, what's going to happen?" Amelia questioned. Shifting to hopping up and down, Lucas eagerly waited at the door to the garage.

When Owen stepped through the door as if it were any other night, he spotted Luke immediately. Lucas called out, "Daddy!"

Reaching down, he scooped Lucas into his arms and hollered playfully, "Lucas! How's my boy?"

"I'm good. We wrote our names in school and our address. Our whole, whole name with middle name and everything. And my middle name is your name so I know how to write your name now. Wanna see?" Lucas announced with enthusiasm.

"You bet," Owen celebrated as Lucas directed him to his backpack. Glancing quickly at Amelia with a slight hint of a half-hearted grin, Owen nodded when he and his wife met each other's eyes. As Lucas tore through his backpack, Owen smiled widely and yelled with joy, "Lissa! I'll be right over."

Amelia slipped off to the bathroom just off the kitchen, not wanting to be near Owen any more than necessary.

"See, Daddy! See!" Lucas celebrated as he held his paper.

"Wow, Luke. Amazing!" Owen proclaimed. "Let's go show Lissa – Daddy wants to say hi to her."

Lucas grasped the paper and ran at full speed to Lissa. Uncharacteristically, Owen grinned as he watched Lucas run in the house. He spread out his arms and embraced Lissa in a bear hug, "It's good to see you, honey. Man, I missed you."

"Hi, Dads," Lissa greeted as they hugged. Owen's fatherly hug filled Lissa with peace – in so many ways, he had truly become her father over the years.

Owen pulled his arms back and placed his hands on Lissa's shoulders, "How was the trip? Did you like Canada?"

"It was amazing, Dads. We had a wonderful time. Oh, Jessica sends her greetings," Lissa shared.

"Great. I don't know what we would have done without Jessica's help all these years." Owen scanned the room and wondered, "Where's Nolan?"

"He and Ryder are on a walk," Lissa explained. Amelia emerged from the bathroom, disappointed that Owen was still in the kitchen. Attempting to fake a happy relationship, she quickly greeted him from the other side of the room as she checked the oven, "Hey, O."

With a forced grin, Owen managed to offer a brief, "Mia. Can I help with anything?"

"I'm all good," Amelia replied with her back to Owen.

Returning his attention to Lissa and smiling proudly, Owen lowered his brows slightly and narrowed his eyes with curiosity, "What's different about you?"

"What do you mean?" Lissa inquired with confusion.

"You look… different. In a good way. A great way, actually. Did you get a haircut?" Owen observed as Amelia sputtered out a stifled laugh. She was tempted to yell, _They did the nasty, Owen!_

"Nope," Lissa grinned. "The trip was really low key, maybe I look more relaxed than I did when we left."

"No," Owen responded, "It's something else… can't put my finger on it." He hugged her again and kissed the top of her head, "Glad you're back safe and sound, Larissa."

"Daddy!" Ria called out from the playroom. "Come see our fort!"

Again, Owen grinned at Amelia awkwardly before proceeding to the playroom. Soon, sounds of a playfully growling Daddy and screaming little girls sounded from the space.

"Is everything ok, Amma?" Lissa questioned.

"What do you mean?" Amelia played dumb.

Lissa grimaced as she recalled the minimal and strange interactions between Amelia and Owen since he arrived. "You two seem… I dunno. Disconnected? Different?"

With a sigh, Amelia faked her explanation, "We've both been working so much, Liss. I feel like a zombie and I bet he does too."

"Hmm…" Lissa mumbled, unconvinced by Amelia's explanation.

Before long, the boys returned from their walk and the family gathered around the table for dinner. Owen's over-acted joy was refreshing to those who had recently felt they'd been living with an angry bear. For the most part, Nolan led the conversation as he described sights from Victoria and told stories about the trip.

"On her birthday, I gave Lissa a spa day, then we had pictures taken. After the pictures, we had dinner at the Empress," he proudly shared. "Here, look. Flip through these pictures – there's probably 10 or so. Let Mom and Dad see first," he encouraged as he handed his phone to Ryder, who passed it down to Amelia.

"Beautiful," Amelia cooed. "Liss, when did you buy that gorgeous dress? I don't remember ever seeing it." Owen craned his neck, attempting to view the pictures.

Lissa explained how she'd come upon the dress as one of three selections. She described the other two in detail and then looked dreamily at Nolan as she bragged, "Nolan spoiled me rotten that day. I felt like a princess."

"You _are_ my princess," the sappy 18 year old declared as he placed his arm around her and kissed her cheek.

"Ugh," Ryder moaned.

Attempting to ignore Ryder, Amelia piped up, "You mentioned you have big news, Nolan."

Nolan and Lissa looked at each other with wide smiles. "Well, we were going to tell you and Dad after dinner."

"No, I want to know," Olivia begged.

"Me, too, Nolan!" Ria added.

"Go ahead," Owen stated with a smile, "tell us all."

Nolan caught Lissa's eye again and then bravely met his father's eyes, "I'm going to look for a house near campus when I go back to school. As soon as I find one, Liss is going to move down to LA."

"Oh," Amelia attempted not to choke as she chewed a bite of food, which gave her reaction a bit of cover. _Holy crap_ , she thought to herself, _you guys are 18! Eighteen!_

"What a surprise," Owen voiced flatly.

Olivia responded with enthusiasm, "Can I come visit you guys?"

"Sure, probably at some point," Lissa smiled.

"Us too! Me and Anna?" Ria questioned.

"We'll figure something out," Lissa promised.

Interrupting, Owen announced, "How about if you kids hang out with Nolan before he leaves for school tomorrow? Mom and I will clean up." Stunned by the words that had never come out of Owen's mouth before, everyone quickly scattered before he regained his sanity and changed his mind.

As he left the table, Nolan clarified, "Actually, I rescheduled my plans. I'm not leaving until early Sunday morning."

"It'll be great to have you around a few more days," Owen grinned.

Amelia and Owen were left sitting at the table alone. She kidded, "Who said I wanted to clean the kitchen?"

"I thought it would give us a chance to talk about the kids and their plan to move in together. Plus… we have that other stuff to at least begin to sort out," Owen explained as he stood up and cleared as many of the dishes as he could balance.

As soon as he reached the kitchen, he started rinsing plates. While he loaded the dishwasher, Amelia walked up with her hands full of plates. Instinctively, Owen helped her set the load down safely before confirming, "Do you want to clean the kitchen while I do dishes or vice versa?"

"You're doing great," Amelia quipped. "Keep going there, Tiger."

As Amelia wiped down the counters and put the leftovers into containers, Owen began, "I guess there's nothing we can do about their plan."

"I know. I was thinking the same thing," Amelia admitted. "I'm not even sure talking to them about it would be a good idea. They might not understand our hesitation."

"Exactly," Owen nodded. _At least we agree on something,_ Owen realized. "I… uh… well, you were missed at the department head meeting today."

"I needed to get the hell away from there," Amelia noted before throwing a curve ball. "Besides, someone had to pick up the kids."

"Right," Owen affirmed, immediately regretting that he'd brought up the subject. With a half scoff, he confessed, "It was fairly uneventful. Miranda had a bee in her bonnet about nursing staff being plucked from Gen Surg. I tuned out and…" he paused, wondering if that was how he wanted to introduce his draft of their possible terms.

With her head in the fridge as she re-arranged it to create more space, Amelia uttered, "You tuned out and what?"

Owen reached out and turned off the water then grabbed a dish towel and dried his hands. Turning around and leaning against the counter, he reached in to his pocket and revealed, "I drafted this. It's still in rough form… just some thoughts at this point. Nothing is written in stone."

The heading on the paper read, "Separation Agreement – Draft One." Amelia cleared her throat and a small acknowledgement of her shock was heard, "Oh."

"If you don't want to talk about it now…" Owen began as he hung his head and swayed it back and forth.

"Shhh," Amelia hushed gently as she held up a finger, "Let me read."

Owen bit his lips and looked around the living room and kitchen as he waited. The amount of time Amelia studied the paper seemed like an eternity. Eventually, she set the paper down and informed him in a professional tone, "I don't want the Boxster and I don't plan on driving the truck. I'll drive the Enclave. You can have any of the other cars or leave some of them here. Lynne will need the van, I guess. Meeting with Dr. Wyatt is a wise option – why don't you set that up with her and let me know?"

"Sure," Owen agreed, surprised Amelia responded with detailed feedback.

She continued, "I'd assume we'll both attend performances, conferences, that kind of thing. We can split medical appointments down the middle, or both go if it's something serious. When will the shifts change to this schedule?"

"As soon as next Monday, I guess," Owen shrugged as he cleared his throat.

"Then let's tell the kids on Sunday. I don't want to ruin Nolan's last night at home," Amelia planned.

"Next Sunday," Owen echoed without emotion. "I can stay at the hotel until then and what? Come by now and then or something?"

"What's your schedule this week?" Amelia inquired formally.

"9-6 Tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday. Off Friday. Overnight Saturday, starting at 4pm, I think," he detailed.

"Why don't you wake the kids up the next three days and do drop offs. I can cover pick-ups. You can have them overnight on Friday… here, I mean, since they won't know yet. I'll grab an overnight at the hospital and stay out of the way," Amelia summarized as if she was planning an official function or surgery.

"I guess… that's it then. For now," Owen voiced sadly.

"One last item," Amelia added. "You and I need to sit down with Ryder about the pot. How do you want to handle that?"

"Hell… I have no idea," Owen admitted. "I told the boys a long time ago that I'd call the police if they ever drank or had a party again. Drugs were a part of that threat, I think."

"Great," Amelia grumbled. "Then guess what you have to do?"

"I was thinking about calling Larry. Having him sit down with Ry and scare him a little. Nothing official," he communicated.

"I can live with that," Amelia consented. "What about consequences from us?"

"What do you think?" Owen questioned. He wisely stopped himself short of saying, _since you're the one who gets all this._

"We need to hit him where it hurts," Amelia pondered as she narrowed her eyes to consider options.

Misunderstanding, Owen reacted, "What?!"

"Not like that," Amelia shook her head impatiently. "What's he value most? Electronics are kind of a big deal, but don't seem to have the same impact they used to have." She paused and continued to think.

"Soccer is his life," Owen reluctantly acknowledged. He didn't want to take it away from Ryder, but he knew doing so would be effective.

"Hmm…he needs the physical outlet or he short-circuits," Amelia pointed out. "But we could pull him from a few games and a couple tournaments."

Owen closed his eyes with regret and whispered, "Sounds good."

"I'll go call the coach, then we can talk to him before you leave. Do you need to pack anything tonight?" Amelia wondered.

"No. I have what I need for now," Owen clarified.

While Amelia went to the office to call the coach behind closed doors, Owen stood still and continued leaning on the counter.

Nolan came in, sweaty from playing with the kids. He smiled and mentioned, "I'm dying of thirst. You want anything?"

"Any beer in there?" Owen mumbled.

"Here," Nolan said as he held out two options.

Owen grabbed a microbrew and muttered, "Thanks."

As he closed the fridge door, Nolan looked at his father, "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," Owen responded flatly. "I'll… I'll be in touch later in the week."

"About?" Nolan inquired.

"Long story, Nolan," Owen briefed. "Canada was great, huh?"

"Dad, I can't even begin to describe it. Everything. I mean, really, _everything_ ," Nolan purported.

"Everything, huh?" Owen repeated. "As in…?"

"You know," Nolan hinted as he raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes. Studying his clues, Owen was still flummoxed. Adding to the picture, Nolan leaned close to Owen and attempted to hint toward what he thought Owen already knew, "The bag that Mom gave us? The condoms? You know… we… uh… used them all."

"Oh, sure," Owen faked as if he wasn't about to fly through the roof. With a forced half-laugh, he patted Nolan's back and declared with a pasted-on grin, "Umm… congratulations, I guess. Not sure what to say… I've never encountered this part of parenting."

"Thanks… I guess," Nolan mimicked. "It's new to me too."

Amelia breezed into the kitchen, already talking, "Two tournaments and the next three games. All are away. He'll still be required at practices. We're good to go… oh, hey, Nolan."

"Nolan was just sharing some of his… adventures with your gift bag. I mean, no details, that'd be bad…wrong. But, uh, sharing the news," Owen sputtered with an expression of rage only seen by Amelia.

Pursing her lips and tilting her head, Amelia quipped, "That's our boy… or our man now, I guess." She patted Nolan on the back as she walked out of the area and announced, "I'll be right back with Ryder."

Owen filled Nolan in on what was about to occur and requested that Nolan keep the other kids as engaged and unaware as possible. When Amelia and Ryder walked up to him, Owen announced sternly, "Let's go up to the office, Ryder."

"Why?" the teen protested.

"First off, because that's what we're going to do. Second, because I'm fairly sure you don't want to piss us off right now," Owen declared as he headed upstairs.

Once in the office, Owen moved one of the side chairs next to his desk chair for Amelia. He pointed to the other side chair and ordered, "Have a seat, Ry."

"What the hell is going on?" Ryder sneered.

"We'd like to chat with you about the pot," Amelia steadily stated.

"Chat with me or bitch me out?" Ryder countered as he folded his arms and slumped in his seat.

"The language stops _now_ , Ryder," Owen warned. "Now is not the time to test me… us."

"Sorry," Ryder mumbled quietly as he hung his head.

Drilling his son, Owen ordered, "Try that again."

"I'm sorry, Sir," Ryder offered as he met Owen's eye. Highly aware that Owen was on the edge of erupting, Ryder attempted to do his best to cooperate.

Owen looked at Amelia, as if to ask who was speaking next. Amelia assumed the lead and calmly continued, "We're not going to scream and yell, Ry. That does nobody any good. Dad and I have talked and given this a great deal of thought. If you want to ask any questions or peacefully discuss the consequences, we're here to do that. If you feel ready to explode, I suggest you leave the room. Got it?"

Watching his wife and listening to her words, Owen was highly impressed with her methods. He wondered internally why he'd never really offered her the lead much before. The calm and cool approach seemed much more effective than his bellowing.

"Yes, Ma'am," Ryder responded respectfully, on the verge of tears and terrified with the details about to unfold. His foot tapped nervously as he nibbled on his bottom lip.

"Dad has been in touch with an officer he and I have worked with through the hospital. You'll be meeting with him soon," Amelia began as Ryder's eyes welled with tears and he swallowed slowly. "In addition, while you'll still attend and be expected to attend soccer practice, you're not playing in the next three games nor the next two tournaments."

Taking a deep, slow breath, Ryder squeaked out, "Is there more?"

"No," Owen affirmed clearly.

"Excuse me," Ryder announced as he stood up and slowly walked to his room. When he reached it, he closed his door smoothly and was not heard from the rest of the night.

"Great job, Mia," Owen, with tears welling in his eyes, offered as he patted Amelia's shoulder. "You handled that phenomenally well."

"Thank you," Amelia nodded.

"If you can tell the kids that the hospital called me in…" Owen suggested.

"Yeah, you best get going," Amelia acknowledged without eyeing her husband.

Owen slid his chair back and stood up. After pausing in the doorway to gaze at Amelia, he quietly descended the stairs and headed to the garage. Within minutes, he arrived at The Four Seasons and immediately went to bed.


	43. Chapter 43 - It's Not Easy Being 13

**Chapter 43**

A Pivotal Year – It's Not Easy Being 13

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Saturday, January 8**

"Ryder! Let's go!" Nolan hollered outside Ryder's doorway. They were already running 10 minutes behind and Nolan had spent the last hour repeatedly urging Ryder to get out of bed and get dressed.

"I know!" the little brother growled back. "I'm almost ready."

"You said that 15 minutes ago," Nolan reminded him.

"Just a sec, just a sec. I'll be right down," Ryder promised.

"I'm leaving in 5 minutes, with or without you," Nolan declared with frustration. On the other side of the door, Ryder imitated his fuming brother and knew that Nolan wouldn't actually leave without him.

Without feeling any guilt, Nolan drove away five minutes later. Nolan waved at his dad when he saw Owen running back toward the house after a morning workout.

When Ryder descended the stairs ten minutes after Nolan's departure, he stood frozen on the porch. He realized Nolan had actually followed through with his threat.

Ryder pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed out a text to Nolan, _Very funny. Ok, ok, so I was running late. Come get me._

 _On your own, little brother,_ Nolan dictated into his phone as he neared the stadium.

Ryder shared his sentiments by writing, _A#$hole._ Nolan rolled his eyes and deleted the exchange.

Returning inside and irritated, Ryder dropped his soccer gear in the middle of the entry and stomped upstairs. He walked in to the Master Bedroom, surprised Amelia wasn't already awake and downstairs. He had forgotten she'd worked overnight and wasn't aware that she'd just arrived home after an exhausting shift that had finally ended at 6:00am.

"Hey, Mom," Ryder whispered, figuring she had overslept anyway.

"What are you doing?!" Owen inquired from behind in an angry but hushed tone. He pulled Ryder into the hallway by his arm and closed the bedroom door.

Ryder rolled his eyes and exhaled loudly, explaining, "Nolan took off for the stadium without me." He failed to mention his own role in the matter. "I need a ride so I was gonna ask Mom."

"No, no you aren't asking Mom," Owen growled impatiently at his son. "Mom just came home a couple hours ago and has been up since yesterday morning. She needs to sleep."

"Can you take me then?" Ryder requested with an irritable and edgy tone of voice. All week long, everyone seemed to be on edge. No matter what Ryder said or did, everyone from his parents to his youngest siblings reacted with short tempers and snapping words.

Owen huffed in frustration. Frowning at Ryder, he grumbled, "I suppose. Let me change my shirt and I'll meet you in the garage." As he began to open the bedroom door, he looked over his shoulder and cautioned, "Don't dawdle."

"Ok…geez," Ryder stewed.

After throwing his sweaty, drenched shirt into the hamper and quickly drying himself off a little with a nearby towel, Owen threw on a clean t-shirt and grabbed his keys to the Boxster. He noted the time and ran down the stairs and into the garage.

"What are you doing?" Owen questioned with a hint of aggravation when he saw Ryder sitting in the Enclave. Ryder interpreted Owen's question as if Owen was stating that Ryder was a clueless idiot.

"I'm waiting for you," the young teen snapped back.

Owen proceeded to the Boxster and opened the driver's door as he shook his head, "You'll be waiting there quite a while. Here's what I'm driving."

"My gear's already in here," Ryder argued.

Pushing buttons to pop the trunk and to open the garage door, Owen instructed, "Then move it. C'mon, Ry, I don't have a ton of time. I want to be back before the kids wake up so they don't bother Mom."

Ryder mumbled words of disgust under his breath and grabbed his gear. After loading it in the Boxster's trunk, he sat down in the passenger seat as Owen regarded him with raised eyebrows and a stare. Owen pulled out of the garage quickly, before Ryder had his seatbelt buckled. _At least the driving will be awesome,_ Ryder thought to himself. He loved when Owen drove the Boxster when he was angry – he took corners fast, accelerated at twice the normal rate, and flew around any cars not driving over the speed limit. Of course, Ryder would never admit to Owen that he enjoyed the ride; he'd rather appear to live in constant embarrassment and disgust when it came to his dad.

As the radio blared loudly through the sound system, Owen drove like Ryder had predicted. Neither said a word to the other until two-thirds of the way to the stadium. At that point, Owen turned down the radio and began to lean into Ryder.

"Life can't always be about you and your needs, you know," the cranky father began.

"Yeah," Ryder groaned reluctantly, knowing this was just an opening line to a lecture.

"I mean, c'mon, Ryder. Really. Nolan leaves because you're dicking around, but you still feel entitled to wake up your exhausted mom because _you_ need a ride," Owen steamed. He paused for Ryder to respond. Hearing nothing, he snapped, "Do you hear what I'm saying?"

"Yes," Ryder spat.

"Excuse me?" Owen pushed as he raised his voice. Ryder knew exactly what Owen was hoping to hear – his father was in the mood to demand respect. The last words Ryder wanted to utter were 'yes, sir.' Instead, Ryder turned and looked out the passenger window. He was thankful the stadium wasn't much further away.

In Owen's worked up tizzy, he couldn't stand being ignored. With a tightened jaw, he threatened, "Ryder Blake Hunt, should we just turn around and go home?"

"No, sir," Ryder mumbled without facing Owen.

"What was that?" Owen ranted even though he'd heard Ryder's response.

"No, sir," Ryder yelled as he looked Owen square in the eye with contempt.

Owen pulled over, which Ryder knew was not a good sign, and slammed his hands onto the steering wheel. "What the hell is your problem, Ryder?"

"Hey… all I needed was a ride," Ryder blustered as he tried to back pedal.

"Not just right now, I mean in general," Owen clarified. "You're sarcasm has sunk to new levels of rude. You're mouthy, entitled, and stand offish…"

Ryder interrupted, retorting, "How much would you want to hang around someone who has nothing positive to say about you? Huh, Dad? It sucks." He could feel his fury beginning to evaporate, leaving only angry tears. However, he wasn't about to let Owen see him soften.

"Your level of disrespect astounds me, Ryder," Owen stated in a normal volume. He shook his head repeatedly as he gazed out the front window. A heavy silence weighed them both down. Their similar stubborn natures both refused to budge.

After a minute of tension, Ryder reached for the door handle and suggested flatly, "Maybe I should just walk from here."

With serious anger, Owen warned in staccato fashion, "Get your hand off that handle or there'll be hell to pay."

"Why?" Ryder questioned as he furrowed his brows and threw his hands in the air in resignation. Then exploding loudly with boiling anger, "Why are you so determined to ride my ass from here to who knows where, Dad? Huh? What the hell have I done to piss you off this royally? It's been like this ever since you adopted me. I'm always an inconvenience to you, and you're always pissed at me or blaming me for something. What's the problem, huh? Olivia's adorable and Nolan is the Wonder Child… and then there's me. I'm just a pain in the ass, aren't I? An inconvenience who has experimented with weed. Well I'm sorry I've been such a burden all these years."

Slowly closing his eyes, Owen exhaled. He placed his hand over his eyes and mumbled, "You're the victim here, huh?"

Daring to call his dad by his first name and continuing to sneer, Ryder added, "Believe me, Owen, I'm counting down the next four years just like you are. Then I'll be out of your f #$ing life, ok?" Ryder's eyes burned with fire as he inhaled and exhaled deeply. Just barely beneath the surface, great depths of pain waited to be discovered. Turning away from Owen, Ryder mumbled, "I'd leave now if I could."

Owen was dumbstruck. His own heart broke to hear Ryder's pain and impressions, yet he was at the end of his rope with the yelling, cussing, and disrespect. At some level, Owen knew that Ryder didn't really mean to convey the amount of intensity and accusation that he just had. Being his age meant not necessarily having the ability to communicate in nuanced ways. Just the same, Ryder had just thrown a knife into Owen's heart and left his father furious on the outside and deflated on the inside.

Resting his elbow on the steering wheel and his fist over his mouth, Owen tried mightily to ground himself emotionally. As he attempted to do so, he prayed Ryder would stay in the car; however, Owen knew he wouldn't chase him if he left. Considering his options, Owen knew with certainty that more yelling would only complicate matters. Trying to put a hand on Ryder's shoulder might result in thrown punches.

As furious as he was and as much as he wanted to work out the harsh words he had just encountered, Owen decided that his goals would have to wait for another time. Instead, he pursed his lips and sincerely apologized. "I'm sorry, Ry. I… uh… I'm so sorry that I've said and done things to hurt you." Sensing that he was about to break down into tears, Owen wouldn't let himself continue to speak. Just a foot or two away, Ryder chose not to respond, knowing that he too would cry if he spoke.

An intense yet calmer silence lingered in the air for at least five minutes.

Eventually, Owen broke the blaring quiet and said with resignation, "We'll have to sort this all out later, Ryder. Still feel like soccer or would you rather head home?"

"Stadium would be great," Ryder responded absently.

Slowly, Owen pulled back onto the road and drove the rest of the way to their destination. When he stopped in front of the doors, Ryder hopped out before Owen could say a word. Owen jumped out and pulled the gear out of the trunk, "Hey, Ry, don't forget all this."

Ryder stepped back and grasped hold of the bag and turned back toward the stadium immediately.

Owen put a hand on Ryder's shoulder and offered vulnerably, "I love you, Ryder."

Shaking his head and putting up a hand to steel his thin veneer of bravado, Ryder turned and walked through the doors.

Once Ryder made his way down to the field, he paused and leaned against a wall before heading toward the guys. He forced himself to slow his breathing. After centering himself a bit, he walked onto the field and happened to encounter Nolan before anyone else. Nolan was running toward him on his way to the other side of the field.

"You made it, huh?" Nolan taunted as he approached his little brother.

"F*$# you," Ryder sneered.

Turning to face Ry and running backward, Nolan huffed, "Oh… so you don't need a ride home?" As soon as Nolan turned around, Ryder beaned him with a soccer ball to the head. Standing nearly a foot taller than his sibling, Nolan rushed toward Ryder and stood within inches of him. Uncharacteristically, Nolan shoved Ryder's shoulder and warned, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Ryder. Knock it off."

Not thinking through the consequences of his next action, Ryder punched his brother in the gut hard. Nolan's arm wrapped Ryder into a headlock with lightning speed as Nolan threatened, "Really want to go there?"

"Let go of me, you asshole," Ryder protested.

"Oh, I can make it even worse for you," Nolan, amped up on testosterone, threatened. Even Nolan was tense and hostile. What the hell was in the air?

"Woah, Nole… let him go," Chris urged after he ran over and reached the pair. Nolan glared at his friend who then put a hand on Nolan's shoulder and calmly encouraged, "C'mon, dude."

"Find your own way home," Nolan sneered as Chris pushed him away.

Embarrassed, furious, and devastated, Ryder slunk off the field and hoped his departure went unnoticed. He hid out in a bathroom and let his tears fall. Each teardrop only increased his self-loathing. He wanted to get high, to just escape the moment. He knew a few guys who were on the field who probably had weed with them, but he was too humiliated by Nolan's headlock to return to the area.

His phone sat on the floor about a foot away from him. Just as Ryder was about to reach out and grab it to text one of his friends who smoked, the phone sounded a text alert. Looking down at the screen, Ry saw that Nolan had sent a message. Ryder pulled up the message that read, _Hey. If you need a ride, I can take you home. I'm still pissed but I promise not to pummel you._

Ryder scoffed. The message was Nolan's attempt at humor. Besides Owen, the last person Ryder wanted to see was Nolan. He responded, _No thanks._

Surprised by the response, Nolan stared at Ryder's message. He was concerned that Owen and Amelia would be on his case if he left Ryder at the stadium, yet he wasn't about to try to force Ryder to do something he didn't want to do.

 _How will you get home then?_ Nolan reasoned.

Ryder typed back, _None of your f#$%ing business._

 _Last chance,_ Nolan texted. While he waiting for a response, he ducked in a bathroom to pee. Assuming he was alone in the nearly abandoned stadium, Nolan nearly jumped when he heard Ryder's text tone.

"Ryder? You in here?" Nolan called out after washing his hands. He heard sniffling, but no words. "Hey, I'm sorry, Ryder. Let's go home."

Stepping out of a stall, Ryder wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Truce?" Nolan offered as he extended his hand toward his brother.

With great hesitation, Ryder lifted his hand and moved it onto Nolan's. Nolan hugged his little brother and messed up his hair, instructing with care, "Don't ever punch me in the gut again, Ryder."

"Whatever," Ryder huffed.

The brothers loaded their gear into Lissa's car and drove out of the parking lot.

Ryder requested, "Can we _not_ go home?"

"What do you mean? Why?" Nolan asked.

"Dad and I fought on the way here. I really don't want to see him," Ryder explained.

"He's working at 4, he won't be home all day," Nolan shared.

Ryder glanced at his brother and decided to find out what Nolan knew about their parents, "What's up with them, anyway? Mom and Dad. They've been weird."

"You really want me to tell you?" Nolan confirmed.

"Yeah," Ryder nodded.

"Dad's moving out. Temporarily. They're going to try a separation. I guess they've been having a tough time," Nolan disclosed.

"How do you know that?" Ryder wondered.

"Lissa and I have overheard different conversations this week. We were talking about what we'd heard and put it all together. I asked Dad last night after everyone else was in bed. After denying it at first, he finally came clean," Nolan detailed.

"No wonder he's been so crabby," Ryder pondered aloud. "Did he tell you anything about custody?"

"Nothing," Nolan responded.

"In Mom's will – our mom, Kayla, I mean – was there anyone next in line for us?" Ryder questioned.

Nolan glanced over at his brother and noticed how pained Ryder's face appeared. "Ry… spill it. What's on your mind?"

"Like, now that you're 18, can you take custody of me and Olivia?" Ryder hoped.

"No," Nolan corrected. "Besides, I almost beat the hell out of you a few minutes ago, remember?"

"I hate Dad," Ryder admitted. "When he moves out, I'm living with Mom."

"He can be a hard ass, but, Ryder, it's only because he really cares and wants to make sure we don't screw up our lives. I wonder if he feels like he owes it to our bio mom. I've noticed he takes parenting pretty seriously – like the issue is actually that _he_ doesn't want to screw up, like he's scared he'll let down Mom and Dad if we screw up."

"That's just stupid," Ryder blew off the possibility of Owen's self-induced pressure. "Why would he do that?"

"I hate to say it. You're not going to want to hear it," Nolan replied. "Because he loves us and wants the best for us."


	44. Chapter 44 - Let's Talk

**Chapter 44**

A Pivotal Year – Let's Talk

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Saturday, January 8**

A few minutes later, when Nolan pulled off his shirt as he walked into his room, a large bruise was forming on his torso. "Oh, hey, Baby," Nolan smiled when he saw Lissa rummaging through his shirts. Without a doubt, she was in the process of stealing one.

"Holy crud! What happened?!" Lissa gasped. She walked over to Nolan and bent toward the huge red mark on his stomach.

Nolan watched her gently set her hands near the developing bruise and urged with a laugh, "A little lower…"

"You're rude, Nolan," she grinned. "Now, what happened?"

"Ryder," Nolan huffed in hushed tones.

With her mouth dropped open, Lissa inquired quietly, "Are you serious? Ryder did this to you?"

Owen appeared in the doorway and cleared his throat loudly.

Lissa stood up quickly as if she'd been caught. Nolan greeted his dad, "What's up?"

"Not appropriate, you two," Owen growled as he folded his arms. He was still hurting from his conversation with Ryder and felt like crawling into a dark cave.

With a soft laugh, Nolan looked over his shoulder and tried to explain, "Dad, we weren't doing anything like that. I took off my shirt and Liss saw my soccer injury."

Owen stepped in and instructed, "Let me see." He furrowed his brows and motioned, "Lay on your bed." Nolan complied grudgingly and Owen palpated lightly as he questioned, "How'd this happen?"

"I got in the middle of a fight at open soccer – wrong place, wrong time," Nolan lied with a chuckle. Covering the entire abdomen again, Owen palpated more strongly and watched Nolan's face for reactions.

Moving on to tapping various spots in each quadrant, Owen determined, "You need an ultrasound."

"Dad, I'm fine," Nolan insisted.

"Nausea? Vomiting? How's your appetite?" Owen pestered.

"No, no, fine," Nolan grumbled. Owen pressed firmly in the middle of the injury and Nolan winced, exclaiming, "Ouch!"

Although she'd been asleep, Amelia's mother senses kicked into gear when she heard her cub yelp. She jumped out of bed, threw on a robe, and ran down the hall, "What's wrong?"

"Nolan has a little soccer injury. No need for worry," Owen encouraged with love and concern. "I'm sorry we woke you up."

She proceeded into the room and looked at Nolan's bruise, "I'm glad you did. Honey… what happened?"

"I'm fine," Nolan insisted. Glancing at Lissa, Nolan declared, "Having doctors as parents is…"

"Don't say it," Amelia and Owen ordered simultaneously.

Sarcastically, Nolan quipped, "I was going to say delightful, a blessing, such a gift."

Amelia laughed and messed up Nolan's sweaty hair. Turning to Owen, she asked, "Bowel sounds?"

"I don't have my stethoscope with me. It's at the…" he stopped short of saying 'the hotel.' Amelia walked to the bedroom and returned with hers.

She placed it on Nolan's torso and listened. "Good bowel sounds, actually. That's a relief," she reported.

"Mommmmmm," Nolan groaned. "Please stop examining and discussing my bowel. I'm fine." Lissa grinned at her boyfriend as his parents swarmed him. Embarrassed on Nolan's behalf and wondering if Amelia might request a more thorough exam, Lissa excused herself before the trio really got rolling.

"I'm checking you again in an hour," Owen insisted.

"Can I go take a shower now?" Nolan sought to clarify.

"Go, before Chief Hunt rolls you into surgery," Amelia grinned with a wink. Owen glanced up at Amelia with a good-natured scoff followed by a smile.

As he stood and walked out of the room, Nolan glanced at his parents and pointed out kindly, "Smiles. Toward one another. That's a welcome sight."

Awkwardly, Owen and Amelia looked away from one another. Left alone in the room, neither was sure what to say or do. After a brief pause, Owen inhaled deeply and requested with a shaking voice, "I'm sure that I'm the last person you want to have hanging around and I know our agreement was that I'd leave as soon as you woke up today, but I was… I am… wondering, hoping… umm… can we talk?"

Regarding Owen with empathy, Amelia put him at ease, "Owen, really, I'd be happy to chat."

"The bedroom's probably not appropriate," Owen perceived as he stared at the ground. "My office maybe?"

"Sure," she agreed with a soft smile. "Let me throw on some sweats. I'll meet you in a minute."

Owen paced around his office as he waited for Amelia. In a recent one-on-one session, Dr. Wyatt had encouraged him to be vulnerable with Amelia. The thought made his heart stop, but he forced himself to attempt it. Slightly clammy, he wrung his hands and rehearsed the conversation in his head. He smiled when Amelia walked in with her hair in a darling ponytail and wearing yoga pants with a large t-shirt.

"I appreciate you being flexible with our agreement," Owen offered.

"I can tell something is eating at you. What's up?" she questioned with concern.

Owen hesitated. He instantly realized that telling her what had happened meant implicating Ryder, which was not his intent. Hearing Dr. Wyatt's voice echoing in his head, he trudged forward and proceeded. "I gave Ry a ride to soccer this morning and we ended up in a horrible fight."

"Oh?" Amelia acknowledged, attempting not to show any emotion.

"I'd just returned from my run. I walked in to discover he was about to wake you up and ask you for a ride. I got on his case, probably heavier than necessary. I was tense about getting back before the twins and Lucas woke up - I wanted to make sure you got as much sleep as possible. He was already ticked because Nolan left for soccer without him. I guess you could say the ride started off on unstable footing."

"Yep," Amelia laughed with understanding.

Owen continued, "For whatever reason, I felt the need to ask him why he's been so sarcastic, bratty, and entitled. Not a helpful way to express my concern." Amelia nodded and shared a sad expression, clearly grasping Owen's regret. He added, "Ryder reacted. Of course he did. He's 13. He launched into a litany about how I have never had anything positive to say, how he knows he's an inconvenience to me and a pain, and how he can't wait to be 18 and flee my presence. A part of me wanted to fight back, but I back pedaled. I paused and apologized that I'd treated him in a way that caused him pain."

"Sounds like you made a great parental decision when you faced the fork in the road," Amelia affirmed.

"Yeah?" Owen questioned. "Really? I dunno. The pain of his words… man, devastating."

"You took his words as unfiltered, complete truth," she observed.

Owen hung his head down and quietly mumbled, "I did. That's how he feels – like his dad hates him. Poor Kayla and Blake thought they were entrusting someone who was competent, who'd be good with the kids. Instead, they ended up with me. If they could do so from wherever they are now, they would definitely change their wishes about custody."

Studying his slouching, defeated demeanor, Amelia became reflective. "I think you're a fantastic, loving, responsible, reliable parent, Owen. Sure, you bellow sometimes, but so what? You know what else you do? You fret, you care, you encourage and hold accountable… pretty fantastic Dad actions."

"I dunno," Owen sighed without removing his gaze from the floor.

Amelia let silence hang in the air as she sorted out whether to nudge him out of his pity party or to run over and hug him. Instead, by the time she acted, she chose to approach him slowly, stand in front of him, and wait for him to look up. When he did, tears were on the verge of spilling from his eyes.

"Oh, Owen," Amelia grimaced. "Can I hug you?" He nodded and she held him in her arms. "Those words really stung. I'm so sorry… Sometimes, parenthood sucks."

He chuckled in response. Adding reassurance in her own quirky way, Amelia gazed deeply into his eyes and offered, "Completely accepting every word of a review of your parenting from an already angry 13 year old is kind of like asking a new intern to assess the inner workings of a hospital and the teaching and performance of their resident and attending after the intern has fallen apart in the stairway and questioned their choice of careers."

"I suppose you're right," he grinned.

"Of course, I'm right," she winked playfully. "Do you mind if I talk to him about this?"

"That's fine," Owen sighed. "I trust your judgment." The words felt freeing to offer and to hear.

"I'll… see you tomorrow night then, huh?" she inquired, sticking to the separation even though their interaction had just built a bridge.

"If it's ok with you, I was hoping to touch base with Lissa before I left, but I can go now if that's better," he humbly proposed.

Amelia smirked, "That's fine." Repeating his words, she disclosed, "I trust your judgment."

"Thanks," he responded as he left the room.

After only a few minutes of searching for her, Owen found Lissa reading in her bedroom. He leaned through her open door and met her gaze, "Larissa, can we talk?"

"Sure," Lissa replied with hesitation. Nearly always, if she was in some sort of trouble, Nolan was by her side and in trouble with her or Amelia was also present and softening Owen's growling.

"Let's go downstairs," Owen announced as he began to leave the room. As he walked past Lissa, he added, "to my office."

The office. _The office._ Otherwise known as, the place where Owen met with wayward teenagers in need of serious lecturing. To herself, Lissa thought, _Oh great… what now?_

In his familiar and famous words, Owen pointed at the chair across the desk from his and instructed, "Have a seat."

With butterflies in her stomach and a lump in her throat, Lissa slowly eased into the chair as she kept her eyes on Owen and wondered what would happen next.

Owen's chin was toward his chest as he jotted a quick note to himself. Peering up at her from the top of his eyelids, he sighed with a sense of tension and began, "Larissa, you're like a daughter to me."

"I know," she replied meekly, "Kind of how you're like a Dad to me."

Without a change in his expression and without looking away, Owen continued, "Sometimes, it's difficult for Amelia and me when we're concerned about you or your choices when those actions or decisions involve Nolan." Lissa swallowed hard and nodded before dropping her eyes toward the floor.

"I need your eyes up here, Larissa," Owen insisted flatly. With caution, she blinked repeatedly and reluctantly returned her gaze to him. She felt ashamed but wasn't sure why.

Owen continued, "I know talking about sex with me is probably one of your worst nightmares, but we're going to have a conversation." Lissa's heart sunk, wishing mightily for Amelia or Nolan to interrupt and save her. His next words praised her, though, "I'm relieved you used birth control. That was a responsible decision that shows your maturity, not to mention how long you waited before… well, umm… taking that step."

Every ounce of Lissa's ability to self-manage was being utilized to maintain eye contact. She begged, "Dads… this is really incredibly uncomfortable for me."

Pursing his lips, Owen raised his eyebrows as if to say, _And it isn't for me?_ Without commentary on her feedback, he resumed with worry lacing his voice, "Larissa, you're making a huge mistake. Sex adds an entirely new dimension to a relationship. I'm disappointed with your choices. You're 18. You're young. I know you feel mature and think that you're a legal adult now, but, honey, you're still so young. I adore you and Nolan as a couple. I love you both deeply. I hope you end up married someday – I really do, but stop rushing. You both have an entire lifetime ahead of you. There's no need to move to Los Angeles. Absence makes the heart grow stronger, right?" He paused as tears welled in Lissa's eyes. If asked, she wouldn't have been able to explain why she was on the brink of crying even though the words 'I'm disappointed' echoed in her mind.

Eeking out a weak response, Lissa reminded Owen, "But I love him."

"I know," Owen responded perceptively. "Hear me as your father, not as Nolan's Dad, ok? I know I can't force you to do what I'd prefer, but I hope you'll think twice about your next steps as a young woman," he emphasized compassionately. "Explore, see the world. Now is the time to discover who _you_ are – just you, apart from any relationship. Go to college, become a teacher, _then_ consider living together and beyond." He paused to gauge her reception to his words, noticing that her breathing was shallow and increasing and that her face was becoming reddened. She was stressed, maybe scared, maybe angry.

Gently and with deep concern, he shared, "I love you, Larissa. I don't want you to look back to this time and regret the decisions you made." He took a breath and inquired, "Do you hear what I'm trying to say, honey?"

Looking away, Lissa's voice shook as she confessed, "I don't know."

"I'm not trying to hurt you. I want to protect you," Owen explained.

Lissa sniffled and wiped falling tears from her eyes as she nodded. She cleared her throat and asked, "May I be excused, please?"

Owen pursed his lips and breathed deeply. "I'd like to continue the conversation later, but, yes, go ahead."

Without stopping to grab her phone, her purse, or even a coat, Lissa quickly stepped through the front door and gently closed it. Hyperventilating, she hugged herself to stave off the chill in the air as she walked in circles in the driveway. Eventually, she chose to head toward the treehouse and hide away.

Upstairs about half an hour later, Nolan popped his head into the Master Bedroom. With his hair still wet from the shower, he questioned, "Mom, where's Liss?"

Looking up from a medical journal, Amelia shook her head, "She's not up here somewhere?"

"No," Nolan replied with furrowed brows.

"That's strange," Amelia commented. "I don't know what to tell you, Nole."

As she spoke, Owen appeared in the hallway and held up his hand in a still wave, "Amelia, I'm leaving. Tomorrow at dinner? Is that the plan?"

"Yeah," she confirmed, distracted by Lissa's disappearance. "Owen, have you seen Lissa?"

"I think she went for a walk," he informed them without providing detail. "I'll… uh… see you tomorrow then."

He turned to Nolan, knelt down, lifted his shirt, and examined the bruise. Palpating, Owen inquired, "Does this hurt?... Or this?... Where are you on the pain scale?"

"Dad," Nolan chuckled, "Really, I'm fine. My gut hurts when you press it hard because that's where I was punched. My kidneys are fully functioning, there are no puncture wounds in my heart and no stomach acid flowing throughout my body."

Amelia laughed at Nolan's inaccurate assessment of possible medical issues and caught Owen's eye. Owen smiled and suggested, "You might want to stick to the financial field, Son… or start taking every pre-med class you can find." He looked him in the eye with care and continued with sincerity, "Nolan, call me when you arrive in LA, ok? And safe travels."

"Sure," Nolan promised as the two hugged. "You take care, too, Dad," Nolan advised, wishing he didn't know about the separation and wishing it wasn't about to be announced to his siblings. He detested knowing he wouldn't be there for them as they attempted to sort out and process the news.

When Owen stepped away, Amelia inquired, "Nole? Have a minute?" She motioned her head to the side and patted the empty part of the bed next to her. Sitting next to her, Nolan smiled and put his arm around his mom. She mused, "This idea of finding a house in LA…"

"You hate it, don't you?" he hunched.

"No. No, I don't hate it," Amelia assured him. "And I know you are brilliant and mature and wise."

"But…" Nolan interjected.

Smiling, she continued, " _But_ I'd like to encourage you to have someone help consider options. Houses can appear wonderful when you're eager to buy one. Then, if you weren't careful with your selection, you could end up with a money pit."

"Do you have a particular someone in mind?" Nolan wondered.

"Dad would be a great option," Amelia pointed out.

"I'll ask him," Nolan promised. He excused himself, noting, "I'm going to go look for Liss."

Lucas met Nolan in the hallway with a pillowcase tied around his neck like a cape. "What's up, Little Man?" Nolan inquired eagerly.

"I'm a superhero," Lucas announced, still wearing his footie PJs. "I'm gonna show Daddy how I can fly!"

"He left, Luke," Nolan disclosed.

Lucas stopped cold and turned toward his brother, deflated. "He didn't say goodbye to me."

Nolan picked him up, "Maybe he was in a hurry… you know, running late or something."

"But he didn't even say he was leaving," Lucas repeated with sadness.

"Want to help me figure out what to wear today?" Nolan attempted feebly, hoping to distract his brother.

Lucas scrambled and attempted to work his way down to the floor. Nolan set him down and Lucas fell into a puddle, crying. Popping her head out of her bedroom, Amelia asked, "What's wrong?"

"Daddy left without saying goodbye," Lucas cried. "I didn't know he was leaving. Why doesn't he stay at home as much anymore?"

Amelia closed her eyes and walked over to her baby. She sat on the floor and tried to hug Luke. He pushed her away and pouted, "I want Daddy, not you."

"Lucas, that's not very nice," Nolan reprimanded.

"Go away!" Lucas yelled at Nolan uncharacteristically.

Just as Nolan was about to correct his little brother, Amelia whispered, "It's ok, Nole." She turned to Lucas and suggested, "Do you want to call Daddy, Luke?"

Luke glanced up at her with crocodile tears and a pouty lip. He shook his head slowly.

Amelia retrieved her cell and showed Lucas how to find Owen's speed dial. Lucas pushed it and waited for Owen to answer.

"What?" Owen greeted, assuming it was Amelia.

Lucas pulled his head back in surprise before responded, "It's me, Daddy. Lucas. Lucas Owen Hunt."

Changing his tone of voice, Owen spoke into his Bluetooth system, "Hey, buddy. How's my guy?"

"You didn't say goodbye to me before you left. I wanted to show you my superhero powers," Lucas shared.

Owen grimaced, "I'm sorry, Lucas."

"Can you come home and say goodbye to me?" Lucas begged with sincerity.

"Let me talk to Mommy, bud," Owen replied.

"He wants to talk to you," Lucas shared as he held the phone toward Amelia. She stood up and strolled toward her bedroom.

"Owen…" Amelia began.

"Is that ok with you? If I come back to say goodbye to him?" Owen inquired.

"Not really," Amelia admitted. "For his sake, it would be great. However, you're the one who wants the separation, Owen. If you're going to proceed, if you need your time away, then you need to understand the boundaries and realities of your choice."

"Are you serious?" Owen huffed as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Are you?" Amelia pressed, referring to the separation.

"You're being unreasonable, Amelia. He's four. Luke shouldn't have to pay the price for this," Owen insisted.

"You're right, Owen, but you should," Amelia retorted calmly. "I can handle Lucas. You can say goodbye by phone if you want."

"Please," Owen growled.

Amelia walked back out to Lucas and handed him the phone. "Daddy, are you coming back to say goodbye to me and tell me you love me? Then I can tell you I love you, too."

"Buddy, I'm really sorry. Daddy has an emergency at the hospital. I'll bring you a special surprise when I come over tomorrow," Owen promised, not thinking through the ramifications of new patterns.

"Come over? You mean, come home?" Lucas sought to clarify.

Owen sighed to himself, "I love you, Lucas. I'll see you tomorrow, pal. Be a good boy for Mommy today."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``'

Lissa had curled up in a corner in the treehouse and wrapped herself in blankets. When Nolan peeked into the space, he almost didn't see her.

Softly, her voice sounded, "Hi, Trems."

"Baby, what's up?" Nolan asked with concern as he walked toward her.

Lissa didn't want to implicate Owen. The tensions between Nolan and Owen were tenuous enough without adding more fuel to the fire. "I dunno. I'm feeling a little weird," she stated.

Nolan slid under a blanket and put his arm around her, inquiring, "About what?"

"Should we really have had sex? Maybe I wasn't ready," she pondered aloud.

"I didn't pressure you, did I? Liss, tell me I didn't lean on you too much," Nolan begged.

"No, you didn't," she smiled softly at Nolan. "You were and are my complete gentleman."

"Why the second thoughts?" Nolan prodded as he stroked her cheek.

"I'm really glad we did. I loved that connection with you, but maybe we're still too young," Lissa mused.

Nolan leaned his head to the side and looked in Lissa's eyes, "What's up, Liss? Are you scared about the one that broke? Everything's going to be fine, Shorty."

"I'm not scared about that," she reassured him. "Moving to Los Angeles, your parents separating, it all feels overwhelming."

Kissing her cheek, Nolan whispered, "We've got each other, Blondie. What more do we need? When I get back to LA, I'll find the perfect home for us. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you and to share our first house with each other."

Smiling softly, Lissa responded, "You're right. I'm anxious, I guess. But it's all going to be wonderful, isn't it?"

"It is," Nolan declared as he squeezed her closer to him. As long as she was in his arms, Lissa's world felt right.


	45. Chapter 45 - Just Say It

**Chapter 45**

A Pivotal Year – Just Say It

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Mid-January**

 **Monday, January** **10**

The morning after telling the kids they were temporarily separating, Owen and Amelia were both emotionally exhausted. Their plan the night before was to have her put the kids to bed after he left. Owen would come over in the morning, wake the kids, and drive them to school.

Sunday night had been a nightmare for Amelia. Lissa, emotional on her own because Nolan had just departed for USC, was little help. While her tears and sadness were unrelated to the separation, her appearance seemed to have served as a cue for the kids nonetheless. Ryder stormed off to his room throwing visual daggers toward Owen as soon as Owen and Amelia completed their announcement. He refused to talk to Amelia once the littles were asleep. Anna, ever the fixer and unconsciously stepping in for Nolan, assured everyone that she would help Amelia at home and all would be ok until Daddy returned.

The other three kids, Olivia, Lucas, and Ria, each had strong reactions. Olivia ran upstairs and sobbed, insisting that she go with Owen. When he went upstairs to say goodbye, her cries of, "You can't leave me, Daddy…you live _here_ " broke his heart. Lucas stood in front of the door, refusing to let Owen pass through. When Owen knelt down to try to reason with him, Lucas cupped his ears over his head. Ria, ever the gentle soul, worked her way into a corner of the sofa, sniffling and weeping. She raised no fuss, but was obviously hurting. When Amelia put her to bed later, she innocently and gently asked, "Why did you make Daddy leave, Mama?" The naïve question of a six year old did not have an easy, 6 year old level response.

Owen's morning had been sad, but far less dramatic. Ryder glared and tightened his jaw, but said nothing as he chose to sit in the back of the Enclave rather than in the front passenger seat that had become his spot. Olivia clung to Owen, constantly assuring him that she loved him and already missed him. Anna's indifference was a welcome relief, even though her unruffled demeanor should have been concerning. Ria dutifully went about her morning routine, trying not to raise a fuss. When Owen helped her with her brace, she shared from her heart, "You put it on so much better than Mommy. You know just how to do it, Daddy." Lucas was obviously near the end of his rope. One minute, he was focused and compliant. The next minute, he was teary and unable to concentrate. Tending him emotionally became a new task.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

 **Tuesday, January 11**

A day later, the Shepherd Hunts found themselves facing their colleague and therapist. They sat far apart, Amelia in a side chair and Owen on the far end of the sofa.

"Amelia," Dr. Wyatt began, "Owen tells me the two of you need some space."

" _He_ needs space," Amelia corrected with folded arms and a monotone voice.

"You'd prefer not to separate?" Dr. Wyatt attempted to clarify.

"I'd prefer…" Amelia began before immediately holding back tears. She paused to wipe her eyes and breathe. Surrendering to her sadness, she proceeded through her cries, "I'd prefer an apology. I'd prefer a co-parent. I'd prefer a husband whose temper didn't cause his family and co-workers to walk on eggshells."

"She'd prefer perfection," Owen huffed.

"Owen… Amelia's speaking now. You'll have a chance soon," Dr. Wyatt corrected.

"Apology, co-parenting, and temper," Dr. Wyatt echoed. "Tell me more."

Amelia explained what happened when Owen found Ryder's pot and paraphernalia and assumed she was using. She detailed the last few days from her perspective, concluding, "I don't know what I did, but, somehow, I seem to be the problem."

"Owen?" Dr Wyatt inquired. "What did you hear Amelia say?"

"That I'm an ogre, basically," Owen concluded with folded arms and emotional defenses.

"Do you agree with her perspective?" Dr. Wyatt asked, ignoring Owen's self-focus.

"I definitely owe her an apology about the drugs and my assumptions. And, yeah, I've pretty much been an ass," Owen answered. "But I thought some of this laundry list would have been erased after our talk yesterday afternoon."

"Let's come back to yesterday's conversation. Can you tell Amelia that you see your part in the stresses you've both been facing?" Dr. Wyatt encouraged.

With a sigh, Owen tried to fix his gaze on Amelia. He was unable to look at her for more than a few seconds at a time as he admitted, "I owe you an enormous apology, Amelia. I know a few words won't suffice for the damage and hurt I caused. I jumped to a conclusion and assumed you had relapsed. I'm sorry."

"Thank you," Amelia shared softly as she glanced up at her husband.

"Tell me about the temper issues, Owen," Dr. Wyatt prodded.

Studying his thumbs as his hands folded together and his elbows rested on his upper legs, Owen mumbled, "I've been beating myself up ever since the drug test. Everything else has fallen apart from there. I'm angry all the time, I'm tired, stressed. I can't… I can't take on one more issue, one more problem."

"So I'm supposed to rush in and save the day? Take over so you aren't inconvenienced?" Amelia pushed.

"I didn't say that, Mia," Owen responded with regret and shame.

"Then what did you say, Owen? Oh…besides 'I think we need a break'? Who wouldn't want their own private apartment to escape to when life became a challenge?" Amelia yelled before her pager sounded. She peered down and excused herself with an apology as she wiped her tears. "It's St. Frances School. I'll be back as soon as I can."

After Amelia left the room, Dr. Wyatt suggested, "Why don't you give me a recap of the conversation you shared yesterday – the one that seemed to go well."

"I'm inept. Whatever I do seems to make things worse. I don't know how to tell her that," he confirmed. "but I tried yesterday. Ryder and I fought and he unleashed some fury on me – telling me what a horrible father I am and how he can't wait to turn 18 so he can escape from my presence. It stung… I took a chance. I talked to her about it."

"Good job," Dr. Wyatt affirmed. "You were vulnerable and the conversation went well. Marriage is about needing each other. Yesterday, you opened the door and admitted you needed Amelia."

"Yeah…" he began. "Then I come in today and she has her list of gripes."

"One vulnerable conversation is not going to erase other challenges, Owen. Just like physical wounds, emotional bumps and bruises take time and attention to heal. You can't pop one antibiotic, one vulnerable conversation, into the mix and expect everything is resolved," the doctor pointed out. Owen nodded but had no response. After a brief pause, Dr. Wyatt asked, "Why do you need a break, Owen? What's led up to that?"

"Our 18 year old… He's so in love that I'm afraid he'll lose track of his academic and career goals. You know Lissa – she's like one of our own. We love her, but I'm worried about what her relationship with Nolan will do – her identity is wrapped up in being his mate. They just had sex for the first time, using condoms that _Amelia_ provided to them. Ryder is a complete pain in the ass. Ends up he's not only a snarly 13 year old boy who doesn't shower enough. He's smoking weed. Amelia found out and didn't tell me. Who knows if she was ever going to tell me? Olivia, oh Olivia. She's 10 years old and wants to love the whole world. She's old enough now to see that the world isn't all about love, but she's young enough to not understand what she sees. The little ones? They're fine. Mostly fine. Mood swings and various coping mechanisms have popped up since we told them. They saw us fight, yell at each other, saw me storm off that first night. That's not good. I shouldn't have let that happen. Last night was full of emotional fireworks, and I sat there wondering what the hell to say."

"Owen, you're carrying some heavy burdens," Dr. Wyatt affirmed.

"It feels horrible," Owen responded, anticipating her next statement would be a question about how he felt. "I'm a failure as a father, clueless as a husband – especially as a husband of someone in recovery. I need time away to screw my head on. I need to center myself, re-orient my life. I'm crumbling into a million pieces and all that's doing is making me a worse father and husband. And probably a worse Chief, a worse colleague, a worse doctor…"

"You're beating yourself up," Dr. Wyatt summarized.

"I deserve it," Owen insisted. "Last night was hell. The kids… all the tears… leaving her there to deal with bedtime alone."

"Have you told Amelia all this?" Dr. Wyatt sought to clarify.

"No," Owen scoffed. "She wouldn't know what to do with me. Hell, I don't know what to do with me. She doesn't need the burden of my tanked self-image."

Before Dr. Wyatt could respond to Owen, Amelia stepped back into the room. With her gaze fixed on the doctor, she announced, "Lucas bit another child. The principal wants to send him home."

"What?!" Owen responded with shock. "He's never bitten before."

"Sometimes children will bite when they are under tremendous stress," Dr. Wyatt pointed out.

Amelia glanced at Owen with an expression of _Hmm…who caused that stress, asshole?_

"You want me to go get him?" Owen asked and stated simultaneously.

"Lynne's on her way," Amelia informed him, again as she faced the doctor.

A heavy silence filled the room, and Dr. Wyatt waited for someone to speak. After a few minutes and having made eye contact with both Amelia and Owen, Dr. Wyatt stated, "You are both under tremendous stress." Neither responded.

Dr. Wyatt tried again, "What do we hope to accomplish in these sessions?"

"I need to describe my anger and not have it dismissed, scoffed at, or go unheard," Amelia stated without emotion.

Owen huffed in response and rolled his eyes. With a hint of reactivity, he countered, "I need a wife who doesn't hide information about our kids from me and doesn't supply birth control to our kids without discussing it with me first."

Now entering into contest-mode, Amelia added, "Oh! I'd also like to discuss Owen's conviction to spank the little ones. Not only in general, but also related to the last incident with Ria."

"Oh for God's sake, Amelia. Will you let that go? I'd had what? An hour of sleep? I warned her. I counted to three. She whined and didn't obey, she paid for it with a few smacks to her butt. Done and over," Owen protested.

"Done and over? Is that why the kids back away with their hands on their rear when they know they're in trouble, Owen? It used to be bad enough when you disciplined Ryder and Olivia that way in situations involving danger. Now it seems to be your go to method," she claimed.

"It is not," Owen denied. "Let. It. Go. Amelia. We already know we aren't going to agree on this topic."

"Deep breath," Dr. Wyatt interrupted. "I can see this is a volatile topic for you."

"Not for me," Owen denied as he shrugged. "For Amelia? Most certainly."

"Why can't you have faith in my expertise as a parent? Why is your way always the superior option, Owen?" Amelia retorted.

"You don't see me interrupting your brain surgeries, Amelia. I have complete faith in your expertise," he countered.

"Owen, Amelia said in her expertise as a parent," Dr. Wyatt highlighted.

"Oh," he said flatly. "And what, Amelia? I have no expertise as a parent?"

"I didn't say that," Amelia clarified.

Owen tightened his jaw and glared at her, "You didn't have to. I know you think I'm a crappy father."

Protesting, Amelia stood up and placed her hands on her hips, "I have _never_ said that, Owen."

"Has she, Owen?" Dr. Wyatt prodded.

"Actually, no. In fact, she's stated the opposite," Owen admitted.

"Let me sum up what I'm hearing," Dr. Wyatt declared. "There are different parenting styles at play, some sense of inadequacy, concerns about disclosure related to parental decisions, nuances of anger, and communication. I also clearly hear a shared concern for the welfare of your children and a shared love for them. I heard how much the two of you care about one another – if you didn't, these disagreements wouldn't feel so burdensome."

Owen rubbed his hands over his face and added, "And exhaustion. Utter, complete, total exhaustion that doesn't leave energy to deal with it all."

"That's a pretty comprehensive overview. I want you to leave with hope – all of these challenges can be addressed. New patterns can be formed that will satisfy your goals. What I'm hearing most clearly is that time is the enemy, so to speak. If time were available for communication, it would occur. If time were available for rest and relaxation, you would thrive. This week, try saying no to something that can wait and say yes to each other – spend some time together having fun or simply relaxing together. Now...Let's select a time for our next appointment," the doctor concluded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~```'

 **Wednesday, January 12**

The afternoon that he arrived back at USC, Nolan and the realtor toured some houses. The area basically had two price points: $250,000-350,000 for small two or three bedroom houses built in the early 1900s or over $500,000 for larger or more modern homes. Many of the less expensive houses were at least partially restored, but were 1200 square feet or less. Nolan described his favorite options with Lissa and encouraged her to come down and see them. Then he spoke to Owen and asked if he could also visit and weigh in with his thoughts.

On the Wednesday after Nolan had returned to California, Owen and Lissa flew down for a brief visit. Nolan met the pair at the airport midday. After greeting his dad with a quick hug, Nolan smothered Lissa in hugs.

"It's only been a few days, but it's felt like a lifetime," Nolan told her as he brushed his cheek against hers.

She yawned and apologized, "Sorry, I really am thrilled to see you, Trems."

Nolan wrapped his arm around Lissa's shoulders and whispered playfully, "It's fine. I'd be up for a nap."

The three walked to Nolan's Jeep. In a protective and fatherly manner, Owen surveyed the rig and commented, "Jeep looks good. It's running well?"

"Yep," Nolan confirmed. "We're going to go directly to the first house, guys."

The first house, purposely chosen by the realtor to be the first viewing, met neither Lissa's nor Owen's approval. It was 900 square feet with two bedrooms and one tiny bathroom. The yard was adorably landscaped and the wood floors inside had been refinished. However, the bars on the windows, while decorative at first glance, were an off-putting commentary about the neighborhood.

Lissa, relegated to the back seat of the Jeep as the smallest passenger, fell asleep on the way to the second house. When he pulled up in front of a small but adorable Craftsman, Nolan hopped out and turned to help Lissa climb out.

"She's sleeping," Nolan chuckled as he faced his dad.

"Maybe she's prepping for teaching Kindergarten. Nap time is one of the perks right?" Owen teased.

"Go ahead and check it out inside. I'll wake up Sleeping Beauty and meet you in there," Nolan encouraged.

Owen was impressed by the house right away. The porch had been repoured and included a long covered area to its right. The floorplan was open and bright with the front door leading right to the living room that had four large and long windows. Flowing from there was a kitchen with a breakfast nook in the back corner. Because a bar area bordered both the closer and farther end of the kitchen, the back porch was viewable from the front entry. The kitchen had been fully gutted and replaced with quartz countertops and new cabinetry.

To the left, near the back of the living room, was a small hallway. A remodeled bathroom was directly across from the hallway opening, with a bedroom on either side. The back bedroom included a full bath in need of attention and the hallway included two closets and a laundry room.

After Owen had already determined this was the right house for Nolan, Nolan entered with his arm around a yawning Lissa.

With eagerness, Nolan asked her, "What do you think, Blondie? Pretty incredible, huh?"

"Sure," she responded nonchalantly, having not examined the house yet. She wandered toward the bedrooms and met the boys in the breakfast nook a few minutes later.

"So?" Nolan inquired with a smile.

"It's nice. I like it," she frowned, her face sharing her true thoughts. Her enthusiasm was not as strong as Nolan's. She noted, "The master bedroom is a small and the master bath is pretty nasty."

Nolan deflated slightly as the realtor and Owen remained mute. "I know, Blondie, but the bathroom can be remodeled. We can do it the way we want. Come look at the back yard and back porch," he urged.

The small backyard was delightful – fully landscaped with a combination of mature trees and newer shrubs. A river rock trail meandered through it, with little twists and turns, maximizing the design of the space.

"It's small, Nolan," Lissa pointed out from the porch. "I don't hate it, but I'm not sure about it."

"Houses in this area are all going to be small, Larissa," Nolan countered using her full name.

She shrugged and asked, "Didn't you say there was another to see?"

"Yeah, I haven't seen it yet, but the realtor added it because it was just listed," Nolan responded as his shoulders sagged. They walked back to the Jeep and he helped her climb in. Teasing lovingly, Nolan prodded, "No falling asleep this time – it's only about four blocks away."

Instead of responding with her customary giggle, Lissa's face exhibited baffled annoyance. She leaned against the back of the seat and closed her eyes, mostly in defiance. Owen could sense the tension between Nolan and Lissa. He decided to not even make small talk and to just go with the flow.

"Oh, Nolan," Lissa exclaimed when they drove up to House Three. The small front yard was nicely landscaped and the little Victorian appearance was charming. They parked in the driveway and used the walkway to reach the front door.

"There's no porch," Nolan harrumphed. Lissa walked past him and entered the home. The foyer had a half bath to its left and a utility room with a shower to the right. Proceeding further into the home, the galley kitchen appeared on the left and was open to the living room that took up the rest of the depth of the house. The dining room was fully open to the living room and included an open passage to a den. The kitchen also included an open entrance to the den. Turning right from the living room, Lissa found a master bedroom with an especially large walk-in closet, vanity area, and bathroom.

"Nolan," Lissa called from the master suite. Having already determined the den was too strange and the layout was not to his liking, Nolan dragged himself to Lissa.

Laughing from the walk in closet, she proclaimed, "This could be a third bedroom! Look how big it is."

"Liss…" Nolan began.

"Did you see the utility room, Trems? It's so spacious and full of storage," she highlighted.

"The den is weird and the entry is dark," Nolan grumbled.

"Oh, c'mon, Trems," Lissa encouraged. "Let's go look at it together and brainstorm. She pulled him by the hand as she nearly skipped to the den.

Owen, determined to remain in the background, was impressed with the small but remodeled kitchen. He agreed that the den/second bedroom with its non-doored openings to the kitchen and dining room was peculiar. As he studied the room quietly, imagining how it might be remodeled, Lissa entered with Nolan tagging behind.

"You could build a wall here and swap the dining room and the bedroom," she suggested.

"Then you'd have a closet in the dining room," Nolan observed.

"You hate it, don't you?" Lissa said with a forlorn tone.

"I'm not excited about it. What was wrong with the last one, Larissa?" he urged.

"I told you. Nasty bathroom, and small master bedroom," she repeated.

"Larissa," Nolan declared with perturbed insistence, "I'll knock out the back wall and enlarge the bedroom. The rest of the other house is ideal. The living room and kitchen are larger and there are no weird rooms without doors."

Moody and disappointed that Nolan didn't love the third house as much as she did, Lissa sighed, "Ok, whatever. It's your money, Trems." She wandered out to the plain backyard, pretending to consider its merits.

"Give her space," Owen advised Nolan. "House hunting tests a relationship."

"It was kind of fun until her little snit," Nolan grumbled. Nolan left to find the realtor and learn about possible remodeling limitations or permits for the second house.

Lissa came back inside and wandered toward Owen, "Are you as bored as I am?"

He chuckled and suggested, "I think we are all housed out. Maybe we should grab a bite to eat."

"What do you think of this house, Dads?" Lissa inquired.

With a belly laugh, Owen put his arm around Lissa and declared, "No comment. I'm not taking sides."

"Liss," Nolan began as he approached the duo, "the realtor says there shouldn't be a problem getting a remodel permit for a bump out – that's what they call it, I guess. We can even make our offer contingent upon obtaining permits. The cost would still leave us below the cost of this house, _plus_ we wouldn't have to spend money on landscaping and it's much closer to Mount St. Mary's."

"Four blocks closer," Lissa clarified, calling out Nolan's exaggeration.

"There will be days that four blocks feels like a long walk, right?" he winked.

"I'm in," Lissa smiled.

Nolan hugged her and whispered in her ear, "And, remember, it's _our_ money, not my money."


	46. Chapter 46 - Hunting for the Magic

**Chapter 46**

A Pivotal Year – Hunting for the Magic

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle nearly 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Mid-January**

 **Wednesday, January 12**

The afternoon that he arrived back at USC, Nolan and the realtor toured some houses. The area basically had two price points: $250,000-350,000 for small two or three bedroom houses built in the early 1900s or over $500,000 for larger or more modern homes. Many of the less expensive houses were at least partially restored, but were 1200 square feet or less. Nolan described his favorite options with Lissa and encouraged her to come down and see them. Then he spoke to Owen and asked if he could also visit and weigh in with his thoughts.

On the Wednesday after Nolan had returned to California, Owen and Lissa flew down for a brief visit. Nolan met the pair at the airport midday. After greeting his dad with a quick hug, Nolan smothered Lissa in hugs.

"It's only been a few days, but it's felt like a lifetime," Nolan told her as he brushed his cheek against hers.

She yawned and apologized, "Sorry, I really am thrilled to see you, Trems."

Nolan wrapped his arm around Lissa's shoulders and whispered playfully, "It's fine. I'd be up for a nap."

The three walked to Nolan's Jeep. In a protective and fatherly manner, Owen surveyed the rig and commented, "Jeep looks good. It's running well?"

"Yep," Nolan confirmed. "We're going to go directly to the first house, guys."

The first house, purposely chosen by the realtor to be the first viewing, met neither Lissa's nor Owen's approval. It was 900 square feet with two bedrooms and one tiny bathroom. The yard was adorably landscaped and the wood floors inside had been refinished. However, the bars on the windows, while decorative at first glance, were an off-putting commentary about the neighborhood.

Lissa, relegated to the back seat of the Jeep as the smallest passenger, fell asleep on the way to the second house. When he pulled up in front of a small but adorable Craftsman, Nolan hopped out and turned to help Lissa climb out.

"She's sleeping," Nolan chuckled as he faced his dad.

"Maybe she's prepping for teaching Kindergarten. Nap time is one of the perks right?" Owen teased.

"Go ahead and check it out inside. I'll wake up Sleeping Beauty and meet you in there," Nolan encouraged.

Owen was impressed by the house right away. The porch had been repoured and included a long covered area to its right. The floorplan was open and bright with the front door leading right to the living room that had four large and long windows. Flowing from there was a kitchen with a breakfast nook in the back corner. Because a bar area bordered both the closer and farther end of the kitchen, the back porch was viewable from the front entry. The kitchen had been fully gutted and replaced with quartz countertops and new cabinetry.

To the left, near the back of the living room, was a small hallway. A remodeled bathroom was directly across from the hallway opening, with a bedroom on either side. The back bedroom included a full bath in need of attention and the hallway included two closets and a laundry room.

After Owen had already determined this was the right house for Nolan, Nolan entered with his arm around a yawning Lissa.

With eagerness, Nolan asked her, "What do you think, Blondie? Pretty incredible, huh?"

"Sure," she responded nonchalantly, having not examined the house yet. She wandered toward the bedrooms and met the boys in the breakfast nook a few minutes later.

"So?" Nolan inquired with a smile.

"It's nice. I like it," she frowned, her face sharing her true thoughts. Her enthusiasm was not as strong as Nolan's. She noted, "The master bedroom is a small and the master bath is pretty nasty."

Nolan deflated slightly as the realtor and Owen remained mute. "I know, Blondie, but the bathroom can be remodeled. We can do it the way we want. Come look at the back yard and back porch," he urged.

The small backyard was delightful – fully landscaped with a combination of mature trees and newer shrubs. A river rock trail meandered through it, with little twists and turns, maximizing the design of the space.

"It's small, Nolan," Lissa pointed out from the porch. "I don't hate it, but I'm not sure about it."

"Houses in this area are all going to be small, Larissa," Nolan countered using her full name.

She shrugged and asked, "Didn't you say there was another to see?"

"Yeah, I haven't seen it yet, but the realtor added it because it was just listed," Nolan responded as his shoulders sagged. They walked back to the Jeep and he helped her climb in. Teasing lovingly, Nolan prodded, "No falling asleep this time – it's only about four blocks away."

Instead of responding with her customary giggle, Lissa's face exhibited baffled annoyance. She leaned against the back of the seat and closed her eyes, mostly in defiance. Owen could sense the tension between Nolan and Lissa. He decided to not even make small talk and to just go with the flow.

"Oh, Nolan," Lissa exclaimed when they drove up to House Three. The small front yard was nicely landscaped and the little Victorian appearance was charming. They parked in the driveway and used the walkway to reach the front door.

"There's no porch," Nolan harrumphed. Lissa walked past him and entered the home. The foyer had a half bath to its left and a utility room with a shower to the right. Proceeding further into the home, the galley kitchen appeared on the left and was open to the living room that took up the rest of the depth of the house. The dining room was fully open to the living room and included an open passage to a den. The kitchen also included an open entrance to the den. Turning right from the living room, Lissa found a master bedroom with an especially large walk-in closet, vanity area, and bathroom.

"Nolan," Lissa called from the master suite. Having already determined the den was too strange and the layout was not to his liking, Nolan dragged himself to Lissa.

Laughing from the walk in closet, she proclaimed, "This could be a third bedroom! Look how big it is."

"Liss…" Nolan began.

"Did you see the utility room, Trems? It's so spacious and full of storage," she highlighted.

"The den is weird and the entry is dark," Nolan grumbled.

"Oh, c'mon, Trems," Lissa encouraged. "Let's go look at it together and brainstorm. She pulled him by the hand as she nearly skipped to the den.

Owen, determined to remain in the background, was impressed with the small but remodeled kitchen. He agreed that the den/second bedroom with its non-doored openings to the kitchen and dining room was peculiar. As he studied the room quietly, imagining how it might be remodeled, Lissa entered with Nolan tagging behind.

"You could build a wall here and swap the dining room and the bedroom," she suggested.

"Then you'd have a closet in the dining room," Nolan observed.

"You hate it, don't you?" Lissa said with a forlorn tone.

"I'm not excited about it. What was wrong with the last one, Larissa?" he urged.

"I told you. Nasty bathroom, and small master bedroom," she repeated.

"Larissa," Nolan declared with perturbed insistence, "I'll knock out the back wall and enlarge the bedroom. The rest of the other house is ideal. The living room and kitchen are larger and there are no weird rooms without doors."

Moody and disappointed that Nolan didn't love the third house as much as she did, Lissa sighed, "Ok, whatever. It's your money, Trems." She wandered out to the plain backyard, pretending to consider its merits.

"Give her space," Owen advised Nolan. "House hunting tests a relationship."

"It was kind of fun until her little snit," Nolan grumbled. Nolan left to find the realtor and learn about possible remodeling limitations or permits for the second house.

Lissa came back inside and wandered toward Owen, "Are you as bored as I am?"

He chuckled and suggested, "I think we are all housed out. Maybe we should grab a bite to eat."

"What do you think of this house, Dads?" Lissa inquired.

With a belly laugh, Owen put his arm around Lissa and declared, "No comment. I'm not taking sides."

"Liss," Nolan began as he approached the duo, "the realtor says there shouldn't be a problem getting a remodel permit for a bump out – that's what they call it, I guess. We can even make our offer contingent upon obtaining permits. The cost would still leave us below the cost of this house, _plus_ we wouldn't have to spend money on landscaping and it's much closer to Mount St. Mary's."

"Four blocks closer," Lissa clarified, calling out Nolan's exaggeration.

"There will be days that four blocks feels like a long walk, right?" he winked.

"Ok…I'm in," Lissa smiled.

Nolan hugged her and whispered in her ear, "And, remember, it's _our_ money, not _my_ money."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'`

 **Saturday, January 15**

The littles had spent the night at Owen's apartment and were sitting at the kitchen bar eating cereal.

"I like it here because we get to sit on these tall stools and eat halfway in the kitchen," Lucas shared with delight.

Ria added, "I like it here because it's cozy and small."

"Me, too," Annabelle agreed. "And it's fun to have our own room here too."

Owen grinned as he heard the kids focusing on positives and sounding steadier. Reactions and emotions were still a roller coaster for everyone, but all seemed to be at least attempting to discover a new normal.

"You actually share that room with Lissa and Livie. That's where they sleep when they visit," Owen clarified.

"What?!" Anna declared with surprise. "But they don't sleep in our room at the Lake House when we're here, right?"

Chuckling, Owen assured her, "I'm pretty sure they sleep in their own rooms at home, honey. But here, there are only two bedrooms so everyone takes turns."

"I gotted to sleep with Daddy last night," Lucas proudly announced.

"Is that what Ryder does?" Ria questioned.

"Ryder…" Owen began, hesitant to point out that Ryder hadn't spoken to him since the separation, "The couch can pull out to a bed for Ry."

"I wanna sleep on that!" Anna professed. "We could have a slumber party next time, Daddy!"

"Can we?" Ria begged. "I wanna have a party."

"Can I come?" Lucas requested.

"We can do that," Owen agreed as he received cheers. He continued, "As long as it isn't a school night." He reached for his phone and sent a text to Amelia that read, _Tonight's the night… what do you want to do?_

"Next time, then?" Ria wondered.

"You're at Mommy's next weekend. How about the weekend after that?" Owen pondered aloud.

"Aren't we here tonight? How about tonight?" Anna suggested.

"Tonight is a babysitter night, so it won't work," Owen explained. "You get to meet Jenna. Her mommy is a nurse at the hospital."

"But Lissa always babysits us," Lucas whined. "I don't know the other girl."

"She's very nice," Owen assured his son as he reached into his pocket for his phone. Amelia had responded, _I'm not sure. Dinner? What time?_

 _I'll make reservations. How about if I pick you up at 7?_ Owen offered.

Amelia wrote back, _Sounds good._

Owen had a wonderful day with the kids. They left the apartment after breakfast and headed to a nearby park. Bundled up in their winter coats, hats, and mittens, the kids climbed on play structures as Owen pretended to be a tickle monster out to catch little kids. After a game of tag and a fast food lunch, Owen suggested they return to the apartment for a nap.

"Daddy! We don't ever take naps anymore," Lucas pointed out.

Disappointed and ready for a nap himself, Owen hatched another plan. "Right. I knew that. How about if we go back and watch a movie?" The littles agreed happily to that suggestion and spent the drive home debating their options.

Stretching out together on Owen's king sized bed, the small family of four snuggled and filled the bed with pillows from every bed, chair, and couch. Once everyone was under a blanket or throw, the movie began with running chatter and commentary.

Once the first movie was over, the littles managed to talk Owen into a second movie as he prepared for his date with Amelia. After he shaved and took a shower, he splashed on some after shave and fussed over his hair for far too long. Eventually, he popped his head into the bedroom as he was dressing, "Which tie, guys? This blue one? This blue one? Or this red one?"

"The second blue one," Ria decided with certainty.

"Yeah, I like that one too," Anna confirmed.

Lucas sighed, "I was gonna vote for the red one."

"Maybe I can wear the red one to the hospital on Monday," Owen proposed. With that promise, Lucas was satisfied and returned to the movie.

"Oh! Oh! Daddy!" Ria exclaimed as she stood and jumped on the bed. Referring to the tie from Amelia and Owen's wedding, she encouraged, "Instead of the blue one, wear the pretty green one. That's my favoritist."

"I like that one too," Lucas agreed. "I like green, and you like green, and it's nice."

"The green one is a good choice, Daddy," Annabelle insisted.

Somewhat reluctantly, but also trusting in his fashion advisors, Owen put on a cream shirt and tied the green tie. His mind was racing, worried that Amelia would meet him wearing jeans and a sweater. After a deep breath, he steadied himself as best as he could. As the doorbell rang, he realized there was no more time for fretting.

Jenna, 16, was a playful and wise babysitter. She brought each of the kids an inexpensive little toy that immediately gave all of them something to do. Owen pointed out everything she'd need from emergency numbers, to the bathroom, to the location of PJs.

"Go on, Daddy," Lucas reassured Owen, "Jenna's fine. We'll take care of her." With that, Owen kissed each of the kids and thanked Jenna, promising to be home by midnight at the latest.

 _ **Readers: I'm hoping to post at least one more chapter today…hang tight!**_


	47. Chapter 47 - One Step At A Time

**Chapter 47**

A Pivotal Year – One Step At A Time

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Saturday, January 15**

Owen felt awkward as he drove through the house gate. It was and was not _home._ He parked in the driveway rather than using his garage door clicker and wondered if he should knock on the door or let himself in.

Luckily, Olivia had heard him drive up. She opened the door before he reached it and ran onto the porch with bare feet and outstretched arms, "Daddy!"

"Hey, Red," Owen greeted with joy as he picked her up and kissed her. "Let's get you inside before you freeze, barefoot girl."

Whispering in his ear as she hugged him, she affirmed, "You picked the wedding tie. Great choice."

Owen let out a half chuckle as he made his way to the kitchen to sit on a barstool while he waited for Amelia. When he reached the spot, Olivia sat down next to him and Ryder exited the bathroom.

Ry glanced over. "Oh, hey," Ryder offered.

"Ryder, it's great to see you," Owen beamed. "How have you been?"

"Ok, I guess," he offered with his head buried in the fridge in search of a soda.

"School's good?" Owen inquired.

"Yeah," Ryder grunted as he closed the fridge and leaned against the counter. A part of him wanted to embrace his dad and break into tears while another part of him wanted to punch Owen square in the face for leaving Amelia. He knew running away was not advisable, so he stayed and acted indifferent.

"Ryder," Amelia called down from upstairs. "Let me know when Dad arrives."

"He's here," Ryder called back, grinning at Owen.

"I'll be down in a minute, Owen," Amelia vowed.

"Sounds great," Owen responded. Turning back to Ryder, Owen shared, "I've missed you. I think you've grown since I saw you last, too."

"Dad, it's only been like a week," Ryder groaned.

"He hasn't grown," Olivia piped in.

"How would you know?" Ryder challenged.

"Because I'm smart and I know things," Olivia counter.

Interjecting to stop the potential fight, Owen spouted, "How's soccer? I'd love to come to a match. When's your next one?"

"I'm grounded from all that, Dad. Did you forget?" Ryder pointed out with a hint of loathing.

"Right," Owen confirmed as he nodded his head and regretted bringing it up. "Where's Lissa?"

"Sleeping," Olivia responded. "Since Nolan left, she sleeps a lot. Then she sends texts to Nolan when she's awake or talks to him on the phone."

Just as Owen began to ponder the news in terms of medical concerns, Amelia appeared in a pretty, knee length, ¾ sleeve, brown dress. She had obviously fussed over her hair and makeup and looked fantastic.

"Wow," Owen uttered unintentionally. "You look incredible."

Amelia walked up to Owen and grasped the green tie in her hand, glancing at him and grinning, "You look pretty good yourself, Handsome."

"Strange question," Owen started, "are those shoes comfortable?"

With a wiggle of her eyebrows and mouth, Amelia quipped slowly, "Yeah… why?"

Owen stood up and put on his wool trench coat. With a sly grin, he responded with a wink, "Just checking." Then he clapped his hands and asked, "Shall we go?"

Amelia nodded. Owen held her coat for her and helped her put it on. As they left, she turned back to the kids and advised, "Leftovers are in the fridge. Wake Lissa up in an hour or two and remind her to eat something."

Surprisingly, Ryder walked up to Owen and hugged him, "Good to see you, Dad."

Trying not to jump for joy, Owen hugged back and echoed, "Good to see you too, son."

~~~~~~~~~~~`'

After Owen opened Amelia's door for her, he settled himself into the Boxster and grinned at her while buckling his seatbelt.

"What's the plan tonight?" Amelia asked with heightened curiosity.

"An Italian dinner followed by a surprise," he smiled as he set his gaze forward.

Butterflies erupted in Amelia's stomach in a way they hadn't in years. Already, the night of fun had her feeling giddy. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Owen and took in his features. Every line and every eyelash endeared him to her. Until she was sitting beside him with such a simple agenda, she hadn't realized how much she missed him.

Like a girl on her first date with someone, Amelia would casually look down or glance out the window if she sensed Owen was about to catch her eye. For the first time in years, she felt a little shy around him. The same man who had been beside her for fetal surgeries and childbirth now made her heart skip a beat.

For Owen's part, he feared that his anxiety was obvious. He so badly wanted the evening to unfold without any problems. The Boxster had been detailed the day prior and smelled like a new car. He had not only made reservations at the restaurant, he had requested a specific table near the crackling fireplace.

As they drove, the silence was far from awkward. At the same time, the lack of conversation stilted the beginning of the date. Finally, after searching his mind for topics, Owen shared, "That pretty much made my day when Ryder hugged me tonight."

"I was holding back tears," Amelia admitted. "He and I had a great heart to heart the other night. The poor kid is trying so hard to measure up to Nolan and yet to be his own person. He yearns to be older than he is and to explore the world. You know, he told me he feels horrible about what he said to you on the ride to soccer awhile back."

"Really? Did you bring it up or did he?" Owen inquired.

"He brought it up and asked my advice actually. That's how the conversation began. I sometimes forget what a tender soul he is underneath his bravado and quick wit," Amelia mused.

"It's been so long since I've seen that side of him…" Owen disclosed sadly. With a soft chuckle, Owen recalled, "Remember what a dynamo he used to be? That twinkle in his eye? Never walking, always running? And always ready with a joke or funny phrase?"

"That person is still in there," Amelia confirmed. "He just hides him now. I think he's afraid he doesn't appear mature and grown up if he lets his guard down."

"Ugh… I'm so glad I never have to live those years of my life again," Owen admitted. Amelia laughed in response, but held back her advice regarding how she thought Owen should proceed with Ryder. Such counsel, she worried, could appear bossy or interfering. She hoped he would ask for her insights before the night was through.

They pulled up to the restaurant and the valet opened Amelia's door for her. Owen handed another valet the keys and walked around the back of the car to walk with his wife. He almost put his arm around her. Instead, he set his hand briefly and softly in the middle of her back as a host opened the door for them. She followed the maître-d to the table and thanked him for pulling out her chair. Owen sat across from her, afraid he was going to start sweating through his shirt. His nervousness surprised him.

"Do you mind if I order a glass of wine? I won't if…" Owen inquired. Amelia never seemed to mind if he drank in front of her or around her. For whatever reason, he felt compelled to ask as they sat at the table.

She interrupted with a smile, "Please do. What's pasta and Italian food without a little wine?"

Their waiter timed every interaction and delivery with precision. Not feeling hurried, the couple experienced a lovely two hour, multi-course dinner. They fumbled over conversation topics. Although they chatted a little about the kids, they tried to limit that focus. Work was a strange topic, given that they worked together. Brief conversations would be followed by silence and a drink or bite until the next short interaction arose.

"How have nights been at the hospital?" Amelia questioned.

With a smile, Owen disclosed, "You know, in some ways I actually prefer them. If I have paperwork to handle, I complete it in half the time. The floors are generally quiet, so checking in on patients usually means reviewing the chart updates and checking in with the nurses. The ER has its ups and downs, but you know me – I don't mind an adrenaline rush."

"I find it difficult to stay awake," Amelia countered. "I just get so sleepy around bedtime."

"That's what the on call rooms are for," Owen encouraged. "Rest if you need to rest."

"In all my time there, the on call rooms have seemed to be for something utterly different," Amelia joked. Owen held back the wine in his mouth to prevent from spewing it out as he chortled.

"Sorry…" Amelia added. "Maybe that's too sassy for our first date night."

"No… no, it's fine," Owen assured her with a chuckle. He held her gaze briefly as he agreed, "You might be on to something."

The witty and quick conversation, like the others during dinner, was followed by a dash of silence. Owen broke the hush next, pointing out, "Did you know this restaurant has been family owned since the early 1900s? Passed down from generation to generation."

"I had no idea," Amelia shared. "Do you ever think about that in terms of the kids? Wondering if any of them will choose the medical profession?"

"I do," he nodded. "I want them to thrive and be happy with whatever they choose to do. But, to be honest, I'd be elated if any of them chose medicine. I think Ria's our best bet."

"Agreed," Amelia smiled proudly. "I think she's wanted to be a physical therapist since before she could talk." Amelia let out a tiny giggle as she thought about Ria and her determination to not let her numb lower leg distinguish her from her siblings or peers.

Owen's eyes locked deeply on to Amelia. She glanced up at him and smiled softly, unsure what to say next. With a lump in his throat, he recalled quietly, "What a year that was – when the twins were born. We were married, inherited three adorable children in the blink of an eye, and basically lived at the hospital trying to keep the twins alive and growing." He paused before adding, "How did we get through all that?"

"Don't forget the dogs – that was also the year Bogey and Barkley moved in. You know, that was the year _we_ moved in too – we had just purchased the house and I had that crazy speaking tour. Life was insanely, unpredictably chaotic," Amelia mused.

"But we made it through," Owen stated gently as he lightly placed his hand on hers. Amelia didn't flinch as she met his eye.

"Yeah… we did," she echoed.

Once dinner was finished and the check was settled, Amelia pointed out that she still did not know the surprise.

"If you're up for it, I'd love to take you dancing," Owen grinned. "Grown up dancing… ballroom dancing."

With a giggle, Amelia responded, "We could do that."

"I found out about a dance hall that has a live orchestra and ballroom dancing nights on Saturdays. Sounds like fun," he explained with a boyish face.

The two arrived at the dance hall and chose a table where they could scope out the scene. After people watching and sipping on their drinks for a while, Owen stood up and asked Amelia to dance. She took his hand and found herself smoothly following his lead.

As they twirled and stepped, Amelia pondered _No wonder he enjoys dancing – the roles are defined, the steps are blocked, and the structure is complemented by the music._ _He knows how and where he fits. On the dance floor, life is predictable._

He brought her in close and nudged, "Penny for your thoughts."

"This is nice," she cooed. "Those are my thoughts right now." She leaned closer to him and melted into his chest as they moved in synchronicity.

The night continued with bouts of dancing following by breaks at the table. Each time they sat down, the conversation seemed to flow more freely and glances seemed to be held longer and longer. Owen began leading her out to the dance floor by gently placing his hand on the small of her back. As the night went on, Amelia's hand grasped Owen's shoulder as they danced rather than simply being set there.

"Well, Cinderella, it's just after 11pm," Owen pointed out as their last dance came to an end.

As they headed to the coat check, she disclosed, "I wish we could stay here all night."

"Me too," Owen grinned as he put his arm around her. She grasped the hand he'd placed on her shoulder and wrapped her other arm around his waist as she leaned against him tightly. As far as Amelia was concerned, she was in paradise.

Had Owen been more confident about whether or not to proceed beyond putting his arm around her, he would have been able to relax into the bliss too. Instead, his head was filled with chaotic ramblings about whether or not to kiss her goodnight.


	48. Chapter 48 - I Wanna Hold Your Hand

**Chapter 48**

A Pivotal Year – I Wanna Hold Your Hand

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Saturday, January 15**

As Owen drove out of the parking lot and prepared to turn toward the Lake House, Amelia pointed out that she hadn't seen the apartment yet. Besides, she added, kissing the sleeping littles goodnight would be a treat.

"It's probably a mess," Owen explained. "The kids were there tonight with a new sitter. My guess is that I need to prepare for the worst."

"I'm sure everything was fine," Amelia reassured him. "Besides, it'll make the whole car situation easier. I can drive the Boxster home tonight and then it will be waiting for you tomorrow when you drop off the kids and the Enclave."

"Good point," Owen shrugged. As they neared the complex, he began making excuses for it, "It's fairly simple. Nice landscaping and all that, but nothing fancy." Amelia listened but did not respond.

When they reached his apartment, Owen checked in with Jenna and learned that the kids had behaved wonderfully. Jenna shared that Lucas had awoken from a bad dream and ended up snuggling in Ria's bed. As she spoke, Owen obsessed internally over how to introduce Amelia.

"Oh, pardon me. Jenna, this is Dr. Shepherd… Amelia. The kids' mom," he sputtered. Leaving out the title of 'and my wife' caused Owen's stomach to grumble. He had no idea if he'd made the correct choice or not. He watched Amelia so he could gauge her reaction. Without any indications, Amelia shook Jenna's hand and thanked her for watching the kids. Then she slipped in to the kids' bedroom to check on them and tuck them in.

After Jenna departed, Owen motioned toward the couch and offered Amelia something to drink. He brought water over for both of them as he awkwardly sat close to her without sitting too close.

"Tonight was nice," Amelia stated calmly.

"I enjoyed it, too," Owen agreed as he took a drink of water. "The dancing… the dancing was great."

"It was," Amelia confirmed. She reached out and grasped his hand, squeezing it firmly. "Thank you for putting the entire evening together. All of those plans took quite the effort to organize."

"My pleasure," he grinned. Slowly, he leaned over toward Amelia and kissed her softly. His efforts were eagerly reciprocated and their arms soon embraced one another. While both were concerned about whether or not their current actions were wise, neither spoke their thoughts aloud.

After about ten minutes of kissing, Owen whispered, "I haven't shown you my bedroom yet."

"Yeah," Amelia uttered in response as Owen stood and led her in that direction.

When they stepped into the room, they immediately resumed kissing and began removing each other's clothes. With deliberate movement, Amelia slowly unbuttoned Owen's shirt. As her eyes moved from the top button to the last one, Owen studied her face and finally let himself relax in her presence. He was tempted to kiss every inch of her face including her hairline, the bridge of her nose, her eyelids, and each eyelash. Instead, after his tie was removed and his shirt hit the floor, he unzipped her dress. Together, they removed it from each shoulder and arm. When it fell to the ground, she stood before him confidently in her bra and matching panties. As Owen ran his hand from Amelia's neck to her leg, Owen groaned, "Oh, Mia, I miss you." A shiver ran down her spine as his hand made contact with her skin.

She reached out to unbutton and unzip his pants and thought to herself, _You'll miss me even more after tonight, Handsome. You're about to have the time of your life._ Aloud, as she lowered herself onto her knees, she responded between kisses, "Me too."

"Oh…my," Owen hummed as her mouth surrounded his arousal. He gradually led her onto the bed where he lay down as she continued to please him. As he stroked her hair, his eyes flitted and he yearned for the moment to last forever.

He continued to grin with delight. Eventually, Amelia pulled away gently and teased, "You like that, huh?"

"Like? Oh, Mia. That's the understatement of a lifetime," he grinned. "Please… don't stop." She smiled with pleasure and, much to Owen's delight, continued until she'd accomplished her goal. While he waited to recharge, he reciprocated and pleasured her. Her moans began to increase in volume until he slid to her ear and nuzzled her neck, whispering, "There are three very curious children in the next room, happy girl. Shhh…"

She giggled softly and teased, "Just showing my appreciation."

Raising his eyebrows and grinning, the wrinkles at the edge of his eyes appeared as he retorted, "Ah… but how much will you appreciate unexpected guests popping in here worried about what they're overhearing?"

Messing up Owen's hair, Amelia chuckled and encouraged him, "Return to your task, Handsome. I'll throw a pillow over my happy noises."

He kissed her shoulder, then collar bone and sternum followed by her breasts and torso. His hand rested on her breast as his mouth made its way to his destination where he remained until the pillow muffled her ecstatic screams. Breathing slowly, she declared with a husky voice, "You really should do that more often."

Laughing softly, Owen worked his way back up her body and kissed her soft, silky skin along the way. Embracing her in his arms firmly, he mused, "Hmm… that's worth considering."

As they rested before continuing their lovemaking, Amelia quietly confessed, "I miss you, Owen. I miss this… I miss us."

Kissing the top of her head, "Believe me, I miss you, too, Beautiful. My love for you has never been in question, Amelia. I hope you know and believe that." She did not respond as she let his words sink in. After stroking his cheek against her hair, he continued, "I've been so edgy, such a bear. Stepping away was about pulling myself back into line. Nothing else."

"I know," she whispered. "You know, Owen, you're more than welcome to be imperfect at home."

With a chuckle, he confirmed, "By stepping away, my mind seems more capable of focusing, on processing, on doing my work. It's funny, you know? I'm more intentional all around – with you, the kids, even as a doctor. At the same time, though, none of that cancels out how dreadfully I miss you."

"I want to support you, Owen, but there's got to be another way to give you the space you need without enacting such drastic measures," Amelia urged.

Not wanting to continue the conversation, Owen rolled his body to its side and began kissing Amelia as she lay on her back. One hand traced her jaw bone as the other held the back of her head firmly pulling her head against his. She forced herself to surrender the conversation about alternative ways to help him sort out all that weighed him down.

Joining his passionate state of mind, Amelia relaxed her head and neck so Owen's hold supported her one hundred percent. Slowly, but with practiced familiarity, Owen rolled on top of Amelia and slid into her body. They both moaned with pleasure as they reconnected. Their feet intertwined and rubbed each other's legs. Her hands firmly grasped his butt and her arm muscles flexed to pull him into her body.

With a giggle, she began to push him over by raising one hip. He slowed his thrusts as they attempted and succeeded at remaining connected until he was on his back. She straddled him as he thrust from below. His hands explored her chest and sides as she swirled her hips and rode him. The relieved, relaxed smile on his face communicated his love and adoration. Her sideways smile and playful eyes reminded him that she was currently in charge.

After hours of intimacy, Owen and Amelia nodded off. Stretching as she woke up at 4:00am from a peaceful dream, Amelia sighed with happiness as her hand brushed against Owen's hair. For a brief moment, she was disoriented by her unfamiliar surroundings. Amelia had to remind herself that she was at Owen's apartment. Once she did so, serenity filled each breath. Being next to him and admiring his stubbly cheeks and relaxed face was a gift of deep grace.

She lingered in the peace as she surrendered to her thoughts as they came and went. When she realized she did not know the time, she reached for her phone and was shocked. Basically, they had spent the night together. Beyond that, she had left the older kids at home alone all night.

"Owen," she whispered softly in his ear.

"Hmm," he responded without investment. She repeated his name and nudged him on his shoulder until he opened his eyes slowly and inquired, "What's up?"

"It's 4 a.m.," she explained.

With a grin, he quipped sleepily, "Then go back to sleep. Not time to wake up yet."

"I need to get back to the house. Where's the key to the Boxster?" she inquired.

"In the kitchen. On the counter," he offered before turning over and falling back asleep.

Amelia wasn't certain that Owen was aware of her departure, but she needed to go nonetheless. She hurriedly slipped on her clothes and shoes, her aching feet throbbing in the heels she'd danced in the previous night. Unable to resist, she stood first in Owen's doorway and took in the sight of his relaxed face. After a few minutes, she snuck down the hall and peeked in on the littles. Her heart overflowed with love as she heard their soft breathing and as she spotted Lucas and Ria snuggled together with their heads sharing one pillow.

She successfully slid out of the apartment and to the car. As she drove in to the garage, Ryder was standing at the garage refrigerator and displayed a puzzled expression upon seeing her. With his hair standing on end and facing every possible direction, he scratched his head and questioned, "Are you _just now_ getting home?"

With a glimmer in her eye, she smirked, "Yep."

"You are so grounded," he teased. "4:30 in the morning? Do you know how worried we've been? The police are out searching for you, young lady."

Amelia threw her arm around Ryder's neck and shoulder and hugged him tightly. "You are funny," she observed with a grin.

"Yeah, I know," Ryder offered with confidence.

"What are you doing up, anyway?" Amelia asked as the two walked inside and up the stairs.

"Waiting for you!" Ryder exclaimed as if he were serious.

"Yeah, yeah… really, why are you up?" Amelia reiterated.

"Couldn't sleep," he admitted. "I was thinking about you and Dad… thinking about me and Dad. Thinking about all sorts of things, actually."

"Wanna talk about any of it?" Amelia offered.

"Maybe tomorrow," Ryder shrugged. "I'm gonna crash." He stopped walking and hugged Amelia with both arms, leaning into her like he had done when he was younger.

"I love you, Ry," she whispered. "Sleep well."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

 **Sunday, January 16**

When Owen and the littles arrived at the Lake House at 4:00 pm, the kids eagerly ran to Amelia and embraced her. Jumping up and down vying for her attention and calling out how much they missed her, each little tried their best to be her focus. Smiling at the site, Owen set the kids' bags at the bottom of the stairs so he could free his hands to pet the dogs.

Amelia knelt down and embraced all three kids simultaneously, creating giggling reactions. She whispered, "Look who's awake. She's over on the couch."

"Lissa!" the littles exclaimed as a group as they ran to the other end of the room.

She was Facetiming with Nolan and turned her phone to see them all. Pressing tightly against one another to fit in the screen, the littles all began speaking at once. Each told a different story and hoped Nolan was focusing on his or her own recounting.

While the kids clamored for their brother's attention, Owen and Amelia touched base. Handing her a lunch bag with a folded top, Owen uneasily disclosed, "You left this last night." The bag held her bra.

"Awww," she responded with mock disappointment, "Now I don't have a reason to stop by your place."

Owen gazed down at his feet like a shy boy, unsure how to respond. A heavy pause hung in the air as the two once again found themselves in a stilted conversation.

Pretending as if the pause had never begun, Amelia announced, "Hey, I have a couple days and dates to coordinate with you. We're having birthday cake and ice cream here at home on Monday the 24th for Ryder and Ria."

With a frown focused on his phone, Owen shook his head and mumbled, "I can't make it. After hours training with residents."

"Owen," Amelia gasped with disappointment, "this isn't an unexpected date. We've done this on the 24th since Ree's first birthday."

"I'm sorry, we're going to have to reschedule this year," Owen grimaced. "Touch base with Patricia. She'll have a better idea what's available that week."

With an enormous and audible sigh, Amelia wondered why contacting Patricia and finding an alternate date was up to her. She continued, "Two more. I'm on next Saturday night. Can you stay over here rather than having the older kids at your place?"

"No," he shook his head. "I already made plans to take the older kids to a Sonics game."

"Damn. Lynne's going to be out of town," Amelia shared.

"Do you want Jenna's number? The kids really liked her," Owen asked with nonchalance.

Amelia pressed her lips together and glared. "Owen, I'll be away overnight. I'm not going to have a 16 year old in charge for that long."

He glanced up without concern and inquired, "You said you had two more dates? That was one, what's the other?"

"I was hoping to set up a time to continue our conversation from last night," she stated.

"Our ' _conversation_ '?" Owen flirted as he repeated her words.

After displaying a brief grin, "The conversation about other possible ways to make all this work."

"Oh…" Owen uttered with discomfort. "Maybe we could address that with Wyatt."

Locking her narrowing eyes on his face, Amelia disclosed softly, "Did last night… Was that nothing?"

Peeking up from his phone, Owen scoffed, "Absolutely not. Why would you say that?"

"What happened to the connection and synergy?" she questioned sadly.

Owen's phone rang and he held up his index finger. He grumbled, "Sorry, it's the ER." Hitting the green button, he said, "Hunt."

After listening to the caller, he responded, "Call Dr. Bailey and see if she's able to come in. I'll be down there in a few." He concluded the call and exhaled loudly, "Webber's on call and not answering his page. I need to go sort this out." He quickly leaned toward her and kissed her on the cheek, lamenting, "I'm sorry I have to make a quick exit." He called out, "Kids, I have to go. Love you!" The littles ran over and covered him in hugs and kisses before sending him on his way.

Amelia observed his goodbyes. With disappointment, she watched him run out the door. With each footstep, he seemed to be further and further out of her reach physically and emotionally. Wishing she could grab onto him and pull him toward her, her heart ached to be connected with him. She suspected Owen was completely unaware of how she felt.


	49. Chapter 49 - We're Going to Be OK

Chapter 49 A Pivotal Year – We're Going to Be OK

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

Owen hopped into the Boxster and hurried to the hospital. The call from the ER had been a life saver – he knew he needed to leave the house before the delivery arrived, and he couldn't figure out how to do so. Distracted by the challenge, Owen could barely recall what he and Amelia had discussed.

At the Lake House, Amelia headed upstairs leaving strict instructions to not be disturbed for the next hour. She was still on a high from the previous night, yet continued to be confused by Owen's distracted interactions when he dropped the kids off. A range of feelings filled her: hurt, wonder, disappointment, love, gratitude and many others. Some time alone, she hoped, would help her know how to proceed.

Ten minutes after Owen departed, Ryder answered the request at the gate and allowed a floral shop through. When he answered the door a minute later, the delivery person chuckled, "I'm not sure who Amelia is, but she's going to be surprised."

"That's my mom," Ryder grinned.

"Normally, I wouldn't ask, but the delivery is so large. Would you mind helping me out?" the delivery person requested.

"No problem," Ryder agreed. When the back of the van was opened, Ryder nearly fell over from the volume of flowers before him. "Which one is for Amelia?"

"All of them," the delivery person smiled.

"Seriously?!" Ryder exclaimed. "You weren't kidding – she will be surprised." The driver handed Ryder the first arrangement, which included a pot at least 12" tall. Large white lilies, decorative twigs and white orchids sprouted in every direction. When he reached the door, he knocked on it with his foot and Lucas answered.

"You aren't pus-posed to kick, Ryder," Lucas reminded his brother.

"My hands are kind of full, squirt," Ryder pointed out. "Go get Olivia and Lissa to come help."

As the delivery person and Ryder brought flowers upon flowers inside, the girls came downstairs to assist. Flowering plants, many hues of roses, and decorative containers were unloaded from the van. Large arrangements featuring everything from daisies to hydrangeas to magnolias, and Birds of Paradise entered and were set down one after the other. The entire first floor from the dining room table to the kitchen counters to the living room coffee table was overflowing with scents and sights. Even the space by the floor to ceiling windows facing the lake were lined with flowers.

"I think every color of rose ever grown is in here," Lissa purported with stunned awe.

"I think Daddy is super in love with Mommy," Olivia added with starry eyes.

When Amelia's hour alone had ended, she had not decided upon much but she did feel steadier. As she scooted down the stairs, she smelled the flowers before seeing them. "Who sprayed perfume in the stairway?" she inquired curiously, calling down to the living room where the older kids were gathered.

Nobody responded. When Amelia turned the corner, she gasped in shock, "What's this?"

Olivia beamed and raised her shoulders near her ears, "Daddy sent all of these to you."

"What?" Amelia stuttered.

"Here's the card – the delivery guy didn't want to leave it in one of the arrangements because there are so many," Lissa explained as she handed Amelia the card.

"What's it say? What's it say?" Livie hopped with anticipation.

 _Mia, There are not enough flowers in the world to express how deeply I love you. Thank you for last night – what an honor to be with you at the restaurant and the dance studio. I'm looking forward to returning home soon, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your patience as I recalibrate. O_

"It basically says that he loves me," Amelia reported. "The actual words are special – just between Daddy and me." Standing in the middle of the living room, she turned 360 degrees slowly. Taking in the colors and feasting her eyes on the beauty, she asked the kids, "Which is your favorite?"

"I like the big tall one in the corner," Ryder pointed out.

"The roses… they are all so stunning, Amma," Lissa offered.

Olivia placed her finger on her cheek and surveyed the room with care. "I can't decide, Mama. All of them are my favorite."

Amelia smiled and announced, "I'm going to go back upstairs to call your dad."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Owen was sitting at the nurses' station of the ER when his phone vibrated. He grinned when he spotted the caller ID. "Owen Hunt," he answered as if he didn't know Amelia was calling.

"Amelia Shepherd," she imitated.

"Hello, Amelia Shepherd. What can I do for you?" Owen asked playfully.

"Ohhh…the list is longer than the number of flowers in the living room," she giggled.

Sitting up proudly, Owen confirmed, "So they arrived."

"All six thousand of them," she teased.

"Damn, there were supposed to be six thousand and three," he chuckled.

Amelia paused and sighed, "Owen… The flowers are a wonderful surprise, but I need to tell you that I was put out when you left in such a hurry this afternoon. When you ran out the door, I felt like I didn't matter… like last night didn't matter," Amelia sighed.

Owen's jaw nearly hit the floor. With confused regret, he offered, "Mia, no! What? I'm so sorry. How did I communicate that?"

"The talk about me needing to call Patricia to rework your schedule," Amelia explained. "When we were discussing the other dates, you seemed distracted and disengaged."

Amelia heard Owen exhale. "I had no idea that's how it felt for you. Oh man. Mia, seriously, I am deeply, truly sorry. I apologize."

"Can you see how you might have appeared that way? I think it would help me to know," she inquired.

"Yeah, absolutely," Owen confirmed. "I was distracted because I wanted to get out of the house before the flowers arrived. I didn't want to be there for the delivery. I hurried the conversation so I could high tail it out of there. Again… I am truly sorry. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."

Softly, Amelia offered, "Thank you, Owen. I can appreciate where you were at now that I have a wider context. And the flowers - they're all so beautiful. I'm completely overwhelmed."

"I love you, Mia," Owen spoke softly into the phone.

Amelia bit her bottom lip and repeated the phrase, "I love you, Owen. When can we sit down and chat a little?"

"We have Wyatt tomorrow morning at 9, don't we?" he questioned.

"Yeah," Amelia agreed. "I was asking more about when you and I could spend some time together. Maybe lunch tomorrow? Or dinner some night this week?"

"I'd like that," Owen confirmed with gentleness. "I should be able to slide out of here within the next hour. Want to go grab a late night snack?"

"Yeah, it'd be nice to clear the air and put the misunderstanding to bed," Amelia declared with certainty.

Owen chuckled and responded only with, "Hmmm."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Ninety minutes later, Owen knocked on the door. He was wearing scrubs and he'd obviously been running his hand through his wayward hair. Amelia had spent the last hour primping and getting ready for their spur-of-the-moment date.

When she answered the door, she laughed and observed, "I guess I'm overdressed."

"I'm sorry," Owen frowned. "When I first arrived, there was an all hands on deck situation. My clothes fell victim to the mess."

"It's not a problem," she assured him.

"I'm fine heading out as-is as long as you are," Owen offered.

"Or you could go upstairs and change. Most of your clothes are here, you know," Amelia prompted.

"Do you mind?" Owen confirmed. "A quick shower and change would make a world of difference."

"Go for it," she smirked as she waved her hand toward the stairs. With a wink, she added, "Make yourself at home."

While Owen cleaned up, Amelia sat on the couch and watched the water. Coming inside after feeding the dogs, Ryder walked by eating an apple, "Hey. What's up?"

With a slight laugh, Amelia explained the situation, concluding with, "So I'm waiting. He should be down any minutes."

"Want some company while you wait?" Ryder asked.

"Absolutely," she responded quickly, patting the empty spot next to her.

Ryder leaned his head on hers and put his arm around his mom. Ready to celebrate and scream with joy, Amelia contained herself and soaked in the rare opportunity to be so close to her boy.

"Mom… are you and Dad getting divorced?" Ryder wondered as they both peered at the blowing trees and rough water.

"No," Amelia responded. "Dad's trying to sort some things out for himself. You know how you and I talk when we need to make sense of something? Dad's like Nolan – he needs to hole up alone and quietly ponder. Dad is Nolan without the Nerf ball, basically."

Chuckling, Ryder nodded, "Good. I think it would be really sad if you guys broke up. You love each other too much to let something stupid get in the way."

"Kind of like you and Dad, huh?" Amelia pushed.

"Sorta," Ryder admitted. "Different kind of relationship, but, yeah, he's not bad to have around, I guess."

"Yeah, he's nice to have around," Amelia breathed with a glimmer in her eye.

"I really don't get something, Mom," Ryder confessed. "I don't get why I'm cool one minute and flipping out the next, then happy and all of the sudden sad. What the hell is wrong with my brain?"

Amelia grasped Ryder's head with her hand and described, "This puberty thing is a nightmare, Ry. Hormones are raging through your body and it's almost like they haven't figured out which pathways to travel yet. They crash into each other and wreak havoc sometimes."

"I don't like it," Ryder stated.

"Nobody does," she chuckled. "The people going through it and the people living with people going through it."

"Hey!" Ryder teased as he gently pushed her shoulder. She reached for toward the end of his ribs on his side – it had always been his most ticklish spot. "Lady! Don't even think about it!" he warned playfully.

She tickled him lightly and he tickled her back with fervor. "Ok, stop, I'm sorry," she sputtered through her uncontrollable laughter.

Owen strolled down the stairs and heard the laughter. He paused briefly, watching them interact and laugh. Then he ran to the couch and jumped on it from behind, wrestling Ryder away from Amelia.

"Hey, wait! Two on one?" Ryder pretended to whine as he struggled to get out of his dad's grasp.

"Pay attention. You're going to hit the table," Amelia warned flatly. Neither one of them heard her.

They rolled off the couch and onto the floor, narrowly missing the edge of the table. Amelia increased her volume, commanding, "Boys! Not by the windows, not by the table. Take it to the middle of the room." She kicked them lightly, prompting them.

"Make him stop, Mom!" Ryder whined in good humor.

"Oh just wait until you enlist, Son. This is nothing," Owen warned.

Since the boys wouldn't move and wouldn't mind, Amelia chose an alternative method. She let the dogs in. As soon as Barkley and Bogie heard the laughing and wrestling, they both jumped into the chaos and barked. Licking their faces and joining in the fun, the dogs were in heaven.

"Truce, truce!" Owen yelled as Barkley licked him all over the face.

"Agreed," Ryder joined in. Owen stood up and offered his hand to Ry. After Ryder grabbed it, he continued moving and ended up hugging his dad. "That was fun, Dad. We gotta do that more often."

"Sounds like a plan, Ry," Owen stated as he smiled until his eyes wrinkled. He patted Ryder's back and continued, "I need to steal your mom away for a little bit."

"Listen," Ryder joked in a parental sounding voice. "She didn't come home until after 4 a.m. this morning. Let's make it a little earlier tonight, kids." Both parents laughed as Owen grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it toward Ryder.

Owen wrapped his arm around Amelia as they walked to the garage to jump into the Boxster.


	50. Chapter 50 - Speed of a School Zone

Chapter 50 A Pivotal Year – At the Speed of a School Zone

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Monday, January 17**

"Hey," Owen grinned as he entered Dr. Wyatt's office and caught Amelia's eye. "Sorry I'm late."

"It happens," Amelia smirked. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah… ended up delayed in the ER," Owen explained as he nodded at Dr. Wyatt as a way of greeting her. He settled in next to Amelia on the couch and lightly grasped her hand.

"Amelia shared that the two of you had a lovely weekend," Dr. Wyatt summarized.

Turning his head down like a shy schoolboy, Owen grinned awkwardly and agreed, "Yeah."

"With quite the display of flowers the next day," Amelia praised. She turned to Dr. Wyatt and explained, "The entire first floor of the house was covered in bouquets and arrangements. Truly – there must have been over 100 different pots and vases."

"My," Dr. Wyatt observed. "Your first date was quite the event. From scowling to starry eyes in one night."

Owen and Amelia were proud of themselves, believing that they must have earned an A+ in reconciliation over the weekend. Dr. Wyatt observed, "When there is such a drastic change, the shift is welcomed with open arms. A couple feels freed from their daily burdens of life together and life as a family. The playfulness is good – it helps you remember the joy that you find in your relationship."

"Exactly," Owen affirmed as he motioned his hands toward the doctor.

"However…" Dr. Wyatt added slowly, "was anything actually _resolved_?"

"I… I suppose… well," Owen began, stumbling over his words.

Amelia interrupted, "Resolved? Perhaps not. But we were actually talking, communicating, enjoying one another. We laughed together." As she finished speaking, Amelia glanced at Owen and squeezed his hand.

"I know. The date was a great experience, wasn't it?" Dr. Wyatt asked. Both Owen and Amelia nodded in agreement. "Here's where I want to caution you both: it was a great _first_ step. Celebrate that. But you'd be fooling yourselves if you concluded everything is better now. You're on the right path. The burdens have softened. That's wonderful. _Now_ you'll be able to listen to one another and share with one another from the heart. All the concerns we listed awhile back? Let's address those. How will you find common ground on discipline? What are some ways for communicating more effectively with one another about child rearing, but also about life in general? Let's think about the anger, the exhaustion, all of various stages and situations you are facing together."

"So what does that mean?" Owen inquired. "What do we do next?"

"What do you think?" the therapist retorted. "What would it look like to remain on this path, but slow it down a little? Rather than going from 0-60 miles per hour in one date, what would it look like to go from 0-20?"

"Continue living apart," Amelia sounded quietly. Owen turned and looked at her with sad eyes. "It _does_ kind of force us to communicate more."

"Ok. What else?" Dr. Wyatt coached. Owen folded his arms and gazed out the window. He did not appreciate the direction of the conversation and preferred to remain at 60 miles per hour and speeding forward. As if reading his mind, Dr. Wyatt added, "Owen? You're not wild about this topic."

"Not really," Owen admitted readily. "We've made it over the hurdle, now we can move forward and resolve things if they come up again."

"That is a choice. Not one I'd recommend, but it is an option," Dr. Wyatt offered.

"Zero to twenty?" Owen pondered aloud with a small chip on his shoulder. "To me, that would mean avoid working together and seeing each other constantly. Continue to date once a week, but not have sex."

"Sounds like a way forward. Just for another week or two, then we can reassess," Dr. Wyatt nodded.

"I wasn't proposing it," Owen clarified. "I was describing what it would look like if we slowed our relationship down to driving in a school zone instead of on the freeway."

"And you'd prefer the freeway?" Dr. Wyatt sought to understand.

"Who wouldn't?" Owen responded, expressionless.

Squeezing Owen's hand, Amelia suggested, "Let's try it, Owen. Try to slow down instead of run. We can walk forward for now. It's not what I want either, but it would give us space to really work through some of this crap."

Grudgingly, Owen agreed non-verbally by glancing out of the corner of his eye at Amelia and exhaling loudly. His buy in was minimal, but his resistance was feeble.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

 **Thursday, January 20**

Despite their best efforts, Owen and Amelia ended up working the same shift a few days later. Although they attempted to avoid one another, the two continually found themselves in the same location at the same time. Awkward glances and stepping away as subtly as possible had become the order of the day. When Amelia sat down in a dim back office used only for dictation, she knew someone was seated at the desk in the corner with his back to her. She didn't realize it was Owen. All of the doctors knew that many of them could dictate simultaneously as long as nobody spoke at normal volume.

"Status post high-speed MVA. Patient ejected from vehicle. Arrived by ambulance at 1522. 34 year old male. Denied loss of consciousness, although EMT reports loss of consciousness. Patient was stable en route. Complained of headache upon arrival…" she began softly.

Owen heard the familiar voice. He was in the middle of a report and had to resume his work or lose what he had already recorded. He hoped he could speak softly enough to not be heard by her. He continued… "Day 2 for laparoscopic appendectomy. Recovering well. Advance diet. Continue to monitor labs. Follow up with cardiology within three days of discharge for stress testing as an out-patient…"

Owen paused to review a written note when he heard Amelia confirm, "You have the three older ones tonight?"

"Yeah. I'm off around 6 unless a trauma comes in," Owen clarified. Both of them continued to sit with their backs to one another.

"Have you arranged details with Lissa or are you planning on coming to the house to pick them up?" Amelia inquired.

Owen stood up, walked over to Amelia, and shared, "Liss and I talked last night. She's going to touch base with me around 5:30. We'll either meet at my place around 6 or they'll eat dinner at home and she'll head my way once I'm out of surgery."

"Owen," Amelia sighed and set her pen on the desk, "I'm taking the littles to a movie. There's no dinner at home tonight."

"On a school night?" Owen blurted with disbelief. Amelia faced forward without responding to his question. He backed up from his outburst and kindly offered, "I'll talk to Kepner and see if she can cover emergencies this evening."

"Check with me first before assuming I'm there to pick up the pieces, please," Amelia begged. "I'm happy to help when I can, but don't assume I can always step to the plate. It often comes back to communication, right?"

"Yeah," he muttered as he left the room.

Later in the day, Owen was standing at the Nurses' Station in the ER when he answered an incoming call on his cell.

"What's the scoop, Dads?" Lissa wondered on the other side of the line.

"I need to hang up my lab coat and change clothes, then I'm out of here," Owen detailed. "Let me describe how to get to the apartment…"

"Apartment?" April whispered to Karev.

"Huh?" Karev looked up from a patient chart, oblivious to the conversations around him.

Quietly, April leaned close to Alex and explained, "The Chief… apparently he has an apartment now."

Alex shrugged and placed his pen in his lab coat pocket. "It's none of your business, Kepner," he whispered back before stepping away.

"Chief?" April asked.

"Yeah?" Owen responded as he made eye contact.

"Are you moving? Did I hear something about an apartment?" April inquired as casually as she could.

"Thanks again for covering for me, tonight, April. I appreciate it," Owen grinned as he headed toward the Attendings' Lounge.

"He left my sister," Derek stated without greeting or explanation from the other end of the counter. He had stopped there to jot a note.

"Excuse me?" April asked.

"Hunt. Moved out. Left my sister in the giant house with the kids and got a place a few blocks from here," Derek grumbled. "Supposedly it's temporary." With that, he walked toward Exam 2 for a consult.

"Oh…" April uttered aloud but to herself. "How… how sad."

~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Owen met the girls in the apartment parking lot at 6:15pm and showed Lissa where to park. "Where's Ryder?" he wondered as they parked the car and stepped out.

"He hurt his ankle and soccer and feels yucky," Livie offered. "But I'm glad I'm here, Daddy!" Her mood swung from awkward to joyful within seconds. She ran to him and hugged him, melting away all of Owen's stresses of the day.

Owen hugged Lissa and mumbled, "Does Amelia know he didn't come?"

"She was there when we were getting ready to come over. After taking a look at his ankle and wrapping it, she told him to rest, elevate, and ice. It's swollen, but she didn't think it was broken or sprained. The lucky dog was set up in the playroom with Amma delivering dinner to him," Lissa detailed with a smile.

"He knows he can call if he needs anything," Owen stated as if thinking aloud. Then he nodded, "It'll just be Dad and the girls tonight, then. I made up a pot of spaghetti and tons of garlic bread, let's go eat."

Sitting around the dinner table as a group of three was quiet, odd, and unfamiliar. With only three people present, air time to speak was in ample supply. Because of the particular attendees, reminders about manners were unnecessary. Nobody told funny stories about their day. Instead, Owen and the girls ate and smirked at one another.

"Highs and lows?" Owen attempted, hoping to jump start conversation. Both girls groaned agreement with indifference.

"Ok," Owen piped up enthusiastically. "I'll start. Let's see… having the two of you over is definitely a high. Low? Ryder's ankle."

Lissa nodded as she scrunched up her mouth and nose, "Yeah…" With Owen and Olivia resting their gaze on her, Lissa realized it was her turn, "My high was talking to Nolan. He's really liking his classes. The permit details and remodel on the house are underway. My low was not having much to do. It was a boring day." Turning to Olivia, Lissa inquired, "What were your highs and lows today?"

"How'd it get to be my turn so quick?" Livie giggled. The game customarily took most of dinnertime. On this night, the conversation would be more expeditious. "I loved having Daddy take me to school this morning. That's my high. My low is that I miss eating with all of us together."

"Me too, Liv," Owen stated softly.

"Then come home, Daddy," Olivia pleaded.

Owen grimaced, "It's not that simple. It's complicated, honey."

Lissa reached out and gently grasped Olivia's hand to comfort her, but Olivia responded by shaking it away. "Don't!" Turning her gaze to Owen, Olivia declared, "It's dumb here. There's nothing to do and all my stuff is at home."

"Olivia, that's enough," Owen warned calmly.

"I'll start dishes," Lissa offered as she stood up to extricate herself from the brewing interactions.

"What is there to do, huh?" Olivia demanded in a sassy tone.

"With that tone, going right to bed might be the only option," Owen stated firmly.

"You like being mean," Olivia tested.

"I'm not having this argument, Olivia," Owen declared flatly. "Do you have homework?"

"Maybe…" she fussed.

Lissa turned around and firmly admonished her, "Olivia Elise, you know you have homework. Go get your backpack and start in on it." Olivia stomped around the corner and disappeared.

Owen finished clearing the table and thanked Lissa for her help. "She's just confused, Dads. It'll all be ok. Everyone has been kind of edgy and crabby since the separation," Lissa mentioned as she let out an enormous yawn. As the two quietly cleaned up dinner, Lissa's words echoed in Owen's mind. As much as he needed to step away for a while to clear his mind, the consequences felt as if they outweighed the benefits.

"Umm… Dads?" Lissa questioned when the last bin of leftovers was placed in the fridge. "Do you mind if I go over to Piper and Linnea's for a little bit? I haven't seen them since before Canada. I won't be late."

Disappointed but understanding that Lissa had a life of her own, Owen grinned and gave her a hug, "Sure. Have fun." Lissa stepped into the bedroom she and Olivia shared at the apartment. When she let Olivia know she was leaving, the two ended up yelling at each other. Olivia did not want to be left behind. Nonetheless, Lissa departed and informed Olivia that she was on her own.

Meanwhile, Owen flopped on to the couch and turned on the TV. Beer in hand, he flipped channels until he found a football game. As the announcers highlighted the plays and replays, Owen scoffed at the TV and became an armchair quarterback.

Near the end of the second quarter, Olivia peeked around the corner and stated, "We don't watch TV on school nights."

"Hey, Livs," Owen responded with a grin. "Come sit with me."

She walked in front of Owen and put her hands on her hips as she regarded him with utter seriousness. "I said we don't watch TV on school nights. That's our rule."

"That's _Mom's_ rule," Owen clarified, "and Mom's not here."

Olivia grudgingly sat on the other end of the sofa and stared at Owen as he watched a play unfold. "Do you have a blanket to snuggle in?"

"Just the ones on the beds, honey," Owen replied without looking at her. "I should bring some extras over from the house."

"Those are blankets for the _house_ ," Olivia insisted.

Owen glanced over at his daughter blankly.

As a possible touchdown was called into question and fans awaited replays, Olivia piped up, "I want a phone for my birthday."

"Tell Santa," Owen responded sarcastically and impatiently, attempting not to lose his temper with Olivia and her bratty demeanor.

"There's no Santa," Olivia huffed. "Santa's for babies. Besides, elves wouldn't know how to make iPhones." When Owen ignored Olivia's words and hollered at the referees about the ruling, Olivia headed to the kitchen and began searching through cabinets.

"What do you need, Liv?" Owen inquired.

"I want a snack," Olivia informed him.

"We just had dinner and you ate plenty," Owen ruled.

"So… I want a snack anyway," Olivia mouthed off.

Owen turned around and gave Olivia a look filled with warning, wondering where his adorable little girl had gone. She stared back at him with a frown. "Olivia, the attitude needs to stop," he ordered.

"Like how you've stopped loving Mommy and living at home?" she sassed.

"Olivia," Owen responded with a deep breath, "I still love Mommy a great deal. I need some time to work on things… some time away."

"What kind of things?" Olivia pressed.

"Grown up things," Owen answered without turning around. "Now, come sit down and kick back."

"I don't want to. That channel is boring. I want to watch something else," she whined.

Owen threw his hands in the air, "Well, kiddo, I have one TV. It's this or this."

"I don't like your choices," Olivia bantered.

Owen took the bait and responded with his own sassy tone, "I don't like your tone of voice."

Olivia fell onto the couch with great drama and announced, "It's boring here."

"Did you bring a book? Maybe you could read," Owen suggested.

"I can't read with those guys yelling and talking on the TV," she pointed out.

"Go in my bedroom and read. You won't hear them in there," Owen suggested.

"I want to go home. I don't like it here," Olivia grumbled.

Owen turned off the TV, leaned back on the couch cushions and took a swig of beer. "Sometimes I feel the same way, Livs."

"Then stop hating all of us and move home," she suggested with an edge.

"This isn't about hating anyone, Olivia," Owen sighed. "Is that really what you think?"

"Mommy cried a bunch last night and she was crabby after school. You hurt her feelings," Olivia surmised.

"Maybe Mommy was crying and crabby because of someone or something else," Owen proposed.

"She was talking on the phone with Uncle Derek and I could hear her. You made her cry, Daddy," Olivia announced.

"Olivia," Owen resigned with sadness in his eyes, "Sometimes grown-ups have a tough time. Mommy and I need to be apart for a while. It won't be forever – I promise."

"When us kids have a tough time getting along, you tell us to work it out," Olivia pointed out.

"And that's what Mommy and I are trying to do, honey," Owen affirmed.

"Moving away doesn't help, dummy," Olivia exclaimed angrily.

"Pardon me, young lady?" Owen grumbled.

"Dummy. I said you're a dummy, 'cause you're mean and you moved away and you made Mama cry," Olivia persisted.

"Olivia, do you know what Grandma would've done if I'd spoken to her that way when I was 10?" Owen inquired. Olivia narrowed her eyes and stared directly at her father without speaking. Owen continued, "She would have put soap in my mouth. Want to try that?"

"You wouldn't dare," Olivia tested. Then she threatened, "Because I'd tell Mommy."

"Olivia Elise…" Owen began with his angry daddy voice as he stood up and moved toward her. He had no idea what he would actually do if he caught her, but he knew he wasn't about to wash her mouth out with soap.

"Meany, Dummy, Stupid Idiot Man!" she sassed before running to the bathroom and locking the door.

"Olivia, you are only getting yourself into more trouble," Owen warned in a measured tone from the hallway. "Open this door _now._ "

"No," she declared. "I'm only coming out for Mommy."

Owen growled, "It's 8:15 right now. I'm keeping track of how long you insist on staying in there." Owen went out to the living room to grab his phone and put on a heavy coat. He stepped onto the balcony that overlooked the city. As he held his phone, poised to call someone, he realized he had no idea who to call. His mother would not be any help in the moment. Besides, she didn't know about the separation. Although Lynne would know what to do, it was her night off. Maybe Callie could be a sounding board, he considered. At that moment, his phone rang. It was Amelia.

"Mia," he unconsciously stated. "What's up?"

"Lucas is beside himself. Owen, he's a mess. Can you talk to him? Tell him goodnight? I'm so sorry to interrupt your night with the girls, but I'm…"

Interrupting, Owen reassured her, "Amelia. It's ok. No problem." He chuckled with embarrassment and requested, "Could you talk to Olivia? She's locked herself in the bathroom."

"Great night all around, huh?" Amelia laughed softly.

Amelia handed the phone to Lucas, who was calling out baby cuss words, "PJs are stupid and you are poopy for telling me to wear them. I hate, hate, hate you, Yucky Poo Poo Head!"

"Woah," Owen stated seriously when Lucas came on the line, "Lucas Owen, you know better than to use words as weapons."

"Daddy!" Lucas expressed with joy.

"Luke," Owen firmly said. "You need to get to sleep. Why are you calling Mommy names?"

"Because she's a super duper meany head Mommy who's stinky," Lucas rattled off.

"Hmm…" Owen hummed. "I think your words are pretty stinky, Mister. Now listen to me: you get to come see me at the apartment tomorrow night. But if you are too tired because you didn't go to bed on time or if you are in trouble for being mean to Mommy, you'll stay there."

"Nooooo," Lucas whined.

"Then what do you need to do?" Owen questioned.

"Say sorry, give a hug, and close my eyes," Lucas recited with a pout.

"See, you know how to make better choices," Owen pointed out. "I hope to see you tomorrow, buddy."

Owen overheard Lucas apologize before Amelia returned to the phone. "Thank you," she sighed. "Again, I'm really sorry to bug you."

"Everyone's in a funk," Owen observed. "Do you have a minute for Olivia?"

"Sure," Amelia agreed. "Give me a summary of what I'm stepping into."

Owen explained the conversation, even his own sassiness and argumentative come backs.

"Hell, Owen, I think I would've had soap in her mouth and a hand slapping her smart little ass, and those aren't even things I condone," Amelia quipped.

The two laughed and Owen said gently, "It's nice to hear you laugh."

"Yeah… you too," Amelia echoed. A pause lingered between them until Amelia suggested, "She needs to know you mean business and that she can't speak to you that way. Without a phone to take away, what else can we do?"

"I wish I knew," Owen mused.

Amelia sighed, "This is one time I wish I could actually agree with my mother. I can still taste the soap good ole Mama Carolyn shoved in my mouth a time or two...or ten. That's a line I just can't cross."

Owen chuckled and explained, "Let me take the phone to her." He stepped to the bathroom door and calmly called out Olivia's name.

"What?" she snapped back with attitude.

"Mom's on the phone," Owen informed her. "Shall I slide the phone under the door?"

"Yes," she sassed.

"Olivia Elise," Amelia began firmly.

"Mommy, it is so boring here and Daddy said he was gonna put soap in my mouth," Olivia disclosed, pulling out all the stops.

"Why would he say that, Livs?" Amelia inquired with wonder.

"He was being mean and I told him that he was being mean and we kind of got in a fight and he needed to hear pieces of my mind," Olivia insisted, fumbling the idiom.

"I see," Amelia nudged. "Want to know what I told him?"

"Yes," Olivia replied with eagerness.

"I told him that you know we don't speak to _anyone_ the way you spoke to Daddy, and you really know that you don't speak to Mama or Daddy like that. I think you need to unlock the bathroom door, apologize to Daddy, and head right to bed. When you're over here tomorrow night, you'll head right to bed after you help clean up from dinner."

"Mommy…I'm not a baby," Olivia whined as she cried. The sense of betrayal was overwhelming. She had assumed Amelia would take her side against the big, mean Daddy.

"I need to go, Olivia. If I hear from Daddy that you didn't open the door as soon as we hung up, you're going to be in more trouble with me, too. Understand?" Amelia warned.

"Yes, Ma'am," Olivia sniffled.

"That's better. Now go apologize to Daddy," Amelia concluded.

Olivia reluctantly opened the door, tears still sliding down her cheeks. She handed the phone to Owen and looked at him with her round blue eyes. After a profuse apology, she pulled herself up as tall as she could stand and announced soberly, "I'm going to bed now."


	51. Chapter 51 - In the Company of Women

Chapter 51 A Pivotal Year – In the Company of Women

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Friday, January 21**

 _ **I've had this first part written for a long time and it finally fits with the rest of the story! I hope you enjoy it – it may be one of my favorites ever.**_

"Lisssssssaaaaaaaaa!" Olivia screamed from the bathroom as everyone showered and prepared for the day.

In a panic, Lissa ran toward the door and found it locked. "Livie, what's wrong?" As she spoke, Owen came around the corner tying his tie and offering a quizzical expression. Lissa raised her shoulders, not knowing what was up with Olivia.

Assuming his presence would be reassuring, Owen knocked on the door and gently inquired, "Olivia, honey, is everything ok?"

"Daddy, no!" Olivia screamed. "I need Lissa."

"Olivia, I'm right here. Let me in," Lissa stated.

"Alone. Just you," Olivia insisted.

Owen lowered his eyebrows and whispered, "Let me know what's up. I'll wait here."

A few minutes later, Lissa slipped out of the bathroom and Olivia rapidly closed and locked the door behind her.

"What's wrong?" Owen asked with deep concern.

Lissa winced, wishing she were experiencing just about any other moment than the one she was. "Don't tell him!" Olivia yelled from the other side of the door.

Lissa stepped toward Owen and motioned her head toward the kitchen. She pulled him into the room by the elbow. Blushing brightly, Lissa whispered, "She started her first period."

"Oh," Owen stated with surprise. "Is she… uh… is she scared?"

"No, she's embarrassed. She doesn't want you to know," Lissa explained. "You don't happen to… uh… have anything here, do you?"

"Anything?" Owen shook his head in confusion. Keying in immediately, he followed up with, "Oh, _that_ kind of anything. No. I," he grinned awkwardly, attempting to lighten the moment, "don't use any of that kind of anything."

Lissa rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I have stuff, but not what she needs. Is there a store close by? I can go pick up something for her."

"Yeah," Owen replied as he pulled out his wallet and handed Lissa a $20 bill, "turn right out of the entrance, on your right about a block and a half. Is this enough?" Lissa nodded, but Owen stopped her. "Here, take another $20. Buy her flowers." Lissa didn't pause to ask. She hightailed herself out the door as much for her own escape as in an attempt to help Olivia.

Although he hesitated, Owen walked back to the bathroom door. "Livs? Honey. Is there anything I can get you? Lissa will be right back… said she needed to run to the store for something."

"I'm fine, Daddy… I mean, Dad," Olivia replied, trying out her more mature language now that she'd joined the club of women.

"I'll be around. Here in the apartment. Just yell if you need anything," Owen encouraged, saddened that his little girl was facing a milestone that he wasn't invited to celebrate with her.

"Yeah, ok. Ok," Olivia sounded back, far calmer now that Lissa was involved.

Before starting the car to return to the apartment, Lissa called Nolan.

"It's early, Shorty. What's up?" he answered.

"Why do these weird things happen to me?" she groaned.

"What are you talking about?" Nolan laughed.

"Olivia. She and I stayed at your dad's last night. She started her first period this morning. _I_ had to be the one to tell Dads," she complained.

"Awww…. Little Livie's growing up," Nolan mused as he cackled. "How'd Dad handle the news?"

"He's being weird, of course. He asked me to buy her flowers when I ran to the store for pads," Lissa shared with confusion in her voice.

"Why?" Nolan asked in a long, drawn out sound.

"I don't know. I guess it's what he thinks he's supposed to do," Lissa shrugged.

"Did you… you've started, right?" Nolan inquired hesitantly.

"Huh? I started when I was like 12, Nolan," Lissa responded with faint disgust.

"No… I mean since Canada. You know, since the shower and…" he began to explain.

"Oh, sorry," she acknowledged. "Yeah, kind of. It's a weird one, but yeah, I have…I guess."

"How do you have a weird period? What's that mean?" Nolan wondered aloud. Before Lissa had a chance to respond, Nolan quickly added, "Never mind. Just glad to hear we're all good… you… you're all good."

"You're a peculiar man, Trems, but I love you," Lissa giggled.

"I love you too, Babe. Hey… buy Liv some flowers from me, ok?" Nolan chuckled.

Lissa laughed as she hung up, her heart beating with smitten love.

A few minutes later, when she returned to the apartment, she handed Owen the flowers and the change before walking toward the bathroom. Olivia opened the door a crack and rapidly confirmed, "Thanks, I know what to do." She closed the door just as quickly.

After a few minutes, Owen impatiently asked Lissa, "Should you go… help her?"

"She's fine, Dads. Really," Lissa smiled as she let out a yawn and commented, "I need coffee or something. Do you have cream? I can drink coffee if it has lots of cream."

"Should I call Mia?" Owen asked, already forgetting to address Lissa's question. Lissa adored how helpless and unsure Owen was acting. Such a highly accomplished and competent man was stumbling over his words and completely clueless about how to handle Olivia's period.

"Good idea," Lissa declared, guessing that a definitive answer was the most helpful one in the moment.

Owen stepped into his bedroom and called Amelia, who was in the midst of a surgery. Lynne was at home tending to Ryder and the littles since Amelia's shift had begun at 6am.

"Dr. Hunt," Amelia declared in a sing songy voice as the nurse put him on speaker phone.

"Can we pop off the speaker?" Owen stuttered.

"I can in a few minutes. Right now, my friend, I have my index finger fishing around a parietal lobe attempting to find a teeny, eensy, adorable, little tumor."

"Ah… well, nothing emergent but call me back as soon as you can," Owen requested.

"Everything's ok?" Amelia wondered.

"Yeah," Owen confirmed. "Some news to share. Sooner the better." He hung up after uttering those words, not wanting to be put in a position to announce Olivia's news over speaker phone to a group of scrub nurses, residents, and staff.

Owen headed toward the kitchen and grabbed his keys, calling out, "Livs, we need to leave for school."

She popped out of the bedroom with a somewhat-embarrassed, somewhat-proud smirk and looked at her dad, "I'm ready."

Looking at her, Owen could have sworn she looked more mature and grown up. A bittersweet pride surrounded him as he reached for the flowers and explained, "Here, honey. I… I wanted to give these to you."

"Why?" Olivia wondered with deep curiosity as she accepted the gift. Lissa watched from the hallway, screaming internally, _Say 'just because'! Do NOT tell her why!_

"Just because," Owen grinned. Seeing Lissa, he questioned, "You'll come by later for lunch?"

"Sounds great," Lissa yawned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~````'

After he dropped off Olivia, Owen called Amelia. The nurse, once again, put him on speaker.

"Hello again, doctor," Amelia offered professionally as she focused on suturing.

"Hi," Owen uttered. "Can we chat?"

"Absolutely," Amelia consented. "Julie, could you please put the phone to my ear?"

The nurse held the phone for Amelia so she could hear Owen divulge, "Exciting morning around here."

"Really? How so?" Amelia questioned full of curiosity.

"Olivia started her period," Owen reported. "Thank God Lissa was here."

Amelia chortled, "Oh, Owen… that must have been a little awkward for you, huh?"

Chuckling, he admitted, "Quite a bit awkward actually. I bought her flowers – was that fitting?"

"Flowers?" Amelia cackled. "Tell me you didn't say they were to commemorate her period."

"No," he mumbled with embarrassment. "I... I felt like I should do something. I told her I bought them just because."

"Good," Amelia giggled with pity. "Oh, Owen, I'm sorry that happened on your watch. No wonder she was such a nightmare last night – all those pubescent hormones were raging through her."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" he chuckled.

"A little," she teased.

"Lissa is coming by the hospital later. Want to join us for lunch?" he asked with hesitation.

"Yes. I'd like that," Amelia agreed. "Page me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~'

When Lissa arrived, Owen sent Patricia to explain that he was stuck in a meeting.

"You're welcome to wait out here in the Main Lobby, or, if you like, I could take you up to OB. We're bursting at the seams with babies today," Patricia explained.

Lissa perked up, "The babies sound great!" The two headed to the Labor and Delivery unit, and Patricia introduced Lissa to Mary, the charge nurse. Mary and Amanda, another nurse, were taking a break and invited Lissa to have a seat and chat.

As the three conversed, they found themselves sharing funny family stories. Mary, the charge nurse, laughed hysterically as Lissa told the story of Amelia and Owen surrounding Nolan when he was punched in the gut. "We medical people," Mary confessed, "can become a little silly when our children aren't perfectly, 100% healthy."

Amanda commented, "And brand new Mama's are their own breed of protective and concerned mothers. They're darling, but can also be so scared."

"Really?" Lissa asked in disbelief. "Why?"

"You don't have younger siblings, do you, dear?" Mary inquired.

"I've been around Nolan's family when the twins and Lucas were newborns, but, otherwise, I really haven't been around babies. I'm an only child," Lissa disclosed.

"Until you're holding your own tiny baby in your own arms, I'm not sure anyone really understands the protectiveness of a mother," Mary mused.

"Let's show Lissa the nursery," Amanda suggested to Mary. Mary stood up and took a sip of coffee before leaving the cup in the nearby sink.

When Lissa arose, she grasped the edge of the table and uttered, "Woah."

"Are you ok, honey?" Mary inquired.

Shaking her head, hoping to regain her bearings, Lissa smiled with embarrassment, "Yeah… I think I stood up too fast."

"Dizzy?" Amanda wondered.

"And kind of light headed," Lissa explained.

Mary stepped toward Lissa and encouraged, "Sit down, hon."

Amanda sat down next to Lissa and grinned. After half a minute, she questioned, "Any better now that you're sitting down?"

"Not really," Lissa described. "I'm so embarrassed. Don't fuss over me. Maybe I didn't eat enough for breakfast or something."

"No need to be embarrassed," Amanda assured her as she wrapped a cuff around Lissa's arm and took her blood pressure. She glanced over to Mary and reported, "I would've hunched orthostatic hypotension, but it's still low: 82/55."

"What's up?" Lissa begged to know.

"Your BP is low, Larissa," Mary explained. "It's probably a fluke. Let's sit tight for a while and check it again in a few minutes. Are you having any other symptoms? Fatigue? Headache?"

"I can't seem to catch up on my sleep lately, but Nolan, my boyfriend, he just returned to college after winter break. Then Dr. Hunt and I took a quick trip down there to visit. Life has been weird and busy," Lissa detailed. "No headaches, no sore throat, no cough, no muscle pain… no other problems I can recall."

"Not to sound intrusive, but when was your last period?" Mary inquired.

Lissa smiled awkwardly and lowered her brows, "That's not an issue. I'm not pregnant or anything."

"Are you sure?" Mary pressed.

With a nervous giggle, Lissa shook her head and grinned, "Absolutely, I dealt with all that last week."

When Mary took Lissa's BP again, it had improved but was still borderline low at 92/59.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'


	52. Chapter 52 - No Matter What

Chapter 52 A Pivotal Year – No Matter What

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Friday, January 21**

After leaving Larissa in Obstetrics, Owen headed to Dr. Wyatt's office. He and Amelia were set to meet with her, but Amelia had been called away on an emergency surgery. Owen decided to utilize the hour himself, and Dr. Wyatt agreed even though she normally didn't not see one spouse without the other when offering marriage counseling.

"We were speaking last time about Amelia and your need to protect her. Has she ever asked you to protect her emotionally, Owen?" the doctor inquired.

"Well… not directly, I guess, but that's one of my roles in our relationship," Owen explained.

"Maybe she doesn't need you to carry that for her," Dr. Wyatt suggested. Owen looked puzzled. "Maybe knowing you're struggling with challenges will help her see that she's not alone."

"What would help her is if I was fully functioning, then I could address all the issues and keep the burdens from weighing her down," Owen detailed. "And I can't seem to run fast enough to do that anymore."

"Swoop in and save Lois Lane?" Dr. Wyatt challenged. "Simply take away her problems and fix them for her?" Owen frowned. When Dr. Wyatt uttered the words, they no longer sounded venerable.

"How would you feel if someone did that in your life?" Dr. Wyatt inquired.

"Helpless, worthless, inept," Owen shrugged. "But that's because I'm the husband. I'm the one who ultimately holds the responsibility and the burdens."

"Do you hear yourself?" Dr. Wyatt pressed.

Owen chuckled softly, "Yeah. I'm trying to fix her, fix the kids, fix life, fix the hospital. In the process, she's getting the sense that I see her as inferior and incompetent."

"There are ways to support people without attempting to fix them or assume to know what's best for them," Dr. Wyatt proposed.

"Crap…" Owen groaned, "I think we've hit the nail on the head. That's at the crux of all this angst I've had lately, isn't it?"

"Could be," Dr. Wyatt suggested. "That's a question you need to answer for yourself, Owen."

Owen gazed down at his hands and lost himself in his thoughts. Holding on to everyone else's challenges and his constant worry about his loved ones was eating him alive. Carrying all those burdens as if he could intervene and fix them led to disappointment. Being alone or apart wasn't the answer. The answer was staying engaged while letting go of his attempts to juggle outcomes.

"Do you still want a separation?" Dr. Wyatt wondered.

Owen admitted as he shook his head. "No, not really, but I feel like I can't keep my head above water. It's not fair for her to have to deal with that, to rescue me."

"Maybe it's her turn, Owen… to be the one on solid ground and give you room to step back. To support you," Dr. Wyatt put forward. "I suppose your other option remains too: to crawl into a cave until you feel steady enough to return to the world. You have options, Owen, but each option has its ramifications."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

At the lunch table, Lissa observed positive, loving and lighthearted interactions between Owen and Amelia. She wished there was a way to videotape the time and share it with Nolan. Although Owen continued to live at his own apartment, the intensity between he and Amelia had been softening. The couple almost had to work harder at arranging their lives now that they were living apart. They spoke to each other more and usually found ways to support one another. Multiple appointments with Dr. Wyatt had also helped a great deal.

"Hey, I heard you had a little blood pressure scare, Liss," Amelia mentioned.

"You heard that, huh?" Lissa smirked.

"What was her reading?" Owen inquired anxiously as he turned to Amelia.

"82/55 to start. Dizzy spell. It improved a few minutes later," Amelia reported. "How many nurses surrounded you and fussed over you, Lissa?"

Giggling, Lissa shared, "Only two." She described, "It was pretty weird. When I stood up, I was dizzy and lightheaded. Mary had me sit down, but it really didn't go away. Amanda sat next to me and we waited. Then it was like, 'Hey we just met but when was your last period?' I was like, 'Umm…hello?!' TMI, right?!"

Owen and Amelia caught each other's eyes. Biting his bottom lip and raising his eyebrows, Owen stated, "Beautiful ladies, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work." He leaned down and kissed Lissa's forehead then, out of habit, did likewise to Amelia.

"Are you two working everything out?" Lissa inquired.

"We're getting there. That little kiss, though, was… out of the blue," Amelia replied with a hint of shock. "But I'll take it." The two resumed eating their lunches. A few bites later, Amelia questioned, "Liss… we haven't just met, so I am going to ask. When was your last period?"

"Amma, are you serious?" Lissa sighed with rolling eyes.

"No biggie. I'm a doctor. Just give me a date," Amelia shrugged.

"Last week," Lissa disclosed.

"And it was normal?" Amelia pressed.

"What do you mean?" Lissa questioned with a shrug.

"Spotting? Light? Heavy? Number of days? Cramps – less or more?" Amelia listed.

"Does that really make a difference?" Lissa challenged with confusion, exasperated that her period had become the focus of multiple conversations in one day.

"There's something called 'implantation bleeding,'" Amelia explained. "Some women can spot up to 6 days or so as the egg settles into the lining. It usually happens about a week after conception."

Lissa dropped her fork into her salad unintentionally and let out a flat, "Oh."

"And you've been pretty sleepy lately," Amelia reminded her. "Liss, it might be worthwhile to take a pregnancy test. You know, just to be sure."

With a laugh full of denial, Lissa countered, "But it was…" Not wanting to provide detail about the broken condom and how Nolan told her he had to have been out of sperm, Lissa stopped mid-sentence.

"Was what, Liss?" Amelia encouraged. Just as Amelia leaned toward Lissa and spoke, Lissa's phone rang.

"It's Nolan," she smiled. With an unsteady voice, she began, "Hey, Trems. What's up?"

"Me. I miss you," Nolan joked.

"Uh huh," Lissa responded uneasily.

"You're not alone," Nolan gathered.

"Just finished lunch with Dads and Amma. Amma's still here… oh wait, she's standing up and waving goodbye," Lissa described.

"Blondie, the house deal is set and the contractors are ready to start on the remodel. You should come down here for the signing," Nolan celebrated.

"When?" Lissa wondered as she dug her date book out of her purse. As she grasped a pen, her hand shook as she began to write.

"February 10. Maybe we can be together for Valentine's Day, huh?" Nolan ventured.

"I'd love that," Lissa oozed with sincerity. Even so, there was hesitation in her voice.

Nolan dug, "Larissa? What's going on? I can hear it in your voice."

"Do you have a minute to talk?"

"Yeah," Nolan assured her.

Lissa took a deep breath, "I'm a little freaked out. Amma and I – she was asking about my weird period. It sounds like it might not have been one. There's this thing called implantation bleeding…"

"You lost me, Shorty. Speak guy," Nolan interrupted.

"Nolan," Lissa rephrased, "I might be pregnant."

"I don't get it. Last week… you were sure you weren't," Nolan wondered aloud. Lissa explained details to him and provided more information before asking, "Should I take a test? Or should I wait? Do you want to be with me when I take one? Or should I take it and let you know?"

"Baby, I want to do whatever you need me to do," Nolan insisted. "I can hop a plane right now and tell the family I'm surprising Ria and Ryder for their birthdays."

Tearing up since the first time the topic of possibly being pregnant arose, Lissa breathed with relief, "I'd love that. Let me know when you're arriving and I'll come get you."

"Hey…" Nolan began with a reassuring tone.

"What?" she inquired as she sniffled.

"No tears, Blondie," he encouraged.

"I'm trying," she whimpered.

"I love you, Liss," Nolan declared. "I'll be there as soon as I can grab a seat on a plane."

"I love you, too, Nolan," Lissa shared.

"Listen, if you are pregnant, we'll be the most incredible family that has ever existed on earth. We'll bring the baby home to the most loving, safe, precious home in LA. This is a win-win, Liss. No matter what, the result will be fantastic," he assured her. 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'**

A few short hours later, Nolan and Lissa sat in her bedroom and waited.

"What's it say?" Nolan asked for the third time in a minute. His arm was wrapped around Lissa as his leg bounced up and down nervously. He rested his head on hers and waited for the result of the pregnancy test.

"It hasn't been enough time yet," Lissa reminded him with her arms folded in front of her.

"Should I go check it anyway? Maybe it's not working – like we bought a defective test or something," he proposed with anxiety.

"Two more minutes, Trems," Lissa assured him softly as she set her hand on his trembling leg. "No matter what, everything will be great, remember?"

"I know," he agreed as he kissed her hair. Internally, his heart was racing. Waiting for this result was the most agonizing five minutes of his life, even though he wanted to believe that life would be wonderful regardless of the outcome.

"Is it too early for midterms or have you already had them?" Lissa asked in a feeble attempt to pass the time.

"No major tests yet. I've turned in assignments in finance, math, and science and completed a paper for a lit class. For the most part, I'm caught up on my reading. This term is pretty manageable so far," he replied. "How's it feel to be out of high school but kind of in a holding period?"

"Period… ha," Lissa blurted.

"That's not funny, Larissa," Nolan corrected her blankly.

"Trems! It is too. Lighten up," she coaxed before whispering, "No matter what" and kissing him softly.

"Who's going to freak out more? Mom or Dad?" Nolan pondered aloud.

"Dads, of course!" Lissa predicted.

 _D...d…d…d…ding_ , the phone alarm sounded.

"Do you want to go see or should I?" Nolan questioned.

"I was just going to ask you the same thing," Lissa stuttered.

The two sat, afraid to speak and apprehensive about moving. After a full minute, Nolan stood and gripped Lissa's hand, "How about if we check it together?" As she stood, he grasped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her softly.

Slowly, the two stepped away from each other and Lissa squeezed Nolan's arm. The two ambled toward Lissa's bathroom and locked eyes in the doorway.

"What's it say?" Nolan whispered.

Lissa leaned over to grab the test and read it. As she was about to share the result, Owen knocked and poked his head into Lissa's room, "Hey, guys, cake and ice cream are ready." The test dropped from her hand, landed on the floor, and was quickly swept behind the trash can by Lissa's foot.

Thinking quickly, Nolan quipped, "So it only leaks after you use the hot water?" He leaned down and fiddled with the sink.

"Something wrong?" Owen inquired as he invited himself in.

"Yeah, Liss pulled me in here to take a look. Poor thing – the dripping has been keeping her up all night," Nolan concocted.

"Liss, you should've said something," Owen encouraged.

"I know. I kept forgetting," she grinned. "Then Nolan was talking about the remodel in LA. I remembered the drip in here and asked him to take a look."

"Sure," Owen accepted. "Cake and ice cream are waiting downstairs. Let's go celebrate."

"Be right there, Dad. I'm gonna wash my hands," Nolan explained.

"And you know me… I'll follow him downstairs," Lissa attempted to joke.

Nolan released a huge breath and shook his head as he stood up and washed his hands. "What'd it say?"


	53. Chapter 53 - Will You Be My Valentine?

Chapter 53 A Pivotal Year – Will You Be My Valentine?

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Friday, January 21**

"You're going to be the best Dad ever, Nolan," Lissa announced quietly as her eyes glistened. She reached up and stroked his hair.

Nolan froze, not necessarily unhappy but simply in shock. After swallowing, he pulled Lissa's head close to his chest and placed his hand gently under the belly button. With wonder, he contemplated, "Look what we went and did. We made a baby." The young couple stood still as if time had frozen them in place. Their responses were calm – no speedy heartbeats, no shallow breaths.

He kissed the top of her head before grasping her chin in his hand and kissing her. "You, Larissa Lorraine almost-Hunt, are going to be an amazing mother." Keeping his eyes locked on hers, he knelt down and whispered to the baby, "Little Trems, you're a damn lucky kid to have such a fantastic, beautiful, gentle, kind, precious Mama."

Lissa giggled through her bittersweet tears of relief, joy, and shock. She placed her hand over Nolan's, looking down and adding, "And your brilliant, steady, loving, handsome Daddy is pretty incredible too."

"Ice cream!" Owen hollered up. "Nolan! Lissa! C'mon. We're waiting on you."

"Go ahead and start without us," Nolan responded.

"Do we tell them tonight or wait?" Lissa inquired as they walked down the hall hand in hand.

"Hell, let's announce it as soon as we get down there. But first…" Nolan paused and put his index finger in the air. "Wait," he urged as he ran to his bedroom.

He returned with a small, worn, burgundy jewelry box and met Lissa on the landing of the stairs. "What do you say, Blondie? Want to make me the luckiest and most grateful man on earth?"

Lissa's chin fell to the ground. She touched the ring lightly, tracing its stones, and smiled up at him. Unable to speak, she shook her head as tears formed in her eyes.

"It was my mom's," Nolan explained as he put the ring on Lissa's finger. "She would've adored you, Liss."

"Guys?! C'mon!" Owen hollered.

"Be right there," Nolan called back lightly. He kissed Lissa and grinned playfully, "Race you to the table." He kept hold of her hand as she attempted to master the stairs with her little legs at the same pace he kept with his long legs. As the space between them widened, Nolan swooped her up to his arms and carried her to the table.

"Finally," Olivia sighed. "We're talking ice cream here, guys. How could it take so long to make it down here for ice cream?"

Lissa kept her left hand on her lap, fearful that her teary eyes and beaming smile were standing out. Luckily, Ria and Ryder received most of the focus as Ryder pretended to not be able to blow out the candles and asked for Ria's help.

Owen and Amelia began dishing up plates and passing them down either side of the table.

"Livie, it's going to be your birthday really soon, too," Nolan pointed out.

"Yep, and you'd better be on time for my cake and ice cream 'cause I _will_ start without you, Nolan," Olivia kidded.

"Actually, I was hoping everyone might come down to LA for Valentine's Day this year," Nolan mused as he squeezed Lissa's hand under the table.

"For Valentine's Day?" Amelia questioned. Without making eye contact, she casually shared, "It's a Monday this year, hon. Maybe we could visit during Spring Break."

"I'd love that, too, Mom," Nolan grinned. "But Valentine's Day is going to be pretty eventful this year."

"Valentine's? It comes around every year, Nole," Amelia pointed out casually as she licked stray ice cream off her finger.

"This is a one-time event," Nolan teased.

"How's that?" Owen inquired, looking up from slicing cake.

"There's going to be a small, invitation-only celebration on the beach before sunset," Nolan detailed.

"For what?" Ryder questioned, more eager to eat cake and ice cream than to win at Nolan's guessing game.

Listening more carefully than anyone else and noting Lissa's dreamy expression, Ria yelled with exuberance, "Are you getting married?!" Before Nolan could answer, Lissa nodded and put her hand on the table.

All of the kids erupted into cheers. As they ran to hug the couple, Owen reached over tentatively and placed his trembling hand atop Amelia's. Amelia smirked and looked at his blank expression. With her free hand, she shared her hunch by patting her belly.

Owen blinked slowly and whispered, "Yeah." They weren't angry or sad, but neither were they ecstatic and joyful. They watched as Lucas jumped up and down, cheering and attempting to climb on Nolan's back. The twins pushed and maneuvered in front of one another, seeking to examine Lissa's ring.

With confidence, Olivia pointed out to her little sisters, "That was Mama Kayla's engagement ring. It's super special." Having been only four when Kayla died, Olivia did not so much remember the ring as she remembered pictures of it and stories about how Kayla had specifically left it to Nolan. Faintly, Olivia recalled silently that there was a story about why the inheritance customarily given to a daughter was earmarked for Nolan.

Ryder, remaining in his seat, displayed a cat-ate-the-canary grin and continually shook his head. He was happy for his brother and for Lissa, but he was even happier that he wasn't the one who ever planned to make such an announcement.

After gently encouraging everyone to sit back down, Owen forced a smile. His soft blue eyes studied Nolan and Lissa lovingly as he shared softly, "Congratulations, you two. Mom and I love you both so much."

"There's more," Nolan added as he glanced at Lissa and wisped her hair behind her ear. He whispered, "Do you want to say it?" Owen and Amelia tightly grasped each other's hand. Lissa shook her head and motioned toward Nolan, who announced, "and we're having a baby."

"No way!" Olivia called out.

"Seriously? Wow… way to go, Nole," Ryder offered.

The littles clapped with joy as Owen and Amelia tried to hide their mixed emotions.

"When are you due, Liss?" Ryder inquired.

Having checked the due date over and over in the weeks since conception, Lissa knew the answer right away. She enthusiastically shared, "September 25."

"Are you having a boy baby or a girl baby?" Lucas asked.

"We don't know yet, Luke," Lissa explained. "Do you have a guess?"

"I think you should have a boy baby and name him the bestest name in the world: Lucas," Luke declared.

"I think Nolan's a pretty awesome name," Nolan countered with a grin.

"Since you're the dad, you can name him Lucas Nolan," Luke nodded with conviction.

"What if it's a girl?" Ryder questioned.

"Olivia!" Olivia exclaimed with her celebratory arms flying in the air.

"Nuh uh, Victoria!" Ria weighed in, her arms imitating Olivia's.

Noticing Anna did not appear impressed with her sisters and their declarations, Nolan wondered aloud, "Anna, would you want your niece named after you if we have a girl?"

"No, I think she should be named Amelia," Anna offered. "Amelia Bedelia Hunt."

Sarcastically, Ryder added in, "Nah… let's go for Amelia Owenette."

"We have a lot of time to come up with names," Lissa reminded the group, hoping to bring the brainstorming to an end before it circled further down the drain.

After cake and ice cream was consumed, the littles tried to listen for the baby by putting their ears against Lissa's tummy. Lissa attempted to reason with them and point out it was far too early to hear or feel the baby. Nonetheless, Lucas insisted his superhero listening powers would assist his efforts.

With the younger kids fawning over Nolan and Lissa, Owen and Amelia remained in the background walking through the after-dessert motions of clearing the table and cleaning up. Although they were oblivious to his assistance, Ryder quietly joined in their efforts. He was unsure what to feel or think about the big news and preferred to watch from afar rather than participate.

As if Ryder was not within ear shot, Owen passed by Amelia at one point and leaned against the kitchen island. He reached out for her arm and whispered with sincerity, "I'd like to come home." Ryder leaned his head back subtly, listening to his parents' crucial conversation.

Amelia stopped walking and turned toward her husband, "If you feel compelled because of tonight's news…"

Interrupting, Owen clarified, "I'd already planned to talk to you tonight." With a soft chuckle, he explained, "I've finally sorted out the underlying challenge and I have no doubt I need you by my side to face it."

Tilting her head, Amelia inquired, "Oh?"

Looking down at his feet and grinning, Owen mumbled, "Yeah…" Owen glanced into Amelia's eyes and disclosed, "I need to let go of trying to orchestrate life."

Leaning into Owen's chest and wrapping her arms around him, Amelia reassured him, "I have a feeling we're facing a number of experiences that will help us practice that."

Kissing the top of her head, Owen requested, "Can I stay tonight? I can't be alone after all this. I need you in my arms."

Becoming teary, Amelia nodded. Feeling her cheek move up and down against his shirt, Owen let out a sigh of relief.

With a slight crack in his voice, Owen disclosed, "I want to be happy for them, Mia. I really do."

"I know," Amelia affirmed.

"They are so…" Owen began and paused. After closing his eyes and furrowing his brow, he resumed, "so damn young. So young."

"I agree," she whispered as she ran her hand over her mouth. "But they can't see us like this, Owen. Not right now. Not on the night they'll remember the rest of their lives."

He kissed her forehead and explained, "I'm going to slide upstairs."

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Amelia promised. Owen stepped away slowly, able to walk up the stairs unnoticed as the littles began imagining how big Lissa's tummy would get before the baby was born. Stuffing pillows in their shirts and bouncing tummies into one another, their giggles filled the room.

Amelia exhaled loudly before turning around and discovering Ryder. His back was to her as he washed dishes and loaded the dishwasher. Her heart skipped a beat as she wondered what he had overheard.

"Hey, Soccer Star, thanks for helping with the dishes," she offered with false enthusiasm and a pat on his back.

"Sure," Ry responded briefly without pausing his cleaning efforts.

She wiped off the counter to his side and urged, "Go celebrate with your siblings, Ry. I can take care of cleaning up."

Turning off the water and setting a dish in the sink, Ryder bore his eyes into his mother's. "Mom," he admitted, "I'm not happy about all this, Mom. I'm sad. What the hell is their hurry?"

"Maybe they didn't plan it," Amelia smirked.

"Yeah, right. Nolan? Not plan out and strategize every step of his life. Get real," Ryder huffed quietly.

"Surprises happen," she insisted.

"That's the most non-Nolan thing ever. He does plans, Mom, not impulsive screw ups," Ryder grumbled as he folded his arms.

Placing her hand on Ryder's shoulder, Amelia encouraged, "Ryder, you have every right to your own perspective and opinion on all this. I won't begin to tell you otherwise. You can interpret this and see it however you do. But I need – me - I need you to hold off saying it to Nolan or Lissa for now. I'm a little shocked by all this too, but I'm going to do whatever I can to put a smile on my face and celebrate with them."

"Why?" Ryder scoffed.

"Because I love them, Ryder. I love them. I can't change what's happening," she stated. "But, you know what? I can decide how to react, and I'm certain I don't want them to remember me flipping out or being angry or having a fit when I found out they were getting married and having my grandchild."

"Hmmm," Ryder considered as he resumed the dishes.

Softly, she informed him, "I'm going to go upstairs and check on Dad."

"Mom?" Ryder responded. "I'm glad he's coming home. We need him here."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Bundled up in the comforter from the bed, Owen sat on a lounge chair placed on the chilly and dark balcony. He'd left the door beside him wide open, allowing wintry winds to blow into the bedroom.

When Amelia opened the bedroom door from the hallway, she immediately shuddered and exclaimed, "Brrrr!"

Walking over to the balcony, she leaned her head outside and suggested, "It's much warmer inside, you know."

Sniffling and trying to hide his tears by covering his eyes with his hand, Owen croaked, "I didn't want anyone to hear me."

As she wrapped a throw over her shoulders, Amelia's heart sank. Owen's devastation was wrenching. She stepped outside and wrapped her arms and legs around his body as she slid her chest against his back. "I'm sorry," she offered with a throaty mumble.

Scoffing between sniffles, Owen huffed, "For what?"

"For your pain. That you are sad. That life feels so overwhelming," she responded.

"You haven't done that to me," he reasoned.

"I'm still sorry. On behalf of the universe, the hospital, the family, the past, whatever… I'm sorry. I'm sorry life hurts, Owen," she mused.

"Me too…" he barely muttered. The waves in the water below filled the silence as the couple sat together. Speaking after a long pause, Owen eeked out, "I really want to be happy for them. I want to rise to the occasion. Be the strong, confident, reassuring Dad. Instead, I feel like crawling into a cave and never coming out. What's this going to do to their future? What about all Nolan's big dreams? All his career aspirations? What about precious, little Lissa being an amazing Kindergarten teacher? They're eighteen. _Eighteen._ "

"When I was eighteen…" Amelia began. "I was just pulling my head out of my addicted ass and barely knew what to do next. Better they be expecting a child at 18 than someone like me."

Chuckling, Owen insisted, "I didn't mean to imply…"

"You didn't imply a thing. I'm searching for a way to make sense of this news," Amelia confessed.

The two sat on the frigid balcony, too emotionally numb to sense the chill in the air. Sitting in reassuring silence, they both jumped slightly when they heard a knock at the bedroom door.

When he didn't hear a response, Nolan opened the door just enough to be heard but not seen, "Dad?"

Clearing his throat, Owen sat up and called, "Out here, Nole. C'mon in." Owen wiped his eyes with his hand on the off chance that a tear or two remained visible.

The two met halfway between the hallway and balcony doors. "What's up?" Owen asked with a smirk.

"I was hoping maybe we could talk – you and me," Nolan sputtered quietly. "Lissa just went to bed – she's wiped out. I could really use… well, could we go somewhere and talk?"

"Yeah," Owen nodded confidently as he placed his hand on Nolan's shoulder. "Somewhere like where? Another room? The apartment?"

"Your apartment sounds good," Nolan nodded with obvious distraction. "Let me go let Liss know we're gonna go hang out. Meet your downstairs in a few?"

"Sure," Owen confirmed as he pursed his lips. "I'll let Mom know."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

The drive to the apartment was silent. Owen offered to take the Boxster, but he realized that was a horrible choice about halfway there. The little car would only hold so much if he ended up packing anything after he and Nolan talked. While he lost himself in thoughts of moving home, Nolan was consumed with fear in a way he'd never experienced.

As the Boxster sped down the road, Nolan worried about how life would unfold. The plan had always been to marry Lissa and to have children together. But not yet. Not during his first year of college. Just the same, he wasn't about to show Lissa his distress.

The two men entered the apartment and Nolan took off his coat after stepping inside. As he hung it up, Owen stepped over to the kitchen. "I'm not sure I have much to offer. Coke? Beer?" Owen stated.

"Coke sounds great," Nolan responded without emotion as he surveyed the space. Owen handed the drink to him and invited him to sit on the couch.

"What's it been like… living here, I mean?" Nolan asked. It seemed as if he was attempting to make conversation, but his lack of interest in the conversation proved he was only avoiding the topic weighing heavily on his heart and mind.

"Tough. Someday I'll tell you the long story – how I needed to step away to screw my messed up head on straight. Tonight's not the night for that," Owen mused as he gazed into the black sky out the window and drank his beer. "What's up, son?"

"I've really messed up, haven't I?" Nolan mumbled as he gazed at his knees.

"Huh?" Owen reacted as he pulled his head back.

"Lissa's pregnant. I'm gonna be a Dad. A husband. I'm flipping out, Dad," Nolan admitted from the depths of his soul. With his voice cracking, he spoke through shallow breaths, "What's this all gonna mean, Dad?"

Owen stared with compassion at Nolan before responding. "It's ok to fall apart, Nolan."

Facing away from Owen and attempting to hide the tears he could not control, Nolan lied, "I'm… I'm ok. Just overwhelmed."

Letting the silence linger so the reality might sink in even more deeply, Owen chose not to respond. Within a minute, Nolan had fallen into Owen's arms and was sobbing heavily. Not having had much respite from his own tears, Owen ached as his young son faced such grown up realities.

There was no question about whether or not Nolan could handle or rise to the challenges before him – if anyone could, it was Nolan. But the guilt and shame – both self-induced – would be his nemesis. Far more than Nolan knew, Owen was the perfect person to accompany him on such a struggle. Owen knew the realities of beating oneself up with regret.

After hours of tears and talking, Nolan was able to breathe more steadily. Owen's wisdom and listening had provided a rudder that steadied the rocking boat of Nolan's life.

"Do you want to crash here?" Owen offered as Nolan yawned.

Scoffing, Nolan joked, "Not a good plan – Liss will think I ran away."

"She'll need you in the coming days," Owen observed. "But from recent experience, I need to tell you that she also needs you to need her. Don't close off from her emotionally, Nolan."

Not completely appreciating Owen's insight, Nolan nodded and grinned. "Let's go home, Dad."

"Sounds good," Owen nodded.


	54. Chapter 54 - Glimpses Before the Big Day

Chapter 54 A Pivotal Year – Glimpses Before the Big Day

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11**

 **Annabelle 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½**

 **The days preceding February 14**

Just a few days after their engagement, Nolan returned to USC and dove deeply into his studies, determined not to let his upcoming life changes adversely affect his studies. At least that was how he explained it to others. Actually, memorizing formulas and analyzing equations helped him deny his fear about what the coming days would bring.

By the end of January, details were falling in to place. Lissa's belongings were shipped to Los Angeles. Time off, both at work and at school, was arranged. Plane tickets were purchased and the family planned to join together at the beach on the 14th. Life was changing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

The day Lissa caught her flight to Los Angeles, the whole family accompanied her to the airport. Lingering as long as they could, everyone offered their goodbyes multiple times. Group selfies were taken and sent to Nolan with silly notes such as, _She decided to take all of us with her. We'll see you soon_ and _A wife, a baby, why not moving in a few siblings too?_

Before the final moments together arrived, Lissa and Amelia stole away a few moments alone. The two sat in uncomfortable airport chairs across from the ticket counter. Their arms were around one another as they whispered, wept, and giggled.

"Are you scared?" Amelia asked.

"Overwhelmed," Lissa nodded. "I'll probably get scared later," she reasoned. "Right now, I need to find an OB, stock our kitchen, score some furniture for the house, and figure out what I'm wearing to the wedding."

"Your empty calendar just filled up," Amelia smirked. "Welcome to motherhood."

"I hope you aren't unhappy about this, Amma. I'm so sorry if you are," Lissa confessed.

Amelia pressed her lips together thoughtfully, "Unhappy? No. Surprised? A little. Worried? A lot. Eager to hold the baby? Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Being called Gramma? I'll have to get used to that one."

Lissa giggled. "There's always Amma."

"True," Amelia agreed. "As far as an OB, I can set you up with Addison Montgomery. She's like a sister to me and is a brilliant doctor. Nolan knows her, and I have no doubt she will take great care of you and the baby."

Lissa revealed. "Give me her number and I'll give her a call. I'll take all the help I can get."

Amelia reached over and grasped Lissa's hand while leaning her head on Lissa's shoulder, "I'm going to hate being far away from you as your tiny tummy expands. Lots of FaceTime, right?"

"Absolutely," Lissa agreed, "and lots of visits back and forth."

Owen checked the time and reluctantly interrupted, "Lissa, you should probably go through security." He reached toward Amelia and grasped her hand firmly.

Trying her best not to cry, Amelia offered her final hug and predicted, "There's a handsome guy who is probably already parked at LAX and anxiously awaiting your arrival. Give him a hug from his Mommy." Lissa, also holding back tears, nodded.

She knelt down before the littles, plastering on a happy face as she promised she would send them pictures regularly. Kissing each one, Lissa shared love and encouragement. "Love you, Lucas. Keep sharing your happy smiles and silliness with everyone. Save up some big giant hugs for Nolan."

"I love you, Lissa. Don't ever, ever forget me, okay?" Lucas reciprocated. Lissa pecked his cheek and assured him he was unforgettable.

"Annabelle," Lissa emphasized as she stroked her long red hair, "Remember to let Ria and Lucas take turns being the leader sometimes. You have a gentle and kind heart – remind it all the time that Nolan and I love you."

"Tell Nolan to call me sometimes. I miss him," Anna ordered as she wrapped her arms around Lissa and kissed her on her cheeks.

Taking a slow breath, Lissa hugged Ria, stating, "Victoria, stay determined and tender. Keep running and exercising that leg. We love, love, love you, sweetie."

"Love, love, love you too," Ria echoed. "And Nolan!" She leaned toward Lissa's ear and requested, "Can you remember to tell him that he's my favoritist brother ever?"

Lissa nodded before standing up and tearfully hugging Olivia, saying, "You are so precious to me, Olivia. I love you so much."

Whispering, Olivia confessed, "You're my favorite sister and you're a special friend." Then, loudly enough to remind Owen and Amelia that a big plan was already in the works, Olivia reassured Lissa, "Remember, I'm coming to visit all by myself this summer."

Lissa stopped to wipe tears from her eyes as she grinned at Ryder. Rolling his eyes dramatically, Ryder raised his eyebrows as if their upcoming embrace would be painful for him. Once wrapped in each other's arms, he disclosed, "Love you, Liss. Take good care of my niece."

"Or nephew," Lissa chuckled in his ear.

"Nope. She's a girl," Ry insisted as he patted her belly.

"Ok," Owen exhaled as he picked up Lissa's signature giant purse and handed it to her. Wrapping her arms around Owen tightly, Lissa could no longer hold her tears. "Thank you, Dads. You have been so good to me, even when I didn't deserve it. I love you."

"I love you, too, Larissa," he grinned. Looking her in the eye, he promised, "Everything's going to be great."

Lissa nodded before turning toward security and walking to the line. After showing her ID to the agent, she turned around one last time and blew a kiss to everyone. Owen placed an arm firmly around Olivia and held Lucas in his other arm. Amelia held Anna and hugged her tightly. Ryder put Ria on his shoulders and set his hand on Amelia's shoulder. Holding on to one another, the big family felt smaller as they softly wept and walked to the Enclave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Lissa! Love you, love you, love you," Nolan oozed as he ran to Lissa the moment she crossed over from security at LAX. He picked her up and twirled her in his arms, kissing her repeatedly and proclaiming, "Shorty, I am so happy to hold you."

Once her feet touched the ground, Lissa leaned heavily into Nolan's side as his arm wrapped around her. "Now, tell me how you've been feeling," Nolan inquired with seriousness.

Smiling, Lissa pointed out, "It's only been about two hours since the last time you asked me that, Trems."

"That was before you and Little Trems flew," Nolan emphasized. "How was flying?"

"I slept," she admitted with a cheeky grin.

Squeezing her tightly, Nolan teased, "Of course, you did."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

When they pulled up to the house, Lissa barely recognized it. The front had been painted and newly landscaped. She spotted her car in the garage as Nolan pulled the Jeep inside. With careful attention, he walked around and helped Lissa out of the Jeep, commenting, "I guess it would have made more sense to drive your car to the airport, huh?"

Shrugging, Lissa commented, "Let's use the Jeep as long as we can. It'll be fine as long as you keep helping me in and out of it like you always have." She walked from the garage into the kitchen, stopping at the entry unexpectedly. Nolan, right behind her with an armful of Lissa's baggage, nearly bumped into her and knocked her down.

"Why'd you stop?" Nolan questioned with a laugh.

"I'm taking it all in," Lissa mused with wonder. "This is _our first home_ , Nolan."

"Are you going to start crying?" Nolan asked with hesitation. In addition to all the napping, weeping seemed to have become Lissa's other go-to pastime.

She turned and playfully pushed his shoulder, "No! Now be nice to me – I'm carrying your child."

"Good grief… that's going to be a fun phrase to hear for the next few months," Nolan kidded as he lightly tapped her butt. "Get inside, Blondie." He was trying desperately to be playful and positive in the midst of their harsh reality.

As soon as he stepped inside, Nolan urged Lissa to jump on his back. "I'm going to refresh your memory and give you the grand tour. This is our completely empty kitchen. Plastic cups and paper plates are there on the counter. I didn't want to fill up all the cabinets without your input," he joked as she giggled.

"And over here is our empty dining room." Galloping like a little boy, Nolan continued, "Turning this way is our almost-empty living room, complete with a TV on a cheap stand I bought at Target and two folding papasan chairs that were on sale." Gliding into the hallway, he pointed briefly at the spare bedroom, stating, "There's Little Trems room – he or she hasn't chosen furniture yet so it's currently storing all the boxes that you shipped down. Bathroom over here, laundry room on your right – washer and dryer left by the sellers work great. And here," he paused at the closed door to their bedroom, "is your newly expanded bedroom. I went ahead and bought a bed without you because I wasn't about to do the air mattress thing until you arrived." He opened the door and she gasped as she took in a painted, fully decorated room complete with a bedroom set and the newly remodeled bathroom.

"Nolan!" she exclaimed. "Absolutely beautiful!"

"Wanna nap?" he flirted.

When she paused, he pointed out, "Basically, unless you want to stand, the bed is your only option."

"Convenient," she grumbled with a husky voice. "Sounds like you planned that out."

"Ha!" he spouted as he leaned back and gently placed her on the bed. Sliding down beside her, he stroked her hair and kissed her, whispering, "Wanna make a baby?"

"We already did that," she quipped.

"Wanna pretend to make a baby?" he suggested with raised eyebrows as he began unbuttoning his shirt. Nolan's age and goofiness stood in contrast to the mature situations his future held.

Amelia sat in Owen's office at the hospital. After a deep breath, she dialed Addison's number…again. _She's going to make fun of me,_ Amelia moaned to herself. _She's going to call me 'Grandma.'_ Like every previous attempt, she couldn't bring herself to wait for an answer before hanging up.

Owen came in, distracted by the paperwork in his hand. When he stepped inside, he glanced up and saw his wife sitting in his desk chair. Scoffing, he stated with lighthearted disbelief, "You still haven't spoken to her?!"

"No," Amelia admitted. With a pout, she explained, "She's going to call me the G word. I'm just not ready for that."

"I could always bring your brother in here and we could tell him the news," Owen chuckled. "I'm sure he'd love to be the first one to call you Gr…"

Interrupting abruptly, Amelia called out, "Don't say it, Gramps!" Owen bent down and placed his hands on the armrests of the chair. Stopping within inches of her face, he inquired with a half grin, "Why then, my dear Mia, is it completely acceptable to call me Gramps every chance you get?" After offering a wink, he kissed her repeatedly and hummed with amusement.

"Hunt – I need you to weigh in on…Oh, excuse me," Derek offered as he let himself into the office.

"Right," Owen stood up, stroking Amelia's chin with his hand quickly before turning his attention to Derek. "Do you have the surgical plan?"

"It's in your hand," Derek pointed out with his best arrogant smirk. As he waited for Owen to review the paperwork, Amelia answered her ringing phone.

"Hey there, Addie," Amelia greeted her dear friend with an awkward hello.

"Why do you keep calling and hanging up?" Addison inquired. "Are you feeling particularly like a pesky little sister today or what?"

With a forced laugh, Amelia explained, "I… I don't know what you mean. I've been having problems with my phone this morning."

"Amelia…" Addison stated with a slight warning. "What's going on?"

"I have a patient to refer to you," Owen glanced over at Amelia, wondering how she would navigate the conversation with Derek sitting on the couch. Without any shame whatsoever, he listened to every word Amelia spoke.

"Great. Someone here in LA? Because I really don't feel like trudging up to Seattle when it's all rainy and dark," Addie commented.

"She's there, in Los Angeles. First time Mom," Amelia sputtered.

"Does she have a name? Or shall I just call her Patient X?" Addison jabbed.

"Let me go grab her file. I'll call you right back," Amelia shared, hanging up before Addie had a chance to protest.

As Amelia stood, Owen couldn't help but have a little fun at his wife's expense. "You can use the tablet there on my desk, Mia. No need to step away."

Narrowing her eyes, Amelia responded, "Thanks anyway, Owen. I'll leave you boys to your surgical reviews."

After Amelia walked across the hallway to the empty conference room, she called Addison. "What the hell was all that?" Addison questioned with a laugh.

"My brother. Argh. Anyway, there's no easy way to say this," Amelia paused as she bit her bottom lip.

" _You're_ not pregnant again, are you? Good God, Amelia, six isn't enough?!" Addison teased.

"Six is more, more, more than enough," Amelia laughed. "It's… umm… a whole new generation."

"What?" Addison asked slowly and softly.

"Larissa," Amelia stated numbly. "Nolan's longtime girlfriend…"

"You're going to be a Grandma!" Addison declared with glee as she raised her voice.

"Don't call me that, Addie," Amelia indicated blankly.

"Ha ha, Grandma!" Addison repeated with a cackle. "Little Amy is going to be a Grandma."

"Not funny," Amelia began to growl as her tone changed to laughter. "What the hell, huh?"

"But Nolan – he's like 12, right? Oh my… this _isn't_ funny, is it?" Addison sputtered with seriousness.

"He's 18. So is she," Amelia clarified.

"He can't be 18," Addison gasped. "He's 18?!"

"Just last month," Amelia confirmed.

"And he's going to be a Daddy," Addison flatly confirmed. After taking a deep and audible breath, Addison assured Amelia, "I'm in doctor-mode now, I promise. No more jokes. Tell me what's going on."

"She's due late September. Had some implantation bleeding that she mistook for a period. Conceived early in January," Amelia reported.

"I just have to ask: how in the world do _you_ – the Mom – know her conception date?" Addison challenged.

"Their first time was a series of firsts over a long weekend. I gave them condoms. Maybe I should've provided more," Amelia shrugged.

"Wow," Addison paused with shock. "I can add her to my caseload, but why me? Do you anticipate complications?"

"I haven't examined her, if that's what you mean. There's no obvious reason to expect problems, but she's 18, scared, and getting married. Owen and I are the closest thing she has to parents. Auntie Addie seemed like a reassuring option," Amelia explained.

"I'm happy to help… Grandma!" Addison began seriously before bursting into fits of laughter. "When's the wedding?"

"That's part two of my call. They want to be married on the beach a little before sunset on Valentine's Day," Amelia shared.

"Who doesn't?" Addison smirked.

"Can we take over your deck? Make my grandkid legit?" Amelia quipped.

"There's the Amy I know and love," Addison mused. "Of course you can. The place next door – your old place – is vacant right now. How about if the Shepherd-Hunt troops take it over?"

"I love you, Addie," Amelia sighed with relief.

"Of course you do," Addie chuckled. "Have Mrs. Nolan call me and we'll get her in right away. And when are you arriving?"

"It's Larissa," Amelia corrected and added, "Probably on Friday the 11th. Will that work?"

"Of course it will. I can't wait to see you," Addison reassured her friend. "And, truly, Amy, congratulations."

After Amelia hung up, she sent a text to Lissa with Addison's information. Within ten minutes, Lissa had an appointment for the following day with the OB/GYN specialist who had an impossibly long waiting list.


	55. Chapter 55 - Woobie

Chapter 55

A Pivotal Year – Woobie

Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder 14, Olivia just shy of 11

Annabelle 6, Victoria 6, Lucas 4½

Little Trems – 7 ½ weeks along

Thursday, February 10

Nolan and Lissa, looking like lost puppies, held hands and waited in Jake and Addison's swanky waiting room. Their young and uneasy appearances stood in contrast to the two older and more polished couples in the same space. One couple, likely in their early 40s, continually glanced over with a mixture of compassion and pity. The other couple simply ignored them.

After ten minutes of waiting, a nurse ushered Nolan and Lissa to a scale and then to a room. After taking Lissa's vitals, the nurse described Dr. Montgomery's process. Before Lissa saw the doctor, the nurse would obtain blood and urine samples. Next, the doctor would come in to speak with the couple.. After stepping out so the patient could change into the gown, Dr. Montgomery would perform an initial exam.

As the nurse completed the blood draw, Addison walked in and hugged Nolan, "You're all grown up, Nolan!" She turned to Lissa and offered a hug, "Larissa? I believe we met briefly years ago."

"I think so," Lissa smiled. "Nice to see you again."

Addison opened Lissa's patient file and flipped through some pages. "Thank you for filling out the huge packet. I know there are a lot of questions. Did you have any questions for me about anything on the forms?" Addison inquired.

Naively, Lissa over-explained, "On my last period – I wasn't sure. I thought I had one mid-January, but Amma… umm, Dr. Shepherd, thinks it was implantation bleeding. Do I count that one or not?"

"Do you know why Dr. Shepherd came to that conclusion?" Addie wondered aloud.

"We – Nolan and I – we were… umm… together over a long weekend, so that's when it had to have happened," Lissa offered vaguely.

Nolan sat in a chair near the exam table uncomfortably looking around the office and shifting in his seat. While she took note of his demeanor, Addison continued with Lissa.

"The bleeding?" Addison sought to clarify.

"No," Lissa blinked uncomfortably. "The baby."

"You know when you conceived," Addison stated with reassurance. Lissa nodded. After a few back and forth clarifications, Addison confirmed, "That means LMP was mid-December if you're on a regular cycle and we can expect the baby in late September."

"Now that we've determined the due date, let me explain what we'll do today. I want to spend some time with both of you discussing pregnancy – what you can expect, potential concerns, screening tests to consider. First, we'll review a few areas of the packet you filled out, and I'll do a pelvic exam. Nolan can stay for that or step out – it's up to you, Larissa."

"I can wait in the other room," Nolan volunteered as he stood, eager to escape the strange situation of listening to his mother's dear friend and his fiancée discuss exams and the child he'd recently fathered. Although Nolan didn't spot Lissa's angry glare, Addison did.

"Not just yet, Nolan," Addison smiled. "I noticed your portion of the packet has some blanks. I have a few questions about your family medical history. Are you aware of your biological parents' histories? Any genetic issues, birth defects, or pregnancy challenges? Did you or your siblings face any developmental delays?"

"I'm pretty sure that's all fine," Nolan sputtered. "I'm not aware of anything, but I could check with my dad. He might know."

"Owen?" Addison confirmed.

"Yeah. He was my mom's cousin," Nolan explained.

"Let's check with Owen then. Perhaps he has some of that medical history," Addison confirmed. "Did or do you or your siblings have any health issues?"

"No. My sister and I wear glasses, but that's about as exciting as it gets," Nolan shrugged.

Addison smiled widely, "Unexciting medical histories are great as far as I'm concerned."

Turning toward Lissa, Addison announced, "I'll give you a moment to change, then we'll get the exam underway."

Nolan attempted to hightail his way out of the exam room at a rapid pace. After kissing Lissa's cheek, he assured her, "I'll be in the waiting room, Blondie."

With a flirty tone, she pouted, "You need to be in here, Nolan. You're like my blankie – you help me feel safe and secure."

"I'm your woobie, huh?" Nolan chuckled. When the Tremblay kids were tiny, Kayla had used that term for their blankies, special stuffed animals, and other comfort items. "I'll wait in the other room – you can pretend I'm in the washer and that you can't wait to see me."

"No, you need to stay in here," Larissa asserted.

Awkwardly shifting his weight from one leg to another, Nolan tried to display a charming smile as he attempted to coax, "Liss… I've known her since I was eleven. Being in here while she's… you know… checking you out…"

"Examining me, Nolan. Doctors examine their patients. You like to check me out," Lissa corrected.

"I can't be in here. It'll be too weird," he proclaimed.

"Grow up and get over yourself, Trems," Lissa sounded with resolve. "If you were old enough to make the baby, you're old enough to…"

"Liss…" Nolan interrupted with a mixture of whining and declaring.

"Nolan James?" Lissa huffed as she widened her eyes with insistence. Quieting her voice, she added, "It's not like you haven't seen any of this before or touched it or played with it or put your mouth…"

Interrupting again, Nolan threw up his hand as if signaling a stop and whispered sharply, "Are you really going to go there, Larissa?"

"What's your problem, Nolan? Why wouldn't you want to be in here with me and the baby?" Lissa inquired with folded arms and a tightened jaw.

Addison knocked on the door and asked, "About ready?"

"A little more time, please," Lissa countered as plainly as she could.

"How about if you open the door just a little when you're ready?" Addison suggested.

Lissa began uncharacteristically tearing off her clothes and throwing them on the ground as she pushed her arms through the sleeves of the gown. Without a word, Nolan approached her from behind and tied the gown for her. As he offered his arm to help her climb onto the exam table, he told her quietly with a face filled with disgust, "Babe, I'm not ready for all this medical stuff and being in the room when my aunt has her hands on you and in you."

"Get the hell out of here, Nolan. Whatever," Lissa snarled as she lay down on the table and flopped onto the pillow behind her.

"Liss… I didn't mean…" he started to apologize.

With gritted teeth and without making eye contact, Lissa growled, "Get. Out."

"I'll be in the waiting room," Nolan resigned as he stepped out and left the door ajar.

When Addison entered, she began by questioning, "Is everything ok?"

With a fake smile and voice, Lissa sung, "Yep. Fine."

"Let's start with your blood pressure," Addison suggested, rearranging her routine.

"The nurse already did that earlier," Lissa explained.

Addison grinned as she placed the cuff around Lissa's arm. "Hmm… 130/85. A little high. Are you experiencing any pain or unusual stress, Larissa?"

"Nope." With a forced giggle, she lied, "I'm a little nervous about all this exam stuff. Could that be it?"

"Sit up, Larissa," Addison ordered flatly as she offered her hand to Lissa. Addie looked directly in Lissa's eyes and explained, "If we're going to do this, we need to be a team. No exaggerating, no acting perky when you're ready to pummel someone. Fess up. What's going on?"

"Dr. Montgomery," Lissa replied, "you were so kind about squeezing us in right away. You're a busy doctor. Let's just keep going."

"Larissa, when you become stressed, the baby becomes stressed. Have you considered that?" Addison pushed sternly, wondering if she was going too far.

Looking away and blinking rapidly, Larissa tried to breathe deeply. As her voice cracked, Lissa requested, "Could we just finish up whatever we need to do today, please?"

Sliding her stool in front of Lissa so they could face one another, Addison gently offered, "Hey…" She placed her hand on Lissa's arm. "You can say whatever you need to say in here. I won't repeat it to anyone, even Nolan."

With tears trickling down her face, Lissa disclosed, "He didn't want to stay in here. He said he wasn't ready and that it would be too weird for him."

Addison listened without response as Lissa unraveled. "What if… what if we have the baby and it's all too weird for him? Then what? Or what about when I'm in labor? Is he going to run and hide because he isn't ready?" Lissa was clear she wanted him by her side as much as possible. At the same time, she recognized that Nolan might need to ease his way into all the unfamiliar experiences. For the first time since Lissa had met him, an experience had presented itself and Nolan wasn't ready to fully engage with gusto. The unchartered territory of Nolan showing fear and doubt terrified her.

Addie stood up and hugged Lissa, especially feeling the sorrow because of her connection with Amelia. "Let it all out, Larissa," she encouraged the young mom-to-be as she patted her back. "I promise you he isn't the first Dad to panic and run to the waiting room."

Within a few minutes, Lissa began to calm down. Addie shared wisdom she had garnered over the years that helped Lissa's perspective. In addition, the doctor shared stories that lightened the mood and brought a little laughter.

"How about if I go ask Nolan to come back in?" Addison suggested.

Lissa shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. "He'll probably refuse, but you can try."

Not long afterward, Nolan came through the door followed by Addison. He stepped over and hugged Lissa, whispering, "I'm sorry, Babe." In response, Lissa nodded and offered a small smirk.

Addison listened to Lissa's heart and lungs, peered into her ears and throat, and tested her reflexes. After draping a large sheet over Lissa's legs, Addison performed the pelvic exam. Nolan kept his eyes focused on Lissa the entire time and enveloped her hand in his two hands.

"That's all the not-so-fun parts," Addison announced. "How about if we reward ourselves with a peek at the baby and listen to the heartbeat?"

"That happens today?" Nolan sputtered with awe.

As she prepared the ultrasound, Addison explained, "The heart has been beating for a couple weeks now." Just before she placed the transducer on Lissa's tiny bump, Nolan stopped her and asked if he could record the images and sound on his phone. "Absolutely," Addison affirmed.

True to their generation, Lissa added, "Can we conference in Amma and Dads?"

"My parents," Nolan clarified.

Addison agreed and was soon greeting Owen and Amelia.

"I had no idea you two would call," Owen mused happily. "Thank you, guys." His phone was propped up on his desk and he leaned closer in anticipation. Amelia worked her way on to Owen's lap with a giggle as she blew kisses to the kids.

After confirming everyone was ready, Addison stated, "Let's see if the baby will cooperate with this production." She placed the transducer on Lissa and the heartbeat was immediately heard.

With tears falling from all five witnesses, Nolan leaned toward the screen and touched the image of the baby with his forefinger. "Hey, Little Trems," he greeted softly as he grasped Lissa's hand firmly.

"Larissa Lorraine, look what we made," he tenderly declared.

"I see two arms and two legs stretching out!" Amelia confirmed with awe.

"Steady and strong heartbeat," Owen noted. "How are the measurements, Addison?"

"So far, so good. We'll analyze all that soon enough, Doctor," Addison assured Owen before inquiring, "Mama? Any questions?"

"Just relief," Lissa sighed happily. "There's only one baby and he or she seems perfect."

"Just like his or her Mommy," Nolan smirked.

After the high of the ultrasound, Addison was fairly certain that neither Nolan nor Lissa heard much of anything she shared with them afterward in her office. She gave them a book and emphasized, "Feel free to call if anything comes up or if you have any questions. Call even if your questions seem trivial or silly. Better to check out any concerns."

As if walking on a cloud, the young couple departed. The tensions about whether or not Nolan would be present for the exam had long faded. A glimpse of a tiny baby was all anyone needed to regain perspective.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

At dinner that night in Seattle, Owen and Amelia were bursting at the seams to describe the ultrasound to the kids. Nolan had sent them his video, and they were eager to offer its Pacific Northwest Premier.

First, however, they needed to ensure that bags were packed for the trip to LA the following day. Halfway through dinner, Owen began quizzing each child about what was packed and what remained to be packed. The twins and Lucas were ready for a parent to provide a final check and Ryder, well aware of Owen's customary limit, reported his compliance with the expectations.

When Owen asked Olivia how her packing was going, she openly shared, "I have my backpack from school and that red bag Mama gave me to use and the two blue suitcases." After a momentary pause, she added, "Oh, and my purse." Inspired by Lissa, Olivia had recently begun dragging a large bag with her wherever she went. Ryder, much to his sister's dismay, liked to call it her "woobie."

"That's too much, Livs," Owen shrugged.

"Nuh-uh, Daddy!" Olivia protested. "You said I could have all that. You promised."

"Olivia," Owen corrected seriously, "that is not what I said. I told you that you could have one carry on, one purse or backpack, and one checked bag."

"But, Daddy, all my stuff won't fit. I've tried and tried," she claimed.

"You'll need to try again, Livs," Owen stated clearly. "Or I'll come take a look and repack for you."

"Nooooo," Olivia reacted. "Mama! He can't do that, can he?"

Amelia tilted her head and smiled halfway as she raised her eyebrows, "I suggest you try packing again, Olivia."

Sensing her sister's growing frustration with the injustices of baggage limits, Anna pointed out, "If you say 'stupid,' Daddy's gonna get mad, Olivia."

"Anna just said 'stupid'!" Lucas called out. "I heard it."

"I was saying it to tell Olivia not to say it, Stupid," Anna huffed.

"See! She said it again," Lucas reported with determination. "And she said it about me this time and that's mean."

"Are you stupid?" Ryder grumbled.

"No!" Lucas declared.

"Then why listen to her? She's obviously wrong, Squirt," Ryder rolled his eyes.

"I don't like Squirt either. It's a dumb name," Lucas bellowed.

"Lucas just said dumb," Anna tattled.

Amelia and Owen caught eyes and simultaneously sighed. "Aren't you thrilled to be back home, O?" Amelia winked.

With a half chuckle and a peek at his wife out of the corner of his eye, Owen grinned before laying down the law. He cleared his throat loudly and stated, "Enough."

Like deer in headlights, all of the kids froze. Counting was never a good sign nor was a loud whistle when he couldn't get their attention. However, the throat clearing and the declarative command was always a sure sign that Owen meant business.

"Anna and Lucas, you can do dishes together tonight. There will be no talking because you'll both be thinking about what words are allowed and what words are not. Anna…" Owen stopped, spotting that Anna was about to protest. "I don't want to hear any explanations, excuses, or arguments." As if on cue, Anna closed her mouth and exhaled hopelessly.

Ryder leaned back in his chair, thrilled to be off dish duty. He surveyed the table with a Grinch-like grin, basically gloating in being set free from his least favorite job.

"Ry," Owen corrected, "Chair legs on the floor, please." After taking and swallowing a bite of his dinner, Owen continued, "I'm going to need your help loading up the Enclave after dinner, Ryder. Stay down here when you've finished eating."

Amelia leaned toward Owen and mumbled, "Remember that we have the video tonight."

"Oh yeah," Owen recalled. Looking at the kids, he proposed, "Instead of everyone sharing highs and lows tonight, Mom and I have a surprise." The littles wiggled in their seats, Olivia sat up taller and Ryder glanced over with an expression of utter disinterest.

Adding to the news, Amelia announced, "Nolan and Lissa called us today, and they used their phone so Daddy and I could hear the baby's heartbeat and see a picture of the baby."

"How does the baby know when to smile if it's in Lissa's tummy? Does it have x-ray vision like a super hero?" Lucas mused with wonder.

With a chuckle, Owen explained, "Aunt Addison used an ultrasound to see inside Lissa's tummy."

"I want an ultrasound," Ria begged. "to see what's in my tummy."

"Better not be a baby in there," Ryder groaned. Amelia shot him a look that indicated he knew better than to say that aloud and also that she was holding back laughter from his smart ass comment.

"How's the multrasound work?" Lucas inquired.

Owen began to explain as if he were speaking to Nolan, "It uses sound waves…"

"Owen… stop, Handsome," Amelia corrected quietly. Assuming the task of answering Lucas' question, she added, "It's like magic, Lukie. You put this tool on top of someone's belly and it can peek inside their body."

"Wow…" Lucas responded. "Can we see inside Lissa's tummy? Is there a DVD or is it on Netflix?"

"It's on my phone," Owen bragged proudly. "Let's all take a look." He led them to the playroom and set up the system so Nolan's video played on the TV.

"Umm…Daddy?" Ria peeped as she pulled on Owen's shirt tail. "It kinda doesn't look all the way like a baby. Is it ok?"

Owen smiled and picked Ria up, explaining, "It's developing. Instead of fingers right now, all of its hand is connected like a mitten. See? But the baby will grow and grow and will look all the way like a baby when its born. Daddy has a book he can show you with pictures of a baby growing in a Mama. We can look at it later."

"How come the face is so blobby?" Lucas wondered aloud.

"Because it's still growing and being created, Squirt," Ryder responded, obviously far more intrigued by the images that he wanted to admit. "I'm calling it Woobie until it has a name," he announced.

"How big is Woobie in real life, Daddy?" Anna inquired, immediately adopting Ryder's idea..

"Mia?" Owen called out toward the kitchen, "How big is a fetus at 8 weeks gestation?"

"Just over half an inch. Neural pathways are beginning to form and nerves are starting to function," she responded. Her voice became clearer as she spoke because she decided to join the family and admire the baby.

Amelia knelt down by Anna and displayed the baby's approximate size. "It's bigger on TV than in Lissa's tummy!" Anna gasped with wonder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

That night, as Nolan and Lissa lay in bed, she relaxed her body against his broad chest. With his arm wrapped around her from behind, his hand rested above their tiny baby.

"This is unreal," she voiced with a stunned tone.

With a gentle scoff, Nolan nodded.

"I feel like we're playing house, not actually living in our own house," Lissa mused.

He kissed her cheek and whispered, "No doubt."

She sighed heavily, "What the hell have we done, Nolan?"

"We made a baby," Nolan responded flatly.

"Yeah… we made a baby." Lissa confirmed as she closed her eyes and surrendered to her emotional and physical exhaustion.


	56. Chapter 56 - Names

Chapter 56 A Pivotal Year – Names

 **Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder 14, Olivia 2 days shy of 11**

 **Annabelle 6, Victoria 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Little Woobie Trems – 7 ½ weeks along**

 **Friday, February 11**

Keeping Anna and Lucas separated provided for an argument free plane ride. Ryder sat in his own row and was able to pretend that he didn't know the young children nearby. Owen, Anna and Olivia claimed seats 12 A, B, and C, and Amelia, Lucas, and Victoria settled in at seats 13 D, E, and F. The family was close enough to one another to communicate when necessary, but separated enough to ensure a pleasant experience for all.

Olivia kept Anna entertained with word finds and number puzzles while Owen stretched his legs out into the aisle and dozed. "When we are in Los Angeles, Anna, we can do this license plate book. Every time you see a license plate from another state, you can find the sticker and put it on the map on the last page," Olivia explained in her best teacher mode.

"We could write our own book, Liv," Anna proposed. "Where we write down and add up all the numbers on every license plate we see."

"That would be crazy hard, Annabelle," Olivia scoffed. "Do you know how many cars there are in LA?"

Meanwhile, Lucas practiced writing his letters. He and Amelia had made a deal that he could watch a movie on her iPad if he wrote out his ABCs three times. Unconsciously, his tongue popped out of the side of his mouth and covered part of his top lip as he concentrated. While she waited to watch a movie with her brother, Ria studied the book Owen had shared with her. Her fascination with fetal development was intriguing, and Amelia caught herself observing Ria's wonder. Occasionally, she'd point out an observation and ask Amelia about it.

Noticing with wonder that the fetus' fingers separated around 12 weeks and remembering that Lissa was about 8 weeks, Ria stared with delight at the picture of what her upcoming niece or nephew would soon look like. Obviously the child of doctors, Ria leaned forward from seat D and nudged Owen. Louder than necessary, she proclaimed, "Daddy? Look at this picture! The fetus is gonna have separated fingers soon!"

Owen, awoken immediately by his daughter's voice and disoriented, quickly remembered he was on an airplane. He turned around, his cheeks flushing with mild embarrassment. As Ria attempted to hold the book up, Owen responded, "Wow! It won't be long, will it, Ree?" He caught Amelia's smirk and raised his eyebrows to convey a request that Amelia engage her.

The older woman across the aisle smiled at him gently, wondering aloud, "She's sure savvy for her age. Are you expecting a little one?"

"No," Owen scoffed pleasantly. "Her older brother and his wife. They're eight weeks along."

"You'll love being a grandparent, although you appear too young for that job," the lady shared with enthusiasm as she patted Owen's arm. Offering a smirk, Owen wondered how to respond.

Olivia requested Owen's attention, "Daddy? We can't find a word in our word find. Can you help?"

Thankful to have a reason to break away from a potential conversation about becoming a grandpa, Owen excused himself and turned toward his daughters to help them discover where the word 'hyacinth' might be hiding. Once they had his attention, the girls paged through the book and asked for his assistance with the other challenges they'd left unsolved.

Soon the two and a half hour flight concluded. The family deplaned and walked through the terminal holding hands with a parent and a buddy. The exception, of course, was Ryder. He walked as far behind the group as he could manage without his parents calling to him to stay close. The parade made its way through baggage claim and rented a van. Within an hour of landing, the Shepherd Hunts were on their way to Nolan and Lissa's new home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~``'

"Nole? They should be here any minute," Lissa pointed out as she called out to the back yard. Now that the yard belonged to him, Nolan found that he enjoyed yard work much more than he had at the Lake House.

"I'll be right in, Shorty," he peered up and smiled.

Lissa stood in the doorway and observed her fiancé. Since she'd arrived, they had been busy shopping and doctoring. Now that the living room and dining area had furniture and the bathrooms were stocked with towels, they were finally able to slow down and settle in. That morning, after grocery shopping and filling the cabinets, Lissa took a nap and Nolan slipped out to the yard. In its own way, life in the Little House began to have a sense of normalcy.

Nolan glanced up, sensing Lissa's presence, and inquired, "What?"

"I love you," she grinned.

With a gentle chuckle, Nolan stood up and walked over to Lissa. He wrapped his slightly muddy hands onto her cheeks and kissed her. Then, after stroking the tip of her nose with his finger, he suggested playfully, "Might want to go wash your face. They'll be here any second." Without pause, he leaned down and kissed Lissa's tiny baby bump and whispered, "Your mommy looks silly, Little Trems."

"Are you going to talk to your dad about that?" Lissa questioned as she stroked Nolan's hair.

He stood up and brushed his hands against each other, asking, "About what?"

"The name thing?" she clarified as Nolan guided her through the back door and toward the bedroom.

While Lissa used a washcloth to spot clean the dirt off her face, Nolan washed his hands and then removed his shirt and shorts. Wrapping himself around her from behind, Nolan gazed at Lissa through the mirror and pondered aloud, "I don't want to upset him."

"I know you don't," Lissa affirmed.

"Maybe I'll talk to Mom first… I don't know. I'll play it by ear," Nolan planned.

"You know I'll support you either way," Lissa promised.

Nolan kissed the top of her head, "I'm going to hop in the shower. You'll watch for them?"

"Of course," she grinned as she headed toward the kitchen to check on the treats she was baking. In many ways, Lissa's dreams were coming true. Since she was tiny, she'd imagined living the life of a stay-at-home wife and mom. Managing a home and raising children while her husband provided for them was so far from her own childhood reality that the dream seemed unrealistic. Now, here she was settling into a home and growing a baby.

Minutes later, while Nolan was still in the shower, Owen honked the horn as he pulled the van up the driveway of the Little House. Lissa called out to Nolan to let them know they'd arrived, and he assured her he'd be right out. She stepped outside and greeted the family with wide open arms.

"Look at that… that's new since I've seen the place," Owen commented on the small raised garden and on the succulents arranged by the back door.

"He's been busy," Lissa smiled as she hugged her Dads. "When he's not studying or in class, he's out here in the yard."

"I want a plant like that at our house, Mama," Anna exclaimed as she admired a bromeliad.

Lucas joined in, "I want a stickery one like that!"

"Don't touch it!" Amelia warned promptly. "Those pokers will hurt if they touch your hand, honey."

Pulling on Lissa's hand, Lucas inquired, "Then how do you plant them if you can't touch them?"

"Nolan can show you later. He has special gloves," Lissa explained. "If you're really good, he might let you try them out."

"Hey, everyone," Nolan greeted as he appeared behind Lissa and placed his arm around her. The littles surrounded him in hugs around his legs and Olivia insisted on her own personal hug from her big brother. Ryder patted Nolan's arm and nodded. "C'mon in," Nolan invited. "Feel free to take a look around the place."

Suddenly the Little House that was perfectly adequate for two seemed incredibly small. Olivia held Nolan's hand and gazed at her big brother lovingly while Nolan and Lissa provided a brief tour for Owen and Amelia. The littles peeked behind each door and were soon piled on the bed. Ryder, headphones on and music turned up, had claimed a spot on the couch.

"I'm glad to see the nursery isn't furnished yet," Amelia gushed as she and Lissa stood in the second bedroom. "Owen and I were hoping to help you guys with that."

"Amma! That's really sweet of you," Lissa exclaimed as she hugged her.

"Let's check the place out and see what else you'll need – I'm sure you and I can sneak away for some shopping tomorrow," Amelia winked.

Meanwhile, Nolan and Owen sat on the front porch and caught up. Nolan asked about the flight and Owen laughed as he told the story about Ria's announcement regarding the fetus. Together, the two chatted about logistics during the visit. The kids all wanted to stay with Nolan and Lissa, although Owen predicted that Lucas would change his mind once he saw Henry.

"Lissa would love to have anyone stay here who wants to be here. The couch folds out into a bed and we have an airbed that we could set up, too," Nolan offered.

"It'd probably be easiest for Livs and Ryder to stay with you two. I don't want to put a bunch of stress on the bride," Owen smiled. "How's she holding up?"

"She's great," Nolan smiled with love. "I think we're both finding all this a little surreal, but she's in her element, Dad. Setting up a house and cooking… she's in Heaven as long as I clean the kitchen."

"Which you do, right?" Owen admonished with a joking voice.

"I know how to keep the peace," Nolan teased. A lull appeared in the conversation and Nolan decided to put the one challenging topic on the table, "So, Dad…"

"Yeah?" Owen responded before gulping down some water.

"I've given something a lot of thought, and I want to talk to you about it before it happens," Nolan explained with a touch of concern. With courage, he stated, "Liss and I, when we get married… I'm thinking we'll go by Tremblay-Hunt."

Owen smiled broadly, "Nolan, I think your mom and dad would be really touched by that."

"And you're ok with it?" Nolan sought to confirm.

"Absolutely," Owen assured his son authentically. "Actually, I'm honored that Hunt is even a part. I've always assumed you'd take back your dad's name when you turned 18. Unlike Ryder and Livs, you remember him. In some ways, I might be worried if you _didn't_ incorporate his name into yours."

"Thanks," Nolan gulped. "I'm honored to bear your name. You really rose to the occasion when our mom died. I can't imagine what that must have been like for you and Mom."

"We've never regretted it a day in our lives, Nolan," Owen declared. "We love you all very much."


	57. Chapter 57 - Needs

**A Pivotal Year**

 **Chapter 57 – Needs**

 **Nolan and Lissa 18, Ryder 14, Olivia 11**

 **Twins 6, Lucas 4 ½, Baby Trems 7 ½ weeks along**

 **Friday, January 11**

The ride to Addison and Jake's house was fraught with drama and tears. Owen tried his best to ignore the whines and cries of injustice while Amelia occasionally attempted to paint a rosy picture. She painted an image of how staying at Addison's instead of at the Little House was a true treat.

"There's a beach there. Right outside the door. The beach and the ocean are just waiting for little kids to come play," Amelia tried.

"I wanna stay with Lissa," Lucas sputtered out between sobs, wiping his sleeve along his runny nose.

Anna folded her arms with determination and pouted, "Nolan's house has a baby."

"Well, not really," Owen mumbled to Amelia. "Not unless we'd left you there, Miss Happy Girl."

"Owen…" Amelia lovingly sighed. "They're tired and it's been a big day."

"And they're overly beside themselves. They're worse than a group of interns assigned to scut," he grumbled. Calling out to the kids, Owen suggested, "It's too bad you all need naps before you play at the beach."

"We do not," Anna protested. "We're angry at you, Daddy, not tired."

"And mouthy," Owen observed. Turning to Amelia, Owen inquired, "Where's Ria in all this?"

"Asleep," Amelia grinned. Looking back, Amelia saw a headful of little red curls bobbing. Lucas' long, red eyelashes appeared to be weighing down his eyelids. Whispering, she added, "And Lucas is fading fast."

"As soon as we wear out the lobbyist, maybe we can park somewhere and have some time alone," Owen teased quietly.

"Hmm… I know just the spot," Amelia giggled.

"Mommyyyyyy!" Anna bawled. "I have to go potty."

"Of course she does," Owen huffed as he moved to the right lane and prepared to exit.

"Annabelle Grace," Amelia warned, "You need to lower your voice. Your brother and sister are asleep."

"I'd be quiet if you let me stay at Nolan and Lissa's," she countered with sass.

"I'm gonna throttle her," Owen threatened under his breath.

"Annabelle – we do not argue like that. You know better," Amelia pointed out. "Change your tune, little one."

"No," Anna argued. Owen happened to glance in his rearview mirror in time to see Anna blow a raspberry at her Mama.

"Annabelle Grace! You are out of line. I saw that," Owen disclosed.

"I don't care," Anna fought.

Owen parked the van at a McDonalds and suggested, "Why don't you take her in. I'll stay with the sleepers."

Ushering her daughter inside, Amelia read her the riot act as they walked from the van to the door. Owen chuckled as he watched Anna's facial expressions in response to her mommy's words.

"Daddy?" Ria yawned. "Are we at the beach?"

"No, sweetheart, Anna had to go potty," Owen explained.

"I think I do too," she admitted. Owen exhaled loudly as he exited the van and walked to the side door. He unbuckled Ria and then attempted to keep Lucas asleep as he placed him in his arms.

As Owen held Ria's hand and balanced Lucas on his hip, Ria wrapped her arm around Owen's firm grip, "Daddy, I'm sorry I was so sad about leaving Nolan's house."

Instantly, crabby Daddy faded away and was replaced with tender Daddy. The child who had raised the least fuss was admiring him and apologizing after he'd been complaining. Looking down, Owen smiled slightly and said, "It's hard when Daddy tells you to do something and you want to do something else." He opened the door for Ria and advised her that Amelia was already in the bathroom. Ria ran in as Owen paced outside the back door with a snoring 4 ½ year old in his arms.

Ria returned fairly quickly, informing Owen that Anna was throwing a fit. Knowing there was little he could do, he asked Ria, "Are you hungry?" While Anna melted down, Owen and the other littles settled at a table and ate. Owen hated that he couldn't burst into the bathroom and intervene.

As Owen put a pinch of fries in his mouth, Amelia stepped out of the bathroom with a flailing Anna in her arms. Owen jumped up and made eye contact with Amelia, offering, "Let me take her. Feel free to finish my food over there."

Amelia gladly turned Anna over to her husband and walked toward Lucas and Ria. Stepping outside, Owen said nothing as he firmly held Anna in his arms. He walked to the van, opened the side door and set Anna on the floor, informing her, "Go ahead, throw your fit out here, Annabelle."

Screaming and howling, Anna continued squawking and sobbing while Owen sat in the drivers' seat and checked his email. Amelia sent him a text that read, _Food? I can bring you something._

 _Thanks, Mia. Anna's still full throttle. Why don't you take the kids to the play area? I'll let you know when the storm has passed,_ he responded.

 _Need to tag team?_ She wondered.

 _Nah. I'm ignoring her and letting her wear herself out. Thanks for asking,_ Owen assured her.

After scrolling through his email and checking any other apps in need of checking, Owen opened the browser to his phone and began researching ADHD. He and Amelia had never really pursued the suggestion that they have her screened. As he read, he seriously considered the possibility. While she had no accompanying learning disabilities, she caused trouble in school if she wasn't kept engaged each moment. She loved to talk non-stop and had become the master of sustaining long tantrums that sometimes turned violent. As he became engrossed in reading, Owen failed to notice that Anna had become silent.

Amelia sent a text that read, _Still hanging in there?_

 _I need sex,_ Owen responded with a winky emoticon.

She responded, _Don't we all, my friend. Don't we all._

 _Just noticed she's out. Finally ran out of steam,_ Owen typed. He walked over to her and carefully buckled her into her carseat. Beholding her adorable chubby cheeks and still-baby mouth, Owen kissed her forehead and brushed her sweaty hair away from her face. He braided her long hair loosely as he watched her little lips occasionally move as she dreamed. Without a doubt, he loved his little girl. When she slept, it was much easier to remember that.

As he walked to the driver's door, he spotted Amelia and the kids approaching. Smiling, he met them halfway and scooped Lucas into his arms. As his thumb wiped ketchup off Lucas's face, he inquired, "Ready to play at the beach, buddy?"

"Sure," Lucas shrugged. "Can we take pictures and send them to Lissa?"

"Absolutely," Owen promised. He side-hugged Amelia and squeezed her tightly toward him, kissing her. "I'm sorry about all that."

"You're not the one who threw the fit," Amelia quipped.

"I'm still sorry. It's exhausting," he observed.

"Thanks for tagging me out, Handsome," Amelia praised.

The rest of the ride to Addison and Jake's was uneventful. Anna slept while Lucas and Ria played with their minion toys and created a story together.

When they pulled up, Addison and Henry were waiting in the front yard. Jake had been called to the hospital for an emergency, leaving his wife and son to serve as the greeting brigade. Addison immediately beamed and spread her arms wide as she approached the van. Henry, 9, followed behind curiously.

"Grandma Amy!" Addison cheered as the door opened and the two embraced.

"Addison, Addison, Addison," Amelia responded with a shaking head. "And Henry?! You are so grown up. Look at you."

"I'm 9 now," Henry nodded with a slight grin.

"Nine?! Wow. I remember when you were a tiny baby, Mister," Amelia countered.

Observing the half-empty van, Addison stated, "You've lost half your family along the way."

"They're staying at Nolan's. Touchy subject for the under 7 crowd," Owen grinned as he offered a brief hug and then greeted Henry. He introduced Ria, Lucas, and Henry to one another. Henry immediately invited them to come inside.

"No beach without a grown up," Addison reminded him.

"I know, Mom," he agreed readily.

"Mom… I'm not Mommy anymore," Addison grieved.

"That transition is tough. Then they tell you they're having a baby," Amelia quipped. In response, Addie smiled and put her arm around her dear sister. Amelia continued, "They had a good appointment the other day?"

"Amy, I can't say a word," Addison reminded her as they walked toward the deck.

"But it's me, Addie," Amelia protested lightly as if conversations between sisters were exempt from HIPPA.

Owen joined the ladies on the back porch after placing Anna on the sofa. "Help yourself to a beer, Owen," Addison offered.

"You two want anything?" Owen inquired. Per their requests, he brought each of them a soda and then sat down in a lounge chair with a deep breath.

"Travelling with children, huh?" Addie chuckled.

Amelia explained, "We've been having a hell of a time with Anna. She has these sustained affective rages that are absolutely exhausting."

"That's tough," Addison affirmed. "Have you had it checked out?"

"Not yet," Amelia confessed. Owen interjected some information from the research he'd done during Anna's meltdown and pressed that having her evaluated would be worthwhile. Amelia responded with subtle denial, "Maybe she'll calm down after the wedding. Life has been pretty chaotic."

Owen, unconvinced, grimaced. He finished his beer and announced, "I think I'm going to walk on the beach a little."

"Join him, Amy. I've got the kids," Addison prompted.

"Addie, I'm not going to pull up to your home and dump my kids on you within 15 minutes of arrival," Amelia insisted.

"You were planning to wait 30 minutes?" Addison joked. "Go. Take a break."

Owen and Amelia strolled along the edge of the water holding hands and not saying much. Both soaked in the ocean mist and the salt air, breathing slowly and deeply. When they came upon a giant piece of driftwood, Amelia led Owen toward it. He sat down with his back against it and she sat between his legs with her back against his chest. His cheek brushed against her temple as he embraced her.

"Have we screwed up?" Amelia mused.

"What do you mean?" Owen inquired.

"With the kids. Nolan and Lissa are pregnant and getting married at 18. Ria is far too accommodating toward others and Anna is the Tasmanian Devil," she described.

"That's only 3 out of 6. Batting 500 is pretty impressive in baseball," he kidded gently.

Amelia turned her head so she was facing her husband. "Really, O. Are we doing something wrong? Could we parent differently and avoid some of this?"

He kissed her temple and leaned his head against hers, "I think you're being hard on yourself. It's not that simple." After a pause, he continued, "Nolan and Lissa made the choices they made. Hell, they waited until they were 18 to have sex. How many times do you come across that? And to rise to the occasion the way Nolan seems to be doing – pretty damn impressive. Ryder, I might add, is succeeding greatly at being a typical 14 year old pain in the ass. Ria? You know, some play therapy might not be a bad idea for her. You're right, she over-sacrifices for everyone else's benefit. She reminds me of Lissa in that way. Lissa's grown out of that a bit over time. We could probably do a little more to bolster Ria, though. Anna? Hell, Mia, sometimes I don't know. That child has the ability to bring out an enraged part of me I never knew existed."

"That's what I mean," Amelia clarified. "What does she need from us that we're not giving her?"

"Xanax," Owen stated flatly.

Amelia twisted around and pushed Owen's shoulder as she laughed, "You are rotten."

"Made you laugh," he smiled. "I love hearing you laugh." He kissed her repeatedly as the two lost themselves in one another. He stroked her back and cupped his hand around the back of her head as they held each other.

Mumbling between kisses, Owen pondered aloud with a suggestive tone, "Maybe we're the ones who need a nap."

"Twist my arm," she suggested playfully.

"Or we could stay right here," he offered.

"No sex on the beach – been there, done that," she advised with a grin.

Scoffing with feigned shock, Owen sputtered, "Not with me."

"Shut up and kiss me, Handsome," she countered.


	58. Chapter 58 - Distancing (Revised)

**Chapter 58**

 **A Pivotal Year - Distancing**

 **Nolan and Lissa 18, Ryder 14, Olivia 11**

 **Twins 6, Lucas 4 ½, Baby Trems 7 ½ weeks along**

 **Friday, February 11 - Saturday, February 12**

Friday night, as they slowly made love, Amelia lost herself in his touch. Each motion of his strong hands sent shudders up her spine. Every kiss filled her heart with love and passion. The sensation of his breath on her shoulders brought peace.

"Mia… you feel so incredible," his gravelly, end-of-the-day voice celebrated. "Ohhhhhh," he moaned as he ran his hand along her side slowly.

Amelia yearned to record and intentionally feel each thrust and sensation. Stepping away from the drama of the day and reconnecting with one another helped both Owen and Amelia balance out a challenging twelve hours. In those moments alone, her sole focus was the sensation of Owen's skin becoming one with hers. Afterward, exhausted and fulfilled, the two collapsed in each other's arms and quickly fell asleep.

When Owen awoke on Saturday morning, he gazed at his wife and swept her hair back softly. He moved between admiring her and dozing back to sleep for at least half an hour as the calming sounds of the tide filled his ears.

"Hey," she offered sleepily when she opened her eyes to discover his gaze upon her.

Without a word, he leaned over and began passionately kissing his wife. She smiled in response, celebrating the fact that Owen craved sex more when he was processing weighty topics. In this case, the wedding and Anna's health burdened him. Amelia was more than willing to ease his worries.

The levity of his concerns was robust, and his movements were full of passion as he physically released the pent up thoughts in his head.

"You're intense this morning," Amelia purred. Although she was fiercely independent and self-reliant in her professional life, Amelia reveled in Owen's unrestrained approach in the bedroom. She surrendered with complete trust as he held her hands against the mattress. His strength was compelling, and she loved the rare instances when their lovemaking took a turn into more rugged adventures.

"Thank you for this," he panted.

Amelia chuckled, "I adore it when you take it up a notch. You feel amazing."

His kisses bordered on harsh as he smashed his face into hers, inhibiting her ability to move out from under him. When he'd tired of kissing, he nibbled her ear and worked his way down to her breasts. His touch was firm but seductive. She inhaled a deep slow breath and fell into pure bliss.

She knew what would happen next. Each time was the same. The sex was amazing, but Owen's post-sex angst was deflating. He would climax and then feel remorse about being rough, even though Amelia reassured him each time that she enjoyed the experience. Unconvinced, guilt nagged at him and he would slink off like a puppy with his tail between his legs. No words. No snuggling. Simply disappearing into the shower. His abrupt departure left her craving him and yearning for more in every instance. The ache was palpable.

While Owen showered, Amelia remained in bed and sniffled as quietly as she could manage. Her melancholy mood has nothing to do with her attest interaction with Owen. The few minutes he cleaned up were the only opportunity she planned to allow herself to lean into her sadness about the pregnancy and upcoming wedding. Otherwise, she would rally everything inside her to plaster a smile on her face and celebrate throughout the weekend. With such a mixture of emotions running through her, she needed to set time aside to tend the most intense feelings.

She was experiencing a mixture of both regret and joy. Seeing Nolan and Lissa commit themselves to one another officially was a long-held dream. Having that dream come true so much sooner than anticipated was devastating. How would the marriage and baby affect their plans and lives? Amelia's concern, truth be told, focused more on Nolan in this case. In so many ways, she knew Lissa would be fine. As long as Lissa could play the part of a traditional wife and mom, Lissa's greatest hopes were realized. She had never really wanted more than to be Nolan's helpmate. Amelia did not understand it, but she made space in her heart for Lissa's personal definition of fulfillment.

As Amelia softly wept and pondered, Owen stepped out of the shower with a towel around his waist. He'd planned to try his luck at sex once again, but heard Amelia's sniffles and exhaled with disappointment. "Mia? What's wrong?" he asked flatly, trying his best not to let her know he was concerned that her show of emotion had something to do with him.

Turning toward him as she swept her finger under her eyes, Amelia confessed, "I was giving myself a chance to let out the pent up sadness about the wedding and baby before spending the day upbeat and enthusiastic about the same topics."

Furrowing his brow in confusion, Owen slowly let out, "Ohhhhh." He turned toward the mirror and began grooming. He and the boys were planning to spend the day together. Their time would include a mixture of fun and work. After helping Nolan with a few stray tasks around the house, they would set out to explore LA. Lucas was beside himself with anticipation – the group was going to visit the La Brea Tar Pits where they'd see fossils, active excavations, and bubbling tar.

"Are we still having dinner here tonight with your friends?" Owen questioned hoping the plan had changed.

Balancing her body on her lower arm as she rose up slightly, Amelia responded, "Of course. Why wouldn't we?"

"I was just checking," Owen stated in a nonchalant manner.

"I appreciate you playing along. I know you hardly know any of them and that it's probably far from a dream night for you," Amelia acknowledged.

"If I'm going to take time away from the hospital and be in Los Angeles, I'd prefer to be with Nolan. That's all I'm saying," he admitted.

"You're welcome to do that. It's ok by me," Amelia offered with sincerity.

Owen rolled his eyes as he buttoned up a pair of jeans, "And look like 'the anti-social-ass-Amelia-married'? I don't think so."

Amelia frowned, "Owen, my friends aren't judgmental jerks. Spend time with the kids. Really. Except for Sheldon, all the people coming tonight are parents. They'll completely understand."

He threw on a polo and grabbed a t-shirt before walking over to her and pecking her cheek. "I'll see you here around what? 6?"

"Owen…" Amelia uttered. "Go to Nolan and Lissa's. Play with the kids."

"I'll think about it," he promised with a smirk.

"Are you sure you're ok?" she questioned.

Sighing, Owen shared, "Lots on my mind, Mia. It's not about you. We're all good." He sat down on the bed and shook his head, "I'm sorry. The wedding… the baby…. I'm trying to work my way through it. I want to be happy for the kids, but I'm concerned. All of this feels like so much, and I need space to sort it all out."

"I'm going through the same struggles. Can't we sort it out together?" Amelia pleaded.

Standing up, he kissed her cheek and concluded, "I'm here for you if you want to talk, Mia, but you know me. Stepping away by myself works better for me than talking."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Later that morning, Amelia observed as Lissa described the wedding to Addison. Seeing Lissa's eyes widen and light up as she disclosed details was poignant. While Henry, Olivia, and the twins played in the sand near the deck, the three women reveled in romanticism.

"We want it to be really simple. Nothing fancy or wedding-y," Lissa described. "The guys will be in white button downs and khakis, and the girls will wear white cotton sundresses covered in eyelet lace. Amma's dress is also a white sundress, but different fabric."

"What about your dress?" Addison wondered.

"Knee length, chiffon, empire waist sundress. The bands on the shoulders are gathered chiffon and they're widest at the top of the shoulders and narrow as they near the dress. There's just a little bit of beading along the waist and at the hem," Lissa described with a slight blush. "Actually, Nolan picked it out. I couldn't decide between three dresses, so he made the call."

"Awww… the groom has seen the dress. Isn't that some sort of no-no?" Addie inquired.

"Who knows?" Lissa giggled. "He hasn't seen me _in_ it yet, so maybe we're in the clear on that score."

"You didn't want your dress to be a surprise to him, Liss?" Amelia wondered aloud.

"Actually, I'd rather have him choose something he loves. He's going to be looking at it all day – I'll just be wearing it," she smiled dreamily. While Lissa's deference to Nolan was touching, Amelia also found it a touch sickening, thinking silently, _Why in the world would the groom choose the bride's wedding dress? It seems so stereotypically 1950s. Next, he'll give her an apron and a vacuum cleaner as wedding gifts._

"And the ceremony? Vows and rings and all that?" Addison inquired. Amelia came out of her internal ramblings instantly. She sat up and listened more carefully since she hadn't heard any ceremony details.

"I asked Dads if he'll walk me down the aisle and he agreed. He's really the only Dad I've ever had or known," Lissa smiled. "It'll only be a short walk since it's a tiny wedding and we won't have music. Nolan and I wrote the vows together. We both love them."

"I want to hear them," Addison coached with anticipation.

Lissa paused, "They might not be everyone's taste."

Amelia cocked her head and asked, "How so, Liss?"

"I'm promising to follow him and to heed his guidance," she shrugged.

"Why?" Amelia blurted aloud before editing herself, almost spewing coffee onto the deck.

"Agreed," Addison weighed in. "To each his own, but is that really what you want to promise to do for the rest of your life?"

With utter sincerity, Lissa responded, "I believe in those promises. I want to live those out as Nolan's wife."

"What is _he_ promising?" Amelia questioned with narrowed brows and a curled upper lip. Her poker face was non-existent as folded arms and a rather serious tone accompanied her facial expression.

"Amma…" Lissa began then paused. With an edge in her voice, she declared, "You'll have to come to the wedding to find out."

Addie and Amelia caught glances, each able to read the other's mind. Amelia sought to reassure her soon-to-be daughter-in-law, "Liss… I'm sorry. The words of the vows caught me off guard. I'm not judging, sweetie. I guess I approach marriage differently. Actually, though, I have to say that I find your approach far more courageous and trusting than anything I'd be able to vow."

"Absolutely," Addie attempted to sound supportive.

Lissa glanced at Amelia incredulously, dismissing Amelia's back pedaling, "Whatevs." She stood up and walked over to the kids.

"I think we just crossed a line," Amelia mumbled to Addison.

"Who's going to be fired first – the monster-in-law or the obstetrician?" Addison pondered quietly.

Amelia responded, "I'm more worried about incurring the wrath of Nolan."

After interacting with the kids for a half hour, Lissa stood up and headed toward the house.

"Liss?" Amelia voiced with gentle concern.

"I'll be right back," Lissa smirked. Amelia's shoulders lowered as disappointment covered her face.

"Give her the benefit of the doubt, Amy. She's not blowing you off, she probably has to pee," Addison pointed out.

When Lissa came back a few minutes later, her purse was around her shoulder. "Olivia and I are going to run an errand."

"I thought you and I were going to go shopping," Amelia wondered aloud.

With a forced grimace, Lissa explained, "Yeah… I'm not sure there's going to be enough time." She turned to Olivia and called out, "Let's go, Red!"

Olivia hopped up and bounced toward the women. She wrapped her arms around Amelia and beamed, "I'm going with Lissa, Mama. Is that ok?"

"Of course it is, honey. Have fun," Amelia responded as she kissed Livie's cheek. "Do you two need some money?"

"No, thank you," Lissa quickly responded without attitude yet with emotional distance.

After Lissa stepped away, Addie sighed. "Oh, Amelia, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have reacted. I started all this. I apologize," Addison stated sadly.

"Addie," Amelia insisted, "stop. Everything will be fine. Lissa and I – we're tight. She needs a little time to process, that's all."


	59. Chapter 59 - Lucky

**Chapter 59**

 **A Pivotal Year – Lucky**

 **Nolan and Lissa 18, Ryder 14, Olivia 11**

 **Twins 6, Lucas 4 ½, Baby Trems 7 ½ weeks along**

 **Saturday, February 12**

After picking up some groceries, Lissa and Olivia drove over to the house. Owen and the boys were working in the yard. When she and Olivia jumped out of the car, Lissa suggested, "How about something to drink. You're all working so hard!"

Sweaty and smiling, Nolan approached Lissa and kissed her. "That'd be great, Blondie."

"Could you help me, Nolan?" Lissa requested evenly.

He followed her into the kitchen and checked, "I thought you were shopping with Mom today."

"I shouldn't have said anything," Lissa mused as she pulled cups out of the cabinet and slammed them down onto the counter.

Nolan opened the fridge and grabbed the lemonade. He walked over and began pouring it into the cups, "Woah… what happened?" he asked gently.

Lissa's lip quivered as she breathed rapid, shallow breaths. "Dr. Montgomery was asking about the wedding. I shared a little bit about the vows."

"Hey," Nolan softly grasped her shoulders and bore his eyes into hers. "Our vows are just that – ours. Who cares what anyone else thinks?" Lissa leaned her head against Nolan's chest as he added, "Larissa… you need to promise whatever your heart is leading you to say. These are your vows, nobody else's. Say what you need and want. Not what you think I want, not what you think you _should_ say, and not what anyone else thinks you should say."

"Everything ok?" Owen inquired as he stepped inside and spotted the couple.

"We're great," Nolan asserted as he handed Owen a cup of lemonade. "Do you think we've worn those two out enough? Maybe it's time to shift gears and go check out the Tar Pits."

"Good idea," Owen nodded. "Liss – I thought you and Mia were going shopping today."

"Change of plans," Nolan answered on her behalf with a grin. "You mind going to get the guys, Shorty?" After a quick grin, Lissa stepped outside. Owen leaned against the counter and drank the entire cup of lemonade.

As Nolan refilled Owen's cup, Nolan demanded, "I need you to call Mom off."

"What?" Owen questioned, completely befuddled.

"Liss was talking about the ceremony with Mom and Addison. I don't know what was said, but now Lissa's not shopping with Mom and is trying not to cry," Nolan disclosed.

"Your mom and Lissa need to work out their own crap, Nolan. I'm not getting sucked in," Owen professed.

"C'mon, Dad, help a guy out," Nolan begged. Owen glanced out of the corner of his eye and finished his second cup.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Saturday night, the kids filled Nolan and Lissa's living room for a movie night. Nolan and his brothers had just returned from the Tar Pits and Lissa had just awoken from a nap when Amelia dropped off the twins and Henry.

When he answered the door, Nolan's words were respectful but brief. He greeted his mom and welcomed her inside.

"Where's Liss? I need to connect with her for a minute," Amelia explained.

"She's napping," Nolan responded. "What's up? Is everything ok?"

"I think she misunderstood Addie and me when she told us about the vows," Amelia shared reluctantly.

"What did you say, Mom?" Nolan pushed with a sigh.

"I appreciate your concern, Nole, but Lissa and I need to work it out ourselves," Amelia pointed out.

"Hey," Lissa yawned as she emerged from the hallway.

"Hi, Sleeping Beauty," Nolan smiled.

Lucas ran and embraced Lissa's legs, exclaiming her name. The twins joined him in a group hug as all of the littles giggled.

"Hi, Amma," Lissa greeted with a tentative grin.

"Can we talk, Liss?" Amelia inquired.

Shrugging, Lissa responded, "Sure. What's up?"

Motioning her head toward the Dining Room, Amelia suggested, "Maybe in the other room?"

Lissa followed Amelia, leaving Nolan in the Living Room with the kids. Amelia began, "I'm sorry about earlier. I should not have reacted the way I did. I'm deeply sorry if I hurt your feelings."

"We're ok, Amma," Lissa assured her. "I wasn't surprised – Nolan and I both know we're more traditional than you and Dads. Well, more traditional than most of the world, too, I guess."

"Still," Amelia retorted, "I didn't respect you and your decisions. I apologize."

Lissa stood up and leaned over to hug Amelia, "Amma… stop. You and I are good. _I'm_ sorry if I came across as reactive or ticked."

"Actually, you were composed and polite. That's my Larissa," Amelia smiled as she grasped Lissa's hand and squeezed it. "I'm glad we're on solid ground."

"Me too," Lissa smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Look who finally made it," Charlotte called out as she approached Amelia. "Your husband and I were starting to wonder if you'd escaped to Disneyland."

"Amelia!" Cooper celebrated with a wide smile.

"How are the kids, Coop?" Amelia asked.

"Good… good, they're," Cooper began.

"Absolutely, completely exhausting," Charlotte interrupted with a sly laugh before adding with dripping sarcasm, "And having a teenaged son is the most wonderful life experience I've ever had."

"You lie," Amelia laughed, describing, "I just flew with five kids ranging from 4 ½ to 14. Believe me, I get it."

In the background, Jake and Owen sat at a table drinking beer and mused about what they observed. "I guess my colleagues are pretty tight at the hospital, but these guys always strike me as unusually enmeshed," Owen shared.

Jake chuckled, "You're on to something. I came into the practice pretty late in the game. I felt like I'd enrolled in the 400 level class without taking the prereqs. Then I realized that sometimes it's better to not know the whole story."

"True," Owen toasted Jake with his beer bottle as the two chuckled.

"How is the father of the groom holding up?" Violet asked as she joined Jake and Owen.

"I'm well," Owen smirked, not really wanting to engage in the topic with a therapist. "And you? How's life, Violet?"

"Great," Violet smiled. "How long are you visiting?"

"We leave Tuesday afternoon," Owen described briefly with a pleasant tone of voice.

"Such a quick turn around," Violent mused. She paused, hoping the silence would give Owen an opportunity to open up.

Owen nodded and explained with kindness, "It's tough to get away from the hospital for more than a few days."

Addison saved both Owen and Violet from their stilted conversation when she gathered everyone to the table for dinner. The guys ended up at one end of the table with Jake at the head of the table, Cooper and Sam to his right and Sheldon to his left. Charlotte sat down next to Sheldon while Violet and Amelia helped Addison.

In the kitchen, Violet whispered to Amelia, "I don't think your husband likes me."

"Violet, what the hell? Owen likes everyone. Besides, who wouldn't adore you?" Amelia replied.

"I tried chatting with him and kept getting one word answers. He was like a resistant patient," she explained.

Addison laughed out loud. "Aren't all men a little like that?"

The three cackled together, then Amelia pondered aloud, "I think he's a little stressed about the wedding and the baby."

Cooper came in and joyfully interrupted, "Baby? You're pregnant, Amelia?!"

"No," Amelia lowered her brows and shook her head. "That would border on insanity, Coop. Eight kids including Lissa? Seven is plenty."

"And lucky," Addison incorporated as she headed toward the door.

"Not sure about that," Amelia joked as she leaned over to Violet and Cooper.

The trio walked onto the porch and set down the serving plates. Meanwhile, Owen was offering his goodbyes. From the start of the event, he'd explained that he'd be heading over to Nolan and Lissa's when dinner began. He was hopeful that being present for the gathering at the beginning of the party and that saying hello to everyone would suffice.

Owen wrapped his arm around Amelia and leaned toward her ear, stating softly, "I'm heading over to be with the kids. Are you positive you're good with that?"

"Of course," Amelia promised with a wide smile as she accompanied Owen to the front door. "I love you, Handsome. Have a great time tonight."

"You, too," Owen offered as he kissed her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Owen drove to the Little House, relieved to be able to relax with his family the rest of the evening. Amelia's friends were all lovely people, but he didn't know any of the stories when they reminisced and didn't have the connection with them that Amelia had. They welcomed Owen with open arms, but he felt like a third wheel nonetheless.

"Surprise!" Owen smiled widely as he stood at the front door of the Little House with an arm full of chips, popcorn, and other treats.

"Dads!" Lissa grinned as she embraced him and took one of the bags from his arms.

Nolan stepped around the sofa and followed the duo into the kitchen. He placed his hand on Lissa's back and advised softly with loving insistence, "Shorty, let me answer the door when it's dark. It's not always going to be Dad."

Scrunching her mouth, Lissa let out a slight giggle, "Nole, I checked before I opened the door."

"Still," Nolan emphasized as he kissed her cheek before stepping toward the fridge to grab a Snapple. Owen witnessed the interaction. He was intrigued by Nolan's overly protective nature and Lissa's willingness to let the topic go after one brief interchange.

Ryder stepped in and headed to the counter, grabbing a bag of chips. "What's up, Dad. I thought you were stuck in some boring doctor dinner." Ry opened the bag and began eating in handfuls as he awaited Owen's response.

"Yeah, I decided I'd rather hang out with you guys," Owen smirked as he made his way onto the living room floor and burrowed into the pile of littles and blankets on the floor. Giggles emerged and escalated at the dreaded Tickle Monster made an appearance in Los Angeles. The Los Angeles Tickle Monster, it ended up, also enjoyed picking up little kids and raising them so high that they could touch the ceiling.

Lissa had already returned to the sofa by the time Nolan returned from the kitchen and sat back down. The couple joined in the laughter as each kiddo from Henry to Lucas were swiped up by the soon-to-be grandpa. Nolan put his arm around Lissa and drew her close. Kissing her on the cheek, he whispered, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Lissa responded as she tucked her head cozily into his chest.

"Why don't you stretch out, Babe?" Nolan suggested as he put a pillow on his lap and tended his beloved. Without a word, she lay down and smiled peacefully as Nolan stroked her hair and covered her with a blanket that had been knitted by Kayla years ago.

Owen's phone was in his back pocket and he felt it vibrate as he played with the kids. He stopped to check his text messages. Amelia had typed, _How's the fun house?_

 _Chips and popcorn are smashed into the floor, blankets scattered everywhere, repeat showing of the only movie they could agree on,_ Owen chuckled as he typed.

 _Liss? Does she seem upset?_ Amelia wondered.

 _Not at all. Dreamily worshipping Nolan. Normal behavior. ;-)_ ,he replied.

 _Glad to hear it,_ Amelia sent.

A half hour later, Owen and Lissa ended up in the tiny hallway at the same time as he exited the hall bath and she stepped out of her bedroom after changing into PJs. They laughed as they almost ran into one another.

"If my bump were bigger, that could've been quite the collision," Lissa smiled.

Owen held a glance and requested quietly, "Do you have a minute?"

"Sure," Lissa agreed. "Let's go over to the table." As the two walked through the living room, they navigated around half-asleep littles and sprawled out kids paying varying degrees of attention to the movie. Nolan and Ryder were deep in conversation, not even noticing Owen and Lissa walking by.

Lissa poured some water and asked Owen if she could get him anything. Once the two were sitting at the table, Owen began, "I want to check in on you. Concerned Dad here."

"You're sweet," Lissa reflected. "I'm good. This pregnancy stuff knocks the energy out of me – I'm tired all the time."

"That's typical for the first trimester. In a month, you'll have a huge energy burst and start nesting," he reported.

"Nesting – I like that phrase. I'm a Mama Bird, I guess," she giggled.

"And everything is ready for the wedding? Can I help with anything?" Owen offered.

"We're all set. It'll be so low key, thank goodness," Lissa replied. "I never dreamed of having a giant wedding or something fancy. Being married on the beach surrounded by family will be wonderful."

"What about your mom?" Owen inquired, meaning Clarisse.

Misunderstanding, Lissa responded, "We're good. I weirded out earlier when we were talking about the vows. Sometimes being pregnant messes with my brain. I get all emotional and stuff out of nowhere. Is that normal?"

Chuckling, Owen confirmed, "Yes, it's normal." After clearing his throat, he continued, "When I asked, I wasn't referring to Mia."

"Oh," Lissa gazed at the floor. Factually and without inflection, Lissa added, "You meant Clarisse. She lives in Virginia or West Virginia now – I can't remember which. About two months ago, she left me a voicemail telling me she married someone and was moving to her new husband's house. They met on some online dating site."

"Hmm," Owen sounded, avoiding commentary.

"Yeah, she said she'd be in touch with her new phone number and address, but I haven't heard from her," Lissa reported. "I'm not sure if I'd invite her anyway. Our relationship became kind of empty and weird the longer we were apart."

"That's too bad," Owen nodded as he sipped his water.

"I guess," Lissa shrugged. "But look how awesome everything turned out – I'll always be grateful that you and Amma took me in. I can't imagine how life would have played out if I'd ended up in foster care."

"Who knows?" Owen mused. "I'm thankful you moved in. You were already part of the family – it seemed natural giving you a room and having you around. I know there were times you probably detested our rules…"

Interrupting, Lissa opined with a wink, "Yeah…because I was _never_ annoying or frustrating to live with, right?"

"Family," Owen smirked with a silent chuckle. "Always an adventure."

"Hey…" Nolan voiced peacefully as he walked toward the duo. "Looks like a deep conversation in here."

"Kind of," Lissa reported. "We're rambling on about Clarisse and pregnancy and family."

"Cool," Nolan nodded as he sat down next to Lissa and scooted his chair up toward Lissa. He grasped her hand. "Family," he mused. "Quite a word. Look at each of us. You grew up with just a mom and no relatives until you moved in with us. I was raised in one country and ended up in another, having both my parents die and being adopted by new parents. What about you, Dad? What's your weird family twist?"

"Aahhhh," Owen avoided. "No need to go there. _This_ family, the one right here, and Mia and Grandma Ev - best family in the world. I'm a lucky man."

"Even with our weird lives and all the ups and downs, I think we can all say that. We're lucky. Even though there's been tragedy and challenges, none of that compares to how lucky we are to have each other," Nolan declared.


	60. Chapter 60 - The Big Day

**Chapter 60**

 **A Pivotal Year – The Big Day**

 **Nolan and Lissa 18, Ryder 14, Olivia 11**

 **Twins 6, Lucas 4 ½, Baby Trems 8 weeks along**

 **Monday, February 14**

"Psssst, hey, Red," Owen whispered as he leaned down by Olivia.

Keeping her eyes closed, Olivia yawned and wrapped her arms around her eyes and head.

Gently and playfully, Owen pulled on a small handful of Livie's curls. "Believe me, you'll be glad you woke up. Everyone else is still asleep and I have a birthday surprise for you."

Livie sat up quickly as her arms fell and her eyes widened with anticipation. "That's right," she exclaimed quietly, "It's my birthday!" She raised her shoulders endearingly and peeked out the corner of her eye, "What's my surprise, Daddy?"

"Are you too old to ride downstairs on my back?" Owen questioned.

"Noooo," she responded with rolling eyes and a silly grin. Quickly, she scampered out from under the blankets and wrapped her arms around Owen's neck. He jumped up, grasped her legs and hurried down the stairway.

When they were on the main floor of Amelia's former home, Olivia giggled and whispered into Owen's ear, "I don't see any ponies, Daddy."

Chuckling, Owen walked over and set her on a bar stool. "Sorry, no ponies. How about cake for breakfast instead?"

"Seriously?!" Olivia celebrated as her mouth opened wide and her hands covered her lips.

"Seriously," Owen grinned. He turned around and picked up a red box with two tiny cakes in it. Setting the box on the counter in front of Olivia, Owen encouraged her to open it.

Olivia nibbled on her forefinger with an eager charm. After glancing up at her daddy, she opened the box and admired the treats. One had an intricate dancer design on the top and twirling red curls down each side. The other stated "Happy Birthday Olivia" in tiny cursive frosting. They were the most ornate cakes Olivia had ever seen, even more intricate than a wedding cake.

"I figured the wedding might take the focus off your birthday later," Owen explained. "You're very sweet and mature to share your birthday with Nolan and Lissa's wedding."

"Well…they chose _my_ birthday and nobody else's. It's special to share my birthday that way," she grinned with certainty.

Owen reached into a nearby drawer and grabbed two forks. He handed one to Olivia and inquired, "Which one should we eat now?"

With a playful smile, she suggested, "How about if you take one and I take one?"

"How about if you pick one and I'll take a bite or two?" Owen retorted.

"And save one for later?" Olivia confirmed. Owen nodded and she poked her fork into the one with writing. "I don't want to eat the other one – it's so pretty."

"Just like my oldest red-headed daughter," Owen grinned. He wrapped his hand behind her head, kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you, Red. Now stop growing up so fast."

"No dice, Mister," Olivia winked as she kissed Owen's cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~`'

After nibbling on cake with Livie, Owen roused the rest of the kids. Ryder, his right hand man for the next surprise, corralled everyone and handled last minute details. Meanwhile, Owen went upstairs.

"Good morning, my phenomenal, incredible wife," Owen whispered in Amelia's ear on Valentine's morning.

She grinned as she opened her eyes and gazed at him. "Will you wake me up like that every morning this year?"

"That could probably be arranged," Owen chuckled before leaning in to kiss her. He leaned on his side and stroked her hair, "Thanks for last night. It was great to be with the kids."

"Are you kidding me?" Amelia asked incredulously. "Owen! I appreciated you saying hello to everyone and staying for drinks."

"I'm not the insensitive-ass-that-Amelia-married?" Owen sought to confirm.

Amelia laughed heartily. "Umm… I hope I don't hurt your feelings when I say this, Owen," she began before pausing. "It was actually wonderful to have time alone with my friends."

Sputtering, Owen smiled, "I get it. No hurt feelings."

"We tell the same stories every time we see each other, and we use insider language. If I were you, I'm not sure I would have even stayed long enough to say hello," she teased. Then, placing her hand on his cheek and ear, she leaned in and kissed her husband, whispering, "Will you be my Valentine?"

"I will indeed," Owen grinned. As he gazed into her eyes, he mentioned, "There's a little surprise for you on the deck."

"Isn't that later today? A surprise wedding? A surprise grandchild?" she inquired.

He leaned his head to the side and raised his shoulders as his eyes twinkled with loving mischief. Whispering, he explained, "Take your time. Come down when you're ready."

As she considered what Owen might be up to, Amelia wished their window looked out over the deck instead of to the east. Even though she was alone, the smirk on her face wouldn't go away. She wondered what in the world he had planned. Throwing on comfy lounge pants and a beachy sweater, Amelia soon descended the staircase. She could overhear Lucas' loud 'whisper' informing the others, "Here she comes, guys. She's coming, she's coming."

On the deck, Owen had lined them up by height, which corresponded to their ages. Even the twins, who grew in spurts and often switched between who was tallest and who was shortest, were in age order. Ryder played along with a smile as he and his siblings each held a poster board with a word on it. Together, the words read: _Our Daddy Loves Our Mommy_. Owen stood at the end, holding a sign with a giant red heart.

When Amelia stepped onto the deck, she giggled with glee. Lucas had been in such a hurry to return to his spot that he ran in between the twins. Their message read, _Our Daddy Loves Mommy Our._ With a sly grin, Amelia approached the line of love and placed her hands on Lucas' shoulders. She kissed his forehead and guided him further to his left. Owen closed his eyes and smiled simultaneously when he realized what had happened.

Once Lucas was in place, Amelia slipped over and wrapped her arms around Owen. "You… are adorable, Owen Hunt."

"I'm not finished," he winked.

"Oh?" she inquired playfully.

He grabbed his chin and mouth and motioned to the kids, who turned their signs over. Together, the other sides came together to read, _Will You Be My Valentine?_ In this instance, Ria's sign was upside-down. Even so, the message was clear.

"Yes. Yes, I will," Amelia laughed. Owen held out his hand and grasped hers. He led her to the table between the kids and the ocean. A spread of seafood, eggs, chocolate covered strawberries, and other treats awaited her. Ryder led the kids inside, earning the money Owen had slipped him for making sure Owen and Amelia were left alone to eat.

Owen pulled out Amelia's seat, then pushed in her chair.

"I feel spoiled," Amelia beamed.

"I feel fortunate - lucky to be your husband. Even when I'm selfish, obstinate, or clueless, you still keep me around. Even when I don't deserve it. I love you, Amelia," he shared from his heart.

"It's called grace, O," Amelia smiled as she stroked his hair. "It's not about deserving it, it's about loving each other."

"We seem to have that part down pat," Owen affirmed as he patted her hand. He filled his fork with lobster and brought it to her mouth.

After relishing the bite, Amelia sighed with a mixture of wonder and hesitation, "Today's the day. How are you holding up?"

Owen nodded, "I'm good. I mean, really, the kids have been acting like they're married for years. Today just makes it official."

"There's truth in that," Amelia agreed as she considered Owen's words. "I'm sad because I'll miss them at home. A phase of their lives and ours is over."

"It would've happened anyway – with both of them in college next fall," Owen reasoned.

"But in college, they still come home a few times a year. It's like the trips home and school breaks ease the transition. Now when they come home, it'll be to visit," she sighed.

Widening his eyes with joy, Owen added, "But they'll bring a baby with them. And the best part is that we'll get to have all the fun and give it back when it cries or fusses or needs to be changed. I've waited for this stage with anticipation."

Amelia laughed, "You have, haven't you? I can see it in your eyes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Later that afternoon, Nolan, Ryder, Owen and Lucas gathered in one of the bedrooms. They each wore khakis and white button down shirts. The simple ensembles complemented Owen's and Lucas' blue eyes and red hair as well as Nolan's and Ryder's brown hair and green eyes.

As Owen knelt down to roll up Lucas' sleeves in a way that would stay put, Lucas praised his brother, "I'm glad we're not wearing ties and fancy black suits, Nolan. Good choice."

"Agreed, Little Man," Ryder echoed. "No ties, no suitcoat. Nolan, you and Lissa rock the wedding attire choices."

Nolan laughed, "Glad you're happy, guys. Luke, where's the ring pillow?"

"I dunno," the 4 ½ year old responded as he attempted to stand on his head against the wall. "I haven't ever had it."

"I think Mom has it," Owen reassured Nolan. He sat down in a chair in the corner of the room and smiled as he observed his sons. Chuckling, he was entertained by Ryder, who pretended not to have Lissa's wedding band when a nervous Nolan attempted to confirm that all was in order. Amazed at the family he and Amelia had made, Owen took a slow, deep breath as he let satisfaction sink deeply into his soul. These wonderful people were not only his kids, they were people he'd choose as friends if they weren't related to him. Each boy was clear in his own identity, funny, well schooled, and respectful. Each had found their own space within a large family full of large personalities. Owen's life was happily full.

Amelia knocked on the door, "Everyone decent?"

"No, but we're all dressed," Ryder quipped. Owen swatted Ry's head playfully with a magazine.

She walked into the room and placed her hands over her heart, "You all look fantastic. Nolan, the pastor is here. Are you ready?"

"Ready to make Lissa my wife? Hell, yeah," he beamed as he threw his trusty Nerf ball in the air. "Let's go, Ry."

"What if she stands you up, Nolan? Then what?" Ryder teased.

Nolan body checked him into the wall and confidently responded, "That's not happening."

"You never know…" Ryder warned with dripping sarcasm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Around 4:00pm, Lissa stood alone and looked in the full length mirror. Feeling serene, peaceful, and just a touch apprehensive, she smiled at her reflection. As far back as she could remember, Lissa had dreamed of being a bride and of becoming a Mama. Standing in wonder that she was now living out both fantasies, her heart nearly burst at its seams. She believed she was ready, and was exactly where she was meant to be. She wanted for nothing more.

Earlier, Lissa and Amelia had helped the other girls prepare for the wedding. Olivia's unruly curls had been tamed and tended. To Olivia's utter joy, Amelia helped Livie apply the slightest amount of makeup for the big day. The twins, one with stark black hair and the other with flaming red hair, shared the same hairstyle. Lissa had brushed their long hair straight down their backs and gathered hair from above their ears into small braids that connected at the back of their heads.

Bringing Lissa back to the present moment, Amelia smiled widely as she popped her head through the door, "Are you ready?"

After a breath, Lissa responded, "Yes. How do I look?" Her long blonde hair hung straight down in the simple style she wore every day. It fell onto her shoulders and cascaded down to her chest.

Amelia walked over and put her hands on either of Lissa's shoulders. She described, "Like a bride. A beautiful, incredible, loving bride."

"Thanks," Lissa grinned softly. "And Nolan's all ready? Is he downstairs?"

With a slight giggle, Amelia responded, "He's on the deck… pacing. His Nerf ball is in his hand and he's squeezing it, wishing the sky had a ceiling he could bounce it against. Ryder is with him, giving him a hard time."

A knock on the door was accompanied with Owen's voice on the other side, stating, "We're ready."

"Come on in," Lissa called out.

"Before I leave," Amelia pointed out, "are you set on the borrowed, blue, old, new deal?"

"The dress is new, there's a little section of blue beads on the hem of the dress," Lissa began. "My engagement ring was Kayla's – I guess that could count as something old."

Trying to help, Owen reached into his pocket and pulled out some change, "Wanna borrow some money?"

"I don't have a pocket, Dads," Lissa laughed.

Taking off her necklace, Amelia began to place it around Lissa's neck, "How about this?"

"Really? Thanks," Lissa offered as her eyes softened. Owen had given Amelia the necklace on their fifth anniversary. Its elegant simplicity worked well with Lissa's dress.

"I love you, Lissy Lou," Amelia quipped as she hugged her daughter-in-law.

"I love you, too, Amma," Lissa echoed as she closed her eyes and rested in their embrace for a few seconds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~```'

Amelia stepped out and headed down to the porch to let everyone know the bride was on her way. The Pastor, Nolan and Ryder stood about twenty feet away from the edge of the deck. Both of the boys had their hands in their pockets as they chatted and nervously waited.

Amelia walked up to the boys and hugged them both. As she embraced Nolan, she whispered in his ear, "You will be a fantastic husband. I love you so much." Nolan, trying his best not to be teary, quickly wiped a stray tear from his cheek.

Ria and Anna followed their mama. In matching dresses, they held hands and carefully proceeded toward their older brothers. They carried baskets with white rose pedals and tossed the pedals along the pathway. Close behind, Lucas proudly carried the ring pillow with the rings doubly secured on it. Olivia, her long red curls beautifully falling on her shoulders, preceded Lissa. When she reached Nolan, she leaned over to him and disclosed with a lighthearted tone, "She's next, Nolan."

"I was counting on that," Nolan winked.

The waves of the ocean provided beautiful music as Owen emerged with Lissa on his arm. His pride and happiness were evident as he alternated between gazing forward and glancing at Lissa. Without any hesitation, Lissa walked toward her groom with her eyes fixed on him.

When Owen and Lissa reached Nolan, Nolan hugged his dad and grasped Lissa's hand. Owen stepped to Ryder's side, picked up Lucas, and joined Amelia. Since they were the only attendees not in the wedding party, the family arranged themselves into a half circle so everyone could see and hear the short ceremony.

"Nolan and Larissa, your wedding today is a reminder of the power of love. Your hearts are already united and, today, the two of you become one. You officially become "we." When two individuals come together to commit their lives to one another, individuality remains. Yet, identity broadens to include the wishes, dreams, hopes, and needs of another person," the pastor began.

"Nolan, do you intend to enter into the covenant of marriage? To become Larissa's husband and continue to share your joys, your sorrows, and all the challenges and celebrations that the years may bring?" the officiant asked.

Looking deeply into Lissa's eyes, Nolan responded, "Yes, without any doubt."

"Larissa, do you intend to enter into the covenant of marriage? To become Nolan's wife and continue to share your joys, your sorrows, and all the challenges and celebrations that the years may bring?" the officiant repeated.

Softly yet with confidence, Lissa answered, "I do."

"You have declared your intentions to one another and now have promises to offer each other. Nolan, repeat after me," the Pastor coached.

"I, Nolan James, stand here willing and eager to be your husband. I love you, Larissa Lorraine, and pledge to faithfully spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to provide for us and to lead our family. Each day, I will care for you and protect you. I will honor you, respect you, and encourage you. I commit my life to you and will journey with you through all sorrows and joys, all hardships and triumphs, and all the experiences of life."

After wiping tears, Lissa repeated after the pastor, sharing, "I, Larissa Lorraine, am honored to be your wife. I will follow you, heed your guidance, and tenderly care for you and our family. I promise to be by and on your side. I will honor you, respect you, and cherish you. I commit my life to you, Nolan James, and will journey with you through all sorrows and joys, all hardships and triumphs, and all the experiences of life. I love you and pledge to faithfully spend the rest of my life with you."

With a gentle grin, the pastor continued, "Do you have rings for one another?" The couple nodded as Lucas hopped like a bunny in front of the couple.

"This one is for Nolan," Lucas pointed out to Lissa. She smiled and bent down to untie the ring from the pillow. A month prior, Ryder had approached Lissa and asked her if she wanted to use Blake's wedding band. Ry had inherited it, but had no intention of ever wearing it. He felt strongly that the ring belonged on Nolan's finger. After a long conversation, he convinced Lissa to take it. Next to Blake and Kayla's initials and the inscription _I will love you forever_ , Lissa had arranged to have Nolan's initials and her initials added. Nolan had no idea he would soon receive his father's ring.

Lissa already wore Kayla's engagement ring with joy. Since Kayla's wedding ring was passed down to Olivia, Nolan had a new diamond band designed to work with the engagement ring. The band included six diamonds, representing each of them and each child they planned to parent. Nolan leaned down and untied the band from the pillow and received a high five from Lucas as he grasped it.

"Liss… Blondie…. Shorty, may this ring always remind you of my promises to you and my love for you. I am honored to call you my wife," Nolan declared with a wink as he placed the ring on Lissa's finger.

Repeating nearly the same words, Lissa echoed, "Nolan, may this ring always remind you of my promises to you and my love for you. I am honored to call you my husband."

"Having stated their vows and given and received rings, Nolan and Lissa have joined together as husband and wife. You may kiss the bride," the pastor invited.

Nolan leaned down and kissed Lissa multiple times before picking her up and twirling her around. After they kissed, the Pastor introduced them, "I present to you _Nolan and Larissa Tremblay-Hunt."_


	61. Chapter 61 - Juggling

**Chapter 61**

 **A Pivotal Year – Juggling**

 **Nolan and Lissa 18, Ryder 14, Olivia 11**

 **Twins 6, Lucas 4 ½, Baby Trems 12 weeks along**

 **Monday, March 13**

Owen and Amelia returned to Seattle shortly after the wedding, both relieved to be heading home yet sad to say goodbye to Nolan and Lissa. Over the first month, life without the older kids at home had begun to settle and a new normal was unfolding. The dinner table seemed a touch quieter and the drama level had decreased slightly. Now the oldest at home, Ryder grew up and matured in fits and starts. Never having had an opportunity to be the leader at home, he thrived in the role and brought his own candid humor and perspective into the mix.

Without Lissa's presence as a driver, Amelia and Owen found themselves juggling schedules and relying on Lynne and her steadfast presence. School drop off responsibilities became a day by day affair depending upon surgery schedules and meetings. Lynne handled pick ups and after school shuttling to practices and lessons. The need for intentional management of everyone's schedules was exhausting but necessary.

"Olivia has a planning meeting tomorrow afternoon for next year's classes. Any chance you can make it?" Amelia inquired as she and Owen ate lunch in the hospital cafeteria.

With his mouth full, Owen brought his eyebrows toward the bridge of his nose and asked, "Why is this coming on the radar now?"

Amelia explained, "She lost the paper the first time they asked her to bring it home. She swears she never received the second notice…"

"That she also lost," Owen sighed.

"Likely," Amelia nodded. "Nonetheless, we were assigned a time since we didn't request one. Can you make it? I have a glioblastoma at 2:30 tomorrow."

"Likely excuse," Owen winked. "I'll figure out a way. You know that Patricia is going to fire me if I keep having her reorganize my days."

"Better you than the hospital losing her. This place couldn't function without her behind-the-scenes magic," Amelia teased.

Scoffing, Owen sputtered, "But I'm replaceable?" Pouting playfully as he stroked Amelia's leg under the table, he coaxed, "I've always considered my behind the scenes work to be pretty extraordinary."

"I'm keeping your skills all to myself. No way am I sharing your behind the scenes talents with this place," she professed with a grin.

After swallowing a bite of his sandwich, Owen questioned, "So what do I have to do at this school thing?"

"Most of her schedule is set. Help her figure out her after school commitments – they're nearly all art based so she's interested in all of them. She marked drama, yoga, and ceramics as her top preferences. She also needs to choose a science elective and, of course, is not a bit interested in any of the options. I've been trying to encourage her to consider Disease Detectives or Crime Lab. Ryder thinks she should take entymology."

Laughing loudly, Owen burst out, "Bugs? She'd hate that. Besides, the class would be full of boys and she doesn't like them anymore than she likes bugs."

Amelia put her hands in the air with a smile, "Ry's idea, not mine." Hearing her phone buzz, Amelia picked it up to discover a text from Nolan that included a picture of Lissa and her baby bump, _12 wks. How cute is she?_ Given Lissa's short stature and petite frame, the baby's only option was to grow outward. Lissa's burgeoning bump made her seem further along than she was.

With a giant grin, Amelia held her phone up so Owen could see. Smiling, he commented, "Phew… 12 weeks. We're past the thin ice."

"She was on thin ice? What do you know that I don't?" Amelia questioned.

Shaking his head, Owen reassured her, "Not Liss specifically. I meant any pregnancy. What's the stat about miscarriage in the 1st trimester?"

"Some number I'd rather not know," Amelia pointed out to her husband with a poker face as she raised her eyebrows.

Owen leaned over and kissed his wife, whispering, "I'm sorry I mentioned it."

Rubbing her cheek against his, she responded, "It's fine, Owen, really."

Both aware of the limited time available before upcoming commitments in the OR and ER, the couple continued eating their lunch without conversing.

"How much time do you have right now?" Amelia inquired, remembering something she'd hoped to discuss.

Looking at his watch, Owen disclosed, "10-15 minutes. Why?"

"Are we going to go through with the plan Olivia and Lissa have cooked up? The idea for Livs to spend the summer with them?" Amelia wondered aloud.

Shrugging, Owen offered, "I'd hate to be away from Livs all summer, but I guess I'm fine with a month. Besides, Ryder will be in North Carolina all summer at the Naval Academy camp."

With a tinge of sadness, Amelia admitted, "I'm afraid he's going to love it there and not want to come home. I keep having dreams where he asks to stay for year-around boarding school."

"It might happen," Owen nodded. "I have no doubt he will thrive there. I can't wait to see it. Anyway, why are you asking about Liv? Do we need to decide this early?"

"No," Amelia shook her head, "I've been considering the possibility of talking to my boss about the possibility of taking the summer off to be with my Littles."

"Your boss has a vested interest in his own answer," Owen chuckled. "Especially financially."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

An hour later, a trauma came to the ER. Amelia ran outside and saw Owen standing in the bay waiting for the ambulance.

"I heard there was probable head trauma," Amelia nodded.

"Yeah. Pregnant woman, hit and run in a crosswalk. She lost consciousness at the scene but they were able to revive her without much trouble," Owen seethed as he imagined the event.

"Robbins on her way down?" Amelia questioned.

"Yeah," Owen nodded. Diving into deep concentration as he anticipated the patient's condition, his answers were brief and to the point. As Army strong as he might appear, however, Amelia knew a part of him was sobbing inside. She softly grasped his hand and squeezed, holding on until the ambulance doors opened in front of them.

"What have we got?" Owen bellowed with his customary words.

Nicole popped out of the ambulance with an expression of disappointment and disbelief, "24 year old female, 26 weeks pregnant. Struck and left down. Pedestrians called us."

Flipping his stethoscope on, Owen awaited further details. The paramedic continued, "Patient lost consciousness at the scene. Out less than a minute. She appears to be in quite a bit of pain, but we didn't treat that because of the pregnancy." Nicole continued by sharing vitals and other patient details.

Next to Owen and Nicole, Amelia stood holding the patient's hand firmly. "What's your name?"

"Bree," the patient stammered weakly. "Can someone call my husband? He's an emergency contact on my phone. Paul. His name is Paul."

"Strauss! Call Paul and let's get him down here," Amelia ordered an intern. Turning back toward Bree, Amelia waved her pen light in front of the patient's eyes. She performed a basic neuro exam and shared with Owen, "She looks clear for neuro. Page me if anything changes."

Owen glanced back and nodded. Bree held onto Amelia's hand, "Please don't leave me."

"Bree, we're going to get another doctor down here that can check the baby and also take care of you. I'm a brain surgeon. The good news is that your brain looks fine," Amelia smiled.

"Let's get her inside," Owen announced as he began wheeling the gurney. "Where's Robbins? And I need Torres also."

"Robbins is right here," Arizona announced as she stepped through the doorway and immediately turned around as the gurney began to pass her. "Do we have a name? SO? What do we know?"

Amelia shared, "Bree, this is Dr. Robbins. She is a fantastic doctor and will be taking over." Catching Arizona's eye, Amelia led Bree's hand toward Arizona's hand. "It's ok, Bree. I'll come check on your later." Bree tentatively let go of Amelia's hand and quickly grasped Arizona's.

The group entered Trauma One and began attaching monitors and IVs to the terrified Mama. Amelia, standing at the nurse's station, couldn't shake the feeling in her gut that she needed to be in the room. Nothing scientific supported her hunch, but she trusted it anyway.

As Owen, Arizona and Callie swarmed the patient and various residents and nurses filled the scene, Amelia walked into the trauma room.

"Dr. Shepherd, we've got a full house," Owen pointed out, hinting that she wasn't needed.

Not in doctor mode, Amelia lamented in a monotone voice, "Nobody is holding her hand."

"I don't have time to chat, Shepherd. Thank you for your interest," Owen insisted, already feeling overwhelmed by the amount of personnel and the patient's moaning and crying. "Torres?"

"Definitely a fractured femur. It can wait until she's stable. Her opposite hip is dislocated – want me to deal with that now?" Callie questioned. Amelia stood frozen in the doorway, quietly repeating, "Nobody is holding her hand."

"Not until I have a better read on the baby," Arizona advised as she analyzed the fetal monitor.

"What does that mean?" Bree cried out. "How is my baby? What's going on? Someone please talk to me."

"Bree," Owen responded evenly, "we're assessing everything right now to make sure we're aware of any injuries or issues. The baby has a heartbeat. You and the baby are in good hands." Owen glanced at Robbins and inquired, "Robbins, how can I check for internal injuries and stay out of your way?"

"We need a portable ultrasound in here," Arizona called out.

Amelia burst into the chaos and sat down on a stool by Bree's head. She clasped her hand around Bree's shoulder and calmly spoke in her ear, "I'm right here, Bree. Your husband is on his way. We need you to take nice, slow, deep breaths, ok? Look right here, look in my eyes, Bree. Forget about everything going on around us."

Owen glanced up at Amelia, mostly disappointed that she'd ignored his orders. "Let's limit the room. Torres, stay until Robbins can advise on the hip. Miller, Becky, Susan, stay. Everyone else clear out."

With a squared jaw, Amelia glared at Owen with insistence. She was not going to leave. Owen let out a slow breath from under his mask.

"Patient's heartrate and BP are stabilizing, Dr. Hunt," a nurse informed the Chief.

Arizona pulled Owen aside and quietly informed him, "We need to deliver the baby. It's in distress. Let's prep for a C and Torres can pop the hip in while the patient is under."

"How many weeks?" Owen inquired, forgetting the detail.

"26. I'm tentatively hopeful," Arizona stated.

"Husband just arrived, doctors," a nurse announced as she popped her head into the room.

"I'll go," Owen committed. "When I come back, I'll need a read on possible internal injuries."

Calming down provided Bree with the energy to resume her panic. As tears rolled down her cheeks, she began rapidly asking Amelia questions.

"Bree…" Amelia responded. "One step at a time. One slow breath. One blink of your eyes. Stay in this moment with me."

Owen entered the room and declared, "Husband has given consent. Can he see her briefly?"

Every doctor nodded, with Arizona emphasizing, "Briefly."

A nurse ushered the father in and Owen put his hand on the husband's shoulder. Owen had already shared a summary of Bree's injuries. For Paul, seeing it was more terrifying than hearing about it. Paul leaned down by his wife's arm and attempted to soothe her. Gently, he stated that he loved her.

Robbins interrupted and insisted they get her to an OR. Amelia encouraged Paul to come along. As Robbins, Torres, and Hunt scrubbed, Amelia settled Paul on a stool next to his wife. Once he was in place, Amelia slipped out and stepped into the area where the doctors were scrubbing.

Making a quick exit, Torres and Robbins walked into the OR. Owen and Amelia were left in the room alone.

"When I give an order…" Owen reminded his wife sternly yet quietly.

"I know," Amelia nodded in agreement.

"I can't have you undermining me in front of others, Amelia," Owen huffed.

"I know," Amelia confirmed as she pursed her lips.

"When we're with a patient, your my subordinate, not my wife," he emphasized as he scrubbed and studied his hands rather than looking at her. "I don't always appreciate it either, but…"

"You're right," Amelia admitted. "I apologize. I ignored your orders and was out of line."

"Thank you," Owen nodded as he glanced up at her. As soon as he made eye contact, he knew what she was thinking. "You'd do it all over again, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, I would," Amelia confessed. "The patient needed someone beside her. In my best medical judgment…"

"When you are in my ER or OR, my best medical judgment overrules yours, are we clear?" Owen barked with a tight jaw. "We'll continue this after I'm out of surgery."

With three surgeons caring for her various injuries, Bree was in competent hands. Amelia sat down in the gallery to watch the surgery. She overheard residents asking one another questions and discussing what they were seeing. The residents were all impressed as they watched Callie skillfully pop bones into place. Some became wistful or teary as Arizona delivered the baby that Karev immediately tended. The tiny baby girl appeared to be stable as Karev transported her to the NICU with the father beside him.

Meanwhile, Owen worked quickly to address the internal bleeding he had suspected. Having to work around the C and the organs that were shifted due to pregnancy was a challenge.

"I need more hands down here," he vented. Gazing up to the gallery, he called out, "Simmons and Miller, hustle down here and scrub in." Before returning his focus to the patient, he caught Amelia's eye and could tell that she was disappointed he hadn't called her down. He hadn't done so due to one clear and obvious reason: her hourly rate was exorbitant for the work he needed done. Charging the patient and her insurance company neurosurgeon rates rather than resident rates would be out of line. Monetary concerns, however, were not on Amelia's radar.

Hours later, as Owen delegated the closing to a capable 5th year resident, he stepped out of the OR to scrub out. Amelia was waiting for him by the sinks.

"Not now, Amelia. I'm exhausted, I'm hungry, and I need to pee," he grumbled.

With a serious tone, she put her hands on her hips and asked, "Why didn't you call me down?"

"Because I wouldn't be able to justify neurosurgeon rates to an insurance company when they discovered I needed hands to hold retractors," he explained as he washed his hands and pulled off his surgical cap.

With a shrug, Amelia countered, "I could have offered my services pro bono."

"We didn't have time to discuss it, Dr. Shepherd," Owen insisted respectfully. "If you'll excuse me…"

Owen stepped out with Amelia tagging along behind him. He entered the men's room and turned to her, "Please don't follow me in here," he grinned, attempting to lighten the moment with a wink.

Amelia leaned against the wall and exhaled audibly. On the one hand, she knew Owen was 100% correct. What bothered her what that he didn't seem concerned about assigning a nurse or resident to hold the patient's hand.

Not surprised, Owen discovered Amelia waiting for him when he left the restroom. He took two steps forward and grimaced. "You want to talk…" he stated flatly.

"Can we go to your office?" she suggested.

Placing his arm around his wife, Owen led Amelia toward the elevator. He didn't want to fight. In fact, he wasn't sure he even wanted to discuss what had transpired. Amelia was Amelia. He knew that as did everyone else who had been in the room. Others wouldn't question his orders as she had done, and Owen knew that with certainty. Just the same, he was weary of constantly making the distinction between being Chief and being husband.

When the couple entered his office, Owen plopped onto the sofa and sought to confirm, "Am I your husband who needs to hear about how frustrated you are with your Chief or am I the Chief who's somewhat pissed that you once again disregarded my repeated requests?"

"I truly am sorry, Owen," she responded as she sat on the edge of the couch and ran her fingers through his sweaty post-surgery hair.

Boring his eyes into hers, he agreed, "I know you are, Mia. And I also know you'd do it again."

"Why wasn't someone put on emotional care? The woman was in a panic, she was pregnant, she was hurting, she was crying out," Amelia detailed.

"I could answer, but I don't need to justify my medical decisions about how to run a trauma," Owen offered.

"A Chief is above reproach?" Amelia questioned as she pressed for an answer.

"No…" Owen responded slowly. "Is there a reason we need to belabor this, Mia? Because I'm willing to move on and forget about it." He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"What if that had been Lissa?" Amelia questioned.

Not having heard her, Owen blinked slowly and mumbled, "Hmm?"

"What if Lissa had been the patient? How would you feel if the doctor ignored her questions and disregarded her panic?" Amelia inquired softly. "That's why I'm pissed Owen. That poor frightened Mama was injured and terrified, and your only concern was her physical state."

"I was running a trauma, Amelia. Of course my concern was focused on assessing physical injuries," he sighed. "But I do see your point and will keep it in mind in the future."

"Convince me," she challenged both playfully and seriously.

Imitating a growl, Owen sat up and grabbed his wife in a bear hug. He pulled her on top of him as he lay back down and countered, "It's a good thing I love you."

"It's a good thing for you that I love you," she kidded as she kissed him. Hopping off of him, she continued with a flirty tone, "But you're sweaty and smell like an OR. Maybe if you go take a shower we can show each other what all that love looks like."


	62. Chapter 62 - Plans Gone Awry

**Chapter 62**

 **A Pivotal Year – Plans Gone Awry**

 **Nolan and Lissa 18, Ryder 14, Olivia 11**

 **Twins 6, Lucas 4 ½, Baby Trems 15 weeks along**

 **Monday, April 3 – Saturday, April 8**

In one of their customary planning sessions Amelia and Owen sat in the hospital cafeteria with papers strewn atop the table. Surgical schedules, school schedules, permission slips, and lunch account reminders littered the space as the doctors sought to make order from chaos.

"If you took the field trip to the zoo with Lucas' class on April 14th, I could probably arrange for Derek to take my surgeries so I could go to Olivia's recital on the 18th," Amelia proposed.

Shaking his head, Owen frowned, "Luke's trip is the same day as the final day of the residents' board review. I can't get out of that." Grabbing his phone, Owen searched his online calendar and offered, "I could make the recital. I'd probably be a little late, but I'd be there."

"What would you be coming from?" Amelia inquired as she chewed on the top of her pen.

"A budget meeting," Owen responded.

"Those always run late, don't they? You'll end up stuck and miss the recital," Amelia predicted.

"You're right," Owen sighed. "Maybe we need to tell Lucas that we'll try for the next field trip."

"Are you willing to tell those darling blue eyes that neither of us can make it?" Amelia mourned with a forced grin.

"We could take him to the zoo the following weekend and he could be our tour guide," Owen suggested with a sense of hope.

As Amelia considered Owen's idea, Patricia approached, "Dr. Hunt, I'm sorry to interrupt. I just received a call from UCLA confirming that you'll be speaking at their Trauma Medicine conference on April 11th. I'm not showing it on my calendar."

"Oh… yeah," Owen recalled. "They called me a few weeks ago, and I said I was available. Did I forget to tell you that?"

"Yes," the two women responded in unison.

With an uncomfortable grin, Owen inquired, "I'll bet that means I don't have airline tickets."

"Unless the magic ferry from the Trauma Medicine conference made the reservations, you'd be correct," Patricia hunched as she tilted her head. Owen looked at Patricia with begging eyes. "What are your travel dates?" she asked as she prepared to write a note on a piece of paper.

Glancing at Amelia, Owen guessed, "What do you think? The conference is the 10th – 12th and I'm speaking on the 11th."

"I'm covering the overnight on the 7th," Amelia shared. "Can you wait to depart until Saturday afternoon or evening?"

"Sure," Owen agreed. He turned to Patricia, "How about if we shoot for travel dates of late on the 8th to the 13th or 14th? That'll give me at least a little time to visit with Nolan and Lissa."

"Does that work for you, Dr. Shepherd?" Patricia kindly confirmed.

Amelia peered up from the master calendar she was working on and nodded, "Thanks, Patricia."

"Do you want hotel reservations as well, Dr. Hunt? Or a car?" Patricia inquired.

"Car, yes. I think the conference is providing the hotel. If not, I could crash on Nolan's couch," Owen thought aloud.

Amelia laughed, "You really want to sleep on a cast off sofa and then speak publicly? You're not 20 anymore, O."

Shrugging his shoulders, Owen relented, "If the conference isn't providing a room, maybe you could book something near Nolan's house. I'd rather commute to the conference than the other way around." Patricia wrote herself a note and smirked before she returned to her office to arrange Owen's travel details.

"Just a thought…" Amelia proposed. "You might want to let the kids know you're coming."

"Good point," Owen grinned. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and typed out a text to Nolan, _Hey, speaking at UCLA April 10-12. Can stay an extra day or two to visit if you guys are available._

As he awaited a reply, Owen helped Amelia sort out other calendar details. His phone sounded and he read, _Great. I have classes but otherwise we're free. Stay at our place!_

 _Don't you want to check with your wife first?_ Owen typed, partially teasing and partially mentoring the new husband.

 _We're boring. No plans. Sure of it,_ Nolan replied.

 _Conference is providing a hotel but it'll be great to see you both,_ Owen clarified. _Will let you know details as soon as I have them_

When the littles discovered that Owen was not only going away but was going to see the Tremblay-Hunts, the protests began _._ Lucas suggested that he could stow away in Owen's suitcase and the twins whined and begged for Owen to buy them airline tickets. Olivia attempted to be nonchalant about the matter, even though her heart was breaking. Even Amelia's promises to provide a fun weekend didn't seem to minimize the disappointment.

By the end of the week, Nolan and Lissa were ready for their visitor. Just in case he changed his mind, Lissa had made up the airbed in the nursery and had set out towels. Now in her second trimester, her energy had begun to return and she was thoroughly enjoying nesting.

Saturday morning, hours before Owen's arrival, Nolan woke up and went for a run. After filling his lungs with the fresh spring air, Nolan returned an hour later. As he approached the house and turned toward the front door, he could smell something baking. He walked inside and spotted blueberry muffins cooling on the counter. He quickly reached for one and grinned.

"Hey!" Lissa laughed. Nolan enveloped her in his arms and kissed her cheek before stuffing half the muffin in his mouth. Then he bent down and kissed her baby bump. In response, Lissa grimaced and held herself on the underside of the bump.

"You ok?" Nolan inquired, placing his hand above hers.

Lissa frowned and shifted, "I think so. Just a weird cramp. I've had a few of them since last night. Maybe this is what it feels like when she's kicking me."

"Or he," Nolan pointed out. Although they did not yet know the gender of the baby, Lissa had become convinced that she was having a girl. Every old wives' predictor confirmed her hunch.

"Or he," she smiled. "Anyway, I'm fine."

With a mouthful of muffin, Nolan muttered, "I'm going to take a shower."

A few minutes later, just as he was finishing, Nolan heard Lissa calling for him. Her voice was not the one he would hear when she'd call him inside for dinner nor the one she used when frustrated with his shoes being left all over the house. His first impression was that she was in distress. He quickly blew off that possibility, assuring himself that he was jumping to conclusions.

He turned the water off and grabbed a towel to dry off, responding, "Shorty, I'm right here."

"Something's wrong," Lissa called out from the living room.

Quickly wrapping a towel around his waist, Nolan ran to his wife and questioned, "What's wrong, baby?" He knelt down on the floor and stroked her hair away from her clammy face.

"I'm hurting. Really bad," she explained as her eyelids flitted.

Grabbing his cell phone and calling Addison, he questioned, "How long? Where's the pain?"

"It just started," she gasped. Maneuvering into the fetal position, Lissa detailed, "My lower back hurts. I'm cramping."

As Lissa moaned, Nolan reached Addison and described the situation. Addie could hear Lissa in the background. "Nolan, you need to call 911."

"Keck is a mile away. I'll take her myself," Nolan pointed out, referring to the hospital when the couple planned to deliver. He quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt as he spoke to the doctor.

"Call an ambulance, Nolan. We don't have time to argue," Addison ordered.

Nolan hung up and grabbed a blanket. He wrapped it around Lissa's shoulders and scooped her into his arms. After carrying her to the garage, he gently set her in the back seat and promised, "Larissa, I'm getting you help, baby."

He drove to the ER entrance and two residents ran to him, "Sir, I'm terribly sorry – you cannot park here."

"Whatever," Nolan stated quickly as he guided a resident to the back seat, "My wife is back here. Fifteen weeks pregnant. She's in pain. Lower back and cramping. Our doc is on the way."

"Dr. Montgomery? She called," the other resident shared. "Move your car and meet us inside. We've got her wife, sir." With lightning speed, they whisked Lissa and the gurney away.

As Lissa was wheeled inside, Nolan jumped in the car and pulled it into a parking spot. He reached his arm over the front seat, feeling for Lissa's purse. Making contact with the strap, he pulled and emptied the purse onto the floor and backseat.

"Come on!" he hollered to himself as he opened the back door and threw everything but a protein bar back inside the bag. He quickly chowed down the bar as he ran toward the ER entrance, Nolan dictated a group text to Owen and Amelia that read, _Lissa at Keck ER. Doc M on way. Will call asap._ Owen was in the air, but would soon receive the message. Amelia was in surgery and was told nothing, as per hospital policy.

Nolan stepped inside and discovered a line of three people ahead of him. He moved his weight from one foot to another as he waited and peered to the front of the non-moving line. Finally, he stepped to the front and explained, "I just dropped my pregnant wife off in the ambulance bay. Larissa Tremblay-Hunt. I need to be with her."

"In a moment, Sir," the receptionist smirked. "Stay in line and we'll get your information then get you back with her as soon as possible."

"I'm sorry," Nolan declared, "that's not acceptable. I need to be with her _now._ "

The other people in line rolled their eyes or folded their arms, annoyed by the man attempting to cut in line. The receptionist repeated, "In line, sir."

Nolan stepped back from the desk and spotted a nurse heading through the locked door that kept him from Larissa. As if he was in his father's ER, he confidently stepped through the door behind her. Lissa conveniently let out a moan and he was able to quickly identify her exam room. Letting himself in through the curtain without a knock, Nolan was so focused on reassuring his wife that he didn't notice the staff had her legs placed in stirrups and were in the midst of a pelvic exam.

A nurse quickly snapped, "Sir! Step out. We will come find you when…"

Lissa moaned as she writhed in pain. Holding out her hand, she interrupted the nurse and grasped Nolan's hand. As if taken over by an outside force, Lissa demanded, "This is my husband. He's not leaving."

He stood to the side of her head far from the drapes atop Lissa's legs and knees. Lissa squirmed in pain, hoping to end up in the fetal position. The OB resident encouraged with kindness, "Larissa, you need to stay as still as you can. I know it hurts. We're almost done." Nolan noticed the resident make eye contact with another unidentified medical person and state, "Let's get an ETA on Dr. Montgomery and repeat vitals. And find out the status on that portable ultrasound."

Standing up, the resident glanced at Nolan and shared with a voice full of gravity, "Let's get a gown on Mr. Tremblay-Hunt, please." Patting Lissa's leg and gently removing her feet from the stirrups, the resident shared, "Ma'am, we're working to calm down your contractions…"

"Contractions?!" Lissa attempted to yell but actually groaned feebly. She locked her eyes onto Nolan and continued weakly, "Cramps. They mean cramps, right?"

The resident softly provided numerous verbal orders to a nurse named Molly, then informed her patient, "Larissa, I'm going to step out and chat with your husband for a moment. Molly is here and will stay with you." The resident motioned for Nolan to follow her.

"Come right back," Lissa begged as Nolan kissed her forehead. He held her hand as long as he could.

In the hallway, the resident pursed her lips, "Mr. Tremblay-Hunt, your wife's pregnancy is seriously compromised."

"What the hell does that mean?" Nolan questioned as he rested his hands on his hips.

"Your wife was contracting. Her cervix and the placenta are intact. We're doing everything we can to maintain the pregnancy," the resident med-spoke.

"Maintain? Compromised? This all sounds very serious," Nolan commented.

Addison approached from behind and stated rapidly, "Nolan, no time for updates right now. Let me go take a look. I'll send someone out for you soon. Now would be a good time to call your parents."

As she and the resident ran into Lissa's room, Nolan called out, "And tell them what?" After shaking his head, he called Owen's cell and caught him just as the plane pulled into the gate. "Dad," he uttered as Owen answered.

"Nolan," Owen, who had just read Nolan's earlier text, sighed with relief. "What's going on?"

"Everything and everyone is moving really fast. The doctor just said Lissa's intact but compromised. I don't have any idea what that means," Nolan sputtered. "I've been in and out of the room. Right now, I'm in the hall."

"Is she having contractions?" Owen inquired.

"Yeah… I guess. She said she was cramping and that her back really hurt. Someone said something about slowing the contractions," Nolan muttered in a haze.

"Nolan, listen…" Owen began. He explained that the plane had just landed and that he'd be there as soon as possible.

"Love you," Nolan offered out of habit, unsure what else to say.

A nurse stepped out and approached Nolan. "Mr. Tremblay-Hunt? Follow me, please."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

While Nolan was on the phone with Owen, Lissa had been taken to a birthing suite in Labor and Delivery. Tired from the anti-labor medications, she slipped in and out of awareness. She knew she was not alone, but she had no idea who was holding her hand and no idea what was happening around her in the frenzied room. The ceiling above her was a mixture of pitch black and blinding light. The blanket covering her body was warm but the air on her face was frigid. Sticky, goopy dots and squares were stuck all over her chest, back, and baby bump.

"Mrs. Tremblay-Hunt? Can you hear me?" Molly the hand holder asked with distress.

"Isssss," Larissa, only partially coherent, mumbled as she attempted to say her first name.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am," Molly explained as she shook her head with confusion. Lissa's heavy eyelids faded closed. She didn't have the energy to attempt to communicate.

At some future point – it may have been minutes, it may have been hours – Molly squeezed Lissa's hand and stated, "Mrs. Tremblay-Hunt." Opening her eyes as much as she was able, Lissa attempted to focus on the person speaking to her. All she saw was an out of focus face wearing pink scrubs. "We're going to give you some oxygen. You'll need to leave this on."

~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

Nolan was gowned and gloved by the nurse before being led into Lissa's room. As the nurse placed a mask over his mouth, he inquired, "Is all of this really necessary?"

"I'm afraid so," the nurse smirked. "She's been transported to another area. Follow me." The nurse led him down the labyrinthine halls and through doors marked, "Restricted – Authorized Personnel Only."

Emerging from a back hallway and into the Labor and Delivery unit, a fully capped and robed Addison waited for Nolan.

"Where are we and why?" Nolan inquired anxiously.

Addison placed her hands on his shoulders. "Nolan, we've been able to stop the contractions for now. The next few hours will be critical. We'll monitor Lissa and the baby closely and do whatever we can to keep them stable."

As a tear slid down his cheek, Nolan absently nodded his head.

"I know all of this is scary. It's shocking. But right now, Lissa will need you to be steady for her," Addison advised. "Let's go see her."

"Wait," Nolan stopped. With his voice shaking, Nolan managed, "Am I going to lose her?"

"Lissa should be fine, Nolan," Addison assured him.

After a large gulp, Nolan eeked out, "And the baby?"

"We're doing everything we can, Nolan," Addison grimaced. She put her arm around him and led him into Lissa's room. Nolan suspected that what Addison _didn't_ say was far more worrisome than what she shared. Her words, _We're doing everything we can,_ echoed in his mind. What he hadn't heard was strong assurance that the baby would stay alive in Lissa's womb.

Nolan smiled under the mask as he stepped over to Lissa and wrapped himself around her, the wires, and the tubes. "Hi, Baby."

Sleepily, she smiled and responded, "Trems." She opened her hand toward him and he encircled her hand with both of his as he sat beside her bed. "That was scary," she described.

"Yeah," Nolan affirmed. "But you're here. I'm here. We're here. You just need to rest, Blondie."

"The baby?" she begged.

"Needs to rest, too," Nolan smiled gently as he placed his hand on Lissa's baby bump. Lissa faded back to sleep as Nolan held vigil at her side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

An hour later, Owen arrived at the hospital and managed to locate Lissa's room. Quiet as a mouse, he entered the quiet, cool, and darkened space. Nolan was sleeping in a chair next to the bed, his head collapsed on the bed and his hands holding Lissa's. The lights were dimmed and the shades drawn, blocking the sunshine so Lissa could rest. The temperature helped her feel comfortable by countering the hot flashes she experienced from the medications. Owen quickly surveyed the space, noting the contents of the IV bags dripping substances into Lissa's arm, an oxygen cannula around Lissa's head, and the numbers on the heart, oxygen, and fetal monitors.

Nolan stirred from the other side of the bed and saw his dad. Looking up from the fetal monitor print out, Owen softly greeted, "Hey."

Raising his head off the bed, Nolan stood up and walked over to Owen. When he reached him, he fell into his dad's arms. Having no idea what had transpired, Owen stood and forced himself out of medical mode. Right now, he was Dad. Charts, printouts, and readings needed to be set aside while he held his son.


	63. Chapter 63 - Leaning On One Another

**Chapter 63**

 **A Pivotal Year – Leaning On One Another**

 **Nolan and Lissa 18, Ryder 14, Olivia 11**

 **Twins 6, Lucas 4 ½, Baby Trems 15 weeks**

 **Saturday, April 8**

"No!" Amelia exclaimed with mock drama as she drew a card from the pile and showed it to the littles, "Why do I always get Jolly?! I don't want to go back there."

Lucas rolled on the floor with the robust laughter that could only come from a preschooler. "You do, Mama. Every time we play Candyland. Every, every time."

Looking over from the couch, Ryder removed a headphone and inquired, "Did she get Jolly?" The twins shook their heads in unison, giggling.

"She always drew Jolly when I used to play that game with her, too," Ryder shared.

"Jolly hates me," Amelia pouted with a grin as she moved her game piece backward.

"I think he must really love you, Mom. He chooses you over anyone else in almost every game," Ryder corrected with a grin. "But, hey, soon you can be Gramma Nutt."

Barely able to spit out the words, Lucas repeated, "Gramma Nutt!" Just in case anyone missed the joke, Lucas explained in hysterics, "'Cause you're gonna be a grandma and then you could play this game and the Gramma Nutt card."

Leaning over to tickle him, Amelia suggested, "And maybe you can be Uncle Gloppy." Joining in the fun, the twins each jumped on Amelia as a four way ticklefest commenced. With their fast tiny fingers, the Littles managed to tickle their mama more than she tickled them.

"Who wants popcorn?!" Olivia bellowed loudly. Everyone jumped up and ran to the Dining Room table.

"Can't I eat it here, Mom?" Ryder beseeched from the couch. "I'm 14. I won't make a mess."

Amelia leaned her chin toward her chest and rolled her eyes. "Let me think about that…" she began and paused briefly, adding, "Umm…no."

Plodding over to the table, Ryder took a seat and joined the rest of the family.

"Let's play a game," Ria suggested with glee.

"It's not dinnertime," Ryder pointed out with a groan.

"Then let's play a popcorn time game," Ria shot back with charm.

"How about naming a movie that starts with a letter. A goes first, then B, then C, like that," Olivia suggested. "I'll start: Anastasia."

"Bug's Life!" Lucas yelled loudly as he pumped his fist high into the air.

"We're all sitting right here, Lucas. Shhhhh!" Anna admonished. Lucas folded his arms and lowered his brows in response.

"C," Anna continued like a little lady, "Cinderella."

"Daredevil," Ryder jumped in as he threw a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

Olivia interjected, "Enchanted!"

"That's one of Uncle Derek's favorites," Amelia disclosed. She looked down at her phone and noticed that Owen had sent her a text.

As she opened it, Ria encouraged, "Mama, you have F. Your turn."

 _Call me asap. Not in front of kids,_ Owen had written.

Distracted, Amelia said, "Finding Nemo… Ry, I'll be right back. Can you keep an eye on everything?"

"Yeah," he responded as he studied her demeanor. "Everything ok?"

"Mmm Hmm… I need to call the hospital. I'll be right back," she said blankly. A sense of foreboding washed over her as she walked into the playroom and closed the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``'

"Mia…." Owen sighed as he answered his phone.

"What's wrong?" Amelia quickly inquired.

Owen rubbed his free hand over his face and then ran it through his hair, "I'm at the hospital with the kids."

"Who's hurt, Owen? Spit it out," she stated simply and clearly.

"The baby… maybe," Owen revealed as Amelia melted toward the floor and hugged her bent legs tightly with her arms. "Liss had some contractions and lost consciousness from low BP. She's ok right now. No dilating or placental issues."

"Meds?" Amelia asked.

"She's maxed out on terbutaline and they're supplementing with mag sulfate," Owen informed her.

"Can I talk to her?" Amelia begged.

"She's asleep. Nolan's standing guard. He's… uh… too stoic, Mia. Too strong," Owen commented.

Amelia wiped a tear from her eye, "Emotionless."

"Yeah," Owen confirmed.

"He's holding himself together for her," Amelia commentated. "That's our Nolan." Owen didn't respond and silence buzzed through the phone line. "Owen?" Amelia sounded after a few seconds.

Sniffling, Owen sputtered weakly, "Mia… This doesn't feel good. I'm worried."

"Oh, Owen…" Amelia inhaled, realizing he was hurting and had been stuffing his pain as he tended to the kids. She closed her eyes, attempting to focus and take in Owen's words. In the ugliest of surgeries and in the midst of extraordinary crises, the capable Dr. Hunt seldom lost hope. To hear him admit his concern caused Amelia's heart to sink.

"Should I head down there?" she asked.

"I don't know, Mia. That could be the perfect decision or complete over-reaction. I just… I just don't know," Owen mused as his thoughts wandered.

Amelia took a deep breath, "Is Addie there?"

"When I stepped out of Lissa's room, she was charting nearby. Want me to see if she's still there?" Owen questioned.

"Please," Amelia responded.

"I miss you," Owen admitted as his voice cracked. "I wish you were here." Distraught, Owen didn't notice he had just answered the question he didn't know how to answer only a minute prior. He cleared his throat and attempted to center as he handed the phone to Addison.

"Amelia," Addison began.

"How bad is it, Addie?" Amelia asked bluntly.

"She's only 15 weeks," Addison reminded her.

"But her contractions are managed," Amelia repeated what she'd heard.

"For now. I have her on rotating doses of nifedipine and terbutaline. I've had great success with nifedipine – I've seen it hold off labor up to 8 weeks. Terbutaline alone only calms everything down for 24-72 hours."

"Addison," Amelia calculated, "Eight weeks still doesn't get the baby far enough along. It would delay the birth to 23 weeks."

"Maybe this will be the exception, Amy. It's far too early to predict details. If her body responds to the meds in the next 1-3 days, then outcomes are more hopeful. Sometimes, if we successfully halt labor this early, patients can even make it to term," Addison explained.

"If she kicks back into labor…" Amelia started and faded off.

"Then the prognosis is grim, Amy," Addison declared directly. She continued, "It is possible that she will efface and/or dilate while on the meds. I'll check her in about an hour and see where we are."

"What are her side effects?" Amelia inquired as she mentally went down her list of analysis.

"She's pretty flushed, which isn't too surprising for a fair-skinned blonde. Some dizziness and nausea, occasional racing heartbeat. Primarily, she's exhausted from the mag sulfate," Addison described.

"Should I come down there?" Amelia asked, yearning for someone to make the decision for her.

"Hey! Gramma Nutt, come play!" Lucas yelled cheerfully as he burst in the door. When he saw his Mama slumped against the wall, crying and holding her legs, he immediately changed his tune and walked over to her. He put his arm around her and rested his head on her shoulder.

"I can't answer that for you, Amy," Addison responded. "Which would be more difficult: to have arranged childcare at home and to have come for nothing or to not be here if the worst occurs?"

"Let Owen know I'm on my way. I'll call Derek and Lynne to help with the kids," Amelia requested as she hung up the phone.

In a scared little voice, Lucas questioned, "Mama, why are you sad?"

"A friend of mine is in the hospital in Los Angeles, honey. Mommy's going to go see her," Amelia explained vaguely.

"I give super good hugs. Can I come help her feel better?" Lucas requested.

Amelia ran her hand over Lucas' curls and kissed his forehead, "I wish you could."

Shortly, Amelia was en route to Los Angeles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Two hours after her discussion with Amelia, Addison entered Lissa's room to check on her.

"How's she doing, Dad?" she asked Nolan.

Out of habit, Owen replied, "Stable. She's been sleeping. BP is borderline low at 95/65."

"Thanks, Dr. Hunt," Addison smirked. Turning toward Nolan, she inquired, "How's she been?"

"Peaceful. Just sleeping," Nolan responded blankly. "She… uh… she squeezes my hand if I squeeze hers first."

"Good," Addison smiled softly. She listened to Lissa's heartbeat and lungs before waking her up. "Larissa? I need you to wake up so I can examine you. How are you feeling?"

"I'm going to be sick," she warned before losing it into a basin Addison held for her. "My stomach…" Nolan wiped his wife's face off without pause and with deep love. Owen watched from steps away, his heart shattering into pieces. He was simultaneously proud of his son and scared about the situation.

"We're going to get you some medicine to help with that," Addison promised as she looked toward the nurse and ordered IV Zofran. "I need to check you, Larissa. Can I do that?"

"I don't care," she responded as she lay back down on her pillows. Addison recommended that her bed stay angled upward and showed Nolan how to arrange it. As quickly as possible, Addison was able to determine the condition of the cervix. As she wheeled her stool away from Lissa, she caught Owen's eye and frowned.

"Nolan? Can your Dad stay with her for a minute while I catch you up?" Addison suggested.

Nodding firmly, he stood up and followed Addison out of the room. "Where are we now? What are the next steps?" Nolan inquired seriously.

"Right now, our top priority is to stabilize her and let her rest. There's been some change in her cervix since we last checked. We need to keep a close eye on her. I'm going to order an ultrasound – that may give us some insights as well," Addison explained. "I can share all this with your dad, if you like. Then I need to step into the OR for a surgery and will be back to check Larissa again in 2-3 hours."

Amidst the sobering situation, a peculiar calm emerged. Nolan climbed into the bed next to his wife and held her in his arms. One hand rested on Lissa's baby bump. The Zofran helped Lissa's nausea immediately, although it compounded her fatigue. Owen left for the quick trip to LAX to pick up Amelia. Even the usually frenzied Labor and Delivery hallway seemed tranquil.

When the ultrasound tech arrived, she encouraged Nolan to stay put as she performed the scan. Reassured to hear the baby's heartbeat, Nolan woke Lissa up.

"Blondie, do you hear that?" he whispered as he nudged his nose near her ear.

Without opening her eyes, Lissa smiled and hummed, "Mmm Hmm. Best sound in the world."

"Liss, you should see this. The baby just stretched out its arms," Nolan urged.

Responding with a wide smile, Lissa laughed softly and continued to keep her eyes closed. She explained, "I'm too tired, Nole. You watch. Tell me about it later, ok?"

Nolan stroked Lissa's hair as he watched the tech scan. Taking a chance, he inquired, "Can you tell the gender?"

"It's pretty early, but sometimes I can at this point in the pregnancy," she shared. She moved the transducer around and announced gently, "This baby seems pretty clear. Are you positive you want to know?"

"Absolutely," Nolan beamed as he studied the screen and came to his own conclusion.

"You and your wife are having a little girl, Mr. Tremblay-Hunt," the tech disclosed.

Nolan rested his forehead on Lissa's forehead and pecked her cheek. "Thanks," he whispered to the tech as a tear formed in his lower lid.

Within a minute of the tech leaving the room, Addison, fully dressed in surgical gear, entered the room. "How's she doing, Nolan?" Addison questioned softly as she reviewed some paperwork and printouts.

"Lissa's crashed – she's really sleepy. We just had an ultrasound. You could hear the heartbeat and the baby was stretching. We're having a girl," Nolan grinned.

"Congratulations," Addison smiled in response. "I'm not seeing any evidence of contractions. I'm going to back off on the mag sulfate. I'm hoping the nausea will go away and that her appetite might resume." Addie caught Nolan's eye and inquired, "Have the two of you considered names for that tiny little girl?"

"Blake Nolan was our boy name," Nolan stated, "I guess we'll have to save that for another baby. We haven't decided on a first name for a girl, but we know the middle name will be Iris."

"That's a unique name. Is there a story there?" Addison asked as she pulled over a nearby chair and sat down.

"Liss found out it means 'rainbow.' The day the baby was conceived, we saw a bright rainbow," he paused as he replayed the memory in his mind, then let out a small chuckle. "Great memory."

Addison patted Nolan's shoulder and assured him, "We'll keep an eye on your girls throughout the night."

"I'll be right here," Nolan promised, not surprising Addison at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~''

To save time and return to the hospital as quickly as possible, Owen agreed to pick Amelia up outside baggage claim. She sent a text with the door number and spotted him a few minutes later. The warm Los Angeles air and the palm trees helped compensate for the smog and smell of exhaust.

As the car idled, Owen hopped out and heartily embraced Amelia, taking several breaths through his mouth before loosening his grip and kissing her. As she settled into the car, he placed Amelia's quickly packed suitcase in the trunk of the rental. Owen jumped into the driver's seat and the couple initially exchanged no words – both knew there was so little to be said. Instead, the grasped one another's hand.

Ten minutes into the thirty minute drive, Owen wondered, "How's everything at home?"

"We were playing Candyland when you sent your text," Amelia began. "I drew Jolly. Again."

Chuckling, Owen suggested, "You need to throw that damn card out. It stalks you."

"Tell me about it. Damn card," Amelia agreed as she shook her head.

"How about the kids?" Owen continued.

"Lucas is having a particularly giggly night. It was pretty damn cute," she described. "Then, he walked in when I was crying. I told him I needed to go see a friend in the hospital. He asked if he could come and explained that he gives super great hugs that could help her feel better."

"Precious kid," Owen smiled.

Simultaneously, both Owen and Amelia said, "Takes after me." The two laughed and soaked in the break from the anxiety and sadness.

Owen inquired, "Do the kids know where you are and why?"

"No. I didn't see any reason to spread the anxiety at this point," Amelia shared.

"Good call, Mia," Owen agreed. "There's more unknown than known at this point anyway."

Amelia inquired, "Any updates since we spoke before I left Seattle?"

"There's been some change in Lissa's cervix. Addison didn't share details. BP is 95/65. Lissa's exhausted from the mag sulfate. Poor kid was also nauseous and vomiting from the meds – Addison ordered Zofran. That's helping," Owen recited.

"And probably making her even more tired," Amelia mused.

"Exactly," Owen nodded. "An ultrasound has been ordered."

"Why?" Amelia asked.

"Not sure," Owen shrugged. "I think it's to check the baby's condition in general. Maybe to spot any cervical changes. I dunno."

"How's Nolan?" Amelia questioned as she squeezed Owen's fingers.

"Steady on the outside. Most of the time, he lies beside her in bed. He has a notebook where he writes anything and everything down. He should offer classes for patient's families," Owen smirked.

"That's helping him cope. It probably gives him some semblance of control," Amelia sighed. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm glad you're here," Owen exhaled as he patted Amelia's hand. "I can't help but watch monitors and analyze data even though I'm not an OB. I'm spread thin. Nolan seems to appreciate having me there, but he's not opening up."

Amelia mused, "I doubt it's personal, Owen. He's on auto-pilot right now and probably doesn't know the words he wants to speak."

Countering, Owen opined, "I think he needs his mom."

"Or his wife… or his Nerf ball," Amelia added.

"I've got a house key – do you think we can find that ball?" Owen perked up with hope.

"Let's text him and see if he wants anything else from home," Amelia suggested as she began to type. _N – want us to stop by your house? Pick up anything? Eager to see you. XXOO_

Nolan, who had dozed off with Lissa in his arms, roused when he heard the text tone. He responded immediately. _Yes, please!_ After confirming the stop, he took a minute to create a list in his head and began sending texts: _Liss came in PJs. Can't fit into her regular pants anymore – might be tough to find the maternity stuff. She doesn't have much of it yet_ / _toothbrushes for both of us, brush, phone charger and Nerf on my nightstand_ / _my backpack, my sweats or PJ pants, tshirt, button down, jeans, razor, etc._

Amelia giggled after she read the lists in their entirety, "Apparently, they're moving in to the hospital."

"Ten to one he'll send at least one more detailed text before we leave their house," Owen teased.

"We're on the same side of that bet," Amelia grinned.


	64. Chapter 64 - No

**Chapter 64**

 **A Pivotal Year – No**

 **Nolan and Lissa 18, Ryder 14, Olivia 11**

 **Twins 6, Lucas 4 ½**

 **Sunday, April 9**

Early Sunday morning at 5:00 am, a nurse came in to check Lissa's vitals. She whispered to the couple, who were snuggled together in the bed, that she'd complete her task as quickly as possible. Noticing that Lissa's baby monitors had slipped out of place, she mentioned that she was going to re-position them. Lissa's temp and heart rate were normal. Her blood pressure continued to be borderline low at 96/64.

Once the baby monitors were back in position, the nurse stepped over to the print out. She did not like what she saw. Relieved that the couple were dozing, she ripped off part of the reading and stepped out of the room. After monitoring the activity from the nurses' station for an hour, the nurse had enough data to call Dr. Montgomery.

"Dr. Montgomery, I am sorry to call you so early," the nurse began when Addie answered the phone.

"And at home," Addison groaned as she yawned and slowly sat up.

"I'm calling about Mrs. Tremblay-Hunt," the nurse explained.

Addison's eyes widened. Upon hearing those words, she was alert and awake, "Go on."

"CTG is suspicious for minor contractions. Normally, I wouldn't be concerned, but she's just shy of 16 weeks. Fetal heartrate is steady – averaging 150," the nurse detailed.

"Are you sure they're contractions and not uterine irritability or Braxton Hicks?" Addison sought to confirm.

"I can text or email you a TOCO sample," the nurse offered respectfully. "I'm seeing rolls and some spikes. Highs go no higher than the 40s, duration is brief and the pattern is erratic. Frequency varies from 2 per minute to 3 per 10 minutes."

"Let's get some mag sulfate and Zofran in her IV. She responded well to yesterday's mag sulfate dose, but her contractions were stronger. Start with half the mag sulfate dose shown in the chart and repeat the same Zofran dosage as per last administration, check in 30 minutes. If contractions haven't slowed or if they have slowed but are still active, we can increase the dose. Keep me posted by text with promising news or by call with concerns or questions," Addison advised. The nurse repeated the orders to confirm the accuracy of her notes and proceeded to procure the medications for Lissa.

The nurse headed to the med closet and then to Lissa's room. Nolan was awake and watching a Sunday morning news program. He grinned when he saw the nurse. "Good morning," she smiled. "Dr. Montgomery ordered a couple prescriptions to get the day started. I'll be out of your hair in no time." Nolan didn't think anything of her actions as he pretended to focus on the TV.

"Hey, what's up?" Lissa asked sleepily as she awoke.

"Just checking your IV and putting some meds on board," the nurse smirked as she attempted to maintain a poker face.

Yawning, Lissa inquired, "What are the medications for?"

"I'm adding a small dose of the magnesium sulfate…" the nurse began.

"That stuff makes me sick. Do I really need it?" Lissa inquired.

"According to Dr. M. She also ordered Zofran to prevent any nausea," the nurse reassured her patient.

"Good. What about that other one? Terbutaline or something like that?" Lissa pressed as she sat up and stretched.

"You're off that one," the nurse informed her. "As long as I'm here, can I help you to the bathroom? Maybe you can grab a shower."

"Yeah, that'd be great," Lissa nodded as she assisted the nurse with the IV tubes and removed the oxygen.

Nolan jumped up to help Lissa out of bed, reminding her, "You might be dizzy, Babe. Be careful."

Crabby from all the meds flowing through her veins and growing weary of his constant hovering, Lissa sighed, brushed his arm away, and insisted she was fine. To her dismay, she was a touch unsteady when she stood. She grabbed the nurse's arm instead of Nolan's and proceeded to the restroom.

Exhaling deeply, Nolan walked around the room overthinking Lissa's latest action. Hurt, he called from the other side of the door, "Liss… I'm going to go grab something to eat. I have my phone if you need me."

"I'll be fine, Nolan," she responded with a hint of exasperation.

The nurse assisted Lissa to the shower and pointed out the call button, insisting that Lissa call her when she was ready to head back to her bed. When the nurse stepped out, she was relieved to see that Lissa's sheets had been changed. She walked to the nurses' station and discovered a fretful Owen and Amelia at the counter.

"Good morning, can I help you?" she inquired with a pleasant tone, surprised to see visitors this early on a Sunday.

"I'm Dr. Hunt. Larissa," Owen pointed to her room, "is my daughter-in-law. She wasn't in her room when we arrived."

The nurse smiled reassuringly, "She's taking a shower. Your son stepped out to find some breakfast."

"Oh good," Amelia sighed with relief. "How was her night?"

"She rested well," the nurse responded without releasing any substantial details.

"Is Addie… umm, Dr. Montgomery, planning on coming in any time this morning?" Amelia pressed.

Offering her best _I'm-being-polite-but-you're-getting-on-my-nerves_ grin, the nurse informed Amelia, "I spoke to her earlier. She didn't mention her plans for the day."

"We're bothering you," Owen admitted with embarrassment.

"Not at all," the nurse lied.

"We're both doctors. We've seen that face a thousand times. Hell, we've been that face," Amelia shared. "This is our first grandchild and the kids are so young. It's hard not to hover."

"Pardon me," the nurse said when she saw Lissa's call button light up. She walked slowly and calmly to the room and inquired, "All finished?"

"Umm… yeah. I think something might be wrong," Lissa responded with hesitation. "Come on in."

The nurse opened the bathroom door. Lissa was shivering and had a towel wrapped around her. Her hair was dripping wet. Looking down to the floor, she focused on a puddle of blood. Springing into action, the nurse grabbed additional towels and replaced the wet towel stuck to Lissa's back.

"There was no cramping or contraction or pain. Nothing. I was rinsing my hair and I felt a huge gush," she explained with fear.

"I know, honey. I'm right here," the nurse stated as she remained calm on the outside. She helped Lissa put on a fresh hospital gown and assisted her back to bed. Handing her a brush for her hair, she asked, "Any pain now? Cramping?"

"No," Lissa responded. "But it feels like it's still going."

"I need to step out very briefly and I'll be right back," the nurse promised as she walked to the nurses' station. Stepping into the office behind the desk and closing the door, she paged the resident on call and called Addison.

"Dr. Montgomery, Mrs. Tremblay-Hunt's water broke," the nurse disclosed.

"Dammit!" Addison yelled, causing both Henry and Jake to jump. "Contractions?"

"None," the nurse reported.

"There's not much we can do. Get her started on antibiotics and page the resident on call. I'll be there as soon as I can," Addie ordered.

The nurse added, "Just so you know, her in-laws are here at the counter."

"If the patient wants them with her, go ahead. He'll try to run to show – he can't help it. He's Chief of Surgery at his hospital," she explained.

Before the nurse concluded her call with Addison, the resident walked into Lissa's room with determined steps. Amelia and Owen took note of his entry. "Should we go in there?" Amelia wondered.

"Let's give it a minute," Owen suggested.

"Mrs. Tremblay-Hunt, I'm Dr. Lormann. I understand you have some bleeding," the resident began. Lissa was on her back with the head of the bed tilted up. "I'm going to lower the head of the bed and check things out. Are you here alone?"

"My husband went to get breakfast," Lissa shared.

"Your in-laws are in the hallway," the nurse added as she stepped in.

"Can she come in? My mother-in-law?" Lissa requested. She felt awkward calling Amelia her mother-in-law, but knew that was the speediest way to make reference to her Amma.

"Sure. Dr. Montgomery mentioned that was fine," the nurse smirked, offering the detail more for the resident than for Lissa.

As the resident finished assessing for dilation and began lightly palpating Lissa's abdomen, Amelia opened the door and spoke from the other side of the curtain, "Liss?"

"Amma, come here," she begged with the voice of a little girl.

With a reassuring tone of voice, Amelia slipped past the curtain and introduced herself to the resident, "I'm Dr. Amelia Shepherd."

"Dr. Lormann," the resident responded. "Nice to meet your doctor."

"Amma, I'm bleeding," Lissa disclosed with a trembling voice as tears pooled in her eyes.

"I know, Liss. I know," Amelia affirmed as she ran her hand along Lissa's forehead and the top of her head. "Addie's coming."

"Can you call Nolan?" Lissa requested. Amelia grabbed her phone and called. He answered right away and she explained the situation. Nolan promised he was on his way.

"Well, Mrs. Tremblay-Hunt, your membranes did rupture but I'm not noting any contractions or cervical changes whatsoever. That's very promising," Dr. Lormann detailed. "We'll keep all these monitors going and keep a close eye on you. Do you have any questions for me?"

Nolan stepped in and ran past the curtain. After quickly saying hello to Amelia, he stepped to Lissa's side and asked, "What's up, Shorty? You ok?"

The resident introduced himself and repeated what he'd just told Lissa. Nolan began hurling questions and noting the responses in his notebook. "Any contractions? Is the mag sulfate being administered? At what dose? What's the new bag on the IV pole? What caused her water to break? What can be done about that?"

Amelia smiled patiently at the resident, non-verbally communicating her gratitude for the resident's tenderness and compassion. Visually, she focused on Lissa and tried to keep her calm.

When Dr. Lormann began to leave, Lissa requested that he send Owen in. Now that her legs weren't up in stirrups, she had no problem with Owen being present. Momentarily, Owen stepped in and put his arm around Amelia as he bent down and kissed Lissa's cheek, "Hi, Lissa." His eyebrows gathered at the bridge of his nose and his eyes conveyed concern. "What a morning, huh?"

"Everything was so quiet and calm," Lissa explained. "Then it all went wild."

"I'm sorry I left your side," Nolan offered as he held and kissed Lissa's hand.

Lissa blinked slowly and smiled softly, "Nole, you're fine. No worries."

The day unfolded with a wait-and-see attitude. Nolan and Owen played cards then watched a basketball game on TV. Lissa drew and dozed, periodically chatting with Amelia about the kids or asking medical questions. When she wasn't encouraging Lissa, Amelia pretended to read through magazines.

Twelve hours after their day had begun, Lissa's contractions started to surge. Addie and Amelia had been sitting in an empty waiting area talking about the situation and catching up on one another's lives. They both ran toward Lissa's room when Addie received a page. Clearing everyone but the nurse and Nolan away from Lissa, Addison assessed the situation. To Nolan, the situation seemed surreal.

As Lissa moaned in pain, Addison looked at Nolan and advised, "We need to deliver the baby, Nolan. Has she spoken to you about a birth plan?"

"She wants to try drug-free but isn't against meds if it gets too intense for her," Nolan mentioned.

Addison leaned down close to Lissa's face and looked in her eyes, "Larissa, your labor is progressing faster and more intensely than can be controlled."

"What's that mean?" Lissa asked with distress.

Nolan whispered in her ear, "Liss, the baby…they can't stop the labor, Shorty. The baby's going to be born but she won't make it." Lissa's lip began quivering as she fell into Nolan's shoulders and sobbed.

Calmly and quietly, Addison continued, "I'm going to step out and put on a gown. Larissa, I have a few questions for you first." Lissa nodded as she attempted to focus through her devastation. Asking about pain control and who she wanted in the room, Addison concluded with, "We have a photographer here at the hospital who can take pictures so you and Nolan can focus on your time with the baby. Would you like me to have her paged?" Both Nolan and Lissa nodded.

Nolan glanced up at Amelia and mouthed that he'd be right back, then he followed Addison out of the room. Once in hallway, he covered his nose, mouth, and chin with his hand and muttered to Addison, "No… no." He shook his head repeatedly as she guided him to a nearby chair.

Addison knelt down and put a hand on his knee. She softly offered, "Nolan, I'm so sorry."

"That's not ok," Nolan sputtered as he shook his head. "There's got to be something you can do. You did surgery on my little sisters. Can't you operate or something? Isn't there some drug you can inject to fix this? This isn't ok."

"I know," Addison sounded quietly. "I'm very, very sorry."

"What happened? Did all these medications you've been pouring into my wife kill our baby? What did you do?" Nolan cried as his tears began to flow.

"We will do our best to figure out what happened. We may never know," Addison explained.

"This isn't how it's supposed to be," Nolan grumbled. Owen stepped into the hallway as Nolan growled with an angry tone, "Hasn't she been through enough? Now you're telling me she has to _deliver_ the baby? Go through labor?" he huffed.

"Or a D & C," Addison reminded him.

"Lissa won't want that," Nolan insisted.

"I know this isn't the birthdate you had in mind. I wish…" she offered before being interrupted.

"September 26th," Nolan spat with wounded venom. "That's the date we have in mind."

Owen reached for his son's hand and placed his hand over it. Gently, he patted it as he whispered, "Nolan…" Nolan rose and stepped away.

"Addison, I'm so sorry he's…" Owen began.

Interrupting, Addison emphasized, "Owen, right now I'm his greatest enemy. He needs to be angry with somebody and I'm an easy target. I understand."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

An hour later, as the sun set on the long, tumultuous, distressing day, the crushing reality of Lissa's situation impinged upon her with force. Both Lissa and Nolan barely spoke as they sat alone in her room waiting for her to be dilated enough to push. The raw reality of loss overtook each of them as they wavered between numbness and tears.

As the contractions increased in intensity and frequency, Lissa was unable to decide whether or not to have an epidural. Within minutes, she dilated far too quickly and her contractions came closer together. There was no time for medications.

Addison returned to the room with a reassuring smile, "I hear you're ready to push."

"It hurts," Lissa groaned as she clung to Nolan.

"I know, honey, I know," Addison spoke with reassuring tones.

Lissa screamed and declared, "I don't like this."

Nolan smirked as he caught Addison's eyes. Larissa had decided to have Amelia in the room with she and Nolan, but felt too awkward having Owen present as her body lay bare for the world to see. He completely understood and lingered in the hallway. Everyone agreed he could step in as soon as the birth concluded.

Addison coached Nolan and Amelia to assist with Lissa's legs and cheered Lissa on to breathe and to push. With four determined pushes, Lissa gave birth.

The baby's tiny heart beat noticeably but began to slow as Addison set the small baby, barely the size of a banana, on Lissa's chest. With an extreme mixture of smiles and tears, the young couple admired their daughter.

"Ten toes, ten fingers, her sweet little face…" Lissa muttered. "She is so perfect."

Nolan slid onto the bed next to his wife and stroked the baby girl, whispering, "She's beautiful."

Prompted by Amelia, Owen entered the room and stepped carefully toward the bed. Amelia embraced Lissa and looked her in the eye – a new bond of common experience was forged. Sadly, they now both knew the pain of giving birth to a dying child. Nolan was supporting the little girl in his hand as Lissa snuggled the baby just below her shoulder.

"Does she have a name?" Amelia whispered.

"Karina Iris," Lissa shared. "The day she was conceived, we saw a double rainbow shining brightly in the sky."

"But we didn't like 'Iris' as a first name," Nolan chuckled.

"Karina means 'dear little one,'" Lissa explained.

Before Owen, Amelia, Addison, and the photographer stepped out to give the couple some final moments with their daughter, each grandparent spoke to the little girl before them.

Owen leaned close to greet his first grandchild and gently stroked Karina's miniature arm, "Karina Iris Tremblay-Hunt. Quite a big name for such a little girl. You are loved little one." He softly kissed her forehead as his eyes filled with tears.

"Hello my precious girl," Amelia greeted her as she gently touched Karina's little cheek. "Your great-grandpa and Grandma Kayla and Grandpa Blake are waiting for you. You are surrounded in love, my sweet."

She gazed between Nolan and Lissa, declaring, "I love you all so much." Owen pursed his lips, trying his best to hold back sobs. He nodded in agreement with Amelia's words as he guided her toward the hall.

Left alone with their daughter, Nolan rested his head on Lissa's as they sat in silence and focused on their baby. Her heart beat its last beat and they both immediately sensed a change in her presence. She was gone.

 _ **The End -**_ UPDATE: This isn't the end after all. :)

 _ **Questions for readers: Would you like another entry in this series or has it run its course? I have storylines in mind and could fast-forward either 4 years or 10 years.**_


	65. Chapter 65 - We Have Each Other

**Chapter 65**

 **A Pivotal Year – We Have Each Other**

 **Nolan and Lissa 18, Ryder 14, Olivia 11**

 **Twins 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Sunday, April 9**

 _ **Quick explanation: I'm in the process of mapping out the next installment. Thank you for all of the great ideas and suggestions. I'm adding a few chapters to APY before beginning the next book, so the story doesn't end at Karina's birth/death. It's a heavy, but hopeful, time for the Shepherd-Hunts.**_

"You're sorry?!" Nolan ranted as he challenged the hospital administrator who was many years his senior. "No, no. You don't seem to understand what I'm saying. If my wife wants to bury our child, that's what will happen. Is that clear? What can I sign to make sure her wishes are clearly understood?"

"Nolan…calm down," Owen stated softly as he patted Nolan's hand. In response, Nolan stood up and began pacing the room with a frown on his face and narrowed eyes.

"Mr. Tremblay-Hunt…" the hospital administrator began before repeating himself. "As I explained, miscarriages that occur before 24 weeks do not have a birth or death certificate. Customarily, in cases such as yours, the hospital offers the service of cremation and communal burial, and we'd be more than willing to do so for your family."

"Mr. Sullivan," Nolan huffed, attempting to speak in a measured tone, "I refuse your _service_. Provide birth and death certificates, don't provide them. I don't care. My daughter will not be placed in some anonymous mass grave at your convenience. Furthermore, _nobody_ will speak with my wife about this again, is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir, we're clear," a beleaguered Mr. Sullivan agreed as he caught Owen's sympathetic yet insistent gaze. "Do you have a funeral home in mind or would you like us to arrange for one?"

"My father can arrange those details with you," Nolan stated plainly as he glanced at Owen before abruptly leaving the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Meanwhile, Lissa leaned onto Amelia's torso as Amelia sat behind her daughter-in-law. Amelia's arms were firmly wrapped around Lissa's shoulders, and Amelia could feel the weight she was balancing on Lissa's behalf. It was as if Lissa had been deflated and left airless and crumpled on the ground. She was nearly lifeless. Holding up her own body was beyond her capabilities as the initial sharpness of grief cut into her.

"My first baby lived about 40 minutes," Amelia disclosed.

"Whaaa…. Huh?" Lissa questioned with confusion. Annabelle was Amelia's first baby as far as she knew.

"Before I married Owen – years before – I had a baby boy. He was born without a brain," Amelia disclosed flatly. "Cruel joke, huh? A brain surgeon having a baby without a brain?"

"Kinda like an 18 year old becoming pregnant too early having a baby born too early…" Lissa connected.

Amelia leaned her cheek against Lissa's. "It's a horrible, indescribable feeling, isn't it? Giving birth is supposed to hurt but be worth it when you hold the baby. For us, holding the baby brings heavy, heartbreaking pain."

"I can't put words to it, Amma. It's miserable. Horrible," Lissa searched for a description. "My bones feel like they're filled with heavy cement, but my arms and legs also feel completely hollow. My heart is huge and cracked and black."

"It doesn't last forever, Liss. I promise," Amelia put forth. "I'm here for you. However I can help best – I can stay out of the way, I can share my story and listen to yours, I can come down and stay with you awhile. You're not alone."

"They asked me if I wanted to hold her one more time before they took her away…" Lissa repeated weakly and slowly. Her monotone, numb, and disoriented voice seemed to float in the room, detached from her body. "The nurse said, 'We'll be taking her away soon.' Taking her away… like she was a pile of laundry or a set of used dishes."

Amelia, tears streaming down her cheeks, leaned her chin onto Lissa's shoulder, "Shhh… shhh… that's not going to happen. Owen and Nolan will handle this, Liss."

"The nurse was going to take her away… like she never existed, like she was garbage. Amma, they were going to throw her away," Lissa continued with paralyzing fear and emotionless muttering. "Medical waste… that's what I heard her say in the hallway to another nurse. My Karina isn't medical waste."

"I know. I know," Amelia reassured her as she rocked her back and forth slowly.

Without engaging in conversation and remaining emotionally disconnected from reality, Lissa informed Amelia, "I want to sleep. Can you bring her to me?"

Amelia worked her way out from behind Lissa, stood up, and carried the baby over to the bed. Lissa's outstretched arms painted a drastic and stark picture of the yearning and desperation of the suffering young mother. Within minutes, Lissa was asleep on her side with Karina snuggled beside her. Amelia sat on the sofa and embraced her own bent legs, breathing deeply and slowly as she attempted to take in the surreal occasion. For a full ten minutes, the women – the mothers – dwelled in silence.

After steadying himself with an enormously deep breath, Nolan entered the room. While he had no problem whatsoever fuming with the hospital administrator, he wanted to be a nurturing presence for his wife. Arriving at the other side of the room's curtain, he stopped and took in the sight of his sleeping wife and deceased daughter. He did not convey any sort of expression, although Amelia could sense that his mind was flooding with emotion and thought. Among his internal considerations, Nolan reminded himself that he was Lissa's rock, her advocate, and her steely presence. The idea of grieving alongside her or of falling apart while holding her didn't even cross his mind. He'd make time for his own grief later.

"All worked out?" Amelia asked softly as she wiped her eyes.

"Yeah," Nolan nodded. "What a f#$%ing bureaucracy." He walked to the window and stared outside. After a period of silence, he continued, "Dad's arranging a funeral home. Have you talked to everyone at home?"

"No… Dad and I were thinking we'd do it in person. Unless you want to call. We'll follow your lead," Amelia explained.

Without moving his focus, Nolan responded flatly, "I'd like to tell Ryder and Livs. I'll call them soon, I guess."

"It's getting late… it's almost 10," Amelia pointed out.

"Oh," Nolan stated with surprise, having no sense of time after the tragic day. "I don't want to wait. I'll call them in a few minutes."

"Dad and I will talk to the littles," Amelia promised. She hesitated to press Nolan to come to yet another decision, but worked up the courage to do so, "We can stay. I… Dad… both or one of us, we can stay as long as you need us."

Scoffing at the insanity of the situation, Nolan answered, "I've got it, Mom. That's a really nice offer, but you've got work and the kids and everything."

"And you have finals coming up and a wife who will be healing and grieving," Amelia pointed out. "You don't have to do this alone, Nolan. There's no shame in having some help."

"Thanks. Let me think about it," Nolan suggested, too tired to process any further considerations.

Owen stepped into the room slowly and spoke in a quiet voice to Nolan and Amelia, "The funeral home can come any time. What would you like me to arrange?"

"Can you ask Liss? Whatever she wants," Nolan answered sadly as he folded his arms, pursed his lips, and looked toward the floor.

Nodding, Owen put his hand on Nolan's shoulder before walking over to Lissa's bed. He sat in a bedside chair and gazed at the Mama and baby who both seemed so peaceful. Softly rubbing Lissa's lower arm, Owen woke her up and inquired, "Lissa, a funeral home has been arranged."

"Thanks, Dads," Lissa whispered blankly as she opened her eyes. "How does this work?"

"We need to let them know when to come," Owen sighed.

Lissa looked down at Karina, then over to Nolan, "Now?"

"Whatever you want, Babe," Nolan assured her.

With her vacant blue eyes, Lissa nodded once and informed Owen, "Anytime… now. Soon. But we don't know if we're burying her or cremating or having some sort of service or anything like that."

"You don't have to decide that today," Owen assured her before he leaned over and kissed Lissa's forehead. He excused himself to arrange details.

Within 30 minutes, the funeral director himself accompanied the staff who would take custody of Karina's tiny body. Having dealt with similar situations before, he was stellar about conveying compassion and clearly outlining next steps. Given his tenderness, Lissa and Nolan discovered that handing the baby to him felt peaceful and right.

With the clock passing by 11pm, Owen and Amelia excused themselves and promised to be back in the morning. Nolan had assumed he would stay at the hospital with Lissa, but learned she had other ideas.

"Please go home, Trems," Lissa urged with love as she weakly grasped his strong hand. "You'll sleep better."

Pulling his sweater off, he conveyed, "I don't want you to be alone, Babe."

Lissa gathered her strength and sat up to embrace her husband. She confessed, "Actually, I'd kind of like to be alone. It's been such a frenzied day. I have nothing left. If you're here, I'll worry about if you're comfortable."

After confirming and re-confirming, Nolan honored Lissa's request. He kissed her several times, repeated that he loved her, and reminded her that he'd have his cell on all night if she changed her mind. "I'm only a mile away, Shorty. Minutes away."

Lissa nodded with the slightest hint of a smile creeping out of the corner of her mouth, "I love you, Trems. Go… rest."

When Nolan reached the main doors of the hospital, he decided to walk home rather than drive the mile to the house. Walking to the car's parking spot was nearly as far as the house. The crisp nighttime air enveloped him into a bubble as the rest of the world seemed to speed by him as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

When he reached home, as Sunday became Monday, Nolan sat on the couch and exhaled from the depths of his body. One dim light lit the tiny house as Nolan fumbled in his pocket for his phone. He dialed Ryder's number and immediately heard his brother's curious voice, "Nolan, what the hell is going on? It's the middle of the night."

"You answered pretty quickly for the middle of the night," Nolan commented dryly.

"Texting with the ladies. You know how it goes. They love me," Ryder boasted, but immediately noted that Nolan didn't respond with his customary chuckle and comeback. After an awkward pause, Ryder checked to make sure Nolan was still on the line, "Nole?"

"Yeah…" Nolan uttered. "I've got some pretty crappy news to share."

"What's up?" Ryder inquired. The baby's well-being wasn't on Ryder's mind. He figured Nolan was going to whine about having a huge paper due or having to take the Jeep to the shop.

"It's Liss and the baby," Nolan disclosed imperceptibly. "She had the baby today."

"Huh? Doesn't she need to stay put a few more months?" Ryder asked with complete confusion as he sat up in bed and leaned against the bed's headboard. "Nolan… what happened? Is the baby going to be ok?"

"It's a long story. Lissa went into labor. They tried to stop it but couldn't. The baby, we named her Karina, she's gone," Nolan shared as his voice broke. "It was too early. There wasn't anything they could do to help her."

"F !#," Ryder sounded in shock. "Dude… that sucks. I'm so sorry. This is unbelievable." Tears slowly spilled from Ryder's eyes.

Nolan agreed, "It is."

"Liss? Is she ok?" Ryder inquired.

"She's pretty shocked. Devastated. Kind of numb," Nolan described. "I'm glad Mom and Dad have been here."

"I wish I was there, man," Ryder offered. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," Nolan purported in an attempt to convince both Ryder and himself. "It's horrible. Tragic. But I'll be fine."

Not fully understanding Nolan's self-protection and denial, Ryder admired what he interpreted as Nolan's strength. His brother was always the one who stayed steady in the midst of a tornado.

Fumbling for words, Ryder unconsciously came up with helpful conversation, "Karina. Nice name. I bet she's tiny."

"She fit in my hand, Ry. I'll text you some pictures," Nolan promised, sounding exhausted. "Karina means 'dear little one' – Lissa chose it. Lissa amazed me today. She's incredible."

"We've always known that, bonehead," Ryder quipped. "Lissa _is_ amazing and incredible. Duh."

With a chuckle, Nolan responded, "True. Hey… I want to tell Livs tomorrow – don't say anything to anyone. Mom and Dad are telling the little kids, but I'm not sure when."

"I wouldn't know what to say," Ryder admitted, assuring his brother that the news would not be shared.

"Thanks for listening, Ryder," Nolan stated with gratitude.

"Shut up," Ryder rebuffed his brother. "We're brothers. I'll always be here for you."

"Same," Nolan responded with a small smile. "I love you, Ryder."

"You gotta get some rest, Nolan. When you start telling me you love me… well, it's time for bed," Ryder teased lovingly.

"Okay," Nolan chuckled.

"Nolan? I love you, too," Ryder expressed before disconnecting the call.

Sitting against the back of the couch, Nolan realized how thankful he was for his irreverent, quirky brother. Selecting a few pictures, Nolan sent a text to Uncle Ryder with bittersweet images. Once the text was sent, Nolan blinked slowly before forcing himself to stand up and walk to the bedroom. Predictably, the ultra-responsible Nolan brushed his teeth and washed his face before undressing and tossing his clothes in the hamper. Emotionally, physically, and intellectually spent, Nolan fell asleep as his head hit the pillow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``'

Meanwhile, Owen and Amelia held one another as they lay in bed at Owen's hotel.

"There are so many questions and so few answers," Amelia mused as Owen stroked her hair.

"The practice of medicine…" Owen sputtered as he searched for an apt response. "Realities of life…"

"I hate it," Amelia declared factually.

Owen rubbed his scruffy beard against Amelia's cheek, whispering, "We all do." He kissed her softly then nibbled on her ear. Working his hand down her side and along her hip, Owen stroked his wife's soft skin.

Connected deeply on multiple levels, Owen and Amelia wept as they wrapped their arms around each other and slowly made love. The pain of their grief was beyond explanation, and the level of their exhaustion had no words. Yet, somehow, a semblance of peace glimmered in as their bodies intertwined and connected. Each kiss was gentle and soft. Each thrust was slow and careful.

"We're in this together, Mia," Owen assured her in a quiet voice as she snuggled into his chest afterward.

"I'm grateful," Amelia whispered in response.

Owen continued, "And the kids, they're not alone either."

"I know," she sniffled. "I love our family, Owen. I love you. Our life. Our beautiful Karina. I'm drowning in love."

With a tear escaping his eye, Owen pursed his lips and rested his forehead on Amelia's shoulder. "I love you more that words can describe."


	66. Chapter 66 - Aftermath

**Chapter 66**

 **A Pivotal Year – Aftermath**

 **Nolan and Lissa 18, Ryder 14, Olivia 11**

 **Twins 6, Lucas 4½**

 **Monday, April 10**

Lissa was dressed and sitting on the sofa in her hospital room when Nolan arrived. The only energy she could gather was used to clench an already framed family picture with Karina and a tiny baby blanket. She said nothing when Nolan stepped into the room and smiled at her sympathetically, "Hey…" he greeted her, "How'd you sleep, Babe?"

As he approached her, she shrugged slightly. She had slept fitfully as she attempted to face the reality of her devastation and anguish. Knowing how much Lissa detested mornings, Nolan wasn't surprised by her lack of response. "I was surprised how hard I crashed," Nolan disclosed with a half-chuckle to break the silence as he gathered Lissa's bags. "I signed all the paperwork and we're free to go. You ready?"

She stood up without speaking. The formerly open-hearted, smiling, and content Lissa felt like a fragmented shell of her former self. Grasping his reassuring hand, Lissa thought to herself that Nolan had no idea how much his presence gave her a reason to keep breathing. Each step was made possible by his ability to move forward and keep guiding her.

"Mom and Dad are at the house," Nolan explained as he helped Lissa get in her car a few minutes later. "They want to stay and support us. What do you think? Would that be helpful for you, Shorty?"

Apparently emotionless, Lissa stared out the side window. Deciding even the most minimal detail was challenging. Attempting to discern what she wanted or needed was impossible. Depleted and numb, she failed to find any words. Rather than try to speak, she sunk into her hollowness and remained mute.

With deep compassion, Nolan reached his right hand over to her left hand and grasped it. As if he was able to read her mind, he confessed, "I don't know what to do either."

The mile drive from the hospital to home was brief. When Nolan pulled into the driveway, he encouraged Lissa to sit tight while he took in the flowers and bags. When he saw Amelia and Owen, who were waiting at the kitchen table, he disclosed with concerned confusion, "She's not talking. At all."

Amelia reassured him, "Today's going to be tough. We'll muddle through it together." She suggested setting Lissa up in the living room, hoping to discourage her from turning her bedroom into a cave of solitude.

A few minutes later, Nolan led Lissa to the couch and sat with her. He wrapped his long arm around her shoulders and could sense her emptiness when she failed to reciprocate emotionally or physically. A dead, hollow weight leaned against Nolan's side as he wrapped a blanket around her. Grabbing the remote because he was unsure how to proceed, he flipped on the TV.

"Here's some water and a few extra pillows," Owen fretted as he attempted to help Lissa settle on the sofa. He smiled with pursed lips as his eyes conveyed his sympathy. He thought to himself that a trauma, where he was able to see and measure the results of his efforts, was far easier than the emotional tending that Lissa needed. So badly, he wanted to fix the situation. Wishing he could simply call out some orders, make some cuts, and throw some stitches, Owen knew that this was a different sort of pain. Grief could not be excised like a tumor, not stitched back together like a lac.

Trying his best to be attentive and helpful, Nolan made suggestions or offers every minute or so. "Do you want to lie down in bed? What can I get for you, Blondie? Anything? What do you want to watch on TV? Or maybe I should just turn it off – what do you want? Do you feel like playing a game? Are you hungry?" Conversation between Amelia, Owen and Nolan took effort and was stilted. Nobody knew what to do.

Weary of the noise, but not the loving efforts, Lissa sighed heavily and walked to the hallway bathroom. As she stood, the other three all prepared to follow her, hoping they might be able to help in some way. When the bathroom door closed firmly, they rested back in their seats and looked at one another blankly. Exiting the room a minute later, Lissa shuffled to her bed, lay down, and burrowed into the blankets hoping to shut out the world.

Fifteen minutes later, Nolan checked on her and thought she was sleeping; in reality, she was wide awake with her eyes closed. Speaking freely, believing they would not be overheard, the triage trio attempted to devise a caretaking plan while Lissa hid away. As Lissa listened, she was both grateful for the care and resentful that they wouldn't leave her in the solitude of her grief.

"How about if I head home?" Owen suggested. "The house doesn't need to be full of activity and people. Besides, the kids need to know."

"I wish we could have someone like Lynne around," Nolan mused. "I'm worried about her while I'm in class. Finals are coming up and I'll be swamped – I won't have time to cook or clean."

"Do you think she's safe alone?" Amelia questioned.

"Safe, yeah, but she'll isolate as much as I let her. She needs to be around people. Dr. Montgomery told me about a support group for mom's who've miscarried. They meet every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I want to take her this week," Nolan stated.

"Be honest with us, Nolan, you're grieving too. What do you need?" Amelia pressed.

"Time… time alone, time with Lissa. A predictable schedule, a routine," Nolan offered with self-awareness.

Owen sighed, "Maybe Mom and I should head home for now, but, Nolan, remember that we're only a phone call and a few hours away."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`'

When Amelia and Owen returned to Seattle late Monday afternoon, the kids were in the midst of their regular post-school activities. Ria, Lucas, and Ryder were at their own soccer practices, Anna was at dance, and Olivia, in between classes, was home. Knowing Owen and Amelia were arriving home any minute, Lynne left Olivia behind while she went to pick up Anna. Amelia agreed to pick up the soccer players on her way home from the airport.

"Daddy!" Olivia bellowed with joy when Owen came through the garage door. She ran over to him at full speed and jumped into his arms.

Her age didn't stop Owen from scooping her up and greeting her buoyantly, "Hey, Red!" Then he looked in her eyes as he gathered his brows, kissed her cheek, and declared, "I missed you so much."

"Daddy," Olivia pointed out playfully, "It's not like you were gone forever or something, silly."

"I know," Owen grinned. "Sometimes I stop and realize just how much I love you and am thankful to have you in my life."

Cocking her head, Olivia held Owen's glance briefly before returning to her every day demeanor. She grasped his hand and led him to the Dining Room table. "You can be my first player," she explained as she spread papers out and arranged them just so. "I'm making up a game where the people can go to the hospital or to soccer or to visit the baby or all sorts of other places. It's a game of our lives, but if you're playing Lucas and you roll a six, it gets all wacky because you end up working in an operating room and not going to preschool. Get it?"

As soon as Livs had said the words 'visit the baby,' everything else she spoke became muddled in Owen's ears. Noticing she'd stopped talking, Owen grinned and nodded.

Lowering her chin toward her chest, Olivia studied her distracted father and observed, "You're not listening, are you?"

"I'm sorry, Livs… I'm trying," Owen explained. "Sweetie, you and I need to talk about something. Why don't we go sit outside and watch the water?"

Since he didn't suggest they go to her room, the bottom stair, or his office, Olivia was fairly certain she wasn't in trouble. "What's wrong?" Olivia inquired with hesitation. Without responding to her question, Owen picked her up and carried her outside. He needed her close and needed to hold on as he collected the energy to break the news.

After settling down on a lounge chair and placing Olivia facing him, Owen began, "Livs… Nolan really wanted to tell you this, and he asked me to say that he's really sorry he couldn't call you."

"Is he in the hospital?" Olivia questioned.

"No, Red, he's home… with Lissa," Owen assured her.

"Then why are your eyes full of tears, Daddy?" Olivia asked as she held Owen's hand.

Owen blinked slowly before spouting, "There's no easy way to tell you, Livs. Nolan and Lissa… the baby… Lissa had to have the baby, honey, and the baby died."

"Why?" Olivia questioned as tears fell quickly down her cheeks.

"Her body started to have the baby – we don't know why. Aunt Addie gave Lissa lots of medicine to stop the labor but sometimes the medicine doesn't work," Owen explained.

"That's sad," Olivia announced with disappointment as her bottom lip quivered. She scooted up the lounge chair and embraced her daddy as she wept.

"I have lots of pictures. Do you want to see?" Owen offered. Olivia nodded her head as Owen opened his photo app. "Her name is Karina Iris Tremblay-Hunt," he announced as he brought up his favorite picture of the family.

"That's a super long name. She would've hated learning to write that in Kindergarten," Olivia pondered aloud. "Super long, but pretty. Daddy, she's so teeny tiny."

"Yep," Owen scrolled through the pictures to one where Karina fit in his hand, "Look at this." He held up his hand and pointed, "From the tips of my fingers to my wrist. She fit right there."

"Is Nolan sad? Is Lissa ok after having the baby?" Olivia questioned.

"Everyone's sad. Lissa is really, really sad but she's going to be ok. She did a great job having Karina and Nolan and Mommy were right there helping her," Owen purported, hoping he was right.

"Where were you?" Olivia inquired, completely befuddled.

With a soft chuckle, Owen admitted, "In the hallway waiting. Having a baby… well, it's a private time."

"Can we sit here and snuggle without talking?" Olivia requested. Owen whispered a quick 'yeah' and held his little girl as she sniffled and watched the water.

Twenty minutes later, Lynne stepped outside with a blanket and suggested, "You two must be cold out here."

Owen smirked with gratitude as Olivia peered up at her nanny. "Miss Lynne, Nolan and Lissa's baby died."

Lynne knelt down and grasped Olivia's hand, "I know, sweetheart. It's very, very sad news, isn't it?"

"Major sad, huge sad, gigantic sad," Olivia detailed.

"Anna is inside changing her clothes, Olivia, and she doesn't know yet. I think when your mommy comes home, Mommy and Daddy are going to tell the little ones," Lynne clarified. Owen nodded.

"And Ryder. He needs to know, too," Olivia advocated.

Owen leaned his cheek against the top of Olivia's head and disclosed, "He already knows, Red." As Owen concluded his sentence, he heard the garage door open. "I need to jump up and say hi to the other kids, Liv," Owen stated. Olivia asked Lynne to sit with her outside because she didn't feel like playing.

After hugging and picking up each of the littles and hearing about their days, Owen glanced at Amelia hoping for a cue about timing. Amelia peered outside toward Olivia and Lynne. Owen nodded subtly before reaching for Ryder to receive a rare embrace.

"Hey, guys, let's come over here," Owen suggested as he headed toward the sofa.

Lucas asserted, "But we haven't changed clothes yet. That's the deal."

"I know," Owen nodded. "Today's different." Lucas shrugged and snuggled tightly into Amelia's side. Ryder bravely joined the announcement and encouraged Anna to sit on his lap. Ria sat near Owen and gazed at him with adoration and anticipation.

Owen surveyed the scene and looked into the eyes of each child before putting forward, "Lucas… Annabelle… Victoria… Mommy and I have sad news to tell you. Nolan and Lissa's baby died." He knew the direct, to-the-point words were the best method, but it broke his heart to speak them. Amelia had asked him to break the news, not sure she could do so without breaking down.

"How'd it die? It was still in Lissa's tummy," Lucas responded.

"Lissa's body started having the baby before it was time," Amelia explained. "She went to the hospital and they tried to stop it, but they couldn't."

"Did the baby… why did it come out early?" Lucas pressed, attempting to form his questions and make sense of the mystery.

"Sometimes, it just happens that way," Owen stated.

"But Dr. Karev saved me when I was born too early," Ria reminded everyone. "Didn't anyone there know how to do what Dr. K did?"

"The baby was much, much younger and not ready to live outside Lissa," Amelia clarified.

"Am I still gonna be an uncle?" Lucas wondered aloud, adding, "When will the baby come back? Can they put it back inside Lissa so it can keep growing?"

"No, buddy," Owen shook his head. "She won't be back. She died forever, Luke, but Mommy and I have pictures we can show you. Owen moved to sit beside Amelia and let her take the lead on showing and explaining the photos.

"How come she's so red?" Anna inquired.

Victoria added, "Were her eyes closed the whole time?"

"What's that on her belly button?" Lucas quizzed.

The questions came one after another. As Owen and Amelia traded off responding, Ryder spotted Lynne and Olivia outside. Quietly, he slipped away from the Littles and approached Livs.

"Hey, Livie," Ryder grinned feebly as he joined her and Lynne on the lounge chair. Lynne patted Olivia's hand and smiled at Ryder before excusing herself and returning inside.

"It's super sad, isn't it?" Olivia noted to her brother.

"I'm sad, but I'm also really angry," Ryder admitted. "Nolan and Lissa would be cool parents."

"I wish I could've held the baby. What was her name again?" Olivia mentioned.

"Karisa Iris. Karisa means cute little one or something like that. Iris has to do with rainbows because rainbows are special to Nolan and Lissa for some reason," Ryder attempted to express.

"I wish I could talk to Lissa," Olivia mumbled.

Ryder pulled out his phone, "Let's call them right now." He waited for an answer and then heard Nolan's voice. It sounded weary. "Hey, Nole."

"Ryder, what's up?" Nolan inquired as if the phone call had no special occasion.

"Olivia and Dad just talked and Livs wanted to call, so we're calling. Just me and Livs. Dad's inside with the littles," Ryder related. "Here she is… here's Livs."

"Hi," Olivia squeaked in an uncharacteristically soft voice. "I'm gigantic sad, Nolan. I wish Karina was still alive."

Nolan closed his eyes and pursed his lips as he balanced his forehead in his hand, "Me, too, Livs. It helps to hear your voice, though. I know she would have loved having you for an auntie."

"Is Lissa… I mean, I know she's sad, but… my heart hurts for her. Is she… will she always be sad?" Olivia sputtered as she tried to name the concerns rolling around in her mind.

"It's going to take a long time, Livs. But I'm here with her and we've got all of you guys. That helps," Nolan attempted to console.

"Can I say hi to Lissa?" Olivia requested.

Nolan paused, unsure how to respond. Stating that Lissa wasn't speaking would only compound Olivia's worries. "She was asleep last time I checked," Nolan attested. "I can go check, if you want." With Olivia's encouragement, Nolan went into the Master Bedroom and discovered Lissa lying on the bed staring at the wall. She moved her eyes and looked at him when he appeared.

Whispering, Nolan shared, "Olivia is on the phone. She really wants to talk to you."

Much to Nolan's surprise, Lissa slid up to a seated position and reached for the phone. With her other hand, she grasped Nolan's hand tightly. He sat down on the bed and kissed Lissa's hand.

"Hi, Livs," Larissa greeted weakly.

"Lissa, I'm really sad… super sad," Olivia emphasized.

"Me too," Lissa eeked out.

"Are you ok?" Olivia inquired with grave concern.

"No… I'm exhausted and my body hurts from having Karina. My heart hurts because I miss her," Lissa divulged.

"You should have some ice cream," Olivia declared, offering what she considered wise medical advice.

"Nolan will need to see if we have any," Lissa responded, trying to smile. "I'm tired, Livs, I need to rest. I love you."

"I love you too," Olivia echoed, adding with a whisper, "my favoritist sister."

Lissa sunk into the pillows and closed her eyes as she held the phone out for Nolan. The enormity of the pain engulfed her. This time, however, Lissa kept hold of Nolan as she began to grieve. After he said goodbye to Olivia, he crawled into bed and held Lissa from behind. He whispered, "We're going to be ok, Liss. I promise. We're going to be ok." His words of assurance provided the faint glimmer of hope she needed. The two rested together silently, bonded by their mutual love and shared sadness.

 _ **The End**_


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